Man Sells Baby to Pay for Gadgets

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Man Sells Baby to Pay for Gadgets

Posted by CmdrTaco on Friday April 1, 2005 @12:05AM from the dead-batteries-instead-of-dirty-diapers dept.

nzgeek writes "This guy seems to have a serious gadget addiction: 'we're selling our son for $30k. There's nothing sinister about this, he's not going into child slavery or anything, Randy and Linda just really liked his demeanor, and they're keen on a Kiwi kid because they're usually so healthy. I hear $30 grand is really good value these days. So help me out: what would be a good swag of gadgets to get hold of for US$30,000?' " This one definitely raises a lot of important questions. $30k is a lot of gadgets, so you must choose wisely!

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Let me be the first to say by FidelCatsro · 2005-04-01 00:06 · Score: 5, Insightful

If this is not an april fools joke i shall eat my mac

--
The only things certain in war are Propaganda and Death. You can never be sure which is which though
1. Re:Let me be the first to say by BohKnower · 2005-04-01 00:08 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  And I shall eat my BigMac!!!
2. Re:Let me be the first to say by LiquidCoooled · 2005-04-01 00:09 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Mac mini is quite digestable now. Though I hear that eating Tiger fuzz gives you furrballs.
  
  --
  liqbase :: faster than paper
3. Re:Let me be the first to say by bob670 · 2005-04-01 00:13 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Hold on there pal, I'm from Apple's credit department, you still owe us the following...
  1. One arm, left or right, your choice
  2. One leg, again, your choice
  3. 1/5th of your immortal soul
  
  and you have not finished your KoolAid. When those task are complete you may commence eating your Mac. And good news, if you need to replace it, we know accept.....
  wait for it...
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  that's right, babies!!!!
4. Re:Let me be the first to say by tangledweb · 2005-04-01 00:20 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  So the only believable part of the story is that the original article is slashdotted.
  
  Oh, no, that would mean that slashdotters RTFA - I call April fool.
5. Re:Let me be the first to say by GtKincaid · 2005-04-01 00:26 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  Reminds me of a joke.. What do you call a slashdoter who RTFA ... A karma whore
6. Re:Let me be the first to say by amberp · 2005-04-01 00:31 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Don't eat your mac. Eat my PC instead and give me your mac.
7. Re:Let me be the first to say by Anonymous Coward · 2005-04-01 00:36 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Sure I'll give you my MAC , 07-FF-E2-F4-00-AF
  boom tish
8. Re:Let me be the first to say by Anonymous Coward · 2005-04-01 00:41 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  ... wow that was such a poor troll i think you gave me cancer
9. Re:Let me be the first to say by Seumas · 2005-04-01 00:46 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  No kidding. April Fools is the worst day of the year on Slashdot. Slashdot treats April Fools day like that stupid gross uncle you always have around who thinks it's still funny to do the "hey, pull my finger!" gag.
  
  It's just stupid, juvinile, uninteresting and retarded.
  
  I like humor as much as the next guy, but there's never any humor in Slashdot April Fool's stories.
10. Re:Let me be the first to say by Wordsmith · 2005-04-01 00:56 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Just don't eat your iPod Shuffle.
11. Re:Let me be the first to say by tomhudson · 2005-04-01 00:58 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  What do you call a slashdoter who RTFA ... A karma whore
  Nah, that's the cut-n-paste dude's domain. Like this:
  This guy seems to have a serious gadget addiction: 'we're selling our son for $30k. Or my penis, whichever gets the most. There's nothing sinister about this, he's not going into child slavery or anything, and my dick still works, sort of; Randy and Linda just really liked his demeanor, and they're keen on a Kiwi kid or a kiwi penis because they're both usually so healthy. I hear $30 grand is really good value these days. So help me out: what would be a good swag of gadgets to get hold of for US$30,000?' " This one definitely raises a lot of important questions. $30k is a lot of gadgets, so you must choose wisely!
12. Re:Let me be the first to say by MysteriousPreacher · 2005-04-01 01:06 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Go for a Quadra if you can. That was a wonderful vintage.
  
  --
  -- Using the preview button since 2005
13. Re:Let me be the first to say by FidelCatsro · 2005-04-01 01:07 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Well if i have to eat the hardrive , my projects may end up getting ""Forked""
  
  --
  The only things certain in war are Propaganda and Death. You can never be sure which is which though
14. Re:Let me be the first to say by xlcus · 2005-04-01 01:19 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  And drink your Google Gulp!
15. Re:Let me be the first to say by GreyPoopon · 2005-04-01 01:26 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  If this is not an april fools joke i shall eat my mac
  You know, I spent a good three minutes just staring at my screen with my mouth open before I remembered that it was April 1. I was caught between the audacity of such a stunt, the possibility that maybe it wasn't a real child, and the indifference of the Slashdot editor. What a ride! Thanks for the joke.
  
  --
  GreyPoopon
  --
  Why is it I can write insightful comments but can't come up with a clever signature?
16. Re:Let me be the first to say by binarybum · 2005-04-01 01:32 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  hey Seumas.....
  
  pull my finger.
  
  --
  ôó
17. Re:Let me be the first to say by TFGeditor · 2005-04-01 01:47 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  I have never understood why anybody would post an article on /. then act all aghast over the /. effect. Do they really not know? Are they "testing" the effect? Are they CowboyNeal groupies?
  
  I don't get it.
  
  --
  Ignorance is curable, stupid is forever.
Complete text of article in case of slashdotting.. by nmg196 · 2005-04-01 00:06 · Score: 3, Informative
Decisions

A couple of months ago, my wife and I were approached with an interesting offer by an affluent couple from California. After thinking carefully, we've decided to take them up on their offer. My fetish for gadgets is well puplicised through this blog, and I think this offer will help me finally get those gadgets I've been coveting for so long.

That's right, we're selling our son for $30k. There's nothing sinister about this, he's not going into child slavery or anything, Randy and Linda just really liked his demeanor, and they're keen on a Kiwi kid because they're usually so healthy. I hear $30 grand is a really good number these days.

So help me out: what would be a good swag of gadgets to get hold of for US$30,000? Here's my initial wish-list:
- A nice G4 Powerbook. I've always been a Windows guy, but only due to cost. I'm super-keen to try out a nice fast Mac.
- A Mac mini for home. Our house is pretty small, and a mini would make an ideal home media server thing.
- An Alienware PC gaming rig, or maybe a hand-built gaming machine.
- A PSP and/or Nintendo DS.
- One of those portable media players like the Mrobe or something.
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April Fools by mirko · 2005-04-01 00:06 · Score: 2, Interesting

the problem with these jokes is that unless these are totally stupid, theyll all eventually come to reality.
That's why I enjoyed the GMAil story that much : Nobody believed it :-D

--
Trolling using another account since 2005.
Rumor has it... by gowen · 2005-04-01 00:07 · Score: 5, Funny

... that slashdot once ran an April Fools piece that was both funny and plausible. It was 1997, if I remember correctly.

Of course, it's entirely possible that this recollection is a hoax, too.

--
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
1. Re:Rumor has it... by baryon351 · 2005-04-01 00:09 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  didn't you post that here last year?
  
  If you did, then this recollection is a dupe.
2. Re:Rumor has it... by Seumas · 2005-04-01 00:50 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  Slashdot should do one really amusing and clever April Fool joke each year. Much better than posting two dozen really pathetic ones. Or just have a special section each year where people can submit their April Fools spottings.
3. Re:Rumor has it... by Captain+Nitpick · 2005-04-01 01:23 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  ... that slashdot once ran an April Fools piece that was both funny and plausible. It was 1997, if I remember correctly.
  
  The sad thing is, the reason that this story isn't funny is that it's plausible.
  
  --
  But then again, I could be wrong.
SCO will dispute this. by LiquidCoooled · 2005-04-01 00:07 · Score: 5, Funny

The kids mother is wanting to fight the case, but SCO are sure they are the father.

--
liqbase :: faster than paper
1. Re:SCO will dispute this. by carlmenezes · 2005-04-01 00:49 · Score: 2
  
  SCO doesn't have the balls :)
  
  --
  Find a job you like and you will never work a day in your life.
Legality and April Fool by fembots · 2005-04-01 00:07 · Score: 2, Insightful

First of all, the article is completely off-topic, it should be "AskSlashdot" not "Technology"!

I don't know many countries that it is legal to sell your offsprings. So this raises an important question - if someone went to the airport today and announced that he was going to set off a bomb, can he use "Hey it's April Fool" as an excuse to get away?

--
Rock that crushes, Paper & Scissors that don't matter.
1. Re:Legality and April Fool by mpe · 2005-04-01 00:31 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I don't know many countries that it is legal to sell your offsprings.
  
  Wonder if there's anywhere it is legal to sell your politicans. Not that most of them would raise much money.
2. Re:Legality and April Fool by Capt+James+McCarthy · 2005-04-01 00:34 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  "So this raises an important question - if someone went to the airport today and announced that he was going to set off a bomb, can he use "Hey it's April Fool" as an excuse to get away?" Asking for personal reasons? However, it will be followed by the April Fools joke your cell mate, Buba plays on you by stating "I'm not gonna touch you. You are the man."
  
  --
  There are no loopholes. It's either legal or it's not.
How abt this? by sachins · 2005-04-01 00:08 · Score: 3, Funny

How about some Robotic artificial baby to compensate for the loss of your son? :) Something like an Aibo perhaps..
about 15 seconds by ack154 · 2005-04-01 00:08 · Score: 4, Funny

To realize what day it was.

The rest of that 15 seconds was spend thinking "WTF?"
1. Re:about 15 seconds by Gleng · 2005-04-01 01:31 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  It took me about 2 or 3 minutes. But then I haven't had any coffee yet today. :(
  
  Damnit. I told my wife and my Dad about it, and everything. Now I look like a complete chump.
  
  Fucking April the 1st. It gets me every damn year.
  
  --
  "Proudly Posting Without Reading The Article"
A Calendar by Pond823 · 2005-04-01 00:08 · Score: 5, Funny

with, like, special days marked on it.
Why not get $50K? by tquinlan · 2005-04-01 00:10 · Score: 4, Informative

Frankly, if one is going to sell such "merchandise" to pay for gadgets, I would go out of my way to find another buyer (check the black market), and start a bidding war! You could likely get up to $50K that way - and then imagine how much you could get in gadgetry!

Or, better yet, auctions on eBay, with some well placed shill bidding could get you $100K! Then you could double your fun/d! ;)

--
DBA? Software Engineer? My company is hiring! Click
Sad by tetrahedrassface · 2005-04-01 00:11 · Score: 4, Funny

So this guys wants to sell his child for 30,000 dollars, while I have a friend that sold a kidney and now is in jail. Isn't that funny? I have in idea for him though. Step up and be a parent, and love his child. The gadgets will come. Maybe he could get a job. There is no job like a being a real parent.
Novel idea that. I love my children, and shudder at the greed involved here.
I am thinking though... A new mac could be nice..........
/Me looks plaintively over at his son eating breakfast....
1. Re:Sad by tetrahedrassface · 2005-04-01 01:19 · Score: 3
  
  Actually I was trying to imply that I though the story was true, and then end it by saying that I would sell my son, for a new g5.
  Yes I knew it was a joke, but I guess my sarcasto-meter was running low. If I have to expain the post, then It probably means I failed at it, BUt it was supposed to be funny. Like "Im looking at my son to see how much he is worth".
  Anyway, coffee will get my synapses greased up, and by 10:00 I might be able to conjure up something worthwhile. Peace, D
Re:Complete text of article in case of slashdottin by imperialstormtrooper · 2005-04-01 00:12 · Score: 5, Funny

Why should he rule out slavery? The market value might be higher and you would deprive the child of some valuable life experiences and lessons....
sheesh by Bazman · 2005-04-01 00:13 · Score: 2, Insightful

Better to not have the kid in the first place! Then you'll have loads of money to spend on gadgets and you wont have to put an april fools joke on slashdot.
Re:it's a joke..right? by FidelCatsro · 2005-04-01 00:13 · Score: 5, Funny

I hope its a joke since i just made a very public statment saying if it wasn't I would eat my mac , I know its small and everything but silicon is really hard to digest

--
The only things certain in war are Propaganda and Death. You can never be sure which is which though
The real article? by NightWulf · 2005-04-01 00:18 · Score: 5, Funny

A couple of months ago, I was approached with an interesting offer by an affluent company from California. After thinking carefully, we've decided to take them up on their offer. My fetish for gadgets is well puplicised through this blog, and I think this offer will help me finally get those gadgets I've been coveting for so long.

That's right, i'm selling my popular newsite Slashdot for $30k. There's nothing sinister about this. The company really liked the website, and they said there wouldn't be as many repeats, dupes and Roland Piquepaille articles . I hear $30 grand is a really good number these days for this quality.

So help me out: what would be a good swag of gadgets to get hold of for US$30,000? Here's my initial wish-list:

* A dictionary to learn how to properly spell.

* Some kind of anti-bias machine. Maybe Microsoft makes one.

* An anti-duping machine.

* A vaccine for my Apple Fever. And not the one that attacked my lower intestine that summer of 76.

* Maybe a realdoll.
Re:Complete text of article in case of slashdottin by antic · 2005-04-01 00:18 · Score: 3, Funny

I traded my mum for a Slashdot subscription, so I guess anything's possible.

--
'Thats they exact same thing a banana wrench monkey.'
Boom. by nzgeek · 2005-04-01 00:19 · Score: 5, Interesting
Wow. Nice April fools joke on my hosting provider - the site lasted all of about 60 seconds after the article went public. I never expected this pretty lame joke to actually get posted.

Here's a nicely formatted version of the article text (compared to that pretty poor effort above... thanks for the effort, but if you're going to repost the article text, perhaps at least remove the piles of whitespace mmkay?)
A couple of months ago, my wife and I were approached with an interesting offer by an affluent couple from California. After thinking carefully, we've decided to take them up on their offer. My fetish for gadgets is well puplicised through this blog, and I think this offer will help me finally get those gadgets I've been coveting for so long.

That's right, we're selling our son for $30k. There's nothing sinister about this, he's not going into child slavery or anything, Randy and Linda just really liked his demeanor, and they're keen on a Kiwi kid because they're usually so healthy. I hear $30 grand is a really good number these days.

So help me out: what would be a good swag of gadgets to get hold of for US$30,000? Here's my initial wish-list:
- A nice G4 Powerbook. I've always been a Windows guy, but only due to cost. I'm super-keen to try out a nice fast Mac.
- A Mac mini for home. Our house is pretty small, and a mini would make an ideal home media server thing.
- An Alienware PC gaming rig, or maybe a hand-built gaming machine.
- A PSP and/or Nintendo DS.
- One of those portable media players like the Mrobe or something.
--
gadgetophile.com
Penguins by PygmyShrew · 2005-04-01 00:26 · Score: 5, Funny

But he who tux into penguin-meat gets tarballs.

--
I've had the theme tune to Quantum Leap going through my head all day... Now you have, too!
Re:Complete text of article in case of slashdottin by SnapShot · 2005-04-01 00:30 · Score: 5, Funny

Electronic Arts wasn't hiring! ;-)

--
Waltz, nymph, for quick jigs vex Bud.
Happy April 1st! by Stalyn · 2005-04-01 00:33 · Score: 4, Interesting

2005 Britannica takeover of Wikimedia.

Gmail rolls out Infinity+1 storage plan.

--
The best education consists in immunizing people against systematic attempts at education. - Paul Feyerabend
Man Sells Baby to Pay for Gadgets by Coppit · 2005-04-01 00:49 · Score: 2, Funny

Who cares? As long as it isn't his baby. ;)
Interesting by TheFlu · 2005-04-01 00:55 · Score: 5, Insightful

Isn't it usually the other way around: Man sells gadgets to pay for baby?

--
--It's Pimptastic!--
I knew it by DJDutcher · 2005-04-01 00:57 · Score: 5, Funny

It had to be a hoax cause if it was real his wife would have spent the money on a new bedroom set.
You can tell it's an April Fool's Joke... by Quarters · 2005-04-01 01:08 · Score: 4, Funny

because it's not a dupe.
Re:expensive by generic-man · 2005-04-01 01:11 · Score: 4, Funny

Yes, in America. If you outsource all the child-rearing to India, you can get a child educated and reared for only $3,000.

--
For more information, click here.
Re:Complete text of article in case of slashdottin by CrackedButter · 2005-04-01 01:14 · Score: 2, Insightful

Don't forget to duck!

--
Jonathanjk.com
Steve Jobs joins IKEA by Mr_Silver · 2005-04-01 01:50 · Score: 2, Insightful

I preferred The Register's April 1st efforts with Steve Jobs joins IKEA.

--
Avantslash - View Slashdot cleanly on your mobile phone.
April Fools Day is Great isn't it? by Urgo · 2005-04-01 01:52 · Score: 2, Informative

For a full list of sites that pulled April Fools Day Pranks this year check out this list here -

Here is a sampling:

dotget.net - Microsoft to put P2P software .GET into next version of Windows
kylewenda.com - the government records your phone calls... scary
rfc-editor.org - RFC for "Requirements for Morality Sections in Routing Area Drafts"
planet.gentoo.org - Various things, CFLAGS, etc
fark.com - Many Jokes (keep reloading): BOOBIES!, Logged in as admin, North-Central Kentucky Bunghole-Discharge, page from 1999, BEER
2600.com - Formal Attire required for 2600 meetings today
forumsector.com - Changed the name to Nascar Sector
wikipedia.org - Britannica taking over Wikimedia
google.com - Google releases Google Gulp
kellyosbourne.org - Sanctuary records group shut us down
nukefreezone.net - Making fun of atrios.blogspot.com
weebl.jolt.co.uk - Replaced with Cats-By-Mail
wingus.ampedhost.com - Site converted into Mingus' Gently-Used Furniture store. Oh dear. Why won't he be kind?
homestarrunner.com - Now a pay service.
whirlpool.net.au - Australia's biggest Luddite to head Australia's largest telco
theregister.co.uk - Bush twins to join Air Force tech unit in Iraq
creativebits.org - Site purchased by Microsoft
ocremix.org - Now partnered with EA (or something like that). Called EA ReMix.
spacedaily.com - Bush Cancels Space Shuttle Program
planet.gnome.org - Switched sites with planet.kde.org
planet.kde.org - Switched sites with planet.gnome.org
ietf.org - RFC: Efficient Transformation Formats of Unicode
beejaysworld.de - Gentoo dropping livecds for x86
nature.com - Apollo bacteria spur lunar erosion
antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov - Water On Mars

--
Belive in Technology and AMAZE yourself. -- RIP ZDTV/TechTV
Re:HEYO!.....SHUT THE FUCK UP! by pluggo · 2005-04-01 05:20 · Score: 2, Informative

Define hipocracy

I think it's "hypocrisy"...

--
Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions. It's the only way to mak