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"This article did not have enough screw sorting in it."
-- screw sorting robot X-43 (much better movie review than that CAP weirdo!)

That's an excellent question, Telstar. For the answer, I must gaze into my magic bong... hmmm... it's coming to me, coming to me... aha! The answer is that I did not have a manly beard! I must have assumed that my macho manly masculinity was apparent even with a clean-shaven face. But I will admit my mistake, and learn from it. In 2004, I can't fail! His name may be Bush but he cannot defeat my "bushy" beard, haha ha! Next time, I won't let him win by a "hair!" A beard hair, get it? Aha haha ha! Hahaha haha haha... oh, man...

Hey, but aren't I? I'm one sexy muthafu -- SHUT YO' MOUF! -- I'm jus' talkin' 'bout Gore! -- We can dig it! Man, and now that I've proven my manly masculine male virility by growing a sexy beard, the ladies can't keep their hands offa this mark-ass thug- uh, I mean, Tipper likes the beard. Testify!

Sorry, I had that Mamet-ize link wrong.

it's probably a joke, but M$ will cash in if ppl listen to this:

Subject: Fwd: Please participate - satellite project

Help me spread the word about this advisory from NASA. On Thursday night at 9 PM Eastern time, a satellite photo of the United States will be taken, showing our nation united.

If you own a PC-compatible laptop, NASA has requested that you purchase Microsoft's new Windows XP operating system and install it onto your computer. The process is simple and should take about an hour. It's Microsoft's best operating system ever and lets you get more out of the Internet!

Take the laptop outside at 9 PM, start up Windows XP, and hold the "Start" screen up to the sky to symbolize our new "start" at coming together and fighting terrorism. Visit microsoft.com for more on how you can eXPerience more!


Pssshhh, is all I can say (thanks to a speech impediment I developed after teasing some rather aggressive Gerbils)

Quite frankly, I'd prefer the version envisioned by Modern Humorist.

I mean, it looks cool and all, and I'd love to try one, but I can't see myself using one to get to work. My feet have been working so far, and this would probably be dangerous. I have visions of "Gingerites" constantly running into old people... The office I work in is next door to a casino, so there's no shortage of those around here.

Although the Xbox isn't featured on this Handy Dandy Chart, I'm sure it doesn't compare next to our beloved geek pasttime.

The Raspberry seems like it can do a helluva lot more than just play MP3s.. Now *THAT*s the ultimate geek toy.

...from Modern Humorist for last year's Halloween.

yup!

This is funny too. MH is a must read for fans of theonion.

Modern Humorists take on it all... http://modernhumorist.com/mh/0101/rings/

Up next, Jon Katz reviews the Dr Seuss classic Fox in Socks while Taco and Hemos tackle the Encyclopedia Brown series. I understand Rob Limo has the inside scoop on the latest in the Curious George books and everyone's favorite censor Michael reports on an Archie Double Digest he got in the checkout line of a Safeway.

here's a funny one...

I love you. By the way, saw your picture the other day. I rated you a 1.0

Cheers,

Like with Napster...

Right. When you pirate MP3s, you're downloading communism.

Sony Music begged them not to release it, but the hardware div didn't give a damn and released it anyways. Sony Music was pretty pissed off of course, but there was nothing they could do about it.

Seen in a Sony Music Canada complex in Toronto: this famous poster.

Irony; this poster was about 20 meters from a trio of computers in the staff cafeteria for browsing.

Greater irony; several people at Sony that day ripped on the record industry for helping to hold back high-end audio formats by demanding "better" encryption (CSS2) and watermarking (for SACD) schemes. Nice job, shitheads.

ObOnTopicComment: If I ever run across a CD that I can't rip into .mp3s/.oggs for my listening pleasure, I will return it to the place I bought it from and get my money back. Simple as that. And if it destroys equipment I own, without any clear, large-print warning about that possibility, there will be liability suits to repay the cost of said equipment. Can you say "class action?" I knew you could!

right here

work, work, work.

How exactly does this translate into value for the end user of such a network of affiliated sites? I'm not trying to be contrary, I just don't think I understand what meaningful advantages are derived at the end-user perspective? Convenience of some sort?

The one area where I something like this at work in my own day-to-day, to my displeasure, is in the Amazon Tip-Jar system.

I don't like going to Andrew Sullivan's site or Modern Humorist's site and seeing, at the top of the page, "Hi there, Smirkleton (insert my real name here)". It bugs me to see my identity is immediately known to these sites by-way-of their using Amazon's TipJar system.

I understand how it benefits affiliated sites, but not how it benefits end-users. Anyone got any insights here?

"When you pirate MP3s,
you're downloading
COMMUNISM!"

As seen in the poster.
I just wish I could still find some good Communisms of movie soundtracks nowadays...

Sincerely,
The Quote Nazi

Actually that quote goes along with a nice propoganda poster seen here (got one of those in my room)

I found this spoof on the camera ad by ModernHumorist.com. I found it to be amazingly similar to the ad and the chocolate on the lady's face is priceless.
----------
If there were gods, how could I bear to be no god?

Right here

Check out First Aid for the Dying Dot-Com for more information on how to revive this technological casualties.
Here's my favorite warning sign of a dying dot-com:
3. Replaces 180 fulltime employees with two interns and a chatterbot.
----------
If there were gods, how could I bear to be no god?

dont forget communist ;)

Not necessary; that's covered automatically by the fact that they're using DeCSS (or some other CSS-decryption algorithm), which immediately makes them Evil Anti-Capitalist Thieving Pirates, just like those damn Napster users...

[this article is Smiley Captioned for the sarcasm-impaired]
--
#/usr/bin/perl
require 6.0;

further clarification

On a prior thread, the subject of plastic.com came up. In my prior and current opinion, plastic.com doesn't have a long-term future as a viable community. It seems, at least to me, that the operating assumptions regarding the generation of meaningful, tangible value- are inherently flawed.

Plastic.com has mistakenly assumed it could replicate the success of Slashdot simply by repurposing the Slashdot message board system for the purposes of broad-minded subjects mostly related to pop culture, pop technology and pop politics. They have failed to realize that Slashdot's success has come through its specialization. The broader the subject matter, the less compelling the appeal to a broader base of people. The narrower the subject matter, the stronger the potential appeal to a smaller base of people. They are failing because they thought if they focused on broad subjects, that all your base would belong to them. But they ain't CATS. They are on their way to destruction. They have no chance to survive, make their time.

Seriously, though- I think most people who read and participate in Slashdot would agree that there is something of a Slashdot POV that is reinforced through the editorials, through the article selection, through much of the posting activity, etc. While you see a lot of variation in the worldviews of participants (agnostics, christians, atheists, relativists, absolutists, humorists, nihilists, etc.)- the community still has several hundred thousand participants who fit the profile one-way-or-another (in short, they understand at some level the Slashdot narrative, and want to participate in and contribute to it).

What is the Plastic.com POV? There isn't one, really. It isn't created BY a certain specialized community FOR a specialized community. It is a created by a conglomerate of differently-minded interests, lacking in a coherent POV, and it feels like it. Oh sure, it has a sort of ironic, detached postmodern perspective- that is reflected in the cheeky commentary here-and-there, but come on- isn't that the standard TONE of almost web-based content sites these days? Salon, Slate, Wired News, etc.? So how original is that?

Now, Plastic.com will have two less sources funnelling a readership towards its community board. No Feed readers, no Suck readers. Who will it continue to receive readers from? Modern Humorist? (who jokingly noted in a recent press release that they were almost out of the seven-figures in venture capital they raised only a year ago, and could be in trouble?) Netslaves? (who repeatedly asks on their own site if they should discontinue the site itself since their purpose has been satisfied and frankly, Netslaves isn't exactly making anyone richer OR happier?) Inside.com? (who at their PEAK had less than 2000 paying subscribers, as noted by Poynter.org a week ago?)

I don't bear Plastic any ill-will, that isn't why I'm bringing this up. I think the concept is flawed and in time, this will be manifest. But I'd be happy to I was wrong about that.

But, backing up, it begs the question- who in the Internet content business is going to survive?

Jim Romenesko's Media News had a link today to a story in which Slate publisher Scott Moore "was kind of funny, drolly knocking down anybody's ideas about what might make a dollar online... He didn't seem to think any known model will sustain a Web-media company. Because his publication is paid for by Bill Gates, he can afford to be pessimistic."

Truth be told, Moore is wrong. We see that at least The Onion has been able to make a ton of money ($2,000,000 in ad revenues alone last year, for their website only). They also have print advertising in their print publication, and several best-selling books they've released, plus "The Onion" radio news (syndicated for indy & college radio stations, mostly), and have made money optioning articles to Miramax for film development (two to date that I know of).

So, there is a hybrid new media / old media company that is making serious money in content. And, most would agree, they are the best at what they do.

Another content company making money online is Fu----company.com. Founder Pud runs the thing pretty much by himself. He's got a book deal with Simon & Schuster, he's got at least $60,000 a month in subscriber revenues to his unedited gossip / rumours database, he's got some banner advertising (prolly not too special revenue wise), and he's got f'dcompany-branded products he sells on his site (I think I read this may bring in over $100,000 this year, but I'd need to double check).

There are other Internet content players who are surviving, generating revenues and even profits. I don't know of ANY that have done so after raising venture capital. Ironically, the sites that raised capital to fund content are the ones who are dying here, there and all over the shop.

I wish I could think of some more Internet content "pureplays" that seem likely to survive, but I can't off the top of my head.

Where was I going with all this? I don't know. But now that I'm here, I think I'll rest and pretend this was where I was intending to head.

Good luck to the content players still out there, still trying to make something work while remaining independent. I feel obligated to say that after reading that 4 corporate players control over HALF of the public's internet browsing needs or some such nonsense.

All of this speculating has got me depressed. Think I'll go read some old USENET articles and think of a simpler time. A time when it looked like Netscape was going to change the world, when it looked like Microsoft had finally been bested, when Amazon was just selling books and it seemed like the people starting companies left-and-right were doing it because they wanted to make a change in something other than their personal worth.

Moronic slogans? You mean like this?

-----

That is an incredibly blantant ripoff. SOME credit should be given to the origonators (AFAIK):
Modern Humorist
MP3 Poster
Yeesh.

------

The folks at Modern Humorist are going to use the money collected to buy a Weber grill for Jeff Bezos, under the assumption that he'll then invite them over for a barbeque. I gave a buck...

Here is an amusing parody of the trailer. Best line: "One shiny ring to rule them all."

Your MP3 image is stolen from Modern Humorist, with the credits zapped.

--xxk

http://www.modernhumorist.com/mh/0011 /mp 3/

I have the communism one hanging over my bed :)
--

Hey, that site's so old it has already been parodied.

That's what pisses me the hell off. Man, I can download entire albums off FTP servers in the time it takes me to download a few songs from users of Napster. If I really wanted to pirate music, I would set up a phat FTP server and start trading leech access with people who had albums I want on their FTP servers.

I use Napster for the singles, and for random singles and b-sides that I wouldn't find anywhere else. This is why Napster has been so successful, and I agree completely that this injunction will severely bruse them.

I know this argument has been rehashed a million times, but if the recording industry wants to charge me $17 or $18 for a CD which includes maybe two songs that I really want, then I'll start finding ways to trade music with people. I guess the RIAA figures that the majority of people don't know enough about the Internet to use FTP or HTTP. Granted, both protocols have "legitimate" uses.

By the way, I don't know where I originally found this poster from the Modern Humorist, but check it out. For those of you too lazy to click on the link, the poster reads "When you pirate MP3s, you're downloading COMMUNISM," and is in the style of a World War era propaganda poster.

Actually, many artist make criminally little money, and it's the record companies that are losing money from lost record sales.

Where they're really hemorrhaging cash, though, is through loss of royalties, which get paid every time a radio station plays a song. This obviously doesn't happen for MP3s.

Check out this slick poster from Modern Humourist!

I found this poster to be rather interesting.

the theists have already got a pretty good search engine...

just ask jeez


FluX
After 16 years, MTV has finally completed its deevolution into the shiny things network

this ModernHumorist episode of 'Encyclopedia Brown - Case of the Missing MP3's' just kills me :))

Thanks, those are great..

Geez, between that, LostBrain, ModernHumorist and others I've spent way too much time laughing this week.

There are three of them at modernhumorist.com. Strangely enough, the original poster had the website name on it. Not giving credit where credit is due isn't really nice.

http://www.modernhumorist.com/propaganda/mp3.html