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Bill Gates' Taxes Require Special Computer
NightWulf writes "News AU claims Bill Gates said in an interview, his fortune is so big, that the IRS needs a special computer, because a normal one can't handle the numbers. The IRS must have had to switch from PC's to Macs just for Gates."
Except the special computer that the IRS use for my taxes is an Altair.
If the press could discern an attempt at a joke. Now THAT would be news.
If I was Bill Gates, I'd go home and have a money fight with wads of thousand dollar bills.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Its not that the numbers are too big, its that the EULA he staples to his tax forms require it be processed by 100% MS software.
Some bring out the best in others, some the worst. Some bring out far more.
This has to be BS. There are very lareg corporations with financials much more complex than Gates' taxes.
This sounds ridiculous. Do Warren Buffet's taxes need the special computer also?
And All I Ask is a Tall Ship And a Star to Steer Her By
There is only ONE computer that could possibly handle these calculations.
I have an idea, if your fortune gets to be so large that even the IRS can't figure it all out, you should be required to give some of it away to the poor until they can do the necessary calculations.
That being said, I will accept cash and postal money orders only please.
He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
I'd love to see some more detail on exactly WHY they would need a different computer. It's not exactly like 47 billion is a hard number to handle. If it's even true (questionable) I'd say it's probably because their SOFTWARE has some sort of limitation, using low precision numbers or the like, so they had to set up one machine where the software was modified to have higher precision
Well bad part about it is that the rest of us tax payers pay for it...ha ha ha
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They do mine on a napkin with a red pen.
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
Moe: "Say, Barn. Uh, remember when I said I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab?"
Barney: "Oh ho, oh yeah. We all had a good laugh, Moe."
Moe: "The results came back today."
I'm a big tall mofo.
I haven't RTFA, but when I read the blurb, it made me think of all the old games and software that would let your money/score/whatever roll over to zero if it got too high. Nothing like having one billion, wait, negative 500 million doll.. Ah CRAP!
./ to log me in.. I wonder why they needed a special computer.. if it really was because thier system can't handle numbers that large, of if there's some sort of other reason.. I wonder if Warren Buffet has the same problem/bragging rights as well..
And now that I've RTFA while I waited for
Perhaps this is more of a statement about our tax code than about Gates's fortune.
===== Murphy's Law is recursive. =====
They need a Linux computer
"Oh, please, please, Mr. IRS Man, please give me the latex glove audit."
MS Money.
MS Money Small Business Edition.
MS Money Enterprise.
MS Money Multi-national Edition.
MS Money Dr. Evil Edition.
MS Money Dr. Evil Edition with Laser Beams.
I have an idea, if your fortune gets to be so large that even the IRS can't figure it all out, you should be required to give some of it away to the poor until they can do the necessary calculations.
Part of the problem is likely that Gates gives so much to the poor already. He's the richest man in the world, but name someone that gives more money to the poor than he.
I'm a big tall mofo.
Anyone else consider that Bill was attempting a joke, but the interviewer couldn't tell? I mean only nerds get nerd humor, right?
and never will, unless they can effectively divide by 0.
In other news, Steve Balmer threw a chair at the IRS computer so he could also claim they needed a new "special" one for him too.
Proof by very large bribes. QED.
Ah well this reminds me of the story that claimed that a Cray computer has been used to design the new Apple Mac (I don't remember which one).
When Seymour Cray was told this he supposedly replied with "That's funny, because I'm using an Apple computer to design(the Cray supercomputers)".
...640K was enough for anybody?
#naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
Does this special computer run on Windows?
I need Microsoft Money 64-bit edition to handle my personal finance...
This article is pure BS because I seem to remember something like 15 digits of precition on either side of the decimal point (999999999999999.999999999999999). These machine and their algorithms are PRECISE. There isn't any rounding float error because they don't really round. So its not the software or the hardware.
They do segregate some accounts because of the sheer volume of transactions but the database systems and transaction handling systems are on separate 'farms'
of machines so this article seems to be utter fabrication.
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My guess is that the IRS segregates the really big fish into a separate system for closer scrutiny. If they are off a tiny bit on a "regular" tax return they might end up plus or minus $50. If they make a tiny mistake on Billy-o's taxes it could be millions of dollars. Plus they probably have an actual team of people going over it, so they may need to let more than one person access a record at a given time, which is likely not the case with their standard system.
...when Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Synchronize your calendar and mobile phone via text messaging.
Mr. Simpson, this computer can process NINE tax returns per DAY. Did you really think you could fool it?
You must be raking in the dough.
They send mine to this fellow.
"terrorism" and "pedophilia" are the root passwords to the Constitution
Or iPenis if they did switch to Macs.
Hmmm, can Apple sue over a translucent dildo?
The couple's Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has a $US29 billion ($38.8 billion) endowment making it the world's biggest charity.
So BG is putting more than half of his money into the Foundation (assuming he's the sole contributor). We may all not like him, but at least he's trying to do some good with the money he's fleeced from us. I just wish I still had the money so I could donate it and get the tax writeoff!
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Yah, they hadda build one with dials that go to 11.
There is no God, and Dirac is his prophet.
My finances are not very complex, but apparently enough that I'm relegated to the long-form return. I've got to search various forms for fields labelled with numbers to copy out numbers and add them together, copy those to other numbered fields into another form, add them together, altogether having to read an instruction for each field that often reads: "refer to IRS document X to see if this applies to you", or "complete worksheet X and if you get a number between -100 and 325, ignore this line". PLEASE, GOD, WHY?!?!
In my wife's home country, all taxes are collected at whatever transaction takes place. At the end of the year, you get a receipt to review. If everything seems in order, you are all set.
Personally, I'd like to see the entire body of personal tax law reduced to 2 pages. If you can't fit it in 2 standard-size pages in 10-pt type, you can't tax it. Further, taxes should be collected at transaction time (payment, sell investment), and the rate ought to be flat and without deductions. Do that, and Gates taxes would look like this:
$64.0 billion ought to be enough for anybody.
The IRS has a department for handling corporate taxation, a small sub-department of which is for handling personal taxes for large income/asset citizens. It seems the mix up's occur when the normal tax departments process some of his holdings, and find on their local department network records that no taxes have ever been paid on the holdings, and send out some notices. There's never any names attached to the accounts at processing level, so it probably happens relatively often.
We had to modify our payroll system in 1987 to be able to cut a check with 8 digits to the left of the decimal for one broker.
Don't forget the enormous amount of money he donates to the WHO, not to mention paying for immunizations for hundreds of thousands of American kids. The Gates have become world-class philanthropists, and yet they get almost no credit for it. Humility in charity is an impressive thing.
Just for kicks and grins,... Has anyone noted that those ordinary computers he is talking about run on a common OS?
Because of the fact that some people on this forum moderate anything intelligent as troll, I will leave it to the readers to guess which OS those computers run on. This has to be the funniest thing all day.
Never Politically Correct ~ I prefer the facts If you don't like what I say, get a life, or comment yourself.
Aggrivated by false "failure to comply" notices, Gates confided in one of his best friends, Steve Ballmer, about the issue. Ballmer has since vowed to Fucking Kill(TM) the IRS, stating that he's "Done it before and he'll do it again". He then chucked a copy of Microsoft Money 2006 in the general direction of Washington DC.
...that he's arrived - he has a 64-bit fortune.
They do mine with one liner shell script.
"Don't let fools fool you. They are the clever ones."
"Barney, remember how I said we'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab? Well it came back...."
Love many, trust a few, do harm to none.
It has to be. Even Bill Gates does not get letters of apology from the IRS. No fricking way. Never happened. Chuck Norris on the other hand...
If I had half as much money as Bill, I'd give more than he does.
It's just too bad for the world that you aren't smart and motivated enough to amass any significant amount of money. Because, if you were, look out world! You'd be one hell of a philanthropist. As it stands now, you'll just criticize other people that are smarter and more motivated than you. That's far easier to do.
I'm glad to see Bill give any money to charity, but one has to wonder with so much more money than he can use, why he doesn't give more.
$29 BILLION DOLLARS isn't enough for you? That's the size of the endowment in the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation. It's the world's largest charity. How freakin' dumb are you? Unfortunately though you're probably fairly smart. Smart enough to be jealous of good works that others do but dumb enough to not be able to do anything significant yourself. Except complain. Oh, I bet you're a first-class complainer. You're probably just itching to hit Reply and complain. Or maybe you'll take it out on the next waitress that doesn't bring your fourth free Sprite back to your table fast enough for you.
What a dork you are.
This computer requires a special OS known as "Linux" that able to perform complex mathematical calculations without requiring the standard operating procedure on most computers known as "Blue-Screening". Mr. Gates was quick to point out that for the average taxpayer Windows XP was accurate for calculating federal taxes +/- 100%. He was also quick to point out that Microsoft is not liable for any tax penalties that may be accrued due to tax preparation with MS Windows.
MICROSOFT founder Bill Gates, the world's richest man, said today the pants office in the US has to keep his penis in a special harness because his member is so vast.
"My johnson has to be kept in special trousers because normal garments can't deal with the numbers," he said at a Microsoft conference held in Lisbon.
Thank you, Mr. Gates!
Bill's home mortgage (if it exists) does not exist.
Whoa, man, you're blowing my mind!
"The IRS must have had to switch from PC's to Macs just for Gates" ... because they have trouble with more than one button on their mouse???
Well that would certainly explain the mysterious nonabsoluteness of the relationship between what the Tax Man says I owe, and that which I am prepared to pay!
unsigned int question = 0x2B | ~(0x2B)
General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
Yes, GOTO programming is alive and well in the IRS tax forms.
Except you are the computer and errors in your memory will cause heart pounding letters from the IRS.
Further, taxes should be collected at transaction time (payment, sell investment), and the rate ought to be flat and without deductions.
:)
I used to agree with you, but I've since found the that picture isn't so simple.
Taking taxes at transaction time means pushing a situational-tax only system. In other words, pay tax on a sale of goods or services or the such, which pushes a larger percentage of the tax burden farther down the economic ladder (remember that everyone has to eat and buy things). The richer you are, the lower the percentage of situational tax with respect to your income/net worth. That's not good. Thus, income and estate taxes are pushed as a way to readjust the percentages to make the wealthy pay a larger percentage of their net worth than the poor per annum. Additionally, speaking as someone who was there, taking even 15% of my income when I only make $10k or $20k is pretty onerous, if not simply not possible. But taking even 30% of my income now that I make six figures would pinch, but is far more doable. Speaking as the hypothetical Bill Gates, taking as much as 45% of my $50B, leaves me with enough cash on hand to own a small nation and still manages to do an amazing amount of collective good for the nation.
Also, deductions are an absolutely necessity of the system. Let me explain by example:
If I own a business and that business brings in $100k in gross profit, without deductions, I pay tax on $100k. However, looking at the bigger picture, If my business is anything like the norm, only about 30% of that gross stays in my pocket. That means, I had to pay employees (who are taxed on that pay), advertising (which is taxed on the service provider), and office supplies (which were already taxed at the OfficeMax counter). I have to be able to deduct business expenses otherwise the remainder of the gross that I hold in my hand after business expenses will go, in total, the IRS and I end up having run a business that did $100k in profit and I, as the owner, have exact $0 to show for it (if I don't end up oweing.
Deductions of the other sort exist to encourage charity. There are those who would give to charity out of kindness, but to the same extent? As frequently? What about the rest. We can't forget that charity write-offs really work. Americans give a tremendous amount to charity every year. How much who those charities get if there were zero benefit to the giving? Not nearly as much. Sure, those who give anonymously would still give, but as for the rest, the numbers would drop drastically.
Al Gore---not my favorite guy in the world---had a great idea. Tax breaks for people who make beneficial environmental choices (buy hybrids, use solar, etc...) to encourage people to lessen our dependence on foreign fuels. His ideas never came to full fruition (a real shame, regardless of whether I like him or not), but they would only work if the tax base can claim deductions as incentive.
Brevity is not my strong suit, so sorry for the long ramble, but you get the idea.
-Tom
Because flat taxes with no other means of compensation make the rich richer and the poor poorer, and a strong and well populated middle class is the base for any stable political system.
To do list for Windows
quit beating a dead horse!
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... and let me tell you, they don't have a clue. Did you know that more than half of the 1040's that get electronically filed, get sent to the IRS computers by Z-Modem? I'm serious. Z-modem inside a telnet session pumped through an SSL connection (the system sorta evolved that way from the pre-internet dialup system they used to use.) Now the new thing they are working on, MEF (or Modernized E-File) includes forms 1120 and 1120S which is income taxes for Corporations and S-Corporations. In an 1120 tax return you can actually send scanned PDF files, which I assume some human at the IRS has to then read. What was the point in developing these huge specs for XML based tax returns to allow automatic processing, if you can just send in a bunch of documents that require human intervention? Thats just bad design, but they also have problems with implementation. The acknowlegement files we get for the form 1120 also have broken XML schema locations. (I've been on them for about a week to fix this.) Of course the real interesting bit about MEF is that its basically a glorified file transfer system. They basically designed a whole new file transfer system that runs on SOAP and HTTP. The banks that we deal with in comparison do have a clue. The banks use Secure FTP, Which has worked flawlessly for the last 6 years.
The icing on the cake? The company that has been contracted to build the MEF system? IBM.
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