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Craigslist to Beam Ads into Space (for Free)
rdarden writes "According to a press release issues yesterday, Craigslist will be broadcasting 10,000 ads into space later this year. CEO Jim Buckmaster won an eBay auction offered by Deep Space Communications Network, a Cape Canaveral, Florida company. According to an article at Technewsworld.com, they may have already received permission from 10,000 ad submitters."
What's the point ? Isn't this a form of pollution, anyway ? Even if we do not actually know what we pollute if these are radio waves...
If itz's light, no doubt, it is. The Macunmba disco (near Geneva) had to stop lighting the sky at night for ecological reasons.
Trolling using another account since 2005.
Cue thousands of angry alien civilizations rushing in to destroy the earth-spammers.
Earth: "Greetings, friends from space, welcome to Earth!"
Alien spaceship: "All your Burger Kings are belong to us."
Just
Universe's leading source of spam!
Blank until
Alien 1: Sir we're receiving a transmission...
Alien 2: What does it say?
Alien 1: Increase it's size by 3 inches!!!
Alien 2: ?????
That should be enough to get us blacklisted as spammers. There goes any hope of making first contact!
Single White Male in Search of Grey Alien Anal Probe
-*The above statement is printed entirely on recycled electrons*-
1. Create an ad
2. Send it into space
3. ???????
4. Profit
Humanity finally perfects FTL travel, and the first colonists are lost because the communications channel is filled ads for v|@gr4 and old 'Friends' re-runs and Hitler kicking off the '36 Olympics.
Fan-frickin'-tastic.
The only surefire protection against Microsoft infections is abstinence. - The Onion
Polyamorous alien within 1003.2 light years (same galactic arm only please) with prime number of piercing into tentacle sex and black hole bondage wanted by endoskeletal ape descendant (some hair) with XY sex chromosomes and external genitalia (tentacle-like but not prehensile). Please be between 3'2" and 10'7" along your longest dimension, weigh no more than 500 pounds (no prejudice against big boned aliens, but there are physical limitations), have skin pigmentation that absorbs IR and fluoresces under near UV light. I still live with my evolutionary relatives, so you must have your own spacecraft.
October 13, 2005: Craigslist beams 10,000 ads into space
October 14, 2005: Earth obliterated by the Intergalactic Anti-Spam Defense Force
October 15, 2005: [Nothing]
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
The last thing humans will ever see will be an intergalactic missile streaking towards earth, inscribed with the alien word for "Unsubscribe".
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed are not necessarily my own, as I've not yet had my medication today.
It's not like the response rate for my personals ads will get any lower by beaming them into space, I figured they were doing this already.
FOR SALE: **DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH**. Third planet from Sun. Surface mainly dihydrogen monoxide with some silicates. Good starter planet for young, carbon-based species. Still has much of original fossil fuel deposits. Excellent views of Venus, Mars. Small hole in ozone layer. Aboriginal biped humanoid species infestation can easily be removed with genetically engineered plague, or runaway nanotech "accident".
PRICE: 1.2 Million Quatloos. **CALL NOW** will not be listed for long at this price!
Soylent Green is peoplicious!
we won't have to ask why...
--
My esteemed colleague,
Let me introduce myself. I am James Obayyama Coquhamm'uoy of Nigeria, on the African continent, on a small blue-green planet circling a star known as 'sol'
Recently, my government was overthrown by dissidents and my father, General Christian Obayyama Coquhamm'uoy was killed.
Upon his death, it was discovered that he had accumulated a large fortune which we need to get off this planet as soon as possible.
My dear friend. I am a God-fearing man. I am putting my trust in you, another God fearing man of stable character and distinct reputation, to take a share in transporting 6,200,000 (SIX MILLION TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND) bars of GOLD-PRESSED LATINUM to your bank account at Alpha Centuri.
blah...blah...blah...
1,225.00 USD http://offer.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewBids&it em=5559909107
"My God, it's full of Spam!"
--
BMO
All that an intelligent species will care about is the non-natural arrangement of information - then we have first contact.
If it's paid for by idiots for the expected publicity, then all the better - less budget for them to spend on spamming me!
Justin.
You're only jealous cos the little penguins are talking to me.
I don't really want to see a "goatse" constellation up in space.....
Monstar L
Great. Now instead of first contact being with the Vulcans, it will be with the Ferengi.
Loose lips lose spit.
Into *SPACE*, you moron! RTFA! It's like "overseas" is to Americans, it's all the same out there!
FROM:
,A FOREIGN OIL CONSULTANT/CONTRACTOR WITH THE EARTH INSTITUTE OF MINING AND METALLURGY, MR. MICHAEL FOSTER MADE A NUMBERED TIME(FIXED) DEPOSIT FOR TWELVE EARTH MONTHS, VALUED AT 26,500,000.00,(TWENTY-SIX MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITS GALACTIC CURRENCY) IN MY BRANCH.
MR.SOLOMON ALEMAYEHU
WORLD BANK OF EARTH
STREET P.O.BOX 5550
ADDIS ABABA,ETHIOPIA, EARTH, THE MILKYWAY.
DEAR SIR/MADAM/THING,
I AM MR.SOLOMON ALEMAYEHU, BANK MANAGER OF WORLD BANK OF EARTH.
THIS IS AN URGENT AND VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSITION.
ON 1123.423123 METRIC DATE
UPON MATURITY,I SENT A ROUTINE NOTIFICATION TO HIS FORWARDING ADDRESS BUT GOT NO REPLY. AFTER A MONTH,WE SENT A REMINDER AND FINALLY WE DISCOVERED FROM HIS CONTRACT EMPLOYERS, THE MARTIAN PETROLEUM CORPORATION THAT MR. MICHAEL FOSTER DIED FROM AN AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT.
ON FURTHER INVESTIGATION,I FOUND OUT THAT HE DIED WITHOUT MAKING A WILL,AND ALL ATTEMPTS TO TRACE HIS NEXT OF KIN WAS FRUITLESS.
I THEREFORE MADE FURTHER INVESTIGATION AND DISCOVERED THAT MR. MICHAEL FOSTER DID NOT DECLARE ANY KIN OR RELATIONS IN ALL HIS OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS,INCLUDING HIS BANK DEPOSIT PAPER WORK IN MY BANK HERE ON EARTH.THIS SUM OF 26,500,000.00 HAS CAREFULLY BEEN FIXED IN MY BANK FOR SAFEKEEPING.
NO ONE WILL EVER COME FORWARD TO CLAIM IT.ACCORDING TO EARTH LAW, AT THE EXPIRATION OF 5 (FIVE) STANDARD EARTH YEARS, THE MONEY WILL REVERT TO THE OWNERSHIP OF THE GOVERNMENT IF NOBODY APPLIES TO CLAIM THE FUND.CONSEQUENTLY, MY PROPOSAL IS THAT I WILL LIKE YOU AS A ALIEN TO STAND IN AS THE OWNER OF THE MONEY WHICH WAS FIXED DEPOSITED IN MY BANK.I AM WRITING YOU BECAUSE I AS A PUBLIC SERVANT,I CANNOT OPERATE A NON-SOLAR-SYSTEM ACCOUNT.
I WANT TO PRESENT YOU AS THE OWNER OF THE FUNDS SO YOU CAN BE ABLE TO CLAIM THEM WITH THE HELP OF MY ATTORNEY. THIS IS SIMPLE.I WILL LIKE YOU TO PROVIDE IMMEDIATELY YOUR FULL NAMES AND ADDRESS SO THAT THE ATTORNEY WILL PREPARE THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS WHICH WILL PUT YOU IN PLACE AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUNDS.
THE MONEY WILL BE MOVED OUT FOR US TO SHARE IN THE RATIO OF 80% FOR ME AND 20% FOR YOU. THE PAPERWORK FOR THIS TRANSACTION WILL BE DONE BY THE ATTORNEY.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, PLEASE REPLY IMMEDIATELY VIA THE SAME METHOD THIS REACHES YOU AND UPON YOUR RESPONSE, I SHALL THEN PROVIDE YOU WITH MORE DETAILS AND RELEVANT DOCUMENTS THAT WILL HELP YOU UNDERSTAND THE TRANSACTION.
PLEASE OBSERVE UTMOST CONFIDENTIALITY, AND BE REST ASSURED THAT THIS TRANSACTION WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE FOR BOTH OF US BECAUSE I SHALL REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE TO INVEST MY SHARE IN REAL ESTATE WITHIN YOUR PLANET.
AWAITING YOUR URGENT REPLY.
THANKS AND MY REGARDS.
SOLOMON ALEMAYEHU.
WORLD BANK OF EARTH
StrayByte.Net
have resorted to nowadays? I'm sure you had stories MUCH more worthy of acceptance, instead you choose to publish rubbish like this.
Don't mean to sound like a troll, but are you sure you don't choose stories based on random numbers and a team of trained hansters?
Find a job you like and you will never work a day in your life.
Did anyone else notice the glaring spelling and grammatical errors on the company's website?
* New South Whales (should be Wales - as in the country)
* Incorrect use of capitalisation - earth (should be capitalised), Movie (should not be)
* The place in NSW where the radio telescope is is called Parkes (not Parks) and the movie it appears in is called "The Dish" (not "Dish").
Do we really want these people communicating on our behalf?
Somebody set up us the ad!
When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
"Realtime black hole list" is a cool-sounding phrase when it just refers to a blacklist of names. But when real black holes get involved, watch out!
True of course, however it seems to me that intentionally transmitting advertisments outside our planet would get us a lot more bad interstellar PR than unintentional broadcast "leakage".
How did you get *that* past the lameness filter?
:).
Good work, though
Great. Now they're spamming the galaxy.
I hope this attracts a Vorlon planet killer in response.
Sky subscribers are morons. They pay to be advertised at !
what do you think really causes novas?
every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
Remember the days of venture capitalists throwing money into high "burn rate" companies, and then the general public throwing money into high "burn rate public traded" companies? This is kind of like throwing your money away, again, but instead of having nothing to show for it here on Earth, you'll have nothing to show for it up in space... very profound.
And I think that if you're going to send out images into space, you best send out a copy of Irfanview, or a JPEG viewer (read their FAQ), because those damn intelligent life forms just may not understand the JPEG file format. (I hear they're into PNG)
I think the only thing that would actually effective would be to send huge banners or posters into space. I'm detaching my Heather Locklear and Motley Crue posters right now. ALl of these signal transmissions will just sound like space noise, but an old picture of Leather Locklear in a cheesy white bathing suit would be a far better way to communicate.
radio waves are pollution? give me a break. black holes generate radio waves. lets pass a law against black holes.
You know, I can't blame the Vogons for bulldozing the planet if they are trying to stop SPAM. I mean, they're just these guys, you know?
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
They should be more excited about the message I sent: "I claim your planet in the name of Earth. Surrender or die."
Assuming that intelligent life follows the same evolutionary spurts that the human race has followed in the past few thousand years, we can conclude that evolution of intelligent life is on a scale God knows how many magnitudes faster than the pace of construction/destruction of stars/planets etc.
Thus, although by numbers, there may be a massive number of potential sites for life out there, the transitions from dumb to super-intelligent life will be like almost instantaneous sparks that happen relatively rarely (say, every few hours or so?) in the universe.
What is the chances of two (random) sparks occuring at *exactly* the same time, to within a few milliseconds?
If one race's evolutionary spurt happens even just a "few seconds" before ours, in real-life, that's still hundreds of thousands, if not millions of years ahead of us. If they survive, they'll be so much more intelligent that us that they won't have to take our threat seriously.
If, OTOH, they're behind us, they'll still be at such a dumb stage that they won't be picking up signals from space.
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