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When The Other Woman Is An Xbox
MTV's Game News service has a report on a an anti-gaming college club started by a group of disgruntled gamer SOs. From the article: "Jaci and Jake, who both attend Kansas State University, are a modern couple dealing with a modern issue. One of them is a gamer; the other is not. Theirs is not an unusual plight. For decades gamers and non-gamers in love have struggled to find harmony. At Kansas State the frustration is rampant. Like most college campuses, it is a place where the release of Halo 2 last year was the best of times and the worst of times. And while there is such a thing as couples in which both people are into games -- and while there are sometimes boyfriends who are the non-gamers -- the most frequent complaint involves game-crazy guys leaving their girlfriends out in the Xbox-free cold."
Meeting a gamer wasn't something I was specifically looking for but it's worked out great.
"Armed forces abroad are of little value unless there is prudent counsel at home" - Cicero
If it's not, the non-gaming SOs should just take it as a hint that they need to move on. It's not their responsibility to force their gaming SOs to pay attention to them. The potential problem I see is that it would taint their ability to tolerate a SO that has any hobby they dislike as the result of one person that didn't have self control.
What are these girls? Are they multi-platform yet?
It never ceases to amaze me how many people pick a partner seemingly at random and are then surprised when they're not all that compatible. Or is it just that the only selection criterion is "Must answer 'Yes' to 'Will you go on a date with me?'"?
MTV doing stories about Xbox popularity... Hum... You know I hear that suits are coming back in style.
a modern couple dealing with a modern issue. One of them is a gamer; the other is not.
Well this is one short-sighted article. Throughout time, there has always been a common issue at the heart of MANY failed relationships - the idea that one of them isn't getting enough attention from the other. As time goes by, ex-significant-others keep finding new things to blame the failure of their relationships on. (Because of course it can't be THEIR fault!) Halo 2 is just the latest scapegoat.
But let's be honest here - if she (or he) truly is more interesting than Halo 2, then Halo 2 will lose. Look, if they are more interested in playing games than spending time with you, take the hint and move on! And gamers, if your S.O. is constantly whining about your game time, then perhaps you should just dump 'em and find a partner more appropriate for your game-intensive lifestyle. After all, isn't that what dating is all about?!?
Must... think up... something... clever!
I want the 5 Google stories per day back.
Is there an appropriate term for what's now happening?
This is just an extension of woo-hoo! morons (many of them likely paid rent-a-crowd types) lining up to be seen, well, lining up. But on TV. Maybe. If they woo-hoo! loud enough.
In a couple of weeks there'll probably be stories of single, defenceless women fending off attackers by swinging an XBox 360 and cute babies found in flooded basements clutching an empty XBox container.
It's my sex box...
And her name is Sony
Considering how unsociable we are generally anyway I can't imagine this being too much of a problem. I presume most gamers don't have girlfriends to irritate in the first place. It really solves the whole issue.
On the same vein of thinking, I can't possibly imagine that a gamer, finding themselves in a situation where they actually had a girlfriend, would let anything screw that up, up to and including getting their gaming in. I would think one would be able to balence the two, assuming of course the girlfriend doesn't expect 100% of one's free time.
--The universe will not be altered by forum threads, even those which are very wry. --Tycho Brahe (Penny Arcade)
How can you go out with someone who has interests so different from your own? I'm into geeky things and I'm going to go out with a girl who likes the same sorts of things. I might be willing to have a physical relationship with plenty of girls, but I'm not going to have a serious emotional relationship with someone who wont play games or watch anime and such.
I see too many middle age geeky guys these days who want to do geeky stuff but their wives wont let them. I shit you not, some guy had to watch anime in secret because his wife would have thrown out the DVDs if she saw them.
What kind of relationship is that?
Sure, in some cases guys are just paying way too much attention to other stuff and not the girls. You can't do that, you've gotta give some time. But also remember, girls can't expect to be the only thing that gets attention from the guy. There are other things in his life besides you and there should be other things in your life besides him. Goes both ways.
In short. Everybody get a life and don't be with incompatible people.
The GeekNights podcast is going strong. Listen!
If your girlfriend is not more intresting to you then your game console, then chances are good that she is not "The One" anyway.
The best test of this is to try to interrupt the gamer by offering Sex. In most cases, offering to play with his joystick should get him to put down the other joystick. If they turn you down, then one of two things are happening.
1) Your hideous, deal with it.
2) They are screwed in the head.
Men have ditched or ignored their women for many reasons. I am sure that there are intstances of guys watching the latest hockey / football / basketball game and ignoring their women for the duration. The only difference with gaming is that gaming can be done at any time.
END COMMUNICATION
You do not have to spend every waking moment with the person you are dating. If they like to play Halo and you don't, go do something else.
"...always new atoms but always doing the same dance, remembering what the dance was yesterday." -Richard Feynman
"I truly loved her, but gaming affected that," What the hell kind of excuse is this. True love affects other things not the other way around. Sounds like he truly loves gaming and she was affecting that. Oh and by the way MTV blows.
Never Compromise
Do the (mostly) women in this group not ever exclude their SO from activities when they go off with their buddies? Shopping/spa days/gossip?
"Jaci and Jake, who both attend Kansas State University, are a modern couple dealing with a modern issue. One of them is a gamer; the other is not."
"Jaci" and "Jake," hm? Guess which is the gamer!
"Theirs is not an unusual plight."
Around here it is. Actual dating?
"For decades gamers and non-gamers in love have struggled to find harmony."
Which decades, exactly? I'm pretty sure "gamer" = "single."
"At Kansas State the frustration is rampant."
What, the gamer guys have started to give themselves tennis elbow?
"Like most college campuses, it is a place where the release of Halo 2 last year was the best of times and the worst of times."
"The best of times?" Last I heard, it was a collective "What, that's it?"
"And while there is such a thing as couples in which both people are into games"
Yes, but are they both into video games?
"-- and while there are sometimes boyfriends who are the non-gamers --"
Where, San Francisco?
"the most frequent complaint involves game-crazy guys leaving their girlfriends out in the Xbox-free cold."
This confuses me. In order to leave one's girlfriend out in the cold, one must have a girlfriend to begin with.
a an anti-gaming college club
Ultimately it sounds like these gamers are going to fail to pass along their genes, thus solving the problem.
...but wtf in their right mind chooses Halo 2 over breasts? RE4...maybe. Prince of Persia? Possibly. But Halo 2? Ouch. Ladies, you SHOULD feel snubbed!
Jaci and Jake . . . (aw, how cute.. barf)
If you're in college, why are you involved in a relationship that is so serious that your hobbies and recreational activities play any part in anything? Dude, it's college. You shouldn't even have just *one* "significant other".
What the hell happened to having fun and getting to know yourself in highschool and college and saving settling down and getting serious for around 30+?
Sad. The "XBOX problem" is the least of their worries. The XBOX may be more interesting to the dude than the chick today, but when they get married in two years and he realizes he's never really had any fun and experienced any other relationships before he got so serious and tied down, it's going to be OTHER CHICKS that will be more interesting to him than the chick he has today.
How is this new and different when compared to golf?
And how is this newsworthy; it's the same thing as has always existed except the 'male obsession' in this article is xbox, as opposed to watching sports on tv, or having poker night with the guys.
The only good thing about this is that if they want to start up an anti gaming coalition, at least that way (instead of nagging us) they'll have something to do while we play games.
What kind of shallow nonsense is it to have relationship problems just because your significant other has engrossing hobbies or other things that they are dedicated to? Part of why I want a girl to like me is because I do enjoy spending hours programming, playing musical instruments, reading, and even enjoying video games. It gives me more depth and character (not to mention things to talk about when I am spending time with her), and it speaks poorly of a partner's character if they demand a full monopoly over my interest and time. Forsooth, I myself wouldn't be interested in someone whose only pastime were catering to me.
Also, sometimes we're not in the mood. My ex would get upset at me if I weren't in the mood for sex when she was, and yet there were many more instances where I was in the mood and she wasn't. At those times I would respect how she felt and would be not affected emotionally because I felt sympathy for her. She didn't do the same for me, and selfishness and double standards are part of why I left her.
If my gf ever interupts me during a game, say by phone call for example, it goes like this:
*pick up*
Me: "HELLO?!"
Gf: "Hey what are ya-"
ME: "BUSY! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!"
Gf: "Uhh I dunno I just wa-"
ME: "CANT TALK! BYE!"
*click*
I've never had to deal with her complaining about my game playin. She understands that when I say I'm busy then I'm busy and should not and cannot be bothered. Thats what the rest of these pie-making laundry-cleaning women should realize.
"you sonofabitch i didn't know!"
And to answer the inevitable questions: Yes, uphill both ways, during a snowstorm.
Linux, you magnificent bastard, I read the fucking manual!
Maybe their boyfriend really needs to step back and re-evaluate his situation. He's not going to have a healthy relationship with anyone if he's got an 'addiction' to games.
Relationships are all about compromise, so maybe he should cut down on the games and spend more time with her, and maybe she should take a little time to play games with him and show a genuine interest in his hobby.
Just ditching each other over something like this, instead of working through it, is stupid.
C17H21NO4
"At *Kansas* State the frustration is rampant"
Blame it on intelligent game design.
Welcome to the land of the free...pay toll ahead...no photography...please open your bag...
Once, she got angry. "I went over and stole the game controllers and hid them around the house, and I hid them separately so if they found one they still couldn't play."
:p
women... makes me glad i havent started looking for a gf yet
I'm going to start a club to stand against these things, who's with me?
Quit your bitching
Alcoholics and drug abusers (not users) can be 10x worse than any gamer. Deal with it, it's a non-destructive hobby that while can be taken overboard will not cause harm to either party.
Good thing I know when to pull the plug on such things..
Skimming TFA, it looks like the guy in question is mainly an XBox user, though there was mention of a Gamecube for "makeup frags".
I'd be curious to see a study done comparing the console of choice of a person versus the priority they give the console over their SO. I think a lot of it would have to do with having games that both people can enjoy without having to go too far into the realm of gaming that one person likes but the other doesn't (i.e., she likes the Sims, he likes Halo, they both like Soul Calibur.)
I would bet that users of the Gamecube would have a smaller percentages of those who put games over girls, as the 'Cube has a lot of games that are "female friendly" (if I may use the term,) and so the guy can get a girl to play games, thus not sacrificing time with her.
The PS2 would probably come next, followed by the XBox in dead last (or would that be first?)
Handhelds would be another matter. They don't chain anyone to their living room or bedroom, and now with things like NiFi and the Wireless Adaptor (GBA), it's easier than ever to have couples playing with (or against) each other.
It would've been better if they had talked about holding out sex from their boyfriends. That way we all could've imagined the less than attractive pair in the picture bumping uglies. Hilarity...
To me it seems obvious that the real world you have experienced is not one in which I would like to spend much time. Certainly, many people go into life and marriage with their eyes blinded by idealism, but you seem to have adopted the opposite tactic and shut your eyes entirely. The problem is that the end result is still a lack of vision for the truth.
Yes, some women like attention too much. Some men are too pompous and think they know more than they do. Some young people think they own the world. Some old people think that the world's not worth owning. A lot of people have problems, but there is more to life than the faults of others, and happiness can definitely be had despite the flaws of your loved one.
As for your comment about not having to settle down in the first 22: I don't understand why, if you find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you would ever want to delay. Of course, your overriding ambition should probably not be to get married in college and start making babies, but you don't need to ignore the possibility either.
..I can only say one thing: Sad. I am a gamer, my girlfriend is not. Does that get in the way of our relationship? No! If anythings, the simple problems we have come from a cultural difference. I'm American, she is Japanese(and very traditional at that). If you don't like the fact the your significant other spend hours and hours quote "using a chunk of plastic and some cords to make a little guy on TV fight with other little guys on TV," why are you with him/her? Instead of wasting your time, find someone with the same interests as you!
This is something I know all too well. I married a non-gamer and Halo 2 is the source of 90% of our fights.
I type this message with a dislocated finger (no joke) from punching the wall in frustration after a fight last night.
For some reason, non-gamers just can't seem to grasp the concept that gaming is something we do to RELAX... and it's not relaxing to have someone constantly bothering us about our hobbies.
The year is 2005 and video games are a legitimate pastime, and have been for years =)
As soon as the kid's there, there'll be no gaming time left...
(/me runs after his 9 month old)
By Tripod, an Australian comedy band:
... I just gotta finish this level.
... map-reading skills. Oh, sugar.
... Baby. Have you brushed your teeth yet?
Baby, Gonna make you happy tonight.
Gonna make you happy tonight, Oh, sugar.
Give my love to you, Oh baby.
Gonna make you feel so right.
Gonna make you, make you happy,
Oooh, sugar. Yeah!
Spend some time with you,
Do the things you want me to.
Gonna make some sweet, sweet love, sugar.
So get ready,
Oooh, get ready, get ready.
Get ready for lovin', Tonight.
Before we get down to love,
Before we get down...
You see, I got a high score tonight.
And I just want to save my game.
Well, I'll be with you in a minute,
Sweet darling, baby, honey.
I love how you dance for me.
Oooh, la la la la la la la la...
Could you move a little to the left, baby?
I can't see the TV.
Baby, I can't want 'till we start,
It's just that the save points are quite far apart,
In this game, baby.
Oooh, la la la la la la la...
This bit's got a multi-player section, honey,
Maybe you can operate a turret with me.
Would you like that, baby?
Games give you hand-eye co-ordination,
And spacial intelligence, together with...
Turn the lights down low...
Turn the lights down, just a little bit lower, baby.
Turn the lights down low...
Turn the lights down low...
Turn the lights down low...
It's just that it helps me feel like I'm in a spaceship.
Take your time, no hurry.
It's just that I'm not tired. Are you tired?
I'll see you in the bed, then.
You might want to take a book.
You know I can't stop thinking about you, baby.
And all of the magic coins that I need to collect.
See, I just gotta find one more point of armour class,
And then I can take on the robots of Zirgon B,
And then we can make love...
I think this X-Box, Is the best present I ever bought for you, Baby!
From to the photo I saw, they're both likely virgins.
Because at 22 your pre-frontal cortex isn't developed enough to make long term decisions like getting married. You change a whole lot more than you'd think between 22 and 25 (which is when your cortex should be close to finished developing).
Go here for teh [sic] funny.
That right there is unmistakeable proof that the relationship was doomed to fail.
If they aren't both gamers, they won't stay together. You learn to enjoy what your spouse/partner enjoys, or you can't say you accept them for who they are.
If you can read this, I forgot to post anonymously.
...I'd rather spend far more time with a significant other then a game system.
;-)
Not that I have a significant other right now... or for the past few years... erm nevermind
Men have been ignoring their significant others in favor of spectator sports for decades or longer. The only thing that makes this different is that video games are interactive, where as the most interaction you can get with Monday Night Football is to scream at the ref -- who can't hear you from hundreds of miles away.
...you should consider getting a job as a sitcom writer or possibly working on a Julia Roberts romantic 'comedy.'
[the following is said with no intention to offend the parent poster, but...]
"Also, women are not 'bat-shit insane.' They just see the world completely differently.... They want you to UNDERSTAND what they are talking about. Which of course, you never will."
Is this seriously how people see the world? If anyone is actually reading this Hallmark card, guys-and-girls-are-so-different, Venus/Mars stuff and taking it seriously, please don't. Yes, there are some very general tendencies, mostly socially induced, for men and women to exhibit different behaviours. However, instead of trying to 'understand' that women are 'more emotional' why not try examining yourself and actually understanding and expressing your own emotions.
In any case, plenty of women display an inability to express or understand emotions, particularly their own. Far more imporant differences between people are not gender-based in the slightest, unless you choose to adopt and live up to a tired stereotype. For example: differences in basic intelligence; differences in ability to empathise with others; differences in awareness of human psychology and behavioural patterns; level of socialisation; and so on. Yes, there are certain biologically induced trends apparent across large samples in some of these categories. But as an individual, you have the freedom to behave as you wish, and I urge you to reject the notion that men and women are 'just different' and learn to interact as a human.
Even more fundamentally, please don't take intelligent, empathetic women out of circulation if you see the world as the parent does (boys like gamez, girls like touchy-feely crap). Find a girl with your own lack of emotional depth and complexity and marry her instead - leave the smart, emotionally mature ones for the rest of us. I certainly meet enough shallow, vacuous women to know that there must be someone perfect for you out there.
PS
Yes I play and love games. But I am enough of a balanced human being to know when to put the Nintendo away and get the candles and red wine out, i.e. MOST OF THE TIME.
Read Pynchon.
You know, someone could make a killing off opening a Therapy Shop for Gamers and Non-Gamer SO's......And I think I will!
" i r 1337. j00 a l0z3r "
That talk kinda makes you cry, doesn't it?
That's right..cry those nerdly tears
Gee haven't you guys noticed Anti-gaming = anti-gamers too? It's therefore by logical induction a hate club and ought to be shut down! :D
This is just a bit rediculous. I've got the coolest girlfriend in the world and the only video games she plays are DDR and The Sims, I however have been an avid gamer since the days of The Legend of Zelda for NES. I'm addicted to WoW, play Naruto: Gekitou Ninja Taisen 4 religiously and competitively, have beaten every Final Fantasy to date (besides XI), and yet hanging out with my gf to watch a movie or just go out to eat or hell even do something crazy like bowling is much more appealing to me than leveling my character on WoW or having a good round between friends practicing for that weeks Naruto tournament. Some guys need to get their priorities straight. if you can honestly look at your girlfriend and say you'd rather play Halo 2 on XBox Live or (insert game addiction here), then not only does your relationship have problems, but YOU have some serious issues you need to take care of.
Him on the phone: Blah blah blah
I think it's going well.me: Yeah uh huh *click click click*
him: Are you playing a video game?!
me: Yeah, why?
him: Stop playing so you can pay attention to me.
me: I can play and talk at the same time!
him: Call me back when you're not playing.
*click*