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Yet Unuzeer Internet Treckeeng Ixplueet
Um de hur de hur de hur. Ununymuoos in Indy vreetes: "Su yuoo'fe-a shoot ooffff yuoor cuukeees,
blucked thuse-a bunner-ed seetes, und instelled Joonkbooster. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Feeleeng secoore-a in yuoor ununymeety? Vell,
Merteen Puul et Leenooxcere-a Oostreleea knoos a vey zeey cun steell treck yuoo vhee yuoo soorff: By useeng zee HTTP ceche-a-cuntrul heeder.
Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! It's fer mure-a defeeuoos thun cuukeees, und mure-a deefffficoolt tu bluck, tuu. Hees erteecle-a Zee Meunteeme-a
Ixplueet veell geefe-a yuoo a descreepshun und a demunstreshun." Es a bunoos, Merteen's vreeting is foonny und cleer. Hurty flurty schnipp
schnipp! Velcume-a tu Stunderd Perunueea Teeme-a.
uh theenk three eepril feewls jukes eez enuf.
can we have this in english please?
...dat massah Timothy eesa waitin' fer deesa Phantom Menace toosa come oot onsa video tape.
What the hell is this guys? As if hemos's earlier pidgin post wasn't enfuriating enough, now Timothy has gotta get in on the act too??
what the hell?
Come on, Tinkler, Tink!!
It's my physics TA!
LDAA #$80 BITA 0x40 BNE END
Are we going to have to deal with this all day? I know you're editors, but it really seems to seem a bit unoriginal and quite annoying after the first April Fools post.
DON'T be a "First Post" troll!
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Am I the only one who thinks Microsoft is a misnomer? Perhaps Macrosoft would be a better fit?
I know this is offtopic, but Slashdot readers have a right to know, and they're sure as hell not going to post it on the front page.
Maybe some of you have heard about the legal battle brewing between Andover.net (slashdot's corporate parent) and Advogato. Well, today the shit hit the fan - Andover filed an injunction to shut the site down. The full story is on PRNewswire. I'm pissed and I'm going to fight this, but I don't have the resources for a protracted legal battle.
Thanks to everybody who's sent me letters of support.
LILO boot: linux init=/usr/bin/emacs
Well.. Incase any of you are interested, here's the German to English Babelfish Translation
Around de hur de hur de hur. Ununymuoos in Indy of vreetes: " Su yuoo'fe a shoot ooffff yuoor cuukeees, blucked thuse a bunner OD seetes, and instelled Joonkbooster. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Feeleeng secoore a in yuoor ununymeety? Vell, Merteen Puul et Leenooxcere a Oostreleea knoos a vey zeey cun steell treck yuoo vhee yuoo soorff: By useeng zee HTTP ceche a cuntrul more heeder. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! It's of fer mure a defeeuoos thun cuukeees, and mure a deefffficoolt do bluck, tuu. Hees erteecle a Zee Meunteeme a Ixplueet veell geefe a yuoo a descreepshun and a demunstreshun. " It a bunoos, Merteen's vreeting is foonny and more cleer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Velcume a do grant-ground Perunueea Teeme a
The User Friendly/Segfault scam was amusing, this year's /. jokes are terrible. I'm officially "complaining about lack of options," just in case there's ever a poll.
---sig---
For those not fluent in Swedish Chef speak:
Yet Another Internet Tracking Explot.
So you've shut off your cookies, blocked those banner ads (...?), and installed JunkBuster. Feeling secure in your anonymity? Well, Martin Paul at Linuxcare... etc.
I urge you all to spread the word about this heinous tripe, and to boycott this site and all andover holdings until they stop trying to sue the competition out of existence.
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There is no K5 cabal.
I am not the real rusty.
Now this is News for Nerds, Stuff that matters!
See you, space cowboy...
Slashdot is a news portal for geeks. Slashdot's mission is to post links to relevant news around the net. Slashdot's primary mission is to spread information.
Posts such as this, masking news in some twisted, somewhat racially slurred (it can be read into it), is violating a primary rule of communication: Communicate, damnit, or shutup. (Specifically it violates Paul Grice's {philosopher} Rule of Manner:)
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Am I the only one who thinks Microsoft is a misnomer? Perhaps Macrosoft would be a better fit?
Ok.....time for you slashdot guys to take a vaction....honestly, you are really starting to scare us. This really isn't the thing I wanted to see at 3 in the morning....;-)
It's ok if you guys can post this, but if any of us did something like this in the comments...well, we'd be living in -1 score-land.....;-)
Or perhaps this is all the result of a massive Swedish Chef binge?
-bugbbq
...now with MentalPlex(Tm). pretty funny...www.google.com
Treatment, not tyranny. End the drug war and free our American POWs.
See my user info for links.
Timothy, while I understand that this the initial day of April, also regarded as the prank day April Fool's, I still must question the intentions of your article.
You see, we at slashdot try to respect this forum as a posting area where the intelligent, wise, and technologically saavy can exchange valuable information and even discuss ponderous philosophical issues. Indeed, in my own posts, I work exceptionally hard to present my arguments in clear, crisp, and coherent manner such that others my understand and benefit from what I have to share intellectually. I expect and recieve the same treatment from the other fine members of the slashdot community.
While, I again would like to reinforce that the aforementioned post does have its moments in jest, the crude and garbled presentation only takes away from slashdot and its respectability. I expected more high brow, intellectual humor from people like you and this site. And to be honest, any relevance contained in the actual article is lamentably lost because of the coarse summary of it that you display. I implore you, sir, to consider the levity of such a practical joke and to present your humorous intentions in other ways so that we readers may enjoy and comprehend your humor instead of simply staring a the screen with a baffled haze on our faces.
I realize that many of my slashdot peers, including the moderators who evaluate and critique the posts of slashdot, may consider this plea a troll or offtopic or such, but I must butress my current argument by saying that timothy's presentation of the article fully justifies my heated response. Humor is humor, and a joke is a joke, but I really cringe at the thought of deciphering such babbling, nonsensical language. I, for one, never have and never will speak in such confusing tongues, and I feel it benefits the quality of my posts and allows others to glean from it. And I respect my aquaintances at slashdot for doing so as well.
In conclusion, I would like to ask that you, timothy, would reconsider the obvious impulses to perform such a chilidish joke before the deed is done. Indeed, I have managed to see some humor in your joke, but the cost is at the quality and respectability of this fine web site. I trust your good judgement and am fully assured that you will make the correct decision should the thought present itself in the future. And if you do not, I am afraid that I, OOG THE CAVEMAN, may find myself compelled to approach you and rupture your cranium.
Cheers and Happy April Fool's Day,
OOG THE OPEN SOURCE CAVEMAN
OOG SAY YOU APRIL FOOL!!!
OOG THE OPEN SOURCE CAVEMAN!!! OOG BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD!!!
So, you've shut off your cookies, blocked those banner ad sites, and installed junkbuster. Feeling secure in your anonimity? Well, Martin Paul and LinuxCare Australia knows a way they can still track you when you surf: By using the http cache control header. Its far mare devious than cookies, and far more difficult to block too. His article at the ??? will give you a description and a demonstration. As a bonus, martins writing is funny and clear. Welcome to Standard Pereunuea Team.
Looks like someone has been hitting the Dialectizer a little too much, though I do think the Swedish Chef has to be one of the funnier dialects to choose from. You can actually check out web pages (and do limited surfing) and have all text displayed like that. Check it out at: http://rinkworks.com/dialect/ It one of the more interesting things the web has to offer.
Ok Happy April fools day... I was bored so I thought I would translate this for people who don't speak this special language! =)
Anonymous in Indy writes: "So you've shut off your cookies, blocked those bannered sites, and installed Junkbuster. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Feeling secure in your anonymity? Well, Martin Paul at Linuxcare Australia knows a way we can still track you while you surf: By using the HTTP cache control heeder. It's far more devious than cookies, and more difficult to block, too. Here's the article The Meantime Exploit will give you a description and a demonstration." It's a bonus, Martin's writing is funny and clear. Welcome to Standard Perunueea?? Time.
yeah, that's what we need, april fools jokes on topics that people take seriously. how many sites are gonna post stupid shit like this and then some clueless newbie is gonna do whatever. i can see it now: "to get rid of the remote administration exploit, simply boot into DOS and type "deltree c:\windows" and answer Yes when it asks for confirmation..." moreover, i find the trolls hilariously funny, but do we need stupid fucking shit like this on slashdot? much less two or three or five times? i come here for news, not bullshit.
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DeCSS source code!
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you must amputate to email me
i read all replies to my comments
and the Aprilly Fool jokedy writing wit des lang-a-goony sylable and truncaonotomotpeoin boot the tekky gossip and filly spitz a like poesy for the tekky on the only day the tekky can be poesy maker. Heorshee writes about the sea and the brew or what you find in the OY-ster moat days, but some daze he does a muse himself with hue more
Unuzeer Internet Treckeeng Ixplueet is not funny. Not only is it inherently not funny -- any humor in the Swedish Chef exists ONLY when it is spoken, not written -- but it is extra non-funny because Hemos did the exact same thing a few hours ago. But his "accent" was unrecognizable and even less funny than this one. Also, the idea for the Swedish Chef seemed to come from the comments in the Spring Cleaning article, so not only is it not funny, but unoriginal too.
Please, no more lame accents. No April Fool's Joke is going to be funny if it says "Here is an april fool's joke for you!" which these stories scream. Maybe link to some good AFD pranks or something, or come up with a good one of your own, but no more Swedish Chef!
_________________
rooooar
also for those that have read the news about microsoft donating money to UCLA. the ucla lug site www.linux.ucla.edu was unwittingly hacked by micorsoft. or was it USC a trojan is only good once!!!!!
`April Fool' by John Hegley
A good time for an April Fool
is when it is unexpected.
Like early October.
Matthew @ Bytemark Hosting
Does that qualify as strong encryption (i.e. munitions under US law)? I sure can't make any sense of it...
MSN 8: Now Microsoft even has bugs in their ad campaigns.
The original BUGTRAQ post is here. Taken from the post, the summary reads:
Essentially, instead of giving you a cookie (which many people refuse/block) they give you a unique "cache freshness" timestamp, which your broswer nominally sends back with the conditional-GET request [see the HTTP RFC esp. sections 9.3 and 13.3.3 for description].
Note that the site would have to use the same thing linked from every page to track you, e.g. a 1x1 transparent gif. Also note that this becomes pretty useless for them if you block the REFERER header, which you should be doing any.
If this kind of thing bothers you, you should be using the Internet Junkbuster anyway.
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WTF??? OOG IN LOWERCASE?? THAT WAS FUNNY!
AAArg
Heise have also dropped the ball on their April's Fools joke this year when they recycled a story that ran on Segfault about a month ago (ROT-26 encryption)...
Seems like it's a sad year for April's Fools... *sigh*
Then again, the day's still young over here, so there's still hope... >:)
(Oh, and of course said "article" is in German, so remember to use the fish... ;)
np: Jeswa - Poema Singled (Lily Of The Valley comp.)
As always under permanent deconstruction.
"I'm not anti-anything, I'm anti-everything, it fits better." - Sole
Honestly. Hensen must be turning in his grave. (I bet he reads /.)
Free music from Jack Merlot.
stay for the pie.
Free music from Jack Merlot.
Yeah! I RULE THE INTRENET!
Free music from Jack Merlot.
desturbing.....
ReadThe ReflectionEngine, a cyberpunk style n
Hey! what's with typing like that! I thought I'd stumbled on a spanish version of /. or something...
When you're ready to come out, please send in an article to Slashdot. Maybe they'll post it. Until then, please remove yourself from the genepool.
Andrew van der Stock
No wonder geeks had such a bad name for so long. You people are waaaay too serious.
New rules going into effect on April 1st.
1) All posts concerning Natalie Portman, or the word "goat" will be automatically moderated up to a score of at least 3:Interesting.
2) Anyone mentioning or participating in a troll, or troll based thread will be givin a score of 2:Insightful.
C) Comments containing logical thought, or insight that had not previously been discussed will be summarily dismissed as Flamebait!...now, on to my real post:
(Score, 4: Insightful)
YOO AL AHVE WEERd HAR3! N4t4LeE P0TRMAN RULLLLEEEZZZZZ!!!!! B00\/\/ 2 D3 GOOT1!!1!!1@1@
-FluX
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Your Ad Here!
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"It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once." -David Hume
"So you've shut off your cookies, blocked those banner ads, and installed JunkBuster. Feeling secure in your anonymity? Well, Martin Paul at Linuxcare Australia knows a way they can still track you while you surf: By using the HTTP cache-control. It's far more devious than cookies, and more difficult to block too. His article, the Meantime Exploit, will give you a description and a demonstration." It's a bonus. Martin's writing is funny and clear. Welcome to Standard Paranoia Time.
for sucking
yes, exactely 1 year, oddly, that Microsoft took legal action against segfault and userfriendly.
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
Check it out: Link
To the fool, he who speaks wisdom will sound foolish. ---Euripides
so you won't be late for work Monday...
This is especially important if you've just moved to Arizona or Indiana
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
You too can generate these posts using the handy dandy Dialectizer!!: Here's the swedish chef in Pig latin (This is twice as funny right?): Umyay eday urhay eday urhay eday urhay. Ununymuoosyay inyay Indyyay eetesvray: "Usay yuoo'fe-aay ootshay ooffffyay yuooray uukeeescay, uckedblay use-athay unner-edbay eetessay, undyay instelledyay Oonkboosterjay. Urtyhay urtyflay ippschnay ippschnay! Eeleengfay ecoore-asay inyay yuooray ununymeetyyay? Ellvay, Erteenmay Uulpay etyay Eenooxcere-alay Oostreleeayay oosknay ayay eyvay eeyzay uncay eellstay ecktray yuooay eevhay yuooay oorffsay: Ybay useengyay eezay hTTPay eche-a-cuntrulcay eederhay. Urtyhay urtyflay ippschnay ippschnay! It'syay erfay ure-amay efeeuoosday unthay uukeeescay, undyay ure-amay eefffficooltday utay uckblay, uutay. Eeshay erteecle-ayay Eezay Eunteeme-amay Ixplueetyay eellvay eefe-agay yuooay ayay escreepshunday undyay ayay emunstreshunday." Esyay ayay unoosbay, Erteen'smay eetingvray isyay oonnyfay undyay eerclay. Urtyhay urtyflay ippschnay ippschnay! Elcume-avay utay Underdstay Erunueeapay Eeme-atay.
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| tr fuovVO vouwWA | sed 's/ee/i/g;s/uu/u/g;s/vv/f/g;s/zi/the/ig;s/tre/t ra/g;s/\([^ ]\)sh/\1ti/g;s/ o/ a/g;s/-a//g'
Unonymous in Indy writes: "So you've shut uff your cookies, blocked those bonner-ed sites, and instelled Junkbuster. Horty vlorty schnipp schnipp! Filing secure in your anonymity? Well, Mertin Pool et Linuxcere Australia knus a wey they con still track you whi you surf: By asing the HTTP ceche-control hider. Horty vlorty schnipp schnipp! It's ver more devious thon cookies, and more difficult to block, too. His erticle the Meontime Ixploit will give you a description and a demonstration." Es a bonus, Mertin's writing is vunny and clir. Horty vlorty schnipp schnipp! Welcome to Stonderd Peronoia Time.
MILL NOT LIKE WEB TRACK. NOT LIKE BE HUNTED LIKE ANIMAL. MILL PERSON. HAVE RIGHT HIDE WHEN WANT HIDE, NOT HIDE WHEN WANT NOT HIDE.
THAT WHY MILL NOT USE CACHE. MILL HAVE BIG COLLEGE PIPE. NOT NEED CACHE. MILL FEEL BAD PEOPLE HAVE SMALL PIPE NEED CACHE. MILL WANT BREAK HEAD PERSON FIND EXPLOIT. BUT MILL NOT KNOW WHAT DO ABOUT EXPLOIT.
CACHE GOOD. NOT CLOG PIPE IF NOT NEED CLOG. EXPLOIT CACHE BAD. USE FOR HUNTING PERSON. BUT SMALL PIPE NEED CACHE; TOO SLOW IF NOT HAVE. MILL SAY IF HAVE BIG PIPE, NO USE CACHE; NO NEED CACHE. BUT IF HAVE SMALL PIPE, LOOK WAY HIDE. MAYBE THERE WAY TOUCH CACHE WHEN FILE GO THERE, SO ALL FILE LOOK SAME TIME MODIFY. THEN CACHE HUNT NOT WORK.
Hey, if OOG_THE_CAVEMAN can swap personalities for a April Fool's, so can I...
April Fools Day of course. Watch what you believe in the news today.
-=chiphead
-=-=-=-
This is my sig. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
It's 8am (CST, last day, enjoy it while you can).
I'm not awake enough to sort through fake Swedish and Pig Latin. If it's a joke, I'll just ignore it.
and fools you are.
However,
Pedantic beyond the call of duty? You betcha.
Just one point: "Es" I think is "As", not "It's", so the translation should read:
"So you've shut off your cookies, blocked those banner ads, and installed JunkBuster. Feeling secure in your anonymity? Well, Martin Paul at Linuxcare Australia knows a way they can still track you while you surf: By using the HTTP cache-control. It's far more devious than cookies, and more difficult to block too. His article, the Meantime Exploit, will give you a description and a demonstration." As a bonus. Martin's writing is funny and clear. Welcome to Standard Paranoia Time.
Which surely makes more sense anyhow.
"Knowledge is the continuation of ignorance by other means"
Who needs English! I'd try and parody here, but I'd really do bad, bad, bad... but if we could apply it to comments... might make the First Post/Natalie Portman/etc comments better. :^)
I am prepared for OFFTOPIC points... fire away!
Aargh! Punctuation screw-up! OK, try again:
"So you've shut off your cookies, blocked those banner ads, and installed JunkBuster. Feeling secure in your anonymity? Well, Martin Paul at Linuxcare Australia knows a way they can still track you while you surf: By using the HTTP cache-control. It's far more devious than cookies, and more difficult to block too. His article, the Meantime Exploit, will give you a description and a demonstration. As a bonus, Martin's writing is funny and clear. Welcome to Standard Paranoia Time." Is that a corrected corrected-corrected translation, or a corrected-corrected corrected translation?"Knowledge is the continuation of ignorance by other means"
-- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?
-- Give him Head? Be a Beacon? :P)
(If you can't figure out how to E-Mail me, Don't.
Didnt understand a word. But nonetheless, it tickled me funny bone.
"Electric Relaxation" - ATCQ
- Bwana
"Electric Relaxation" - ATCQ
- Bwana
And note well that Netscape still caches JavaScript source files (.js) and CSS source files (.css), at least the Windows version does. Oops!
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How am I supposed to fit a pithy, relevant quote into 120 characters?
Will you stop jargonizing the goddamn articles...it's really annoying already.
It's 10 PM. Do you know if you're un-American?
I think servers could track pretty well using a combination of cache control and IP even in the absence of Referer headers, though this would only give most-likely and not certain results. Consider for example a proxy or Apache module that rewrites the modification times on all requests from a server.
The general point, in any case, is
and protocol designers should remember that.--
Martin
The Internet has been unclogged. If you still don't see an increase in bandwidth please consider upgrading to a faster connection. Thank you for your cooperation, and please remember to mark this date on your calendar for next year's spring cleaning. Thank you, Management