Posted by
ryuzaki0
on from the first-it-was-a-screwdriver dept.
weighn writes "The SMH has this story about an eccentric Frenchman who carries about 1300 useful items attached to his body by various means. A digital camera is mentioned, so I guess there may be some form of computing device nearby. Anyone else a bulging pocketed geek-scout?"
Anyone remember Parker Lewis Can't Lose? His buddy wore a trenchcoat, and was already prepared. Each time he whipped out an item you heard the sound of separating velcro.
This guy in the story should design suits for certain professions, with neatly designed inner pockets, outer pockets(like on the Ps1 game "P'Oed" featuring the chef with sidearm cooking utensil) and so forth and then sell them.
I only wish I had more coat pockets and such, but my trendy Dockers will have to do. Carries everything but a handgun in the pockets.
I find that Dockers don't last too long. If I might recommend: Tilley Endurables Their washing instructions are "Give 'em hell!", and they don't need ironing.
I'm giving them a plug because I had a pair of pants that the zipper failed on after a few years. I figured what the hell, and took the pants back to get the zipper fixed. And they did it -- free of charge! (I guess they really do mean "Guaranteed for life".)
The shorts have enough capacity to handle a six-pack. (To hell with all those gadgets!) And there's a secret pocket too. They cost a bit more, but will last waay longer than Dockers under geek washing conditions. Besides, they have this neat stone head outside their Toronto store, can't go wrong! The Big Head
-- One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
The article says he does have a clothing line. But no plug? The guy even refused to give his last name. I guess he really isn't in America. Shit, over here, people'll plug their dog's new novel at the planning stage, when they're still thinking about teaching the animal how to type. If you're on a talk show (or many times, in a news article), it's beacause you have something to sell, not because you have something interesting to say.
I have to admit, my first reaction to the story was "freak." My second was "clothing line? Where can I get some?"
I've got endless Dockers where my wallet has rubbed a hole in the pocket, the knee has gone, or they just plain started to fall apart. They aren't bad enough to throw out, but...
I tried fitting in a particular airline EULA, and guess what my jacket tore. After that I took the pledge that I wont carry anything heavier than a tank ever ever in my pocket.
-- My Aurora : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o91ZsGwJYyg
FB : https://www.facebook.com/TanveersPhotography
Reminds me of the dilbert series where Dilbert has a gadget rivalry with one of his co-workkers. The two finally meet in a hallway and have a stand-off, western style. Both draw at the same but, but Dilbert's rival wins (rings all of Dilbert's gadgets) because his gadgets have speed dial.
"Speed Dial. Fool."
Can someone find that cartoon?
Yes, but does he have his towel?
by
Discopete
·
· Score: 5, Funny
He makes mention of sleeping in some unusual places, but he never mentions a towel!
Re:Yes, but does he have his towel?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1, Funny
he's french. shame on you for not reading the article.
I know something useful he doesn't have...
by
jokercito
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· Score: 2, Funny
A sex life...:P
Artist's conception!
by
c.emmertfoster
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· Score: 4, Funny
-- We can neither love nor pity nor forgive.
If you make a slip in handling us you die!
I Now Have A New Hero...
by
Nameis
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· Score: 3, Funny
I don't go anywhere without a Leatherman , a hanky, and duct tape. I'm always looking for new handy stuff to carry. At one time I also carried a face shield for CPR, a laser pointer, and a mini-torch. You can never have too many pockets!
I hope this guy starts his own clothing line. Over 1300 items...ah, that'd get me chicks.
Apparently plans to produce a First Person Shooter game based on this frenchman were cancelled after prelimenary versions had gamers sitting there for 2 hours pressing "[" to cycle through inventory items.
Actually, this guy has proven possible half the first person shooters on the market today. "Lets check my inventory. Pistol, shotgun, rocket launcher, minigun, chainsaw, flamethrower, railgun, 6 ft claymore sword, M1A1 Abrams, deck mounted battleship cannon, small country, and 15 trillion rounds of ammunition for each... all of it fits conveniently into my armor/trench coat/pants pockets. MWHAHAHA."
Sidney Coleman (way cool physicist) had the biggest Swiss Army knife I ever saw. That thing must have weighed 15 kg by itself. He had carried it with him for years, and he told me... (dramatic drum roll) ..that he had actually had occasion to use all but one of its 99-googol blades in his bike-riding, rock-climbing, etc. activities.
Not satisfied with this imperfect record, he sought out an expert to find out what he could do with that single unused blade. The expert replied, "Remove stones from horses' hooves."
Hey, not every story has a happy ending.
-- Making trouble today for a better tomorrow...
What has it got in it's nassty pocketsses?
by
sbaker
·
· Score: 5, Funny
My father used to work for the airlines doing Radio and Radar repair. He carried a little kiddies pencil case containing a Swiss Army Knife and an expensive Fountain Pen. The case was labelled "747 Repair Kit" and he swore those were the only tools he ever used. He also remarked that he used the fountain pen more than the knife.
My Swiss Army knife (a top-of-the-range one) includes a small ballpoint pen - so I don't need the fountain pen...but I have a tiny LED flashlight. That's the software guy's PC repair kit.
Re:I have two words for this guy
by
Cpt_Kirks
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· Score: 3, Funny
His metal detector is in the upper left back shoulder pocket.
Eccentric frenchman?
by
xchino
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· Score: 1, Funny
"An eccentric Frenchman who goes by the name of Crazy Eric.." All Frenchmen are eccentric. If this guy goes by the name Crazy Eric, Maybe he's not eccentric but actually crazy.
-- Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Re:What an IDIOT!
by
Rolo+Tomasi
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Let me guess, you're Crazy Jacques from the neighboring town and you're jealous because you only manage to pack 1100 items?
-- Did you know you can fertilize your lawn with used motor oil?
... but I also have an inflatable mattress with me
by
Hektor_Troy
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Wanna fuck?
-- We do not live in the 21st century. We live in the 20 second century.
The real way of the geek ...
by
mboedick
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· Score: 5, Funny
... is not to have a lot of tools, but to use the same tool for many different tasks, like those old 101 uses for a Zippo lighter ads.
Follow-up /. story...
by
ngkabra
·
· Score: 4, Funny
I am just waiting for somebody to use him for a case-mod...
I was going to ask if he carried a condom, but then I realized that it said in the article that he only carried things that he would use... and most guys who walk around with 1,300 usefull tools... well, point taken
So what happens? The Germans flank the French, ignore the Maginot line, smash both the French and the British armies, and have reached the English channel in 8 days.
It really is worth mentioning why it was so easy to flank the French lines.
All of the big French artillery guns were literally buried into position facing in the direction that the Germans were supposed to come. When the Germans decided that walking into a killing field would be silly, the French couldn't turn their guns!
This thread reminds me of a few years back when some really big commemarative event was happening in Normandy. Presidents and Prime Ministers attending kinda big, along with soldiers who had fought on that beach. A number of Germans were also looking to attend, which the French opposed. One commentator noted...
"Yeah right. Like they could keep them out!"
-- The line must be drawn here. This far. No further.
"But if I don't need something, I don't bring it. I used to carry a pedometer, for example, but I've just taken it off. I never found I needed it."
Well yeah, once you start wearing a 15 kg jacket, you sure as hell won't need one:-P
--
"The ones who dont do anything are always the ones who try to pull you down" -- Henry Rollins
Re:marauding pruner
by
orthogonal
·
· Score: 5, Funny
Of course, I was completely outclassed by a guy at my college who carried at all times, among other things, flashlight, rescue sheers, first aid kit, fire repellent mask, multitool
I'm just guessing here, but... he had no need to carry condoms, right?
Damn! You took my line! The actual place in the joke is the Champs Elysees which ironically leads directly to the Arc du Triomphe. I've been there 3 of the last 8 weeks on business. I told that joke two weeks ago. Right there. To a German guy. He hissed.
Two hours later, he asked me to repeat it so he can get it right when he returned home.
Fucking spooky when you hear a guy quietly clicking away with his one-handed keyboard-thingie while staring straight ahead. It was like he had no awareness of my presence or any other people around him.
The borg don't consider you a threat if you ignore them. Had you attacked him, we would have noticed!
-- Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
obligatory Dr Strangelove Quote
by
c0bw3b
·
· Score: 2, Funny
All I need is one of these:
"Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff."
Slashdot Mirror
That one of those items ia a white flag?
badda-bing!
Thanks! I'll be here all night!
Must be an embarrassment for the poor guy.
"Is that a ruler in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"
"Actually, it IS a ruler."
If a man's character is to be abused there's nobody like a relative to do the business. -Thackeray, William
he's a swiss army guy. get it. hahahaha
Anyone remember Parker Lewis Can't Lose? His buddy wore a trenchcoat, and was already prepared. Each time he whipped out an item you heard the sound of separating velcro.
This guy in the story should design suits for certain professions, with neatly designed inner pockets, outer pockets(like on the Ps1 game "P'Oed" featuring the chef with sidearm cooking utensil) and so forth and then sell them.
I only wish I had more coat pockets and such, but my trendy Dockers will have to do. Carries everything but a handgun in the pockets.
I tried to fit my Microsoft EULA in my pocket but it was to heavy.
[n8.r0n] http://petesweb.spymac.net/
I thought standing behind someone in the supermarket paying with cheques was bad... imagine being behind this guy in airport security!
I'd hate to be behind him at an airport security checkpoint.
Pfft, frenchmen... I may be a geek, but I don't need any artificial means to be bulging.
/^[A-Z0-9._%+-]+@[A-Z0-9.-]+\.[A-Z]{2,4}$/i
...is a condom.
How's this for something else amusing?
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Yeah, it's not like he didn't have a camera on him!
Reminds me of the dilbert series where Dilbert has a gadget rivalry with one of his co-workkers. The two finally meet in a hallway and have a stand-off, western style. Both draw at the same but, but Dilbert's rival wins (rings all of Dilbert's gadgets) because his gadgets have speed dial.
"Speed Dial. Fool."
Can someone find that cartoon?
He makes mention of sleeping in some unusual places, but he never mentions a towel!
A sex life... :P
Here is a police artist's sketch of the guy!
We can neither love nor pity nor forgive. If you make a slip in handling us you die!
I hope this guy starts his own clothing line. Over 1300 items...ah, that'd get me chicks.
Apparently plans to produce a First Person Shooter game based on this frenchman were cancelled after prelimenary versions had gamers sitting there for 2 hours pressing "[" to cycle through inventory items.
It's still 200 items short of the number the average woman carries in her purse.
You know you've got problems when people on slashdot start making fun of your sex life...
Does it have many pocket?
New pointless product ideas for ThinkGeek.
I'd like to see him pass airport security just once.
(dramatic drum roll)
..that he had actually had occasion to use all but one of its 99-googol blades in his bike-riding, rock-climbing, etc. activities.
Not satisfied with this imperfect record, he sought out an expert to find out what he could do with that single unused blade. The expert replied, "Remove stones from horses' hooves."
Hey, not every story has a happy ending.
Making trouble today for a better tomorrow...
My father used to work for the airlines doing Radio and Radar repair. He carried a little kiddies pencil case containing a Swiss Army Knife and an expensive Fountain Pen. The case was labelled "747 Repair Kit" and he swore those were the only tools he ever used. He also remarked that he used the fountain pen more than the knife.
...
My Swiss Army knife (a top-of-the-range one) includes a small ballpoint pen - so I don't need the fountain pen...but I have a tiny LED flashlight. That's the software guy's PC repair kit.
Then of course there is my mother's handbag
www.sjbaker.org
I'm sure he carries a list.
I/O Error G-17: Aborting Installation
His metal detector is in the upper left back shoulder pocket.
"An eccentric Frenchman who goes by the name of Crazy Eric.." All Frenchmen are eccentric. If this guy goes by the name Crazy Eric, Maybe he's not eccentric but actually crazy.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Let me guess, you're Crazy Jacques from the neighboring town and you're jealous because you only manage to pack 1100 items?
Did you know you can fertilize your lawn with used motor oil?
Wanna fuck?
We do not live in the 21st century. We live in the 20 second century.
I am just waiting for somebody to use him for a case-mod...
I was going to ask if he carried a condom, but then I realized that it said in the article that he only carried things that he would use... and most guys who walk around with 1,300 usefull tools... well, point taken
"Hrm, mabey all that hardware's for making coleslaw!"
0110100100100000011000010110110100100000011000100
Many French people will take any joke about them surrendering offensively!
How can you 'surrender offensively'?
I would think that at best it would be a defensive tactic.
Interested in the Colorado Lottery or Powerball games?
check out http://colotto.com
... and gets caught in an avalanche, his friends better tell the rescue team to bring a metal detector...
Oh, let's not forget their half-assed performance during the Franco-Prussian war, too.
Q: Why is Paris lined with trees?
A: Because the German army likes to march in the shade.
All of those things are in my girlfriends handbag ;o) Thats why we keep them around, isn't it? Packhorses?
Never fight naked, unless you're in prison...
So what happens? The Germans flank the French, ignore the Maginot line, smash both the French and the British armies, and have reached the English channel in 8 days.
It really is worth mentioning why it was so easy to flank the French lines.
All of the big French artillery guns were literally buried into position facing in the direction that the Germans were supposed to come. When the Germans decided that walking into a killing field would be silly, the French couldn't turn their guns!
This thread reminds me of a few years back when some really big commemarative event was happening in Normandy. Presidents and Prime Ministers attending kinda big, along with soldiers who had fought on that beach. A number of Germans were also looking to attend, which the French opposed. One commentator noted...
"Yeah right. Like they could keep them out!"
The line must be drawn here. This far. No further.
From the article:
:-P
"But if I don't need something, I don't bring it. I used to carry a pedometer, for example, but I've just taken it off. I never found I needed it."
Well yeah, once you start wearing a 15 kg jacket, you sure as hell won't need one
"The ones who dont do anything are always the ones who try to pull you down" -- Henry Rollins
Of course, I was completely outclassed by a guy at my college who carried at all times, among other things, flashlight, rescue sheers, first aid kit, fire repellent mask, multitool
I'm just guessing here, but... he had no need to carry condoms, right?
Opinions on the Twiddler2 hand-held keyboard?
Damn! You took my line! The actual place in the joke is the Champs Elysees which ironically leads directly to the Arc du Triomphe. I've been there 3 of the last 8 weeks on business. I told that joke two weeks ago. Right there. To a German guy. He hissed.
Two hours later, he asked me to repeat it so he can get it right when he returned home.
Intelligent Life on Earth
Fucking spooky when you hear a guy quietly clicking away with his one-handed keyboard-thingie while staring straight ahead. It was like he had no awareness of my presence or any other people around him.
The borg don't consider you a threat if you ignore them. Had you attacked him, we would have noticed!
Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
All I need is one of these:
"Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff."
||:|::