Slashdot Mirror
Astrologer Sues NASA Over Comet Probe
0110011001110101 writes "NASA's mission that sent a space probe smashing into a comet raised more than cosmic dust -- it also brought a lawsuit from a Russian astrologer. 'Bai is seeking damages totaling $300 million -- the approximate equivalent of the mission's cost -- for her "moral sufferings," Izvestia said, citing her lawyer Alexander Molokhov. She earlier told the paper that the experiment would "deform her horoscope." ' "
Obviously at least one Russian citizen has wholeheartedly embraced the US style of democracy.
The NSA: The only part of the US government that actually listens.
Oh, and she didn't see this coming?
It appears the inhabitants of Tempel-1 are lawsuit-happy as well.
>> "What would the robut do? Frame someone!"
I wish NASA would be as cynical as I am in their response. "Are you going to cry about it?" Then proceed to blow chunks out of 10 or 15 more comets, to show them who is boss.
Home of the midwest loser - www.say-10.net
That settles it! I'm going ahead with my lawsuit against slashdot. I've never gotten a first post, and its fucked up my chi.
.
NASA should charge this nut for deftly moving the comet a milimeter from its original course, thus saving his love-life from complete misery.
OTOH, I'm glad to see the Russians finally learning to do things the American Way (i.e., sue the pants off everyone).
--LWM
After all, they did just alter my fate. If a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a hurricane, then who knows what consequences this change of Universal order might have!
Man is a slave because freedom is difficult, whereas slavery is easy.
She needs to be beaten with a clue by four
Creationists are a lot like zombies. Slow, but powerful and numerous. And they all want to eat our brains.
____
~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey
You infidel aggressors are simply not content to bomb afghanistan and iraq!
American aggressors are now bombing innocent comets!
What do you think you will find, WMD or oil in Tempel I? Stupid USA!
NASA should go back to doing what it does best, making fake moon landings!
You may be persecuted by American space agencies today, dear Libra. However, despite your "moral sufferings" you will be able to gain great fortune from friends, family, and coworkers. Embrace your lawyers, Libra, for they will save you from the unnatural entropy of the universe caused by space probe crashes!
Because even when someone does something stupid and wrong in another country, in the end it has to be the fault of the US!
> A few years ago a psychic in florida sued a MRI facility. Her claim was that the MRI had robbed her
> of her psychic abilities.
According to her lawyer, "She had no idea this would happen."
Chris Mattern
If this goes through I will counter sue for one billion dollars. The damage to my karma this will cause will be HUGE. I mean it. I will be so mad at this woman that my aura will never be the same. I could end up coming back as a rat or worse fan of Ayn Rand or some other low form of life.
What amount of money would be enough to make up for this eternal setback? A billion would be a good start.
On a more reasonable note. You can sue anyone for anything. It is nothing but a stunt.
See my blog http://ilovecookes.blogspot.com/ for light hearted technical information.
Right, because "inane, utterly frivolous lawsuits" never EVER happened in the US so far. Ever.
Je n'ai pas d'avenir Je n'ai qu'un destin Celui de n'être qu'un souvenir C'est pour demain
She earlier told the paper that the experiment would "deform her horoscope."
NASA: Okay - how's about this - we spend all the money required to create a new horoscope, which incorporates the changes we made to the "fabric of the universe", and has just as much predictive power as your old horoscope.
Total price: $0.
Studying astronomy instead of astrology: Priceless.
For bullshit predictions based on the position of the planets at the moment of your birth, there's Madame Marina Bai. For everything else there's NASA.
Education is the silver bullet.
Careful, man. The rest of the universe would see that for what it is- the Earthlings firing weapons of mass litigation out into free space.
Such barbaric acts of open hostility would not be tolerated by the Universal Counsel. The Arashongon battle fleet would surely arrive to pulverize the Earth in short order!
A good start.
The best thing about Lwayer jokes? Easily adaptable to any circumstance;-)
If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
Defense Lawyer: Your honour, if you let this case proceed our court systems will be flooded with inane frivolous lawsuits, and the number of lawyers in our country will rise exponentially. As proof I would like to enter into Evident Exhibit A, the United States legal system.
Judge: Case Dismissed!
The REAL reason they popped that comet, was to improve the Feng-shui of the local celestial neighborhood.
This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
The lawsuit you will start this week will be lost. Also you will be the laughing stock of the world.
*sigh* damn space probe......
What a rotten party, have we run out of beer or something?
And I'm going to sue Bill Gates b/c of these. They've been haunting my dreams for a while now!
Ardente veritate incendite tenebras mundi
She should have seen this turn of events coming.
--
make install -not war
Get your ass in gear then, and sic a werewolf or a vampire on this lady! What good is an "irrational belief" if it does you no good!
"Sorry, her irrational belief was torn to shreds by a delusional thought!"
Poetic Justice, I say! Hell, Justice for ALL POETS!
--
My mom is only forgetful sometimes. Does that mean she has Somezheimers?
Generated by SlashdotRndSig via GreaseMonkey
--
Stirring the pot since 19 mumblty mumble...
Generated by SlashdotRndSig via GreaseMonkey
"If god did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him" --Voltaire
When did Slashdot become a tabloid? Oh wait...
It's not just the Christians. Those who believe in the FSM want their theories put into classrooms too.
William of Ockham had no beard. The most likely explanation is that it was chewed off by squirrels every morning.
Look at your trunk lid again. No fish, right? Look closely. See that salamander? Yes, that one, next to the keyhole. The fish was not stolen. It merely evolved.
Where were you when the voynix came?
I should sue my city of origin for light pollution. Just think of the moral suffering resulting from that abomination if your friendly neighborhood astrologist can't get an accurate reading. Oh the humanity! Class action anyone?
In an unprecedented prank, NASA engineers sent capsule with astrologer and her lawyer towards Mercury. Her parents sued over the suffering endured by her daughter while sharing the tiny capsule with a lawyer. "Ok, I must admit that part was not nice", said a nerdy NASA engineer. Oddly enough, this "astral trip" was part of a previous settlement...
Any real astrologer knows that the courts are not the proper channel for such disputes. The correct procedure for redress of these complaints is for the astrologer to put a curse on NASA. And then, when NASA begs forgiveness, she can dictate her terms to them.
Why don't people use the established channels the way they were intended to be used anymore???
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
Surrounded by atheist barbarians who want to force their children into gay marriages, perform mandatory abortions on their pregnant daughters and burn all bibles in the libraries. You can never stop watching for those barbarians, else you will wake up to find 24 hours porn programming on all TV stations. With a bare-breasted Janet Jackson doing the weather.
you would have thought that she saw that coming.
Ah, sort of like slashdotters ;-)
Loose lips lose spit.
So, if I change a star's position or destroy it, this might change my future?
Interesting! I might just decide blow up a planet or two, next time my horoscope tells me about Saturn's bad influence on my health or something like that...
I would say Earth has more of a bad influence on your health than Saturn.
I suggest you blow up Earth and speed up our process to go to Mars.
Live forever, or die trying.
She, for one, should have known centuries in advance about the Deep Impact mission. So she is actually a bad astrologist for not having taken it into account, and also for not knowing about it.
Moving around on the earth's surface will shift its centre of gravity. This in turn will move its gravitational field, which will subtly alter the orbits of everything in the universe. So unless you also want to be sued by this crazy babushka, I suggest that you stay very very still. come to think of it, even breathing would be a bad idea.
Question: If man can screw it up, what kind of god/power/higher knowledge is she serving anyway? Not too powerful, eh?
So, on average each customer burned himself 70 times on the same cup of coffee? Damn...
^]:wq!^M
I'm sorry, but I own the trademark rights to the words "inane" and "lawsuit". Lucky for you I have very generous liscening terms that will keep you out of court.
FTA: "NASA representatives in Russia could not be reached for comment on the case" My guess is they were too busy laughing their asses off at this suit
- My question is: Can Slashdot be Slashdotted? -
IN COMMUNIST RUSSIA, THE COMMET SMASHES-
Dear god, I can't go through with it. The one place where the stupid joke might actually belong, too.
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
*Beats head against desk after reading article*
So who beat NASA to the punch? Aliens? The Russians?
Note to self: Stop putting jokes in my insightful comments so I can get something other than +1 Funny!
In England, there is no direct relationship between the position of the hands of the clock and the departing trains[1] whether caused by a higher intelligence or otherwise.
[1] What departing trains? I don't know.
I don't agree that it was a disgruntled Christian that ripped it off - it was an envious Linus user
So does Torvalds actually come over and help users out? I don't care much about OS's, but I sure do have a bunch of landscaping and home repairs jobs that could use attention...
Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more