Slashdot Mirror
Robot Walks on Water
gmletzkojr writes "Yahoo! News has a story about a robot built to walk on water, much like small insects, bugs, and of course, Jesus. The current robot is only a prototype, but more 'useful' robots are already being imagined." This puts into practice what scientists learned just last year.
When it can turn tap water into wine/beer/rum I'll buy one...
I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born - Ronald Reagan
jesus deathmatch?
Run around on lakes catching mosquitoes. The great thing is, it can be powered by digesting the flies, too!
2000 years ago Jesus was a carpenter; now He builds robots. There is hope for geeks yet. :p
Writhe your naked ass to the mindless groove.
This just confirms what I've long suspected. Jesus was a robot.
Groundbreaking new robot crucified by Romans.
Film at Eleven.
You're doing it wrong.
One day Jesus and Moses are out on the heavenly golf course. Moses hits a wicked slice, right into a water hazard. He parts the water, retrieves his ball, and hits a great shot right onto the green. Jesus tees up, and hits into the same water hazard. Jesus confidently walks out onto the water, but sinks like a rock. Moses helps him out of the water, coughing and spluttering. "What happened?" says Moses. Jesus replies, "I didn't have these damn holes in my feet last time."
Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
I for one welcome our new water walking robot overlords.
"Sitti and other researchers imagine that his water-skimming robot could be used on any still water. With a chemical sensor, it could monitor water supplies for contamination or other toxins; with a camera it could be a spy or an explorer; with a net or a boom, it could skim contaminants off the top of water." ... if only someone could invent some kind of, oh, I don't know... radio controlled boat.
Are you saying Jesus was a robot???
No, just his followers.
Pack it with a radar and a mini-gun. Then you can watch it frag those bugs running around on your garden fountain.
Apple built a platform for their ideas, Google built one for everyone's.
If you're ever chased by water-walking killer robots from the future, just throw some soap or detergent in the water to mess up the surface tension. They never plan for that! (This might also work for water-walking religous figures, but I wouldn't recommend it.)
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
just use legs that float?
a beowulf cl.... nah, better not...
Peter, John, and Jesus are sailing on the Galilee. As the trio near the shore, Jesus hops from the boat and calmly walks across the water to dry ground. He turns to his apostles and calls, "Come!"
Without a moment's hesitation John jumps from the boat and strides confidently to the shore and takes up position next to Jesus. They embrace, turn and both implore Peter, "Come!" Peter cautiously steps out of the boat and after not even a step sinks to the bottom.
John asks, "Master, should we have told him where the rocks are?"
Hey it's nothing special. My AIBO did that last winter without any problems.
I've never met a bug that wasn't an insect
You've never used Windows then, have you?
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. -- G.B. Shaw
2000 years ago Jesus was a carpenter
His dad was the carpenter. He was just "On top of the world."
I hadn't the slightest objection to his spending his time planning massacres for the bourgeoisie... (P.G. Wodehouse)
What would evil robot Jesus do?
When they put these robot insects out on a lake to monitor shit, they will not be killed by other insects. You know why? BECAUSE ROBOTS DON'T TASTE VERY GOOD. So robots are superior than biological creatures, and they will take over the earth and suck our brains dry (because humans are still yummy). And if that wasn't bad enough, we will all later wake up in a dystopian future and be forced to hang out with keanu reeves for the rest of our lives. :(
Will code a sig generator for food
I suppose next you will be telling me the water to wine was the result of a zero day root exploit?
Or the feeding the 5000 was a result of a W32.welchia ancestor inside a dodgy scroll?
I can just see it now
Subject: "Are you hungry?"
Bodytext: "Open this attachment now to feed yourself and your family"
liqbase
This will be a bastard to crucify.
It's called a boat.
Mosquito Terminator 1000 (in a tiny ultrasonic voice) "I'll be baaaaack." (Mosquitos spray it with detergent and it sinks.) "No, you won't!"
http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=god-je sus.jpg&category=Toys&date=2002-10-16
I wonder if it can walk on water.
Give a man a hammer, and every problem looks like a nail. Give him a robot, and it's a death match.
"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell
Fry: "So, what's the deal? You guys don't believe in Robot-Jesus?"
Jewish Bot: "We believe he was built and that he was a very well programmed robot, but he wasn't our messiah."
can't sleep slashdot will eat me
> jesus deathmatch?
Wouldn't work. Guy takes 3 days to respawn...
http://www.plif.com/archive/wc103.gif
If noone rtfa, then what's the slashdot effect?
Jesus was having a bad day in Heaven. He was concerned because more and more people of The Earth were using drugs. So he summoned his disciples to an emergency meeting. They talked and thought of ways to solve the drug-problem, but they could not figure out a way. So they decided that in order to solve the problem, they had to understand the problem. So Jesus sent his disciples back to Earth, with a mission top gather drugs from all corners of the world, so they could study them.
Days passed, and Jesus was getting nersous. Then he heard a knock on the door:
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Matthew"
"What did you bring with you?"
"Crack-cocaine from Los Angeles"
"Very good my child, come on in"
Jesus opened the door, and Matthew stepped inside
Then there was another knock on the door:
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Peter"
"What did you bring with you?"
"Ecstacy from Amsterdam"
"Very good my child, come on in"
Jesus opened the door and Peter stepped in.
Then there was another knock on the door:
"Who is it?"
"It's me, John"
"What did you bring with you?"
"Khat from Mogadishu"
"Very good my child, come on in"
Jesus opened the door and John stepped in
Then there was another knock on the door:
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Simon"
"What did you bring with you?"
"Heroin from Moscow"
"Very good my child, come on in"
Jesus opened the door and Simon stepped in.
Then there was anothe knock on the door:
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Judas"
"What did you bring with you?"
"DEA motherfuckers! Hands against the wall!"
Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs - -all next week on Town Talk.
The question is, will jesus be allowed to save?
..haven't you read the bumper stickers?
BENDER: So you guys don't believe in Robot Jesus?
RABBIBOT: We believe that he was built, and that he was a very well-programmed robot, but he was not our Messiah.
It comes from MIT and CMU, so it probably just *thinks* that it can walk on water..
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
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Music is everybody's possession.
It's only publishers who think that people own it.
Fuck Beta
~John Lenno
Now we will also have robots proclaiming to be the second coming of Christ...
I for one welcome our robot King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
Of course, it would be much more useful if it could make the water into wine. Or maybe beer. Yes, beer.
Don't they know that not all of their readers are going to get their obscure American pop culture references? The least they could do is include a link to the guy's website, or something. Besides, I'm sure he could probably use a little publicity outside of the US.
Don't forget, he's got God mode on.
Dieselsweetie guestcomic by Steven Cloud just yesterdays' comic too.