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Microsoft Patents Frustration-Detection System
I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "Microsoft has patented a frustration-detection help system that would monitor your computer use and biometrics to figure out when you were frustrated. It could then offer to pair you up with someone else doing exactly the same thing who might be able to help you out. Interestingly, they don't appear to use speech recognition to detect abnormal levels of swear words, but that could be due to their past difficulties with speech recognition. 'Physical responses aren't the only things that could trigger this event--taking an abnormally long time to complete a task would do so also--but the biometric aspect is certainly the most unusual. Is this patent a harbinger of a dystopian future where computer users' biorhythms will be monitored to increase efficiency? Unlikely. The idea, which was birthed at Microsoft Research, is simply a more advanced version of user focus group testing that Microsoft (and most other software companies) have been doing for years now.'"
Makes sense, I mean they are into complimentary products.
Keyboard and Mouse
Xbox and games
Windows and this.
No doubt this would ADD to my frustration, because I'm sure it'd be so badly written that it'd memory leak and cause any other application to halt operation while it works out what it's doing. ARGH!
Wait, that sounds like something else I know...
ilovegeorgebush
Just another way to monitor the masses. Sounds like a Combine tactic. Follow Freeman!!!
I can easily detect my frustration level based on which version of Windows I am using.
Now the paper clip can read your mind!
AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Just put an accelerometer on the user's mouse and monitor. If they slam their mouse down on the table or shake their monitor violently (or throw it out the window), then you know you have one too many "Are you sure you want to turn off the Frustration Detection System" confirmation dialog boxes.
I know I've read about this here at least twice before, going back years...
HAL: It can only be attributable to human error.
Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?
HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
HAL: Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?
They would need to patent this now, wouldn't they?
I can imagine it. You are doing something and a popup screen appears:
"You would like to copy a file. Would you like to continue? Yes/No."
Then another popup appears.
"You appear to be frustrated. Would you like to continue? Yes/No."
Think about it. With Vista, they'd have pretty much cornered the market.
So, Microsoft, by all means, patent away. This is one monopoly I'm happy to leave strictly to you.
XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
if (WindowsUser)
return (true);
Microsoft's Research dept? What's that? Oooh yeeaah...that's right. It's usually called "Mergers and Acquisitions" in most companies.
Shameless plug alert: Game server control panel
I like that notion of putting users who experience the same problem into touch with one another. I can see it now -- an angry mob assembled by the frustration-detection software storms the offices in Redmond.
"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell
Microsoft Bob
Vescere bracis meis.
C'mon, guys, let's just agree to let Microsoft have this one, eh?
Modern copyright is theft of culture from everyone and it retards the progress of the useful arts and sciences.
Apple Stock Ticker Widgets serve as a Lack-of-Frustration Detection System.
Say hello to my little sig.
Microsoft has now patented Vista's User Account Control (UAC) feature as a "frustration causation system." Combined with the frustration detection/matchmaking service, they now have found a way to defer all responsibilities for support for Vista to the community.
User pounds fist on keyboard.
*pop*
Clippy: Hi! Looks like you're pretty pissed off!
User throws computer across the room.
Those who believe the Internet is private,
find their privates are on the Internet.
so the testbed for this tech was what, Vista users?
An accelerometer to detect when you are about to toss the thing out the nearest window (pun intended)
Or a keystroker logger that is programed to respond back to Redmond if it detects you typing
"You #$%&&# fargin' $#@@$$%%, lousy *&^%**(....."
Personally...I would prefer it just be programmed to hand me another beer.
So MS patents an automation of the focus group process that gave us Visual Studio 2005. Good lord, this is welfare for lawyers, for sure.
This is my sig.
detect this......throws chair....
Every Windows version has included this feature. The "Frustration Detected" value is set to "ON" on the installer by default. There's no known way to turn it off, so it's 100% accurate.
--
make install -not war
This is nothing new, it's just the first phase of putting the WSYP Project into actual use.
Queue Ballmer jokes in 3...2...1... GO!
clean up the bugs and mass before introducing a new function?
They seem to keep wanting to add more features, which take more processing power, which require more powerful computers and more memory just to deal with the overhead.
Instead of continually taxing silicon based computer on the desk, can't we leverage the carbon based computer on the other side of the keyboard?. What if, instead, the focus became on designing the operating system to be as un-obtrusive and intuitive as possible? Instead of contiually adding features to constantly second-guess the user, focus on developing well written documentation and training software.
My guess is the following would happen:
Gamers would love such a system because more resources are available for games
Multi-media users would love it for a similar reason
Businesses would love it because it's easily configured to do what they need
Engineers/Scientist would love it for all the reasons mentioned above
Home users would accept it provided the documentation is easy to understand and it supports whatever they need it to support.
I don't know....
A goal is a dream with a deadline
So this is a detection system to find out how frustrated you are with Microsoft patents?
All you need is an embedded computer with an accelerometer and a transmitter on the bottom of the seat. This will make it quite unlikely to break, even if thrown.
Think global, act loco
If someone's using a Microsoft product, they're most likely frustrated.
Doubly so if it's Vista.
Actually, for once, I'd say that's an area in which Microsoft is uniquely qualified. I am certain they know all about user frustration and how to detect it. In fact, I'm sure the very top of the logic chart reads: "Is user attempting to run Microsoft Windows? YES: Highly frustrated. NO: Must be a Linux or Mac user, attempt to convert."
Honestly, this thing feels like it crosses some kind of line. I'll bet that government will be first in line to adopt it (if they aren't already doing it) to "look for terrorists."
But Vista, yeah. I'd ignored it thus far til a girlfriend bought a new laptop over Christmas. Wow. If this is a finished product Microsoft really needs to rethink some things. Even when we manage to fix a problem - and every problem is described over and over in forums, but never seemingly with a reliable fix, just lots of "try this" suggestions - I find that I am never sure what did it, and whether it will stay fixed.
I still haven't figured out where they hid Windows Explorer, and what fool decided that Internet explorer should default to not having a toolbar?
Three Squirrels
*clip appears*
You seem to be frustrated, do you want me to help?
| ...frustration-detection help system... |
Anything else in terms of frustration is irrelative.
It looks like you are reading Slashdot again.
Would you like some help in getting back to work?
Obama likes poor people so much, he wants to make more of them.
Since the advent of Win95, Microsoft has had a free test bed of subjects for this frustration patent!
Following the use of the Rolling Stones' 'Start me Up' for Windows 95, Microsoft launches their new Frustration Detection software to the blare of Alanis Morissette's 'Ironic'.
AT&ROFLMAO
Just give us some torture clippy options...
What's the point of connecting two people who both yelling, "Bluescreen??? I was just about to save my work! Aaaggg!!!"
Here is a test subject for Microsoft to use...
It's really come a long way, I'd even say Dear aunt, let's set so double the killer delete select all.
So now when my computer goes off the deep end with memory leaks and a bogged cpu and I start rampantly septuple-clicking things while frustratingly waiting for them to start......the computer will take it upon itself to load ANOTHER program that is somehow going to make it better?
I read that topic as "Microsoft [invents] Patent Frustration Detection System". I expected to see an article about how Microsoft was backing off patent enforcement based on how frustrated the public appeared to be over what they were doing. A neural net that scanned news articles and tailored the cease and desist letters? Focus groups that give them insight into their public image? Developers? Developers? Intriguing! Then I awoke from the dream.
""Microsoft has patented a frustration-detection help system that would monitor your computer use and biometrics to figure out when you were frustrated."
;)
They patented a utility which detects when Windows is running? I thought they already did this courtesy Activation and Genuine Disadvantage?
The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
if (Windows.version == "Vista" && UAC.enabled) { user.frustrated(); }
else {while user.notFrustrated()) {
MessageBox.Show("Windows has determined you are not frustrated. We apologize for this and wish to return you to the Genuine Windows Experience(TM) you have come to expect.";
user.judgeFrustration();
}
}
Murphey's fighting Occam, and we're in the stands.
What if am playing a FPS and losing. Unless Windows can heal my character, I don't necessarily want message boxes popping up with "helpful" suggestions. What if I am frustrated, but not necessarily with my computer? For example, if I am having issues at work, I don't really want my computer to interfere and possibly aggravate the situation. Assume that I am trying to do a Windows task for the first time. How will Windows really know what I am trying to do?
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
Don't fix anything, just apply bandaids.
People can't figure your OS out because the menu commands keep moving into new menus with each release and the toolbar icons are too small to represent anything? Add context-sensitive help.
The context-sensitive help requires you to work through a clumsy twenty-step process to achieve something? Add "wizards" which force you through the twenty-step process, one slow, painful step at a time. (Converting Xerox Alto's "modeless" paradigm into a good old IBM 704 paradigm...)
People can't figure out how to pop up the "wizards?" Add wizards that pop up by themselves (Clippy).
People get frustrated? Add an automatic frustration detector.
How the heck can you satirize Microsoft when they do such a good job of satirizing themselves?
"How to Do Nothing," kids activities, back in print!
If OSX is frustrating you , then you are thinking to hard. while I used to think linux could be as bad as windows at times, now it's not so bad.
I found that after years of using windows and Linux that with OSX I was Over thinking things. The thing with OS X though is that you can do 90% of the tasks with just a mouse.(and spend $5 more and get a real three button mouse with a scroll wheel, the OS supports it and you can do so much more) Stop and think it out logically. to adjust firewall settings, System preferences:sharing(to share with others): firewall: advanced settings if it isn't in the handy list already. I added bit torrent in two minutes and half of that was looking up the port ranges.
Your done.
i thought once I was found, but it was only a dream.
Er... nevermind.
You stayed up late arguing with your wife, who says you are spending too much time at work. The worst thing is you know she's right: it's not fair for her to put in a full day at work then handle all the work at home because you haven't got home until 9 or 10PM for the last several weeks.
The kids were cranky this morning and wouldn't get dressed for school on time so you had to drive them. This made you late for your emergency 9:00AM meeting, at which your boss publicly dressed you down for not be conscientious enough. Of course he's stressed out (along with everyone else) because three of the five projects your group is late. He gives you the job of figuring out how to maximize the number of milestones we hit this quarter on the late projects.
You sit down at your PC with a cup of coffee, and take a deep breath. "I can only do the best I can with the situation I've been given," you tell yourself. "There is no sense worrying about trying to do the impossible."
So you start to crunch the numbers, and a wave of anger washes over you. Nobody could have made these work; some higher up decided he'd promise things he had no idea whether they could be done. That guy is going to blame your boss, and your boss is going to blame you. You're the one toiling sixty hours a week and neglecting your health and family obligations, and for middling pay because as a "professional" you are expected to work overtime for free. You'd quit except that your daughter has had leukemia (now in remission) and there is no way you could get her covered under new insurance.
"You seem to be having trouble with pivot tables," chimes in Mr. Clippy, "would you like to be put in contact with a user who isn't a useless piece of shit like you? Or shall I bring up the home page of the Jack Kevorkian Institute, which three out of five users in your situation find helpful?"
Therein lies the problem. You can't interpret biological stress markers without knowing the situation the person is experiencing. The answer to the problem of software that users can't use is to detect this in usability tests before you release it, not to make ill advised attempts to magically fix the problem. And note the implicit definition of the problem: the users don't know how to operate the software. This certainly is one way to define the problem, but another would be the software isn't easy enough for users to learn and/or use.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
Wouldn't it be better with a frustration-elimination-system?
The paper clip will now be your own psychologist.
OS X doesn't frustrate me except for two small factors: (1) when it crashes, that annoys me - but I've had that with all OSes so MacOS shouldn't feel special here. (2) The menu bar is always at the top of the screen instead of with the window it controls, and you only get one menu bar at a time due to that (and a lot of mouse/head motion to go back and forth).
Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
When I have to use Windows (Vista, it came installed in my new HP laptop) my frustration level is very high and constant. I think it is quite easy to write some software that will display a large and constant number.
Now if they could only port this to Linux, I would be interested to see the results myself.
I regularly give Word, Excel and Vista the finger
Windows crashes for the umpteenth time --> user gets frustrated --> Microsoft Frustration Detection System TM crashes --> head of user asplodes.
Interestingly simple (but wholely effective) implementation!
# of chairs thrown.
RMS built that into Emacs around 1985.
Excuse me, but please get off my Pennisetum Clandestinum, eh!
This is a Microsoft bashing thread. There's OLPC bashing in the article before this one, if you're interested.
at least we never read about it in the 'news'.
the 'problems' as presented by the 'mainstream' mediahhaha, are homeowners, banks, energy consumption/waste, & now declining employment. none of this connects to the billions per day of maintaining the 'wars', & fudging the weather?
we know there's been a huge cost of life & limb. the rest of it must be 'on the house'.
of course there's some notion that numerous billionerrors are profiting handsomely, no mention of that debacle either.
talk about being bushwhacked, & kept in the dark?
if thinking about such things frustrates you, you might consider signing up for fuddle's patentdead anti-frustration devise, or just continue following the corepirate nazi hypenosys story LIEn. anything of relevance is replaced almost instantly with pr ?firm? scriptdead mindphuking propaganda or 'celebrity' trivia 'foam'. meanwhile;
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071229/ap_on_sc/ye_climate_records;_ylt=A0WTcVgednZHP2gB9wms0NUE
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/31/opinion/31mon1.html?em&ex=1199336400&en=c4b5414371631707&ei=5087%0A
is it time to get real yet? A LOT of energy is being squandered in attempts to keep US in the dark. in the end (give or take a few 1000 years), the creators will prevail (world without end, etc...), as it has always been. the process of gaining yOUR release from the current hostage situation may not be what you might think it is. butt of course, most of US don't know, or care what a precarious/fatal situation we're in. for example; the insidious attempts by the felonious corepirate nazi execrable to block the suns' light, interfering with a requirement (sunlight) for us to stay healthy/alive. it's likely not good for yOUR health/memories 'else they'd be bragging about it? we're intending for the whoreabully deceptive (they'll do ANYTHING for a bit more monIE/power) felons to give up/fail even further, in attempting to control the 'weather', as well as a # of other things/events.
http://video.google.com/videosearch?hl=en&q=video+cloud+spraying
dictator style micro management has never worked (for very long). it's an illness. tie that with life0cidal aggression & softwar gangster style bullying, & what do we have? a greed/fear/ego based recipe for disaster. meanwhile, you can help to stop the bleeding (loss of life & limb);
http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/12/28/vermont.banning.bush.ap/index.html
the bleeding must be stopped before any healing can begin. jailing a couple of corepirate nazi hired goons would send a clear message to the rest of the world from US. any truthful look at the 'scorecard' would reveal that we are a society in decline/deep doo-doo, despite all of the scriptdead pr ?firm? generated drum beating & flag waving propaganda that we are constantly bombarded with. is it time to get real yet? please consider carefully ALL of yOUR other 'options'. the creators will prevail. as it has always been.
corepirate nazi execrable costs outweigh benefits
(Score:-)mynuts won, the king is a fink)
by ourselves on everyday 24/7
as there are no benefits, just more&more death/debt & disruption. fortunately there's an 'army' of light bringers, coming yOUR way. the little ones/innocents must/will be protected. after the big flash, ALL of yOUR imaginary 'borders' may blur a bit? for each of the creators' innocents harmed in any way, there is a debt that must/will be repaid by you/us, as the perpetrators/minions of unprecedented evile, will not be available. 'vote' with (what's left in) yOUR wallet, & by your behaviors.
since when has clippy been this helpful? I mean, really...
Please stop stalking me, bro.
In 1989 I was Senior Computer Consultant at the UnivofSoCal Business school. I used to tell teh students about the "Critical Need Detector".
All electronic devices, particularly Xerox machines & PC's have designed into them a circuit called the "Critical Need Detector". It remotely & automatically detects Heartrate, Blood pressure & skin moisture level. If it finds any of these levels elevated, it'll trip off & say, "Neneeer neeeneeerrr neeeeennnneeeerrrr!!! Yoooouuuu caaaan't make me!!!".
To reset the device, you must walk at least 15 feet away & stay there at least 5 minutes. Coincedently... this is just long enough to go down the hall to get a drink of water.
Later, when I was a tech support agent at WorldNet, I'd tell my female customers:
"When dealing w/ electronics.... you must remember treat them just like children, dogs & husbands. NEVER let them know they have a choice!!!!" They said that made perfect sense & felt much better about using their systems.
And where on Earth could they have gotten a sufficient sample of frustrated people? Not Windows users, surely?
expandfairuse.org
"Emergency protocol Penguin. Please click here to install Linux of this machine."
>> figure out when you were frustrated. It could then offer to pair you up with someone else doing exactly the same thing who might be able to help you out.
To be honest I would find this 'feature' very frustrating in itself.
Its just apparently another way for Microsoft to shrug-off their bad UI designs and duties by putting it on the shoulders of other users instead.
But I have nothing against OLPC. I just find Linux frustrating. It doesn't mean I think everyone does.
Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
Well, good for them! They certainly need one badly.
What I want to know is how is this tool going to do me any good when my computer goes into its "reboot fifty times before XP comes up" mode?
This frustrated me so much I moved as many of my MP3s as would fit into the Linux side of the computer and changed the LILO default to Linux. After goobering with it a while I discovered that freeing space and defragging the C: drive (on HD0, AKA HDa and C:, which holds only the OSes and LILO, HD1 is Windows' D: drive and holds data) the problem is solved.
But that's when I experience frustration with windows: when it breaks. I've had Linux break on odccasion, but it has always been when there was flakey hardware.
mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
How about designing a system that doesn't frustrate those who are trying to use it in the first place?
I think they monitor the datastream from the webcam - if the amount of blue light suddenly increases, then the user will be frustrated.
Can Clippy 2.0 also read other people's minds? This question seems very useful:
It looks like your girlfriend is getting disgusted by your porn collection and/or porn currently playing. Would you like me to replace it with good old-fashioned American girl-on-girl action?
Your ad here. Ask me how!
I know that there's nothing more calming to have someone point out that I'm pissed with a system. Now the system is going to do this as well.
Does it come with a condescending laugh track as well?
I guess hooking a pissed off user with another pissed off user would create an 'organized terrorist cell' that can then be taken out by the Govt. I suppose that's one way for M$ to remove folks who dislike their services.
There are no loopholes. It's either legal or it's not.
The system should use different weightings for laptops and desktops: Many times when I am using a subnotebook I do so while I am walking or eating outdoors. Some times if I get interrupted by something I close the lid and I continue what I was doing afterwards. So laptop users are likely to take longer to complete a task compared to desktop users.
Also, while I was still learning to type in dvorak I needed amazingly more time to type than before on my desktop (after I learnt it I type ok, but I still have learnt it only for English and not for other languages). Could their algorithm take such training periods into account?
From TFA:
the system monitors certain behaviors tied to frustration (such as elevated heart rate)Oh yeah. I can see now that the system is guaranteed to misread the frustration levels whenever a user looks at porn peep shows. Yeah, this is 99.99999% of users, so they should take this into account somehow. Perhaps they should monitor the user's erection as well to make sure the detected heart rate is not related to libido!
then it triggers the routine that asks other users for helpI can imagine that... "Hello Sir: Do you need helping viewing your porn today?"
The idea, which was birthed at Microsoft ResearchExpected. They have lots of users who feel frustration with their products.
if your employer asks you to patch on a pair of electrodes before sitting down to work in the morning, my advice is to find another company to work for.Better become self-employed, I'd say (tip: it's easier than it sounds, especially if you save a lot before you begin). True freedom cannot be attained while being an employee of a traditional company.
Dear Aunt, our frustration-detection help system detected that you have problem with letting it set so. We now double you up to the killer, who will delete select all.
Build it, and they will come^Hplain.
You people have it all wrong. The "Frustration-Detection" system is a sweaty palm detecting galvanic mouse. (Too many spilled coffee false alarms with the liquid detecting keyboard.)
Won't even try to write a funny post, it's just too easy....
"The agriculture ministry is not in charge of Gundam" - Japanese ministry official.
If it's been patented by M$, then I know I won't be seeing it on my Macs and Linux boxes any time soon. What a stupid, sad system that shouldn't have a reason to exist in the first place.
Those using pirated Tinysoft signatures(TM) are a real threat to society and should all be thrown in jail.
reference: M-x doctor-mode RET
Are they trying to patent the tech from EMACS psychotherapist mode, make a poor, inferior implementation of it, sue RMS, and then PROFIT???
Colorless green Cthulhu waits dreaming furiously.
This is a "Management Function"
a) Collect data
b) Ignore results
Work on getting their operating system (vista)and office suite (v2007) to use less than 50gb on the hard drive and require less than 2gb ram to function smoothly and speedily. Yeah, that's what they should do... put that in you fucking frustration index Steve and see what the fuck comes out.... YEAH!
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Emo Philips
Am I in a minority of people who don't verbally abuse my computer on an hourly basis?
They finally found a use for Vista!!!
"Put your message in a modem, and throw it into the cyber-sea." - Rush
One time I worked on a hosting company's support ticket system, and they elevated tickets based on profanity and caps usage.
Even Star Fleet Officers if it ever comes out of vaporware.
http://saveie6.com/
Leave the trolling to the professionals, boy.
So let's get this straight. I'm the rational being, frustrated with this machine because it doesn't respond helpfully to my requests. So they want the computer to be able to recognize my frustration and... do what? Start working? Play soothing music?
If the thing is smart enough to know WHY I'm frustrated, it would be smart enough to fix the problem. More likely, it will guess wrong and frustrate me further. "Dangit, stop formatting this paragraph as a bulleted list," I say, and up pops Clippy. "I see that you're frustrated. Are you trying to make a bulleted list?" Cue explosion noises.
Also more likely is that the computer will waste computing power running its frustration-detection algorithm, bog down, and - surprise - frustrate the user.
Hey, how about just making computers that work better?
You are either growing frustrated or you are having a heart attack. Shall I notify the administrator?
Apple has patented a smugness detection process. If you are sufficiently smug while using your Apple computer, the machine will now give you a pat on the back. if you are not sufficiently smug it will automatically shut down and install Windows.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Do they monitor the "advice volunteers" to see if they are really helping, or just giving bad advice to see how frustrated the newbies get?
I could see volunteering becoming a new time-waster in high-schools and workplaces.
While this is a nifty keen toy to play with (Skipper!), how about simply making the software so it's not frustrating? That may seem like an oversimplification, but seriously, that's all you really need to do. Microsoft is sinking tons of money into what will essentially become a social network of bandaids and hacks to kludgy software. This not only becomes a problem on the front line, (User is trying to connect to a network share the sysadmin had purposely locked down to just Systems Support personal, Clippy 2.0 - Return of Clippy detects this and connects the user with a script kiddy who shows them exactly what to do to compromise network security to get to files the user didn't need any access to whatsoever) it's a money loser from end-to-end. Microsoft is paying for it's development and support, OEMs and companies are paying to purchase it as part of the OS/Office software, end users are paying for not just the add-on value to the base price of the software they're purchasing, but also the support costs when the thing breaks.
I have no tag line
Well, let's see...
/.
You are 50% Overrated and 50% Troll.
That's what you get for expressing an honest opinion that finds fault with Linux on
I use a Mac and have many (VMWare Fusion) VMs running all sorts of OSs under OS X 10.4.11 (inc. various XP and Vista).
Just installed the latest Ubuntu Desktop 7.10 and frankly, it's just a piece of shit. It was way, way better at 6.0.
That's the problem with geek-lead projects: no focus. Everyone just plays around and tinkers about with shit that's unimportant to the end-user, breaks stuff, forgets stuff, etc. etc.
I expect I'll get modded into oblivion for saying this, but so what?
Get your act together Ubuntu! I thought you were making progress but the suckage on 7.10 desktop is horrifying.
frustration= (OS =~ /Windows/i);
return frustration;
Hey don't blame me, IANAB
Why can't they make the system connect you with their support staff? Seems to me that'd be better than a cathartic session with another frustrated user. Now, so I'm not accused of missing the obvious, matching you up with someone other than them is cheaper to them and if they can sucker a user into believing that this is helpful, they've killed two birds with one stone. They would probaby try to use this as a way to make idiots out there believe that they are more like FLOSS software--"This is how you get help in the FLOSS world but better because we automatically find that other party to help you!" Microsoft "innovation" at work.
The algorithm should be quite simple:
/*God knows, they have the most data on this topic*/
import net.nickull.computerUsers.*;
class FrustrationDetection {
public static void main(String[] args) {
computerUser myUser = new ComputerUser;
osString foo = System.getOperatingSystem();
switch (foo) {
case Win2000:
myUser.status = myUser.status + "frustrated beyond belief";
break;
case Win98:
myUser.status = myUser.status + "postal";
break;
case XP:
myUser.status = myUser.status + "suicidal due to O/S bloat from service packs";
break;
case Vista:
myUser.status = myUser.status + "incomprehesible angry";
myUser.doFirearmOwnershipCheck();
company.hideFromUser();
break;
case (Linux || Unix || OSX):
myUser.status = myUser.status + productive and happy;
break;
}
}
}
"Question everything, including this!" - http://technoracle.blogspot.com/
Hmmmm. A patent to detect increased agitation, heart beat, breathing at a computer, then pair you up with someone doing something similar.
Uhhh, yeah, so you can help each other "solve your problem". Yeah, that's the ticket!
(-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
I don't know how they plan on doing it, but here's my scheme for detecting frustration; put a "God Damn You" button on the keyboard and wait.
I've always though some kind of frustration detection system would be kind of cool to have - perhaps some sensors in the keyboard to tell how hard I have hit it, or an audio recognition system that is triggered when I yell "FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!111!", and then have it automatically send an electric shock to the appropriate computer programmer and/or their manager.
Isn't this the principle behind the Lie Detector. That was patented many years ago.
I'd say this is fairly easy to detect..
:-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4a1z7NLnNk
Employee #1: "You know, our operating systems sure do piss off a lot of people."
Employee #2: "Do you think that there is any way to make money off of that?"
Andrew Borntreger
Champion of cinematic disasters
-detection system
Microsoft is smart! This would have made for an awesomely hilarious, and pointed, April 1 post (right up there with the "evil bit"). But those clever Microsofties have taken preemptively taken action for once and made anyone using this Joke 4 months later look rather silly, I'd say... they are learning...
As Microsoft already has two monopolies on causing user frustration, it only makes sense they patent the detection of such frustration.
If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
I thought WGA already did this?
Linux is a trademarked name. Don't typo it you insensitive clod!
Sometimes when playing Future Pinball (pinball sim), I hold shift to catch a ball or read the status report. Sticky Keys then promptly opens up a dialog that sometimes leads me to losing my ball down the drain. I can't remember if I ever figured out how to disable that thing but I know it happened at least a few times and frustrated the hell out of me.
I was in the middle of one specific task and Windows interrupted me on a hunch. This frustration-recognition software better be disablable. The first time a string of rapid weapon fire presses gets interpreted as frustrated use of the mouse I'm gonna throw my monitor at something.
"It could then offer to pair you up with someone else doing exactly the same thing who might be able to help you out."
Just what we need. A bunch of disgruntled Windows users talking to each other and forming solutions.
I mean, really, this is just what we need.
The above is not worth reading.
The light in the power button: when it's on you're frustrated.
Clearly an admission of defeat by Microsoft. You can bet the genesis of the whole idea and it's major users will be Microsoft's support and development staff.
Ever tried to look something up in Access's VB help? It's so much less frustrating to use Google. And it is typically more informative. Particularly, some support group. Which you may note is The intended response and the latest target of Microsoft's market strategies.
I don't doubt that some manager noticed that Microsoft's support and development staff were spending an inordinate amount of time on Google looking for solutions to problems. If you are going to try to kill off you competition first you have to get your own people to stop supporting them.
"Microsoft has patented a frustration-detection help system that would monitor your computer use and biometrics to figure out when you were frustrated. [...] Is this patent a harbinger of a dystopian future where computer users' biorhythms will be monitored to increase efficiency?"
Yes. Yes it is. As per this Microsoft video:
"Some years ago Microsoft learned that a frustrated employee is an adrenalized employee; one, who in spite of appearance, actually accomplishes more."
Obviously, the idea is to determine when users aren't frustrated enough and add some random crashes or such. Expect this 'feature' in Windows 7!
Property is theft.
Hi, this is Clippy. I noticed you appear to be pounding the keyboard with your fist. Would you like help composing an email to anger management service?
There are so many easier ways to detect such things . . .
The glass fragments from the monitor thrown across the room . . .
The fist protruding from the back of a flat screen, dripping with a funny liquid . . .
The broken bits of keys . . .
The former pedestrian unconscious on the sidewalk from the remnants of the monitor that went through the window . . .
hawk
That was my thought; if you're running windows, you're frustrated. Therefore, the WGA annoyance to check if you're running windows is automatically a frustration monitor. Just another example of MS defining the standard and then expecting everyone else to conform to it, after they have a first-out-the-door advantage. ;)
Returned Peace Corps IT Volunteer
hello World?
nosig today
Muzzle flash detection.
Have gnu, will travel.
Windows is the king of frustration. How hard would it be to keep a window in focus if you can detect the user is actively using it? (Don't pop a new application in front of an active one! Pop it BEHIND!) If I hit SLEEP button, and then start clicking around, Abort the Sleep process! I obviously changed my mind!
etc
"Hey it looks like you don't know what to do, have you tried to..."
...the pervasive fully integrated user frustration function of Windows.
So if they are trying to determine the level of frustration of users of windows, don't they need a "no frustration" reference?
Or is this to show user don't have any @(*&#%#)@^125# frustration with Windows, as windows is the reference point.
No need for M$ to patent a frustration detection system. They just need to change windows enough so that applications cannot steal focus. This is my biggest complaint with windows - apps always stealing focus away from the app that I am currently typing stuff into.
Dell already did this to me some time ago. During a three week attempt to get a spare laptop battery for a two year old laptop they mistakenly gave me the contact details of another client looking for the same part. I called them up thinking they were a local Dell repair centre and for a minute we both thought we were talking to some idiot from Dell that didn't know what was going on. It did work in the end - we both agreed that a third party supplier was a better idea than Dell.
If you can't figure out the way menus work in Windows during the years long wait between releases... Well maybe you're on the wrong website?
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask where they're goin' and hook up with 'em later.
... If this system will lead to the use of BSODs tailored to the current mood of the user.
Sort of reminds girl I used to play Uno with. You'd give her a draw two, or reverse play just as it would have been her turn. Then you'd draw a wild draw four and she would scream (All in fun, of course.) Let me HELP you! while handing you your cards from the pool, instead of letting you draw them yourself.
Really fun girl to hang around with, not like Micro$oft at all. Just her Let me HELP you! comes back to mind whenever I try to be productive on Micro$oftware.
Computer memory is just fancy paper, CPUs just fancy pens with fancy erasers; the 'net is just a fancy backyard fence.
Silly question but how many menu bars do you use at one time? do you really have working multi touch computer OS on your desktop? It's not like you don't have to click twice to bring up a background window and then select the menu option. There are some exceptions to that with X window managers but that is the exception to the rule.
Having the menu bar at the top doesn't bother me, in fact it gives me more room to do things. I did have to get used to seeing qhich application was running at anyone time however. And then apple introduced Expose and I haven't worried about it.
i thought once I was found, but it was only a dream.
I hope you don't really believe anybody actually READS that stuff?
One per application I run.
No, what did that have to do with my prior post?
You have to click on the window who's menu you want to access (if it ins't focused), then click on the menu to access it.
That's preference issue. To each his/her own. I have plenty of room to do things, but having to move my head and mouse around a lot to see/access the menu is annoying to me.
It's a simple preference. You like your way and that's fine. I like my way and there is nothing wrong with that either.
Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
>>You have to click on the window who's menu you want to access (if it ins't focused), then click on the menu to access it.>It's a simple preference. You like your way and that's fine. I like my way and there is nothing wrong with that either.
With that I agree 100%.
I used Windows and Linux for years, and just never was satisfied. While I have problems with OS X the only way for them to be solved is for someone to make Plan 9 pretty.
i thought once I was found, but it was only a dream.