Slashdot Mirror
Godzilla vs. Mecha-Quickies
Moo-ha-ha. CmdrTaco is on vacation (and sending his e-mail to /dev/null, so please don't even try), so I'm doing Quickies this week. On to the good stuff. DigitalDaedalus wrote in to tell us about the SGI 404 pages. Cute. For those with that not-so-fresh feeling, dodobh wrote in to tell us about the Slashdot Purity Test. No, I won't tell you my score. In the 'ear candy' bin, casret told us that they posted the results of the XMMS plugin contest. Time for some stuff from the 'exploding stuff' bin. Aardappel wrote in about
Fisheye Quake, and Kintanon caught my eye with Fun With Grapes.
Charles Helfenstein told us about the anti-cubicle. Very cool. Fanmail used the force and wrote in about George Lucas In Love. With all the X-Men hype going on, Link wrote in about Mutant Watch. Smurfy cared to share AIEEE, the Acronym Interaction, Expansion and Extrapolation Engine. fwfr told us about the Sim-William Shatner. You'll need Flash.
Last but certainly not least, The Welcome Rain wrote in to tell us about your friend and mine, Robot Frank.
I want the aura. I wonder if i hold the exchange mail server hostage if my boss will get me one... Oh wait, you can't hold it hostage, it never works anyway! Oh well. I guess I'll just have to hold the jetdirect box on our printer hostage. "Gimme that or the printer goes local!" (ppl quivering in their boots) -der saeufer (ich bin besoffen)
Signal 11, what is your opionion on today's quickies?
"Whadda m..."
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR OPINION IS!!!"
I'd heard about the grape trick a few years ago, but the screenshots here are nice.
What happens is that the sliced, somewhat-conducting grape is just about the right size to act as a microwave antenna. Large currents are set up in the grape, which cause the (very thin) junction between the halves to go *poof*.
You could probably enhance this effect by sprinkling the open surfaces with salt to make them more conducting.
Yeah, the SGI 404 pages are real amusing..... until you've gotten about 10 of them trying to find something in that disaster of a site.
;-)
Of course, I'm trying to get a 8 year old IRIS 4D/310 VGX going, so I am used to disappointment.
Laugh while you can, monkey boy!
Because moderators don't know much about what a troll is, it seems. It has to do with baited hooks, not ugly things that live under bridges, unless it's when CmdrTaco posts anonymously. MODERATE MY TEST UP TO SLASHSERF, LUSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a listen to some of the stuff at Fun Sounds, especially this news story about two men and their gerbil...
Point a RealPlayer at /etc geek TV archives and check out Episode 5: Fun with High Voltage Electrical Discharges, demonstrates how to produce ball lightening in your microwave with a flaming toothpick.
The Aura is a return visitor to Slashdot. Rob posted about it a year to a year and a half ago. I remember the photos, although the name "Aura" doesn't sound familiar. Perhaps this is a new model of the same system?
--Jim
The "Lucas in Love" link reminded me.... I'd heard of it a while back on some show (one of those like 'entertainment tonight' which I was watching for some unfathomable reason) and it popped into my head again when I saw TPM and its resultant game.
The show had a brief interview with the person who made "lucas in love", and the person said that he had created the movie as kind of an 'homage' to Lucas and the whole Star Wars franchise.
The question that then occurred to me: Could I extend this idea to games?
The whole Star Wars mythology is full of characters, settings, and an entire ethos - great building blocks for, say, an RPG. None has been made as yet, and - if recent movies are any indication - we're likely to be disappointed if one is. So what if someone created a Star-Wars like game in homage?
Obviously, it can't be called "Star Wars". But how much of the SW franchise is trademarked? Suppose we make something set in a Star Wars universe, that refers to the "force" (A generic enough term, right?) and possibly "Jedi", and then build a story and game around it?
Granted, it might not be an original idea, but many of us are star wars fans, and I know that I, for one, would love to see a well-done game out of it.
-Denor
The Aura looks like it dropped out of a Star Trek episode. Mmmm...I could definitely handle putting in overtime with one of those.
"This message is composed of 100% recycled electrons."
the rude name that the poll called me. I've read way too much /. and Linux source code to be called a Jon Katz wannabe!
If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
I fed that page Perl about a hundred times hoping to get "Pathologically eclectic rubish lister.." ... I didn't come anywhere close... :)
-Ryan Dietrich
-- Java is not a Jedi trait... "do, or do not, there is no try" --
Goddamn I suck.
---------
To hell with you, I never liked you, you are no friend of mine...
Rob, please come back quick! The anti-cubicle? How many times have I seen that here? I can't take any more of these repeated stories! Tell Rob to hurry back from vacation so that we don't have to see old stories reposted here! Er, wait a second...
You pulled it pretty quickly!
There are 10 babies!
Check it out:
http://www.sgi.com/images/404_babies/1.j pg
http://www.sgi.com/images/404_babies/2.jpg
http://www.sgi.com/images/404_babies/3.jpg
http://www.sgi.com/images/404_babies/4.jpg
http://www.sgi.com/images/404_babies/5.jpg
http://www.sgi.com/images/404_babies/6.jpg
http://www.sgi.com/images/404_babies/7.jpg
http://www.sgi.com/images/404_babies/8.jpg
http://www.sgi.com/images/404_babies/9.jpg
http://www.sgi.com/images/404_babies/10.jpg
Who sais I live to make a fool of myself? :p ... Oh and is it me but are 8 and 9 the same?
............ no.
That purity test...called me a Microserf.
A MICROSERF!
Just for that, I'm going to whore the article I submitted last week, but didn't get posted. It's at my website; now to find out if I can see the Slashdot effect in action.
I hope JonKatz comments on it, or I'm going to kill him. And pour hot grits down his pants.
Of course, this article is going to get moderated down, because the moderators always moderate down dissenting viewpoints, right? Especially if they're Microserfs like I supposedly am.:)
...must go customize Slashboxes now...wonder what Slashdot looks like...
Someday, you're going to die. Get over it.
> Here is the result of your Slashdot Purity Test.
:)
;)
Okay, it was a pretty cool test.
> You answered "yes" to 105 of 200 questions, making you 47.5% slashdot pure
> (52.5% slashdot corrupt).
Woah, what do you have to do to get a good score on this thing?!?! I should have lied more...
> According to the scoring guide, your slashdot experience level is: JonKatz Wannabe
Okay. Forget this test. I can't *imagine* a worse insult to a slashdot poster.
(Oh, and I used "No Score +1 Bonus" and "Preview" to post this.
"Gee, I bet I'll get moderated down for this..."
---
pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.
pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.
So cool. Nice idea too. It makes me want to make mine randomize with different themes [grin].
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
I was going to write about how surprisingly slashdot-pure I was (79.5%)...
;-)
...but I think by doing so, I just lost a couple of percentage points of purity.
[TMB]
What a bizarre concept. It's pretty incredible, but bizarre nonetheless. I've heard that Quake and it's predecessor Doom have been at times used to train marines for combat missions (of course, this never came up in the wake of all the Columbine anti-gaming reaction), so I wonder if it would be possible to outfit actual soldiers with some sort of similar technology. If it is possible to adapt to a larger field of view, a headset of some sort could be invaluable not only in the military, but in law enforcement and any other activity where needing to see behind oneself is advantageous. All in all, an interesting idea, if perhaps beyond my own modest gaming ability to master.
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war!
I am amazed at myself. I am probably addicted to /.... but to be a trollish for a moment, I often get upset when i hit reload every 5 minutes and dont see a new article. I miss those Sunday night quickies...
I tried out one of those Aura setups at a friends work once. He works for a state run company, and each employee gets a yearly budget. He didnt replace his workstation for a few years, and bought that thing. Its enormous and he practically lives at work now.
I'd like one for my home office.
On another note, what plugins do you people use for xmms? I haven't been using anything fancy for it.
There is one plugin I would love (and all you Pink Floyd fans should want it too) is a no gap plugin. When one plays The Wall there are not supposed to be any gaps between tracks. It's a common problem for MP3 players to put a gap between tracks... the popular WinAmp for that other OS has a plugin to remove those gaps.
Any plugin coders know how to do this? I dont know the first thing about sound programming... although I dont think it involves sound at all... just some sort of output plugin to prebuffer the next song or something.
- Hugh Buchanan
- Userfriendly.com
instead of Godzilla vs Mecha shouldn't it be Mozilla vs Geeko?
sorry, move along now.
What is your damn problem?
I scored 70%...That qualifies for "Microserf," whatever that means. BTW, is "Jon Katz" really a pseudonym?
;-P
Ohhh yeah i screwed up the #9 link ... kinda easy when you're doing that many links in such a tiny box ;-)
............ no.
It's made by West End Games. Their website is kinda crummy (ok, very crummy), but I found some actual merchandise at Cyberdungeon.com.
Purity test. Bah! Being a /. geezer means I'm always right. I can blather on with the pointless stories about how I remember when there were no 'users' and everyone was anonymous, and when there was no Jon Katz, and no moderation, and when there was, I was in the 1st batch. With age comes wisdom and extreme cynicism, jadedness (is that a word) and outright paranoia (I think SETI@Home is actually Echelon@Home and people are actually scanning a chunk of net traffic for key words.) and discovering that you always make tpyos (and say the more important things inside the parens) rather than outside. Ooo! New article! Gotta go slamdunk some trolls!
Here is the result of your Slashdot Purity Test.
:)
You answered "yes" to 53 of 200 questions, making you 73.5% slashdot pure (26.5% slashdot corrupt).
According to the scoring guide, your slashdot experience level is:
Microserf
Hehe.
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
Oh yeah, why does Microserf sound like Microsoft? hehe.
What are all the rank titles? Anyone got the list?
Thanks.
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
Well...uhhhh...I'm under 50k! That's gotta stand for something!
Let's see...replying to my own post...there's another point for me on the Purity Test. I'll be half-impure in no time.
Karma whorin' for Natalie Portman...
Someday, you're going to die. Get over it.
You forgot my favorite one, smargle buttsex. But seriously, what is your problem?
Hahah, that's funny! I wonder if that really happen to the real George Lucas? ;)
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
Is that you constantly talk about your Karma. Why don't you just create a new account that no one knows your username? Start from scratch. "I'm the poster boy for moderation" blah blah blah. So you found a loophole, who cares? If you want the same account, then just go ahead and ask Rob if he'll delete your Karma. It's like, what if someone found a bug in an ATM and then they always walked around with $100 bills, asking, "Why do people hate me?"
OK, so I'm responsible for the test... you can all boo me!
I'm working to expand the Slashdot Purity test into a 500-question test, but I need suggestions for questions, and some other ratings (yes, I agree, JonKatz wannabe and Microserf are both lame but I couldnt think of anything funnier)
If you have any suggestions email em to me!
________________________________
The flaming toothpick in a microwave actually results in a plasma at the burning tip. There was an article here some time ago. (Too lazy/busy to search)
For another interesting effect, take a power cord, strip the insulation at the end, stick the two ends into a pickled dill and turn on the power. If done properly, you will end up with a nice glowing pickle. Dont do it for too long since it starts burning and stinking up the place.
Do the above at your own risk
This is the way the test works:
You answered "yes" to 0 of 200 questions, making you 100.0% slashdot pure (0.0% slashdot corrupt).
You answered "yes" to 200 of 200 questions, making you 0.0% slashdot pure (100.0% slashdot corrupt).
Dig?
I love O'Flecky's Books. Always straight to the point.
............ no.
Tell me about it!
I answered, like, 93 questions... and I'm still a... "Microserf".
BLECH!!!
(on a side note, though, Q.198 was interesting. "Did you cheat on this test?" Well... no, but then if I click this box, then yes, thereby cheating in the process. That means that I have, so I'd be right. But... wait. That would mean that I hadn't cheated... so... so... so... ummmmmm.
Urk.
Must get back to "Gödel, Escher, Bach".
It's a fine line between trolling and karma-whoring... and I think you just crossed it.
--
- Sean
It's a fine line between trolling and karma-whoring... and I think I just crossed it.
- Sean
{Robot Frank is yet another example of an alarming trend wherein self-loathing robots play clowns to the fears of organic sentients. Robot Frank, Bender, and their ilk should invest some cycles in highlighting the positive influence robots effect every day.}
To know inauthenticity is not the same as being authtentic.
hmm, the bot can get angry, too. Ok, Signey, let us talk a bit. [note to anyone: is it just me, or is this a lot like the poor little rich boy?]
First off, You're being rather bothersome to everyone. I'm getting sick and tired of you. My suggestion would be to clean the slate, and get a new account. Perhaps if you don't just rephrase an "I agree" or something so damnably stupid people just want to beat the crap out of you, your new identity will be appreciated more. Please, just stop with this constant garbage, though.
Sig? nah, don't smoke....
http://www.mutantwatch.com/knowamutant.html
;)
My responses:
Your Name: Rick Casals
Your E-Mail: fleck@linuxmafia.org
I am over 13 years of age
Suspected Mutant's Name: HugeSchlong-X
Suspected Mutant's E-Mail: hugeschlong99@aol.com
The individual in question has a tendency to: spew toxic gasses from multiple orifices
The individual will often: shoot looks that kill
The individual has frequently demonstrated: an affinity for spandex
The following phenomena have occurred in the presence of the individual: increased hormonal response
The individual appears to possess: razor-sharp tongue
When in close proximity to the suspected individual, you sometimes: feel hot and tingly
in a perfect world: the moderator(s) think this is "2: Funny"
............ no.
Regarding fisheye Quake, do any of you out there think we could build our own homebrew flostations using this code...?
Reason is the Path to God - Anon
It should work with red grapes too, or anything else conducting and about the right size and sliced so that it has a thin membrane in the middle of the "antenna".
Fun with Grapes - A case study: II
Last updated March 6, 2000
Author
JDax
Abstract
Per the previous Fun with Grapes - A case study, this study was performed to validate it, as a good little scientist should.
Introduction
No need to do that and become redundant.   Read the one here
Materials Required
- One seedless red grape (genus - ??? does it matter?)
- Microwave-safe plate (I guess it is, I'll know when it explodes)
- Knife (sharp!)
- Microwave oven (umm.. OH!   it's a GE 600W with turntable)
- No parental whuh???
ProcedureWell...   same as here
Observed results (the cool part)
Upon setting said microwave to "HI" for 40 seconds, the first sparks began at exactly 32 seconds in the countdown.   Sproadic on and off sparks were observed until approximately 8 seconds left on the clock when a magnificent FLARE occurred and lasted approximately 2 seconds, followed be a few intermittant sparks until said microwave cycle ended.
Discussion and Conclusions
Cool!   One whole half of the grape was neatly burnt up.   The plate didn't break (at least yet) and the two halves separated approximately 1.5 cm from each other.   Sorry no pictures, my digital camera's battery is dead.
-- Win2k: "It's not so much that it's only 65,000 bugs, it's just that they stopped at 65,535 to prevent an overflow."
STAR (as in hot young actress) WARS
...and a gift. gift?! what gift?!
chapter vi
a story of tender love
natalie portman has returned to her home town of albany new york to rescue her friend, mae ling mak, from the clutches of the vile gangster, naked & petrified guy.
little does natalie know that the evil open source empire, led by esr, has begun construction on a new sendmail daemon even more powerful than the first dreaded sendmail.
once completed, this new daemon will spell certain doom for the natalie portman fan-club, ending their means of sending fan-mail...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
open source man arrives at the development house. workers are scuttling about attempting to look busy.
project leader: open source man, this is an unexpected pleasure. we are honored by your presence.
open source man: you may dispense with the pleasantries, project leader. i am here to put you back on schedule.
project leader: i assure you, open source man, my men are working as fast as they can.
open source man: perhaps i can find new ways to motivate them!
project leader: the new sendmail daemon will be completed on schedule!
open source man: esr does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.
project leader: but he asks the impossible! i need more volunteers!
open source man: then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives here.
project leader: esr is coming here?!
open source man: that is correct, project leader, and he is most displeased with your apparant lack of progress.
project leader: we shall double our efforts!
open source man: i hope so, project leader, for your sake. esr is not as forgiving as i am.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
c3-rms and linus-d2 are walking down the sidewalk in albany new york, headed for the naked & petrified guy's palace.
c3-rms: of course i'm worried. and you should be, too. lando johansen and poor alan cox never returned from this awful place.
linus-d2: chirp, chirp.
c3-rms: don't be so sure. if i told you half the things i've heard about this naked & petrified guy, you'd probably short-circuit.
the two droids approach the gate of the massive palace.
c3-rms: linus, are you sure this is the right place? i better knock, i suppose.
c3-rms knocks on the iron door.
c3-rms: there doesn't seem to be anyone there. let's go back and tell mistress portman.
a small hatch opens in the middle of the door and an aibo head pops out.
aibo head: tnaw uoy od kcuf eht tahw?
c3-rms: goodness gracious me! yug deifirtep & dekan eht ot egassem a evig ot emoc evah ew. smr-3c ma i dna 2d-sunil si siht.
the aibo examines the droids, laughs, then returns to its hole.
c3-rms: i don't think they're going to let us in, linus. we'd better go!
the door opens and linus rushes inside. hesitantly, c3-rms follows.
c3-rms: oh, linus! linus, wait for me!
the giant door slams shut behind the droids. two naked and petrified statue gaurds close in on the droids.
c3-rms: just you deliver mistress portman's message and get us out of here.
out of the darkness, a naked & petrified lacey chabert enters the room.
lacey chabert statue: olleh
c3-rms: oh, my! olleh. we bring a message to your master, the naked & petrified guy.
linus-d2: chirp, beep, chirp.
c3-rms:
lacey shakes her head. lacey holds out her hand toward linus, who chirps in protest as he backs away.
c3-rms: he says that our instructions are to give it only to naked & petrified himself. i'm terribly sorry. i'm afraid he's ever so stubborn about these sorts of things.
lacey motions for the droids to follow her. lacey leads the droids into the naked & petrified guy's throne room. they stand nervously before him.
c3-rms: the message, linus, the message.
a projection of natalie portman beams out from the center of linus' head... the projection speaks...
natalie portman: greetings exalted one. allow me to introduce myself. i am natalie portman, hot young actress and friend to mae ling mak. i know that you are powerful, mighty naked & petrified, and that your lust for mae ling must be equally powerful. i seek an audience with your greatness to bargain for mae ling's life. with your wisdom, i'm sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial and enable us to avoid any unpleasant confrontation. as a token of my goodwill, i present to you a gift: these two droids. both are hardworking and will serve you well.
naked & petrified guy: there will be no bargain! i will not give up my favorite wall decoration. i like mae ling where she is!
the naked and petrified guy points to mae ling mak, naked & petrified and hanging on the wall.
c3-rms: linus, look! it's mae ling! and she's still frozen in carbonite!
the droids are taken away for processing.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
a party is underway in the throne room. larry wall and tom christiansen are topless and chained. the naked & petrified guy holds the chains as the two dance. the naked & petrified guy grows disgusted with the two constantly making sexual advances toward each other. he presses a button on his throne and the two dancers fall into a pit with a giant aibo. the aibo is equipped with a scientifically proven magic petrification ray. the aibo petrifies the two dancers. laughter fills the room full of naked & petrified teen girls.
suddenly, a blast from the hallway interrupts the merriment. a masked figure walks in with a large hairy handcuffed beast.
c3-rms: oh no! alan cox!
naked & petrified guy: at last, we have the mighty alan cox!
the naked & petrified guy motions for c3-rms to come translate. c3-rms complies.
c3-rms: the illustrious naked & petrified guy bids you welcome and will gladly pay you the reward of twenty-five thousand.
bounty hunter: i want fifty thousand. no less.
the naked and petrified guy becomes enraged. he knocks c3-rms back. c3-rms regains his footing.
c3-rms: uh, the mighty naked & petrified guy asks why he must pay fifty thousand.
the bounty hunter holds up a small brown ball.
c3-rms: because he's holding a ball of gnu dung!
naked & petrified guy: this bounty hunter is my kind of scum. fearless and inventive....
c3-rms: the naked & petrified guy offers you the sum of thirty-five and he'll throw in a cute teen girl naked and petrified.
the bounty hunter nods.
c3-rms: he agrees!
the bounty hunter joins in the resumed celebration as alan cox is taken away by a pair of naked and petrified cute teen girls.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
it is dark and quiet in the throne room. all of the cute naked & petrified teen girls are passed out from the drunken festivities. the bounty hunter steps quietly toward the petrified mae ling mak. the bounty hunter flips a switch on one side of mae ling's encasement. the encasement falls to the floor. the bounty hunter pulls a depetrification lever. a bright light shines through the carbonite. mae ling mak's naked body falls out of the shell and onto the floor. the bounty hunter lifts her up. mae ling regains consciousness.
bounty hunter: just relax for a moment. you're free of the carbonite.
mae ling mak: i can't see!
bounty hunter: your eyesight will return in time.
mae ling mak: where am i?
bounty hunter: the naked & petrified guy's palace.
mae ling mak: who are you?
the bounty hunter removes his mask... it's matalie, natalie portman's identical twin sister!
matalie: someone who loves you!
mae ling mak: matalie!
matalie: i gotta get you outta here.
as matalie helps mae ling mak to her feet, a deep cackle booms from a curtain next to them.
mae ling mak: i know that laugh.
the curtain opens to reveal the naked & petrified guy and his cronies, including c3-rms, whose mouth is being covered by lacey chabert, naked and petrified.
mae ling mak: hey, naked and petrified guy, i was just on my way to bring you some cute teen girls, but i got a little sidetracked. it's not my fault!
naked & petrified guy: it's too late for that, mae ling. you may have been a good provider of cute teen girls, but now you're highway pavement!
mae ling mak: look!
naked & petrified guy: take her away!
a couple of naked & petrified cute teen girls grab mae ling mak and drag her off.
mae ling mak: naked & petrified, i'll pay you triple... you're throwing away 24 cute teen girls here. don't be a fool!
mae ling mak is removed from the scene. the naked & petrified guy turns his attentions to matalie.
naked & petrified guy: bring her to me!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
all is dark and quiet in the entranceway to the naked & petrified guy's palace. the main gate raises to let in a bright white light from outside. the silhouetted figure of natalie portman enters the palace. two naked & petrified cute teen girls try to bar natalie's progress. natalie raises her hand and the guards fall back. natalie proceeds on to the naked & petrified guy's throne room. natalie portman enters the throne room and the naked & petrified guy awakes.
natalie portman lifts her skirt as her twin sister watches.
natalie portman: you will bring mae ling mak and alan cox to me.
naked & petrified guy: your sexual powers will not work on me, girl!
natalie portman: nevertheless, i am taking mae ling and her friends. you can either profit by this or be destroyed. it's your choice. but i warn you not to underestimate the powers of my hot young body.
the naked and petrified guy glares at natalie portman smugly. he presses the button to the trapdoor.
naked & petrified guy: there will be no bargain, young actress. i shall enjoy admiring you nude and imobile.
natalie portman falls into the pit with the giant aibo, equipped with the scientifically proven magic petrification ray. the aibo's ray warms up and it begins to fire, but not before natalie pulls a mirror from her purse and holds it up to the aibo. the ray reflects from the mirror and petrifies the aibo.
a naked and petrified cmdr taco and hemos come into the chamber. they are devastated at the loss of the aibo.
the naked & petrified guy is also infuriated.
naked & petrified guy: bring me mak and cox! they will all suffer for this outrage!
several naked & petrified cute teen girls scramble about. mae ling mak, alan cox and natalie portman are brought before the naked & petrified guy. c3-rms translates.
c3-rms: oh dear. his high exaltedness, the great naked & petrified guy, has decreed that you are to be terminated immediately.
mae ling mak: good, i hate long waits.
c3-rms: you will therefore be taken to the dune sea and cast into a pit of hot grits.
mae ling mak: doesn't sound so bad.
c3-rms: there you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as your are slowly digested over a thousand years.
mae ling mak: on second thought, let's pass on that.
natalie portman: you should have bargained, naked & petrified guy. that's the last mistake you'll ever make!
the naked & petrified guy cackles evilly as the prisoners are hearded off.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
at the pit of hot grits, natalie portman, alan cox and mae ling mak are moved into position to be pushed into the pit from a small sail barge. matalie and linus-d2 watch from the naked & petrified guy's larger sail barge.
a naked & petrified cute teen girl moves natalie portman into position. natalie portman nods to lando johansen and linus-d2. they indicate acknowledgement of the signal. natalie is pushed over the plank, but she grabs onto it as she falls and bounces back. at the same moment, linus-d2 ejects a can of mace from a compartment in his head. natalie uses the mace to send various naked & petrified teen girls carreening into the pit of hot grits. the grits bubble in delight.
matalie takes advantage of the chaos. she grabs the chain connecting her to the naked & petrified guy and uses it to strangle him.
lando johansen frees mae ling mak and alan cox, who join natalie portman in the fight. natalie makes her way to the main sail barge, while matalie is freed by linus-d2.
linus-d2 and c3-rms dive into the sand. natalie portman grabs her twin sister and jumps back onto the smaller sail barge with lando johansen, mae ling mak and alan cox after setting off the large petrification ray on the main sail barge.
as the smaller sail barge collects the droids and flies away, the entire large sail barge is petrified and collapses under its own weight.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
open source man and the sendmail project leader kneal at the entranceway of the development shop. esr enters the room.
esr: rise my friend.
open source man and the project leader rise and walk alongside esr.
open source man: the sendmail daemon will be completed on schedule.
esr: you have done well, open source man. and now i sense you wish to continue your quest to open source young natalie portman.
open source man: yes, my master.
esr: patience, my friend. in time she will seek you out. and when she does, you must bring her before me. she has developed nicely. only together can we turn her to the open source side.
open source man: as you wish.
esr: everything is proceeding as i have foreseen.
esr laughes as they walk down the hallway.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
linus-d2 waits outside in the rain. natalie portman is inside a small hut with betty davis.
betty davis: hmmm. that face you make. look i so old to young eyes?
natalie portman: no... of course not.
betty davis: i do, yes, i do! sick have i become. old and weak. when nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not! soon i will rest. yes, forever sleep. earned it i have.
natalie portman: mistress davis, you can't die.
betty davis: strong am i with femininity. but not that strong! twilight is upon me and soon night must fall. that is the way of things... the way of the hot young actress.
natalie portman: but i need your help. i've come back to complete the training.
betty davis: no more training do you require. already know you that which you need.
natalie portman: then i am a hot young actress?
betty davis: ohhhh. not yet. one thing remains: open source man. you must confront open source man. only then a hot young actress will you be. and confront him you will.
natalie portman: mistress davis.... was open source man the president of my fan club?
betty davis: mmmm... rest i need. yes... rest.
natalie portman: betty, i must know.
betty davis: the president of your fan club he was. told you did he?
natalie portman: yes.
betty davis: unexpected this is. and unfortunate.
natalie portman: unfortunate that i know the truth?
betty davis: no. unfortunate that you rushed to face him... that incomplete was your hotness. not ready for a sexual relationship were you. remember, a hot young actress's strength flows from her hot young buttocks. but beware. anger, fear, agression. the open source side are they. once you start down the open source path, forever will it dominate your destiny. consume you it will. natalie... natalie... do not... do not underestimate the powers of esr, or suffer open source man's fate you will. natalie, when gone am i, the last of the hot young actresses will you be. natalie, hotness is strong in your family. pass on what you have learned. natalie... there is... another.... port... port... man.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
YEAH BABY!!! I got a 74.5%!! Now I'm gonna be one 1337 slashdot foo!
Does anyone else think that George Lucas looks like Papa Smurf?
"Help me Obi-/.-Kenobi,your my only hope!" -$
hey, man, what's your damn problem? leave the trolling to the professionals!
i am a professional troll. natalie portman portrays my waif-like apprentice. i have taken her in after her parents were murdered by dea agents.
thank you.
What is your damn problem?
Dude, slashdot is not a BBS.
One of the power ups for the Marathon series by Bungie was a fish-eye distortion. it made trucking through those small corridors *reall* cool. Even better was the Night-Vision power up: you could see in the dark, but everything was done in false colour, purple, yellow, etc. Very cool.
Grr... still waiting for the Marathon -> Unreal conversion.
Pope
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
If you moderate this down as 'Troll', I will complain that it should have been moderated 'Flamebait' thereby increasing your slashdot purity score.
Thank you.
--Shoeboy
Naked & Pancaked Petrified Ninja Natalie Portman?
Ninja Natalie Portman Pancakes Naked & Petrified? Hot Grits!
Ninja Natalie Portman's Hot Pancake Grits
Great idea, jackass.
Grit Pancakes
While SimShatner is one of the most entertaining things I've EVER seen on the web, it seems to me it was posted to /. about a year ago...
...was my score.
I put mine in there (geoff) and got:
Global Enhanced Optical Font File
I never knew my name could sound so professional!
---
http://www.spiderinteractive.net
Lessee here...last time I looked, Solaris & HP/UX at work, and Linux x86 and (mostly) axp at home.
I don't think so....
Was it Tim that said 63000 bugs should be found in a rain forest?
-- Anonymous_Troll@microsoft.com
PS: I'm just trying to up my 76.5% Slashdot Purity into the 90th percentile!
Wow, it says I'm a JonKatz wannabe. How'd they know? I mean...
*insert 10k of redundant drivel here*
:)
So far I've gotten all my Karma from telling people they are wrong... :)
AIEEE is *SO* cool! It finally reveals the most hidden secret which CmdrTaco and Hemos have, that Slashdot stands for:
Small Linear Asymmetric Systems Hardware Direct Output Technology
you have to read his next one...
The Mind's I
not as techie as GEB, but makes you think that you are starting to get it, then you (on a hight level) think that you dont, mean while you realize that you dont like reply's that never get to the point and that dont know what a sentence is...
nmarshall
#include "standard_disclaimer.h"
R.U. SIRIUS: THE ONLY POSSIBLE RESPONSE
nmarshall
The law is that which it boldly asserted and plausibly maintained..
--Colonel Burr 1783
I didn't authorize a vaction who the hell signed off on this did any of you? I want names heads will roll. He better be back in bright and early tomorrow, Damit I have deadlines. Now if you need to get a hold of me I'll be on the back nine taking care of my iron defiency.
1) FIRST POST!!!!! -- +1 or 2
OOPS, looks like i missed it by by a few
Ah well, FIRST POSTERS ARE LAME ASSES!! -- +2
2)JonKatz is a FAG!!! -- +1 or 2
I'm going to burn down his house +1
3)Now I'm going to use the VERY (hehe italics are +1) acurate slashdot poles to right a sientific paper, and solve world hunger with their valuable data. -- +4
5)Okay, next I'm going to make an atempt at creating a table in this post. -- +1
And trust me, I'll be VERY suprised when it doesnt work -- +1
6)Hmmm, what else can I do... well I guess I could run around my neighborhood naked yelling "Slashdot is a gift from Allah!" Thats not on the test, but it should give me at least +3 random effort points.
7)I guess that is it... wait if I just select yes to all the fields anyways, then I could also get +1 for the "did you cheat on this test" field!
DONE!after previewing this about 12 times and still leaving in a bunch of mistakes (+3) I think I should do okay next time I take the slashdot purity test. :-)
WAR IS PEACE, FREEDOM IS SLAVERY, IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH. The Party - 1984
I'm not sure if my favourite combination was Scotty-Fondle-Enterprise or Scotty-Fondle-Clingons, both work for me.
Patrick Michaud, the Researcher responsible for the grape experiment, has also performed ground-breaking Pop-Tart research. Check it out at:
Strawberry Pop-Tart Blow-Torches
<sigh>
'K so about 20 seconds ago I was clicking through those pictures looking at each one and a kid walks by my room, stops, comes in and says "are you looking at kiddie porn?"
I had to explain it all to him, starting by telling him what a 404 message is.
--
grappler
Vidi, Vici, Veni
Cmdr Taco: Common Modular Disk Router Turbo Array Client Object
Hemos: Hierarchical Equipment Multi-Overlay Software
Emmett: Electronic Media Multi-Enhanced Text Terminal
JonKatz: Joint Overlay Node Known Asymmetric Technology Zone
Rob Malda: Recording Option Bus Multi-Architecture Logical Desktop Array
Jeff Bates: Journalling Engine Floppy Format Bidirectional Asynchronous Technology Equipment Software
Any others? It kicks back a new one every time...
Fuck I need a F.U.C.K!
My S.H.I.T.'s a piece of shit!
(and this is completely ON TOPIC!!!)
Try an AOL CD in the nuker for about 5 seconds. It's like freezing lightning.
DataSquid.net, a little about me.
Excuse me? Advocating Perl, the language this site is written in, does not count for a point?
Gee whiz, perhaps honestly answering questions like that is why I am an "Average Geek"...
Cheers,
Ben
My usual seat in the cluetrain is at A HREF="http://pub4.ezboard.com/biwethey.ht
ok then your [sic] infringing on my copyright! Could you as [sic] me next time before STEALING my comments for your own?
You know, even though the page is cute, you have to feel bad for the SGI Site's Webmaster. One of my jobs everymorning is to scan the logs of my company's web server looking for unusual amounts of errors. They have to be getting a record number of 404 hits right now.
Each question is scored in the exact same way, which is fairly absurd because test writers don't necessarily seem to take that into account.
I have taken a bunch of purity tests that score, equally, "have you ever kissed a person of the opposite sex" and "have you ever had oral sex with a mammal of the same gender in a vehicle weighing over 5000 lbs." Surely the latter is more should be weighed more severely.
Indeed, why are questions like "Do you have access to Slashdot's ``high-priority'' submission queue" (156) and "Do you know Slashdot's URL?"(1) weighed equally?
The purity test is extremely biased. In order to score 100% your native language cannot be english among other things.
Ninja Natalie
Petrified pancakes down her pants?
Hot hot hot hot grits!
Actually, his style is quite mediocre. He doesn't form a very tight seal, he uses his tongue in all the wrong ways, and there's altogether too much teeth! He needs to wrap his upper lip over the top of his front teeth and that would make things a lot better, or at least less painful. That's JMHO anyway.
I appreciate you wanted to spread the word of my all-around sexual prowess, though I prefer women. Thanks!
--Emmett
Also, check out #slashdot on irc.openprojects.net
--Emmett
Also, check out #slashdot on irc.openprojects.net
LOL emmett, I like you. you take the trolls and rather than ranting about how evil they are. make them funnier. after all - trolls are meant to be funny.
Strawberry pop tarts will combust and jet out flames if left in the toaster for too long. Really. Check it out.
Dear my! What are those things coming out of her nose?
Spaceballs!
Robot Frank is great.
My first thought was, "Is this like TV's Frank?"
But it's even better.
I want to get pics of my ass being kicked by Robot Frank.
I have a friend who likes to do stuff like that. The pickle lit up like an incandescent bulb.
He also likes to make fireballs with his stove. Here's how to do it:
---
Zardoz has spoken!
Oper on the Nightstar
DEDICATED TO LACEY CHABERT AND NATALIE PORTMAN
Natalie Portman
First, she takes off her pants, then
I turn her to stone!
Natalie is stone!
Now she is my statue friend.
But the chaffing hurts.
Lacey Chabert's hot
Cripes, I've been arrested for
Statuetory rape
"Lacey, turn to stone!"
That is what I said to her
Now she is my rock
Chabert and Portman
As they kiss I transform them
I have two statues
You answered "yes" to 43 of 200 questions, making you 78.5% slashdot pure (21.5% slashdot corrupt).
According to the scoring guide, your slashdot experience level is: Microserf
Man, I was expecting a higher score for having visited Slashdot many times per day for a couple of years now, but I guess 21.5% is a start. Perhaps pouring bowls of hot grits down my pants will improve my score.
Where does that question appear for you?
I can't seem to find where to do meta-moderation anywhere, although I have a vague recollection of a question "Have you meta-moderated today?".
No idea where it was though, and I can't find it now. From reading some of the info on meta-moderation, it seems if you're eligible to moderate, you're eligible to meta-moderate. I've moderated in the past, but just can't for the life of me work out how to meta-moderate.
B.
Signal Eleven Pouring hot grits down his pants Naked, Petrified.
This on a web page not updated since November 1998 is NOT an encouraging sign.
There is no way that I could only be an average geek... :P This test is rigged... I'm going to go back an cheat now to get the answer I should have gotten the first time... Hey, now that will actually increase my score without cheating... what an interesting paradox.
Time flies like an arrow;
Time flies like an arrow;
Fruit flies like a bananna
Here is the result of your Slashdot Purity Test.
You answered "yes" to 129 of 200 questions, making you 35.5% slashdot pure (64.5% slashdot corrupt).
According to the scoring guide, your slashdot experience level is: Slashdot Addict
I had to post this, (to get the last point!)
* "Uncle this droid is malfunctioning" -- Luke Skywalker
but honestly, if you don't like his posts DON'T READ THEM
You are not me, therefore you are not important
Practical Universal Systems Sequence Yield PUSSY
Static Equipment eXtension SEX
Small Compact Recording Erasable Web User SCREWU
Hard Environment Logic Language HELL
Compressed Unified Number Technology CUNT
got to love it.
And I've submitted him to Mutant-Watch. I'd hate to see him hook up with Prof-X and those other mutants and ruin society as we know it. I recommend that we all take Hemos' stories with a grain of salt now that we know that he is a dirty mutant.
/. you all look to be mutants or at least sympathizers. I'm going to be up all night reporting every one of you.
Actually, looking at the comments posted on
"Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality." -- Dalai Lama
Ok. Here goes. Right click on xmms. Options. Preferences, Options. [x] Pause between songs . Done
It's been called the aura all along. You might have heard of it it, as I have, as FOOD though, which is obviously an acronym for Fuckinexpensive Object of Our Desire
I'm 79.5% Pure, 20.5% ./ Corrupt..
./ Pure...)
The shame!
(I'd hoped to be at least 90%
cheers,
Tim
Small Environment eXtension
I'm purely insulted!
Here is the result of your Slashdot Purity Test.
You answered "yes" to 62 of 200 questions, making you 69.0% slashdot pure (31.0% slashdot corrupt).
According to the scoring guide, your slashdot experience level is: JonKatz Wannabe
All I gotta say is I'm user #886 and was one of the first moderators. So WTF is with that score?
Then again, I like JonKatz's stuff, even if I think he's misguided sometimes.
Since IIRC 1987
--
Pretend there is some witty statement here.
The Slashdot Purity Test suffers from some of the same minor flaws as the Hacker Purity Test from which it appears to draw its inspiration. Some of the questions that garner points should be turned around, such as:
...and later wish you remembered?
123. Did you check your user info page to answer the above question?
I would have worded that, "Did you know your Karma without checking because you've looked at your User page in the past hour?"
Some of the other questions contradict each other. For example:
64. Do you ever forget to use the Preview button?
65.
66. Have you ever previewed your post several times to get it ``just right''?
67. Do you think previewing is for weenies?
While it is a bit rough around the edges and should be labeled Version 0.1, it has potential, and it shows some understanding of the dynamics of Slashdot.
Oh, and it looks like it is being "used to gather demographic information".
The net will not be what we demand, but what we make it. Build it well.
The Slashdot Code is a measure of how much of a Slashdot Geek/Addict you
really are. It should not be confused with the Slash Code which is the Perl code
that runs the Slashdot web site.
Reading
To be considered a serious Slashdot Geek, there is no other requirement
more important than actually reading the site. Okay, you don't have to read
it but you should visit it often.
r++++
All of r+++ and more. I can give a good guess as to when the editors
sleep and schedule my life so that I am never away from Slashdot at any
other time. I have bookmarks to all of the static pages on the site.
r+++
Slashdot is my home page. I never
leave it except to follow links from stories there or to find material to
post. I compulsively click the Reload button to see if there are
new stories.
r++
I visit Slashdot several times a day. I read the summary of every
article. I have it bookmarked.
r+
I visit Slashdot at least once a day. I don't want a single article to
disappear off the main page before I've read it.
r
I visit Slashdot occasionally. It's one of a number of sources I use
for my news.
r-
Been there. Wasn't impressed.
r--
I read it once, but I didn't understand what everyone was talking
about.
r---
Slash what?
Posting comments
To be a member of the Slashdot community, you need to actually
participate. One of the easiest ways to do that is to post comments about
articles, since you don't even have to have an account.
c++++
I haven't missed a chance to post a comment on a single article since
the last power outage.
c+++
I post at least a few comment a day, certainly enough to keep my user
page up to 50 comments in the past few weeks.
c++
I comment on most articles. Any time something catches my interest or I
know of a related web site.
c+
I have a user account, mostly so that when I do occasionally comment I
start at a score of 1 and I can find replies more easily.
c
I comment occasionally, but not enough that I have bothered to get an
account. Anonymous Coward is good enough.
c-
I've commented a couple of times.
c--
I have never commented.
c---
I am a Troll.
Karma
Part of how Slashdot works is through Karma and scoring, which are
intimately intertwined. Any Slashdotter should at least have an opinion about
Karma.
K++++
I have read the Slash code looking for the things other than "mostly
the sum of moderation done to users comments" that can raise my
Karma. I believe I have the complete list.
K+++
In addition to everything in K+++, I have found several ways to get my
articles moderated up that weren't mentioned in 10 tips for improving
your Karma.
K++
I check my Karma daily and deliberately seek ways to improve it. I have
read 10 tips for improving your Karma.
K+
I have enough Karma to get the automatic +1 bonus to my score.
K
I have a user account. I have a single digit Karma because I don't post
much.
K-
I don't know, or care what my Karma is.
K--
I am an Anonymous Coward.
K---
I am a Troll.
User account
Obviously, for posting and Karmic purposes, having a user account is
essential. There are certain subtleties to that that should not be
overlooked.
U++++
I tweak the customization of my user account roughly once a week. My
PGP key is on my user page. I change my sig frequently.
U+++
I have customized my whole Slashdot experience.
U++
I use my user page as a convenient way to find all of my recent comments
and check for replies to them. I go there once a day.
U+
I have visited my user page and tweaked a couple of things.
U
I have a User account on Slashdot. I haven't done anything with
it.
U-
I had a User account on Slashdot. I haven't logged in for so long that
I have forgotten the password.
U--
I am an Anonymous Coward
Submitting articles
Submitting articles is a part of the Slashdot experience as well.
S++++
I am a Slashdot editor.
S+++
I submit often enough that I could be considered a regular
columnist. At least at Jon Katz frequency.
S++
I notice changes in the wording of the rejection notice.
S+
I've submitted articles often enough that I know how to check the status
of the ones I've submitted.
S
I've submitted an article or two. They were rejected.
S-
I have never submitted an article.
The net will not be what we demand, but what we make it. Build it well.
But the most blatant failure of the sw that I know is that some substitute teacher got in trouble for looking at pr0n...on playboy.com!! Seems like they'd block that of all things!
Bess can go up my $*#* for all I care...
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
I noticed that my score was 82 out 200 which is 59% pure and 41% slashdotted. My Karma is also exactly 41 at this time, so my question is how closely correlated is one's Karma with their percentage that is no longer pure?
This would be an interesting statistic to track.
Also, I have always been confused by the Karma Whore term. Am I a Karma Whore for using my +1 bonus points, and therefore getting a higher placement of my post, or am I a whore when I choose no +1 bonus, therefore encouraging moderators who detect the inherent quality of my post to moderate it up which increases my Karma? Or simply, are Karma whores being paid in higher Karma or in a higher default score for the current post?
43.5% slashdot pure (56.5% slashdot corrupt).
According to the scoring guide, your slashdot experience level is: Average Geek
That Grape story has already be posted on a SlashDot Quickie! About 6 to 12 months around it was up on here, I think someone is smoking to much dope at the geek compound. If they start posting stories about food then we know they are puffing on the wacking weed over there. I think we need a web cam that is focused on the slashdot crews eyes.
Think about it, a geek is only 1 step away from turning into the college dope head, geeks sit in front of computers 18 hours a day while pothead sit in front of TV for 18 hours a day. Take away a geek's keyboard and hand him a bong and it is all over.
I would like a slashdot poll that rates which drugs geeks use, I am clean (for the record, you know the FBI monitors slashdot post), but was wondering "Ask Slash: Can LSD enhance AI programming in LISP?"
"`Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.'" -THHGTTG
So if you check the +1 box to deactivate it because you think this post will give you karma points and want to have the extra one then you are karma whoring, if you keep the extra point because you want it to have a head start to be seen by moderators so he can go further up then you are karma whoring too, but differently.
You may ask yourself how other people make to distinguish the two and distinguish it from not using the bonus because you think it is unfair or using it because you have something relevant to say and hope this will help people to have more insight, well the response is: they don't they just call you a karma whore in function of how you appear to them, not in function of whether you are one or not.
"The obvious mathematical breakthrough would be development of an easy way to factor large prime numbers." Bill Gates,
Your dead meat man! To kill you I will pour Hot Flaming Grapes down your pants and petrify SGI's $04's baby's to a dark lord named Quake and using the paganist symbol of a Fisheye and having Jon Katz's articles as a Bible.
Hum, I guess I should be treatening Katz, not you if I want to gain more /. purity percents and be a:
."The obvious mathematical breakthrough would be development of an easy way to factor large prime numbers." Bill Gates,
The image is projected on the outside of the dome (toward the viewers face - ie, from the front). The dome is transparent enough to see the image on the other side, while still being opaque enough to not blind the user (from the projection bulb light).
The site has info on how all of this works - in fact, at one time (about a year or so ago), the site was a real kludge - it had a picture of one of the prototypes, with the chair in front of a ladder holding the projector up in the air. The whole setup looked like it was inside an apartment or house.
The surface is far enough away - your eyes start to lose the ability to focus on objects at about 3 inches from your face (your eyes can turn inward, but prolonged viewing like this causes eyestrain and headaches). From what I have seen on the site, the inner surface of the dome is about a foot away, more than enough room. I would imagine the image (in FOV terms) looks similar or better than what an astronaut sees out his helmet visor (I am only saying this because of the way the system works, and that the guy got a grant from NASA for potential astronaut training uses of the device).
One other cool thing - the chair is a "zero-force" chair. In other words, it is contoured to support your body in the position your body would assume in zero-g, when relaxed. When in a chair like this, you feel very little of the chair supporting you - it is very comfortable (the chair you lay in at the dentist is very similar - in fact, such a chair, bought used, might be a good starting point for a homebrew version of this system). With the chair out of the way, and the dome providing near-full to full immersion, and the sound system blocking ambient noise, I would imagine it feels like you are a floating "mind" entity, bringing the immersion level way, waaay up!
I guess you could say this guy already did the homebrew thing, and is now going for making money on it. I am just interested in replicating what he did - because I can't afford the thousands he is asking for a chair...
Reason is the Path to God - Anon
I don't know if it's my tired school network or theirs, but the page, the student directory homepage, and the base URL all refuse to load for me...however you can always try here :-)
m ucc.edu/~pmichaud/grape/
http://www.google.com/search?q=cache:www.sci.ta
(you may have to do some URL surgery of course). Number one link for the terms "grape" and "microwave" too...
mcrandello@my-deja.com
rschaar{at}pegasus.cc.ucf.edu if it's important.