Slashdot Mirror
Space Wedding Successful
The Llama King writes "Love transcends all, including gravity, the atmosphere and orbital altitudes. According to this story at the Houston Chronicle, "Yuri Malenchenko didn't let the fact that he's living aboard the international space station stop him from marrying his bride, Ekaterina Dmitriev." The bride was at Johnson Space Center near Houston, while the groom circled 240 miles above her. The honeymoon will have to wait."
Check out the amazing Yoshi girl and her playful tentacle friend! Rides starting soon at $29.99 (Saddle not included; children ride for half-price).
/.'ers. In the meantime try these other quality sites for all your horny geek fanboy needs:
.com venture
Yoshi-girl is genetically engineered to be in constant sexual heat and is guaranteed to pounce on even the smelliest nerd with little coaxing! Spending a few hours with Yoshi-girl is sure to be the most gratifying experience you've had in years. Don't believe us? Just look at these testimonials from previous customers:
Hunched over in that uncomfortable chair writing Linux kernel code all day was really tense. Human girls wouldn't come near me, but Yoshi-girl treated me like I was the last man on Earth. Two thumbs up!
-- Linus Torvalds
Sure she's not human, but it sure beats all the sleazy Mexican whores I've been with, and believe me, I've been with more than you can count. You go Yoshi!
-- Miguel De Icaza
You gotta love the 2-foot-long tongue.
-- Richard Stallman
Official webpage with registration info and pricing coming soon, be patient
Lara Croft Land
Natalie Portman covered with hot grits
RMS gone wild!
CowboyNeal: behind the blubber
Taco's new
# Important Smurfs: Please try to keep posts on Smurfette.
# Try to spooge on other people's comments instead of starting new threads (of semen.)
# Read George Bush's subliminablble messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. (Like George W and his Dad)
# Use a clear lubricant that describes what your message is about.
# Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be NAZI-Fied. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the Loser Rights Page)
# If you want replies to your trolls sent to you, consider logging in or creating a trolling account.
Problems regarding accounts or comment posting should be sent to Hitler
# Important Smurfs: Please try to keep posts on Smurfette.
# Try to spooge on other people's comments instead of starting new threads (of semen.)
# Read George Bush's subliminablble messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. (Like George W and his Dad)
# Use a clear lubricant that describes what your message is about.
# Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be NAZI-Fied. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the Loser Rights Page)
# If you want replies to your trolls sent to you, consider logging in or creating a trolling account.
Problems regarding accounts or comment posting should be sent to Hitler
# Important Smurfs: Please try to keep posts on Smurfette.
# Try to spooge on other people's comments instead of starting new threads (of semen.)
# Read George Bush's subliminablble messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. (Like George W and his Dad)
# Use a clear lubricant that describes what your message is about.
# Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be NAZI-Fied. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the Loser Rights Page)
# If you want replies to your trolls sent to you, consider logging in or creating a trolling account.
Problems regarding accounts or comment posting shoul
The F married the P
So, did he kiss the camera or the television screen when the pastor said "the groom may now kiss the bride"?
I'm the Devil the Windows users warned you about.
Get back to me when the couple is in space together. And post videos.
The unofficial
That's no honeymoon!
You fail it to Yoshi-Slut, biatch!
Please try to keep posts on topic
Making a marriage work till death
do you part - now *that's* a challenge.
"One of these days Alice, POW! To the moon!"
If you don't understand that, you don't watch enough TV Land or just entirely too young.
Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered Google community when IDC confirmed that Google market share has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of all web searches. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that Google has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Google is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by Yahoo's failure to renew its exclusive deal with Google.
You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict Google's future. The hand writing is on the wall: Google faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Google because Google is dying. Things are looking very bad for Google. As many of us are already aware, Google continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.
Google search is the most endangered of them all, having lost most of its core affiliates. The sudden and unpleasant departures of Yahoo and AOL only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: Google is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Google.com founder Sergey Brin states that there are 7000 users of Google. How many users of Verity are there? Let's see. The number of Google versus Verity posts on USENET is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 Verity users. AskJeeves posts on USENET are about half of the volume of Verity posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of Inktomi. A recent article put Teoma at about 80 percent of the search engine market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 Google users. This is consistent with the number of Google USENET posts.
Due to the troubles of Google News, abysmal sales and so on, Google is going out of business and will probably be taken over by idealab! who operate another troubled search engine. Now Inktomi is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major surveys show that Google has steadily declined in market share. Google is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Google is to survive at all it will be among search engine dilettante dabblers. Google continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical p
I'm sorry, but Successful!?
How the hell would it be unsuccessful - are there technical issues related to communicating vows over a radio link or something... although how did they sign the register?
And consummation, well, you don't want any problems on re-entry I guess - fly me to the moon baby!
I wonder how they deal with jism squirts in microgravity - cause that's the most this guy is going to get till he hits ground. Does it foul the filters?
HBI's Law: Frequency of calling others Nazis is directly correlated with the likelihood of the accuser being Communist.
What, were you expecting a crash or something to interrupt the wedding?
Weddings are almost always successful. On the other hand, living with shackles for the rest of your life... =P
don't both parties have to sign the marriage register and get it witnessed together for a marriage to be valid?
As a married man I can guarantee him that after about a year he'll be begging to be allowed back on spacestation.... alone.
Thats just funny...oh wait,ummm. This could be my only chance to marry a supermodel.
I'm moving to Texas!!!!
I was under the impression that it's pretty easy to annul an uncomsummated marriage.
Infuriate left and right
We know who is on top now, but one has to wonder about the honeymoon..
"Texas law allows weddings in which one of the parties is not present. "
Physically absent obviously works, but how about mentally absent? How about both? Could a cardboard cut-out and a talented ventriloquist be all that's needed to wed someone in a coma? Could this lead to a mediocre sequel to "While you were sleeping."? With the wonders of artificial insemination a swinging bachelor could easily wake up from a 20-year coma and immediately face college bills for his kids.
Too bad she can't come up for the honeymoon. If ya know what I mean.
--- to swing on the spiral...
That must have been one brutal pregnant pause to wait for the radio lag between "Do you take..." and the "I do". I wonder if for a second the thought passed through the poor guy's head..."Is she thinking about it?" I didn't see in the article where he was in orbit. Heck, instead of 380km he could have been more like 6,400 km away or so. Did they wait to do the ceremony until he was more or less overhead? I wonder if this is the farthest apart two people have been when they were married, other than when MJ married Lisa Marie Presley.
I just heard some sad news on TV - Famous whore and slut Kathleen Fent was found dead in her Michigan home this morning. There weren't any more details, other than the theory that she choked on CmdrTaco's one-and-only pubic hair. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss her - even if you didn't enjoy her teethy blowjobs, there's no denying her contributions to our cocks. Truly an American icon.
I find it interesting that the Russian Space Agency objected to this because they thought he was showboating and it would be an unappropriate, yet seem to have no problem launching boy-band members into space if they have the coin.
"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance." - Thomas Sowell
I can say that 240 miles away from the wife is about as good a honeymoon as you can get.
It has been 15 minutes since a story about love & marriage appeared on Slashdot, and no one has been modded "Insightful" or "Informative" yet.
The unofficial
It's hard to say that this wedding is successful. After all, they are just married. It will take a couple years of dish throwing and trips to the hospital and county lockup before we can say one way or another whether this was a successful match up.
I thought that they were botth up there. We could have killed two birds w/ one stone:
1) First space wedding
2) First space fucking
I too have received offers to get hitched with a hot russian woman from a long distance!
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
Damn slashdot!
I come here to forget about how horribly lonely I feel... I'm a grade 'A', by the books, no bloody doubt, computer nerd. And as such, I have NO love life... so why must you speak of marriage? I can't even get a damn girlfriend... I'm sitting here reading slashdot to try and forget how miserable an existance I have writing code for a living, with absolutely no social life... and you have the nerve to post a marriage story???
---
Programming is like sex... Make one mistake and support it the rest of your life.
Many states allow this. The primary purpose is so people in the military who have been called to duty can marry their significant other left back at home ("Gee, I might get killed over here and never see you again... I want to get married now just in case I never get the chance to see you again....") So a serviceman over in Iraq can marry his girlfriend who is still here in the states. Proxies are allowed, too.
Stupid people make stupid things profitable.
It's true. Get over it, married idiot geeks.
You shouldn't have married the first ugly chick that let you fuck her. You'll pay for it your entire life now and let me tell you: She doesn't get prettier over the years...
I looked at her picture in the story and there is no cum on her face.
I don't read Slashdot.
Even if you're in space, you cannot escape getting married. So much for my "i'm out of town" excuse.
Dork! Be fucking glad you aren't married! You can't imagine how fucking boring and repetetive your life gets if you must spend the rest of it with only one woman! Face it: Women DO GET boring after some time. Humans are not made for those lifelong relationships. It's unnatural.
Marriage is the easy part. The fiery reentry is the hard part. And if you deorbit enough it grows boring from the familiarity.
She has nice, pipe-fitter lips. No disrespect, but trust me, my boy. There's two things I'm good at. That's pulling dents, and spottin' good blow jobs. And that sweetie has world-class blow job lips. Am I right, skipper?
wouldn't it be awesome if such a thing actually existed?
...remember a certain Lunar park? ;)
Kjella
Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/030 810/161/4xwoo.html
Get ready for John Gray's next book.
Cause noone can hear you scream.
They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
Yes, but the space "consumation of the wedding" will be much harder!
"We shall party like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean." - HedonismBot
Can the captain of the ship marry you in space like he can at sea? Captain Kirk did it... No wait, the groom died, didn't he? Hope the cosmonaut isn't wearing a red shirt.
Apparently even Taco finally realized what a horror it is to wake up to her mug every day.
Reports are that Taco is now banging some stolen infant named "Marticock".
Likely NASA already has a quiet solution to the problem, like those cyanide capsules "Just in Case". Probably it's a $6000 old sock that conforms to milspec.
...with some of these tools. +5 informative.
He said the ceremony was totally lacking in atmosphere.
http://saveie6.com/
g_______________________________________________g
o_/_____\_____________\____________/____\_______o
a|_______|_____________\__________|______|______a
t|_______`._____________|_________|_______:_____t
s`________|_____________|________\|_______|_____s
e_\_______|_/_______/__\\\___--___\\_______:____e
x__\______\/____--~~__________~--__|_\_____|____x
*___\______\_-~____________________~-_\____|____*
g____\______\_________.--------.______\|___|____g
o______\_____\______//_________(_(__>_\___|____o
a_______\___.__C____)_________(_(____>_|__/____a
t_______/\_|___C_____)/_MADE\_(_____>_|_/______t
s______/_/\|___C_____)__WITH |__(___>_/__\______s
e_____|___(____C_____)__A MAC/__//__/_/_____\___e
x_____|____\__|_____\\_________//_(__/_______|__x
*____|_\____\____)___`----___--'_____________|__*
g____|__\______________\_______/____________/_|_g
o___|______________/____|_____|__\____________|_o
a___|_____________|____/__MY___\__\___________|_a
t___|__________/_/____|__KARMA__|__\___________|t
s___|_________/_/______\__/\___/____|__________|s
e__|_________/_/________|____|_______|_________|e
x__|__________|_________|____|_______|_________|x
*_g_o_a_t_s_e_x_*_g_o_a_t_s_e_x_*_g_o_a_t_s_e_x_*
I knew it wanted to please me. I managed my underwear over my huge unit. It went directly to my anus, smoothing it's saliva ridden handle over it, lubing it up for penetration. It went in gently at first, a little bit at a time, a little further each shove. I started lightly moaning. It kept shoving, moving with more force, and speed. I started groaning a bit, I wanted all of it in me. It started getting quite powerful, and my anus finally gave way, and swallowed it whole. I rode it out, groaning louder, with each push. It felt so good, I knew I was close to orgasm, I could feel my balls tremble with delight. But, without notice, it pulled out. I groaned, trying to pull it back in, still wanting to feel the pleasure. But it insisted on going around front.
It smoothed itself around my massive manhood, bouncing it up and down. It was rubbing the cock head now, soaking it with its' juices. Jerking me at a wonderfully slow pace, that made me cringe with sensation. It was now Jerking me faster, up and down, left and right, all around. Moving me so fast, my balls ached as they bounced against the pan. I moved with it's speedy motion, groaning loudly, and moving my head back, in sexual glory. I was ready to blow, and then it happened. As I let out one loud grunt, streams of cum shot out, dripping down the pan. It jerked me until every hot, creamy shot, was out. It was over, I had lived my fantasy.
[ Reply to This ]
- Sorry about this by Michael (Score:4)
Tuesday Jul 08, @03:02AM
185 replies beneath your current threshold.Parent is a sick bastard for making such an evil pun.
Who wants to fuck the Honeymoon Gloom,
the Honeymoon Gloom
the Honeymoon Gloom
Who wants to fuck the Honeymoon Gloom,
and stick your tongue in his bowels.
Some smuggled vodka leads to an impromptu lamp dance in the laboratory module. Researchers are left puzzled at the offscale readings that occurred during the protein crystal growth experiment.
Hot wife
Malenchenko: Roger. Yes I do. Over.
[Communication dropped due to slashdot effect.]
Dmitriev: What about me?!?!
Priest: Well, I guess we'll have to try again tomorrow!
slashdot is teh kewl !!!
Didn't they do this on an episode of MASH?
Mix the failings of Usenet with the shortcomings of the World Wide Web and the result is slashdot.
That's a long time to wait to "hit it".
-EB
Do you ever walk alone like a drifter in the dark?
to see if they're still together before pronouncing the marriage "successful"?
nt
I got a new life you would hardly recognize me
I'm so glad
How can a person like me care for you?
Why do I bother
When you're not the one for me
ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh, is enough enough
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up
to get into the light where you belong
But where do you belong?
Under the pale moon
for so many years I wondered who you are
How can a person like you bring me joy?
Under the pale moon
where I see a lot of stars
ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh, is enough enough
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up
to get into the light where you belong
But where do you belong?
I saw the sign and it opened up my mind
and I am happy now living without you
I've left you, oh oh oh
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up
to get into the light where you belong
I saw the sign
I saw the sign
and it opened up my eyes I saw the sign
I thought this was /. not 20/20 or a human-interest blurb on the local news.
Again, our country's foremost innovators lead the way.
So, did he kiss the camera or the television screen when the pastor said "the groom may now kiss the bride"?
Before the days of telecommunications, such a wedding would be done by proxy. I do not assume that there would be any kissing or anything, but basically one of the people would designate someone else to go through the ceremony on their behalf.
LedgerSMB: Open source Accounting/ERP
had a helicopter hovering above the ISS throughout the ceremony.
...the first space divorce?
/sad but had to be said
Blog Prophyts - Right On, Man
It's a good thing we got this news of a Russian nerd marrying someone 230 miles away, while trapped in a small aluminium box. There's hope for the nerds trapped in their parents basement yet!
GOD! Whats the night of there honeymoon like... Well thanks god for webcams :>S
--Matt Fisher
They are rumored to start practicing their skills in docking procedures as soon as he gets back.
As long as there is a Second Amendment, there will always be a First Amendment.
... cause if half of what you said is true... then you must have one hell of a low UID!!!
I only look human.
My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
I've always thought that the gift shop at the Smithsonian Museum of Air and Space should sell freeze-dried wedding cake.
Now they'll have to listen to me!.
Ergonomica Auctorita Illico!
Nah, those astronauts aren't like real people. Most are straight as an arrow - you have to be to be in good enough physical and mental shape to do that. Most are likely married. It's highly unlikely that on any given mission, there would be two willing and able participants. It's not like they recruit crack whores for astronauts. Maybe if a married couple were sent... maybe. I'm sure there's rules against cracking open a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon and seducing your fellow astronauts.
Though, it would be cool if some porn stars volunteered and were accepted on such a mission. Science would benefit, somehow, as would the world of entertainment.
"Would it kill you to put down the toilet seat?" -- Maya Angelou
The husband looks frighteningly like spoon-bender Uri Geller.
"Sufferin' succotash."
I'm sure NASA would have offered him a seat on the next shuttle coming back. Oh well.....
The groom gets down to ground without being spread over the Southern states.
How long until someone runs in a California gubernatorial recall election while aboard the International Space Station?
The list of candidates for this upcoming recall election was finalized yesterday, and people in space are hardly represented at all. There are 155 candidates on the ballot, so you would think that at least a few of them would be in orbit around the earth right now. But not a single one of them is currently in free fall at the moment, and in fact, not a single member of this opportunist whack-pack has ever been in space at all. In fact, the most space experience any of them has involves a starring role in a Hollywood movie set on Earth and Mars.
Davis, for his part, has never been in space either, and has a consistent record of not hiring spacemen to work for him. In fact, whatever the outcome of the recall election, one thing is certain: the future governor of California will not be running the state from orbit. Is this the kind of future we want for California? Think of the children.
There may be issues with California state law. In a transparently cynical attempt to keep the spacefaring community out of the California political process, the state may require that the candidate appear in person to sign papers registering for the ballot. The 65 signatures can be collected remotely, and the $3500 transferred by wire, so why should the signature remain as an insurmountable problem? I'm sure reasonable states like Texas allow a person to register for the ballot while in space. Other roadblocks thrown in the path of astronauts seeking to join the recall ballot include a 15-day California residency requirement. Davis supporters argue that this is simply to restrict the election to California residents. But when your orbiting spacecraft has been entering and leaving the borders of the state of California at least once a day for hundreds of days, it becomes pretty hypocritical for someone to insist that you haven't racked up your 15.
Voters are tired of "politics as usual". It's time for someone with a fresh perspective on the issues in Sacramento. From 240 miles up, moving by at 17000 miles per hour, through a little glass porthole.
Also, imagine spending your wedding night alone with only your best man. At least they have a room with a view!
Patent: from Latin patere, to be open
He's wearing a bowtie! Now if that ain't class, I don't know what is. ;)
i don't know about that.
if there's one technology that's really exploded lately, it's live chat videocam sex.
this might be it's first non-pathetic application.
The wedding was planned a long time before , and before the shuttle disaster and the disruption to the usual schedule and the extended missions.
He may not be allowed up again, but hopefully with some skillful publicity (the video rights were sold), he won't need it. He would certainly not be well paid from the military.
See my journal, I write things there
Having the marriage anulled is probably something Yuri will want anyway, as far as I know this is his fourth (or was that third) attempt. If Yuri and Ed only had web access (they don't, only email) they might have answered them selves...
I can see a small problem: the com-link between them might be line of sight, so he'd be dropping over the horizon just as things started getting good... "da... da!... bozhe moi!"
(this is not a
May be it's time to learn how the most of the slavic female last (family) names are composed. Yes, I mean her name is not Dmitriev - it's Dmitrieva. Noticed the 'a' at the end? It designates that the name bearer is a woman. And yes - her brother's (if she has a brother) last name is Dmitriev.
Has anybody ever ahd sex in space. I reckon it would be really sweet as. no worrying about whos on top etc. Those russian guys were up there by themselves for a year so masturbation in space must ahve happened.
-- Karma Karma Karma Karma, Karma Chameleon - Boy George
...after some rather heated arguments, one partner
does another 'WorldFirst(TM)' by devorcing the other parther -after- burying them under several feet of concrete.
The first successful "Space Wedding" will involve both parties being in space, and having a uniquely low-g honeymoon.
The cool part is, there's nothing to really prevent this from happening soon, what with space tourism finally having occured, etc...
It would earn the Russians more than sending boy bands up there, they know the sales of porn since the 70s during which time they had the monopoly.
There might be a space race going between them and Americas. A seperate cargo rocket will carry the viagra.
"Give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you." -Nim Chimpsky
Yup, that's what my brain saw. Not wedding, welding.
they should just repeat the Apollo 13 theme
You can't handle the truth.
...Attention whore!
Seriously. These space trips are planned way in advance. If he planned the trip to space then planned his wedding to happen while he was in space then that's the definition of an attention whore.
Can't the honeymoon be accomplished with some sort of carbon-nanotube configuration?
The submit button is binding everywhere!
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.