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User: bitt3n

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Comments · 789

  1. Re:Sounds like IT incompetence on Emory University SCCM Server Accidentally Reformats All Computers Campus-wide · · Score: 5, Funny

    Fourth unhappy one? you're not making mistakes, you have a problem

    Might as well face it, I'm addicted to love

  2. Re:Sounds like IT incompetence on Emory University SCCM Server Accidentally Reformats All Computers Campus-wide · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Have you ever made a massive, expensive mistake?

    Glances woefully down at wedding ring...

    The person learned their lesson and will be extremely cautious in the future.

    Thinks back on previous three weddings...

  3. Re:Guess they overestimated some. on Pentagon Document Lays Out Battle Plan Against Zombies · · Score: 2

    if they're ready for a Zombie apocalypse, it stands to reason that they're ready for more realistic variations on the theme.

    Sure we may be ready for a zombie apocalypse, but are we prepared for the poor plotting, derivative story-line, cheap jump-scares, wooden acting, gratuitous sex scenes, and corny self-referential jokes of the inevitable sequel?

  4. Re:You are missing the point on Pedophile Asks To Be Deleted From Google Search After European Court Ruling · · Score: 1

    This is a decision that will affect any search engine, any index, anyone who offers links to publicly available material or provides any sort of aggregation service.

    I don't get how this will work. Will these rulings affect google's results in the US? Surely google.com can legally index an article in an EU newspaper. So can the EU then subsequently force google to remove this data from their server in the US? If so, it seems as if the EU is limiting information flow between a US company and US citizens (under the threat that the US company will be punished in the EU if it does not comply). This seems rather peculiar. Yet if this isn't how it works, then anyone in the EU could just visit google.com instead of their local google, thus rendering the whole system moot.

  5. Re:Mario Costeja González on EU Court of Justice Paves Way For "Right To Be Forgotten" Online · · Score: 1

    That is a response to your curious understanding of how free speech is handled in the US, not the EU.

  6. Re:Mario Costeja González on EU Court of Justice Paves Way For "Right To Be Forgotten" Online · · Score: 1

    The EU does cherish freedom of speech. But it also cherishes the privacy of the individual.

    The US - based on comments on this site - appears to have decided that freedom of speech trumps everything else. You can lie, cheat, shout fire in a crowded theatre, call in fake bomb scares, basically anything at all because it's all "freedom of speech."

    The EU takes a much more nuanced view.

    This is a canard. Nobody in his right mind, even on this site, contends that free speech ought to allow one to break laws. Punching someone in the face is undoubtedly a form of speech, insofar as it communicates a message, but one cannot defend such an assault on free speech grounds. Likewise with insider trading and any other crime involving speech.

    You appear to be framing the difference between the two approaches as one of Yosemite Sam on the one side, speechifying willy nilly without regard for the baleful consequences of his indiscretions, and on the other, the pasty-faced egghead Parisian intellectual in his black beret and turtleneck, heaving a weary sigh at the rusticated antics of his Yankee cousin, whilst making a few minor tweaks to the law in the interests of the basic human decency that so delights the heart of the European, but so quickly withers away in the harsh frontier conditions of the New World. You might bring some of that famed European nuance to bear on the question and consider whether this cartoonish interpretation does anything more than flatter your own ego.

  7. Re:Key is non-programming skills on Ask Slashdot: Minimum Programming Competence In Order To Get a Job? · · Score: 1

    Learn to code and try to get a job coding the software that runs the machines that took your job.

    this is fiendishly clever. if you're bad enough at it, you might end up getting your original job back.

  8. Re:Does it really matter? on Virgin Galactic Passengers May Just Miss Going into Space · · Score: 1

    Presumably they are looking to see the curvature of the earth and the stars set against a black background. If I saw that, I'd feel like I went to space, even if technically I did not.

    The airline could even capitalize on this by awarding certificates to passengers afterward proclaiming that they remain Official Space Virgins.

  9. Re:Ban them all you want on UN to Debate Use of Fully Autonomous Weapons, New Report Released · · Score: 1

    What will happen is that the defense contractors will develop autonomous less-lethal robots that can scout, identify targets, and engage with less lethal weapons. But you know... for flexibility purposes... we'll just make sure the weapon hardpoints are as modular as possible. Hey! I know! We'll make them be adaptable to any standard infantry fir... errrrr, less-lethal weapon.

    They'll just install a remote attack-authorization button so the thing isn't technically autonomous, and then someone at Quantico will put his coffee cup on top of the button. Problem solved.

  10. Re:At least there's hope . . . on Why Disney Can't Give Us High-Def Star Wars Where Han Shoots First · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Man, how do you mess up Star Wars?!

    It must really annoy Lucas to hear people ask this even after he produced a detailed three-part instructional video on the subject.

  11. Re:Overpriced snake oil salesmen on Apple Reportedly Buying Beats Electronics For $3.2 Billion · · Score: 1

    The can buy Monster cables next.

    Monster actually used to manufacture Beats.

  12. Re:Comma, Comma, Comma on First Arrest In Japan For 3D-Printed Guns · · Score: 1

    Comma, Comma, Comma

    Comma Chameleeeeon

  13. Re:I know somebody like this on As Domestic Abuse Goes Digital, Shelters Turn To Counter-surveillance With Tor · · Score: 2

    finally some common sense! what my wife confides in her girlfriends during their weekly book club sessions is none of my beeswax. If they're meeting at our house that week, I make a point of scheduling some time at the driving range and let them have their fun. likewise, she has sense enough not to ask what exactly I'm doing hanging out at the local highway rest stop between the hours of 2 and 4 am every Saturday night.

  14. Re:I know somebody like this on As Domestic Abuse Goes Digital, Shelters Turn To Counter-surveillance With Tor · · Score: 4, Funny

    Exactly. My wife is free to read my email any time she wants, and vice versa. Can't imagine needing to hide anything. I've also learned there are two sides to every story. Be very careful judging if you've only heard one.

    the other side of the story: "my husband thinks he has access to all my email."

  15. Re:In my experience in that situation... on Ask Slashdot: Joining a Startup As an Older Programmer? · · Score: 1

    Thus instead of "old guy" I became the quasi guru.

    is that like the startup version of quasi modo?

  16. Re:What the police have on Death Wish Meets GPS: iPhone Theft Victims Confronting Perps · · Score: 1

    They forgot to list apathy.

    They probably just couldn't be bothered.

  17. Re:Police often wont take care of it... on Death Wish Meets GPS: iPhone Theft Victims Confronting Perps · · Score: 5, Funny

    Not that confronting the perpetrator is a great idea, but don't expect the full CSI treatment when you report the theft.

    Actually, confronting the perp is the best way to get the full CSI treatment. If you're lucky, they might even pull up your dental records to conclusively ID your remains.

  18. Re:Captain Obvoius on Male Scent Molecules May Be Compromising Biomedical Research · · Score: 1

    I think you grossly underestimate how low the standards of many men actually are. The requirements are pretty much just a pulse, and even that has some wiggle room.

    In all my years as a celebrated sex therapist, I've never heard that particular bit of female anatomy referred to as a 'wiggle room' before.

  19. Re:Captain Obvoius on Male Scent Molecules May Be Compromising Biomedical Research · · Score: 1

    Sex in the dark is boring.

    Land sakes, man, sex should never be boring! Leave the light on long enough to find the hole that's already there!

  20. Re:not a suitable tool for studying amphiban anato on The People Who Are Still Addicted To the Rubik's Cube · · Score: 5, Funny

    Solved it back when they first came out in '78. With a SCREWDRIVER.

    You're a better man than I. After eight screwdrivers I ran out orange juice and threw my cube at the wall, shattering my lava lamp and setting fire to my shag carpeting. I managed to stomp it out, but my elevator shoes and bell bottoms were ruined in the process. The very next day I slicked back my hair, bought a pin-striped suit, and started buying up distressed companies and selling off their assets to fuel my coke addiction.

  21. Re:Are they allowed to do that? on Amazon Turns Off In-App Purchases In iOS Comixology · · Score: 1

    The vast, vast, vast majority of developers happily pay that fee.

    happily (adv): to mutter swears under one's breath whilst impotently shaking his fist at the the heavens and kicking the family dog

  22. They belong in a museum! on E.T. Found In New Mexico Landfill · · Score: 1

    a museum buried in a landfill.

  23. I don't understand the name on Google Plus Now Minus Chief Vic Gundotra · · Score: 3, Funny

    Why did they choose "Google+"? It has all the positive connotations of "HIV+" and the service is not even remotely viral.

  24. I have an idea on Anyone Can Buy Google Glass April 15 · · Score: 1

    Cut out the middleman! Pay me $1499 and I'll punch you in the face direct from the source.

  25. Re:Ability to design and write software... on Michael Bloomberg: You Can't Teach a Coal Miner To Code · · Score: 2

    I don't think anybody is saying "there is no coal miner on the planet you can teach to code".

    What they're saying is "do not count on training all coal miners to write code and expect that to work".

    The problem is that by running with the most plausible interpretation, you give up the opportunity to shake your head sadly whilst piously intoning moral platitudes.