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So, Hollywood will only make remakes of movies that were good in the first place. Which makes it pretty hard to create a remake that is better than the original.

Hollywood's solution to that is fivefold:

• Adding big special effects
• Adding computer graphics
• Adding well-known actors
• Adding semi-explicit sex
• Adding loud music

All this to make the movie appeal to a "young audience." Unfortunately, the gross of the "young audience" is mainly interested in trash, which Hollywood's fivefold solution will help to emerge.

Here are some movies that should be remade:

• The Fountainhead (1949). This could have been a very good movie, but unfortunately Gary Cooper had no idea how to play Howard Roarke.
• Trapped in Space (1994). A gripping story which is performed by fairly poor actors in an environment of low production values. This one could actually benefit from good special effects.
• The Power (1968). A SF-Thriller-Mystery based on a great book which it manages to totally fuck up by giving it a happy ending, mainly by redoing the last few chapters.

Furthermore, any movie based on one of Philip K. Dick's books could use a remake, that does not shy away from the more philosophical sides of his stories. True, Blade Runner is cool, but losing Mercer and thereby totally ignoring the last three chapters of "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep" were big disappointments for me.

So, Hollywood will only make remakes of movies that were good in the first place. Which makes it pretty hard to create a remake that is better than the original.

Hollywood's solution to that is fivefold:

• Adding big special effects
• Adding computer graphics
• Adding well-known actors
• Adding semi-explicit sex
• Adding loud music

All this to make the movie appeal to a "young audience." Unfortunately, the gross of the "young audience" is mainly interested in trash, which Hollywood's fivefold solution will help to emerge.

Here are some movies that should be remade:

• The Fountainhead (1949). This could have been a very good movie, but unfortunately Gary Cooper had no idea how to play Howard Roarke.
• Trapped in Space (1994). A gripping story which is performed by fairly poor actors in an environment of low production values. This one could actually benefit from good special effects.
• The Power (1968). A SF-Thriller-Mystery based on a great book which it manages to totally fuck up by giving it a happy ending, mainly by redoing the last few chapters.

Furthermore, any movie based on one of Philip K. Dick's books could use a remake, that does not shy away from the more philosophical sides of his stories. True, Blade Runner is cool, but losing Mercer and thereby totally ignoring the last three chapters of "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep" were big disappointments for me.

1992 called, they want their scenario back: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105251/

. . . about how the "Nerds" remake should be followed up with a "Porky's" remake, until I discovered it is in the works, too.

Now I am very afraid to make any more jokes.

One ingredient in the success of the original was the chance to look at pretty, naked college girls.

I saw Revenge of the Nerds II and was amazed that they had left out this essential ingredient. It was actually rated PG-13, not R!

There actually were some clever bits in the original. Like this priceless dialog:

12-year-old genius: I don't want to go to college. I want to play with kids my age!
his mother: You can play with kids your age, when you're older.

Somehow I doubt the new one will be even half as clever as the original. So it had better have twice the sex and nudity, to make up for it.

P.S. You gotta love this bit from the trivia page on IMDB:

When Jeff Kanew was interviewed by the producers, they asked what kind of movie he thought he could make given the material. He responded, "One I would be embarrassed to have my name on." They hired him immediately.

superior movie

War of the Worlds not a remake?

http://imdb.com/title/tt0046534/War of the Worlds (1953)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0407304/War of the Worlds (2005)

I'll admit I've not seen the new one but it looks a lot like a remake to me.
BTW just found this

http://imdb.com/title/tt0077869/Lord of the Rings (1978)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0120737/Lord of the Rings (2001)

War of the Worlds not a remake?

http://imdb.com/title/tt0046534/War of the Worlds (1953)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0407304/War of the Worlds (2005)

I'll admit I've not seen the new one but it looks a lot like a remake to me.
BTW just found this

http://imdb.com/title/tt0077869/Lord of the Rings (1978)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0120737/Lord of the Rings (2001)

War of the Worlds not a remake?

http://imdb.com/title/tt0046534/War of the Worlds (1953)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0407304/War of the Worlds (2005)

I'll admit I've not seen the new one but it looks a lot like a remake to me.
BTW just found this

http://imdb.com/title/tt0077869/Lord of the Rings (1978)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0120737/Lord of the Rings (2001)

War of the Worlds not a remake?

http://imdb.com/title/tt0046534/War of the Worlds (1953)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0407304/War of the Worlds (2005)

I'll admit I've not seen the new one but it looks a lot like a remake to me.
BTW just found this

http://imdb.com/title/tt0077869/Lord of the Rings (1978)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0120737/Lord of the Rings (2001)

No, snakes on a plane is just a variation of Bad ass snake in the house.

What's desperately needed now is an equivalent (not a remake, please!) of Airplane! Aside from being so funny it was dangerous to watch without an asthma inhaler, Airplane! thorough skewered the 70s fad for disaster movies. Which probably had a lot to do with there not being a sequel to the The Swarm, a second sequel to Poseidon Adventure, or a fourth sequel to Airport. For that last one alone, the directors of Airplane! deserve some kind of recognition for their service to humanity!

What's desperately needed now is an equivalent (not a remake, please!) of Airplane! Aside from being so funny it was dangerous to watch without an asthma inhaler, Airplane! thorough skewered the 70s fad for disaster movies. Which probably had a lot to do with there not being a sequel to the The Swarm, a second sequel to Poseidon Adventure, or a fourth sequel to Airport. For that last one alone, the directors of Airplane! deserve some kind of recognition for their service to humanity!

there's nothing new since Odysseus, the Old Testament, the Satyricon, and Shakespeare's body of work.

You clearly are unaware of a movie about "Snakes, on a motherfuckin' plane!"

Only problem is that for every "Snakes on a Plane" there are 10 remakes of crap from the '70s that wasn't even that good the first time.

The computer in David's room is actually an IMSAI 8080. The person who supplied the computer for the film tells how Matthew Broderick saved a shooting day by figuring out a programming sequence for the keyboard on his own after instructions were lost.

Ira

Actually, from what I've heard about it, Superman Returns is basically continuing the story of the movies from the 80's.

Then you might like Clerks II, a Harvey Weinstein Production..

Then you might like Clerks II, a Harvey Weinstein Production..

They already are remaking The Poseidon Adventure: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0409182/

s/Love the Bomb/Enjoy the Ride/

Seriously though, I wonder if they'll even bother releasing this one in the UK.

Don't recall ever seeing the scene you described in Erik the Viking, but one fitting your description appears in The Vikings (1958) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052365/ .

The village witch gives Eric a lodestone compass in the shape of a fish and claims "..it always points to the star that was it's home, the North star..".

For a pretty good Disneyfied version, see National Treasure.

There are more movies called "Dead or alive".

oh how did they miss The Core, internationally popular as the worst sci-fi movie ever? not content with violating several laws of physics, geology and thermodynamics and pure commonsense, this movie had to take a stab at the internet/computers as well. US govt hires master hacker 'Rat' (who nonchalantly unlocks the hero's cellphone for lifetime free minutes by blowing thru a chewing gum foil) to 'control the internet' by 'hacking the planet' and regulating the flow of information! and how can we forget the ending where he connects to the internet and sends (spams) ALL users of internet with an email glorifying the deeds of Virgil's unsung heroes?!

No, the Ark is in a US Government warehouse.

... when digging up ancient stuff in those southeastern regions of Europe. Especially just a little ways further northeast of the alleged pyramid, up in the valleys of the Transylvanian Alps.

It even had a crossover with Simon & Simon "Fly the Alibi Skies" (Whiz Kids "Deadly Access" was first) which may be the only way to see any part of Whiz Kids on DVD (IMDb thinks S&S is coming to DVD in the US, but amazon.com disavows).

As to Albert Ingalls (Matthew Laborteaux), you should see Deadly Friend . Best movie where someone's head gets smashed in with a basketball. Final scene is your typical nonsensical horror movie ending.

He's apparently doing voice acting for animation now.

It even had a crossover with Simon & Simon "Fly the Alibi Skies" (Whiz Kids "Deadly Access" was first) which may be the only way to see any part of Whiz Kids on DVD (IMDb thinks S&S is coming to DVD in the US, but amazon.com disavows).

As to Albert Ingalls (Matthew Laborteaux), you should see Deadly Friend . Best movie where someone's head gets smashed in with a basketball. Final scene is your typical nonsensical horror movie ending.

He's apparently doing voice acting for animation now.

Our discovery of this pyramid was orchestrated by the predators to lure us there so that when they revive the alien queen and she starts laying her eggs, there would be hosts for the face-huggers to implant their eggs. Once a few aliens are running around, down will come some teenage predators looking to pass their manhood ritual by trying to survive an alien hunt in the pyramid. It's all been foretold here. Beware if the predators lose though, they'll blow the whole place up.

Me You and Everyone We Know is a strange little independent film, and not exactly the sort that would be likely to be known by the /. crowd.

But I bring it up because it features a lot of instant messaging, with the characters quite obviously using Gaim, which amused me greatly when I saw it.

This is great to hear. Because, you know... movies based on video games have such a stellar record.

This is great to hear. Because, you know... movies based on video games have such a stellar record.

This is great to hear. Because, you know... movies based on video games have such a stellar record.

This is great to hear. Because, you know... movies based on video games have such a stellar record.

This is great to hear. Because, you know... movies based on video games have such a stellar record.

This is great to hear. Because, you know... movies based on video games have such a stellar record.

This is great to hear. Because, you know... movies based on video games have such a stellar record.

Or that, like in Jumping Jack Flash , after the first association of the text to the voice, the voice was in his head, even altering to be echoing in the war room, though not quite as magical as Terry Dolittle being able to hear Jack's voice when her back was to the screen.

I know that when I was sketching 280x192 pictures on green phosphor screens, I got to the point that those green pixels looked white to me. (Amber monitors never had that effect on me.)

Do you also have the WarGames RTS computer game?

I missed out on getting it and now can't find it anywhere, not even reviews on whether or not it sucked.

I seem to recall something like this in the movie "S1m0ne".

D.O.A contains explicit portrayals of violence; sex; violent sex; sexual violence; clowns and violent scenes of violent excess, which are definitely not suitable for all audiences.

I can't believe it, this is already a B-movie from 1950. You can catch it at the internet archive of movies. I think that D.O.A. for that movie stands for Dead On Arrival though.

I am shocked that Uwe Boll didn't get to direct this sure-to-be masterpiece! Can Corey Yuen live up to my expectations?!

I can't believe it, this is already a B-movie from 1950. You can catch it at the internet archive of movies. I think that D.O.A. for that movie stands for Dead On Arrival though.

I am shocked that Uwe Boll didn't get to direct this sure-to-be masterpiece! Can Corey Yuen live up to my expectations?!

I can't believe it, this is already a B-movie from 1950. You can catch it at the internet archive of movies. I think that D.O.A. for that movie stands for Dead On Arrival though.

I am shocked that Uwe Boll didn't get to direct this sure-to-be masterpiece! Can Corey Yuen live up to my expectations?!

Now don't get me wrong, I loved Independence Day, for the premise, the special effects, and a pretty damned good cast. But was any idea more absurd than Jeff Goldblum hacking into an alien computer system and planting a virus in it to destroy it. Did I miss the part where a crack team of hackers cracked their system and reverse engineered root access and the aliens' virus detection software? Is it possible a race with such militaristic intentions would miss the idea of trying to infect a computer system? It was great product placement for Apple at the time, but please! I find it more plausible to think a guy dresses up like a bat and fights crime.

-Eric

Speaking of stealing the golden arches, this reminds me so much of the movie "Coming to America" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094898/ starring Eddie Murphy/Arsenio Hall. They were working at McDowell's restaurant which did have a golden arch.
http://www.spreadshirt.net/shop.php?op=article&ac= details&article_id=1634806 is a t-shirt to spoof the movie showing the arch.

Maybe some truth in advertising would be funnier.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0099316/

This may be out-of-print, so if you missed the Jaguar ad, you're bummed! I never laughed so hard. The Sony commercial was hilarious, too. If all TV ads were like this, I would pay for cable again.

I don't think I've ever seen a law enforcement show out of the USA where violating due process lead to innocents being screwed over but the reality is it happens all the time (weasel words, I don't know for sure but I'm guessing it's >0).

    Check out The Shield - it's not as good as it could, but it deals with the issue of corruption in the police in a very interesting way.