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Perl Haiku Contest Winners Announced
prostoalex writes "The ActiveState Perl Haiku Poetry Contest has ended. The results are in and here's the page with all the entries." Here's the original announcement.
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GNAA (sung to the tune to Y.M.C.A. by the Village People)
... you'll find it at the G-N-A-A.
... you'll find it at the G-N-A-A.
Black man, there's no need to feel bad.
I said, black man, c'mon don't be so drab.
Don't let those bloggers ruin your day.
There are still pla-ces to be gay.
Black man, there's this place you should see.
I said, black man, fire up IRC.
There's this channel, that I'm sure you will like.
Every-thing is gonna be all-right.
It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!
It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!
You can go as you please,
Feel your hair in the breeze,
Crapflood Live Journal with ease!
It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!
It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!
You can write a good troll,
For the next Slashdot poll,
You can jerk off to goatse's hole!
Black man, why be here all alone?
I said, black man, you can get yourself boned.
I said, black man, you can get on teh spoke,
With thou-sands of gay nigger blokes.
Black man, are you down with this funk?
I said, black man, why you touching your junk?
Just go there, go to #gnaa
And apply for membership today!
It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!
It's fun to hang with the G-N-A-A!
You can go as you please,
Feel your hair in the breeze,
Crapflood Live Journal with ease!
G-N-A-A
Black man, there's no need to feel bad.
I said, black man, c'mon don't be so drab.
G-N-A-A
Black man, are you down with this funk? I said, black man, why you touching your junk?
I thought it was asking for code as actually Haiku, not just a little poem about Perl... that's kinda silly. Oh well.
These were cute when they first came out, but I kind of feel that people should spend more time enterprise-proofing their Open Source applications than crafting poetry into silly little code snippets that don't do anything of significance.
If Microsoft did this, you would make fun of them. But since it's Perl, apparently it's OK.
Meanwhile, we've got Firebird, which crashes every 10 page loads, we've got GCC, which pales in comparison to Intel's compiler, and Linux *still* isn't desktop-ready for the future of home PC computing.
But that's OK, keep wasting our Open Source talent and man-months on these haiku contests. Yeah, that makes sense *sigh*.
Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate. Ex-O'Reilly/MIT employee, now a full-time Google employee.
Perl Haiku So Gay
Cannot Believe You Faggots
Even Give A Shit
There once was a pedophile called Taco
who fucked a mexican named Paco
the kid was smart
and sued the retard
now he lives behind bars, the whacko.
slash dot
it sucks so much
it brings tears
why would anyone use perl when you have ruby?
i think taco should rewrite slashcode in ruby,.. but want he cant even make it xhtml complaint or fix the fucking layout tables (which were never meant for layout anyway, but who cares about standards?)
so maybe the title should be slashdot sucks. or maybe taco sucks. who knows.
Please don't take this as a flamebait, but isn't it your impression that Perl is still touted only in Slashdot?
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found here
Perr. Is it good or is it whack?
First post whoo; I rule Slashdot haiku should be next Pointless post this
group of faggots
who eat shit
total losers all
Many perl haikus
Many Slashdot visitors
No response, it's down.
Ceci n'est pas une signature
print "I am Howard\n";
print "Will you vote for me please?\n";
die "Fucking hippies.\n";
First post whoo; I rule
Slashdot haiku should be next
Pointless post this
Perl Haiku pushes the limit of the excuse of "why not?" when it comes to wasting your time.
Work is punishment for failing to procrastinate effectively.
I cannot create
a haiku in time for the
first post. Woe is me.
I am one of many. My idea is not unique, nor do I expect my voice alone to sway you. I speak in a chorus of opinion.
Here's the original announcement.
oh thanks michael. that one is a lot better than the first link in the article.
Let poets write poems
Let coders write code
Stay your path
Code in Perl and write
What looks like hieroglyphics
But at least it works
We own the IP
Novell's claims are strong indeed
Lawsuit is dying!
broke, wrote sort
btree money
perl job hungry
Of course, no discussion of haikus and computers would be relevant these days without mentioning SPAM...
Haiku'da Been a Spam Filter
I liked this one:
Name: Albert Braun
Haiku:
my coworker thinks
perl is something to laugh at
it is not, smartass
Abuzar Chaudhary entered ten thousand now her PM is mad
i try to code perl
but i am very stupid
divide by zero
code.' Don't for 7he project.
Haiku is 31337
Or so Neil Stephenson wrote
So posers do Haiku
No good in English
Haiku is for Japaneese
In English it is...
Bad.
a tear leaves my eye because perl will never be as cool as python
As words from my lips,
.
so Perl flies from my fingers -
Ecstatic coding!
From God to Larry,
"Be fruitiful and multiply!"
Perl coders went forth.
--LP
I just don't get it. What is this obsession of Geeks and Haiku?
by CptChipJew (301983) on Thursday January 22, @11:24PM
(#8062958)
(Monday August 25, @03:56AM)
open(heart_to_perl);
content-type: haiku/firstpost;
or die "i fail it";
IMHO, he shoulda won. I was ROFL till the next day after seeing that one.
C|N>K
My name is Chandeep
IT pro from Bangalore
I have your job now!
These are terrible haikus... these people should stick to programming, not poetry. It makes me cringe just thinking about them...
Read the article.
Was not that interesting.
Now, time for some porn.
Let me see now... somthing about a girl from Nantuckit...
Although I like Perl,
I am beginning to like
Python even more.
It's a very dark ride.
Perl's syntax screams out
"Kill me now, kill me quickly"
I use Python now
Most of the "in perl" haiku's just have semi-colons at the end of each line... i'm not a perl expert but it looks like few of them would compile... and almost none of them are in any way clever (putting the actual haiku in print statements is just stupid). Who picked the winners, anyway? There are much better ones there...
Haiku article. So many haiku replies. So predictable.
Esoteric reference.
Perl flame wars erupt
Socially inept coders
Yep, this is Slashdot
You step in the stream
But the water has moved on
The page is not here
---- perl -e 'print $i=pack(c5,(41*2),sqrt(7056),(unpack(c,H)-2),oct(
No, because every last one of the python haikus would be about how much better it is than perl.
What is it about python and ruby that requires some people to talk about how great it is every 15 seconds, even if it doesn't apply to the situation at hand?
Python is banal
Ruby is pretentious
Perl is beautiful
Name: Geoff Kuenning
Haiku:
Unreadable code,
Why would anyone use it?
Learn a better way.
And they gave it a "dishonorable mention". You can't question these psychos; so Fuck perl.
Like VB Scripting,
PHP pales to my Perl.
PHP is for kids.
One of my entries won 3rd place in the 'Written In Perl' category. I flipped out when I saw I had actually won. I figured the 'brute force of brainwashing/pestering the judges' was, at best, worth a mild chuckle. And I certainly thought all of my others were better. But I'm not one to argue.
I've been going on and on about it since Monday. Mostly because for me, it it means I have now unmistakably crossed the point of no return. I can no longer deny I am a geek. I can no longer even pretend to. But It's ok, I have come to terms.
best web host ever
This is so much fun
Haiku story on slashdot
Now we are poets
the neophyte wrote it in perl
said the birds wouldn't return next spring
it was a long winter
Save your wrists today - switch to Dvorak
This one is better:
Fuck you fuck you fuck
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck
Fuck you fuck you Snow
this is the gayest
thing i have ever witnessed
get a life you losers
So-called "haikus" that doesn't include a kigo, or "season word" aren't haikus at all, but senryus. In reality, this is a senryu competition.
Many Haikus on Slashdot
Cannot reply in any prose
It must mach the others
Kevin
"It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in" O. Nash
I didn't win, but at least I'm in the list!
old perl releases
grave security issue
buffer overruns
Still #1 -- Lonely Gay Geek
"Perl is t3h R0XX0RZ!"
"f00, PHP kicks perls a$$!"
The flame wars begin...
Happiness is like peeing yourself. Everybody can see it but only you can feel its warmth.
goatse.cx is down
But I still have hot grits
down my pants
first post!
the root of all evil
moderate down
innovative site
but then they sold out
stock now worthless
captain neal
I always vote for him
polls are silly
According to
/. replies) are not actual haikus.
http://www.toyomasu.com/haiku/
and other sources which currently escape me, all modern haiku MUST have a seasonal theme, i.e. cherry blossoms for spring. So the vast majority of the entries (not to mention the
Name: Roberto Nozaki
Haiku:
Need no C, no VB
'cause my precious PERL
I have with me
Can you not see
without good old c
up shit creek you would be
siggy played guitar
Haiku, I have never been able to see what so special about that.
Perl code - cannot read after writing; Slashdot - cannot write after reading; Haiku - cannot read and write.
Less is more !
I understand why the last two are valid Perl, but can someone explain to me how that first line parses up properly??
Love many, trust a few, do harm to none.
Unreadable code,
Why would anyone use it?
Learn a better way.
http://alternatives.rzero.com/
Over at orkut, in the 'spam' community, there's some nice spam poems.
i c>
Here's one:
</labial></conant>
</gunk></wart></monochromat
</posthumous></snowshoe>
my comment:
it had to be done
my dear. haiku composed
of bogus end-tags
Shouldn't be too hard to smack together some bytes to generate haikus, should it? They're not very logical pieces of text, right? Just a few simple rules.
:-)
I in fact wonder how many did just that
Fight for your digital freedom, join the EFF *now*: http://www.eff.org/support/
array of hashes
of an array of hashes;
makes me so happy!
http://www.haikupostcardfoundation.com
- what is the definition of simultanagnosia?! I've been meaning to look it up!
Is Larry still sick?
Where is the Parrot VM?
Perl 6 is vapor.
not # !
no need to beat and bang.
7 syllables, then 8 syllables, then 6 syllables. This chap surely wins the innumerate idiot of the year award.
Karma: It's all a bunch of tree-huggin' hippy crap!
first attempt at rhyming perl
#!/usr/bin/perl
print "fit for a duke or an earl";
while(10 == 5)
{print"This code is alive!";}
# and if that will not fly,
try {system "ls"} or die;
(OK so I cheated a little, see if you can do better)
Abuzar Chaudhary seems to have written almost all the entries.... hm
A lot of info about haikus anyways, with examples ... for anybody who needs a memory refresher like me, or who is being introduced to them for the first time.
Wow, that's me! Looks like I really did submit the most [15]! My very first haikus :)
People, please give me constructive feedback, I've posted my entries at: http://abuzar.com
Also, I'm looking for geek girls for a Toronto-based women and trans reading/art event. Come read/perform about Perl/Linux/Free Technology at Pussy Pen: http://pussypen.org
I actually tried adding a seasonal reference (to get "bonus style points" in my mind), but I liked the ones without it better better so I didn't post it. If you post too many, you lessen the impact of any one, right? Since you indicate interest, here's what I ended up with when I tried to do that:
In chill dot-com air
Perl brings forth
a great harvest.
--LP
My haikus. Not perl though, sorry.
-Clio
Karma: Bad (mostly from not giving a fuck)
Blog: http://clintjcl.wordpress.com