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Uber Geeks Holiday Gift Guide
Johann Ramirez sent us
Hardware Extreme's Christmas Wishlist which has tons of lust worthy objects that you have seen on Slashdot in the past, and several more that will make you feel strange things in your loins that might be unhealthy in the context of electronics. I want me
a head mounted monitor and this wall mounted stereo santa!
Audiophile-quality "HO HO HO"?
Obligatory dolphin post:
Humans rule, dolphins can suck it!
This month's Maximum PC has gear of the year, as well as a geek shopping guide. Cool stuff in there. I just want a 60 inch plasma monitor.
I hate sigs.
The day my daughter was born was the happiest day of my life. One week later all of my joy turned to sorrow when my wife was killed in an auto accident on the way to the doctor. She was crossing an intersection when a car hit her from the side. She never even knew what happened. The car hit the driver's side and she was killed instantly. Maybe that was for the best because at least she didn't suffer. The driver of the other car simply didn't see the light change. One moment of inattentiveness cost the life of the women I loved. I was devastated. With a good job, a beautiful daughter, and the rest of our lives ahead of us, it was suddenly all gone. I was numb for months. Fortunately my boss was very understanding. With a newborn at home and my wife gone my work hours were strange to say the least. Eventually he agreed to set up all of the necessary equipment for me to work from home. With a powerful computer and a fast network connection I was able to develop software at home during the hours that I wasn't caring for my baby. My productivity actually increased and my boss agreed that this was a good permanent solution for me. This way I could be with my little girl and still have my career. Little Samantha was rapidly becoming my life. Here was the only real connection to my wife. Together we had produced this precious and beautiful child and now it was a living link to the woman I loved.
Being at home with the baby almost all of the time made it difficult to maintain contact with my friends and coworkers. By the end of the first month at home my contact with them was limited to email and chat room conversations. Somehow with as much as I had to do to keep up work and the baby it seemed very natural that I not have much contact with others. I suppose this is how it all started. Two months after the accident I was reading email from a good friend who asked if I was lonely. It suddenly occurred to me that I had not even thought about sex in the last two months. With the shock of the accident and the ever present needs of a baby girl I simply had not had time to listen to my body. While Sam was sleeping quietly in the crib that I kept in the computer room, I started thinking about the last time I had made love to my wife. Trying to block out the pain of her passing I remembered what a wonderful sexual relationship we shared. She was always willing to experiment with new things and showed both creativity and skill in our love making. Voraciously oral after being introduced to that pleasure, there was nothing she loved better than swallowing my warm seed. One playful evening after we had been eating watermelon, one thing led to another and we ended up naked on the floor of the living room. As we started to make love she squealed and said that we had to stop for a minute so that she could pee. Since she was already really juicy I told her to not bother wiping afterwards. Still feeling playful I followed my wife into the bathroom and watched as she took a very satisfying piss. Feeling a little kinky she said that would feel better if she could wipe. Cocking an eyebrow she wondered if we could think up a way to clean herself off that wouldn't dry her wonderful juices. I told her to stand up and lean back a little. I then proceeded to lick her clean. Although a little pungent I found both the taste and the aroma of her piss very arousing. By that time my hard-on was throbbing so hard I was getting dizzy from lack of blood! I picked my wife up, threw her onto the bed, and practically raped her. Surprised at how turned on I had gotten we talked a little bit about what had happened. We agreed that it might be interesting to try out some water sports. I told her that now might be a good time to think about starting since I was starting to get excited again and the watermelon had already run through me as well. Hearing this she jumped up and headed back to the bathroom. Once there she stepped into the tub, sat down, and said "OK, loverboy, piss on me!" By that time I really had to go but I also had a first-class hard-on. I stood next to the tub and concentrated on relaxing enough to pee. At first just a dribble came out but that was quickly followed by a fountain of piss that showered down all over her body. Suddenly she leaned over and put her mouth just above my penis. There was no way I could stop peeing at that point so I just watched as my urine shot straight up into her mouth and back out. I could see that she was actually swallowing some of it! By the time I was done peeing I was ready to take her again. Instead she just popped my erection into her mouth and started pumping away. I must have lasted all of ten strokes before I was shooting an enormous load into her mouth. She swallowed all of it before looking up and giving me a big grin. "Nice!", she said. "Piss and cum mix very well!". I couldn't believe what I was hearing!!
From that day on she took every opportunity to mix her special cocktail. We bought a special container that we kept in the master bathroom just for piss. We never used the toilet when we were home, instead we both peed into the container. In the evenings or on weekends she would have me masturbate into the container. She then proceeded to drink down her favorite beverage. She claimed that it was good for her skin. Who was I to argue. I thought she never looked better! I think that the kinkiest thing we did happened one weekend. I had just taken my first piss of the day into our clean bucket (we always started each day with the container cleaned) when my wife jumped me. We made passionate love and I ended up dumping my load in her pussy. After a bit of cuddling she got up with a funny look in her eyes and headed for the bathroom. Curious what she had in mind I followed her. She grabbed the contained and put it on the ground. Squatting over it she opened her pussy lips with her fingers and let my cum dribble directly from her cunt into the bucket. When she was done she picked up the bucket, swirled around the mixture of juices, and smiling proceeded to drink the whole thing. When she was done she daintily wiped her mouth and said, "It's always best when both are warm.."
As I remembered these things I found that I had gotten an enormous hard-on. Realizing that this was the first time that I had an erection in months I decided to do something about it. Making sure Sam was still asleep I took off my shorts and underwear. Since I did not want to make a mess I went and got a towel. Leaning back in my chair I continued to remember all of the kinky things that my wife and I had done. Before I knew what was happening I had a tremendous orgasm. I thanked forethought for saving a mess and used the towel to clean up. Just then Sam made a sound and rolled over from her side to her back. Going over to her crib I looked down at that pristine smile and loved her all the more knowing that she had been the product of some wild and wonderful love-making session with my wife. Feeling something I looked down and saw that there was a large drop of cum oozing from the end of my penis. Reaching back to grab the towel I stopped. A crazy though had entered my head. Maybe it was being alone for so long with only a baby. Maybe it was that I missed my wife so much and all of the wonderful things we used to do. I'm still not sure why I did it but I used my finger to scoop up the blob of sperm and I put it onto Sam's lips. I'll never forget how she licked her lips in her sleep and the cum disappeared into her mouth. Suddenly I was raging hard again. Not really understanding what I was doing I reached for one of Sam's bottles. In just a few strokes I was cumming with ferocious intensity into the bottle. I put it down and then cleaned up with the towel. I went to the kitchen and mixed some formula into the bottle containing my seed. I set this down next to Sam's crib and waited.
It was another 40 minutes before Sam realized that she was done sleeping. Her cries roused me from my own dozing and I went over to her crib. As soon as she saw me she stopped crying and smiled. I picked her up and cuddled her to me. Sensing that she was fidgety I set her down and checked her diaper. Since it was dry I assumed that she was hungry. Grabbing my special bottle of formula I went into the kitchen and used the microwave to warm the bottle. Sam knew what was coming and was very excited. I checked to make sure the mixture wasn't too hot and then gently placed the bottle at her lips. Suddenly presented with food Sam started to suckle strongly. With just a twinge of guilt I watched as she drank the whole bottle, seed and all. I felt weak. I was confused by what I had done but very turned on. I decided to watch Sam very carefully to make sure that she was not going to be adversely effected by her new formula mix. I fed her only the normal mix for the rest of that day and watched closely for any signs of discomfort on her part. When she had gone for nearly 48 hours without showing any indication that my new formula mix had caused her problems I decided to try again. This time I only mixed half a bottle of formula to my one load. The liquid was noticeably thicker. When I gave it to Sam she didn't seem to mind or even notice any difference in her food. She very happily sucked each bottle down to nothing.
This became a regular part of my daily routine. At least once a day I would mix a bottle of my special cocktail for Sam. As the weeks went by I would mix in less and less of the formula until one day I decided to try something different. Sam was at the point where she was able to roll herself over and sort of scoot herself around. I put her down on the ground and then removed my pants and underwear. Already very excited at the thought of what I was about to do I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen and went back to keep an eye on Sam. She seemed perfectly content to sit on the ground and wobble. Watching her I slowly stroked myself to an orgasm. Catching almost all of my cum in the bowl I cleaned up a bit and then sat down next to Sam. Excited at having someone to play with Sam giggled and scooted over to me. I picked her up and sat her down on the floor between my legs. Reaching for the bowl and the spoon I had brought along just for this purpose I scooped up a bit of my sperm and brought it to Sam's mouth. Not thinking that this was anything unusual Sam opened up and I popped the spoon right in. Since the flavor was familiar to her (if a bit stronger) she just swallowed it down without a problem. My heart was pounding as I scooped up all of my sperm and fed it to my lovely daughter while sitting there on the floor.
Once I was finished I leaned over to place the bowl and spoon on a table. As I was leaning Sam lost her balance and sort of plopped down on all fours. This put her face at eye level with my crotch. Being distracted by my attempt to put the bowl on the table I was therefor very surprised to feel something warm and wet on my penis. Sam had done what all babies do when confronted with something new. She had put my penis into her mouth! Well, ok, not the whole thing. At 6" (while hard) I wasn't huge but there was no way that any part of my little friend could fit into Sam's mouth. She was sort of sucking on the side just below the head. I just sat there watching her explore for a few minutes when I had an idea.
As my daughter played with my penis I started to grow hard again. She continued to grab and suck on the side of my erection as it grew to full size. I sat her up again and then knelt in front of her bringing the end of my penis to her mouth. She reached out with her little hands and brought the end to her lips and began to suck and nibble. Not having any teeth there was certainly no discomfort on my part. As she drooled all over the end of my dick I was slowly stroking myself towards an orgasm. Since I had only cum about 10 minutes ago I didn't think I would have too large of a load. Being as excited as I was it only took me a few minutes to build to my climax. With a quiet moan I released my load into my daughter's mouth directly. Suddenly confronted with what she thought of as food Sam began to suckle as best she could. What she was unable to swallow ended up dripping out of her mouth and collecting on her chin. After my final squirt I gently pulled the tip of my penis away from Sam's mouth and rested back on my heels to look at my daughter. She seemed confused at the sudden lack of something to play with and sort of just stared at me. Realizing the enormity of what I had just done I came to a final decision. Standing up quickly I went into the next room and got my digital camera. When I returned to Sam she was still sitting with cum dripping off of her chin. She seemed to have just discovered this and had started to play with it. Now there were streamers of cum between her chin and her little hands. I started to take some pictures as she seemed to realize that what she was playing with was also good to eat. She then proceeded to stuff as much of the gooey material into her mouth as she could. Once done she looked up at me with a precious smile, cum still lightly coating her face and hands. I snapped a few more shots and then took a warm wash cloth and cleaned her up.
From that day on things started changing. Instead of putting Sam into her crib at night I made sure that she slept with me. It became normal practice for me to feed Sam a fresh load both in the evening and first thing in the morning. To her it seemed a perfectly normal thing to suck down the biggest load I could give her.
My collection of pictures which started on that first occasion also began to grow. I would put Sam on the bed and then masturbate over her body. She would end up completely showered with my cum which I thought made a wonderful picture. I also decided at that point to start documenting her body. At first I would simply snap a few shots of her lying naked on the bed. Then I began exploring her little cunny. With her on her back I would spread her legs wide and take close-ups. Using my finger I would very gently spread her tiny cunt lips to expose both her tiny hole and the little bump of her clitty.
It was during one of these photo sessions when I got curious and decided to taste my daughter's pussy. While she giggled and cooed I gently ran my tongue over her slit and clitty. She seemed to enjoy this a great deal so I continued doing this for awhile. Suddenly I was rewarded with a stream of fresh little girl piss in my mouth. Although surprised I found that I enjoyed it a great deal. Drinking as much as I could I then proceeded to lick her clean. Suddenly I realized something. Picking Sam up and putting her on a clean blanket on the floor I went to the bathroom. I opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out the container that my wife and I had used to hold our piss. I thoroughly cleaned and dried it and then went back to the room where my daughter was playing. As she scooted around the room I took a piss into the container. Taking one of her bottles I poured some of the warm golden fluid inside. I put the cap onto the bottle and then picked up my daughter. She fidgeted for a moment until I brought the bottle to her lips. She latched onto the nipple and started to suckle. Without any hesitation she emptied the bottle. I was elated! Here was my little daughter drinking my piss like apple juice.
I made up my first cocktail that night. It was a great success. Sam seemed to genuinely enjoy the mix of my cum with my piss. I discovered that this was only true when both were fresh and warm, however, so I always made sure that she got the freshest combination I could provide.
She was growing quickly and developing her motor skills very rapidly. She said her first word at 7 months which I am proud to say was "Dada". As she learned to crawl and then to walk holding onto various objects I continue feeding her a regular mix of both cocktails and my sperm direct from the source. I also continued to lick her cute little pussy on a regular basis.
When she was 18 months old I talked with my boss and told him that I wanted to move out of the suburbs where I was living to a more natural setting. My excuse was that I wanted my daughter to grow up with more space. He agreed since I rarely came into the office anyway and the net connection was sufficiently fast to allow my work to continue. I began looking and found a property on over 30 acres of land. Most of it was forest land and the house was very secluded.
Sam and I moved there and quickly settled in. Since it was summer and we were so secluded I decided that there was no reason for either of us to wear clothing. The yard was a beautiful 3/4 acre of green grass that was surrounded by a chain fence. The former owners had two large dogs which needed roaming space and confinement. It was perfect for us. Sam loved to explore the yard and I made sure that there was nothing around which could hurt her.
She had just turned two and was developing quite a vocabulary when she first asked for her snack on her own. Since we were always naked she could see me making up her cocktails and, of course, she would still take my load directly once or twice a day. By this age she was well into solid food but she still had a special bottle at least once a day, normally during dinner. I was sitting on the front porch watching her run around the yard when she came over and asked if she could have a snack. Thinking that she wanted some crackers I started to get up. She looked a bit confused and again asked for a snack. This time, however, she reached out and grabbed my penis. Suddenly understanding what she wanted I sat back down. She stood between my legs and put my penis into her mouth. Up to that point I had always been the one to stroke myself to an orgasm. This time, however, I told her that if she wanted a snack she needed to know how make one for herself. I took her little hands and showed her how to slowly rub up and down on my cock. Just the thought of what was happening took me to the edge and with the help of her hands I had a very powerful orgasm in just a few minutes. She had grown very adept at sucking down every drop and, as usual, nothing spilled out of her mouth. When I had finished my orgasm and she had finished swallowing she turned around and started back to play in the yard. I asked her what she should say and she turned around and said "Thank you" before continuing back to the yard.
From then on I would only provide her snack when she wanted it. She would normally approach me at least twice a day for a treat. At one point she asked if she could mix her treat with her food at dinner. Not being one to criticize another persons culinary desires I stood up and masturbated onto her plate of noodles for her. She very happily (and messily) slurped up both the noodles and my cum. 'Cum noodles' became one of her favorite foods to eat, and one of my favorite foods to prepare.
I continued the tradition of taking pictures of her on a regular basis. She was old enough to help on her own and knew that when she saw me with the camera she should pose for me. It was nothing for her to plop down on the grass, spread her legs wide, and hold open her little cunt lips open for me. She would pee into the air or allow me to cum in her mouth at a moments notice. I loved the shots of her with her mouth wide open and full of a fresh load of my cum.
One day I decided to start experimenting with something new. Since I was still licking her little slit on a regular basis (and still occasionally drinking her piss) I knew that her little hole was very small and tight. Since I would never think of causing my little girl any pain I decided to find out if she could put anything into her little pussy herself.
While taking pictures in the house I had her lay on her back with her legs spread. I put a little vaseline around her hole and on the little finger of her left hand. I placed the fingertip at the entrance to her little vagina and told her to see if she could make her finger disappear. Seeming a bit confused at first I helped her out a bit my gently putting pressure on her finger and watching the tip slip into her hole. She suddenly understood and began trying to put her finger in on her own. I started snapping away while she sat up and watched as part of her finger disappeared into her body. She seemed fascinated by this.
For at least ten minutes she would pull her finger out and push it back in to about the second knuckle of her pinkie, watching how it would disappear into her cunt. For my part I was incredibly excited and asked Sam if she wanted a snack. Coming back to reality for a minute she nodded yes and I popped the end of my penis into her mouth. I let loose my load within minutes and sat back and watched as she went back to playing her new game.
She remained fascinated with her ability to make her fingers disappear. I encouraged her to play her game as often as she wanted and even kept the vaseline jar open so that she could take a swipe whenever she wanted to. I told her that it might be fun for her to try different fingers and within a few weeks she could put any of her fingers (including her thumb) all the way into her vagina.
At this point I introduced her to placing other objects into her pussy. I made it very clear that she was only to use things which I provided and that she must always wash them with soap and water before using them. One day I called her into another room where I was working. When she ran in I noticed something between her legs. When I asked her what it was she looked down and said it was one of her toys. She then proceeded to lay on the ground and spread her legs showing me the smooth dowel that I had given her firmly embedded in her cunt. She had apparently been playing with it and had not bothered to take it out when I called her into the room. I made this a new game for her. That she should walk around as often as possible with something sticking out of her cunt. I showed her how important it was that before she start to walk around the object be pushed in as deeply as was comfortable to prevent it from coming out. She thought this was a fun idea and took it very seriously always keeping something inside and showing me often. I would praise her when she showed me and playfully pull them out so that I could watch her put them back inside.
I was slowly increasing the diameter of her play things. By the time she was 3 1/2 years old she was able to put a small dildo inside and walk around with it for hours. I changed the rules a bit by introducing her to anal penetration. Using the same method as before I got her into walking around with things inside both her pussy and ass. I always made sure that she never swapped the two. But it wasn't an issue since the dowel in her ass was initially so much smaller than what she could put into her pussy.
By this time we were also getting into potty training. When she had to poo we would bring her to the bathroom and use a small child's toilet. But when she had to pee we made it a special occasion. I had bought a special basin which she would squat over to pee. When she was done we would pour the frothy liquid into her special pee glass and then she would drink it while it was still warm. She understood that this was a special drink that only she could produce. It was also at this time that I started making sure that she understood that my cum was a special drink that only I could produce. And that it was something that could only be shared between a father and a daughter.
When Sam was five I went to our local authorities and petitioned for the right to school her at home. There was no problem with doing this with the understanding that once each year Sam would undergo some standardized tests to make sure that she was making adequate progress. I obtained as much documentation as possible about the required studies of a kindergarten through second-grader and prepared to start Sam's more formal education.
Since so much of our life was a game to Sam I decided to continue to use this approach for her academics. This proved very effective and she began quickly mastering the alphabet, numbers, tying her shoes, and all of the other very important skills normally required of a 5-year-old.
Since it helped to have a routine for learning we would begin the day by having lessons and games which helped her develop skills. I would create lessons for her to work on while I would be working and she would come and ask questions about things as she needed help. I found that Sam's mind was very quick and that she seemed to enjoy a slightly more formalized approach to learning. I also noticed that she seemed surprisingly focused for so young a child.
Since we were evolving into a routine around learning I decided to include some new skill sets that she could work on developing. By this time it was normal for her to wander around for most of the day with a 5" dildo in her vagina and a 3" dildo in her ass. I told her that it was important that she learn how to avoid relying on things like vaseline. Using the excuse that it was better to avoid artificial materials whenever possible I suggested that she always use her own saliva or urine to lubricate her toys when she put them in. I emphasized that for her pussy she could use either liquid but for her anal toys she could only use piss. I didn't want her to be licking anything that had been in her ass. After that I would often see her pull the dildo out of her vagina and put it in her mouth to make it wetter.
At this time I also went out and bought a series of dildos which started at about the same size as the one she was using and got gradually longer and wider. I showed her the collection of dildos and assigned her the task of learning gradually how to make them fit inside of her. I told her that it was up to her how quickly she progressed and that the most important thing about it was that she never be uncomfortable. Once I had explained her assignment she asked when she should start. I told her that she could begin anytime that she was ready. At that she sat down and slipped the dildo out of her pussy. Grabbing the next larger instrument she coated it with her saliva and started trying to slip it in. I told her that I was very proud to see her learning such important things and then left her to work on her own.
By the end of three months Sam had progressed very quickly in her studies. She was already beyond what the normal kindergarten curriculum actually required of students and was moving into the first grade material. She had also gotten to the point that she could easily insert the largest of the dildos into her pussy. I remember the first time that she was able to do it. I heard a scream of joy and then she ran into my office yelling "I did it, Daddy! Look!" She then dropped to the ground, spread her legs, and pointed at her crotch. Neatly embedded in her little cunt was a 6 1/2" dildo. I praised her and once again told her how proud I was of her progress. I asked her whether or not she was comfortable with her new toy inside of her. She said that she felt a little full and stretched but it wasn't too bad. I told her that now it was important to become very comfortable with this size toy. She was to be able to pop it in and out without feeling any discomfort. She promised to try very hard and I picked her up and hugged her.
I told her that since she had been working and studying so hard that we needed to take a break. I suggested that we go for a walk in the woods together and she thought that was a great idea. Since we weren't sure who might be in the woods we decided to get dressed before leaving. It was a beautiful day out with just a mild breeze. The sunlight dappled the forest floor which was soft to walk on because of all of the leaves which fell from the trees throughout the years. We walked for about half an hour before Sam announced that she was very thirsty and that she had to pee. When she realized that we didn't have her special container for her to pee in she became upset. She didn't want to waste any of her pee because she felt it was too special. I told her that if you had to waste it every now and then because of very special circumstances that it was ok. I suggested that she just lift up her dress (she never wore panties) and pee wherever she wanted to. Looking around she found a nice spot a few feet off of the trail that we had been following. She bunched her dress around her waist, squatted down, and let loose with a lovely stream of piss. When she was done she announced that she was still very thirsty. I told her that I also had to pee and that we could solve both problems at once. I told her to kneel down in front of me and to take out my penis. Once she had done this I had her cover the tip of my dick with her mouth. I then told her that I would piss very slowly so that she could swallow when she needed to. I gently relaxed and slowly dribbled my urine into her mouth. I would stop whenever I felt her swallow and then continued until I was done. She licked my penis and then put it away for me. Standing up she smiled beautifully and said that she wasn't thirsty anymore. With that she ran away shouting "Can't catch me, can't catch me!". I took off after her and we spent a lovely afternoon exploring the woods.
Later that week I asked how she was doing with her toy. She told me that she was very comfortable walking around with it and that it didn't feel very tight anymore. I asked her to show me and she came over and laid down on the floor in front of me. The dildo was nicely placed inside of her pussy. I asked if she could move it at all and she grabbed the end and started to slide it in and out. I told her I was very excited about it and asked if she was ready to try a new game. She asked what type of game and I told her that she was ready to do something very special with her Daddy. I told her to take the dildo out of her pussy and to follow me to our bedroom. Once there I told her that we were going to try using my penis like one of her toys. I had her lie back on the bed with her legs spread. I spent about five minutes licking her little cunt and getting it nice and wet. I then had her sit up and lick and suck my penis until it was both hard and wet. Then I laid on my back with my penis sticking straight up. I told her that she should try putting my dick into her pussy by slowly sitting down on it. She smiled and told me that it should be easy since her latest toy was bigger than my penis. With that she crawled onto the bed with me. She stood up and put one leg on either side of my hips. She squatted down and grabbed my penis. Placing the head of my dick against her wet opening she slowly lowered herself. I groaned as I watched inch by inch of my penis disappear into her pussy. I was in heaven. I hadn't been inside a woman in over five years and this was unbelievable. I resisted the urge to buck my hips up to meet her because I wanted to make sure that she got it in at her own pace. Within just a few minutes I was buried to the hilt in my five-year-old daughter.
She looked down at me and smiled saying, "See Daddy, that was easy!". I was so turned on that I could barely contain myself. I suggested that she try bouncing up and down to see what it felt like. She lifted herself up a few inches and then came back down again. I groaned and she asked if I was alright. I told her that I liked that way that felt on my penis. She smiled and started to bounce up and down. It only took about 30 seconds of that before I grabbed her by the hips and pulled her tightly down on my cock and shot a huge load into her pussy. She asked what had happened and I told her that I had hidden her treat inside of her.
With that she stood up slowly, releasing my still erect penis from her small cunt with a pop. Seeing that my penis was covered in cum she quickly laid down and licked it clean. When I asked her where the rest of her treat was she that she could feel it inside of her. I told her to show me and she flipped around and spread her legs. Her little cunt lips were closed tightly. She told me that she was holding it inside so that she didn't loose any of it. I asked her how she planned to eat it and she looked perplexed for a moment. Then her face brightened and she said "With a spoon!". I got off of the bed and went into the kitchen. I got one of her baby spoons and brought it back to the bedroom. She was still laying back with her legs spread and waiting for me. I warmed the spoon until it was almost hot to the touch and then gave it to her. She sat up and tried to see how to get the spoon into her pussy. I reached over for a small mirror and positioned it so that she could see the opening. She relaxed her pussy enough to let the spoon slip inside. I watched as she brought it back out holding a mouthful of my cream which she then proceeded to eat. Kicking myself for letting this photo opportunity almost pass I asked her to wait for just a minute and ran for my camera. When I returned I had her take a few more spoonfuls out of her pussy while I snapped away. I then slipped a pillow underneath her ass. This positioned her so that her cunt slit was almost horizontal. I had her use both hands to spread herself as wide as possible and also to relax her pussy muscles. Her little opening slowly relaxed into a small hole. I told her to push a bit and watched as I was rewarded with the site of a big blob of my own cum oozing out of my daughters pussy. I snapped away as I told her to use her fingers to feed herself her snack. She pushed out as much cum as possible and transferred it to her mouth. She commented that it tasted differently than normal. When I asked if she enjoyed the taste, she told me that she thought it was better! I picked her up and hugged her tightly telling her how much I loved her and how happy she made me.
From that day on we made love as often as possible. Sam figured out quickly that the best way to be sure to get all of my sperm out of her little pussy was to keep her piss bowl near. When we were done she would squat over the bowl, open herself with her fingers, and push my load out. She would then eat it with a spoon or just use her fingers to scoop it up into her mouth. Sometimes if she had to go or she just felt thirsty she would finish letting my cum drain from her and then piss into the bowl. After mixing my cum and her piss together in the bowl with her fingers she would drain the whole thing in just a few gulps.
She became my little love slave. I would never have to ask her twice to suck me off or spread her legs so that I could fuck her. And she absolutely NEVER wasted my cum. She always managed to find a way to make sure she ate it.
She was actually the one who asked whether she could try using my dick in her ass instead of one of her toys. I saw that she had worked up her anal toys until they were almost as large as my penis. I told her that we could certainly try but that since she had not yet reached a large enough size we should use some vaseline to make things more slippery. She slipped her toy out of her ass and then ran into the bathroom to get the vaseline. I met her coming out of the bathroom and we went to our bedroom together. She got on her hands and knees and stuck her ass back at me. I could see her little anal sphincter winking at me. I dipped my fingers into the vaseline and coated all around her asshole. I then did the same for my penis. I scooted her to the edge of the bed so that I could stand behind her with my dick at the same level as her opening. This gave me the most control so that I could go very slowly.
As I placed the head of my dick at her entrance I said, "Honey, I'm going to push very slowly. You let me know if anything feels uncomfortable, OK?"
"OK, Daddy", she replied.
I held my penis in my hand and put gentle pressure on her sphincter. Since she was already trained to relax and accept things into her ass the head popped right in. I stopped at once and just stood motionless with the head of my dick in my little girls ass.
"How is it, Honey?", I asked.
"I little tight but it feels kinda good", she said.
"How about if I just stay here and you push back, that way you can control how much is inside?", I asked.
"OK, here I go!", she said.
With that, I felt her pushing back into me. My penis started to sink into her anal cavity at a slow but steady pace.
A few minutes later she said "I can't go back any farther, Daddy". The reason for that was because there was nothing of me left outside.
"Sam, I'm all the way in. Why don't you try to move a little. We'll see how that feels for you."
She began to pull forward. My dick slipped out about two inches before she moved back towards me. Her ass was so incredibly tight! All of her training with her toys had made her large enough to take my dick inside of her without a problem. However, it didn't take away from the fact that she was small! As she pulled forward again I pulled back so that more of my penis came out of her ass. Within a few minutes we had reached the point where I was at full stroke. As I reached my orgasm I slid all the way into her and just held her in that position.
"I can feel my treat coming out!", she cried as I pumped her ass full of my cream. It took me a few minutes to just come down off of my orgasmic rush. I slowly slipped out of her ass and then lay down on the bed. She snuggled up for a few minutes and then I felt her slither down my body.
I knew what she was going to do so I said, "Honey, you shouldn't clean me up after I've been inside your bottom. You could get sick"
"But Daddy, I can't waste my treat!", she cried.
"Sweetheart, it's not wasted, it's still inside of you." I said, trying to cheer her up.
Pouting she looked at me for a minute and then said, "I don't think I'd get sick."
"Remember, dear, how I've always warned you not to lick your butt toys? The reason was that you could catch a bug from them."
"But Daddy, I have licked them before...."
I was stunned. I asked her to explain.
"Well, one day I was walking around with one of my newer, bigger butt toys inside when it fell out", she said. "I picked it up and was trying to get it back in but it was not slippery enough. I didn't have to pee and I remembered what you said about not using my spit but I didn't want to bother you since you were working real hard on the computer so I just stuck it in my mouth and got it all wet before putting it back inside."
"When was that, dear", I asked suddenly getting very concerned about Sam's health.
"Months ago, daddy", she said.
"And have you done that any more?", I asked.
"Oh, every day since then. I kind of like the taste of it so I just kept doing it."
I tried to recall if Sam had been sick at all during the last few months but she had always seemed fine.
"Have you felt bad at all after doing that, Sam?"
"No Daddy, I feel fine!", she said. "Can I please clean you off now?" she pleaded with those puppy dog eyes which no father can ever resist.
"Well, since it seems ok I guess you can", I said.
"Yippee!" and with that she stuffed my dick into her mouth and proceeded to clean me thoroughly.
Once done she got up and said, "I still have your treat in me and I wanna eat it!" I thought about it for a few minutes and told her to wait there. I went into the kitchen and got a plate. Coming back into the bedroom I put the plate on the ground and asked her to come over. I reached for my camera and then had her squat down as only children can so that her asshole was just above the plate. I backed up a little and told her to try to relax and let her treat come out if she could. She seemed to concentrate for a few seconds and then I saw a stream of liquid coming from her little puckered asshole and dribbling onto the plate. She did that for about 30 seconds before the stream stopped.
"I think that's all of it", she said.
Standing up she looked down at the plate and then picked it up. Apparently deciding that a spoon was not needed she just stood there in the middle of the bedroom and licked the plate clean. I snapped away as she would take a lick and come away from the plate with a streamer of sperm hanging from her chin. When she was finished there was not a drop left anywhere.
"Thank you, Daddy, that was yummy!", she said.
I put the camera down and picked her up.
"I think it's shower-time for you and me, little girl." I flipped her over my shoulder and started tickling her as we headed for the bathroom. She giggled and screamed all the way there....
After being introduced to anal sex Sam would purposely try different combinations. We would watch entire videos with her ass impaled on my dick. If I came in her pussy she would purposely take a large finger full of cum and dip it in her ass before licking it clean. While making love we would start in her pussy and end up in her ass. Sometimes I would even change holes from one to the other while actually cumming, this way depositing my seed in both places. She would then perform her squat and leak all of my cum out of each hole and claiming that this was the best taste combination of all. Sometimes she would walk around for an hour with my cum in her before she decided that she was hungry enough to eat it. She liked to keep it warm this way.
It was funny to think about my little girl. At almost six years old she was perfectly normal in almost every way. She ran and played and giggled and cried and asked questions until I couldn't come up with any more answers. And she was the most exciting lover I had ever had. Perhaps it was because of her little girl nature that I found her so exciting. It was a combination of a game for her as well as something that she knew made her daddy feel good. Plus it was a way for her to receive her daily snacks. Since that day with her and the bottle I don't think a single day had passed that she had not swallowed at least one load of my cum. It was simply a normal part of her life which she could not imagine being without.
On her sixth birthday I baked her a cake. After singing happy birthday and cutting out a slice she asked if I could put her treat on it. I stood up and told her that I might need some help. She knelt down in front of me and took as much of me into her mouth as she could. Once hard she turned around and bent over offering me her charms. I asked her which hole she preferred and she asked for her cunny since it had a sweeter flavor. I happily fucked her beautiful little pussy until I came hard. Smiling she then put the plate containing her slice of cake on the ground, squatted over it, and allowed my cum to drip all over it. Wiping her little slit with her fingers and licking them clean, she then sat back down at the table and proceeded to enjoy her birthday cake.
Copyright © 1997, Little Love. ALL Rights Reserved
This story may not be reproduced in any form for profit without the written permission of the author. This story may be freely distributed with this notice attached. The author may be contacted through mrdouble@ix.netcom.com.
The goatse guy for president. Win one for the gaper!
Is for my copy of windows xp to stop giving me the "you have encountered a fatal error, would you like to report this error to microsoft" box.
Remember that you are unique, just like everybody else.
...jobs for my friends out of work!
How to Download YouTube Videos
... when you can get the B&O BeoSound Century, which is far nicer? Of course, if you want a good stereo, rather than an aethetically pleasing one, you wouldn't get one that was wall-mounted (perhaps one from these people?), but B&O's products are quite good in terms of audio quality, given their form factor.
James F.
My problem is that i am 13 and have a wish list totalling over $3000. for some reason people laugh at me when i tell them the price of what i want. any suggestions?
It looks like Hardware Exterme's hardware wasn't extreme enough to handle slashdotting. Anybody got a mirror?
The manufacturer's page is:
http://www.personaldisplay.com/english/f_whatis
At $1000, it's pretty reasonable!
Santa, I want one
So instead of asking for yet another slab of transistors and cathode-ray tubes this holiday season, ask for something that will last, something that will make you feel happy inside as a person. Ask a loved one to give money to your favorite charity in your name (if you read Slashdot, you've been planning on making a donation to the EFF anyway, right? No excuse not to do it now, and you'll get to be cool like Wil Wheaton!). Or better yet, don't tell anyone what you want for Christmas, and then see what they get you, because those gifts are the sort that require true thought on the part of the giver, and it's the thought that counts in the end, right?
Please try to raise yourself above the primal materialism that runs rampant this time of year, and remember what the season is all about. While you may not get the l33t357 b0x, you'll be happier in the long run.
have it already for a year. a Sony Glasstron.
Great for pR0n.
--
If Microsoft is the solution, I want my problems back
For this holiday season I'd like a hot asian with glasses.
THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ
By The WIPO Troll, $Revision: 1.11 $
Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?
Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?
That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.
No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.
________________________________________
READER COMMENTS
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
CmdrTaco
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
However...
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!
by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
-Trollaxor
by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin
"Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...
by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
Excellent FP, sir.
This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
But.
Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
thanks
by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.
by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.
by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
--
CNN declares War on Islam!
Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!
by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
For more info check out this
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!
by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
--
WIL WHEATON DOT NET
by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
From: malda@slashdot.org
To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
Subject: were where you last friday?
I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
--
CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
You finding Ling-Ling's head?
by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
I do it wrong
Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
Massaging my nutsack she....
WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
"OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
"Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
I DO IT WRONG!!!!
---
All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...
by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the
I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. .
by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
The WIPO Troll
Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
Oh, man that's just sick !
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place.
by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured
by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
Where the fuck do I sign up?!
- I throw rocks at retarded kids
"Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.
by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!
by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
+5, Arousing
For more info check out this
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
WINNER>
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.
by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
WIPO trolls > linux
________________________________________
J. Wipo Troll, Esq.
Crapflooder Associates
Slashdot.org
LEGO! :))
:))
I turn 36 on xmas eve and am hoping my wife has caught onto my countless hints for Lego Mindstorms.
[rant] If you have young kids don't rot their minds with [Nintento|Xbox|DC|etc], get them books and Lego. Things that will help their young minds grow and analyze, not things that fuel ADD
i notice all the things i want are not on the list:
-A small army of followers who are dumb enough to do whatever i say.
-A thermo-nuclear war-head (Pref 600KT or more).
-A house in mexico.
-400Kg of crack cocaine.
And a puppy.
This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
the don't-tell-what-you-want thing. And I got crap.
D'oh!
Is enough bandwidth to survive a /.ing.
I just heard some sad news on talk radio - the goatse.cx guy was found dead in his home this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work and/or aren't a troll, there's no denying his contributions to Slashdot culture. Truly an Slashdot icon.
Digital Divide? The only divide Linux can bridge is the crack of my ass, when I use it to wipe my ass clean.
all i've ever wanted is 30 gigs of mp3's in my car. won't somebody buy this for a starving student?
She would look good under the tree
I got a new computer 3 years ago
(amd k6-2 350)
and I'm fine and happy with it.
I got my ATI-AIW last year for christmas, and I'm fine and happy with it.
The good it's done?
jobs?
learning?
when I was 15/16 I didn't have a good enough job to buy those kinds of things.
I'm a big retard who forgot to log out of Slashdot on Mike's computer! LOOK AT ME.
1. My @home cable modem service, which was shut off.
2. My omnisky palm service, which will soon be shut off.
Maybe I should have gone with Verizon all along
tcd004
What would be nice is a slim-profile (wall-mountable == good) stereo that doesn't cost both arms and legs and also have the silly design that Nakamichi does.
If I hang a stereo on the wall, I'm not going to want to feed discs in from the top and grope around the top edge for the play button.
slashdot effect takes hold. looks like Hardware Extreme's hosting hardware isn't too extreme.
Just raise the taxes on crack.
Get a job you loser! Start mowing lawns and getting paid under the table because you're only 13.
Only the State obtains its revenue by coercion. - Murray Rothbard
I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
Only the State obtains its revenue by coercion. - Murray Rothbard
Yes, there is a very strong current of materialism in the whole Christmas phenomenon (one reason I don't celebrate it anymore). Drooling over a flat-screen monitor is for me a bit more than crass commercialism, though. My computer is my primary work tool, and I spend many hours a day in front of it. Having a steady, flicker-free screen (as well as a good keyboard) is a health matter as much as anything else; it's less tiring and gives less headaches. Same thing with a good keyboard or a decent chair. That _is_ happiness in the long run.
/Janne
Trust the Computer. The Computer is your friend.
The tech industry is dead; everyone is broke ...
So what you're saying then is that you're too poor to buy presents for yourself and you have no friends to buy them for you?
>...adding a paltry 50MHz to our gigahertz+ processors...
Think of those less fortunate. I want to add 800MHz to my 200MHz processor, which is a bit more reasonable. And that would make me feel happy inside as a person.
My joke got modded as Insightful and my insight got modded as Funny.
The HMD described in the link is probably not ~1200x1200 pixels as they describe. Usually when they put out specs for these HMDs, you have to divide the pixel number by 3, for R G and B. So a 1.44 million pixel display is really a ~500 thousand pixel display which is more like 800x600..
I prefer this bitch. This one, too. They give good head and they sqeal like crazy when you punch 'em in the face!
J. Wipo Troll, Esq.
Crapflooder Associates
Slashdot.org
and absolutely useless gimmicks like cube-shaped computers and flat-screen monitors
Flat-screen monitors don't have flicker.
This is one *hell* of a useful improvement, especially for those of us who *have* to sit in front of a monitor all day.
Saving the desk real-estate of a CRT would be nice too.
Mmmmm, on second thought, I'll take one of these, too. Mmmm, feet...
J. Wipo Troll, Esq.
Crapflooder Associates
Slashdot.org
"It's the First-Ever 7-in-One Pocket Entertainment Center, and It Fits in the Palm of Your Hand!"
Why spend that kind of money on a pocket entertainment center when I've already got one that I can wrap my hand around?
all i really want is roughly four hours alone with my girlfriend and no interuptions. as for letting folks think real hard about what i want. good luck. no one knows me well enough. if i don't tell them what to get me i don't get diddley squat. and i don't know anyone that will accept "just donate to habitat for humanity in my name" aas a serious gift request. because they don't feel thats a real gift. they don't believe thats a gift that would make me happy. so i tell them not to get me anything. anything that i actually want is always too expensive anyway.
-
That we as a culture are so shallow to think that adding a paltry 50MHz to our gigahertz+ processors... will somehow make us happy is the tragedy of the modern age.
I completely agree... if Santa doesn't bring me something that's at least 200MHz faster, I'm going to be pissed!
Then we made a nice Christmas card with color photos of Afghanistan refugees receiving food relief, including one bearded guy with a sack of USA wheat on his back that sweetly reminded us of Santa. We explained our decision in the card, including the total amount of our contributions - not to brag about it, but so that it would be clear this was not just our cheap attempt to blow off gift-giving. We asked that the recipients consider making similar donations in lieu of their usual Christmas gifts to us. The cards went out Thanksgiving weekend.
We've received no negative reactions, and many positive ones to date. It remains to be seen whether anyone will take us up on our request to donate instead of a present, but honestly we're looking forward to a Christmas tree with absolutely zero gifts under it.
No, no, no. This is not a sig.
does that microscope look more like a Sybian with a built-in video player?
Thank you for telling me where my morals & values should be. I wasn't aware of it, but it turns out I really needed *you* to point out to me what I should be feeling & doing. Wow. I'm apparently so unworthy to make decisions on my own. Thank you for gracing us with your presence.
I know the Slashdot editorial team like to put the absolute minimum amount of effort required for this site but you'd think it's be standard practice by now to, if not actually mirror the covered site, then to at least hunt down and link the Google caced version.
What am I saying?!
These spunk weevils don't even have the wit to run a spell-checker over their 'work'.
is to pass my classes and to pay the bills. That's it, and the former can't be helped but by myself and my professors. I'm all hardware'd out. Oh yeah, and being able to have nothing to do for 4 solid weeks.
Cheers
The assasination of the person who invented the pop-up ad?! My God, how many of these stupid things must I close? I'm sorry, I couldn't finish looking at the list, I got tired of waiting for the adds to come up so I could close them.
I planned on inserting something witty here but never got around to it.
Your charity idea is worth considering tho.
"He who possesses little is so much the less possessed... Thus spoke Zarathustra."
But if your thought includes giving me another sweater, grams, just get me a book.
Because "outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." --Groucho Marx
But being 16, that's not going to happen. I got my first check Friday, and if all goes well I should be able to at least get the new computer by July. Yeah. Christmas in July.
But for now, I just want to be with my closest friends. I need a little bit of holiday cheer. When I'm with them I'd like my computer to do its part in finding the cure for cancer, but it's only avalible for Windows. Too bad it hasn't been ported to MacOS or Linux. I'd ditch SETI and use that in a heartbeat.
That Sony TV is ridiculous. Who would pay over a grand for a TUBE? Oh wait, it's flat, and it's Sony, so it must be good.
Compare it side-by-side with a similarly priced rear-projection and you'll be able to pretty easily make the decision.
xbox owenz joo d00d
alright, whoever modded me down for this was being a little overzealous. please take into account the fact that the previous post that makes mine redundant might not have appeared when i started typing mine before punishing me for it, please!
Just raise the taxes on crack.
Thank you for telling me what my morals are, and what makes me happy or not. I'm glad I don't have to find out for myself now.
Having fun in the short term must be evil to you, right? If donating to and working for charities all the time is fun for you, go ahead. Personally, working all the time and giving all my money away isn't fun. I don't unwind by sending off a $100 check to the Red Cross. Helping others is good, but helping yourself is important too. All work and no play makes a person go crazy, right? Hotrod computers are play for us. Deal with it.
is fewer damn popups, my god.
I dont really care what other people want, if they want to drool over something, let them... everyone has to find a way to get through this existance, and if you simply deny the meaning tha people have (even if you believe the meaning you have is more correct) you deprive them of their livelyhood, and im not talking about their jobs, im refering to what gets them through the night. So lets all show a little "Christmas Spirit" and not start a flame war over whose morals are more correct, socially, politically, religiously and whathaveyou.
$.02
Eu
i can just see someone "enjoying" the pr0n, and the parents walking in... you'd probably be too engrossed to hear them open the door. I'd pay to see the ensuing exchange.
Who needs another power sucking electronic gadget, when you can pick up a fat burning mechanical work of art?
I finally cracked the mountain bike frame I brazed together 6 years ago.. So, while I work up the next one, I decided to pick up one of these little numbers... It's not steel, and it's a bit heavier than ride I'm used to, but what the heck, right? The addition of rear suspension will be nice with the ground beginning to freeze..
Because everyone knows, Bose RULES!
I carry mine around on my shoulder like a boom-box. Aww yeah.
Is it me or does this seem more like a commerical for Sony products than an actual wishlist?
_________________
The sun beams down on a brand new day, No more welfare tax to pay, Unsightly slums gone up in flashing light...
SONY, SONY and again SONY. When I see a CRT TV that cost $1000 more than similar models, all I can say is that something is wrong in the kingdom of danmark. /.
No Plasma screen TV, a crappy headset display, Nakamishi over better brands, WOW! If I want to get that type of crap then I visit Sharper Image, I don't come on
For Christmas, I order my distro copy of RH and Mandrake. Couldn't make my mind which one I wanted, still wanted to buy Linux to show my support and 2 copies with 1000's of software inside are still cheaper than WinXP.
I like some stuff Sony makes, but I wouldn't call their products "geek friendly".
I do not deploy Linux. Ever.
Hey guys sorry about the lag on the site. We were not expecting quite that much traffic. I had the bandwidth increased quite a bit so things should go much smoother now.
You should be proud you almost took down all of www.realgn.com www.realshell.com and www.keystreams.com With a total of more than 30 sites and 9 servers. Pretty amazing stuff.
Looking at that AIBO with the lights on, it seems a step or two away from being one of those deadly mechanical hounds from Fahrenheit 451. "The LEDs pulsate as AIBO becomes more excited"...and readies itself for the kill...
I looked at the first page. When I got 2 - not 1, 2 - pop-up ads I left your crappy website. Judging from some of the comments I see here, I'm not getting the feeling that I missed anything.
Well.. I liked the first 5 or 6 items I saw, but after closing the 8 or 9 pop-up windows that followed, I opted to stop looking at toys.. Damn I hate pop-up ads.
chown -R us
"The Human Fund--Money For People"
Two very simple but practical suggestions for geeks who already have a lot of toys spread all over their home (I got both for myself during the past year, and they've helped me clean up my living room a bit, and were well worth it):
First, the cheap one: a $20
video/S-video switch (the SVS1000, not the AVS500 on that page) to connect more things to the TV. I've got my N64 and Dreamcast going through it, and will probably also route one or two of my VCRs through it. Simple but handy. But a warning: if you give one to an uber-geek he may complain that the box degrades the video quality noticeably; I didn't notice any image degradation at all with Mario Kart 64, which was my main concern. I just picked up one of these when I bought a Dreamcast after they came down to $50, since my TV didn't have any more free inputs.
Second, and much more expensive, a KVM switch, to share one keyboard/monitor/mouse among multiple computers. I got myself a Belkin OmniView SE 4-port (they claim list price around $260, but I'm pretty sure I got mine quite a bit cheaper) and I'm really happy to have reclaimed so much room on my desk; now I'm able to pile up so many more papers than before!
Lately when Christmas approaches, I've started wondering where I can make room for any more stuff I get. These two things have given me a bit of extra room and helped me organize all the wires a bit.
You are a fool.
Could there BE any more pop under ads on that site?
... should be one of these.
Hmm, actually I've just been made redundant from my dot.bomb job (man /that/ was a shock :-) and I'm looking forward to a nice loooong Christmas break.
:-)))))
Doesn't look like it'll happen though, as all the local firms and "friends" who I've been able to blow off with my "I'm too busy to do your site" excuse are now have gotten wind of this. So I'm keeping my head down and not answering phone calls
Code, Hardware, stuff like that.
Whoa! Dont go spreading your radical anti-materialism ideas here. Acording to the CIA, anti-materialism is a major threat to NATO countries. (Wildcards - Radical Ideologies).
What I'd like most this christmas is IT (codename: Ginger).
Well, I agree that the I want it crowd really seem like they are begging sometimes, but sometimes I wish my family members would provide such a list for me. I LIKE to get AND Give gifts. I KNOW I spent more on all of my gifts I gave to my side of the family, but I don't care. I spend 20-30 on my brother and his wife and while mine was worth about the same, my brother got my wife a bunch of cheap pics to hang on the wall and we don't care! In fact, I like it! Showed ingenuity! Also, I don't know about you, but I go all year most years with out getting most of what I want. and gosh darn it I would like to get SOMETHING nice for once! Looks like I am getting a Radeon VE card from my wife (we have no time to shop....2 year old occupies our time...). I know, the 3d performance isn't that great but I watch more DVD's then play games so I want the TV out and dual monitor support more then supa fast 3d. That's called compromise. I REALLY want a Radeon AIW (Or the 8500 DV, the 8500 equivalent to AIW). Why won;t I get it? Costs to freakin much. Personally, the gifts I have gotten so far I like the ones that the gift giver does:
;)) or a DVD or heck even CD-R blanks. Don't buy me sweaters (I will wear them like once...and then not again until it's SUPER COLD!). Oh and a pound of good coffee is a nice cheap idea as well(espresso roast please).
...:)). I need my HD space for work...
1. Think about what I may want...getting me gift certificates (I hate em, but will gladly take them) shows no thought and is a cop out. I am not THAT difficult to shop for. Hell get me a pack of socks! The washer always eats em and I can always use some new ones....
2. Don't go hog wild....unless you really want too. You don't have to spend lots on me to make me happy. Well over half the items on that list are not of much use to me. I'd rather have a new laptop (if you HAVE to spend lots on me!
3. Spend more on my kid....he needs it more then I do anyway.
That's so easy. I just wish I could tell people just get me all the things I wish I had picked up at the store or have been meaining to get but haven't (not that I couldn't...I just coudln't justify it at the moment or talked myself out of it over and over again...).
Also, what's WRONG with wanting nice stuff? Sure, I can BE HAPPY with out it. I don't have it now and I am happy, but why is it so wrong to want things? We all want things(your lying if you say you aren't.). Some want World Peace, some want Osama's head on a pike. Why is it materialistic to want? It would be different if we just wanted it to say we have it, but I know most of the slashdot readers would use alot of that list everyday! Sure, we'd throw things away, but only if we had alot of that list. Heck I wish I had not bought that stupid web cam about a year or two ago and bought the TV/radio card instead. I would have used it more. My point is just because you think you are all high and mighty because you don't succomb to the I want monster, you are lying in saying that you never want anything for Christmas or never wanted any of these things. It would be so much easier for me if the people on my list would have given me a list. Also how would you know if I would be happier if I hadn't gotten that new video card? Sure, I might be able to deal with it, but it would make me immensely happy to get that video card this year. It would save me time and make things run better on my system so I would be happier with it then without it. Sure, I can live with what I got, but I sure would like to dump this POS video card I have now.
PS My monitor is 3 years old. Same with my video card, my Ethernet card and my speakers and my ram. Only things in there that are newer then that are my CD-RW drive, my soundcard, my motherboard+CPU and my Hard Drive. I DO by stuff that lasts. I DON'T have to have the latest stuff because if I want to game, I would rather have a console to do that (XBOX or PS/2 anyone?
Gorkman
I put only one thing on my List this year:
A Heckler & Koch USP 40 caliber.
Any other geeks out there getting guns for christmas?
(I went and filled out the federal paper work to get my gun, just waiting for it to come back)
all we wanted for Christmas was "my two front teeth?" Now it's: Dear Santa, Forget the two front teeth, can I please have an X-Box/Gamecube/PS2/Enterprise (with crew)/etc. I'll use dentures instead. Love Jean-Luc PS. If you can find a babysitter for Wesley, I'd appreciate it. I've got *ahem* dinner plans tonight.
These are gifts for consumers. They're about as geeky as an electric toothbrush, though I can see where they might seem more important to kids.
Oh, this is Slashdottie. Never mind!
I want IT...
h _k amen_invention_dc.html
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20011201/tc/tec
Intelligent sounding trolls are still trolls.
Some philosophers would argue that hedonism isn't all that bad (take Mill, for example).
And clearly, what makes some people happy in life doesn't make others, and vice versa.
Please don't assume that your point of view is the only one, or even the only valid one.
Perhaps you'll be happier once you strive to understand why others act how they do, rather than just denouncing their actions.
Jake
Dating: while( 1 ){ call_girl(); get_rejected(); drink_40(); } return 0;
If I could find a loving girlfriend as easily as walking into a store and buying something, I would. But I can't. So I'll just have to amuse myself with fancy material possessions while I wait to find someone.
All I want for Noel: :(]
Intel P4 1.9GHz [2GHz costs an extra 100 bucks]
Asus P4B i845 478p
3x 512MB RAM [4 Me, RAM is always more important cause most of my problems on my 32MB box come from insufficient RAM]
60GB/7200RPM Quantum HDD
19" Philips 109B Flat
Asus V8200 Deluxe GeForce3 64MB TV Out[Ti500 is not worth the money]
USRobotics 56K Ext. Modem [56K is the only option where I live
Asus ATX T10 Case
M$ Internet Multimedia Keyb
M$ Intelli Mouse
16x Pioneer DVD-ROM
Yamaha 20x10x40 CD-RW
M$ WinXP Pro
RedHat Professional Distro [the BIG one]
The above is a PERHAPS from my dad. I also ordered some tschit from ThinkGeek like tshirts and caffeine...
I swear, you guys are incredibly disgusting, but hilarious nonetheless. Have you ever thought about posting your stories on the alt.sex.stories newsgroup if you haven't already? Not only are your stories more original, well-written, and entertaining, but they applaud sick material like this. The writings on this site from the FAQ to this story easily beat the best of the material written by the regulars on that newsgroup.
P.S. I will never eat noodles again.
You die too easily.
In the past, Sony gear was something I thought was above average and well built. In the past 7 years, I've seen much lower quality devices with proprietary features like the Memory Stick that really don't beat the functionality of the competitors, only make it more expensive.
When I go to buy Sony, I find Sony forcing sites not to list prices below retail and making it hard for me to get a deal without going there in person. I find high pressure sales with Sony.
Now that I see Sony as one of the main stompers of Fair Use rights for Movies and Music, I really have to think twice before funding a giant by purchasing underperforming products. If Sony made products which were superior, I still think they might deserve a look but if you see Sony and don't go "wow, that beats all competitors!" then move on. They are about as evil as Microsoft as companies go.
time off work! Yeesh, 7 day work weeks are killing me this holiday season.
but my xmas wish will go unanswered as ive already been givin the 'thumbs down' about time off til january!
It's not for everybody
Anonymous Cowards
are also kinda silly.
It's an excellent idea.
Since I don't have any McRosoft systems I am never worried about having the "next big thing". As far as I know, the "next big thing" for LoseXP v2.0 would be some bloody sales.
Frankie "Anonymous" Howerd
directly to the said stereo
A must-notice for nerds: they run php...
-- From Denmark
Well done! In a sense you did buy your happiness by with money. What you bought was a sense of freedom from guilt caused by a hugely priveledged lifestyle - tell the list what car you drive, your hifi specs, haw may TV's etc Did you consider that Oxfam and unicef have awful delivery rates (approx 25% of donations will arrive to the needy) or do you care? Also those organisations are very political - perpetuating a third world/first world mentality. sleep tight and smug Me?? A bit hedonistic and I accept that.
What were you expecting?
I also notice that, although you complain that Oxfam and Unicef have "awful delivery rates," you do not suggest any better-performing organizations, which one expects you would do if you were really concerned about the percentage of food that makes it to hungry mouths. Nonetheless, your assumption that I failed to do my homework is incorrect. Many NGOs achieve high "delivery rates" by indiscriminately handing off truckloads of aid to any handy "local leader," who may or may not have the interests of his community at heart. Often, this food and medicine winds up as a life support system for local warlords terrorizing the population (case in point - Somalia) Also, NGOs who function solely as delivery networks do not help the population become self-sustaining - it takes infrastructure projects to do that. I researched and chose the organizations I felt were most consistent with these concerns.
And, if anyone but you cares, which I doubt:
car - 1996 Honda Civic CX
TV - two, both 10+ years old.
stereo "specs" - it sounds good
Living a less-privileged lifestyle than one could otherwise afford comes with its own benefits. One of them is the ability to make substantial charitable donations. Your attempt to characterize charity as selfish hedonism overlooks a simple fact: if the "hugely privileged" do not provide the necessary assistance to poor countries, who will? Of course, you don't care about your illogic, because you're against the whole concept of privileged nations and people helping the less fortunate. Myself, I prefer the approach advocated by John F. Kennedy over 40 years ago:
To those people in the huts and villages across the globe struggling to break the bonds of mass misery, we pledge our best efforts to help themselves, for whatever period is required; not because the Communists may be doing it, not because we seek their votes, but because it is right. If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
The abandonment of Kennedy's pledge by the US is in part responsible for the sociopolitical climate that feeds modern global terrorism and tyranny, as exemplified by the Taliban/bin Laden. No, I am not excusing them - regardless of how they became what they are, they are heinous murderers and they should all be executed. However, cleansing the wound of germs doesn't help if you just let it become re-infected. Looks like we failed to save more than a few who were rich on September 11. If I happen to be in the next target, I will fail to be saved no matter how many TVs I have. Yes, my freedom and happiness are enhanced by contributing to the freedom and happiness of others around the world. Only the most perverse and mean-spirited mind can characterize this sentiment as "smug."
No, no, no. This is not a sig.
Check out Atollo, it's new building "toy", and it's got some compatiblity with Legos. Instead of bricks they have what are called "Brokits" that allow cool new ways to connect pieces. Look here for a description of the different ways to connect the two Brokits.
---
"To know recursion, you must first know recursion."
Ok please let's not debate that any person of group with a policy is political. duh! The issue is of ulterior and/or misguided goals... Locally we have a group of farmers that collect money and donate their own time to actually go and help sustainable farming in impoverished counties. Specifically not imposing "first world" methods as per 1950-80's screw-ups. They are the people with the guts to get on the ground, and have a far better conversion rate. Very simple and transparent goals and people I can meet. Those charities are out there I promise. Also many impoverished counties are safe enough to travel - go there and educate yourself about "warlords and charity", because (seriously no-offense intended here) but you are talking tripe. Agreed - I wouldn't hand my cash to most of the impoverished governments. Now when you get to influences for 11.9 you are bang on. And if the problem is political where is your contributions going? To groups happy in the political status quo! duh! Now THINK - how does one change this? Donate to political organisations intent on changing the status quo. Please at least donate to the EFF next time! I find your sense of donations amusingly confused: Keep enough money to be comfortable, give to the IBM and Microsoft of charity. Then hope that this will change the world because you are a "nice" American and not a "greedy" American. I'm intrigued now, do you donate "substantially" from a sense of duty, or the sense of joy dervied?
I now see that you are one of those foolish college kids who believes that he/she knows more than researchers, political or social scientists, military strategists, or diplomat who have spent their whole lives studying the nation(s) to which you apply the reductionist label of "third world," simply because you packed up your little backpack and hitchhiked around "seeing things for yourself."
However, since I consider those other sources I mentioned far more reliable than you, I believe there's no point continuing the discussion.
PS - I'm posting without the bonus because this is getting substantially offtopic.)
No, no, no. This is not a sig.
In my experience there are two types of Lawyers
1) those that like to argue because it can lead to discovery
2) those that like to argue, just to be right as a power trip
Now I think I can pigenhole you raresilk. BTW was really hoping for a good fair debate leading somewhere, ah well, live and learn.
regards, Jayfang.