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Spam King to Sing For Feds?
Vainglorious Coward writes "Infoworld is repeating the rumours that Alan 'spam king' Ralsky has been arrested by the Feds. With the file sealed for 72 hours, the article claims the underworld is abuzz with concern that, faced with enough evidence to put him in jail, Ralsky will squeal on his associates. We should know in the next couple of days whether any of the roaches scurrying for cover are going to get stomped."
In response to Mr. Alan Ralsky's equivocations, I would like to offer the following opposing points. To begin with, the tone of Mr. Ralsky's philippics is eerily reminiscent of that of unrealistic pop psychologists of the late 1940s, in the sense that mercantalism is not merely an attack on our moral fiber. It is also a politically motivated attack on knowledge. We have not only a right but also a responsibility to restore the world back to its original balance. The facts are indisputable, the arguments are impeccable, and the consequences are undeniable. So why does Mr. Ralsky contend that granting him complete control over our lives is as important as breathing air? The answer may surprise you, especially when you consider that he does not tolerate any view that differs from his own. Rather, Mr. Ralsky discredits and discards those people who contradict him along with the ideas that they represent. Imagine people everywhere embracing his claim that children should belong to the state. The idea defies the imagination.
Isn't it odd that the worst classes of nasty, fastidious perjurers there are, whose hate-filled, huffy lifestyle will transform our whole society to suit Mr. Ralsky's own obtrusive, mingy interests eventually, are immune from censure? Why is that? After days of agonized pondering and reflection, I finally came to the conclusion that from secret-handshake societies meeting at "the usual place" to back-door admissions committees, Mr. Ralsky's followers have always found a way to malign and traduce me. Mr. Ralsky does not want to turn our country into a devious cesspool overrun with scum, disease, and crime because he is fatuitous, illiberal, possession-obsessed, and unregenerate (though, granted, Mr. Ralsky is all of the aforementioned), but rather because if I were to compile a list of Mr. Ralsky's forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that Mr. Ralsky's squibs can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that Mr. Ralsky's whinges are as predictable as sunrise. Whenever I free people from the spell of adversarialism that Mr. Ralsky has cast over them, his invariant response is to kill the goose bearing the golden egg. Mr. Ralsky's unimaginative, myopic quips replace our natural soul with an artificial one. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to give you some background information about him. What I take much more seriously than disdainful hackers are mean-spirited peddlers of snake-oil remedies, but what makes matters completely intolerable is knowing that when I say that many obdurate beguilers are taken in by Mr. Ralsky's attestation that university professors must conform their theses and conclusions to his disorganized prejudices if they want to publish papers and advance their careers, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that his mistakes are always someone else's fault. This is a common fallacy held by lazy, garrulous ruffians.
In Mr. Ralsky's histrionics, mandarinism is witting and unremitting, power-drunk and distasteful. He revels in it, rolls in it, and uses it to shift blame from those who benefit from oppression to those who suffer from it. Mr. Ralsky sees no reason why he shouldn't ridicule, parody, censor, and downgrade opposing ideas. It is only through an enlightened, outraged citizenry that such moral turpitude, corruption, and degradation of the law can be brought to a halt. So, let me enlighten and outrage you by stating that I, speaking as someone who is not a snappish, voyeurism-prone publisher of hate literature, cannot too often emphasize the simple fact that it is sad to see Mr. Ralsky render unspeakable and unthinkable whole categories of bel
Finally they stopped chasing petty warez and went after people who actually profit and annoy the hell out of everyone else...
I vote for mob justice. Throw him into a locked room filled with the pissed off masses fed up with too much ludicrous junk mail.
the underworld is abuzz with concern that, faced with enough evidence to put him in jail, Ralsky will squeal on his associates
I'm sure Mr. Ralsky's associates have nothing to fear. An upstanding, honest businessman such as himself would never rat on his friends.
http://cltracker.net -- powerful craigslist multi-city search
Thats singing contralto, right? I mean, we are going to punish that slime in an appropriate manner.
I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
Can we send this guy to Guantanamo? How about Abu Ghraib? How about if we glue a put a yamaka on his head and drop him off in downtown Tehran.
There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
Since google shut them down, the feds want his logs of valid emails and porn site addresses. Just because a person doesn't visit sites doesn't mean they don't see porn. Anything for the kids.
Before a slow and painful execution, he should have his anal sphincter jerked up around his adam's apple, his scrotum tied (in a proper square knot) behind his ears, then beat with a baseball bat until dead. ;)
Down With Slashdot BETA!!! I've been around the corner and seen the oliphant; you can only abuse me from your perspecti
Great news. But, will this stop or even slow down spam? No. Even if they got half the spammers out there it would keep coming. Why? Too much easy money out there for the taking. Even if they got evey one who operates in the US we would still have a problem overseas . . . and I really doubt that any administration - yes even this one - would invade say Nigeria simply to cut down on spam. Anyway, how are we going to stop chineese spammers? Invade China? Ask their govenment to cut out illegal buisness practices? Yeah right. One spam king may fall, but another will rise in his place.
...he should have his anal sphincter jerked up around his adam's apple, his scrotum tied (in a proper square knot) behind his ears...
I think I got some spam for a site like this just a few days ago...
The slow and painful execution might be tough after he's been beaten until dead with a baseball bat. If you can figure out how though, sweet!
If Ralsky deserves only one second of jail for each minute infuriated users have lost deleting his crap, this could ammount to thousands of years of jail.
I'll be generous and I'll accept that his time in jail be divided by ten if he tells the Feds everything he knows !
Cheers !
I have no idea how this statement applies; it just seems appropriate.
Every mans' island needs an ocean; choose your ocean carefully.
Take this whole thing with a grain of salt. There has been no reputable source that has provided this information; it's simply a rumor. Steve Linford has posted on news.admin.net-abuse.email that he knows nothing about Ralsky being taken into custody, and other reliable sources in the antispam forces known to me have no further information to corroborate this story.
Still, it's good news if it turns out to be true. I guess if we don't hear anything by Tuesday or Wednesday, given enough time for the rumored 72 hour seal on Ralsky's indictment to expire, we'll know whether this is bullshit or not.
He won't mind. There is a distinct possibility of failure, but if things go rotten he can always take a few penis pills.
(one wonders... if vitamin pills contain vitamins and garlic pills contain garlic, what might penis pills contain?)
No no--that might be cruel. Give him a form to fill out to opt-out of this punishment. (By form, I mean a giant stack to them. And one pencil.)
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
Hey, a way to help the national debt: ebay his fate. Is this the same person who was given a sentence of "never being allowed to use a computer for 5 years"?
Ginga no Rekshiya Mata Each page.
He'll be squealing for his new associates.
Never shake hands with a man you meet in a fertility clinic.
No. Leave him in jail for a while. Lets send some penis enlargment pills, spemmax, and instant cialis tabs to his cell mate.
See if his cell mate lets him opt-out.
Fight Spammers!
According to the Spam Daily News - (http://www.spamdailynews.com/publish/FBI_raid_shu ts_down_world_most_prolific_spammer.asp)
Of course, this could bode well or ill for prosecutors: Ralsky has been in jail, perhaps for just long enough to be scared of it. The question is: did he get hard enough to stare them down?
My bet is that he'd do the deal: he's a con artist, after all, but he's shared a bunk with real hardened felons, and that's likely to be the kiss-of-death for his co-conspirators when push comes to shove.
Bellhead
I guess there's no need to target the place now.
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
...oh please let this be true. I often thought that kneecapping spammers with a nail spiked baseball bat was too soft a punishment for these guys.
I wonder if the feds will bust him under charges such as attempting to sell drugs to children.
Turn him loose on the streets. Rumor will be abuzz that he cut a deal with the Feds, and someone is bound to put a contract on his head, compelling him to turn state evidence.
ELOI, ELOI, LAMA SABACHTHANI!?
Ask Johnny Friendly.
Who is Alan Ralsky? The Spam King is, was, and forever shall be Sanford Wallace. With the Duke of Crass being Scott Richter and the Earl of Insanity being Roddy ``Time Traveller'' Todino.
Robby Todino, not Roddy. Sorry about that.
Death is, after all, the ultimate annoyance, followed by theft.
G-A-O-L, you stupid Yanks. Gaol.
Yes... I stole this from Bash; sue me.
If (Feds.prosecute() == Spammer)
slashdotCrowd.getsSuperExcited();
else if (Feds.prosecute() == AnybodyElse)
slashdotCrowd.getsSuperMad();
1) Give him only one email address
2) publish that email on slashdot.
Sign him up for kiddie porn, he deserves no less.
Failing to find kiddie porn, send gay porn. His
wife will love it, his kids will be proud.
seriously, I am not affiliated with the GNAA, but, I say duct tape him to a pole (a chair would be too nice) and force him to watch gayniggers from outerspace in new remastered hi-def at least 80,000 times, then expose him to GNAA IRC spam and other things not meant for the human mind.
in the end he'll be a quivering, insane mass of a man.
also, depriving him of food and water at vriable intrevals is bound to have an effect as well.
Seriously people. Bless that Spam King.
/**** **** Awakes
When you have found an inexpensive way to earn(?) money at the careless expense to the frugal nature (commercial fishermen, or a broken system of poorly trusted/crippled-Client peers awaiting for Server mail delivery and transfer) why issue over cruel and unusual punnishment that is disproportionate to the act? Most tools/firearms have a lock, yet on the front of the slave market there is a poorly updated protocol for moving mail mixed to fellowship of letters-patent and then that tresspass of COMMERCIAL SPEACH.
Look at the evidence: the 'Spam King' is equally as captivated and crushed by the same poor economy that his accusers contribute unto. Everyone has a judgment for him, the same meritless warrant derived from the bottomless pit of opinions that self-sacrifice any benefit to the world. People like 'Spam King' exist in no other economical condition but that of our suppressed one. Don't any of you think that if there was a free market, that there wouldn't be a 'Spam King' simply because a superior Mail protocol would have Competed to its proper standing?
Historically, anyone in commerce is an abomination among the people moving Post for fellowship and prior agreement. Somewhere, the Commercial Code has been skewed to ignore a truth that all Commercial Speach (ADVERTISEMENT) is a presentment for Contract or Trust; that Commerce has now been tresspassed into the same affinity among the patroons and patrons at the general post-office.
He's someone else's liar. An idolater doing someone else's will. Think about that, because he's just a scapegoat. If anyone has ever sent hate-mail, then they're no better than that alleged "Spam King." Meanwhile, the truth is moving about to prove that Spam King has created more jobs than Microsoft could create...to block his mail. The job of "Spam King" deserves a Darwin Award for its inevitability, but deserves a Silver Plaque for proving that he is the one that will cause Mail post and delivery to become more secure and efficient.
Somewhere, Benjamin Franklin (postmaster general) rolled a little slower in his grave, but resumed the next second when a WAR-TIME-ONLY jurisdiction (the United States) is trying a Civilian in their limited-time Military Tribunal.
A: Hot dog, how long was I out?
B: Well...you were hit by a Drive-by Disagreement
A: I was just standing there, I felt a bump, and then awoke from a Nightmare where I had to forgive my mortal Enemy!
A: Save your thoughts, and hide the Stuff. Our Warden is conducting searches today and starts on our Block this time. We don't want any disapproval in our attendance record.
put his ballz in a blender. Oh yeah, he'll sing.
This gibberish post has many similarities with the posting style (sic) of NRAdude. Shouldn't her care-worker have her tucked up in bed by this time on a Saturday night?
But actually, it's only "jail" for now - if we're lucky it'll be followed by "prison".
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
...and spammers are rightly famed for their fastidious adherence to truth and honesty :|
"Hangin's too good for 'im. Burnin's too good for 'im. He should be torn into little bisty pieces and buried alive!"
--Hanover Fiste, Heavy Metal
I think that more appropriate.
Funny in a way because IF there would be any logic to the idea that you absorb the essence of what you eat, then all the predators would be prey.
The mighty wolf would be a bit of a deer. The great white a bit of a surfer dude. The anteater a tiny insect.
But I guess when your chinese you are pretty desperate for anything that might give you a bigger penis.
Lucky as a true nerd I am above that. Doesn't much matter for jerking off what size it is ^_^
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
O_O squeel piggy squeel.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
I hope someone takes a 'special interest' in him when he goes to prison.
Petty Warez, you say?
If you think there's no money in bootlegged musics, movies, software (games and business software), then you need to think again. Sure, there may not be much if you're distributing over P2P (some money going to sites hosting trackers for torrents or authors of the P2P software in question instead) - but if you do it through high-rate FTP sites or even further down to actual CD/DVD sales... there is decent money to be made. Depending on the scale and geography of your operation, either a nice sports car, or enough money to not work for a few years.
Now if you meant to say those who are indeed downloading off of P2P networks, or those passing out a CD to their classsmate for free... yeah, agreed, time better spent on the big fishes. That said, both are illegal, so both should be addressed.
( And yes, I know not all downloads are copyright protected, and yes I know that many of those that are, are instead governed by licenses such as the GPL. The context here is audio/video/software that the recipients would not be legally entitled to have. )
If you're reading this Alan, I've got some excellent 'Get Out Of Jail Free' pills you might be interested in...
Just wondering if they still have the death penelty in the states for spam.. parking tickets.. um you know "Terrorism" the self serving psychopaths in the white house think of as anything which is where someone uses their own free will. Although personally setting a nuclear bomb over washington sounds like a pretty damn good idea, good way of having a "garbage collection" ..Anyway enough of my thoughts on politicians and the psychopaths in the whitehouse
I know the perfect punishment.. give him twenty years in a padded cell with a tv that cant be turned off and have the volume at full for twenty four hours a day EVERY day showing nothing except for commercials.
Hey if the guy lasts a month hell be too much of a basket case to recommit, that or he will take himself out.
Just my 2c of taxpayer dollars with
So we've finally reached the point where spammers no longer try to portray themselves as "honest, legitimate" businessmen?
How about the halcyon days of USENET. We had the scumbag disbarred lawyer Cantor and Siegel who first decided to piss in the pool and then wrote a book on "How To Make A Fortune on the Information Superhighway". They disparaged "geeks" and "censorship" trying to make themselves look like real honest business folk.
And then there were the USENET "Freedom Knights," a group of proto-spammers who banded together in protest of the mass SPAM cancels going on. All the usual palaver from these idiots as well...blather about SPAM being fee speech, the free market, etc.
Ah, where are they now? So much for their bullshit about spammers being honest businessmen.
The man deserves a fair trial and the right to defend himself.
And then we throw him in a vulcano to appease our gods.
"Now, you left wing liberals, take a look at yourself, you protest torture of prisoners in Abu Gurab -- these are terrorists who kill Americans -- but you want a real USA businessmen, who started a company and turned a profit -- to be killed and in one Slashdot's reader's words, AK47 gunned down, for a minor book-keeping offense?"
So... you mistook what was obviously a playful fantasy intended simply to express irritation caused by the acts of an individual and spun it into left-wing hypocracy that only works in an unrealistically literal world. Very Limbaughian.
You can blame your Troll Mod and your total lack of credibility squarely on yourself. Bet you're glad you posted anonymously.
I think we should throw him in a room with the mythical person that runs SPEWS and let the best man win.
Make the spammer have one of his own penis enlargements he's always telling us are so great & just as he's nice, red & sore after the operation, start feeding him the viagra he's alway telling us is so great. :-)
Ouch!
Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
He'll probably be a free man within weeks.
Hello my name is Tunde Bamake and I am writting to you to offer an amazing deal.
Recently an associate of mine Alan Rasky was arrested by the FBI on charges of sending spam and unsolicted emails. I assure you my friend that these charges are totally unfounded and he really needs your help.
He has $10,000,000 ten million dollars sitting in a Swiss bank account which he needs to pay for his lawyers. He can not get that money because the FBI will confiscate it if he trys to access it.
My friend, I am asking you as a Christian to help my friend Mr Rasky with little effort from yourself. All you have to do is allow us to transfer the $10,000,000 TEN MILLION DOLLARS through your personal account.
This will be at no risk or effort to yourself. Mr Ramsky understands the effort you will be going through and thus is offering you $250,000 TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS for your help.
Please my friend, I ask you to help Mr Ramsky in his hour of need.
Which of the following wastes more of your time:
Personally, I have a pretty good spam filter so it's #2 by a large margin.
Although it later turned out to be just a simple case of robbery gone bad rather than an irate netizen, Kushnir sure got what was coming!
Oh, no! You have walked into the slavering fangs of a lurking grue!
It's a troll. No doubt someone has simply done a s/[infamous person]/Ralsky on a famous letter or whatnot.
If you don't believe me, just search the text for the zero occurances of "spam" or "email" within.
For bonus points, can you discover the original subject for the piece of text above?
May the Maths Be with you!
Hmmmm... Car accident? Overdose of viagra? Die jumping out the window of a basement apartment?
Dyslexics Untie!
It's been interesting reading over the replies and how quickly mob mentality gets perpetuated. One dude wanted to beat him with a baseball bat until dead. Spam is annoying and intrusive, but what's spooky is how the witch-hunt sets in when so many people feed off each other. Besides, if you think this one bust is going to stop spam and phishing you're sadly mistaken. People need to be educated on email use just like they do for using their computer. The spam/phishing problem is largely an ignorance issue. Maybe Best Buy should start including some web-use educational material in that shrink wrap.
Join the Slashcott! Feb 10 thru Feb 17!
He can always out-out of that prison sentence, right? Just a mail with "remove me"...
Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
Given that few major companies are in as deep with the mob as Sony, perhaps we could shake out some stuff from purportedly legitimate businesses.
I scream. You scream. I assume that means we're both acquainted with the problem. We proceed.
I'm a hacker and I'm not quaking at all. In fact, I might just get up and dance here in a minute. I've actually done work for one of Ralsky's associates (hi spammerslime Josh from Miami, hope you go to jail, too!) but I held my nose the whole time.
Oh, you'll want to know what work, won't you? I was tuning the IP plant for a small hosting company, the owner developed a problem with his nose, and Josh ended up hosting some pornospam stuff at that location. It was icky++ but they paided me well
Hmmm, that wouldn't be any fun unless it would be broadcast live to all nations, done from a proper stage, with people throwing tomatoes at him. I guess a humane sentence would be 1 millisecond of pain for every mail sent by him or his associates, no-one sends mail in bulks of millions, uh, oh wait, never mind.
Let's not forget our lawyer friends in AZ:
Cantor and Siegel:The Green Card Spammers
Been there, seen that, got the T-shirt....
I'm a consultant - I convert gibberish into cash-flow.
When legitimate businesses hire cockroaches to do their "dirty work" of spamming, the roaches aren't worth going after. You can stomp them all day and they just keep coming for the easy money. And they're hard to hit and they know it.
You have to go after the businesses that hire the scum.
I am trying that currently. In September I submitted an email address to Ford's "have a dealer in your area contact you about a Hybrid". I got several responses from dealers. Three weeks ago, that email address (which I made specially for that purpose) started receiving spam, one per day. I sent a nastygram to Ford and the dealers that responded to me asking who it was that sold my email address, in violation of their privacy policy as stated on their web site. One of the dealers replied, but the rest of the dealers AND Ford ignored my emails.
Since then I have tried other emails to two of Ford's complaint addresses. One was ignored, and the other bounced with a "relaying denied" error.
They know they are selling us out, and they really don't care. Businesses don't care about anything that doesn't cost them money, and if it MAKES them money, they care even less. Until it affects their wallet in the form of fines, legislation, and accountability, it won't stop.
In my case it actually looks like the company that Ford pays to run their "have a dealer contact you" page ("morpace.com") is actually the one that is harvesting the email addresses that Ford's customers enter on the web page.. they forward your requet to the dealers per their business arrangement with Ford, AND add your name to their own internal spam mailing list that activates a few months later so you don't suspect their client (Ford) of having sold you out. You'd think that if Ford found out about this they'd be pissed and that would hit someone in the wallet, but so far my complaints have fallen only on deaf ears. I'm going to try calling them on Monday to see if anyone cares, though I'm guessing "no".
It amazes me that Ford would risk pissing off a customer that is looking to buy a $28,000 product from them over maybe a quarter made by selling their email address to spammers.
I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
Why the obsession?
Oh no, you got a few emails that passed through your filter?
Tell him his sentence will be up as soon as he deletes the same number of spam he sent, and tell him (falsely) that the only way to get out sooner is to find a "get out of jail free" e-mail buried within the rest. Then stick him in a cell with a 56K modem and a connection that likes to randomly disconnect.
***bows down in awe**** :)
You are truly evil, evil I say!
Fantastic idea!
Down With Slashdot BETA!!! I've been around the corner and seen the oliphant; you can only abuse me from your perspecti
Spam King going to Sing Sing?
and it was fun
The bigger problem has been and remains so-called legit companies. Why should accessing my mortgage info online _require_ that I get spam that has to again be stopped every couple of years? Same thing with the credit card company. CAN-SPAM makes individual lawsuits harder and the law is flaunted. 10 days is 30 day to 90 days. Mechanism is "log into your account and change your 'preferences'" when this process was a) done before and b) too prone to phishing. No password should ever be required to stop spam. Send a unique token with the email. Also, they often do not answer replies. This is illegal too ("fraudulent" return addresses).
* hadif: Words of the Prophet Mohammed, as opposed to commentary from other people. Its basically the gold standard for canonical sources. But what do I know, I'm just an infidel.
Help poke pirates in the eyepatch, arr.
... and give him slackware + lynx + pine :)
I tried it and all I got was ####
the article claims the underworld is abuzz with concern that, faced with enough evidence to put him in jail, Ralsky will squeal on his associates
There are three errors in that post. One is the 3 which should be 4. Where are the other two?
Even valleywag now seems to concede that this rumour is false. It was fun while it lasted.
My next sig will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush
Where exactly is the shit-key you held down?