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In Space, No One Knows You Read Vogue
Chad Coffman writes "Salon has quite the story up. It seems Russian astronauts are trolling for
supermodels as passengers for their space program." I guess Tito nor Shuttleworth were cute enough for Valery Korzun. May I suggest Courreges or Gaultier for space-suit designer? I'll leave the weight allowance jokes as an exercise for the reader.
You could afford to pay for your ticket to space like Shuttleworth etc.
Video Game cheats, hints a
I guess a supermodel wouldn't need a wonderbra :)
Maybe their solution to muscle degredation in space is well....once of the greatest excercises of all....SEX. Wouldnt that be interesting. If that were the case, put me down for a trip to the ISS.
FP? C'mon, its 4:40 A.M. gotta be FP!
Hereby I troll for Natalie Portman in space !
Naked and pertified of course.
This would be rather expensive, because a pertified Natalie Postman is heavier than a non-pertified Natalie Portman, even naked.
But I think it's worth the money.
Owner of a Mensa membership card.
i agree with the suggestion about designer space suits, they would look rad. also you could do with some other colours besides white, that's so passe. i would go for blue, or maybe black.
.. with a supermodel!
I'm a perfectionist but I'm trying to cut back.
Who needs to puke up to lose a little weight on Earth, when you can puke up and lose it all going into space? :)
should be their advertisement. Think about it, when you take off all the G forces pulling against your skin would stretch them out. Anyone have a picture of Homer in their head when he went into space....heh priceless.
In college, really poor, need a flatscreen.
maybe this would have prevented that horrible failure of MIR after some cosmonaut accidentally infected it with the Anna Kournikova virus. Food for thought.
--Kevin
NASA said the other gyroscopes were working fine and that the failure would not affect the station's navigation and control. But the bad unit will need to be replaced, and the soonest that can happen is early next year.
they have 5 gyroscopes that they consider "major components", yet it will take em till next year till they can fly one up?
what, they dont have any backups ready to go for critical items and have to manufacture it first?
great planning
Actually, yes, I do enjoy this terribly. In fact, Im gonna post this on my homepage pretty soon.
It seems Russian astronauts are trolling for supermodels as passengers for their space program.
:)
Why would supermodels have to be passengers in the space program? They can easily fly up there to the space station, like their mentor, the superman! I've never seen him pay for a seat in the shuttle!
ACs are gay, you may enjoy modding this (and parent) down.
if a normal woman in space looks like this, then what in lord's name will happen to a supermodel?
attempting to get the most bang for their bucks.
Guess I failed. Sigh.
What better choice could there be than Oksana Fyodorova who won Miss Universe 2002. She is probably qualified at least in part due to her being a former police lieutenant from St. Petersburg.
Remember guys, astronauts are just nerds who happen to meet the physical requirements to be placed in a can and hurled off into space. What did you expect they would ask for? Ask any nerd and he will tell you "supermodel programmer", "supermodel UNIX guru", "supermodel videogamer", and so forth.
I think you guys are not giving enough validity to the scientific value this experiment would give. Now scientist can study the effects of silicone implants in a weightless environment. Perhaps it will allow us to design the perfect breast.
So how much would you pay for the first zero-gravity Playboy pictorial?
What about the first film really filmed in high earth orbit
evanchik.net
They'd probably make some sort of custom body-stocking type of pressure suit. Something that simulates air pressure through elastic tension. Then your supermodel would have a very anime looking space suit...now just fix up the hair...has to be spiky and either green or blue. Also they need pointy ears, maybe a tail...whoa momma...I would so follow that mission with an anime supermodel in space...
If Mr. Edison had thought smarter he wouldn't sweat as much. --Nikola Tesla
Apart from all the jokes, in such an isolated environment it sounds pretty natural. Humans aren't completely isolated creatures from other humans, and for most of the population the company of someone of the opposite sex - just hanging around the place - is a wonderful comfort regardless of being supermodels. Keeping each other mentally stable in such a long term trip sounds as important as having leet space skillz :)
So where do I apply?
a grrl & her server
I just have that silly scene from 007 "The man with the Golden Gun" with whoever the B girl was at the time pressing the solar plant controls with her butt.
It stays in front of my eyes and does not want to go...
Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it
http://www.sigsegv.cx/
moderate those russians as "trawls"
Or is that why they're sending Lance Bass from N*Sync up?
I just wired my money and the training starts in 2 months. Lance and I are going to have a "dance off" in space to be broadcast on PPV worldwide.
It seems Russian astronauts are trolling for supermodels as passengers
It makes good sense. In terms of payload, probably you can send 2 supermodels for same weight as Tito.
ATTN NASA:
Maybe sending me up the space is not such a bad idea. (A gnome shorter than 5'3" who can use both micropipette and computer program. )
could you look *down* a supermodel's shirt, and her not mind.
The international space station's new skipper says forget 'N Sync singer Lance Bass as the orbiting outpost's next tourist. Send up Cindy Crawford!
In space, no one can hear Cindy Crawford sing, and that's a good thing.
In space, no one can hear you orgasm.
So this is in fact on-topic.
I'll get you in M2, humorless bigot.
Jodie Shaw
Please mod this down. It's revolting.
anal cocks
...to be the first generation ever to witness space-rape.
pr0n - keeping monitor glass spotless since 1981.
...pound for buck, you could ship two supermodels into the orbit for the price of one.
;-)
That's what I call a good proposition, everybody is happy.
"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them." -- George H. W. Bush
One of the (many) unknown "truths" about space is that zero-g really sucks! It makes even the hardiest astronaut feel like they have a low-grade flu constantly, and worse. Your bowels clag up, your eyes feel awful, your joints are sore, the works. Of course, the view is great!
now, maybe they should first carry out some studies on the effect of weightlessness on plastic surgery.
This has to be one of my favorite Slashdot article titles, though. Yet another triumph of style over content.
mod down
I am not sure... Most of the female astronauts have been married or just downright plain-jane... I think I might have to double bag it for the bragging rights!!!
Please mod down this awful thing! I don't understand why people with so great drawing skills wastes them with such awesome rubbish!
For a start, there are only four gyros in the Z1 truss. They can operate quite happily with three, and can get by nervously with two. If a third one fails, they have to resort to using rocket propellant from the Russian segment, which depletes their supplies a lot faster, which is a Bad Thing.
Second, each gyro weighs about 1100 pounds, including the assembly needed to secure it in the cargo bay of the Shuttle. The next two flights this year are carrying up big segments of the solar panel truss, and there just isn't enough room or weight to also carry the replacement gyro. This current flight is actually carrying a replacement wrist joint for the station robotic arm, but it only occupies about 2x2x2 feet, so it was easy to fit it into an otherwise one-third (or so) empty cargo bay.
Believe me, if they could get the gyro up there any earlier, they would.
Regular women have had little problems getting adjusted with space travel. The problem, when you start looking at Supermodels in space, is that you must discriminate between two different, distinct types of supermodels: the waifs and the chicks with augmented breasts.
Waifs are popular amongst engineers... their light weight mean that you can fit heavier, more practical cargo on board that would normally be sacrificed due to launch considerations.... stuff like Mah Jongg sets, a kegerator, and Russian millionaires (which are, ironically, the reason Supermodels are being considered for space travel).
Those with augmented breasts must be discriminated against, no matter the behest of the millionaires. Intra-craft space travel would be nearly impossible to manage.... The fact of the matter is that in space, even with the relatively wightless environment, a human body will spin around it's "center of gravity". The effect of spinning to the left or right is still unknown, because we are not sure how silicon implants will react to such an environment. However, it is bound to be far less disasterous than a top-bottom spin. This is best simulated by throwing a hammer through tube of computer equipment. A model's feet will probably not survive the trip, and mental damage is inevitable if the feet get hooked on a loose computer or cargo crate.... Fortunatley, it is questionable if such mental damage of a supermodel is a valid concern, at least until said models age to their 23rd year.
Anyone who makes a crack about brains and beauty never occurring in the same person should look into the life of Hedy Lamarr. Oh, there a pictures too. Ms Lamarr was one of the patent holders of an important ww2 patent. She also sued Corel for using an uncredited likeness of her on the cover of one of their flagship software products.
technician: how many Gs can you take?
super-model: I only wear one string at a time.
technician: huh? oh, never mind.
Jumpstart the tartan drive.
Are you an astronaut baby.... Cause your ass is out of this world!
There's nothing on a hot day like a tall glass
of frosty piss.
With the launch of of "SPUNK-NIK". Are the International Sex Station's systems able to deal with floating bits of jizz?
This would help with any sagging problems.
A win-win situation.
I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people. - Jack Handey
What's up with the hubba-hubba-isms in this topic? It's just not funny anymore.
Back in the day, part of the hacker ethic was that you judged people from their hacking skills, not on unimportant baggage like sex, race or ethnicity.
lance bass isn't cute enough??
MTV will rent the whole place out and throw a party...or wait better yet...host the VMA's up there!
Zero gravity and bulimia don't mix. You really think you could get one of those hot chicks to wear one of those clunky space suits for more than an hour? I can hear it now "No mam, we don't have any Versace space suits."
Supermodel and ersatz space tourist Kate Moss today was killed during launch. She would have been the first supermodel in space.
A NASA spokesman said, "Apparently, the g-forces were too much for her bony, underfed frame and she was ripped in half by the pressure."
"It's just as well, because I don't know how she would have survived a week with those horny, lecherous astronauts on the ISS. Either way, she would have been ripped in half."
Sad that the very mention of "Supermodel" gets this kind of coverage. I've read this excuse for a story in like 6 different places...the guy made a joke, that's it. Cindy Crawford is not going into space.
Then again, maybe the story is a Russian beaurecrat (sp) actually making a joke!
Has any one else noticed that this is actaully an AP news wire, not a Salon article?
Is any one else irritated by the use of the phrase "quite the" in the submission?
Julie Payette - and a hot chick may I add
In a television interview, she was granting a journalist a formal visit of the Space Station (grounded, in one piece before being dismantled and put to space or a life-sized model, I don't remember), and the jounalist did ask about the possibility of sex in space. She said that serious studies about it have been done but hinted that the only way to have sex in space, is to have one partner tied up
Funny.
Arguably no woman ever NEEDS a bra. I imagine the vast majority of bra wearing is done purely for cosmetic reasons. I suppose "large" women could be the exception (back pain and all that).
"In space, no one can hear you cream."
Table-ized A.I.
Maybe if these guys overcame their heterosexuality, they'd have a lot more fun in space. Heterosexuality is a choice, you know. People can change if they try.
...but he's more than cute enough --- I'd fly with Shuttleworth any time!
How the hell is this a front-page-worthy story?
His quote is like saying...
.... fine. I'll go home.... UNLESS you have a job now? Astronaut per chance? Huh? Oh. Ok. I guess I'll be seeing you again, maybe."
"Boy, I'd like to be an astronaut someday... but this is a joke, I'll take anyjob I can get.... please? Anybody? Janitor? Any openings like that? I'll be a fry cook... sigh
They think it was a broken gyro... You see, principal filming can't begin until the babes arrive... then the creature will kill everyone, in ones and twos:
Please don't tell me Lance Bass is being recruited for the same reason!
this is a fucking awful story. The headline should read instead: "Cosmonaut makes joke about supermodels."
If not properly contained/restrained, the guy could end up spinning, end-over-end, leaving a, uhh, DNA trail.
Even though I am a wealthy actor and own over 10,000 guns of all shapes and sizes, I do not think that I would personally travel in space, even if it were free. However, I am content to see supermodels fly in space, provided that they are armed with the latest machine guns and plenty of ammunition.
======
Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!
"May I suggest Courreges or Gaultier for space-suit designer?"
No, get the person who did the costumes for Barbarella!
Yeah, didn't Dan Aykroyd get it on with one of them in "Spies Like Us"? And hell, that was what, 10 or so years ago? So it's only natural that they're going to space now. WHEE!