DOA Coming to the Theater Near You

pamri writes "DOA: Dead or Alive, the movie based on the Dead or Alive video game series is set to be released on August 25. The preview images and the trailer point to a more Charlies Angels 2 type fluff than a serious action movie. The girls are also seem friendlier with each other, in odds with the intense competition in the game." I tell people I bought a 360 for Oblivion. But I really bought it for the ladies of DOA.

Comments

Just What We Need

[Metabolife]

Another hollywood movie with absolutely no substance, and being based off a video game will probably condemn it to begin with. Does the MPAA actually blame pirating for declining sales?

Re:Just What We Need

[mgblst]

Come on, it has got Holly Valance in it... That is a lot of substance right there!

Usually this sort of shit is aimed directly at kids, but you can't probably say that for DOA.

Re:Just What We Need

[earnest murderer]

Another hollywood movie with absolutely no substance, and being based off a video game will probably condemn it to begin with. Does the MPAA actually blame pirating for declining sales?

The MPAA will mutter once in a while that lousy movies might have something to do with it. Apparently their member studio's are unconvinced.

Re:Just What We Need

[sesshomaru]

Indeed... Holly Valance

Re:Just What We Need

[AzsxQuii]

The screen shots depicted could just as easily been taken from any of the soft por title shown on Cinemax these days. Just my thoughts

Re:Just What We Need

[sesshomaru]

Devon Aoki, too...

Dead or Alive Movie Stills

Re:Just What We Need

[ravenshrike]

Hey, Street fighter was quality stuff. Followed closely by Super Mario Bros. Is it just me or is it really, really sad that those are the two best video-game based movies?

Re:Just What We Need

[mumblestheclown]

Actually, you defeat your own "insightful" (cough cough) observation with your use of the word "another." Hollywood has been making fluff movies since forever regardless of the selective-memory / myth of a golden age syndrome you suffer from.

But hell, this is slashdot. If it makes a dig at the MPAA/RIAA and/or justifies piracy, it's "insightful."

Re:Just What We Need

[glassjaw rocks]

I think it's just you. Mortal Kombat turned out way better than either Street Fighter or Super Mario Brothers.

Re:Just What We Need

[capnchicken]

Resident Evil was the best video game movie I've ever seen. But don't get me wrong, I'm still waiting for the Mario Bros. sequel they alluded to at the end of the first one.

Yep, still waiting......

Re:Just What We Need

[Anonymous Coward]

What? Nobody liked the original Mortal Combat? I thought it was leaps and bounds better than Street Fighter. I'm just waiting on the Zelda and Metroid movies to come out.

You can still find the trailer for this film on video google, but from the looks of it, I wouldn't even waste resources on this junk, I'll just pull all the good pictures off the net. No wonder half the websites I visited had the trailer removed due to studio demands.

Also, Holly Valance is not that hot, just another flash in the pan of shallow hollywood.

Re:Just What We Need

[DanHibiki]

Yes, not many are fans of MK it's self but that was the best VG->Movie ever. + were you people dropped on your heads when you were born? Street Fighter the movie good? Come on! Dhalsim was NEVER a scientist, and Honda is NOT Hawaiian!

Re:Just What We Need

[Blakey Rat]

To be fair, the game doesn't have any substance either. (At least not plot-wise.)

Let's see, what exactly happens? There's this kid who gets trained by a drunken guy, and then an old guy, and then there's some kind of ninja meeting on a rope bridge. Then some wrestler dude pushes someone over in front of a casino and so they fight in the street and get hit by cars. Then everyone in the universe goes to the mansion built atop a skyscraper where they fight each other in strange random combinations for moronic reasons. There's something about a Jamaican guy who speaks Japanese human-flying his way up the outside of it, then landing on a heli-pad. Then there's a blue plasma-chick who's really tough to beat and fights about half of the people inside the lab, then the other half atop the heli-pad. Then there's some goofy movie where the chick swims with dolphins but it turns out it's just a dream.

Is that accurate?

Oh, wait, I forgot the Jurassic Park part.

Re:Just What We Need

[CMDR Wolf]

You forgot Lei Fang and Hitomi beating each other senseless over a watermelon. :)

Re:Just What We Need

[somersault]

Actually I thought Tomb Raider 1 was a fun movie. Tomb Raider 2 was crap, it was basically just "hey look at me, I'm Angelina Jolie", but I liked the first. It was out at the cinema around the time I had just completed playing Operation Flashpoint, and I loved the scene where all the special ops stormed her house.. :p

Re:Just What We Need

[lysergic.acid]

ughh....

Why is it that Hollywood refuses to cast any full-blooded asian actresses/actors for the roles of asian characters? Devon Aoki has got to be the whitest looking "japanese" chick I have ever seen. She's only something like 1/5th or 1/4th japanese and has to be dressed up in komonos or other stereotypical japanese garmets to be identified as "oriental". Why not just cast an asian actress who actually looks the part naturally?

The problem with actresses like Devon Aoki is that they have to imitate preconceived hollywood archetypes of "orientalness" in order to portray the ethnic identity of their characters. This means wearing "asian" costumes and really ridiculous and exagerrated make-up--to give them "oriental" shaped eyes, etc. It also means portraying their character in such a way as to emulate (and perpetuate) cultural/ethnic stereotypes--did Aoki have a single spoken line in Sin City? Ofcourse not, she was just supposed to strike silly histrionic poses and look 'cute' and 'oriental'.

It'd be nice to actually see an asian character in a hollywood production portrayed as more than just a cultural/ethnic stereotype. All Devon Aoki characters completely lack emotional depth or any kind of discernible personality the audience can actually identify with. The focus is always on the exoticness, or 'otherness', of the character's ethnic/cultural identity, thus no effort is made to develop the role into anything more than just a flat, one-dimensional prop-character.

It's just plain insulting.

Re:Just What We Need

[Blakey Rat]

Oh yeah. Well, the point is that I played through story mode twice with every character and I still have absolutely NO FARKING CLUE what the hell was going on at any point. So whatever's in this screenplay is fine with me, since it's not like I can complain about it not being faithful to the game.

What did you expect?

[interiot]

Dead or Alive's sole purpose seems to be to outdo Lara Croft for the most inaccurate representations of women in games. Did you really expect the movie version of that to have a whole lot of substance?

Re:What did you expect?

[rovingeyes]

"...the most inaccurate representations of women..."

Its otherwise known as fantasy. Why would I want to pay 10 bucks to see ugly fat women in movies and games?

Re:What did you expect?

[lucabrasi999]

Why would I want to pay 10 bucks to see ugly fat women in movies and games?

Oprah: the Video Game.

Re:What did you expect?

[bmac83]

Substance? Probably somewhere between C and DD.

Re:What did you expect?

[Anonymous Coward]

SHHHH! Some ideas just shouldn't be brought up!

Re:What did you expect?

[Anonymous Coward]

Did you really expect the movie version of that to have a whole lot of substance?

Yes. Yes I did. That substance being silicone (or possibly saline).

Re:What did you expect?

[archen]

An adaptation for film might not be a bad idea on film though. Film makers have been trying to get people to go back to the movie theaters for a while now. DOA has two good reasons to view such a thing, and you're going to need wide screen format to fit them both on the screen at the same time. Maybe this could boost movie attendance? =P

Re:What did you expect?

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, what do you expect from a movie named after the glamourous Pete Burns. One of my mates got arrested with him the other week so their pictures were all across the tabloids (something which doesn't happen with the less well-known capcom game I imagine). That's the sort of glamour we need in a film :-)

Re:What did you expect?

[CaymanIslandCarpedie]

While I agree with your sentiment, I think we often overlook an even larger injustice in gaming and media as a whole. It seems like sole purpose games/movies such as Halo, Alien Swarm, Alien, Preditor, etc, etc, etc is to outdo each other with the most inaccurate representations of alien warriors from the future!

Now I don't want to get on my high horse here and get too PC, but how do you think this will make actual alien warriors from the future feel? The next thing you know they'll all be having to get cosmetic surgury to add fangs, horns, claws to themselves and taking massive doses of steriods to try to live up to the unrealistic standards we are setting for them! That just isn't right people! Comeon, think about the feelings of the alien warriors from the future! After all, they will one day be our new overlords!

Re:What did you expect?

[drinkypoo]

With a guest appearance by Rosie O'Donnell. I had a girlfriend who told me once that I just didn't like her because of homophobia. I had to explain that no, it was just because she was a stupid fat twat... Didn't win me any points there :)

Re:What did you expect?

[interiot]

I didn't really mean the comment to sound very negative (unrealistic bodies are indeed a marvelous thing), it's just that fantasy women and strong plots don't usually coincide in movies. It may very well be a good movie, I don't know, I was just saying that one shouldn't set one's expectations too high when it comes to plot.

Re:What did you expect?

[dubbreak]

One man's plus 5 funny is another womans -1 troll.

Re:What did you expect?

[Anonymous Coward]

Because you want to see yo mama succeed in film and video games?
Oh snap! Burned!

Re:What did you expect?

[syntheros]

Followed by Oprah: The Video Game, The Movie? Further followed by Oprah: The Movie (based on the video game) video game! featuring horrible live-action sprites.

Re:What did you expect?

[Anonymous Coward]

What you would pay 10 bucks to see this crap? I mean there are very few trailers I have not been able to get through. I closed this one after about 10 seconds. I wish Hollywood would stop wasting their money and just send it to me.

Re:What did you expect?

[Anonymous Coward]

What really gets me is the fact that women are always griping about how much their bodies are misrepresented, when the majority of the time the men are as well. We all can't have 1980's Schwarzeneggerian-style bodies. The only rippling muscles the majority of male geekdom can aspire to are the ones that we build in our heads (both of them).

And to stay on topic, no, I don't imagine that this movie will have any substance. They'd probably do as well (or better) to release one based on "Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball".

Re:What did you expect?

[MikeBabcock]

Judge a woman on appearance and you lose.

Judge her on her intelligence and you lose.

How do we win?

Oh nvm, I'm married.

Re:What did you expect?

[rehtonAesoohC]

Well, judging by your handle, I'd say it's because you are a shallow and lecherous individual who doesn't care much for anything deeper than you can penetrate.

Just sayin'...

Re:What did you expect?

[Golias]

No plot!? There's plenty of plot!

The story: Beautiful women fight each other and play volleyball, with some obscure backstory about avenging their masters or rescuing their brothers or something. Oh, and the Chinese Tai Chi Quan girl and the German Karate girl seem to have some kind of lesbian thing going, or at the very least are very, very close friends.

Sure, it's no Tolstoy novel, but it's a hell of a lot more compelling than the plots of any of the three Star Wars prequels.

Re:What did you expect?

[SoCalDissident]

There already is an Oprah game out there, but to my knowledge, no video game. Yet.

Re:What did you expect?

[zuluechopapa]

it could always be worse (not work appropriate).

Re:What did you expect?

[ryusen]

But it's the first arcade game every that had bouncing boobs!

DOA4

[nb caffeine]

was the first game on the 360 that I really wanted. I've been a fan of the series for several years. This movie, however, looks awful. I'm a big Team Ninja fan, big DOA fan, but seriously, Igitaki. Couldn't you just make a CG version with the characters we know? And have it suck less?

Re:DOA4

[Narishma]

You meant Itagaki, right ?

So much for being a big fan...

Re:DOA4

[Anonymous Coward]

Couldn't you just make a CG version with the characters we know? And have it suck less?

He said "suck less". Would that be good or bad? I'm confused.

Re:DOA4

[nb caffeine]

Yes, you sir, are correct. Let me rephrase: I am a big fan of the GAMES. I do not idolize strange rockstarish japanese men. Nor commit the spelling of their names to memory :p

DOA??

[Alterion]

why do film companies choose the worst possible games to make movies out of? doom, resident evil, DOA.. all were horrible games to try and make into a film . A Film game needs to survive without the interactivity off the top of my head something like Spiderman or Starwars rouge-squadron would work well as a movie... ahh i've just realised those are the only 2 decent movie tie in games i can think of.

Re:DOA??

[TheRaven64]

The Command and Conquer series has the potential for a fun film or two. There is a lot of backstory that can be used well. Kane would make a great movie villain and the Tiberium War has the potential to make good use of special effects, for a change.

Re:DOA??

[Alterion]

yes but you just know if you sent a movie studio to look at c&c games they'd pick yuri's revenge to turn into a film.. although that could be good if they got the guys from shawn of the dead to do it i suppose

Re:DOA??

[Anonymous Coward]

The Command and Conquer series has the potential for a fun film or two.

It was hard enough trying to maintain suspension of disbelief in a game setting, never mind a movie. "Okay, we've penetrated to the heart of Moscow, first let's set up a mining operation in Red Square..."

Re:DOA??

[propellerhead_prime]

I agree. Movies based on games always seem to choose the craptacular titles to work from. How about choosing something with some plot to it. I think you could make a great conspiracy/action-thriller out of Deus Ex.

Re:DOA??

[cbelle13013]

I think you forgot to mention the hugely popular Mario Brothers movie... By far my favorite 2:00 TBS Afternoon Movie.

Re:DOA??

[TheRealMindChild]

Movie's like resident evil are the PERFECT games to make movies from. The game revolves around an intricate story, else it would be no fun.

Re:DOA??

[Anonymous Coward]

"Okay, we've penetrated to the heart of Moscow, first let's set up a mining operation in Red Square..."

"A mining Operation?"

"Yes, so we afford to train soldiers. We can't mount the final assault without soldiers!"

"I thought maybe the Government would send us some troops....?"

"They can't afford that with a war on! We'll drill for precious minerals here in Moscow and use the proceeds to train the locals to fight for us."

Re:DOA??

[wo1verin3]

Shake it baby - Tanya

Re:DOA??

[AaronLawrence]

Because lots of dummies will go and see the movie automatically because of the game. "Whoa that was a kick ass game I gotta see the movie".

Doesn't help that a lot of people actively avoid reviews, so they will always be surprised to find another crapfest.

Re:DOA??

[Khyber]

You forgot Final Fantasy : Advent Children. All in all, no other game to movie reproduction (let alone as a follow-up to the original game a couple of years later) has EVER given me chills up and down my spine in the opening scenes. FF:AC is probably one of the ONLY game to movie titles I've actually enjoyed. I fell asleep halfway thru DOOM in the theaters. (That was just because the Rock was that damned boring) and even the sound system they had could dare wake me up for the action scenes.

Re:DOA??

[Murphy(c)]

I realize that everyone has it's own great idea for a game to be turned into a movie. Yet I still feel compeld to illuminate you with my brilliant ideas :)

Monkey Island. Imagine a Monty Python style movie, with very witty British humor behind it.

Larry Laffer. No wait it's already been done, it's called soft-porn.

Day of the Tentacle. Cheesy 50s or 60s horror movie.

And while you are at it making a Doom movie, why not make a Commander Keen movie. Imagine the hero spending a great deal of his time jumping about on a pogo stick

Re:DOA??

[AsbestosRush]

As someone who played the game, and rented the DVD when it hit my local HollyWood Video, I must say that the idea for Advent Children was pretty cool. The execution was really poor, tho. It suffered the same problem Spirits Within did: Overly predictable, with insufficent explanation for major story arcs.

One of the things that I've come to appreciate recently is really good villians. The best way to create good villians is to make them believeable. The X-men series is an *excellent* example of this: Dr X and Magneto both have the same goal of integrating mutants with society. Dr X wants to do this in a peaceful format, educating the public, while Magneto wants to force mutations on the rest of humanity.

Magneto has a noble motivation, it's just that his selected method of execution leaves a bit to be desired. *That's* a great villian.

The "we want to destroy the planet because it destroyed Jenova" just didn't float with me. Too cliched. Just like the money motivator, I find the character concept hard to believe.

Re:DOA??

[Fred_A]

why do film companies choose the worst possible games to make movies out of? doom, resident evil, DOA.. all were horrible games to try and make into a film .

Absolutely. And yet my script for "Pong, The movie" was refused yet again. It's hopeless I tell you.

Re:DOA??

[0racle]

with insufficent explanation for major story arcs.
Advent Children was a sequel made for Squares fans. To provide an explanation as to what's going on would require a whole other movie, or perhaps a RPG from Square.

BTW, did you just call a movie about superheros/villains 'believable?'

Re:DOA??

[cgenman]

A competant group should be able to make a movie "out of" anything.

Great videogame inspired movies have been made before. There was Tron. There was The Matrix. There was Advent Children.

Resident Evil should have been a shoe-in movie, and except for some mediocre acting, bad CG, and dogs covered in ham, it would have been. But the game was clearly based upon the tradition of Romero's zombie movies, like Dawn of the Dead and more modern versions like Dead Alive. And had they pulled form that source, they should have no problem coming up with something interesting.

Same with the Alone in the Dark movie. The game was a story about a person doing paranormal investigations and getting in way over his head. You can go basically anywhere with that, from the X-Files to Constantine and still be within the space of the game.

Game movies aren't bad because games can't be rich source material. Game movies are bad because they're consistently given to bad filmmakers to make.

Re:DOA??

[Khyber]

Ahh, but there's a small difference, there. Magneto, in the original comic from the few that I own, does not ever try to force mutations upon all mankind like they did in the movies to make him seem more sinister. AC kept more to the true form of the storyline.

Re:DOA??

[AsbestosRush]

I said that the villan was believeable, not the movie. One must also take into context the story that the villan is being portrayed in. :)

Re:DOA??

[AsbestosRush]

Not having ever been a fan of the comic book series (but having friends who were), I can claim ignorance to this point. The friends said that the movie did the original story justice, tho.

Scantily-clad Pixels

[digitaldc]

I tell people I bought a 360 for Oblivion. But I really bought it for the ladies of DOA.

When playing DOA, do you use an off-brand joystick?

Re:Scantily-clad Pixels

[Metabolife]

You should try the thrustmaster, it has a moveable head.

Re:Scantily-clad Pixels

[Anonymous Coward]

I tell people I bought a 360 for Oblivion. But I really bought it for the ladies of DOA.

When playing DOA, do you use an off-brand joystick?

Or an off-hand one?



"Get your hands off my joystick!" he shrieked.

Already a Movie

[eldavojohn]

I can't believe it, this is already a B-movie from 1950. You can catch it at the internet archive of movies. I think that D.O.A. for that movie stands for Dead On Arrival though.

I am shocked that Uwe Boll didn't get to direct this sure-to-be masterpiece! Can Corey Yuen live up to my expectations?!

Re:Already a Movie

[tylernt]

Indeed, I highly recommend the 1950 DOA film. It's very dark and "noir", like Max Payne (the game).

Re:Already a Movie

[laing]

Not only that but there was a remake of it in 1988.

Re:Already a Movie

[bufalo_1973]

There are more movies called "Dead or alive".

NO

[Anonymous Coward]

no no no no no no no no no no no

this is one of the worst ideas i've ever heard of. and I would know. listening to bad ideas has been my job for the last 8 years.

Re:NO

[MORTAR_COMBAT!]

quote: this is one of the worst ideas i've ever heard of. and I would know. listening to bad ideas has been my job for the last 8 years.

personal aide to George W Bush?

I really really need to know

[rickmccl]

If there isn't going to be any volleyball, then I am not going to be interested.

Re:I really really need to know

[nb caffeine]

according to the preview images, there is going to be volleyball, though, im not sure what the point would be (other than the obvious:)

Wow, Cory Yuen....

[sesshomaru]

Hmm, doesn't necessarily mean it will be good, or even the next The Heroic Trio , still Cory Yuen's filmography is encouraging:

* DOA: Dead or Alive
* The Transporter
* So Close
* Enter the Eagles
* Hero
* My Father Is a Hero
* High Risk
* The New Legend of Shaolin
* Bodyguard from Beijing
* Fong Sai Yuk
* Saviour of the Soul
* Top Bet
* All for the Winner
* She Shoots Straight
* Dragons Forever
* Righting Wrongs
* Yes, Madam

This is exactly the right kind of a director for a film based on DOA, we may end up with another Mortal Kombat. (I mean really, who didn't like Fong Sai Yuk? I've got it on VCD...)

Re:Wow, Cory Yuen....

[mwvdlee]

Hey, he also made "Hero".

(Although not the succesful Chinese movie by the same name, directed by somebody completely different.)

Re:Wow, Cory Yuen....

[sesshomaru]

It's this one:

Cory Yuen's Hero

It looks like fun, I'll have to see if Sensasian carries it....

Re:Wow, Cory Yuen....

[damsa]

He was also the action director for the Xmen movies. Even if the movie isn't any good, the visuals should be pretty well done.

Re:Wow, Cory Yuen....

[Anonymous Coward]

What's encouraging about that?

I fucking hate Cory Yuen. Have you seen those movies? They're all terrible!

I can *sort of* stand the FONG SAI YUK ones, but the action in them is god-awful. There's something really off about the way Yuen directs that just bugs the fucking shit out of me.

SO CLOSE was just total garbage. Garbage, garbage, garbage. Grrrr. Garbage. How exactly he managed to fuck it up so bad when he had Shu Qi AND Vicky Zhao on board is beyond me. At the very least it should've been a hot chick fest, but he didn't even give us that. Grrr.

Re:Wow, Cory Yuen....

[Xymor]

Wow. Fong Sai Yuk, Hero and Transporter are awesome indeed.

Re:Wow, Cory Yuen....

[sesshomaru]

Well, the review of So Close , which I haven't seen yet, is not encouraging, I'll admit.

On the other hand this is a movie being made from DOA the video game, so director-wise it could have been worse. (Remember, I'm pretty surprised it isn't Uwe Boll directing here...)

Obvious?

[argStyopa]

"The preview images and the trailer point to a more Charlies Angels 2 type fluff than a serious action movie."

+1, obvious.

From the trailer, it starts with:
"They know what they like..."
"They get what they want..."

Hard to believe that's going to be superficial.

I was expecting the boom-shaka-boom porn music to start any moment. I'll have to review it again a few times frame-by-frame to make sure, though.

Sob...

[RyoShin]

I saw a preview for this when I went to see UltraViolet, I think. I didn't even realize it was for Dead or Alive until they said the words. I haven't played the game much, but it looks completely bastardized. Basically, from what I could tell, they're playing up the women as a group of ninjas or something. WTF. Might as well have just adapted DOA: Beach Volleyball or whatever that game was called.

This movie will only do well if someone applies the nude mod.

Re:Sob...

[miskatonic alumnus]

This movie will only do well if someone applies the nude mod.

Hell, wait 'til it comes to DVD so that you can maximize the jiggle with the remote!!!

Ahem

[Rydia]

I present to you, ladies and gentlemen, the reason why no-one takes games (and by extension, gamers) seriously.

Congratulations, DoA-lady-fanciers! You're pathetic.

Re:Ahem

[Gulthek]

A lot of people take movies seriously, yet we have porn.

A lot of people take books seriouly, yet we have smut (or romance) novels.

A lot of people take video games seriously, yet we have DoA.

If anything, videogames have the tamest seedier side of any entertainment medium.

That said, I do enjoy playing Dead or Alive and enjoy looking at the ladies, especially Lei Fang. Although my wife and I prefer Soul Calibur for the better gameplay and better campy material. She likes to ogle Nightmare and play Voldo, I like to ogle Sophitia and play Mitsurugi.

Right now we are playing Dreamfall. I enjoy the attractive main character, while she really digs Reza's (the character's ex boyfriend) voice.

See how the medium can appeal to all? :-)

Re:Ahem

[Gulthek]

Ok. Insert American in front of all of my examples.

Re:Ahem

[jfuredy]

A lot of people take movies seriously, yet we have porn. . . . A lot of people take video games seriously, yet we have DoA.

I don't think he was talking about the "seedier side" of the games as much as the complete garbage side. I think the grandparent's point was that when a movie is made out of a game the general public sees the movie as a reflection on the game. So if the movie is complete and utter tripe, then the general public wonders why "gamers" would even waste their time on something like this. Even the seedy side of games COULD be well done and entertaining.

But it certainly doesn't look like this movie will be. Hopefully I am wrong. . . but I doubt it.

Re:Ahem

[ryulinho]

A lot of people take video games seriously, yet we have DoA.

If anything, videogames have the tamest seedier side of any entertainment medium.

Are you kidding me? You've never played the hardcore sex games that can be found out there. If you're going to compare serious movies to porn, then why not compare games to porn games? But seriously, if you're looking to go see DoA only for the actress's tits, then why not rent some good softcore instead?

Stop supporting the production of terrible movies...

Re:Ahem

[Gulthek]

No, GP said: "Congratulations, DoA-lady-fanciers! You're pathetic."

So, referring specifically to gamers that play DoA and find the CGI characters enticing and calling them pathetic. While I am impressed with your odd logical jujitsu, I have to say that it is misapplied here.

But anyway, you say: "I think the grandparent's point was that when a movie is made out of a game the general public sees the movie as a reflection on the game. So if the movie is complete and utter tripe, then the general public wonders why "gamers" would even waste their time on something like this."

So if the GP is referring to DoA players as pathetic because they are playing a complete garbage (by that I assume you mean awful, not fun, boring, etc.) game; then how would a bad movie not be accurately reflecting that game?

Re:Ahem

[Gulthek]

Yeah, ok. Why don't you look around and compare the prevalance of game porn to movie porn. No seriously. Go into Best Buy or whatever and see if you can find some softcore movies (or any movie that has a topless woman scene). Now go find the game that has something equally raunchy in the same store. Now try and find one game for each movie and see how many games you can find vs. how many movies.

For the dozens and dozens of movies you'll find, there are three videogame titles I can think of that could (at a stretch) fit the bill: Leisure Suit Larry, Playboy: the game, and The Guy Game. Yeah. Videogames are sure at the cutting edge of hardcore.

Look at the quiz on the trailer page:

[suv4x4]

Dead Or Alive Trailer Real Lo
Dead Or Alive Trailer Real Med
Dead Or Alive Trailer Real Hi
Dead Or Alive Trailer Win Lo
Dead Or Alive Trailer Win Med
Dead Or Alive Trailer Win Hi
Dead Or Alive Trailer Qt Lo
Dead Or Alive Trailer Qt Med
Dead Or Alive Trailer QT Hi

I bet picking "Dead or Alive Trailer Real Lo" is the correct answer

Re:Look at the quiz on the trailer page:

[foniksonik]

Depends... I'd imagine there are a lot of college kids who think picking "Dead Or Alive Trailer Real Hi" is pretty damn funny, well after they've taken their morning bong hit that is.... ;-p

Sicko. You disgust me

[SmallFurryCreature]

Volleyball. Geez. What kind of twisted mind wants to see that.

Now Beach volleyball. That would be good. Two on Two action between bouncing eh balls. Yeah it is all about the ball.

Oh and it does seem to be in there. Wonder if there is going to be a nude patch. What do you mean real girls don't come with a nude patch. What are real girls?

Re:Sicko. You disgust me

[drinkypoo]

What do you mean real girls don't come with a nude patch.

Uh, they do. There's actually several patches, but you may have to apply more than one (or more than once) depending on the girl and the patch level. You can identify the patch level by the numbers in the corners, and which dead president is represented in the center of the front side...

Other types of patch can sometimes be acquired at restaurants, bars, and jewelers worldwide.

Pam Anderson

[IflyRC]

Sounds like a cheesey Pam Anderson movie/tv series. Take a bit of "Barbwire","Charlie's Angels", and anything from the 70's jiggle television era and we're there.

Re:Pam Anderson

[Khyber]

Except these girls don't carry Hep-C. ;) So you're more than there, you're safe!

Re:Time spent with games is not spent socializing.

[timster]

Totally. That's what I tell my girlfriend when she's bugging me to play Crystal Chronicles: "I'm sorry, but I need to learn to accept responsibility, so I need to spend my time posting trolls to Slashdot."

Quality

[zepher-109]

Ofcourse i didnt really expect much quality from this based on the game, the game is mere fanservice http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanservice. But they could have at least made it look fun, and not some regurgitated hollywood pap.

Re:Time spent with games is not spent socializing.

[mwvdlee]

How would time spent, bitching on internet forums about other people, count?

Re:Time spent with games is not spent socializing.

[dirkbelig]

The years from 3 to 33 are years when people learn to socialize. For example, that's when people learn to deal with the problems of a sexist society. In the later years, people learn to accept more responsibility and to be managers and other leaders of society. They learn how to know and express their own needs and to think about and satisfy the needs of others at the same time.

People who fill many hours playing games don't spend those same hours learning about themselves and others, and the world.

If this stream of whiny mewling is indicative of what a life spent "socializing" looks like, I say GIVE ME MORE PEOPLE WHO PLAYED VIDEOGAMES INSTEAD OF VISUALLY INSPECTING THEIR COLONS!!!

"Whine whine whine...games are sexist....bitch bitch bitch...we need to sing 'Kumbuyah'...blah-blah-woof-woof..." Spare me.

There's one element it can't not have...

[Chabil Ha']

Bodacious bouncing bosoms defying physics!

I'm not sure which is more shocking...

[stubear]

...that Taco admits to purchasing an XBOX 360 or that he purchased DOA for the XBOX 360.

Homeworld

[512k]

I'm just repeating a comment that I heard here, but I think Homeworld has the potential to be turned into an awsome movie.

If you don't know, it's a space combat sim, but it has a very interesting backstory, about a civilization without a past, that is set up in the manual, and more is revealed throughout the game.

Re:Homeworld

[FuturePastNow]

One can argue that there's already a Homeworld TV show, since Homeworld was heavily influenced by the original Battlestar Galactica series. Of couse, there are many other influences in Homeworld. Yes, it would make a good movie, though it would probably take a trilogy of films to do right.

Re:Homeworld

[bufalo_1973]

Wasn't this Galactica? :)

Homeworld could be a nice trilogy or a serie, but only a movie... remember Wing Commander.

The problem with Homeworld is that everything is space combat and there's nothing more (in the game). And that doesn't work in a good/average movie.

Homeworld: Cataclism could be a better game to choose (IMHO).

Re:Homeworld

[Anonymous Coward]

it'd be cool for the ion frigate battles. one thing about most of the space battles in movies is they're too focussed on fighter battles - star wars, galactica. i mean, there were capital ships but they really weren't too involved - no main guns firing, for example. it'd be really interesting seeing a homeworld-style melee with frigates, battleships, fighters and corvettes mixing it up...

Re:Time spent with games is not spent socializing.

[thundergeek]

I'm only 31.

There's one good video game movie.

[jinxidoru]

Maybe people will disagree with me, put I can name only one good video game based movie. If you like anime and haven't seen Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, do. It's really good.

Re:There's one good video game movie.

[nb caffeine]

I haven't seen every video game based movie, but I'll have to agree. I haven't seen the English Dubbed version yet, just the japanese/english subbed version, but I was a big fan. I've seen it 4 or 5 times. Great film, even if you didn't play ff7 (though it helps)

Re:There's one good video game movie.

[Anonymous Coward]

Final Fantasy Advent Children isn't a great movie, it's nothing but the equivalent of fan service for FF7 fans.

If you haven't played the game, you're just going to be confused, and whether or not you like the movie all depends on what your opinion of the game was.

Re:There's one good video game movie.

[atomicstrawberry]

Japanese animated movies based of games are generally a whole different kettle of fish to the average Hollywood drivel. Another example which comes to mind is Air (http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anim e.php?id=4093)

To be fair though, they churn out a lot of crap as well.

Re:There's one good video game movie.

[Skuld-Chan]

What about wing commander? It was a good movie!

Re:There's one good video game movie.

[jinxidoru]

I truly hate to admit how much I enjoyed Wing Commander. I saw it twice in the movie theatre, by choice (once by myself, for obvious reasons). I am so ashamed.

Wow, this looks like complete shit.

[TheNoxx]

Even for a movie made from a video game, those screens say it all: unbelievably bad. I thought they at least made sure franchise titles went to movies with a decent budget and producer? What the hell is this crap?

This is not going to make it to theaters, folks; even with the god-awful movies in theaters these days, this kind of material is strictly straight-to-dvd quality.

Re:Wow, this looks like complete shit.

[Itanshi]

speaking of anime, its a shame really. in the us, the good stuff (crap) makes it to the big screen and the crap makes i to video in japan they have higher production values for straight to video releases maybe its just that what we make is all around crap hmm, kinda skews my comparrison

Re:Wow, this looks like complete shit.

[Anonymous Coward]

The real icing on the cake is the pic of DOA letters in 3D on a black background, with a lens flare and faded crosshair. The only thing more impressive than that would be a CGI animation of a laser cutting the company's name or logo into a block of something.

Re:Wow, this looks like complete shit.

[pimpimpim]

I thought they at least made sure franchise titles went to movies with a decent budget

You haven't seen the prices they currently ask for swimsuits, do you? Even with a 6-figure budget, you'll won't have much left to pay for the less important things like a script-writer etc.

Doom would have worked if

[speedfreak_5]

They based the movie off the books that Dafydd ab Hugh and Brad Linaweaver wrote. Seriously, I liked the whole 1st-person book thing. If they wanted to drag it out (like many movies nowadays) they could have had one movie for every book. And they wouldn't have had to butcher the story so much.

Not pretending

[El_Smack]

At least it's not a self-proclaimed "Serious Movie" that has the female actresses bare their breasts and shake their asses because "It's Important to the Plot".

It seems more honorable to me to sell the movie with "Hey buddy! Hot chix kicking ass, and you get a couple peeks at the goodies!"

Kinda like the Man Show, no pretentions, no redeeming values. Just girls on trampolines.

Re:Not pretending

[B_Realll]

Hell yeah. Throw in 1 part Skinamax movie and 1 part Bloodsport and I'm there. I love a mindless popcorn flick once in awhile. I find that I actually enjoy them more than the pretentious crap coming out as "good" movies these days.

Here's the links to the actual images...

[Anonymous Coward]

...for those clued up about js.

• doa1
• doa2
• duck
• doa4
• doa5
• doa6
• doa4
• doa3
• doa2
• doa1

What's with the irritating CSS popverts on their 404 page? Will doing #demodiy { display: none !important; } make these morons begin randomizing their CSS identifiers and classnames? Will we be forced to disable CSS in the same way we now disable javascript?

Why not just call it Casablanca

[nightsweat]

DOA was a great B-Movie from 1950 that was remade in 1988 with Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan.

Get an original name. And an original plot.

Re:Pointless submission with at least 5 AD's...

[Anonymous Coward]

You may not know this, but you can actually remove bookmarks for sites that still exist.

Partially agree

[Junta]

I agree DOA is a waste of time to make a movie on, there is next to zero coherent plot, only whatever semblance of a plot could fit quickli between fights. Same with any fighter game, Mortal combat, Street Fighter, etc. Doom's plot was pretty thin to base things off of too. I don't think that movies based on games like Resident Evil would have to suck, that's where you start to get some plot at least.

The key is to find the right balance. There are games with absolutely great stories that take on the order of 4 hours of story telling or more (stripping out gameplay) to convey appropiately. Most of the remainder have maybe 15-20 minutes of plot. In a video game, there isn't much justification for in between.

Re:Partially agree

[KDR_11k]

On the other hand, most story-heavy titles have a story that wouldn't even fit within the length of a movie because a game has roughly 20 hours to tell it. With hundreds of subplots and stuff. I think that if you were to take the story from all DoA titles together you'd have enough story to fit into a movie with a few action scenes included. Of course that'd still be character overload and nobody would want to see that.

Only one Dead or Alive that matters...

[so1omon]

D.O.A contains explicit portrayals of violence; sex; violent sex; sexual violence; clowns and violent scenes of violent excess, which are definitely not suitable for all audiences.

Re:Only one Dead or Alive that matters...

[Loonacy]

I think i'm going to have to see this. One of the IMDB Quotes from the movie:
Quotes:
Psychotic Beggar: I choose you, Pikachu!
[the beggar proceeds to beat the crap out of the policemen]

Re:Only one Dead or Alive that matters...

[Anonymous Coward]

You'd be advised to realise that the REAL D.O.A (i.e, the Takashi Miike one, none of this video game bollocks) has one of the nastiest single scenes I've ever seen in a movie. And also one of the best endings. But really: I warn you. Do not watch this movie unless you can survive seeing a woman drowned in a pool full of her own shit.

I'm not kidding.

Re:Only one Dead or Alive that matters...

[lysergic.acid]

A Takashi Miike classic. He's the guy who also directed Ichi the Killer... a masterpiece of Japanese shock cinema.

D.O.A. is simply awesome. Tons of action, sex, gratuitous violence, and it's got some pretty hilarious moments as well. But be warned, there is jap scat and bestiality portrayed in this film. It's not as bad as Ichi the Killer in most ways, but it's still pretty unsettling. Definitely not for the feint of heart.

If you enjoy D.O.A., I'd also recommend:

Ichi the Killer -- The reason why Takashi Miike is a god amongst shock cinema fans

The Agitator -- Not a shock/gore flick, but a masterpiece nonetheless. I guess I'd describe it as The Godfather set in the Japanese Yakuza underworld (a favorite subject matter of Miike's).

Zebraman -- A film about an unlikely and hilariously absurd superhero.

Oldboy is a pretty awesome Korean movie you might enjoy if you like Ichi the Killer.

Looking better than Silent Hill

[I Like Pudding]

The preview images and the trailer point to a more Charlies Angels 2 type fluff than a serious action movie

Ah, so it will be true to the game, then

Coming?

[macemoneta]

"DOA Coming to the Theater Near You"

Coming? From what I've seen in the theaters, they've been showing nothing but DOA stuff for years.

Re:Hoestly!..

[Flaming Babies]

How many of you clicked on the "preview images" link first?.. I did.. :P

Since that was the only link I clicked,
I suppose that means it was the first by default.

It's ... it's ... Godwinesque.

[Anonymous Coward]

... sing 'Kumbuyah' ...

I'm going to nominate "sing 'Kumbyah'" (or however it's spelled) as a marker for a straw-man intended to justify the writer's continued dick-headedness.

Why can't it be an animated movie?

[Daimando]

Something ether hand drawn or cgi. None of this live action stuff.

Re:Why can't it be an animated movie?

[B_Realll]

Because real>fake(silicon)>fake(animated) boobies.

Re:Time spent with games is not spent socializing.

[Rob the Bold]

I'm only 31.

It's not a stasis device, man. You keep aging while playing games.

Fantastic

[TheRealFixer]

This is great to hear. Because, you know... movies based on video games have such a stellar record.

Re:Fantastic

[Maul]

Funny. I thought the first Mortal Kombat movie actually kicked ass in that b-movie kinda way. Christopher Lambert was pretty entertaining in it. Most of the other video game movies I've seen [i]have been[/i] total crap, though.

Re:There's no good video game movie.

[KDR_11k]

It's not a movie, it's an additional ending cutscene for the game because it makes zero sense if you haven't played that. It was a total waste of time for me. I'd rather watch Mario Brothers, at least that had a plot you could understand. AC was like taking an Arnold Schwarzenegger flick, adding even more CG and removing any plot coherence.

Oh and I've heard the Pokemon movies are supposedly good for what they are trying to be.

DOA

[Anonymous Coward]

how appropriate, this movie should be Dead On Arrival.
 
;-)

The shot heard around the world

[Anonymous Coward]

Also known as fanboys every where simultaneously and spontaneously cuming all over themselves.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Kasumi-chan~~~

[Taulin]

Why is Kasumi wearing pants?! This is just wrong!

Wrong Tag Used . . .

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey, shouldn't this have been posted with a stupid tag, or maybe a . . .

oh yeah, this isn't fark.com.

this movie is

[Anonymous Coward]

dead on arrival

Lame!

[Madpony]

BOOOOOOO!!!

This movie will not make money.

Re:Lame!

[rehtonAesoohC]

... BIES! Yes it will.

Tomb Raider coulda been good

[Cutting_Crew]

but they went completely off the mark of anything thats related to the video game...except that angelina does look similar to lara croft. the only feasible good part of both movies is that in the first one they are in the hidden cave with the shiva that they have to fight. everything else was inaccuarate, poor acting, and horrible looking stage models.

Oprah: the Video Game

[tomzyk]

Yeah, great. Within weeks of THAT game coming out, you KNOW someone will have a "Midge and Gary" patch released. ew.

Charlie's Angels 3: Dead or Alive

[Anonymous Coward]

Best fan-made title for it I've seen.

YES!!!!!

[NetRAVEN5000]

I could go for watching DOA:Extreme Beach Volleyball!

But I thought we were boycotting Tecmo?

[Anonymous Coward]

Did everyone forget

http://games.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/02/10/ 0347222

Lets see, tecmo sues a fan/mod site claiming dmca violations, then says 'oh, we will make it go away, just give us the logs of a few of your users'. And you guys are willing to give them your money. Shame on you.

But no Raul Julia...

[Chris Mattern]

Looking at the stills gave me real Street Fighter II flashbacks...

Chris Mattern

Worm...

[Karyyk]

You know what's sad? This movie would probably twice as entertaining if they had cast Dennis Rodman as Zack. That isn't saying much though...

Waste of time and money.

[digital photo]

The idea of a DOA movie, to me, means a full CG cinematic experience. Ie, the characters should be rendered, not live-actioned. From what I can see of the trailer, it looks alot like crap. Ie, I'd rather go see DOA characters at a cosplay convention. Looks like the movie completely misses the point of what DOA is about, but then again, seems to be par for the course for the game->movie conversions. Message to movie execs: stop screwing it up and you might see better returns. Ways to screw up a moview derived from a game: - throwing out the previously established rules/facts of the game universe being converted into a movie. - get "well known" names to play the part, instead of getting people who actually have a chance of filling the role. - taking too much "artistic license" with the concept... to the point where it has nothing to do with the game other than some look-alikes and using the name-sake. I'd say it was like fanfiction or doujinshi, but that would insult the fanfiction writers and doujinshi writers, who make better use of established cannon. Ways to make a great movie based on a game: - treat it like an indie film... make it real and a true homage to the game and include fanservice! - focus on quality of actors/acting. CG can only do so much. If you have stiff, shallow actors/actresses, you will have CG'd stiff shallow actors/actresses. - TALK to the fans and figure out what does and doesn't work. Talk to ALOT of fans. Talking to just a handful of people is a great way to get a film that fulfills the fantasy of one fan and excludes all others. - REVIEW existing material. Find out what made the game so great, in the first place, that you want to make a movie out of it. - think community interest, as opposed to the best way to make money up front. Long term financial returns will be a strong reward for something done well and encourages repeat viewings or a strong desire for a sequel. Please oh please, someone grab the ear of a movie exec/directory/writer/casting director/etc... and get them to do a game movie right. Talk to gamers, for the love of movie!

I wish Corey Yuen wasnt behind this film...

[Jackie_Chan_Fan]

I love Corey Yuen, been a fan of his HK films for a long time now, and when i saw his name attached to this a year ago, i was just sad :)

This cant possibly be good, and yet Corey is directing it. I hate seeing non martial artists, play martial art roles. It always looks bad.

The only thing that can save this film is Corey Yuen's camera and editing work. Its just too bad the talent involved and the whole "dead or alive" game genre is going to ruin it.

I'm all for hot chicks doing martial arts, and there are plenty of really hot real martial artists out there in asia. There are some really talented girls on the Beijing wushu team that could make an all girl martial art flick really shine with Corey at the helm.

I'll still see this mess sadly, cause i'm an action junkie.

But i recommend everyone see films like Tom Yum Gong, Ong Bag, New Police Story, Drunken Master 2, Once Upon a Time in China 1 and 2, Fist of legend, Shaolin Temple 1, 2 and 3, Hero, Fearless, Police Story 1 and 2, Project A, 1 and 2...

Go see those great films... and witness what a real martial art film is all about.

Hot chicks with natural flexibility != a martial artist.

Re:I wish Corey Yuen wasnt behind this film...

[Jackie_Chan_Fan]

oops realized i typed Ong-Bak as Ong Bag.. dam typo..

No Charlies Angels fans?

[Dahlsim]

So no one here liked the first Charlie's Angels? Didn't think I would but when I finally watched it (DVD) it wasn't bad. Now part 2 I can't vouch for, over the top stupidity, but the first one was decent fun, pretty ladies and make some money for the studio.

They are missing the soul & hart of the DOA ga

[Anonymous Coward]

Well based on pictures relased of this "movie" online, they fail it in the big bounching breasts department!

Unless they are planing to fix it with computer-graphics later, I don't see that trademark DOA gameplay feature anywhere.

ouch! my eyes are burning in pain

[stormen81]

Already the movie sucks..... They should have done a complete CG movie like FF:AC. And they would be able to do all the cool moves of the DOA characters. And have a better storyline, and characters looking like the DOA Characters. My opinion wait for it to come out on DVD and make fun of it while watching it.

Yes, but...

[bufalo_1973]

How long can it last? 10 minutes? 45 as the LOTR battles? I think the better way to use HW for anything that's not a videogame is doing a long TV series, giving time to show those "wonderfull megabattles". But not an endless one. One season for HW and one for HW:C. I think HW2 doesn't needs to be done; it's not different enough from HW.

And about endless series, I hope BSG won't become one. It must end, sooner or later, but making it endless [almost always] drains quality in the scripts. IMHO is better to make some spin off than doing this.