(note: there's also a ton of general human-performance blunders as well - I particularly like the moments when tech buzzword piles defy explanation - even by Jobs)
Re:Just A Variation On A Theme
on
Prey Review
·
· Score: 1
I noticed that in the screen shots of Prey - "hey look Doom 3 corridors".
Apart from Decent style play here and there, what I'm wanting is something akin to Return to Castle Wolfenstein which make the Quake III engine sing, and put in some nice mechanics. I was never into team-based shooters before RTCW, it's balance is really nice. Whenever the Doom3 engine RTCW varient comes out, I'll be drooling up a storm, but between member and weapon balance, there's plenty of spark left that hasn't been done yet.
Sorry I gotta disagree - Vaporware, has always meant a product or software package that was announced but never "really" in development and had no release date. This is not the case with either the Wii or the PS3. Now how MANY PS3s that's up for grabs, but with all the infrastructure in place - what do you expect to be created? The Coleco Adam 2?
Love the vaporware tag from the Sony haters. By that measure - so is the Wii - by virtue of neither being out yet. Must be one of those unmodable ways of spreading FUD that I've heard so much about.
Oh shit - even when Apple's margins were massive in the early 90s they could'nt hold a candle to Sun and SGI. Those things were insane! The last computer lease I ever saw, was for an SGI box. Course memory back then was attrocious too..anyone remember how much NeXT was charging per 8 megs? I think it was 1000.00 back in 1992?
Dont cross the Kermit folks! He's got the industry by the tail and will PWN you! Thank you for setting me straight! You sure showed me, and the rest of the world how superior you are. Thank you - thank you - thank you.
Every summer the same tired shit is rolled out by the press which has little to cover, and much to harp about. It's called "writer earning a paycheck time" again. This time it's particularly accute because it's a platform swapping year (or two) and transitions mean developers in the middle of a 2 year cycle. The video game industry was broken just before GTA3, just before Quake III, just before Doom (really broken before Doom because the Jaguar was on the skids, the 3do was a flop, and NEC's offering was going down in flames etc), just before Zelda & Mario 64 - anyone noticing a trend here?
Just like console cycles, the industry has it's creative cycles as well. Then some dev group or a new band of kids throws something on a new hardware platform and it's OMG "they're turning our kids into zombies" and "evercrack is taking over the world". And for those lamenting sequals, um - that's what Nintendo's been banking on for the last 26 years as far as Mario and Link are concerned. For every Nintendogs there's also a new metroid pinball. Surprise surprise. News flash! Dirt is brown! Water is Wet! - put that baby in 50pt Helvetica and slap it on the cover of the June issue.
My next prediction? Watch this November when the same salaried press-fuckers will be touting gaming's new "renaissance". NOW whose being jaded?
ME! You don't have to be a former member of a press-club to spew this rant - but it HELPS.
(it also helps to try to imagine the writer quitting smoking while typing this)
There you have it. Fuck hands-on, or your own opinions - the mighty DDLKermit007 has spoken!
DDLKermit007 says "it was flipping awesome"!
Well - say no more! I'm convinced. I'll pre-order one RIGHT NOW! Where's my credit card, I'll do this over the phone, or this internet web-thingie.
Thank you DDLKermit007 - thank you. For providing a ray of sunshine into our bleak lives and setting us on the right course. DDLKermit007 knows how to tell it like it is and the world is a better place for it. Nay-sayers take notice DDLKermit007 is in town and you're so PWNED!
Yes I was considering that when I used the phrase "video games today" - today not being 1981. Unless you're typing across a 300 baud modem from 1981 through a dimensional warp in whch case I'd say:
Don't buy Betamax, avoid the RCA CED Video Disc System, wait for Ms. Pac Man for the Atari 2600 because Pac-Man sucks in comparrison, and for the love of god stay away from anything E.T. related in video games, don't buy the Adam from Coleco, don't buy a Mac until software comes out in reasonable levels in say 1993, and DO buy lots of stock from a company that just got started being publically traded called Microsoft.
But to respond - I'm not talking about games that don't end - or even games with "waves" - but games that have bosses. Robotron didn't end - but had hundreds of enemies - as did most early 80s games. I'm talking about a game with two characters - you - and "IT". The object would be working with the environment to stay alive from "IT" (except for the multiplayer example where you'd have "us" vs "it") but "It" would never die - ever. One wave - the one involving you playing till you die.
I had for sometime was a game based loosely on the old RPG (boardgame) Orgre. The thing that was appealing was that you were being hunted relentlessly by a (virtually) unstoppable (technological) force. I always thought if you removed the "virtually", you could really have something.
I've yet to see a game that presents an undefeatable boss. The idea being how long you survive IS the game. The environment could be anything but you could slowly ramp up the pace and create traps that would confound the player as they're being pursed. Sometimes slowly - sometimes quickly - but never stopping. You could slow the "ogre" down, even delay it - but never stop it. You would die - and then the game would end. When you would die was up to you. How you would die was up to IT.
It could even be done in a multiplayer deathmatch environ where you would watch all the other players get destroyed one by one. You could gang up - and perhaps really delay things - but never defeat it. Even being reduced to a spectator when you die could be fun - watching each player be killed one by one until the end of the round. You do see this in deathmatch shooters, but that's just a gaggle of humans whacking each other. Man vs. unstoppable machine would be - or could be - much more fun.
Most good horror films have this in some shape or form but in video games today - you always "beat" the protagonist. Take THAT element away - and you could have something very-very disturbing. It's what made the zombies (initally) scary in Resident Evil. The idea that you only were putting them down for a while - and that they could get back up and pursue you. Until you killed them again which suddenly didn't make them nearly as much fun.
Just email me for the royalties - or hire me, I'm a freelancer (mgabrys@netherworld.com).
re:"Sega would rather crap out things like every Sonic game since 1992 and hope people buy them on name recognition alone."
As opposed to games like "Dr. Mario" which were legendary in the cannon of the saga of the famed plumber, utmost in it's importance on the game landscape, and one that would last the test of time and be idolized for all time. The tale of a plumber in Doctor drag dispensing a mountain of pills. Ironic, subtle, and a modern parable that we all can enjoy and learn from.
Nearly 700 copies of "A Star Wars Holiday Special" appeared in the trash around LucasFilm that had been taped over some old media George had obtained from NASA years ago.
Replying to his video Mr. Troll. What's with the overuse of "laughing out loud" anyway - isn't this term getting beyond lame *chuckles* ((hugs)) >>>Go FistfuckYourGrandmother ? Love Orifice Licking do ya? Like Orgasmic Livers? Lost Orange Lips? LOL!
Check the fuckers link, dumbshit. Or did your brain blow another fanboy artery over the Wii?
GTA - no - lame knock-offs? Yes stick a fork in them.
GTA was never exclusively about hip-hop culture and was about various gangland activities. It wasn't until the same jokers who brought you material of the same level of sillyness in True Crime that the increasingly out of date hip-hop culture tied it's marketing wagon to the scene. I can't even fathom why people find such dated 90's material entertaining myself, and wonder when the next culture trend will finally emerge away from the overstaurated MTV-bling-pimp-my-boredom scene.
Even as far as San Andreas topographically, there's far more open spaces outside the cities than the cities themselves. So are rural games obsolete as well? There's only one to date (well perhaps 2, Destory All Humans had plenty of farmland).
As far as generes being overdone - um - WW2 games anyone? How many Nazis are there to kill? I think we depopulated Germany about 10 times over at the current rate.
re:"Whatever happened to the land of the Free? If you want to gamble your money on-line, why shouldn't you be able to?"
Um - some boat people you sent our way got mixed up into our politics. The one's wearing belt buckles on their heads. Thanks for starting us out with the best and the brightest.
re:" I won't be trusting either industry - and I'll be doing my level best to avoid buying their products, even if that means my not having any movies or music at all."
Which is why they CARE so much about you. Now if you were a current customer....
Slashdot Mirror
I think the run of ads around 1980 were particularly bad as each and every one of them showed people in near-orgasm at the sight of a few pixels:
r i%20commercial
http://youtube.com/watch?v=mLiBK3O1zHU&search=ata
There were other ads from atari not nearly as cornball, but these were in the highest rotation so yes I'm scarred for life.
I don't think you want to use the word "FIXED" in that sentance. Just a tip (or snip).
OH! There's plenty of those too - here's a highlight reel all in one file!
l e%20bloopers
http://youtube.com/watch?v=jAsxzwHaGjk&search=app
(note: there's also a ton of general human-performance blunders as well - I particularly like the moments
when tech buzzword piles defy explanation - even by Jobs)
I was thinking the same thing - most blatant request for PRON implementation EVER!
"want to look at the app icon on the dock, blink on it, and get it up!"
Desktop Viagra anyone?
Pac-Man is a little extreme - or at least steeped in the drug culture:
% 20man
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0x1M0lJgbC0&search=pac
I noticed that in the screen shots of Prey - "hey look Doom 3 corridors".
Apart from Decent style play here and there, what I'm wanting is something akin to Return to Castle Wolfenstein which make the Quake III engine sing, and put in some nice mechanics. I was never into team-based shooters before RTCW, it's balance is really nice. Whenever the Doom3 engine RTCW varient comes out, I'll be drooling up a storm, but between member and weapon balance, there's plenty of spark left that hasn't been done yet.
I thought we were all popped out of a "I Dream Of Genie" parody according to the state of Kansas and Family Guy.
Sorry I gotta disagree - Vaporware, has always meant a product or software package that was announced but never "really" in development and had no release date. This is not the case with either the Wii or the PS3. Now how MANY PS3s that's up for grabs, but with all the infrastructure in place - what do you expect to be created? The Coleco Adam 2?
FUD FUD FUD FUD FUD!
Love the vaporware tag from the Sony haters. By that measure - so is the Wii - by virtue of neither being out yet. Must be one of those unmodable ways of spreading FUD that I've heard so much about.
Oh shit - even when Apple's margins were massive in the early 90s they could'nt hold a candle to Sun and SGI. Those things were insane! The last computer lease I ever saw, was for an SGI box. Course memory back then was attrocious too..anyone remember how much NeXT was charging per 8 megs? I think it was 1000.00 back in 1992?
I was thinking cards too. I don't know anything other than IRIX that they have in the software catagory.
Dont cross the Kermit folks! He's got the industry by the tail and will PWN you! Thank you for setting me straight! You sure showed me, and the rest of the world how superior you are. Thank you - thank you - thank you.
Every summer the same tired shit is rolled out by the press which has little to cover, and much to harp about. It's called "writer earning a paycheck time" again. This time it's particularly accute because it's a platform swapping year (or two) and transitions mean developers in the middle of a 2 year cycle. The video game industry was broken just before GTA3, just before Quake III, just before Doom (really broken before Doom because the Jaguar was on the skids, the 3do was a flop, and NEC's offering was going down in flames etc), just before Zelda & Mario 64 - anyone noticing a trend here?
Just like console cycles, the industry has it's creative cycles as well. Then some dev group or a new band of kids throws something on a new hardware platform and it's OMG "they're turning our kids into zombies" and "evercrack is taking over the world". And for those lamenting sequals, um - that's what Nintendo's been banking on for the last 26 years as far as Mario and Link are concerned. For every Nintendogs there's also a new metroid pinball. Surprise surprise. News flash! Dirt is brown! Water is Wet! - put that baby in 50pt Helvetica and slap it on the cover of the June issue.
My next prediction? Watch this November when the same salaried press-fuckers will be touting gaming's new "renaissance". NOW whose being jaded?
ME! You don't have to be a former member of a press-club to spew this rant - but it HELPS.
(it also helps to try to imagine the writer quitting smoking while typing this)
Most n64 games were over 60 dollars, and many were as high as 80.
By the way, anyone notice the dollar is worth less than 16 years ago? Anyone?
Oh fuckit I forgot I'm talking to the Linux and anti-DRM so we can steal everything and fuck the artists crowd. Never mind.
There you have it. Fuck hands-on, or your own opinions - the mighty DDLKermit007 has spoken!
DDLKermit007 says "it was flipping awesome"!
Well - say no more! I'm convinced. I'll pre-order one RIGHT NOW! Where's my credit card, I'll do this over the phone, or this internet web-thingie.
Thank you DDLKermit007 - thank you. For providing a ray of sunshine into our bleak lives and setting us on the right course. DDLKermit007 knows how to tell it like it is and the world is a better place for it. Nay-sayers take notice DDLKermit007 is in town and you're so PWNED!
Then we can see if it's good or gimick - a neat controller design or a nintendo power glove.
Until then, you can go back to bashing the PS3 as usual.
Yes I was considering that when I used the phrase "video games today" - today not being 1981. Unless you're typing across a 300 baud modem from 1981 through a dimensional warp in whch case I'd say:
Don't buy Betamax, avoid the RCA CED Video Disc System, wait for Ms. Pac Man for the Atari 2600 because Pac-Man sucks in comparrison, and for the love of god stay away from anything E.T. related in video games, don't buy the Adam from Coleco, don't buy a Mac until software comes out in reasonable levels in say 1993, and DO buy lots of stock from a company that just got started being publically traded called Microsoft.
But to respond - I'm not talking about games that don't end - or even games with "waves" - but games that have bosses. Robotron didn't end - but had hundreds of enemies - as did most early 80s games.
I'm talking about a game with two characters - you - and "IT". The object would be working with the environment to stay alive from "IT" (except for the multiplayer example where you'd have "us" vs "it")
but "It" would never die - ever. One wave - the one involving you playing till you die.
I had for sometime was a game based loosely on the old RPG (boardgame) Orgre. The thing that was appealing was that you were being hunted relentlessly by a (virtually) unstoppable (technological) force. I always thought if you removed the "virtually", you could really have something.
I've yet to see a game that presents an undefeatable boss. The idea being how long you survive IS the game. The environment could be anything but you could slowly ramp up the pace and create traps that would confound the player as they're being pursed. Sometimes slowly - sometimes quickly - but never stopping. You could slow the "ogre" down, even delay it - but never stop it. You would die - and then the game would end. When you would die was up to you. How you would die was up to IT.
It could even be done in a multiplayer deathmatch environ where you would watch all the other players get destroyed one by one. You could gang up - and perhaps really delay things - but never defeat it. Even being reduced to a spectator when you die could be fun - watching each player be killed one by one until the end of the round. You do see this in deathmatch shooters, but that's just a gaggle of humans whacking each other. Man vs. unstoppable machine would be - or could be - much more fun.
Most good horror films have this in some shape or form but in video games today - you always "beat" the protagonist. Take THAT element away - and you could have something very-very disturbing. It's what made the zombies (initally) scary in Resident Evil. The idea that you only were putting them down for a while - and that they could get back up and pursue you. Until you killed them again which suddenly didn't make them nearly as much fun.
Just email me for the royalties - or hire me, I'm a freelancer (mgabrys@netherworld.com).
re:"Sega would rather crap out things like every Sonic game since 1992 and hope people buy them on name recognition alone."
As opposed to games like "Dr. Mario" which were legendary in the cannon of the saga of the famed plumber, utmost in it's importance on the game landscape, and one that would last the test of time and be idolized for all time. The tale of a plumber in Doctor drag dispensing a mountain of pills. Ironic, subtle, and a modern parable that we all can enjoy and learn from.
I got shivers from that game. SHIVERS.
Nearly 700 copies of "A Star Wars Holiday Special" appeared in the trash around LucasFilm that had been taped over some old media George had obtained from NASA years ago.
Replying to his video Mr. Troll. What's with the overuse of "laughing out loud" anyway - isn't this term getting beyond lame *chuckles* ((hugs)) >>>Go FistfuckYourGrandmother ? Love Orifice Licking do ya? Like Orgasmic Livers? Lost Orange Lips? LOL!
Check the fuckers link, dumbshit.
Or did your brain blow another fanboy artery over the Wii?
I'll play GTA4 on the highest end system on the planet - in the meantime - enjoy your fanboy vids.
GTA - no - lame knock-offs? Yes stick a fork in them.
GTA was never exclusively about hip-hop culture and was about various gangland activities. It wasn't until the same jokers who brought you material of the same level of sillyness in True Crime that the increasingly out of date hip-hop culture tied it's marketing wagon to the scene. I can't even fathom why people find such dated 90's material entertaining myself, and wonder when the next culture trend will finally emerge away from the overstaurated MTV-bling-pimp-my-boredom scene.
Even as far as San Andreas topographically, there's far more open spaces outside the cities than the cities themselves. So are rural games obsolete as well? There's only one to date (well perhaps 2, Destory All Humans had plenty of farmland).
As far as generes being overdone - um - WW2 games anyone? How many Nazis are there to kill? I think we depopulated Germany about 10 times over at the current rate.
re:"Whatever happened to the land of the Free? If you want to gamble your money on-line, why shouldn't you be able to?"
Um - some boat people you sent our way got mixed up into our politics. The one's wearing belt buckles on their heads. Thanks for starting us out with the best and the brightest.
re:" I won't be trusting either industry - and I'll be doing my level best to avoid buying their products, even if that means my not having any movies or music at all."
Which is why they CARE so much about you. Now if you were a current customer....