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Space Station Toilets Poop Out
otter42 writes "The International Space Station's toilet has gone kaput. It seems that the system for separating solid and liquid waste has developed a fault. 'Solids' go where they're supposed to, but 'liquids' don't. The astronauts have bypassed the '"the troublesome hardware" for urine collection with a "special receptacle."' Something tells me they're glad the failure wasn't the other way around." Update: 05/28 21:54 GMT by T : According to a post on Engadget, the toilet's now been repaired.
. . . Space Station poops on you!
Why is this thus? What is the reason for this thusness?
A NASA status report noted that last week, while using the toilet system in the Russian-built service module, âoethe crew heard a loud noise and the fan stopped working.â The solid waste collector is functioning properly, but the system for collecting liquid waste was not.
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
...to boldly go where no man has gone before.
Any jokes about the Captain's Log will be flushed out by the moderation system...
This space station is a piece of shit. And that pisses me off.
Can't they just piss out the window ?
$.02 says the 'special receptacle' is a Nalgene bottle
I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
... I don't understand plumbing, either.
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
Well that sounds pretty shitty.
This guy's the limit!
The good news is that we're about to send another shuttle up, maybe they can throw some parts in.
But they only have one toilet up there? I mean, sure it's not a "Criticality One" component, but you'd think that would be a good candidate for redundancy.
#naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
What's to understand?
1:)Crap rolls down hill.
2:)The boss is a jerk.
3:)Payday is Friday.
Don't blame me for redundant posts. I can't type very fast. Hence the user ID.
My father could be running NASA. I'm sure they wouldn't happy to hear they'd have to hold it until they got home.
Why is the shit separated from the piss? Is it because the piss will just fly all over the place due to the lack of gravity? If that's the case, I hope nobody has diarrhea :)
Dixy cup.
Are they going to relieve themselves in little plastic baggies? And will there be the temptation to take these baggies out on spacewalks, wait until the appropriate continent swings around and let 'em fly? Man, the pigeons will be looking up to these astronauts as gods.
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
I always knew this would be the number one problem with space travel...
Get it, number one problem!
Thank you, and don't forget to tip you waitress
With Discovery going up in about a week, engineers are looking to fly up some parts. This, however, may be problematic considering the Japanese module that is being lifted by the orbiter is already so massive (~30000 pounds) that some sensors inside the orbiter with relation to the boom arm had to be removed for it to fit. If there is a significant amount of parts, it simply may not be possible to place inside the orbiter during countdown given the size of its current payload and the number of balance/fuel/weight calculations that would have to be done.
Let me guess... A two-liter Mountain Dew bottle which they'll later just throw out the window, right? Because I've soooo been there, man!
Chelloveck
I give up on debugging. From now on, SIGSEGV is a feature.
"Who modded this informative? Whoever it is must've been smokin' some of that martian pot!"
Quite possibly NASA's first ever major problem that not even the magical duct tape could save the day.
Now watch, we'll read tomorrow about them making a new makeshift toilet with duct tape...
I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
The U.S. media treats the Russian space program like it were some bunch of morons building substandard machinery. But who did WE rely on to take us into space when our great space shuttle was reduced to bits and pieces? Who has a MUCH lower fatality rate and a MUCH higher rocket success rate?
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
I can't help it. My first reaction (and I am sure other peoples too) was what if an astronaut gets diarrhhea or gastroenteritis? suddenly opening the window would really look like a viable escape strategy. "Apollo bags" seems like an acceptable (albeit ghastly) short term solution.
We may be rational, sensible people but scatological subjects will always affect us badly.
I mean I've peed in a bottle while driving 75MPH down the interstate, so it's probably possible to pee in a jar or the like while going 18000MPH around the Earth.
Better watch out for that sewer gas the next time the Shuttle arrives...
"Urine trouble now!"
Editor Emeritus and Senior Writer, TeleRead.org
Shit happens. ;)
Actually, I understand there's two astronauts and one cup.
"I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
The creator of this post (Jacob Smith) hereby releases it, and all of his other posts, into the public domain.
Amazing how many euphemisms there are for "Shop Vac" these days!
Paleotechnologist and connoisseur of pretty shiny things.
According to what I remember reading somewhere, the correct name for this highly-advanced portajohn is the 0 gee whizz...
"Here's what's happening. You're starting to drive like your Dad..." - Red Green
This is in the Russian part of the station. My guess is they need to pour some vodka on it.
You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.
-- Colonel Adolphus Busch
And people, this is a good example of why giving Ritalin to all our third-graders might not be the greatest idea...
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
did you really -have- to say that?
I'm barfing all over again thinking about it.
how much does a licensed plumber charge for a service call to low earth orbit?
This could blow the budget for both the Moon and Mars!
One of our competitors trademarked the term "hypothesis". From now on, we will call them "boneheaded ideas".
...but do astronauts really need a machine to separate solid wastes from liquid ones? Can't they just piss in one place and shit in another? Seriously now...they can get to the moon, fly a rocket, and conduct experiments in no gravity, but they can't freakin' shit in one place and piss in another? And they don't always have to shit in a toilet full of water, either...that would certainly help separate solids from liquids. I never cease to be amazed by the stupidity of smart people.
I got a million of 'em.
Okay, I've got two. But hey, you take what you can get...
If it's yellow let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.
The astronauts can still do this. No emergency yet!
Space Station Toilets Piss Off
My ism, it's full of beliefs.
4:) Don't bite your fingernails.
Remember "News for Nerds, Stuff that Matters"? Help make it a reality again! http://soylentnews.org
There's no reason one can't use the cup and the other can't use the sink. I'm sure there's a cubby hole that could serve as a back alley.
I knew there was one I forgot. Good thing I don't do plumbing. I grew up doing electrical work, dad is/was a master electrician, retired.
Don't blame me for redundant posts. I can't type very fast. Hence the user ID.
New Rule: Stop putting paper towels in the toilet.
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
The fluid in the glass jars lining the walls of the module? It's not the fresh new flavour from Snapple.
Too bad. A buffer overflow in the main toilet. I can smell core-dumps.
Since the toilet is such an important part of the system, why not build a redundant one? Redundant Array of Inexpensive Toilets?
BTW. According to TFA there's still a toilet available in the Soyuz spaceship attached to the station. However that one was not as easy to use.
Colorless green Cthulhu waits dreaming furiously.
I'm proud of my Northern Tibetian Heritage
You want your crew alive ? You have to make sure some life support system works. That includes fresh air and temperature control. But that also includes, food supplies, sleeping bags and toilets. but you'd think that would be a good candidate for redundancy. Yup. What will be the next news ? The only microwave oven / food rehydration appliance of the whole station died ?
"Sufficiently advanced satire is indistinguishable from reality." - [Tips: 1DrYakQDKCQ6y52z6QbnkxHXAocMZJE61o ]
Non-Linux Penguins ?
intercept message from space: :cluck cluck cluck cluck :sound stops:) -Holy Shiiit! Oh well, At least its cleaner than the ones at Walmart
..."
(repetitive machine noises getting louder as if something were about to break down
Hey Jimmy, did you manage to smuggle that vodka bottle of yours??
-yep
update intecept, 1 minute ago:
-"Ok pressing this and it should be fixed now
- No Jimmy! that's the wrong flush button!!!... (KABOOM).
No carrier.
Massive corn clog in port seven!
karma: ouch!
No Sh*t. There goes another million dollars. What do they have for a contingency plan? P*ssin in the wind, or lack therof?
It's just like working with electronics, in fact.
* make sure both surfaces are clean (use a wire brush if needed)
* heat both surfaces to just the right temp
* allow the solder to wick up into the gap by capillary action
note: might be a good idea to use lead-free solder...
Can you be Even More Awesome?!
if it were the other way around, would the shit be hitting the fan? or is the shit hitting the fan now?
Plumbing and electrical work certainly wouldn't be the best combination ;)
which is totally what she said
Just replace the flange and wax ring. Sheesh!
are recyclin' the urine.
don't flush the condom
A floater.
Sorry, had to be said.
IX CCXLIX XVII II CLVII CXVI CCXXVII XCI CCXVI LXV LXXXVI CXCVII XCIX LXXXVI CXXXVI CXCII
http://www.prometheus-music.com/audio/comfortsofhome.mp3
The Comforts of Home
--------------------
I don't care if the ship's high tech.
I don't care if it has a holodeck.
I don't care if there's life support.
Okay I guess I need the life support.
But anything beyond that, I don't care,
As long as there's a place somewhere a man can go.
[SNIP]
And even though your guts may ache
I know that you will make it
So you'll find a place to go
Right into space.
Who checks the air locks anyhow?
A million years from now it may reach home.
-- SandraL
Although it's gotten a little better over time, submarine warships are basically 300 foot long sewer pipes. After reading through the process of inboard venting the sanitary tank back in the day, I'm glad they didn't offer Smell O' Round VR for Das Boot.
Someone needs to bring down an ISS air sample for someone in NAVSEA to evaluate for pungency.
Luke, help me take this mask off
the term "special receptacle" sounds a lot like "peeing in an empty beer bottle" to me. ;-)
This is the kind of problems humans will face everyday while exploring the universe. Not the plasma-shields, warp reactors and all that pasteurized crap you see in today's sci-fi movies and novels.
And remember. In space, no one can hear you fart.
If it was Russian, I'm sure you could fix it with a kick in the right place.
Then again, if it was American, it sure would have a backup system. And let's be GLAD there's no backup, at least!
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
How can you even crap in space? Doesn't it come right back at you? Or do you have to do a head stand?
Is the ISS now littered with piss jugs like when Ray was living in his old truck in the Sunnyvale trailer park?
the good ground has been paved over by suicidal maniacs
That must be NASA'iren for a bottle....
News Headline: Phoenix's greatest discovery
The Mars Phoenix Lander just found water on mars. due to a NASA official, the water contains some particles which are guessed to be Organic Cells!!! The water was found in some kind of bag which he says was made of plastic, and it's the sign of a civilized life on Mars.
There is also a video which shows NASA guys clap and hug each other at the time of this great success!!!
Just send out the Canadia to fix the problem!
Dog, monkey or rat?
The Intergalactic Laxative - Words & Music by: Donovan Leitch - 1973
I was impressed like everyone,When man began to fly,
Out of earthly regions,To planets in the sky.
With total media coverage,We watched the heros land,
As ceremoniously they disturbed the cosmic sand.
In awe with admiration,We listened to the talk.
Such pride felt they,Such joy to be upon the moon to walk.
My romantic vision shattered,When it was explained to me,
Spacemen wear old diapers in which they shit and pee.
Oh, the intergalactic laxative,Will get you from here to there.
Relieve you and believe me,Without a worry or care.
If shitting is your problem,When you're out there in the stars,
Oh, the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to Mars.
They don't partake like you and I,Of beefy burger mush.
Their food is specially prepared to dissolve into slush.
Absorbed by multi-fibers in the super diaper suit,
Otherwise the slush would trickle down inside the boot.
Oh, the intergalactic laxative,Will get you from here to there.
Relieve you and believe me,Without a worry or care.
If shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars,
Oh, the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to Mars.
You may well ask now what becomes of liquid they consume.
A pipe is led from penis head to a unit in the room.
The water is recirculated,Filtered for re-use.
In case of anti-gravity - Pee gets on the loose.
Oh, the intergalactic....... to Mars.
Wherever man has conquered,On the quest for frontiers new,
I'm glad that he's always had to do the number one and two.
It makes it all so ordinary,Just like you and me,
To know the greatest heroes,They had to shit and pee.
Oh, the intergalactic....... to Mars.
da da da dum indeed.