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Advice You Would Give to Your 12 Year-Old Self?
urbazewski asks: "If you could send a message back to your nerdy
unpopular 12 year old self, what would you say? I've been asking this one for several years, and the replies sound suspiciously like the lame advice I got from adults at that age ('just be yourself, dear'). The most creative answer was from an American-born Buddhist monk, who didn't think his 12 year old self would
listen to a message along the lines of 'Hey, what you're doing is kind of making things suck for me right now' --- he would send
a message to himself by adding extra lyrics to a song he really liked when he was in junior high school. I got the best replies from a large class at
UC Santa Cruz. The modal answer was 'Buy Microsoft.' About 7% of the class said 'Enjoy yourself in high school because college is really hard.' Another 7% said "Study harder in high school because college is really hard.' (The
best variant on that theme: 'Try to figure out what "studying" is'). In the hindsight-is-20/20 dept. there was a girl who said 'Do not date the
following people...' and then listed six names and a guy who said 'You know how you're thinking about trying to drive your dad's car? Don't!.' My personal favorite: 'You're a dork now, but don't worry, you'll be cool when
you're in college.'"
Drugs are bad...mmmkay
Did I get the first post on /. ?
If not, I would tell my 12 y/o self to get the first post.
If at first you don't succeed... How does that go again? Ah, forget it.
Oh god, the itching, the itching!
register slashdot.org
"You know what, just forget it, you won't listen to anything i say anyway..."
Don't post so much lame stuff on /.
Yeah, that's right, kill yourself, you heard me.
I want to find out if a fundamental paradox really causes the universe to end! I mean, suicide is not my bag, but if I had the chance to take all of you with me...
It Is the Nature of Information to Transgress Artificial Boundaries
Train your left hand for next year.
Don't let Christy Wilson go :)
Religion is a gateway psychosis. -- Dave Foley
Never turn down a chance to get laid.
Oh, and buy Cisco stock in 1998 and sell it in Jan 2000.
Period.
Karma: The shiznight, mostly because I am the Drizzle.
"Self, in 4 years you're going to meet a really nice girl at a party. This time guy some fucking condoms!"
Trolling is a art,
don't waste your time reading slashdot; do something useful instead.
don't pass up the best years of your life. get laid, over and over and over again. there will be time enough for slashdot/computers/programming when you're older and impotent.
err, wait, not that this has happened to me....
We're like rats, in some experiment! -- George Costanza
if anybody even looks at you crosseyed, stick a knife in them right away, or word will get around that you're a patsy and it will take you a whole lifetime to live it down.
You're dumb, but that shouldn't be too surprising since you're 12. When you get the chance to enter a running start program as a sophomore, do it. With high school comes stupid heartache, and an early exit will save you lots of heartache.
But, in order to accomplish that, you must ignore your evil best friend, Adam. He will bring you Warcraft II, which will consume an inordinate amount of your time and eventually lead you to Diablo and Starcraft. Which is like heroin to you.
In summary: Get away from high school and addictive Blizzard products.
Never, ever, ever click a goatse.cx link. That image will forever be burned on my retina...shudder....
... you insensitive clod!
Oh, and I'd probably tell myself to go on that bike ride with katie, she might be a bit wierd but she's also damn hot, and that kind of thing doesn't happen as often as TV makes you think it will.
Dear Self: You know all those things that you're hiding from your parents (report cards, alcohol, drugs, women) so they won't find out? Well, they already know. Have a good day!
"This food is problematic."
In all honesty, that's what I'd say. Rather shallow, I know.
1. Most importantly, you are not always right, contrary to how you feel about most things. Make sure you research things thoroughly before you start to tell other people what you believe is right. There are many arguments you'll win and lose that you'll look back at and smack yourself for being such a wiseass, especially since you were completely wrong.
2. Girls are not worth your time. They are fun while you have them but man you regret it when they are gone. Plus, after you have one, you're hooked.
3. Go to Victoria School of Visual and Performing Arts as soon as you can. You'll be very happy there.
4. Don't drop piano lessons. You'll regret it when all of your friends are cool pianists and you are just starting again.
5. Listen to your father, play cards more often with your father, go out and play sports more with your father. When you leave for university, you'll really miss the few good times you did have with him.
6. Save your money. Don't buy stuff on a whim, make sure you want it first. There are lots of stuff you'll think is cool to own, but later on you'll kick yourself for spending so much on it.
7. Star Trek is not as cool as you think it is.
8. Be nice to your sisters, especially Peggy. You may not approve of her ways, but you can learn a lot from her.
9. Get rid of your damn huge glasses, and get smaller ones or contacts.
10. Stop watching TV, if need be, just use the computer. Full House isn't that good of a series.
11. Exercise more, or do more physical activity. It's worth it.
12. Get involved in the community more. At Vic, get involved in the arts scene more. You'll miss it when you are gone.
That should be enough I think.
But most importantly.
13. Don't fight all the time. You are not right 100% of the time, and it's not worth the stress of the arguments and the loss of friendships when you fight.
That's about it. Plus, you know the usual. Invest in Microsoft, etc.
~ kjrose
Given that, at 12, I was entering that period of life where I would do pretty much exactly the opposite of what anyone advised:
1. Don't take algebra, there's no practical use for that stuff.
2. Do all the cocaine you can get your hands on. The eighties will be much more fun that way...
3. Rush out and get laid by the first girl who will do it.
That's a pretty good start...
Trouble making decisions? Just flip for it.
In the future, you are going to write to your nerdy, unpopular self.
In the meantime, think of something witty, cuz this sucks!
Later!
"This food is problematic."
...because in about 10 years, you're going to be incredibly disappointed.
... that I really would go blind if I kept doing *that*.
..."Stop masturbating so much. My eyesight is terrible 10 years from now.."
why run from Vincenzo?
FYI: Inflammable means flammable...
Aaah, if only your parents had that piece of advice.
LISTER: So, listen, man. You've lived my life for the last five years.
So, what's the single most important piece of advice that you can give
me?
FUTURE LISTER: (thinks hard) Erm. Oh, yeah. Three years from now,
you'll go through a cosmic storm and end up in a parallel universe.
You'll materialise on an exact replica of Earth in the year 1989.
You'll want to go to the theatre. Whatever you do, don't go and see
"Run For Your Wife."
s''$/=\2048;while(<>){G=29;R=142;if((@a=unqT="C*", _)[20]&48){D=89;_=unqb24,qT,@2 5,_;H=73;O=$b[4]<<9& (Q>>12^Q>>4^Q/8^Q))<<17,O=O>>8^(E&(F=(S=O>>14&7^O) T ,"\xb\ntd\xbz\x14d")[_/16%8]);EG ^=12*(U-2?0:S&17)),H^=_%64?12:0,@z)[_%8]}(16..271) )[_]^((D>>=8T ,@a}';s/[D-HO-U_]/\$$&/g;s/q/pack+/g;eval
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^S*8^S<<6))<<9,_=(map{U=_%16orE^=R^=110&(S=(unq
^=(72,@z=(64,72,
)+=P+(~F&E))for@a[128..$#a]}print+q
1) The nerdy girl in your morning science class is going to be beautiful at 22 when you run into her in college. The hot little girl in your homeroom will be neither.
2) Don't, don't, don't think it'll be a good idea to use the dog clippers to trim the top of your head. You'll miss and need to make up some excuse that you were checking for 666.
3) Don't use silicone spray to lubricate the lawnmower. The gases are very flammable and you'll singe your lungs.
4) Have absolutely no moral dillemma about having fun with your girlfriend's hot little friend. Your girlfriend will dump you a week later for the SWAT sergeant.
5) Late at night, when everything is dark, do not blindly drink from the 1/2 gallon plastic jug in the back of the fridge. It will *look* like lemonade, but....
6) Have fun. Have lots of fun. Take lots of classes, even ones you don't need.
I really think I'd just tease my 12 year old self who'd be sitting there playing NES, with fantastic tales of the Gamecube and PS2, and then disappear into the night.
(Modified my original post)
Trolls lurk everywhere. Mod them down.
dear 12 year old self: just let it die
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Big Mark to Little Mark: "Last week's winning lottery number are . . . "
track7.org has all kinds of interesting stuff!
and introduce him to girls and beer in high school. He'll never get anything done.
the correct quote is:
"Son, it's better to regret things you HAVE done than to regret things you HAVEN'T done. And by the way, if you see your mom this weeked, could you tell her.....
SATAN, SATAN, SATAN!!!" (queue ripped black sabbath riff)
Ahh, the Butthole Surfers... how I miss ye.
Department of Homeland Security: Removing the rights real patriots fought and died for since 2001
How about: "Hey self, stop smoking so much dope. Your memory will be shot by the time you're 18"
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
The point is usually to give advice to kids today, not to find some crazy professor and hit 88mph in his DeLorean. I didn't get much help from adults when I was a kid (and every year appreciate my scout master more and more), but maybe I can offer a bit to some today.
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. -- H L Mencken
I would tell myself to not register slashdot.org as doing so would mean there is no slashdot to ask this question and thus I couldn't have made the initial change thus causing a paradox.
Oh... and stay away from the airport ( especially the guy with the blonde wig and sunglasses )
2. Sleep with everything that moves, knowing that as you make more money, the women get prettier. If you dont like the girls who like you, make more money!
3. STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!
4. Under no circumstances ever consider marriage unless you reach 30 and make less than 150K a year. If you are younger and/or make more, your options for trim are too good to settle for just one chick regardless of what you look like.
5. Dont buy a Mac.
6. Just because you will love Java, doesn't mean you can ever do anything productive with it. Stick with C++ and dont be afraid of garbage collection and pointers.
7. Everyone you think is cool, will be washing your car, turning down your hotel bed, and bringing you meals in 20 years, if you refuse to be like them now.
8. Those big tits you love so much right now, will be hanging around her navel in 25 years. Learn to like the flat girls.
9. Once you make decent money, you will forget all that crap about the environment, compassion and helping others, so why waste your time now?
10. Everyone does it, anyone who says they dont is lying.
Hey, you know all those girls who think they're hot shit right now? in four years, they'll all be skanky sluts who still think they're hot shit--treat them like the skanks they are and they'll be putty in your hands. They'll stay that way until they're about 25. Then you can be nice to girls again.
1. Buy lots of stock in Qualcomm in 1999 for $50/share and sell it all in 2000 for $600/share.
2. Don't have sex with the weird chick with the really short hair.
3. DO have sex with the blonde that drives an Audi
4. Learn to do calculus before the calc midterm.
5. Don't drive through a certain intersection on May 4th 2001.
6. Get in lots of trouble with the cops before you turn 18 so that it stays on your juvenile record. Remember kids - after 18, it stays on your rap sheet for life.
I'd rather be a conservative nutjob than a liberal with no nuts and no job.
"Put 15-20% of every penny your earn in the bank"
Maybe so you you don't have to shave/cut your pennies and nickels, you could put 15-20% of every dollar you earn in the bank. I'd hate to deal with all those pennies...
You should SUE girl A for not breaking up with you sooner!
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
goatse.cx .. Please young version of me, register that domain and save me from having an image imprinted on my mind forever.
I was so uncool when I was twelve, if I could go back in time I'd probably beat myself up...
Statistically speaking, there's a 99.998% chance that my IQ is higher than yours. Get over it.
To which 12yr old me would say:
What the hell does register mean, and what is slashdot.org?
33yroldme: It is a website
12yroldme: What the hell is a website?
33yroldme: You know the internet.
12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
33yroldme: A bunch of computers hooked up together to share information.
12yroldme: What the hell is a computer?
33yroldme: You know, a personal computer.
12yroldme: No, I have no idea what you are talking about.
33yroldme: It is a screen, like a TV, and you can do all kinds of things on it, like playing games.
12yroldme: Oh, in your house, like an Atari?
33yroldme: Yeah, sort of, but they are all over the world too.
12yroldme: Oh, you mean in the arcade like a Pac-Man machine? And that new game, Pole Position? That game is cool. It is so realistic! Or Joust, that game is fun because two people can play at once. I have only played it a couple of times because it is brand new. There is always a line for it.
33yroldme: Dude, nevermind. Have fun.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
Convice mom and dad to put their loan money
in microsoft stocks.
At age 12 you didn't know what a computer was? Are you sure you're on the right site? This is "News for Nerds". :)
I do not have a signature
...south through the woods. The cops come in from the north. Good luck.
I would tell myself not to look at $$$$$exyGal's journal at work!
Geez, that could have gotten me fired.
send a message to yourself in the past by the time you reach a certain age (i.e. 24).
Aside from the lottery numbers, I'd probably say
I know you're hungry, I know you're drunk, and I know it smells appetising, but seriously, you don't want to eat the cat food... Oh, and go drag your buddy back inside, he wandered out into the street and passed out while you were MICROWAVING A BOWL OF CAT FOOD.
Come to think of it, can I give me a slap too?
As opposed to what other kind of condom?
Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
I was 7 in 1982. And on welfare. We got a trash-80 for christmas.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00005V0XF/ diramyspla
What the hell? You insert Amazon Affiliate links into your recommendations in everyday, informal communication suggesting a movie??? Do you do this in conversation, too?
El Karma: excelente(principalmente la suma de moderación hecha a los comentarios de los usuarios)
WTF is the "wrong" way? Twisting?
I just want to say one word to you... ''plastics''.
Open source development is my way of competing with the low-cost programmers in India...
Register immediately. Get ID #001.
Wait until 2003. Go to a site called 'ebay'. Sell said slashdot ID. Let your mind boggle that you now have $81.
so just keep wasting it you little bastard!
I think my new advice would be to start using the word "asshead"! That's awesome!
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one " -Albert Einstein
Go into the kitchen and drink everything under the sink. Completely. Even the stuff that burns your mouth.
It will uh... raise your Charisma to 18!
-----
Don't wait for Duke Nukem Forever.
The title is more suitable than you'll ever comprehend.
Dear Chris,
When you turn 19 you will, for some really stupid reason, decide that long hair is cool and looks good on you.
It doesn't. Your passport photo is an embarassment that you will live with for 10 years.
And don't you eat that yellow snow!
Eat at Joe's.
Don't worry about it... it will get bigger.
Was it CGA or ASCII art? :)
I'd tell the 12-year old me the same thing that the 30-year old me told me when I was 12.
"You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." -- Albert Einstein
12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
30yearoldme: It's kind of like a giant BBS, with unlimited porn.
12yearoldme: Mind if I take notes?
has a beer EVER tasted better than in a locker room after a hard-fought win???
Why yes actually, it tastes even better when you don't drink it at all.
Your mommy just called, do you want any Juicy Juice?
I knew I forgot to mention something....
Divert power to the reflector dish so we can create a tachyon field.
Thanks for reminding me
Stop doing that or you'll go blind!
PR
As you smoke that crack pipe, explaining your 12yearold self to not smoke the crack pipe, go remind 3DRealms that Project Managment Courses in college are a Good Thing(TM).
But I'm sure you already Gnu that.
What else can I say?
I think my favorite is "asshat." I don't know what it means (You wear an ass on your hat? For your hat? Someone else uses your ass for a hat? Your ass is shaped like a hat?) But it makes me giggle.
-If
I just thought of something, it could be a compound of "as shat." I don't know what that would mean, either. It's as if you were shat out of someone else? It's as if you had just shat?
Ugh, my head is swimming.
Run a pencil-and-paper RPG campaign with your far-off friends: Gametable!
This from a guy whose every post gets instantly modded +5. In the Kingdom of the Geeks, Wesley Crusher is the Fonz. :-)
The bitter lessons of a veteran coder: http://bitterprogrammer.blogspot.com
Either that longwinded pontification or "Take that $50k you'll get in 12 years when you're done with that contract in Europe, dump into Chrysler at $10/share, sell at $70, dump immediately without paying taxes into eBay, sell at $200 after got knows how many splits in 2000 at the latest. Retire. Oh yeah, and don't forget to fuck the holy hell out of Debbie."
"Has [being a kidnapped teenage girl, raped repeatedly for months] changed you?" - Katie Couric to Elizabeth Smart
Back when I was 12, I wouldn't listento anybody!
I don't think I would have listened to myself.