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2007 Darwin Award Winners
Web Goddess writes "The 2007 Darwin Award Winners have been announced. Precarious sex, squashed thieves, animals eradicated with electricity, the obligatory macho competition involving a train, and one computer (which survived.) But think twice before you read them. Do you really want to know about The Enema Within?"
So, one of those Egg Council creeps got to you too, huh?
I bet the alcohol bottle took one look at him and said "what an asshole".
Dave
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. --Martin Luther King Jr.
*applause*
Did he at least get the mole?
...and think "Damn, an assload of booze" again.
Patriot - A fan of expanding government power and spending while not wanting to pay higher taxes.
Are you implying the Darwin Awards don't matter?
Ah, you found me!
slashdotted
No response from server after loading only 2 of the awards...
I deny that I have not avoided attaining the opposite of that which I do not want.
I nominate darwinawards.com for allowing itself to be linked on Slashdot. That server is toast.
+0 Meh
Looks like their web server is in line to win an '08 Darwin Award!
What the hell are you talking about?
+0 Meh
Why yes, yes I do. I'm guessing that's a third-date sort of thing?
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
What Goes Up Must Come Down 2007 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin "What goes up must come down." (20 June 2007, South Carolina) A passing cabbie found a 21 year-old couple Znaked and injured in the road an hour before sunrise. The two people died at the nearest hospital without regaining consciousness. Authorities were at a loss to explain what had happened. There were no witnesses, no trace of clothing, and no wrecked cars or motorcycles. Investigators eventually found a clue high on the roof of a nearby building: two sets of neatly folded clothes. Safe sex takes on a whole new meaning when you are perched on the edge of a pyramid-shaped metal roof. "It appears as if [they] accidentally fell off the roof," Sgt. Florence McCants said. This is a true Darwin Award trifecta: TWO people die, WHILE in the act of procreation, due to an ASTONISHINGLY poor decision. Bottom line: If you put yourself in a precarious "position" at the edge of a pointy roof, you may well find yourself coming and going at the same time. Ironically, one of the deceased was named "Tumbleston."
The Enema Within 2007 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin (21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation. The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address! When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead. The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%. In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.
Support Group 2007 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin "Gravity still works." (28 July 2007, Czech Republic) A pack of thieves attempted to steal scrap metal from an abandoned factory in Kladno. Unfortunately for them, they selected the steel girders that supported the factory roof. When the roof supports were dismantled, the roof fell, fatally crushing two thieves and injuring three others. (21 June 2007, Philippines) Three entrepreneurs planned to profit from stolen scrap metal. They entered a former US military complex and approached the prize: an abandoned water tank. Bedazzled by the potential upside, the three threw logic to the wind, and began to cut the metal legs out from under the tank. Guess where it fell? Straight onto the thieves. Their flattened bodies have not yet been identified. (31 July 1997) Two teens were disassembling an electric tower with wrenches when it toppled to the ground. They apparently wanted to sell its aluminum supports for scrap, but they failed to realize the essential role the aptly named "support" plays in a 160-foot tower. One of the men was crushed by the collapse of the ten-thousand-pound tower, while the other dug himself out from under, a sadder but wiser man from his close brush with a Darwin Award. Reference: Associated Press
Oil Tank Trampoline 2007 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin (24 June 2007, Colorado) If you get "Footloose" and cut the rug on an oil tank, be careful not to light a cigarette or bong of weed, else you may soo
It looks like The Darwin Awards web server has become the victim of the Slashdot Effect! Maybe the IT dept. at The Darwin Awards server room should win the award?
And, no doubt, like every other year, it will be filled with previously disproven and utterly ridiculous urban legends, because they happen to sound better than the real thing.
I think Snopes (or perhaps Mythbusters if you're desperate) should have a "Darwin Awards" special every year.
Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
dunno if it's there since the site's slashdotted, but you'd think that would deserve a mention
Nothing for 6-digit uids?
The winner was a couple that had sex on a roof, followed by someone filling his ass with alcohol. The rest must be 'less amusing' so IOW No balloons on a chair, rocket engines on a car, or skydiver forgetting his ever important backpack.
Coral cache: http://darwinawards.com.nyud.net/darwin/darwin2007.html
First of all, it could have been murder.
Secondly, the guy was nearly 60... married twice. If he was childless at that point he wasn't going to contribute to the gene pool anyway, alcohol enema death or no alcohol enema death.
"I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)
"It was kind of like using a chilled chrome buttplug. Tip: do not try this after being fisted! Fuck that may have been the most painful night in my life!"
Thanks for the tip. I'll try to keep that in mind.
Patriot - A fan of expanding government power and spending while not wanting to pay higher taxes.
No, he's implying (!news || !for nerds) && (!stuff || !matters). Simple logic.
Mod grandparent up. While we all might get a chuckle and some delightful schadenfreude out of these awards, we should remember that the award recipients are all (or mostly) real people, and that their deaths have had a devastating effect on their loved ones. Sure, they may have died in profoundly stupid ways, but does that entitle anyone to laugh at their untimely demise? Most of us, if we're honest with ourselves, have done stupid things in the past, but (fortunately) these stupid things haven't fatally backfired. And stupid actions are not mutually exclusive with intelligence - Otto Plath (Sylvia's father) was convinced that he had cancer and stayed away from doctors, then died of diabetes mellitus, which he could have managed if he'd been diagnosed earlier. The guy possessed several degrees, diplomas and doctorates in a multitude of fields, and without his genes we would not have one of the twentieth century's greatest poets. Yet I'm pretty sure 'Darwin' would have a chuckle at his demise.
I wish it was so I could mod this "Dumbass".
+0 Meh
The foolish man repeats his mistakes (except when trying for a Darwin award).
The intelligent man learns from his mistakes (unless they are fatal).
But, the wise man learns from the mistakes of others.
The authorities certainly thought so initially. They since dropped the charges, however.
The term "Nerds" encompasses a very wide range of people and personalities. You'll find all types here, although politically it's a safe bet to say most Slashdotters lean towards liberalism--at least as it's applied to social issues. I'm no libertarian (-5.62, -5.33). As much as liberals and progressives would like to consider themselves compassionate and caring we're still humans, we still can't help but look at the car accident as we pass by. There's a morbid fascination with death that all humans have. It's a strange urge to take a peak at something you'll have to experience first hand in the end, and it scares us, but it also captivates us. I don't think there's anything wrong with commentating on someone's death; and Slashdot certainly didn't invent dark humor, nor is it the most extreme example of it to be found on the web. Not by a long shot. I've seen things you wouldn't believe.
We're not laughing at people we killed, they died by their own hands. Speculating on the ramifications their removal from the gene pool has on the larger society doesn't make them any more or less dead. I will grant you that my opinion would change if it was a loved one or a friend being talked about and laughed at. Isn't that the essence of comedy though? Something bad happens, to someone else. And It's not always your day to be merely a spectator.
If you build it, nerds will come. Soylentnews.org
I humbly protest the DA each year, but not with any judgment or anger about it.
Exploiting death for humor turns me off somehow (except for the occasional hard criminal - good riddance to them).
Of course that's not the INTENTION, but that's what it is really...
I suggest you read Slashdot
meh.
I've got a pretty twisted sense of humour, but not too many of these are very funny. maybe the mole/electrocution one...but:
couple dies after falling off the roof they on which they were having sex?
man has a car accident and dies because he was trying to use his laptop while driving?
I don't know - seems like a poor crop this year.
maybe people are just getting smarter?
HAHAHA (*wipes tear from eye*)
Coitus Interruptus - ? http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:Tn__1Wlm4yAJ:www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-05.html+darwin+awards+2007+Coitus+Interruptus&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1/
The Enema Within - http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:XstNYmjE6HEJ:www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-13.html+darwin+awards+2007+the+enema+within&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1/
Weight Lift - http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:tw9FxHzjlMIJ:www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-10.html+darwin+awards+2007+weighted+lift&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1/
Support group - http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:YTaW1K_CuMMJ:www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-09.html+darwin+awards+2007+support+group&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1/
Beer for Bears - http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:o6AOEFDNMKEJ:www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-08.html+darwin+awards+2007+beer+for+bears&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1/
Stop. Look. Listen. - http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:WzxkuhMGeegJ:www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-11.html+darwin+awards+2007+stop+look+listen&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1/
A Prop-er Job - http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:XJeaf-KVQLEJ:www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-03.html+darwin+awards+2007+%22a+prop-er+job%22&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1/
Oil Tank Trampoline - http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:K6PCQLDDR04J:www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-06.html+darwin+awards+2007+oil+tank+trampoline&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1/
Superior Momentum - http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:oAhg-uXJdmgJ:www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-07.html+darwin+awards+2007+superior+momentum&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1/
Barn Demolition - http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:oIp1EibmK-gJ:www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-02.html+darwin+awards+2007+barn+demolition&hl=en&gl=us&strip=1/
Electronic Fireworks -
Fatal a-Traction - http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:T86gS6EexbMJ:www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-16.html+darwin+award
Doctors do Massage in Longview WA now, who knew?
If you allow yourself to really empathize with all the tragedy in the world, then you would collapse emotionally. Humor is a psychological self-defense. You can consider a situation and possible learn something from it without getting too emotionally invested.
Dead Reverend's Rubber Fetish
Autopsy: Pastor found in wetsuits after autoerotic mishap
OCTOBER 8--An Alabama minister who died in June of "accidental mechanical asphyxia" was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge's death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery's Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge's two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister's rubber briefs. Aldridge served as the church's pastor for 16 years. Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to "please refrain from speculation" about what led to Aldridge's demise, adding that, "we will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ." (5 pages)
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1008072scuba1.html
Are you asking questions to which you already know the answer?
Blue screen of death fatality? No, the poor bastard was died because he ran into a Hummer. Those things are so wide he did not have to cross the line to have the accident and no passenger car will survive the impact. If you need to haul things, please buy a pickup truck or a van or a hatchback, not something designed for combat. When you don't need to haul things, please buy a passenger vehicle with properly designed crush zones.
What kind of people are we to make fun and games about someone dying?
Even if it is a spectacular stupid way, it still is no reason to laugh at their corpse and go "Ha Ha!" nelson style.
I nominate planet Earth for a planet-wide Darwin Award:
http://www.setileague.org/editor/metitran.htm
Table-ized A.I.
As a funeral director I think Darwin awards should be handed out not to the stupid but to the senseless. The following list is based on my own professional observations of people I think qualify for a Darwin Award.
1. pedestrians who ignore traffic
2. recreational drug users
3. drivers who drive distracted, intoxicated or stupid
4. people who commit suicide (if you find yourself in this spot, seriously talk to someone. I've seen the aftermath and its never clean, neat or peaceful -- and anyone who tells you different... has never been there)
The real tragedy isn't that we do stupid things but we keep doing the same stupid things with the same tragic results and always act surprised when people die.
So seriously folks, next time you think its safe to cross on a red light, drive and talk on a cell phone or take hit of cocaine at a party, just remember that millions of people ahead of you of made the same decision and are either dead or killed some poor innocent person.
A senseless death stops being senseless when we learn from it and resolve not to let it happen again. Give the real Darwin Awards to the tens of thousands who never learn.
The qualifications are loose, as the contest is more about laughing at crazily "stupid" deaths than accurately pointing out people whose genes don't get passed on.
Any of the winners could have donated eggs, sperm, or embryos anonymously, and there are other caveats besides. Scientific advancements have made it kinda difficult to say for sure whether a death prior to traditional procreation means the end of the genetic line.
NERDS. DARWIN. You must not have paid attention to SCIENCE classes in high school, did you?
No wonder you're posting as AC, so your UID doesn't get downmodded into oblivion due to your stupidity.
Still waiting on Serviscope_minor to wake up to fucking reality and realize that Jessica Price isn't going to fuck him.
Some people are stupid. Often times, people will be more afraid of peer pressure -- what people will think -- than actual risk of physical harm. Look at the people who die trying to reenact stunts from Jackass. If mocking people who die in idiotic ways prevents even a very low number of extra people from offing themselves in similar ways, then it has accomplished something.
It still doesn't make us very nice people.
Even if it is a spectacular stupid way, it still is no reason to laugh at their corpse and go "Ha Ha!" nelson style. If I stuck a bottle rocket up my butt and ended up with 3rd degree burns, would you laugh?
"I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)
cute, but:
- the dude crossed the line
- a hummer h1 is ~8" wider than most fullsized pickups, so not that huge a difference
- it was probably a hummer h2, which is only a couple inches wider than pickups
- a hummer (even the h1) isn't designed for combat
This is the point of the Darwin awards. Those fools do not get to contribute to the gene pool. I like the gravity still works one...
I drink to make other people interesting!
Surely this teenager deserve a mention http://www.daily-times.com/ci_7938831... DA you insensitive clod!
I really would have thought we'd have seen an entry from anyone of those thousands of people who Died in a Blogging Accident..
Why, yes. Yes I would.
I'd laugh even harder if you said you didn't know you were taking that risk when you were, after all, putting a firework up your ass and lighting it.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. - Einstein
Remind me not to party with any morticians.
Officer Poncherello of the CHiPs remarked, "The occupants of the Hummer were very lucky there was only a single laptop involved. Imagine the damage that could have been caused by a Beowulf cluster of these. Of course, if he had been running Linux, like we recommend, this would not have happened."
Show me on the doll where his noodly appendage touched you.
"A paper-cut is a tragedy. Comedy is when you fall down a manhole and DIE."
--Mel Brooks
Even if it is a spectacular stupid way, it still is no reason to laugh at their corpse and go "Ha Ha!" nelson style. If I stuck a bottle rocket up my butt and ended up with 3rd degree burns, would you laugh? Post the YouTube video and we'll let you know.
It's also a good way to get past initial trauma and depression, but apply with care in long term situations. I have a coworker that was in an accident, headaches and shit. In the beginning it was all wisecracks like "Not tonight dear, I have a headache" and it helped him and us all deal with it. The problems lasted, the jokes grew stale and so they stopped. Then it suddenly got all glum and serious and solemn at the same time as he was trying to deal with it being long-term or perhaps even permanent. Right then I felt really sorry for him, but when the balloon had popped like that it wasn't easy to change. Somehow, I'd do things differently if I had the chance...
Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
http://darwinawards.com.nyud.net:8090/
Enjoy
Actually this is pretty on-topic, it reminds all of us: in tech support, programming, design and administration what users can be truly capable of.
"Enjoy what you're doing! If it becomes drudgery, you're doing it wrong!" - Jim Butterfield
Slashdot's purpose is (was) supposed to be technology related news, usually computer stuff.
There are millions of websites out there aimed at providing general news, and almost all of them provided links to the Darwin awards. Most of the people who come here do so to find interesting technology news, which the Darwin awards aren't. If I wanted to see every piece of shit article that some idiot considers news, I'd just go to Reddit or (god forbid) Digg.
Far be it from me to suggest how the Slashdot staff runs their website, but I don't think this article really meshes with the stated purpose.
My favorite is about a pregnant woman who thought she could fix a washing machine and electrocuted herself. I laughed my ass off.
QED. You're all sick bastards.
Cry me a fucking river. Of the approximately 150000 people who died today, how many did you personally mourn or even acknowledge?
Dying in an entertaining way is the best thing most of those idiots ever did for the world, the least you can do is give them the recognition they deserve.
Those of us who have a shot at living for many more years but have had a hard look at the grim reaper peering back at us recently might have a different perspective than those in their healthy years have. I remember sitting in the waiting room of the oncology department of a major hospital awaiting my turn under the accelerator, about seven years ago. A few of us in that room of gloom and doom made friends because we scheduled our appointment at the same time every week, for many weeks. Some of us joked about our conditions and expected demise. My wife couldn't handle it so stayed outside, but to those of us in there that I got to know, we did quite well I think, thanks to humor.
On the bigger scale, every healthy soul is in the same boat in life. We have to joke about this condition we call life--it's going to kill us one way or another. Though it might be tragic to watch how some people find ways to go out, it is most interesting. With the Darwin Awards, even amusing given an objective perspective.
Death is inevitable. (Or so I'm told - still working on that one.) We can either laugh at it or weep for our fate. I prefer to laugh. Particularly given some of the spectacularly stupid ways some people figure out to die.
Why, yes. Yes I would.
I'd laugh even harder if you said you didn't know you were taking that risk when you were, after all, putting a firework up your ass and lighting it. There we go. We ridicule people who do dumb things. Most people don't want to be ridiculed, so stories like this make them think twice before doing something stupid.
That's the theory anwyay. I can honestly say I've avoided doing dumb stuff because I've seen videos on youtube. I can also honestly say that if I die, and the story of my death makes it to the Darwin Awards, I really cannot demand that everybody do anything but laugh.
"I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)
Eventualy, you end your life dying. Face it, that's life. But what you're never told is you die *twice*, because save a handfull of really important people for their contribution to History (with capital 'H'), after 50 years everybody will totally forget you.
But if your exit is at least newsworthy there's still a slim chance it won't be forgotten in your own family. The grand father of my grand-grand father (5 generations above me) was the only one we knew by tradition before my mother did some genealogical research. All others above him, at his level, and some under him, were completely lost. But he was remembered because he died kicked by a horse in the head. Not especially funny, but newsworthy.
The Darwin winners of today will have their memories cherished *longer* by *many more people* than those dying a peaceful and natural death.
Think about it. Now, where's my axe, I have a barn to bring down.
You've been dying to say that.
caused by the number of calls from Slashdot...
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker would destroy civilization.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
-Mel Brooks
http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/26965.html
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
He was found with a condom-wrapped dildo inside him. Now, there are two ways to go about interpreting that:
1. He had a dom come over and service him, and that was her private equipment, so she kept things hygenic. Then something went wrong, and she fled.
or
2. America's reluctance to provide adequate sex education has finally paid off in epic lulz.
Good Christ.... that story reads like the first issue of Warren Ellis' comic "Fell". I'm not kidding.... the murder that was investigated in the first issue of the comic was basically the same kind of thing. Man unable to drink alcohol takes it rectally instead, and dies when his wife uses hard liquor instead of wine.
Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
Here's one which was reported here in New Zealand, I think about a year ago. (I think it was around new year.)
Some teens decided to get high by inhaling a flamable gas (propane?) while sitting together in a car with the windows closed. Then one of them decided he wanted a smoke...
One died, as the mixture in his lungs happened to be in the explosive range. The rest were badly burned. However, the story disappeared off the news media without revealing whether the smoker was the one who died, so I couldn't submit it as a Darwin candidate.
Quattuor res in hoc mundo sanctae sunt: libri, liberi, libertas et liberalitas.
Strictly speaking, my sensibilities exist as electrical activity in my brain.
Humor is subjective. I don't find most jokes children tell funny but they laugh their asses off at them. I find immense humor in the bizarre and unexplained and often get stared at for howling with laughter at, for example, a crowd of goats milling around outside a grocery store. Some people are able find deaths humorous because as far as they are concerned, the dead aren't suffering (whether because they're in their religion's Better Place or because their consciousness no longer exists) and so there's no reason not to laugh if the method of delivery is ironic or comedic. Some people find death itself humorous for any number of reasons - for me it is the same kind of thing as watching a particularly impatient individual struggle frantically to push open a door that we can both see is clearly marked "Pull to open". After all the time, effort, opportunity and angst wasted on avoiding death, death went about its business undisturbed with nothing more than a quick check mark on the to-do list. (Particularly amusing to me is that the association between death and night is so powerful that people prefer to schedule their time spent unconscious - ie. sleep - at night when you would expect them to want to have their guard up.) Obviously this would not appeal to someone who themselves fears and fights death.
The Darwin Awards I find funniest are those that involve particularly grievous acts of stupidity because (a) stupid people are funny and (b) most people fear death to laughable extremes, so it's ironic when they turn out to be working very, very hard toward it. Many of the awards I find dull, but someone who sees an extreme fear of death as logical would probably be entertained by someone who evidently didn't agree receiving what they see as the natural consequence of that belief.
Of course the awards are partially funny in a truly sadistic way - humans very frequently find great entertainment in others' pain and misfortune, as evidenced in the American obsession with men receiving a blow to the crotch. Similarly many people will likely find some entertainment in the idea (or mental image) of a 63-year-old man being electrocuted (or from one of my favorite awards, a man being blown to smithereens by a warehouse full of fireworks, which is inherently funny to me) - whether or not they ever admit it.
Whoever told you Slashdot was progressive didn't fully explain themselves. The consciousness of the site itself mostly favors progression toward covering lifelike statues of Natalie Portman's nude body with hot grits. The people who use it hold widely varying opinions and beliefs, including (but certainly not limited to) libertarian viewpoints, a distrust and dislike for government, and senses of humor that others commonly find unusual and perverse. The editors' focus on subjects the general public finds uninteresting tends to attract an audience that does find them interesting, which means they have a higher level of independence from the group consciousness (making libertarianism more attractive), society doesn't mind oppressing those interests (usually in the form of governmental action such as encryption regulations, which leads to animosity toward the government) and deviation from the norm doesn't bother them (so if they have a socially unacceptable sense of humor, they are more likely to express it).
I suggest you stop trying to post flamebait; you aren't particularly good at it. Truly good flamebait requires a subject so emotionally charged that even the intellectual crowd attracted by the focus on mostly mental pursuits is blinded by rage and unable to coherently discuss it, but also so subjective that nobody will ever be able to win the inevitable fight. If you absolutely must bait flames, do it right. There is only one sure way: assert that either emacs or vi is better than the other.
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful.
I think this article is informative.
Unfortunately, there is still no one to equal the awesome Lawn Chair Larry. That was the best ever.
Consider that in this year's list, they flagged the cow misadventure as possibly too common.
Now, I live in a city, so I find cow accidents to be hilarious, not the 'serious community problem' that some municipalities face. Of course, mishaps with autoerotic strangulation are common, and tragic - not funny at all!
Besides, at 51 and a pastor, there is no reason to assume that he has been celibate.
Lars T.
To the guy who modded me down from perfect to terrible Karma - Apple haters still suck
In Finland schoolgirls were alleged to have been soaking their tampons in vodka for a similar effect
I can't be the only one who clicked on that last link first thing, can I?
Personally I think they should update the criteria too but I was thinking more along the lines of giving the award for "activities that show absolutely no evidence of intelligent design"!
Obligatory Homer Simpson quote:
"HAHAHA, it's funny cuz it's not me."
or "HAHAHA, it's funny cuz I don't know him."
Maybe I'm just a heartless human being, but those dumb asses deserve to be made the object of ridicule.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/01/13/escalator.plunge.ap/index.html
Anyone who claims that an award is a "Darwin" award without excluding those who've successfully reproduced doesn't understand what they are talking about.
Just because they were clever enough to register the domain name first doesn't mean these 'tards deserve attention every year.
I thought they might have had a special mention for John Darwin, who faked his death in a canoeing accident, then showed up - pretending to suffer from amnesia - in a London police station a few months after his wife received the life insurance and moved to Panama. But maybe that was too recent for this set of awards. He's one guy who should have stayed dead and quietly gone on with his life in Panama rather than creating national headlines even before the fraud came to light.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Darwin_disappearance_case
the more they over-think the plumbing the easier it is to stop up the pipe
should remove himself from the gene pool. The translated submission says the lift was coming up towards her (the victim's face), but the original [Spanish] submission clearly states that it was going down (descendía == descend), i.e. from above and behind her head. It was so stupid, it had to be inaccurate!
Atheism is a religion because it hinges on something that can't be proven, ie: that there is no god. In the absence of irrefutable evidence, to declare decisively that god does not exist is just as much a matter of faith as claiming that there is one.
This ain't rocket surgery.
Whether they did before isn't the issue. They removed themselves from the gene pool, so they don't have any future opportunities to add to the pond scum in the gene pool.
My blog. Good stuff (when I remember to update it). Read it.
I've met many people with degrees who are complete morons. Just because you're educated doesn't mean you're smart, as you've so helpfully provided an anecdote to prove.
Darwin laughs at the stupid people. Not uneducated, or uncreative, or unproductive. Stupid. If you should have known better, and still went ahead and did it, you're deserving of derision and publicity, because hopefully someone else will learn to not be stupid in the same way you were.
My blog. Good stuff (when I remember to update it). Read it.
Atheism isn't a religion because nobody has ever been able to scientifically prove that it is bullshit.
Religion, whichever one you may think to be the one true religion, the one that all others are inferior to, has never been able to prove anything more than mass insanity.
I think the book you're looking for is "the god delusion" by richard dawkins. Or, if you're just time-pressed, the DVD "root of all evil" by richard dawkins.
You should at least consider if there is any evidence for this imaginary friend in the sky you claim to have.
I've never heard anyone over the age of 6 claim to have an imaginary friend, let alone base their entire life on what their imaginary friend says.
Are you still going to claim religion is provably true?
- Kaos games and encryption systems developer
That's science, buddy. There's no irrefutable evidence of how gravity works, but we all pretty much trust that it works. Atheism is simply stating that with all the scientific evidence and everything we know now, it's not very likely there's an invisible best friend to take care of some invisible part of us after we die. Atheism isn't a religion any more than E=mc^2 is a religion.
My blog. Good stuff (when I remember to update it). Read it.
"it's better to make friends than enemas."
Patriot - A fan of expanding government power and spending while not wanting to pay higher taxes.
will this do?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOUKjHyoEjM&feature=related
well, there are two problems with that:
1. atheism isn't a religion
2. atheism doesn't hinge on something that can't be proven
a religion is a system of belief surrounding a deity. as far as I know, atheism is about the lack of belief in a deity or deities.
also, as far as I know, atheism does not claim there is no god. perhaps you meant "strong atheism," to which there are virtually no adherents, I'm guessing.
50 years after I'm gone, I'd rather be forgotten than remembered for dying with some foreign object in my anus.
LK
"Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
Mel Brooks
(sheesh it would kill you to use google?)
Soem of the high school kids in my area are spraying high proof drinks up the nose as a whay to get drink faster. Can also get poisoned faster too.
That's an interesting article. Even though most of it's common sense, it's told in a way that I've never looked at before. Besides, monkeys are always relevant!
I challange you to re-read my post and point out where I made any such claim. Of course religion is not provably true, it's a matter of faith. But in the absence of irrefutable proof of the non-existance of god, so is atheism.
Once again, I challenge you to point out where I made any claim to having an "imaginary friend." As a matter of fact, I am an agnostic. I doubt the existence of a god but I can't actually prove that one does not exist. And neither can you. You may believe that to be the case but then it becomes just that--a matter of belief in something that can't be proven.
In other words, a religion.
This ain't rocket surgery.
No, it's exactly the opposite of science, which is the point I was trying to make. There may be no irrefutable evidence of how gravity works but there's a pretty damn good theory thanks to the Dr. Einstein who's equation you mentioned. Atheism, on the other hand, has nothing going for it other than a certain amount of anectdotal evidence. To believe with certainty in something that can't be proven is a matter of faith, just like a religion.
This ain't rocket surgery.
Prove to me gravity works. I didn't say show me an equation describing how it accelerates things, I said prove to me how it works.
You can't. Yet you claim gravity is science and deduction that there is no god based on observable evidence is not? There is no evidence of god other than some old books and human yearnings, and there's no reason that a god of some sort has to exist, so it's a much simpler (and therefore more more likely to be right) theory to postulate that there is no deity, especially one that cares about human matters. And until the evidence changes, that's the working theory. Atheism is simply the continuation scientific thought, god is a myth so people sleep well at night.
My blog. Good stuff (when I remember to update it). Read it.
Your Google-fu is strong. Your lack of having anything better to do with your life is weak.
In fact, the very word means "without god." It's from the Greek atheos, from a-, 'without' + theos, 'god'.
This ain't rocket surgery.
Easy : quit putting things up there now ;-)
Personally, I suspect that god is a myth so people feel better about dying.
This ain't rocket surgery.
Easy : quit putting things up there now ;-)
I avoid it at all costs. That's what would be so horrible about it.
If Elton John died with a hand mixer in his anus, it wouldn't be news for long but if Matt Damon died with a gerbil in his, that would be earth shattering news.
LK
"Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
Oh, one of those pathetic agnostics. Make up your mind, if you have the courage to do so.
Either there is no god, gods or other such imaginary friends which no sane adult hears from; or,
there is a god, gods or other things which nobody has ever been able to prove exists outside their skull.
You sir, have failed in both belief and disbelief. Which makes you a special kind of loser, special in the same way that retarded people are called special.
All agnostics are fucking idiots who can't chose between rational thought and what some insane fuckwit came up with, the most famous one I can think of is the New Zealand Prime Minister.
Think about this, if god exists, then why the fuck does it never answer prayers? Why is there no world peace?
The answer is simple, god doesn't exist. Therefore your selfish desires go unanswered when you pray.
All of this is mere primary school logic, which I reasoned out when a friends parents took me to a fucked up fundamentalist church when I stayed over at his place.
If you want a balanced and fair reason why atheism is the only rational choice against dumb, blind and retarded faith; then you should read the god delusion or see the root of all evil dvd.
All an agnostic is, is someone who can't even tell if they have an imaginary friend or not.
As for proof that god doesn't exist, I've had a accident where I had been technically dead for a moment.
There is no afterlife, no heaven, no hell, no nirvana, no valhalla, nothing but darkness.
So I therefore have to say the evidence is strongly against the whole point of religion, which is usually
"Do good things in this life and you will be rewarded in the next."
What I believe is that you should feel free to do what is good for you and others, by your own free will and not because some asshat said if you don't, you'll go to hell.
- Kaos games and encryption systems developer
No argument with you there. Otherwise, though, methinks you protest too much.
This ain't rocket surgery.
you're very sure of yourself, but, perhaps instead of assuming you know what you're talking about, you should put some weight into the thoughts of others, and do some research, as well.
from a dictionary, it appears you're cherry picking:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/atheism
it's also rather evident your 'definition' which supposedly "fact" is blatantly wrong. you might define it like that, but you shouldn't expect anyone else to understand you when you try to use words in your own special way. several of the dictionaries seem to disagree on the extent to which atheism extends its negativity, but wikipedia should be of help:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atheism#Definitions_and_distinctions
it means disbelief in god or gods. that's nothing to do with belief that gods don't exist. I'm not sure how "without god" says anything conclusively about that.
As a matter of fact, I didn't assume anything. To be sure I was right, I looked it up in the nearest dictionary at hand, the Oxford American Dictionary.
Wrong? Damn, those guys at Oxford are gonna be pissed...
What's so special about the way I used it? You're doing nothing but splitting semantical hairs here in an attempt to support a point of view that's unsupportable.
Boy, talk about using words in a special way. That seems totally self-contradictory to me.
Seems plain enough--an atheist is "without god." If you don't get that, then that's your problem.
This ain't rocket surgery.
I'm not sure what your problem is. it's very simple. you are cherry-picking entries from your dictionary and then using it to support your claim. the sad thing is, though, that, even if you're right (and you're not; it's debated, as the resources I linked outline rather clearly), it still doesn't support your claim.
let's assume you are right about all of your silly definitions. so an atheist is "without god." what does that have to do with either belief, disbelief, or lack of belief? what does that have to do with atheism claiming "there is no god" (your words)? if you can tell me that, then you're the best spinster in history (or perhaps a lawyer). you behave like a conspiracy theorist, stringing together disparate "facts" to make it seem like you're saying something (when you aren't).
and taking all of that into account, my original point stands: most people who identify as atheists seem to subscribe to a weaker form, so even if you're right about everything in history and you're Noah Webster, himself, you're being dishonest. I really doubt that there are very many people who are strong atheists. I'd love to see some evidence either way.
What claim are you referring to here? I think that the only thing I've claimed in response to your post is that the word "atheist" means "without god," which I supported with etymology from the Oxford American Dictionary. The full text of the OAD's definition was "the theory or belief (italics mine) that God does not exist." If you have an argument with that, perhaps you should take it up with them. I will admit that I failed stated my source in that post, for which I apologize.
How about the following, a direct copy-and-paste from the Wikipedia article to which you provided the link:That seems pretty clear-cut to me.I'd say the guy to whom my initial post was aimed is certainly one. Check back on some of his replies to my post and I think you'll agree. In any case, what you're saying about strong atheists vs weak atheists is really pretty much what I was trying to get at in the first place when I responded to the guy's .sig that bashed agnostics. I was just tweaking him a bit, pointing out that his form of strong atheism was just as much a belief system (hence my italics in the OAD definition) as any religion. I'm a bit dismayed that the whole thing has gotten out of hand.
This ain't rocket surgery.
"after 50 years everybody will totally forget you."
...
So? It's our genes that scream for immortality. It doesn't mean that we should.