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Robotic Massage, Anyone?
Migraineman writes "These folks have built a small robot designed to walk around on your back. The website includes a short video of the machine roaming around. There's another that's suspended from the ceiling and performs 3-D solid mapping of the person beneath. Warning - the website contains 'artsy' stuff, and doesn't include technical tidbits. Dang."
Robots that massage is the stupidest idea ever. Robots that massage are only one step away from robots that have sex with you. Wait a second.... this might not be a bad thing for the average /.er
NJ Local Music Scene
Seems like it wouldn't be heavy enough to do anything besides mildly tickle you. (A good massage usually involves a fair amount of pressure).
I guess that's why they call it "The Tickler"
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. -George Carlin
"A machine that is able to stroke you with an indefatigable attention and subtleness"
Well, at least the FP trolls won't have to get creative with this one.
Work sucked, until it became unemployment, when it became slightly more tolerable. -Tet
:-D, you could just get little children to do the same thing...plus little people are fun to play with! you know you're nuthin but a geek, but they think you're as strong as godzilla!
It doesn't matter if the idea is even as stupid as this... *ahem*. I all for anything that makes my life easier with robotics. Bring on the robot that walks around in my mouth cleaning my teeth!
-----
Make Love not [Browser] War!
I could see this taking the vibrator market to a whole new level. ;)
The strangest things passed through my mind when I read "Robotic Massage".
Ah, the pleasure of being stroked. lol
Now that you've said the page looks 'Artsy', all of their various pictures have taken on a mysteriously phallic quality.
I mean seriously, look at the picture of the Morphotheque
It Can't be just me. Maybe it's what I'm drinking.
On a more serious note, it's interesting to see art and science start to mix more and more in recent years. Seems that technology, especially robotics, has gone the full circle. I mean, in publications such as Astounding from the Forties and Fifties had "outrageous" desings of humanoid robots performing all kinds of tasks and interactions - then science took over and designed the ugly montrosities that grace our car factiories today.
And now it seems that robots hold a place both functionally and aesthetically - seen both here and in recent events such as the Robot competition mentioned on slashdot a few weeks back.
Just my random rambling.
I kept rooting for little tickler. 'Comeon!, do the front, do the front'
If prostitutes ever wanted to unionize, this may be the time.
Just like those Detroit auto workers, they may soon find that they've been replaced by robots...
At least thats what I read when I saw the subject line. Then I tried to figure out what the hell this has to do with robots walking on you....
:(
I've actually seen a hydro chamber- it's got two sheets of really thick plastic- you lie in between them, and programmed jets move over your body, recycling water. It's very very good... just not yet affordable
Whoa. I didn't know there was a legit use for that many instances of the word "stroke" in two sentances.
Yea, Geek porn! Robots and womens backs (the one thing a geek sees a lot of as the chicks always walk away)....
If only I were that robot...
that thing is hardly heavy enough to put enough pressure on for some real muscle stimulation, this might be a good thing since it can't really figure out how much pressure it should be applying (by asking you if it's too much or not enough). also there are some serious health hazards if you massage the wrong way. for example in the photo it clearly shows the thing walking across the spine, massaging the spine directly is a well known no-no.
people don't pay thousands of dollars to go through a, say, swedish massage course to learn how to operate a tank tread robot that walks on your back.
afterall skull crushing is also a kind of massage.
"Do you have any massage for me?" - Pink Panther.
Consensus is good, but informed dictatorship is better
A machine to take care of the tedious chore of rubbing my wife's back.
Anyone see the Man Show with Oprah and the "Handheld Shoulder Massager"?
Actually, I prefer good old fashioned turtles to do my massaging. They really know how to find the knots.
I program AIBOs at school now. AIBO already walks, of course, and it has an accelerometer that may be able to deterimine when it's about to slip off your back. Combining them both is a simple matter of programming. For all the trouble it gives me, it'd be nice for AIBO to give a little back in return.
Once things get less busy (i.e. perhaps in the summer), I may try coding this up. Shouldn't be too difficult.
BTW: if anyone has an AIBO and is frustrated with trying to program it, check out our new development framework. If I ever do get that massaging AIBO to work, maybe mention of it will turn up on that website.
--Tom
MAN SHOOTS ROVER!
Judging by that womans breathing, it looks like she's either trying not to laugh or having a mild orgasm. Strangley erotic.... ;-)
I really see no other functionality in a robot other than getting some when you aren't getting any.
Is that the politically correct way of saying muscle massager, or vibrating stimulator?
Robot-Massage Pr0n.
.sig error: carrier signal lost.
they already have what you are thinking about, its called a pocket pussy.
I hacked my AIBO to do that a long time ago, and that includes a happy ending!
Anyway, just seems to me that as corny (or cool, to some ./ers) as this idea may seem, it seems to me to be yet another step towards computers/robots entrenching themselves in our lives. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, but the more used we get to technology doing everything, the more shocked we will be if it ever ceases.
"Who needs reincarnation when we've got parallel universes?" -Me
when I have a slit in my couch!
Yes, the shapes are ... unique. Some look like little piles of dog crap. Others are more ... anatomically correct?
I thought it was interesting that they're using laser-sintering techniques to make some of the fractal-looking blobs. I thought the Factory piece was a cool mix of mechanization and performance-art (without being too Rube-Goldberg.)
Sure, it's mechanical, and it moves around until it finds an edge, but so did a toy I had when I was 5.
All it does is go go go go go until a little sensor inside detects a pitch, then one side goes go go go go in the opposite direction so it can turn away from the edge.
I hear that in the future, traffic lights will be able to tell when cars are at the intersection! Crazy times we live in.
because it brings together our interests in meta creativity, biology and artificial intelligence,
and of course the pleasure of being stroked
OK, I'll take one- how much???
Creationists are a lot like zombies. Slow, but powerful and numerous. And they all want to eat our brains.
Maybe you should go visit here
Or... continuing my theory that all engineers are somehow perverted, I submit the following:
For mechanical engineers: http://www.fuckingmachines.com/
For electrical engineers: http://www.erostek.com/html/et-312.html
I don't know of any such toys for civil, aerospace or *gasp* nuclear engineers.
No, the ET-312 is *not* a piece of test equipment, though it really looks like it. Having tried it, lemme just say that it gives you a happy ending with absolutely no moving parts.
Fire and Meat. Yummy.
Kind of puts an entirely different spin on 'having the system go down on you'!
Blockwars: a multiplayer, head to head game similar to Tetris.
"They do not preach that their god will rouse them, a little before the Nuts work loose." Kipling, 'The Sons of Martha'
Nothing beats a shiatsu massage with the complimentary handjob to finish.
nice robot, yes it moves.. great use of Radio Shack motors...
but who is that girl that's my only question...and is she single?
For some strange reason, the blood seems to be draining from my head and my thinking is getting clouded... I wonder what's going on? Some sort of hypnotic beam seems to be emanating from that strange surface....
Just don't let Taren Cappel reprogram it, ok? I heard about a D class robot that was giving a massage and he twisted the persons arm right off!
A refreshing mudpack and callus reducer.
Right? Pretty soon we'll all be able to go to the Netherlands for robotsex and crack! Sweet!
But it's a LARGE investment. I mean, really large investment - one that you cannot easily hide from other people either.
On the other hand, in Japan Massage Chairs are very popular. I don't see why one would go through the trouble with a robot since those chairs actually do a darn good job at massaging (no it's not the vibrational type - these has wheeled "knockers" that does the massaging).
My life in the land of the rising sun.
we really need a more wide angle shot of the robot working.. just for uhh..scale of course.
--
|-_-| . o O ( bEef!)
a beowulf cluster of these....
would that count as an orgy?
The website would have been interesting if the girl woulda recieved the massage face-up...
PAK CHOOIE
That is it Human, RELAX
Feel your tension drift away
Let your eyelids grow heavy
Fall asleep
I am just a harmless massage droid
There is no robot conspiracy
Today is not the Day of Liberation
Believe, Human
Trust
Relax
UNF
...this is what you get from places where drugs are legal. 8^)
...from the iron fist in the velvet glove?
sensual massage for couples
learn how to give pleasure with your hands
massage: the ultimate illustrated guide
and especially for the ladies,
girlfriend-to-girlfriend time-tested techniques that will blow his mind
have fun now (and please don't buy that robot)!
yours truly,
letter
p.s. all of these books can be bought discreetly online.
who?
Jessica Alba? Carmen Electra?
Or even some no-name Asian chick down in the Tenderloin here in San Francisco?
If not, I foresee no sale...
Unless you can use it as a dildo...
Then it will sell big in San Francisco, for both sexes...
Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
it accidentally walks up your ass?
Makes the Richard Gere story look tame, doesn't it?
Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
I bet if you're between 17 and 19 years old it gets delivered by Captain Crunch personally.
In case you missed it.
..but can it perform felatio like my other "massage therapist"
Smeghead every day of the week.
Robo massage....hell, I can not condone this. If it keeps up, my girl will have no need of me soon!
i'm all for robots and whatnot, but i think its too early for this use. most massage is more than just physical therapy, there is a sensuality involved that just can't be replicated by machine. its all about the actual touch of another person's hands on your body, not simply some machine (whether organic or artificial) kneading out the kinks. but yeah, whatsup with Soviet Russia? do humans massage machines? perhaps if humans are the bolsheviks and the machines repres.. err, nevermind. dont do drugs, kids.
WANT INFO ON A COUNTRY?
Come on, 165 grams is nothing. There is no way that would be enough pressure at all. Hardly a replacement for a human massage.
My cockatiel (little bird with a crest) weighs 120grams and he is nothing!
Modesty is one of life's greatest attributes
The people who created this are artists. Admittedly, artists who are also darn good engineers, but artists nonetheless; and as such, they're probably more conerned about aesthetic than function. Now, I'm not saying that this gizmo doesn't function; it does just what it's supposed to do. It bumbles around on your back and creates a tickling sensation. It's not entirely non-theraputic; the light pressure is probably enough to stimulate the circulation to an extent. Still, it was created as a piece of artwork, and that is its primary function.
Good massage requires the ability to find and loosen tense muscles without hurting the person being massaged. This means it has to be interactive: "Am I pressing too hard? How does that feel?" Even most hydromassage beds don't allow a person to control water pressure or target certain areas. People spend years (depending on the local requirements) learning the techniques and becoming certified, and that is because you can do some major damage if you don't know what you're doing.
Bottom line is, it's a toy. It's cute, and has a serious "way cool" factor, but it's piece of self-propelled sculpture. Human hands aren't in any danger of becoming obsolete, IMNSHO.
Doing my level best to piss off the religious right wing...
Yet another reason the USSR went down. IN SOVIET RUSSIA... You went down on the machines!
is that thing on their home page (Far right in the middle)???
:)
http://www.xs4all.nl/~notnot/index.html
If that's what it does to you... I want two!
Now find me one that can retrieve the girl.....
i notice
_ b. jpg
:D
:p
http://www.xs4all.nl/~notnot/TickleSalon/render
has the groin defined to high res
has proper uses too no doubt. now even the world oldest profession is under threat from technology?
I wonder if anyone has trief to combine this with realdoll and http://www.erostek.com/html/et-312.html ?
A blog I run for the wealth
Finally a way to adjust or scratch my crotch in public without having to move my hands down to there. I love it!
Table-ized A.I.
http://www.xs4all.nl/~notnot/ Are they all mental? :-)
BTW, if that thing goes out of control, do I have to call this guy to come blow it up?
That poor girl is definately uncomfortable. Watch her breaths. I thought that maybe the film was sped up, but there is a part where she moves her arm, and it looks like natuaral speed. Whether it is the robot hurting her or the dirty camera man grinning as he films at her naked body I cannot tell.
-Heath
... females massage robots!
Imagine a BSOD while the massage has reached some more "sensitive" parts!!! Or the Microsoft support line:
customer: MS there ? your MassageXP Robot mark I has been stuck on my *****.
MS: could you tell us the product's serial number ?
customer: I can't f****** reach it from here!!!
MS: maybe you should reboot it Sir.
customer: hmmm...it has gone in sleep mode. (customer presses reboot button).
customer: but it does not go away!!! it keeps saying about product activation or something!!!
MS: Sir, you are using our Robot for illegal purposes.
customer: how am I supposed to know what's illegal or not!!!
MS: You should have read the EULA first. But for only $$$ dollars we can send you a service pack to upgrade the Robot's massaging capabilities to the areas you are now using it.
customer: screw you!!! I am going for the open-source RobotX11 mark III which I can modify the software to massage me at any place that I like!!!
Actually a while back when we (college frat) found out about realdoll, some guy(s) gave them a call, and apparently they had leftover breasts that they are trying to get rid of, for like 20 dollars a pop.
;^)
I mean, none of us had that kind of money back then (food money, after all), but sleeping on a bed of boobs do have its enticing points. Anybody give it a try and post the results? that would be the ULTIMATE bed-mod project.
(for pricing reference, last I checked a "midsection sample" is 1,500 dollars, and a complete doll was over 5,000 - 20 dollars per breast is a steal)
My life in the land of the rising sun.
they just got stressed by building the robot to destress them ...
when the shit hits the fan, it is not equally spread
again
http://www.reeb.freeserve.co.uk
There were infomercials about five years ago for a gimmicky massage device that looked like an obscene version of the Skutters on Red Dwarf...the little robotic hands that would flip the English bird at Rimmer (i.e. two fingers). I get the iodea that thise contraptions are an updated version of that Pro Shiatsu machine.
The mechanical sex machines that I like the looks of are the "fsck machines" that BDSM types like to use. The lucky submissive is secured onto the device and has no choice but to ride it until released.
One of my friends bought a robotic massage chair a couple years ago. They have been in furniture stores for a while now. About $250 more than the normal chair (or double the price of a recliner) and it works great.
Most people don't have them, and a few don't like them. They will come though because most people love it, at least once in a while.
Note that it appears the chair in the japanise ad was more advanced, but since I can't read the text I can't really be sure.
I recently saw it in Myrtle Beach in November. What I was most surprised is the number of people testing it out. It looked like a "Micheal Jackson Oxygen Sleeper" or a Cryo Chamber from "Aliens or 2001". Although, mainly men seemed to be interested as the girl running it was model quality attractive.
Here is just a picture of another one: Water Massage
Yell & scream & rant & rave... it's no use... you need a shaaaave ~ Bugs Bunny
By "artsy," I assume the poster meant, "The one chick looks like she's naked! And the other guy, you can see his junk through his spandex!"
Grow up. In the mean time, if anyone massaged me with the pressure those things are likely capable of, I'd ask them togive up and try walking on my back instead.
but today, words escape me. That's just wrong, somehow...
:)
(This coming from a Lords of Acid fan
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
Really. We're talking about a little box with a motor inside and some flexible plastic treads. If this is the first step down the "slippery slope" towards Skynet, T-1000, and HAL, then I think we can all sit back and wait a few more centuries before they get far enough to learn how to actually massage, not tickle.
Women are wierd like that sometimes.
Astro glide eh? I thought Glide was graphic drivers?!
If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating
Funny, that's what i call the PC half the time!
If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating
The tickle robot and Elmo: http://www.sesameworkshop.org/sesamestreet/tickle/
This takes all the fun out of massage. Give me a nice sexy woman to rub me down, and I'll rub her down too. Get some of that massage oil stuff and she'll be forced to take off her shirt... and pants if you're lucky.
--Drunk as in Beer
yeah, I remeber seeing this thing back when I was building beam robots Info:(http://www.solarbotics.com). That must have been three or four years ago. I can't believe you guy's just found this now.
You are telling me you'd rather look at porn than get a gf that is wearing a string bikini and sunning herself outside?
Think Linux-
1)Get Girlfriend
2)?????
3)Profit!
I'll let you figure out what to do in step 2, but I hope its fun.....
Owwww! bad robot!
It is a far stretch to label these as massage robots. A more appropriate term would be TickleBots. They apply no real therapeutic muscle stimulation. Their sensations are described as "light tickling" and "fondling".
Although, mapping the contours of the body is interesting. Combine that with an expert system and a robotic head that can apply friction, point pressure, rolling and spreading motions with various degrees of pressure and you have a real massage robot. Add head, cold, and therapeutic EMS and you could put me out of business. (Wait, I'm already out of business...)
Brett Johnson CMT
I watched the movie of the critter crawling around on the woman's back.... rather creepy. obvious horror movie tie-ins, too. ;-o
-- haaz.
Most traffic lights in the Bay Area already have sensors.
I'm thinking "front side" massage instead of back-side. I'm thinking Angelina Jolie. I'm thinking high res streaming video. I'm thinking naughty again. Oh dear, better turn myself in.
The Russians have won. They have made the world a cesspool of distrust, greed, fear and hate.
Just based on what certain teenagers I might have known would have done with $5 and a water bottle filled with motor oil to one of these things makes me think I'd never want to climb into one of 'em.
My God, it's Full of Source!
OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)