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Is a brand of adult diapers.

AC would still be better off buying a couple more boxes of Depends.

That's also the answer to 'what does it taste like having oral sex with an 80 year old?': Depends.

I'm buying stock in http://www.depend.com/

That would be a shit load.

Metric or Imperial?

Depends.

Killer name.

Sounds like a combination of Cyberpunk and Depends

Wouldn't a potential bomber be able to smuggle explosive material in a Depends undergarment? From what I've seen of the pictures online, the explosive material might have shown up on a full body scan because the guy was wearing briefs, but it would have been totally missed inside an adult diaper. Considering all the extra security measures imposed (like staying in your seat for last hour of flight), a terrorist could even argue that the Depends undergarment was a preventive measure.

Depends?

Take the checks away from the old ladies and they'll still be wasting the line's time digging through their purse full of change and coupons or arguing with the cashier about being charged 27 cents more because they read the wrong price tag.

Instead ask for an end to bonuses for store managers (and other corporate trough-feeders) as rewards for keeping payrolls low. Then the people in line will have another line to checkout when some tremulous, bitchy old bag cries and moans and makes the cashier call somebody else to go check the warehouse for more Depends. And 40 people won't have to be fistfucked through 2 lines during peak hours.

Surprisingly enough, my experience in retail has taught me that the best, most polite customers are Hispanics and blacks. The worst customers are stinky, filthy Indians and Arabs who will load up shopping carts full of shit and either leave them in the store or toss out items 1 by 1 when they get all the way to the damn check-out line. Asians and Jews are awful because they are pushy, picky assholes with chalkboard-screech voices. I had to deal with a kike schvitzing about how the menorahs in my store were made in China. Cripples are also assholes, but they are that way because God hates assholes and punishes them accordingly. And old people, of course, are always no fun.

An old joke but a good one. "What do you give a movie franchise that can't help shitting all over itself?" Punchline: Depends

The only thing I haven't figured out is the whole bathroom thing.

Hmm, yeah, problem solved

Time to buy stock in Kimberly-Clark!

What should be promoted is widespread knowledge of availability, quality, and price of goods. Advertising doesn't to that (instead it implants false ideas about the above).

It's not that advertising *can not* do those things - it's just that today's marketing tactics do not. There's a big difference.

As a consumer, I don't mind being exposed to subtle, well-placed and well-targeted ads. For example, if I see a nice ad (as in subtle & not obnoxious) for a good deal on a Mac Mini from a new online seller trying to get new customers, I might be interested.

However, I'm not interested in seeing a huge flashing pop-up ad for Depends. Luckily I don't have to see those thanks to AdBlock. (Please note I don't know if Depends actually uses pop-up flash ads, but if they did I still wouldn't want to see them).

The point is, advertising itself does not have to be evil, but it can be used in evil ways. Advertising, used properly, can benefit both the consumer & the producer.

Snipped? Like the Depends coupon you snipped out of the sunday paper? Or sniped, like I just sniped that P out of 'snipped' from the roof of a neighboring sentence?

Still forgetting to click Post Anonymously!

And at the other end, just wear a pair of these fine products and you won't be bound by toilet availability either.

Not really. The elderly often have problems with 'leaks'. Hence the need for a whole line of adult incontinence products.

Gatorade bottle; has a wide mouth. Diapers solve both problems, but that Depends on if you are man/woman enough to wear them.

They also come in handy for late night deathmatch marathons

What's it taste like when you go down on an old lady? Depends...

Ewww... I know, it's an old one. ;)

-T

"That leaves us with expulsion of bodily wastes. Anyone know of a high-quality integrated sofa-crapper unit?"

Here's the standard solution.

Or you could have a little fun.

Might be Stainislaw, it depends.