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LHC Success!

Tomahawk writes "It worked! The LHC was turned on this morning and has been shown to have worked. Engineers cheered as the proton particles completed their first circuit of the underground ring which houses the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). (And we're all still alive, too!)" Here is a picture from the control room which I'm sure makes sense to someone that isn't me.

51 of 1,007 comments (clear)

  1. Epic fail by ZeroFactorial · · Score: 5, Funny

    What you don't realize is that everything around the LHC is being converted into strange matter.

    It started with the scientists, so noone has noticed anything different yet.

    1. Re:Epic fail by tgd · · Score: 4, Funny

      This place has been full of strange matter for a decade now ...

  2. Picture to prove it by ccguy · · Score: 3, Funny

    "It worked! The LHC was turned on this morning and has been shown to have worked"

    Here'sproof.

  3. Re:More than scientific learning by fprintf · · Score: 5, Funny

    It was a triumph, I'm making a note here, huge success!

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  4. Based on the images... by Adreno · · Score: 3, Funny

    Based on the images released thus far, I've come to the conclusion that a team of well-trained monkeys working exclusively in MS-Paint are close to modeling the stock market. In unrelated news, the head scientists at the LHC are planning their lavish retirement on Grand Cayman. More at 5.

  5. Damnit! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    You're all still here.

  6. Re:More than scientific learning by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 5, Funny

    will the doomsayers ever learn for the next time?

    Well, they still haven't made the black hole yet. Just wait. When you get sucked in don't come crying to me. I'll be many, many light years away.

  7. Re:BFD by neoform · · Score: 4, Funny

    Does this mean I'll have to build up another sigh of relief and let it out again at a later date?

    --
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  8. Re:More than scientific learning by AKAImBatman · · Score: 4, Funny

    this time, its different, the world is really going to end this time

    Honestly, my take is this. If the LHC guys really do manage to destroy the universe in some science shattering stranglet experiment, well...

    That would be rather impressive. It's just too bad no one would be around to bear witness to the fact. ;-)

    Or to put it in the context of Stargate...

    Carter: He destroyed a solar system.
    Jeannie: MEREDITH!

  9. Realtime LHC Data by Khakionion · · Score: 4, Funny

    http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com

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    OMG! Wau!
  10. Re:More than scientific learning by AioKits · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... will the doomsayers ever learn for the next time? Probably not. I'm sure next time they'll say "this time, its different, the world is really going to end this time".

    Don't knock the doomsayers man! When they think the world is going to end, they start selling (never understood this? The world is gonna end! My couch for $20! Just in case I need to pay a toll on the way to the afterlife..) or giving away all their stuff! I need a new couch so I hope they get all spooked. If I'm lucky, one will have been a gadget nerd and I can get some computer parts too!

    --
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  11. Anyone there? by meist3r · · Score: 4, Funny
  12. Re:More than scientific learning by Frekko · · Score: 5, Funny

    Alien species are certainly going to take pictures of that and add the words EPIC FAIL on top.

  13. Re:More than scientific learning by neoform · · Score: 5, Funny

    Pass the c-

    What do you mean all the cake is gone?

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    MABASPLOOM!
  14. Coincidence? by lymond01 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Has anyone seen my cat?

  15. Will you ever learn? by PinkyDead · · Score: 5, Funny

    If disaster movies have taught us anything, it is that only when the party is over and everyone is a little tipsy, the problems will arise.

    At that point, one lowly scientist (possible of Asian origin) will still be working in his office - despite regular calls of 'Hu! It's all fine, come out here and have some champagne'. He shouts out 'In a minute, I'm just checking something' Then to himself 'This is wrong. This is all wrong. Planck's constant shouldn't be varying like that.'

    And then it all goes wrong.

    Jeez, were you born yesterday!

    Mark my words... come Friday, we'll all be eating black holes for breakfast with lashings of superheated strange milk.

    --
    Genesis 1:32 And God typed :wq!
    1. Re:Will you ever learn? by KeatonMill · · Score: 5, Funny

      It's probably not a problem, probably, but I'm showing some variations in...

      No, it's well within acceptable limits. Sustaining sequence.

      Shutting down... Attempting shutdown... it's not, it's not shutting AGGGGHHHHH! ...yeah.

    2. Re:Will you ever learn? by complete+loony · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Gordon freeman, you're needed in the test chamber".

      --
      09F91102 no, 455FE104 nope, F190A1E8 uh-uh, 7A5F8A09 that's not it, C87294CE no. Ah! 452F6E403CDF10714E41DFAA257D313F.
  16. Re:More than scientific learning by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I thought they had already turned it on yesterday... Wait, today is September 10th... Again ?

  17. Re:More than scientific learning by Kamokazi · · Score: 4, Funny

    For the good of all of us!

    (Except the ones who are dead.)

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  18. Re:16 bit colour? by aapold · · Score: 3, Funny

    How can they spend £2.6 billion and have control screens that look like a ZX spectrum?

    The control screens are high-res, 32-million colors. The 16-bit colors you see are a side effect of the LHC Process. The effect started there and has been spreading outwards... they said not to worry, that we won't know the difference once it hits.

    --
    "Waste not one watt!" - CZ
  19. Still alive? by richie2000 · · Score: 4, Funny

    > And we're all still alive too!

    I'm not, you insensitive clod!

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  20. Re:Of course we're still alive... by Shakrai · · Score: 4, Funny

    Can I help? ;)

    --
    I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
    We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
  21. Re:Based on the control room shot... by genner · · Score: 5, Funny

    It appears that turning on the LHC is transforming the world as we know it into the nightmare world of Linux on the Desktop...

    If that were true they would of called it Hardy Hadron.

  22. Re:More than scientific learning by objekt · · Score: 3, Funny

    We await the results of the test with couched enthusiasm!

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    -- Boycott Shell
  23. Re:More than scientific learning by iapetus · · Score: 4, Funny

    And the ones who lost their bets with Stephen Hawking about whether they'd find the Higgs Boson.

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  24. Re:you can't stop the doomsayers by should_be_linear · · Score: 5, Funny

    Exactly, I am in Geneve right now, so the first wh

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  25. Re:More than scientific learning by MadCow42 · · Score: 5, Funny

    >> ... will the doomsayers ever learn for the next time? Probably not. I'm sure next time they'll say "this time, its different, the world is really going to end this time".

    The doomsayers only need to be right once... :)

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  26. Re:More than scientific learning by digitalgiblet · · Score: 4, Funny

    There's no use crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake.

  27. Re:More than scientific learning by n+dot+l · · Score: 5, Funny

    That does it. I'm tagging this story 'stillalive'.

  28. Re:Congrats. by Hal_Porter · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's always nice to see complex engineering projects that work. It gives the impression that theory and reality are getting closer.

    Theory and reality are the same, at least in theory.

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  29. Re:Shuts down for the winter? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    looks like my old driving instructor was right: in winter time you should go easy on the accelerator

  30. Re:More than scientific learning by clone53421 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'll be many, many light years away.

    Infinitely many, in fact, if you haven't gotten sucked into the black hole yet.

    --
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  31. Nothing to worry about by MasterPuppeteer · · Score: 5, Funny

    After all, we're mostly harmless.



    But don't forget your towel... just in case.

  32. Oblig. Eddie Izzard by Kemanorel · · Score: 5, Funny

    Cake or death?

    Cake please.

    Sorry, we're all out of cake. We didn't expect to have such a run on it.

    Ok, I'll have the chicken then.

    Well... Ok. Good thing we're the Church of England.

    --
    Mess not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
  33. Re:More than scientific learning by click2005 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Fanboism apart, they haven't crossed the proton streams yet. The event that can generate the strangelets and the black hole.

    Yeah but they'll have to cross the streams if StayPuft attacks.

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  34. Re:More than scientific learning by omnipresentbob · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or: "Every time you masturbate, God destroys a planet" ...

  35. Re:Of course we're still alive... by confused+one · · Score: 4, Funny

    I don't know why, but you made me think of this:

    Dr. Egon Spengler: There is something very important I forgot to tell you.

    Dr. Peter Venkman: What?

    Dr. Egon Spengler: Do not cross the streams.

    Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?

    Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.

    Dr. Peter Venkman: I am fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, bad?

    Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

    Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.

    Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That is bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

  36. Re:More than scientific learning by complete+loony · · Score: 5, Funny
    --
    09F91102 no, 455FE104 nope, F190A1E8 uh-uh, 7A5F8A09 that's not it, C87294CE no. Ah! 452F6E403CDF10714E41DFAA257D313F.
  37. ...and the answer is...... by Joce640k · · Score: 4, Funny

    ..... is .... 42!

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  38. Re:More than scientific learning by Experiment+626 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yes, it is September 10th again. You are caught in a time loop. The last time through, the world was destroyed by a black hole. This time, you have again failed to stop the activation, so the same thing will happen. At this point you will wake up 24 hours before the LHC is activated, and realize that you alone can save humanity. To do so you must get to the Swiss/French border and blow the thing to smithereens before it can be turned on.

    The presence of this post is of course a major plot hole / deus ex machina, but is necessary to move the storyline along and keep you from going through the time loop fifty times before figuring it all out, as this would make your adventure far too long and repetitive for the people of my alternate universe to enjoy watching footage of.

  39. Re:More than scientific learning by Knara · · Score: 5, Funny

    Kids, take note. This is what happens to your typing, grammar, and spelling when you sniff too much glue.

  40. Re:More than scientific learning by torqer · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm setting up a standing wager. I'm offering 20 to 1 that the world doesn't get sucked into a black hole. So any takers on the world being destroyed? Your chance to turn $100 into $2000.

  41. Re:More than scientific learning by teko_teko · · Score: 5, Funny
  42. Sure, were not dead - but by Lars+T. · · Score: 3, Funny

    Now I'm stuck in this alternative reality where George W. Bush is President?

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  43. Re:More than scientific learning by Joe+the+Lesser · · Score: 4, Funny

    Then the science gets done and you make a neat supercollider for the people who are still alive!

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  44. Re:Sucked in.... by shaitand · · Score: 3, Funny

    Thats the new secretary, it might be worth exploring what else she sucks in.

  45. Re:you can't stop the doomsayers by ShadowRangerRIT · · Score: 4, Funny

    Gravity.

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  46. Total Perspective Vortex by k1e0x · · Score: 3, Funny

    What do you mean all the cake is gone?

    fairy cake.. yeah we had to use it for the LHC.

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  47. Re:More than scientific learning by jjm496 · · Score: 3, Funny

    hmm...but who will be left to finally use the tag "told you so"?

  48. Re:LHC isn't running. by bckrispi · · Score: 4, Funny

    For the second test, we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an "unsatisfactory" mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!

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