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Can Star Wars Episode III Be Saved?

mcwop writes "MSNBC is running a commentary asking: 'Can "Star Wars: Episode III" be saved?' It proposes changes such as ripping off Akira Kurosawa, getting the otherwise good actors to emote, and even firing Lucas. It is one year away, but is it too late to save Episode III?"

22 of 905 comments (clear)

  1. no. by mrpuffypants · · Score: 5, Funny

    no.

  2. Yoda by KeyboardMonkey · · Score: 5, Funny

    Save or save not. There is no try!

  3. Killing off Jar-Jar by stephenisu · · Score: 4, Funny

    Killing off Jar-Jar in the supossed lightsaber duel while surfing on lava scene would help.

    Makes sure it's a slow painful death with lots of burning from the lava. Tape his mouth shut too, so I don't need to hear his stupid voice. I say R2D2 should be the one that "accidentily" pushes him in. Cuz R2 is the comic relief pimp.

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    1. Re:Killing off Jar-Jar by Coneasfast · · Score: 5, Funny

      reminds me of an old comment i read:

      Episode III: The Passion of Jar-Jar

      it's just 2 hours of jar-jar being beaten.

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  4. Sure fire save. by Sideshow+Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, call me crazy, but how can surfing on lava not save a movie? Is there a better way short of two car chases in a single movie?

  5. YES by cubicledrone · · Score: 4, Funny

    Make it a musical! Use a lot of trendy pop-culture jokes and cliched music. Obi-Wan and Anakin surfing during the lightsaber battle is brilliant! BRILLIANT!

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  6. Battlestar Wars Galactica by Mad+Man · · Score: 4, Funny

    Like Battlestar Galactica , somebody will eventually re-make Star Wars a few decades from now.

    In the new version, Luke Skywalker will be a woman...

    1. Re:Battlestar Wars Galactica by Digital_Quartz · · Score: 5, Funny

      Was I the only one who instantly thought of the scene where Leia kisses him when they read that?

  7. yeah right by Savatte · · Score: 5, Funny

    Star Wars will be saved much like how Alderaan was spared by Tarkin in Ep 4.

  8. What an odd question... by M.C.+Hampster · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm assuming that no one here as seen the finished movie. So how can one ask the question "Can a movie be saved?" before knowing if it needs to even be saved.

    Of course, based off episode 1 and 2, I'm guessing Jesus couldn't save the thing...

    --
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  9. Re:A bright future by The+Ultimate+Fartkno · · Score: 5, Funny



    > -- "I'm no actor, but I'm crass enough to scam my way into a movie every now and then." - Henry Rollins

    Your sig gives me a great idea! Why not take the article's suggestion of dropping Hayden Christiansen and replacing him... with Henry Rollins! Wouldn't that be awesome?! Lava-surfing saber battles? Hell no! Serious man-on-man pummeling! A pre-armor Vader the size of a Volkswagen stomping around in gym shorts like some heavily-tattooed punk-rock Hulk would absolutely beat the living *crap* out of what we had before! And the first time someone calls him "Annie" he could just head-butt them and start screaming into... erm... some sort of space microphone or something.

    That would rule.

  10. Its too EARLY!! by Robmonster · · Score: 4, Funny

    Its far too early to save it.

    I reckon I'll be 'saving' it to a couple of CD-Roms in about a years time....

    RM

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  11. I've got two words for Lucas by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Talking Pie.

    They'll forget all the mistakes of the past if you add such a character.

  12. Re:A bright future by Kenja · · Score: 5, Funny
    To quote Spaced.

    Jar Jar makes the Ewoks look like fucken Shaft!

    --

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  13. Sure it can by lightspawn · · Score: 4, Funny

    You just right click, then select 'save as'.

  14. Re: a bright future by Chouhada · · Score: 5, Funny

    "It didn't take a Jar Jar character in the US Senate when it voted to give Bush the power to wage war.."

    agreed...it took 77 Jar Jar characters in the Senate and 296 Jar Jar characters in the House. Of course, why the rest of the Jar Jar characters in the Legislature voted otherwise will always be a mystery...

    --
    -- "Do you even know your daughter? There's no way she likes that song. Oop, is she in a coma?"
  15. Re: a bright future by Gzip+Christ · · Score: 5, Funny
    It didn't take a Jar Jar character in the US Senate when it voted to give Bush the power to wage war
    Some would argue that Bush is the Jar Jar character - they certainly have a lot of similarities. Perhaps Ashcroft is Palpatine. He seems a lot more like an evil mastermind.
  16. Re:The sacrifice of saving it isn't worth it. by Hatta · · Score: 4, Funny

    Think of it: one good move after at least 3 crappy sequels. Statistically, if you encourage this jackass to keep on making movies 75% will be shit.

    That's a better average than the rest of hollywood.

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  17. You're both wrong! by trezor · · Score: 4, Funny

    There is no Jar Jar (*cough*) in episodes IV, V and VI.

    That means that JarJar will be killed in episode 3. I'll pay to see that!

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  18. Touchy, touchy by Gzip+Christ · · Score: 5, Funny

    To whomever moderated my original post as flamebait, I think you may have misunderstood my comparison of Bush to Jar Jar binks. I was not insinuating that they are both bumbling idiots, I merely meant that they both have floppy ears and funny accents.

  19. Saving Episode III by awkScooby · · Score: 5, Funny
    Just a couple of suggestions:

    • Put in some real Samuel L. Jackson lines - "use the force, bitch", "can someone hand me my lightsaber -- it's the one that says Bad Ass M***********," "I shall strike down upon thee..." etc
    • Show some skin. Anikan should use force ass-grab, etc. Get creative with it (Darth-diggler anyone?)
    • Have Jar Jar in the back seat of a landspeeder and have Anikan accidentally shoot him in the face. Yeah, it's a blatant rip of but it still would be funny
    • Pamela Anderson - I don't care if she's part of the plot, or just there as scenery
    • Ninjas always make movies better...
    • Work in Tony Danza and an orangutan
  20. Ten ways Jar Jar could die! by Vinnie_333 · · Score: 4, Funny
    Ten ways Jar Jar could die that would leave me satisfied.

    10. Doing the proverbial "stepping on a rake" routine with Anakin's Lightsaber and cutting himself in two - right up the middle.

    9. Getting his tongue caught in an X-Wing during take off and getting his head ripped off.

    8. Being thrown into the vacuum of space and exploding

    7. Two words: Venereal Disease

    6. Squished in the trash compactor from Ep IV

    5. Sarlacc!

    4. Obi Won just getting tired of him and, WHAM, decapitation with the lightsaber

    3. Joe Pesci, for no explained reason, walks in stage and shoots him in the head.

    2. Uma Thruman, for no explained reason, walks in stage and shoots him in the head.

    1. Once again, for no explained reason, Jar Jar catches a foreign born bacteria that causes bleeding from the eyes, vomiting, and nightmarish diarrhea - until death!

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