Slashdot Mirror
George Carlin Dead of Heart Failure
ashamanq was one of many who noted that comedian
George Carlin has died of heart failure. Most famous for his "Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV" routine which resulted in a landmark supreme court ruling, he was a true voice against censorship, and also one of the funniest men ever. He was 71.
I think he's up there now, smiling down at us.
A philosopher who was funny...he will be missed. (lifts glass) Cheers, TFG
He's just gone into the future to the time when the Wyld Stallyns music forms the basis of society.
We held a little ceremony here before. Carlin was a truly great man. A voice against censorship and generally against rampant stupidity as well.
May his memory live long and someone crop up and continue on in his great tradition of telling the 'system' to go fuck itself.
I drink to make other people interesting!
speak for yourself buddy...
_I_ still appreciate tits.
Tits is now depreciated.
Only your mom's are.You will be missed, pal.
"In the Bullshit Department, a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. 'Cause I gotta tell you the truth, folks. When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.
Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you.
He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!"
-George Carlin
"Get 'on' the plane, get 'on' the plane..."
"Fuck you, I'm getting *IN* the plane."
I started listening to "Class Clown" in 3rd or 4th grade. I always liked his insight, even if he did seem to get quit bitter over the past few years. I always liked his take on growing up in Morningside Heights. He always said that saying you were from a place like Morningside Heights would get you beat up, so he liked to say he was from "White Harlem."
His routine on "Shell Shock vs. Post Traumatic Stress-Disorder" rings very true.
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
Temperature at the airport is 73......which is stupid 'cause I don't know anyone that lives at the airport..."
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
I thought he was funny 20 years ago when he was topical. In his recent stuff, I just saw him as a bitter old hippy, taking cheap pot shots at the Republican establishment. I saw no humor or insight, just a bunch of cursing, whining, and hypocrisy. The early stuff, the routines that made his reputation, were outstandingly funny.
Chaos maximizes locally around me.
I had to convince my girlfriend a few weeks ago that we should get tickets because he's one person I would really like to see before he, ahmen, dies. So we spent ~$160 for great ticket to see him at the Chicago theater on Oct. 11. I have no more words for this.
Creationists are a lot like zombies. Slow, but powerful and numerous. And they all want to eat our brains.
With nothing but contempt for modern humanity and politics, I highly doubt he'd want anyone to mourn.
So I'll tell it like it is.
Today an great man died.
He was a foul-mouthed rat-bastard hippy conspiracy theorist.
May his soul be blessed by whoever gives a damn.
I think when his wife died it really changed him and his routines. I still found him funny, but he came off very angry.
I'm tired of television announcers, hosts, newscaster, and commentators, nibbling away at the English language, making obvious and ignorant mistakes. If I were in charge of America's broadcast stations and networks, I would gather together all the people whose jobs include speaking to the public, and I would not let them out of the room until they had absorbed the following suggestions. I'm aware that media personalities are not selected on the basis of intelligence. I know that, and I try to make allowances for it. Believe me, I really try. But still ⦠There are some liberties taken with speech that I think require intervention, if only for my own sake. I won't feel right if this chance goes by, and I keep my silence.
The English word forte, meaning "specialty" or "strong point," is not pronounced "for-tay." Got that? It is pronounced "fort." The Italian word forte, used in music notation, is pronounced "for-tay," and it instructs the musician to play loud: "She plays the skin flute, and her forte [fort] is playing forte [for-tay]." Look it up. And don't give me that whiny shit, "For-tay is listed as the second preference." There's a reason it's second: because it's not first!
Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence. If two baseball palyers from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father's it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence. Irony is "a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result." For instance:
* If a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck, he is the victim of an accident. If the truck was delivering sugar, he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence. But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah! Then he is the victim of an irony.
* If a Kurd, after surviving bloody battle with Saddam Hussein's army and a long, difficult escape through the mountains, is crushed and killed by a parachute drop of humanitarian aid, that, my friend, is irony writ large.
* Darryl Stingley, the pro football player, was paralyzed after a brutal hit by Jack Tatum. Now Darryl Stingley's son plays football, and if the son should become paralyzed while playing, it will not be ironic. It will be coincidental. If Darryl Stingley's son paralyzes someone else, that will be closer to ironic. If he paralyzes Jack Tatum's son that will be precisely ironic.
I'm tired of hearing prodigal being used to mean "wandering, given to running away or leaving and returning." The parable in the Book of Luke tells of a son who squanders his father's money. Prodigal means "recklessly wasteful or extravagant." And if you say popular usage has changed that, I say, fuck popular usage!
The phrase sour grapes does not refer to jealousy or envy. Nor is it related to being a sore loser. It deals with the rationalization of failure to attain a desired end. In the original fable by Aesop, "The Fox and the Grapes," when the fox realizes he cannot leap high enough to reach the grapes, he rationalizes that even if he had gotten them, they would probably have been sour anyway. Rationalization, that's all sour grapes means. It doesn't mean deal with jealousy or sore losing. Yeah, I know you say, "Well many people are using it that way, so the meaning is changing." And I say, "Well many people are really fuckin' stupid too, shall we just adopt all their standards?"
Strictly speaking, celibate does not mean not having sex, it means not being married. No wedding. The practice of refraining from sex is called chastity or sexual abstinence. No fucking. Priests don't take a vow of celibacy, they take a vow of chastity. Sometimes referred to as the "no-nookie clause."
And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was concieved in the
The last 8 years have made a lot of us angry. He's hardly alone.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Well fuck. Who's going to call everyone on their bullshit now?
And suddenly, Jon Stewart feels millions of expecting gazes turn towards him, as he mutters unto himself "Oh, fuck."Those who believe the Internet is private,
find their privates are on the Internet.
Carlin's classic material tended to rant about things he hated, with the implication that he - and those who agree with him - are superior.
Only the insecure feel the need to apologize for other people's inadequacies.
Here is a cookie.
"Action without philosophy is a lethal weapon; philosophy without action is worthless."
"Two minutes... get your shit together..."
May he rest in peace.
Proverbs 21:19
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Build it, and they will come^Hplain.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
He's moved on, departed from the Big Electron. He was a giant and will be missed. I have taken one of his phrases to heart:
"Think about how stupid the average person is. Now, realise that half of them are dumber than that."
RIP Mr Carlin.
Don't get me wrong, I loved Carlin all my life, but one of the things that was pissing him off lately was the fact that people weren't questioning government or religion as much as they used to be, and by all measure, things are getting worse.
Maybe this shock will wake up some people. Maybe the inevitable memorials will spark a renewal of the rebellious spirit.
I only hope so.
As a fellow atheist, I have come to accept that people only live on as the effect they've had on the world. For a relatively brief time in history, the world had a great jester and poet, lets all take time to remember him in or lives.
Penn and Teller
Keep it funny... here's another random quote: "If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?"
--George Carlin
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
-George Carlin, Life Is Worth Losing, Beacon Theater, HBO
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
"But I do mean that. I mean, I think the word fuck is an important word. It's the beginning of life, and, yet it's a word we use to hurt one other, quite often. And uh, people much wiser than I have said, I'd rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one other. And I of course agree. I wish I know who said it first, and I agree with that. But I would like to take it a step further. I would like to substitute the word fuck, for the word kill in all those movie cliches we grew up with.
'Okay Sheriff, we're gonna fuck ya now. But we're gonna fuck ya slow.'
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
Depreciation: assets with finite lives lose value over time.
Deprecated: features that are superseded and should be avoided.
Q: What does an 80-year-old have between her tits that an 18-yer-old doesn't?
A: Her bellybutton.
Sounds to me like tits are assets with finite lives that lose their value over time ...
Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun
This would be shitty news to wake up to any day, but it's even worse on your birthday.
Along with Bill Hicks, George Carlin was my absolute favorite comedian. What they did was much more than just comedy, though. The reason I loved George so much, just as with Bill, was because, in the process of making you laugh so hard, they also made you think. George had the ability to make you see how ridiculous certain things really were, even if you didn't want to.
So long, George. You're irreplaceable.
"We may face a scorched and lifeless earth, but they're accountable to their shareholders first."
"69 with two fingers up your ass"
I'm new wave, but I'm old school and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive and from time to time I'm radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I'm on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I've got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!
I've got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up. You can't dumb me down because I'm tireless and I'm wireless, I'm an alpha male on beta-blockers.
I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I'm a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I've got a love-child that sends me hate mail.
But, I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the "F" word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I'm toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I've got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I'm hangin in, there ain't no doubt and I'm hangin tough, over and out!"
--George Carlin
And now...he's gone.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........