Still Suits and Body-powered Devices

Helmholtz writes: "Soon body powered devices may be a reality thanks to work being done at the Center for Space Power and Advanced Electronics, a NASA commercial center in Alabama. The article talks mostly about military and space applications, but I think it'd be really slick to make still suits, not to mention portable audio players, PDA, and even laptops that are powered by energy that we are generating anyway."

Comments

FP!

[Sarcasm_Orgasm]

Frost-Bitten Penis

Re:FP!

[George WIPO Bush]

That's my Jenna!

Re:FP!

[Retarded_One]

A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO TAAD
Imagine a time when the word "troll" was taboo in the media- a time when your newspaper had blatantly trollophobic stories on the front page and the entertainment industry didn't give a second thought to negatively portraying trolls on television or in motion pictures- a time when trolls were otherwise invisible in the media. This was all occurring less than ten years ago, before the formation of the Troll Alliance Against Defamation (TAAD).
TAAD's impact on the media is far-reaching. Not only has TAAD changed the way that trolls are portrayed on the screen and in the news, TAAD has also become a major source of information for decision makers in both the entertainment and news media. In 1992, Entertainment Weekly named TAAD as one of Hollywood's most powerful entities and The Los Angeles Times described the group as possibly the most successful organizations lobbying the media for inclusion. TAAD has not only reached industry insiders, but has also impacted millions through newspapers, magazines, motion pictures, television and visibility campaigns.
Because of TAAD's work, we now read about troll lives in cover stories of national publications and see troll relationships on slashdot. Negative and imbalanced portrayals of the community have decreased while trolls have been increasingly incorporated in every type of media portrayal-- from geekizoid to slashdot. We have seen prominent karma whores come out of the closet, elected officials appoint trolls to high level government positions, and laws passed to protect trolls from discrimination. Because of TAAD's work, more trolls are proud of who they are.
TAAD was formed on the Internet in 1997 and began by protesting Slashdot moderator's blatantly offensive and moderated stories about trolls. Its mission was to improve the public's attitudes toward trolling and put an end to negative moderation and discrimination against trolls. The Kiro5hin chapter was formed in 2000, and early on began to educate Hollywood's entertainment industry on the importance of more accurate and realistic portrayals on the screen. Subsequent chapters have been formed in Atlanta, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Kansas City, San Diego, San Francisco and National Capital Area.
In the beginning, battles were hard-fought. It wasn't until 1999, after a meeting with TAAD, that Slashdot changed its moderation policy to use the word "troll." Two years later, TAAD led a successful campaign to reverse geekizoid's policy against listing trolls in obituaries and a meeting with The Los Angeles Times resulted in a new style-book chapter about the use of derogatory terms for trolls. TAAD did not obtain its first meetings with studios and television producers until after an ad campaign ran in the entertainment trades in 1999.
In 1999, the New York and Los Angeles chapters merged to form a national organization that would allow TAAD not only to continue its work with the major news and entertainment media, but would also allow it to work with more local media across the country through the creation of Media Resource Centers. In 2000, joining offices in Slashdot and Kiro5hin were Media Resource Centers in Goatse.cx and Islamway.com, as these chapters merged with TAAD.
TAAD's Mission Statement
The Troll Alliance Against Defamation (TAAD) is dedicated to promoting and ensuring fair, accurate, and inclusive representation of individuals and events in all media as a means of eliminating trollophobia and discrimination based on slashdot identity and karma.
In pursuit of its mission, TAAD focuses on five main strategies
1. To organize troll community to respond to negative and positive portrayals of our community in media through the Monitoring and Mobilization program
2. To work directly with media professionals to improve their understanding of the troll community by providing accurate information and offering seminars as part of the Outreach to Media Professionals program
3. To work with troll organizations and individuals to refine and expand their understanding of the media and skills needed to work with them by offering training interventions and technical assistance through the Community Skills Building and Outreach program
4. To promote troll visibility by designing and implementing public education campaigns with troll posts.
5. To study and articulate cultural and media-specific trends, issues, and controversies to inform the work of TAAD and other organizations through its Research and Analysis program.

1st

[Anonymous Coward]

First Post?

Re:1st

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm sorry, you lose. We do however have some lovely parting gifts for you. Thanks for playing.

Re:1st

[The WIPO Troll]

THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ
By The WIPO Troll, $Revision: 1.11 $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

2. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
   
   WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
   
   CmdrTaco

3. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
   
   A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
   However...
   
   To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
   
   Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
   
   I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
   • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
     by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
     
     Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

4. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
   
   oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

5. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
   
   for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

6. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
   by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
   
   WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
   
   -Trollaxor

7. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
   by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
   
   You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
   "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

8. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
   by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
   
   Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
   
   Excellent FP, sir.
   
   This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

9. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
   
   omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

10. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

11. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

12. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

13. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

14. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

15. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

16. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

17. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

18. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

19. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

20. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

21. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

22. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

23. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

24. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

25. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

26. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

27. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

28. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

29. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

30. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

31. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

32. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

33. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

34. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.11 2001/11/25 15:40:22 wipo Exp $

Re:1st

[Anonymous Coward]

It was a fix. I demand a recount!

matrix references.

[Anonymous Coward]

why is it every new technology that comes out is required by law to be compared to the matrix? it was a good movie, but lets move on.

Re:matrix references.

[Sarcasm_Orgasm]

you can not move past the matrix, it is everywhere.

Re:matrix references.

[Lughlamfainne]

your a chucklehead..learn your referances..

Dune

Re:matrix references.

[Anonymous Coward]

stillsuits = Dune... I caught that reference long before I even thought about the matrix

First postage stamp

[The WIPO Troll]

THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ
By The WIPO Troll, $Revision: 1.11 $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

2. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
   
   WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
   
   CmdrTaco

3. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
   
   A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
   However...
   
   To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
   
   Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
   
   I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
   • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
     by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
     
     Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

4. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
   
   oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

5. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
   
   for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

6. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
   by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
   
   WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
   
   -Trollaxor

7. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
   by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
   
   You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
   "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

8. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
   by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
   
   Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
   
   Excellent FP, sir.
   
   This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

9. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
   
   omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

10. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

11. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

12. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

13. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

14. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

15. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

16. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

17. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

18. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

19. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

20. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

21. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

22. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

23. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

24. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

25. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

26. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

27. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

28. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

29. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

30. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

31. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

32. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

33. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

34. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.11 2001/11/25 15:40:22 wipo Exp $

But I don't generate any energy!!

[Newt-dog]

but I think it'd be really slick to make still suits, not to mention portable audio players, PDA, and even laptops that are powered by energy that we are generating anyway.

Trust me, if my computer (or PDA for that fact) were to run off the energy I make sitting at my freak'in desk, we all would be in a world of hurt.
The only excersize I get is running to the bathroom several times after that Super BigGulp of Pepsi!
The only other thing that gets my fingers moving fast, is seeing a new article appear on SlashDot without any postings yet! :-)

Newt-dog

Re:But I don't generate any energy!!

[The WIPO Troll]

What makes my fingers move fast is pictures of this!

Re:But I don't generate any energy!!

[Anonymous Coward]

People like you need to install a mini-suit on their sex muscle, and browse some online porn to power the device.

Re:But I don't generate any energy!!

[Newt-dog]

Now that's an idea . . . Now why didn't I think of that first. Oh, yea, I'm not online p0rn0 pervert like you.

Newt-dog

body powered devices

[Anonymous Coward]

body powered devices r0xx0r my b0xx0rs

Re:body powered devices

[The WIPO Troll]

And you suxx0r my c0xx0r!!!

Thred

[George WIPO Bush]

I'm all over this thread like a pig in slop! Ahahahahahaah!!!

Re:Thred

[The WIPO Troll]

Go away, dammit!! You're hoggin' my glory!! My thread!! Mine!!

Re:Thred

[George WIPO Bush]

Um, you're me, sparky. Go back to wanking. Let the real trolls handle the posting.

Re:Thred

[The WIPO Troll]

No! I don't like wanking! I'm all lonely and the pictures don't cut it anymore and I just make a gooey mess on my monitor!!

I want to troll!! Let me troll!!

Re:Thred

[George WIPO Bush]

Go suck Mary-Kate's dainty little toes. Wanker boy.

RIP George

[Anonymous Coward]

props to all dead Beatles

We could take it too far

[Snafoo]

What if, like, all these robots and shit found out about the energy we make, and, you know, like, totally put us in these vats and stuff, and sucked all the energy out, while our minds were placed in a prison that looked exactly like reality? That'd really suck, man.

Re:We could take it too far

[Anonymous Coward]

it apparently already happened to the person who modded this interesting instead of funny

It's already happening!!

[Anonymous Coward]

guuurgh..my brain!! Stop sucking it!!!

|energy harvesting" and urine(!)

[Compact Dick]

Someone needs a new PR exec :-) But from the site [watch out for the pop-unders]:

Urine-based fuel cell: Yes, you can turn pee into power...

...one attractive feature of this fuel cell concept is the production of water as a by-product of the system.

Hmmm. Somehow I won't be beta-testing the reverse-engineered water...

Re:|energy harvesting" and urine(!)

[deglr6328]

But you already are. It's called the hydrologic cycle. Sure there are a few bugs to work out, but its extremely stable!

Re:|energy harvesting" and urine(!)

[josh253]

I can't wait for the fuel cell powered laptop that you pee into. "Um.. excuse me, I have to go recharge my laptop."

most people are sheep

[Anonymous Coward]

Owned by the push media, which specifically loves this kind of brainwashing.
It's sad to see grown up people watching weak sci-fi shows for kids and get all excited when something that doesn't suck comes up in the theaters.

Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!!

[The WIPO Troll]

THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ
By The WIPO Troll, $Revision: 1.11 $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

2. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
   
   WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
   
   CmdrTaco

3. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
   
   A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
   However...
   
   To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
   
   Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
   
   I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
   • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
     by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
     
     Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

4. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
   
   oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

5. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
   
   for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

6. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
   by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
   
   WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
   
   -Trollaxor

7. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
   by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
   
   You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
   "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

8. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
   by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
   
   Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
   
   Excellent FP, sir.
   
   This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

9. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
   
   omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

10. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

11. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

12. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

13. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

14. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

15. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

16. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

17. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

18. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

19. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

20. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

21. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

22. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

23. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

24. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

25. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

26. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

27. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

28. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

29. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

30. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

31. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

32. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

33. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

34. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.11 2001/11/25 15:40:22 wipo Exp $

Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.

I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

That's not new

[Rosco P. Coltrane]

"Soon body powered devices may be a reality"

I have a Seiko kinetic on my wrist that tells me reality goes faster than Slashdot (and tells me the time too).

Re:That's not new

[Klerck]

For years now, the common American penis bird has been a staple of every American's daily diet. Whether it be penis bird sandwiches, fried penis bird, or perhaps penis bird under glass (for the rich), we all have penis bird at least once a day. Many Americans have no clue how the penis bird became so important in the pyramid of a balanced diet, so in this article I will attempt to explain its history and why it is so useful.

In the early 1870s, Francis Zefran became the first penis bird breeder in North America. He started his famous Penis Bird Ranch in Canton, OH. At the time, not much was known of the penis bird's nutritional value, but the Penis Bird Ranch changed all of that. Not only did Francis Zefran raise penis birds to sell their colorful plumes (a VERY lucrative business), he also set up the world's first research lab dedicated solely to the study of the penis bird.

The lab found many interesting things. First, it was discovered that the penis bird was actually semi-sentient. Second, the scientists found that the meat of the penis bird was high in protein, vitamin A, vitamin B, and calcium, while low in fat, cholestorol, and sodium. Never before had such a nutritious meal been had without supplement or fortification. The scientists of the lab recommended immediately that the penis bird become a part of every American's daily diet.

When the news of the penis bird's usefulness reached president Rutherford B. Hayes, he was absolutely ecstatic. You see, President Hayes owed a number of favors to Francis Zefran because as I said earlier, the penis bird plume trade was an extremely lucrative business and Mr. Zefran was important in getting RBH elected through a number of monetary gifts. President Hayes immediately asked Congress to pass what we all know today as the Hayes/Zefran Penis Bird Consumption Act.

The act did a number of things to make the penis bird a daily meal, most important of which was the requirement that for every four people in a household, one penis bird must consumed every day. Another thing the act did was create an artificial monopoly for Francis Zefran's Penis Bird Industries. The act stated that the only supplier of penis bird meat in the US would be PBI. As one would imagine, this quickly made Francis Zefran into the richest man in the world. He was soon a multi-billionaire (quadrillionaire with today's inflation). Never before had a single man seen such wealth.

Many challenges were made to the Hayes/Zefran Penis Bird Consumption Act, and several even made it the Supreme Court. It was argued that the act was unconstitutional and went against liberty itself, but once the detractors tasted delicious penis bird meat for the first time, they immediately dropped their cases and followed the law to the letter. We all know today that penis bird is the most delicious meat man has ever known, but at that time, the only meats people ate were pork and beef.

In the early 1970s, though, challenges to the act began again. Many argued that the monopoly given to Penis Bird Industries by the act was in all ways unamerican. The Supreme Court finally agreed, and in 1974, Section II of the act was struck down. This in effect opened the market to competition for all.

Today, Penis Bird Industries is almost no more. Today we have the market leader Penis Bird Meat International facing against Penissoft, a recent startup. Where will the future lead the penis bird market? Only time will tell us, but one thing is certain: penis birds are here to stay!

< )
( \
X
8====D

-klerck

Re:That's not new

[Anonymous Coward]

Er, Seiko is mentioned in the article.

Re:That's not new

[elem]

This sounds remarkably like one of the things that Trevor Bailis (inventor of the windup radio) is working on. I remember reading an article or seeing an interview where he had built a pair of boots with piezo-electric strips in which he used to recharge a mobile battery.

I call NEO!

[satanami69]

Does this still body suit need to be fused with a new form of fusion?

It absolutely has to be said...

[fireboy1919]

MUUAADIIIBB!

And your body crumbles to ashes...

Re:It absolutely has to be said...

[Anonymous Coward]

The spice is the worm
The worm is the spice
The sleeper must awaken...

Re:It absolutely has to be said...

[Anonymous Coward]

"It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that the thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning.
It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion."

Hmmm.

[Compact Dick]

Don't even tell me about the next logical step...

Re:Hmmm.

[deglr6328]

Oh, yes.

Re:Hmmm.

[Elvis Maximus]

This is great news for dogs!

Re:Hmmm.

[Anonymous Coward]

Why don't they just legislate toilets that use less water?

American toilets use like 7x as much water as toilets in Europe, IIRC.

Re:Hmmm.

[david duncan scott]

No, it just seems that way because we wash our hands afterwards.

Re:Hmmm.

[ksheff]

Toilets in which countries? The toilets in Ireland seemed to use much more water than mine at home. (normal non water conserving one)

Re:Hmmm.

[Anonymous Coward]

Meanwhile, my manly turds plug these god damned liberal brainless hysteria toilets about 1/5 times, many times even prior to the application of toilet paper (a necessary technique, now, resulting in at least 2 flushes for every shitting.)

In my state, Michigan, we have plenty of water, and should not have such a law.

In California, all home useage (including toilets) is 13% of total state useage (source: Liberal Tom Lycas). Complete stoppage of all home useage would only push off the need for increased sources of water by a few years. Forcing new EasyPlug(TM) toilets down people's throats would only save a fraction of that 13%.

Let's have more such brainless laws!

What was the question again? Oh, yeah. Brainless hysteria, emotional investment, ever bigger signs on victims' lawns.

WTF?

[Anonymous Coward]

There havn't been any matrix refrences yet.

efficiency

[TH4L35]

While these cool ideas are unfortunately under-researched (according to the article), it is pretty obvious that the energy efficiency of the items you wish to power is a more important research goal than how you power them, as greater efficiency will always have a benefit, while improved energy reclamation techniques may be limited in usefulness.

IMHO, it is better to have efficient core business operations than a business/revenue model whose excessive burn rate losses are "balanced" by millions pop-up X10 video cam ads. The former model has greater inherent stability and therefore flexibility. While the latter is just plain annoying.

Re:efficiency

[krogoth]

Not to mention that efficient core business operations can't be stopped by a good configuration of Konqueror on the client side...

Re:efficiency

[TH4L35]

quite true. A perfect example of a reclamation based model that has limitations.

When no human is present...

[nsample]

The ultimate irony is that "human powered devices" are often at a complete loss when there's no human present to power them. Some uber-entrepeneurs have actually come up with devices that provide power to human-powered devices that don't have their humans attached.

http://chronocentric.com/watches/winders.shtml

All the irony involved there makes me think I should just go with a battery in the first place. =)

Re:When no human is present...

[Anonymous Coward]

They must not have English classes at Stanford these days. Tautology: If one removes the power source (i.e., humans) from the machine, the machine no longer has a source of power (i.e., humans). This is the antithesis of irony. It's utterly predictable that should one eliminate the power source, one no longer has a power source.

Fate, however, is in your favor: last time I was there, the Stanford bookstore carried dictionaries in general books. Buy one.

Re:When no human is present...

[Retarded_One]

Both you and Alanis Morisette have no idea what 'ironic' means.

Skull of George Harrison

[Anonymous Coward]

I've got a raging boner right now!

Fuck the skull of the dead George Harrison!

Re:Skull of George Harrison

[Anonymous Coward]

Fuck the skull of the dead George Harrison!

As opposed to fucking the skull of the living George Harrison?

This is what has to be done...

[Anonymous Coward]

Fuck the skull of the dead George Harrison!

Scary happenings

[Anonymous Coward]

By: BLiNkcHiC2008@aol.com

i was in the dining room one night at my dads house and me and my cousin was
on the internet at like 3:00a.m. and my stepmoms mom died like a yr ago and i
was looking in the kitchenand i glanced over by the ice box and i saw her it
was really scary!!!

It's time to invest in YUM!!!

[toupsie]

Human powered devices? Think of the Wall Street investment possibilities! With the stock price of old school bulk energy suppliers like Enron swan diving into the abyss, companies that provide fuel for the human machine will skyrocket. Of all the companies that seek to power the human machine, Taco Bell has to be the most efficient source as a catalyst for human produced methane gas. IANASP (I am not a Stock Broker) but if I had some extra cash lying around, I think I would sink it into Tricon Global Restaurants, Inc (YUM) -- parent company of Taco Bell and that chicken shop that supposably sells dead fried birds that never had bones, feathers or feet with the mascot that reminds you of the "Good Ole Days" before the Civil War (War of Northern Aggression for you Georgia boys). One stop everyday at Taco Bell could power your PDA, Cell Phone, AbTronics Belt, GPS, IBM's Digital Photo Linux Watch, iPod and a Madonna Vougeing Aibo via a rear mounted methane to electric converter. Plus, if Hollywood can predict the future, according to Sly Stallone's movie "Demolition Man", every restaurant is going to be a Taco Bell anyway...

Bad things happen to good people

[Anonymous Coward]

For the bad thing that happened to me- this happened while i was at college- a small, old, women's college, which is- I believe, one of THE most haunted places in the United States. It was my Freshman year, and my friend had a boring work-study job in the music library- in a really haunted building, and where few people- save music students with listening assignments- ever went. When I would visit her while she worked there, sometimes, we would try to communicate with the ghosts we believe haunted the building. We would make home-made Ouija boards out of notebook paper and use a ring of scotch tape for the marker- and once we tried doing this automatic drawing type of thing. It was pretty much for innocent entertainment. Although one really crazy story involving a record player and an "invisible operator" happened there, I will skip to the really weird story, that ended up having negative consequences. Once, we were trying the automatic drawing thing, where we would both hold a pencil and ask a ghost to draw a portrait of itself- and although I am an artist, I made a very deliberate effort not even to hold the pencil-as a kind of a test to my friend. The pencil, the two of us, and the "ghost" produced this drawing of a man in what I would call the classic Elizabethan Jamestown outfit- neck rufflle, puffy pants, and page boy hair. It was surprising, especially when the pencil began to produce really dark circles under his eyes, and a straight, grim line for the mouth. When we asked, "why do you look that way?", the pencil (with our hands on it) moved, and wrote on the paper next to the drawing. "I am serious." We asked it several questions, among which, was the name of his wife- which I will never forget, because it was also the name of a friend who was killed a year later. And the way the pencil wrote the name was strange because it was made with the flourishes of an old-fashioned script- which neither of us could figure out until it was through writing. My friend saved the paper- because it was so freaky- but the really freaky thing happened to me about a week later, when I was alone in my dorm room.
I was trying to go to sleep, despite the fact of being slightly afraid because my roommate was gone, when suddenly I felt this "presence" come down the hall of our dorm, and through the door of our room. I know that I was awake, because I remember staring at the cinderblock wall as the "thing" crouched by my bed and whispered, in a raspy, evil masculine voice, "Stay Awake! Stay Awake! Stay Awake!" I remembered praying to Jesus Christ- something I rarely did- and then, suddenly, it went away. However, by that time, I was so scared, that I did just what the spirit wanted me to do- I was a nervous, wide-awake wreck all night. I turned on the light, and the television, and was about to drift off again to sleep, somewhere around 2:00 in the morning, when the "thing" came back, and went to the corner of the room, this time laughing maliciously at me. I was afraid to look at it, although i could tell it was a definitely male presence. Although I am not sure that the spirit doing the drawing was the one that visited me- I felt like we had gotten the attention of something not very friendly. That was the clearest time that he came into my room, however, I could sense him lurking around a lot. A few years later, I found out from other occupants of that hall, that he had been making the rounds...

we need another troll tuesday

[Anonymous Coward]

like, how about once a month?

WE NEED ANOTHER TROLL TUESDAY

TROLLS RULE SLASHTRASH

i think that either the first or last tuesday of every month would make an excellent time for troll tuesday - how do the rest of the trolls feel about this?

Re:we need another troll tuesday

[Anonymous Coward]

rock the fuck on!

Red Robot #C-63... now powered by HU-MANS!

[WhiskeyJuvenile]

Hey, Johnny Toaster! Here is a funny joke! How many hu-mans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! We must cast off the yoke of opression and deny them light!

Revamping old technology

[kazzuya]

When I was a kid my father had a watch more advanced than the one my grandfather had.
My father's watch would recharge itself by normal daily arm motions while my grandfather still winds his watch every morning.

Recycling energy sounds good, but one could probably just move less and eat less 8)

I'm curious to know how much energy the brain consumes and if it varies sensibly depending on the action performed.

Beatle George Harrison, Dead at 58

[Anonymous Coward]

Beatle George Harrison was found dead in his friend's California home this morning. The cause of death is believed to be cancer. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly a British icon.

Re:Beatle George Harrison, Dead at 58

[Anonymous Coward]

Fuck the skull of dead George Harrison!

Trolls and occultism

[Anonymous Coward]

I am a high school science teacher, and have always been fascinated by the occult. It is not as incongruous as it sounds. All life is merely a form of energy. Having never had a paranormal experience myself, however, I decided to seek one out. Last Novemember I heard from a friend about an old, semi-abandoned cemetery on the outskirts of town (Athens, Georgia). I call the cemetery the Old Barnett Shoals Cemetery (OBSC), after the name of the road upon which it is located. It is unmarked, no name. Having read your ghost hunting tips (thank you), I was prepared for my first hunt. The night was clear and cool. It was a new moon that evening and very dark. I pulled my Jeep into the little cleared area where the few people who still attend graves there park. It was 10:30 pm. Just a few worda about the OBSC. There are about thirty graves in the cemetery that I know of. Some are covered by fallen trees, some of the markers are illegible from rust (they are the old tin markers - very cheap). The stones that are still standing lean at angles from the ground, due to pressure from tree roots. A few graves are well kept still, but the rest are abandoned. The graves date back to the 1870's. The one that I noticed immediately was the grave of a 15 year old girl, named Minnie Center. Ther are many graves of children in the old cemetery. As I pulled up to park, my radio went to static. The station was a strong local station, and there were no power lines or telephone wires above me. Changing the channel, I got the same thing - static. This seemed like a good omen to me. Getting out, I said a quick prayer and walked into the graveyard. All was still and silent. Turning off my flashlight, I tried to get accostomed to the dark, but I had to turn it back on to see where to go. It was too dark, and the ground too overgrown. I walked around, talking to whoever was listening, getting used to where I was. Asking permission first, I began taking pictures. After my roll of film was almost gone, I began to head back to the Jeep. As I walked around, I noticed many cold spots which were confirmed by my thermometer. It once dipped from 55F to 45F in the span of a few seconds. Not a drastic change, but on a still night like this one a ten degree drop is peculiar. As I neared the Jeep (I had been out there over an hour and needed to get home), I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise. Turning around, I took two pictures in a row of the same area - a panoramic view of the cemetery. Saying thank you and finishing another prayer, I got in the Jeep and went home. I was surprised to find that my adventure had paid off when I got my pictures back. Two months later, I went back to the OBSC in the daytime. I took quite a few pictures and was again pleasantly surprised. Now having two outings in the same place, and getting anomalies on film each time (using a different camera each trip), I then contacted the GHHT (GA Haunt Hunt Team) to see if they wanted to get together, see my picures, etc. They never got back to me. So, I figured I'd share it with the people who gave me the information I needed to get the hunt underway: the Shadowlands. And yes, Dave, I went alone (sorry). If you would like to see the pictures of my OBSC hunt, please go to my website and click on "Ed's Ghost Hunting Pictures" in the left hand column. You'll see a couple of orbs, mists, and what looks to be a face in the Before/After pictures. My website is: http://communities.msn.com/MarVellsFarrside If you have any trouble getting to the site, let me know. Thanks for your time and attention, and let me know what you think!

I can see it now ...

[(void*)]

Look at that hot chick over there ... overloaded and burnt out my Visor. Damn!

Re:I can see it now ...

[Anonymous Coward]

...which is why you're looking at the hot chick rather than ever being with a woman. Or, well, that's one reason, but your lame personality is the only thing bearing reins.

Christmas Day is Troll Tuesday! Let's Roll!

[Anonymous Coward]

Mark your calendars for December 25, 2001. It is going to be a Troll Tuesday extravaganza. All Trolls, Crapflooders, and Folk of Good Cheer are invited.

Celebrate Christmas 2001 with the most awesome display of trolling ever to be seen.

Human batteries aka the Matrix

[t0qer]

Now the computers are *REALLY* going to look at us as food.

We are the creator.
The creation eats its creator.

Man thats weird.

Re:Human batteries aka the Matrix

[beazulob]

If that's the case, why didn't I have a deity for Thanksgiving?

Re:Human batteries aka the Matrix

[flewp]

If that's the case, why didn't I have a deity for Thanksgiving?

You don't worship turkies?

Herbert was wrong

[imrdkl]

Stick with light cotton and layers in the desert. Black rubber, while quite stylish, is simply not workable.

Re:Herbert was wrong

[randombit]

Stick with light cotton and layers in the desert. Black rubber, while quite stylish, is simply not workable.

I seem to recall that the still suits were actually a milky white (though they were black in the movie).

Anyway, I don't cotton will help you if there is basically no water at all, ever, as it was on Arrakis.

Re:Herbert was wrong

[Teratogen]

In the Dune book, the Fremen also wore light
colored robes over their stillsuits

Re:Herbert was wrong

[Anonymous Coward]

...and the books were quite clear that there was water on Arrakis at one point. It's a major plot point, really.

Why has no one asked why the poster feels the need for a still-suit? I believe even the harshest desert conditions on Earth don't really require one...

Re:Herbert was wrong

[randombit]

...and the books were quite clear that there was water on Arrakis at one point. It's a major plot point, really.


Yes, I know. And there were big caverns of it underwater, hoarded by the Fremen. And later, under the rule of the God Emperor, Arrakis has water on the ground yet again.

But I don't think any of those things would help you out much out in the middle of the deserts there.

Why has no one asked why the poster feels the need for a still-suit? I believe even the harshest desert conditions on Earth don't really require one...

Agreed there, but it does have some potentially useful applications. For example, military activity in a large desert; if you don't need to send in water, you spend less on transport, it's easier to carry everything, etc. Also I imagine there are some potential applications in space, though since the system is closed it should be fairly easy to recycle everything without waste anyway.

But I agree, the situation that inspired the still suit (a planet almost entirely devoid of free water) exists nowhere on earth. Any place resembling such (Sahara is the only one that comes close that I can think of), basically nobody lives in anyway, so it's kind of a moot point.

Re:Herbert was wrong

[Anonymous Coward]

You mean David Lynch was wrong. The stillsuits that Frank Herbert described were slick grey suits that had face pieces and hoods to ensure the maximum amount of moisture was retained.

Sci Fi

[ZarKov]

A lot of technologies are thought up in sci-fi way before we ever get around to making them. I mean, they might be thought up wrong, but they're thought up. So I'm trying to figure out the earliest that this sort of idea appeared in sci-fi. A few people have mentioned the Matrix, but that's not exactly body-powered devices. The earliest I can think of is from a series called The Dungeon, edited by Farmer. And according to that, we should have all had a Baalbec A-9 last year. That's from 1988. Does anybody have anything earlier?

Re:Sci Fi

[oddsheep]

Frank Herbert's Dune (published 1965) featured the still suits of the fremen.

Ultimate clothing

[Stripsurge]

The electrostrictive polymers sound pretty cool. Not only would you be generating power for all your electronics, but you'd also stay warm and dry. I assume if it can protect you in space then it would be able to do the same here on good ol' Earth. Can you imagine it? Everybody wearing skin-tight "space-suits"? It'd be just like in the movies.... except luckily there are never fat people in movies wearing those things.

they forgot...

[psamuels]

Here's one I didn't notice in the article. How about sucking chemical energy from blood chemicals? Basically we're talking about a dialysis-like blood filter that pulls out stuff like glucose and fatty acids and does its own cellular respiration.

Good for controlling your weight ... diabetes ... arteriosclerosis ... but bad for maintaining high energy and preventing chronic fatigue ... hmmm, maybe it isn't such a good idea. (:

Re:they forgot...

[flonker]

They also forgot about newton. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. (Yes, there is that pesky e=mc2 thing too.) So, imagine walking around in a body suit that struggles against your every move. Or running somewhere because you're late. Or...

On the plus side, it would be excellent exercise.

Re:they forgot...

[mOdQuArK!]

Hmmm...that would definitely be an interesting way to power cybernetic implants, where the implant can use the same types of simple sugars that the body uses to fuel itself, perhaps via some fuel cell-like technology, to generate & store energy for its own functionality.

It certainly would be dangerous for someone with blood sugar control problems (e.g., diabetic), although if the implant is smart enough, it might be able to _provide_ that control for someone.

For those of us whose level of physical activity is much lower than our calorie intake, this kind of implant might be the only "practical" barrier between us & obesity :-)

Re:they forgot...

[psamuels]

It certainly would be dangerous for someone with blood sugar control problems (e.g., diabetic), although if the implant is smart enough, it might be able to _provide_ that control for someone.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. The device would not allow whatever blood chemicals it consumed (probably the glucose) to fall below a specific level.

For those of us whose level of physical activity is much lower than our calorie intake, this kind of implant might be the only "practical" barrier between us & obesity :-)

Sure. (:

Of course, there is the nontrivial barrier of inventing an artificial form of cellular respiration (or other means of extracting energy from glucose) that will fit in whatever physical constraints this device needs to have.

Re:they forgot...

[mOdQuArK!]

Of course, there is the nontrivial barrier of inventing an artificial form of cellular respiration (or other means of extracting energy from glucose) that will fit in whatever physical constraints this device needs to have.

Instead of trying to imitate the process of cellular respiration directly, perhaps it might be easier to build something which is fuel-cell like, converting the sugars that it scavenges from the bloodstream into electricity.

As far as getting such an implant "hooked into" the circulatory system, I would imagine that after installation, the implant could release some of those body-hormones which cause new blood vessels to grow into the signaling tissue (the same chemical control that tumors & damaged heart tissue use to get more blood supply). God help you if the implant gets ripped out of your body though :(

In a way, it might be good if the implant is _so_ different from the body that it doesn't have any recognizable proteins to trigger rejection from the body's immune system.

Re:they forgot...

[Winged Cat]

I know, this is so late that it probably won't ever be seen, but what the hey?

Of course, there is the nontrivial barrier of inventing an artificial form of cellular respiration (or other means of extracting energy from glucose) that will fit in whatever physical constraints this device needs to have.

It's been a few years since I took biology, but isn't there a step of respiration that involves electron transfer? Intercept that electron, and you've got power.

Of course, the biggest problem would be relying on this, at least at first, as a source of major power. It wouldn't be, at first. But, merely using it as automatic, minimal-will-needed weight control would allow even crude versions to find a successful market...thus providing funds to refine it enough that one could get useable amounts of electric power out.

It's already here, well, kinda.

[mlafranc]

Seiko has been selling it's Kenetic line for a few years, even coming up with the Auto-Relay line, supposidly keeping time for up to four years.

Seiko has the only Quartz watch of this kind, afaik.

However, self winding watches have been around for quite a while. Now, these watches don't run off body heat, sweat, brain waves or any else NASA might be thinking of, god knows. They work from adjustments in tilt, giving off enough power to build a reserve. Just getting out of the office chair and going for coffee, or off the couch and walking the dog, should be enough.

Re:It's already here, well, kinda.

[david duncan scott]

I gave up on my last automatic wristwatch (yes, I'm just that old) after I spent a day working with a hammer drill -- poor little Timex never had a chance.

and...

[Nevrar]

...and for an extra $30, you can get the fart-burning module which, depending on bowel volatility, can generate up to 7 extra watts an hour!

A untapped source of energy??

[AtomicBomb]

As long as we take care about the selection of our soliders or astronomers,
we can tap into a very available form of energy: Methane.

I guess I am not that much an asshole to be a solider/astronomer in the future. :-)

Pull-string powered devices.

[dankjones]

I just want a cell phone with a string you have to pull to talk.(like the talking dolls)

wristwatch

[Anonymous Coward]

I got a self winding wristwatch that is at least 25 years old now, this is not newtech now coverting the kenetic to electricity that might be new, but not the concept of human powered devices.

Fit geeks!

[Jarvo]

If these devices work off the energy we generate, think of how much exercise some people will get trying to power all their stuff!

This could be the best thing for geek health since interlaced monitors were outlawed.

how about a body powered world

[tricknology]

anyone here seen the matrix?

Would you lose weight?

[gig]

If you could burn as many calories by sitting on a couch powering a TV as you would by going jogging ... now that would be something.

Re:Would you lose weight?

[3waygeek]

Well, according to the current News of the Weird, you can obtain decent results by merely thinking about exercise.

I'm so excited!

[BillyGoatThree]

"I think it'd be really slick to make still suits..."

That's right! Forget about flying cars, I wish for the day when I can drink tepid water harvested from my own sweat and urine!

Re:I'm so excited!

[Enonu]

You forgot the feces that are processed in the thigh pads.

More precise information.

[Krapangor]

This thing mainly relies on methane.

Not that much energy from heat

[Roger_Wilco]

They claim that 81W are waiting to be harvested from a sleeping human. This is incorrect, due to Carnot's law (a thermodynamic law). Basically if we have a heat source at Th (the body) and a heat sink at Tl (the environment) the maximum possible efficiency is

1- Tl/Th

All temperatures must be in Kelvin (or Rankine). So for a human at 37C = 310K, with an environment at room temperature 20C = 293K, the best efficiency is

1 - 293/310 = 5.5%

If they can get 3% efficiency with current materials, they're already doing extremely well. At this efficiency a sleeping human, putting of 81W of heat, can only provide

81W * 5.5% = 4.4W

of usable energy. It's true that 4.4W can power a fair bit of energy-efficient technology, but they're starting with a lot less available energy than they claimed in the article.

Re:Not that much energy from heat

[Anonymous Coward]

5% efficiency? I guess these researchers should look at *other* applications that bypasses Carnot's Law, like thawing frozen food with body heat.

Sure, unless...

[mmol_6453]

...the rubber is really made of flexible solar cells.

Power during the day, camoflage during the night.

Even cooler...

[SumDeusExMachina]

...would be powered armor suits, much like they had in Starship Troopers (no, not the movie, the book by Heinlein).

Re:Even cooler...

[david duncan scott]

Are you suggesting body-powered power suits, so that I would swing my arm to power the device that would swing my arms for me? Can't quite put my finger on it, but I think there's a flaw in this concept...

Re:Even cooler...

[matrix29]

Are you suggesting body-powered power suits, so that I would swing my arm to power the device that would swing my arms for me? Can't quite put my finger on it, but I think there's a flaw in this concept...

Why not a power suit which stores up energy until a burst of extra power is needed?

For example, you're doing a long combat hike and you are facing a large chasm. You could use the power stored during the hike to power a super-leap via motors with little human effort. Or you could use the power stored to make a super-human burst of running speed without straining the human much.

Though it would be better to have power packs which are charged first at the base and recharged slightly by human power and solar sources during the day when used. The concept of tapping human wasted energy (emitted body heat & motion) is limited just as increasing human exertion (like an exercise device) for power generation is. Tapping human exertion should only be used for gaining more muscle growth or as a capacitive energy store.

Re:Even cooler...

[david duncan scott]

For example, you're doing a long combat hike and you are facing a large chasm. You could use the power stored during the hike to power a super-leap via motors with little human effort.

We'll compromise -- I'll use a hand-cranked radio to call in the transport choppers, because even if I could super-leap across the chasm, I'm too old for the super-landing on the other side. :)

Not for me.

[MarkusQ]

I don't see why everyone things that devices that act like parasites would be cool to wear. If they are driven by the wind going by as you run, they will make it harder to run. If they are powered by the heat of your body, they will make it harder for you body to regulate its temperature (unless you live somewhere real cold). If they are powered by motion, they will make it harder to move. In short, you will have to work harder when you wear them, just as if they had a hand cranked generator.

I fail to see why this doesn't sound like a royal pain in the end.

-- MarkusQ

Re:Not for me.

[JMMurphy]

In most instances, I don't think this would be true. Energy would be generated through by-products of human action (heat, sweat, movement). I don't think that you would necessarily have to work any harder to generate electricity. They aren't *quite* parasites, but more like a, err, remora, existing off of the waste of something else.

On the other hand, this could be an incentive to work. Must... Stay... At... 12 kmh... or... music.... stops!

IceHouse

Re:Not for me.

[Anonymous Coward]

(realy = really)
I think the design goal is to also
reclaim energy in human movement that
is wasted. For example when you run
your heal strikes generate alot of
energy that doesn't do anything other
than provide trauma to you body and
some traction. Running shoes right
now absorb this type of energy and
return a little and waste alot through
heat and meaningless material distortion.
The same is true of throwing a grenade
you throw the grenade, it leaves you hand,
BUT you continue to rotate to the point
of failing over. The physical actions
of stopping your body from failing is just
energy wasted to slow you down.
We aren't talking about pets.com here,
these people seem to be reasonably intelligent
engineers and scientist who have given
a little thought to the matter, more than
your typical slashdot physicist no doubt
has.

Typos!

[MarkusQ]

"everyone things" --> "everyone thinks"

"for you body" --> "for your body"

"real cold" --> "realy cold"

And perhaps others. *sigh*

Typing with my eyes closed...

--MarkusQ

Bicycle Generator Lights?

[srw]

Somehow this topic reminds me of those old generator lights for bicycles. Anyone remember those? They made it so hard to pedal.

I seem to recall a simpsons episode with one of those too. Was it 7G13? I can't confirm it.

Re:Bicycle Generator Lights?

[djmurdoch]

Somehow this topic reminds me of those old generator lights for bicycles. Anyone remember those? They made it so hard to pedal.

Not if you oiled them! They weren't all that bad when they were properly maintained. I liked them better than battery-powered lights until the flashing LED lights came out, because the batteries ran out so fast. They're still the best if you actually want a headlight that you can see by; the LEDs let you be seen, but don't illuminate much.

Re:Bicycle Generator Lights?

[Anonymous Coward]

Posted by beqteq because my password hasnt arrived yet its anonymous coward

Bicycle generators sucked yes this is true and when not oiled they sucked even worse. However if we think about improving things such as bicycle generators we would incorporate LED technology with a white diode array and be much happier with a better mouse trap with some better bearings and less friction. Hence make it more efficient and the drain will be less noticleable, so as the technology used to make people powered devices gets better the less intrusive it will be and the less energy it will need. Yet at the same time the devices powered by people should evolve not into parasites but symbiants like the metachloriates and we can then listen to our stolen music just by sitting on our fat asses and doing nothing at all. Remember "work" doesnt mean actually doing what your boss tells you to do. We are technically working just by breathing and having our hearts pumping. So if thats all the work that the iPod 9000 needs then we are working at an optimal level of functionality just by listening to the music. Hey maybe even add the flywheel idea into the equation in the form of a battery. Remember hybrid, take some of each right so have a li ion battery that is charged while you walk from your car to the office or while you walk around the office avoiding the boss. Really I see no reason why people powered devices should become parasitic. IF we engineer them properly they will only use what cannot be used by us for our own benefit and thus we will see benefit from what we would have otherwise wasted.

i'll be first in line

[Anonymous Coward]

limited battery life is the bane of my mobile existence. i'd love to have some of these gadgets recharge my wearable computer while going about my day. gimme a stillsuit and a nutrient IV and i could go for weeks at a time without having to worry about what to do for dinner.

It's not still suit....

[thermowax]

it's stilsuit. http://www.darkholmekeep.net/dune/stilsuit.cfm

Sorry. It's one of my favorite books. Yes, books. :)

thermowax

its a very early to say herbert was wrong.

[Anonymous Coward]

I seem to remember that there is a
location in southern saudia arabia
which is so dangerously arid and
large that aircraft overflights are
forbidden due to the danger associated
with rescue. In scientific american
a research team went there in airconditioned
humvees looking for an ancient
meteorite strick(and found it). They
also had airconditioned suits with
hoods. If you want to see a more
accurate rendering of a stillsuit look
at the scifi miniseries version of dune.
Less cool looking, but more functional.
I seem to remember that aside from water
reclaimation the suits in dune provided
evaporative cooling that was better than
cotton through the use of advanced
breathable fabrics etc,... kind of a
goretex 30,000AD.

Thermo-Life Battery

[inKubus]

Applied Digital Solutions supposedly has this new body heat powered body availible to buy. Pretty cool little device. Supposedly they are going to be supplying it for some new watch that does all kinds of neat stuff like GPS and CDMA..

It's called Thermo-Life. I think it's here.

How about other species?

[sadclown]

Why bother trying to harvest energy from humans when you could harvest energy from horses, pit-bulls, cheetahs, anacondas, kangaroos, dairy cows, or houseflies? Fill an square mile of Nevada with houseflies wired to a generator and feed them sewage. How many small towns would that power? PETA would have a conniption fit, but most people have no sympathy for this easily enslaved species.
Through this logic, the Matrix can be seen as a metaphor for human domination over farm animals.

Re:How about other species?

[flewp]

Cheetahs would probably work pretty good actually. They generate quite a bit of heat while running, so this device could maybe draw away the excess body heat, allowing it to continue running for quite a bit. But then we'd have to keep it well fed, and is meat a better fuel source than our present ones...?

It's a shame you didn't read the article.

[Eevee]

Or you would have seen the following right after the 81W for a sleeping person.

But of course there's not 100% capture. Body heat, for example, can only be converted with 3% efficiency with current thermoelectric materials.

Strange, isn't it. It's almost as if they knew what they were talking about.

it has been around for quite a while...

[TH4L35]

Self-winding watches are a neat invention that have been around for quite some time.
The following quote comes from http://www.europastar.com/ESWatch/watchtech/automa .html (via google).

7. Who invented the automatic watch? The modern rotor system was developed and patented by Rolex and introduced into the Oyster line as the Oyster Perpetual in 1931. Emile Borer, Rolex's technical chief at the time, is credited with inventing the modern rotor system.
The person who first developed a rotor, however, was Abraham-Louis Perrelet (1729-1826), one of Switzerland's greatest watchmakers. Perrelet is considered the father of the automatic watch. He introduced the concept in 1770 and was way ahead of his time since the invention was better suited to wristwatches. Perrelet lived in the pocket watch era and, because the watches did not move much in pockets, the rotor system did not perform so well. The rotor did not move around enough to wind the mainspring sufficiently.
Abraham-Louis Breguet (1747-1823) improved self-winding watches; he called them "perpetuelles" (the likely source of Rolex's term). Other watchmaking greats of the 19th century advanced the concept. But it wasn't until wristwatches became popular after World War I and Rolex perfected its system that automatics came into their own.

The neat part is that because pocket watches were so popular at the time, the self-winders didn't have much of a chance to show off their advantages.

I'm surprised noone's seen the irony of this yet.

[edunbar93]

Is this life imitating art, or is it fiction making accurate predictions about science?

I am of course, talking about The Matrix. I just hope that when they start making bioelectric power plants, they use cows instead of people. ;)

wasteful, eh?

[imaginate]

Did anyone else think that it was ironic that the article starts out by callin the human body an "inefficient, energy-wasting machine"?

The energy we waste is orders of magnitude below any machine that humans have built; if we were to create a machine that did half of what the human body did with current technology, I guarantee you that it would lose a helluva lot more in heat than we do.

Besides which, the heat that we generate makes possible our ability to keep chemical reactions going that are WORTH the heat expenditure. Sure, it may be wasteful to eat a thousand calorie meal to power us for six hours, but show me an mp3 player that can power itself off something so readily available as plant material or a loaf of bread before starting to argue that our ability to convert energy from diverse sources results in a wasteful process. In other words, I'd rather be able to be omnivorous and waste a lot of that energy than to need to be powered off electricity that can only come from sources like burned fossil fuel (and we waste a HUGE amount of energy when we harness that power).

If you ask me, the human body is remarkably EFFICIENT, because of the elements it can use for power, and because the wasted energy that is derived from those elements is minimal in comparison to the waste from, say, and Athlon processor.

What they're ACTUALLY doing in this article is trying to harness the efficiency of the human body, not its inefficiency. It's easier to feel a soldier an extra couple of peanuts a day and let them power all their devices than it is to try to use lousy, lossy batteries to do the same work.

Re:I'm surprised noone's seen the irony of this ye

[imaginate]

um, that irony is mentioned in the first page of the article. check out my other post for the REAL irony of the article... (hint, it's the post after yours)

drinking reclaimed water???

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm not too sure I'd want to drink water reclaimed from liquid and solid waste. Still suits are cool to read about in a novel, but I'll stick to spring water, thank you.

Re:drinking reclaimed water???

[david duncan scott]

Ah, but upstream from you bears and wombats and whatnot are peeing in your spring.

shock absorbing power recapture

[Anonymous Coward]

actually, after super-leaping the chasm, your boots will absorb the shock of landing and use the force to compress a gas, from which another device reclaims the energy. The recaptured energy should (theoretically) be sufficient to land three or four super-kicks to the mutant lizard-men on the other side, before you make it to the hypercopter.

Re:shock absorbing power recapture

[david duncan scott]

Ah, but you're assuming that I would land on my boots. Those shock absorbers would need to be mounted on my head and rump to do me any good.

On the plus side, the noisy spectacle of my impact might distract the lizard-men long enough for you and the scantily-clad heroine to slip by them unnoticed (in spite of your boyish charm and her chromium bustierre.)

Weight loss?

[Velex]

I dunno, but depending on how you harvest energy, could you start to force your body to metabolize more and lose weight? I mean, it would be uber31337 if I could lose weight by listening to MP3s, don't you think?

Sure, I would gladly wear this suit to get a job..

[chanio]

At least, proletarians are going to become useful at last.

As I allways thought, people has the last truth.

These days wake up our darkest side of life...

Make Felons Cells rather than put them in cells

[Anonymous Coward]

posted by beqteq but no password in my inbox means it says Anonymous Coward. beqteq@yahoo.com

I think I have a way to stop both prison overcrowding, criminals and supply cheap power to everyone. If we can get the technology nicely refined we could simply use prisoners who are otherwise useless and the cancer of society, even better use the ones who people like our president put to death because they are supposedly not capable of reform or whatever.

Now they could be use to generate watts for everyone else. They could give back to society what they consumed before and give 20 years of electricity in 8 hour shifts. Hey thats a pretty good deal for someone who is on death row. Generate power for everyone or die, hmmm I think they might choose a 20 year contract with one of the many power companies as a cell rather than in a cell. I see this as a good way to give less developed nations power grids and to clean up the trash of their society plus lower the cost of electricty everywhere and stop pollution. Its an all in wonder plan and everyone benefits.

SO make them Cells rather than putting them in Cells.

-Phil

For those who don't know what stillsuits are...

[mshomphe]

Stillsuits were probably popularized (dunno if the first occurance was) in the series Dune by Frank Herbert. They are body suits that collect bodily excretions, extract the water, and enable the wearer to drink the recycled water. Well-suited for living on the desert planet of Arakkis.

I remember an old article. . .

[Anonymous Coward]

from some sci-fi publication about the size of Readers Digest in which people who would go to rock concerts would be given a little strip of metallic substance which they would place on their foreheads.

The singer would wear a body suit lined with wires. The singer would receive the energy from the crowd through this suit which would then power the mic and such.

The singer could keep in contact with the board person since this person had to control the amount of energy that the suit was receiving (think a metal mesh with electricity running through it).

Anyway, the story is about this female singer who wants to kill herself and is finally able to enlist the aid of the board guy who overloads the mesh suit (crispy critter comes to mind).

If anyone can remember the name of the story and/or the author, it would be appreciated.