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No Space Porn (For Now)
With the entry to sub-orbital flight, and even orbital flight, becoming ever so slightly easier, the obvious thought of space porn kicks in. Who wouldn't want to see two or more people going at it like rabbits in a weightless environment (or at least trying to go at it like rabbits in a weightless environment)? Sadly, Virgin Galactic has turned down a $1 million offer to do just that. The offer was made by an unidentified party who was willing to put the money up front to do a space porn movie. Considering that a flight aboard VG costs $200,000 for a two-hour flight, $1 million doesn't seem too bad. Though how much you could actually do and perform in two hours is debatable. And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?
Two girls, one spaceship.
There was a time when sex was interesting. Now it's just boring.
"And the meaning of words; when they cease to function; when will it start worrying you?"
You'd be done by liftoff.
Think of the mess that a facial would make in zero-G environments...the whole ship would be all sticky.
Zero-G-Spot
Life is not for the lazy.
>And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?
This is porn, right? You could write that into the script!
Thank you Dave Raggett
then it'd just be recategorized at the site/store
Virgin Galactic would have to change it's name!
"Bang 9 From Outer Space"
When you shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
They have two hours...this is enough time to film 3-4 movies!
#1 develop private space flight
#2 include sex
#3 PROFIT!
Why not just use a zero-G environment on the ground?
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
Rule 34 will eventually prevail.
Though how much you could actually do and perform in two hours is debatable.
well, if it's anyone for the crowd around here they would only need 3-4 seconds, that is if they know what intercourse is already.
"how much you could actually do and perform in two hours is debatable"
Are you kidding me? 10 minutes should be enough for everyone!
"The agriculture ministry is not in charge of Gundam" - Japanese ministry official.
New tag: idlehasnopants
UTF-8: There and Back Again
Just think of it... simple doggy-style thrusting will make the woman run into the wall, cumshots will be a bitch to catch... I sure would love to see how hard it is for a woman to stay in the cowgirl position - she might need some handles to hang onto.
They can make weightless porn in a parabolic flight (the vomit comet) in front of a green screen. After that, adding a space background is piece of cake. Much cheaper than $1,000,000. Shit, have I just disclosed the best business plan on earth.
\u262D = \u5350
Zero-Gzmo?
Oh, yeah, it's not easy to pad these out to 120 characters.
Unless you're running Vista
Engineering is the art of compromise.
"And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?
two fetishes covered in one movie!
Vomit Comit
Most of what they do is faked anyhow, wouldn't $1,000,000 buy enough flights in the vomit comet to make a film? Sure you couldn't do it all in one take, but hey, that's what editing is for.
This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
The concept is just plain gross, and not because it's a porno. It's due to the fact that you'd literally have bodily fluids being ejected from the human body without the physical constraints we have here on earth. That means the entire interior of the craft this is was filmed in would like resemble a Jackson pollock painting under one of those black lights they use in sensationalist news reports about how gross motel rooms are.
"I can feel them moving!" - Peter Griffin
8==8 Bones 8==8
unaware of Rule 34?
http://xkcd.com/305/
I call Rule 34; zero-g porn has already been done, utilising parabolic flight aircraft;
http://www.space.com/sciencefiction/movies/uranus_experiment_000516.html
Surprise surprise, the title is 'The Uranus Experiment'.
Although the flight may take two hours, the article says passengers are only weightless for about five minutes. Even with velcro suits, I imagine it would take considerably longer than that just to figure out how to get the damn thing done.
Does anyone know of any husband/wife pairs that have been in space together? Although they would not be the only ones who would have sex in space, they might be the only ones who would admit to it... Does anyone know if astronauts are hooking up in space at all? Does NASA have policies on this?
Sex at zero-gravity must be done so that the two partners are bound to each other in such a way as if they were a wooden paddle and a pink rubber ball tied by a string. I can't think of it in any other way..
More people may be added so that we have a human-representation of Newton's Cradle in effect.
I am very eager to masturbate to this idea.
A movie version of Ben Bova's "Zero Gee", or better still, the whole Kinsman saga, would have been great.
I'm guessing there'll be a few false starts in the space porn field.
The first examples are likely to be more humorous than erotic.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
2 hours isn't a problem. Porn movies aren't really known for their epic length. Well, not in minutes, anyway.
And so what if some actors get sick? You just make a different movie. There's an audience for everything (disturbingly)!
Moo.
"And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?"
There's a niche for anything when it comes to porn.
Slartibartfast:"Is that your robot?"
Marvin:"No, I'm mine."
I think the Girls Gone Wild crew has already applied Rule 34 to weightlessness...
At least I've seen so late nights on Comedy Central.
-=/\- Jizzbug -/\=-
First, the flight may be two hours, but the weightless period isn't -- it's under ten minutes, maybe more like 5 (I haven't looked at their numbers recently). Also note that it's $200k on an 8-seat (6 passengers) craft -- so the normal fee for the whole craft would be $1.2M. He's offered less than the nominal price, for what is certainly a lot of extra work by Virgin and may have adverse effects on their publicity (or maybe positive, but I'm not the one making that judgement).
Also, we don't yet know whether they'll be requiring pressure suits. The craft has a double pressure hull, but that still means there are common mode failures possible. Originally Rutan said the double hull meant no pressure suits, but that was at a time when it wasn't clear that affordable pressure suits existed. As companies like Orbital Outfitters have begun to show that they can supply rental suits at reasonable prices (a few $k per person per flight -- custom tailoring included), Rutan has talked about maybe using pressure suits. Last I heard, the issue wasn't fully decided yet. If they do use pressure suits, they may be reluctant to allow unsuited passengers even at a price premium. (Note that the suit would be worn unpressurized with the visor up as long as cabin pressure held. I've seen the suits, and while they're not as lightweight as a t-shirt, they aren't bad either. We're not talking about Apollo-type space suits or anything.)
Then there's the regulatory headache. The craft will be an experimental aircraft, not a certificated one, and the tourists will be spaceflight participants, not passengers. The distinction may be semantic, but it's a very important one. Flying for commercial purposes rather than tourism may make it more difficult to get FAA/AST approval for the flight. If so, that would be a deal breaker regardless of any other concerns.
I've interned with XCOR Aerospace (a competitor of Scaled's); while none of this should be taken as official XCOR policy, I would be surprised if Scaled, XCOR, or anyone else was willing to do this any time soon. The headaches in safety, regulation, PR, and logistics are just too large, especially with no financial incentive. (Note that this would be difficult in XCOR's Lynx, as there's only one passenger and they don't get to remove their seatbelt.)
All of that said... I think it's wonderful to see this much interest in commercial spaceflight. I'd also love to see some space porn, if only to laugh my ass off at the awkwardness. I'm sure they'll find a way to do it eventually, and I hope it's sooner rather than later.
Robert Bigelow, Space Gigolo!
Just as well he already works in space.
/obvious
Sure this topic is somewhat funny but is it really worth being on front page?
Considering that a flight aboard VG costs $200,000 for a two-hour flight, $1 million doesn't seem too bad. Though how much you could actually do and perform in two hours is debatable. And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?
I think the PR side effects would cost more than what they make in profit.
According to an article in Wired, there has already been some Russian research done in this area:
From tfa
There are no dead man's sticks in space. And no matter how stressed anyone gets, they can't even enjoy a little release by manipulating their own joystick: One of the effects of weightlessness is reduced blood flow to the lower half of your body. The rumor in Star City is that many have tried in vain to get it up out there. "There vas top-secret program of this," Driga says. "But the man could not perform. Viagra vill not help."
So it may not be possible to perform in zero g, not enough blood flow to the lower extremities.
And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?
Then you sell your video to a different niche market. One that I really, really wish I'd never found out about. Eccch.
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a skull.
Then you sell your film in Japan.
Profit!
THE MAGIC WORDS ARE SQUEAMISH OSSIFRAGE
$1,100,000
Niche markets.
"These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined" --Homer re:
I seem to remember reading somewhere that it's extremely difficult (if not impossible) to get an erection during prolonged space flight.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14002908/
My favorite quote from TFA
Woodmansee said sex would be "the killer app of space tourism ... because every couple who goes up there, or threesome or whatever their personal choice is, is going to want to try this."
TFA :
Outer-space sex carries complications
... because every couple who goes up there, or threesome or whatever their personal choice is, is going to want to try this."
Experts say new devices and data would be needed to hit the zero-G-spot
By Alan Boyle
Science editor
updated 4:38 p.m. ET, Mon., July. 24, 2006
LAS VEGAS - Having sex in the weightlessness of outer space is the stuff of urban legends and romantic fantasy â" but experts say that there would be definite downsides as well.
Spacesickness, for instance. And the difficulty of choreographing intimacy. And the potential for sweat and other bodily fluids to, um, get in the way.
"The fantasy might be vastly superior to the reality," NASA physician Jim Logan said here Sunday at the Space Frontier Foundation's NewSpace 2006 conference. Nevertheless, Logan and others say the study of sex and other biological basics in outer space will be crucial to humanity's long-term push into the final frontier.
"Sex in space is not just a good idea, it's survival," said Vanna Bonta, a writer who blends romance with space travel and quantum physics in the novel "Flight."
Sex in the space environment has long been a source of rumor and speculation: Several years ago, one author claimed that NASA had conducted a study of sexual behavior during a space shuttle mission, sparking a quick round of denials. Today, NASA follows something of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy on the subject â" leading Logan to stress that he was not representing the space agency at Sunday's panel discussion.
The subject is coming to the fore again now for several reasons â" including next month's publication of a book by Laura Woodmansee titled "Sex in Space," as well as billionaire Robert Bigelow's plan to host research into animal propagation on his commercial space modules.
After all, sometime in the next decade Bigelow Aerospace envisions putting a hotel complex in orbit, "where people will probably be recreating and having sex," Bonta said.
Woodmansee said sex would be "the killer app of space tourism
However, off-Earth romantics will have to cope with some practical challenges:
# Sex in space would likely be "hotter and wetter" than on Earth, Bonta said, because in zero-G there is no natural convection to carry away body heat. Also, scientists have found that people tend to perspire more in microgravity. The moisture associated with sexual congress could pool as floating droplets.
# The physics of zero-G make the mechanics of sex more complicated. Bonta said it was challenging even to kiss her husband during a zero-G simulation flight they took recently. "You actually have to struggle to connect and stay connected," she recalled. Partners would have to be anchored to the wall and/or to each other. To address that need, Bonta has come up with her own design for garments equipped with strategically placed Velcro strips and zippers.
# Although zero-G could be a boon for saggy body parts, Bonta said males might notice a "slight decrease" in penis size due to the lower blood pressure that humans experience in microgravity.
# Romantics will also need to guard against the type of motion sickness that space travelers often encounter, especially if they get too adventurous right off. "Save the acrobatics for post-play vs. foreplay," Bonta advised.
For all these reasons, Logan said spontaneous sex in space could be "a little underwhelming."
"It's a pretty messy environment, when you think about it," he said. "And for every
I'm sure some of the nerds on this list could easily be done in 2 minutes. Even without girls.
... because a thrust will push someone away from you and send you flying forward
I mean its just basic physics youd have to get the actors tied down
Most Damage is done by people who are AWAKE
It was done in 1968 in Barbarella.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
They should have approached Slut Galactic.
As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
"Underwater is apperantly hazardous to women's heath."
I suppose you meant "health".
But, one could substitute "hearth", in which, given the topic now, could be her "oven".
Now, thinking of Alien, can we now say of Virgin Galactic's move, "In SPACE, no one will see you STREAM" (stream being whatever you want in the context here...).
As for dealing with the possibility of an actor coming down sick, plan ahead. Sex flights could be expensive, and messes (human discharge of various types) would be an onerous thing to clean up. So, contract out a job to design durable, ultra transparent bubbles. They can have vacuum hoses, intermittent water-washdown/wash-in, and air recycling. This could keep the air clean in the bubble, such the fluids out of the bubble, and keep it clean for the camera.
I remember listening to NPR a few weeks back, with two producers who are popular (damn me for i cannot recall the tv production of theirs that is VERY popular...), and both of whom started out in the porn industry, filming porn, that is.
One of them said, "If TV delivered the sense of smell as part of the product, no one would go watch another porn video again." He said that because he once had a shoot which lasted like 11 hours, and the set was FILLED with odors and messes of various sorts. Didn't say whether or not they considered or actually used fans to blow the farts and other odors off-set...
Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
In space no one can hear you scream!
When I first read the subject, I thought it said "No Space *For* Porn"!! :-o
Property is theft.
Two girls, one spacesuit. Make it transparent, please.
I thought you just wanted to stream live video from the VG ship as it went up and came back! I'd pay for that, and for views of the Earth from LEO. Add some girl on girl action to all of that and I'd never leave Home!
Behold, this dreamer cometh. Come now, and let us slay him... and we shall see what will become of his dreams.
Google the "uranus experiment"
Porn...in...spaaaaaaaccccccceeeeeeee!
"Without curiosity and knowledge, the mind is a vast void. Without the mind, curiosity and knowledge are nonexistent."
This is the third piece of shit from idle on the front page today. STOP IT!
...one space suit!
Market it to Japan.
At least a donkey punch can rid of the walk of shame..... she just wont be able to float back
If you read the story about Lord British in Cosmonaut camp, he said he was told by Russian authorities that a man can't get a woody in zero g. They tried and Viagra is of no use.
So close, and yet so far...
The amazing thing here is not your information, (which is actually pretty interesting), but the fact that you were able to squeeze it all through the stupid little keyhole-sized comment window on these dippy idle pages.
Maybe you were posting in micro-gravity.
-FL
2069: A Sex Odyssey
:q!
Obviously the submitter didn't RTFA
Normal intercourse is going to be difficult, without weight to overcome friction. I can see space bukkake being more likely, and even more disgusting than the earthbound variety.
The *knock* *knock* : "Pizza Man!" meme won't work any more.
The Virgin "two-hour" flight includes only "up to six minutes" of weightlessness. Its like a bigger version of the Vomit Comet. So you ain't going to have time to shoot a zero-G period drama. What else but pr0n in that time? With multiple camera angles and some slow-mo, you might stretch it to a 15-minute reel.
Had to look up "teabagged". Can't wait til Garg features this one.
The VG flight plan involves more like 10 minutes of weightlessness. Most of the two-hour flight is taking off attached to WhiteNightTwo, then rocketing up from that, and then gliding back down to landing.
A porno was made a few years back where they went up in the "Vomit Comet" plane to get some zero-G money shots.
no-one can hear you scream 'yes... yes... YES!!'
I think the real problem is that the money is too small for this sort of thing. Basically, they're going to take over a flight, it's going to require special gear, and such a film would probably be very popular.
Now, if that film maker were offering say, 10 million (or more), that might be enough to make it worthwhile for Virgin Galactic.
http://www.leiasmetalbikini.com/index.html
The entertainment aspect is interesting. However you have a big problem. Its called Newton's Third law of motion.
It is usually stated as: "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction."
Sex is a weightless environment won't work unless both partners are strapped into something to push against. We are used to having gravity assist us in reproducing. This is a big problem in exploring far away places like Mars and beyond. How do we survive as a species without adapting to reproduction without gravity?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_in_space
No one's mentioned Golden Palace yet? I'm ashamed of all of you.
Porn actors often lick each other's butt holes, perform fellatio direct from ass to mouth, and frequently spit on each other and suck it off. I don't think a little low G is going to make them nauseous.....
I hold very few opinions. I hold information based on observation and fact. If you wish to disagree, please use facts.
I would do it.
I know I'd miss the earth, especially the forests and mountains, but I would do it. As long as the spaceship is damn well equiped for entertainment and as long as there are computers and a couple of persons I can talk to when I need it, there's no problem. The spaceship would be a kind of small village and I really hate urban areas so I'd feel at home. No more mountain biking or trekkinh for me, but spacewalks would be nice. I can imagine myself in space, starring at the void, dreaming about reality...
I don't have 20 Ph.D. so nobody would select me though...
> And in case you didn't, it's about a maverick sailboat designer who builds a cat and duly sails it across an ocean with the 2 girls - actually I think he did it twice, with 2 different boats. Not sure if it was 2 girls each time or not.
[...]
> Their plans always had (have) sweet drawing of naked girls sitting about on said cats. And he is still at it
Wow! There's so much I didn't know about John McCain!
Comment removed based on user account deletion
ahh.. you beat me to it.
T-1hr. Possible opportunity approaching. Conditions optimal. Standard procedures in effect.
T-30min. A communications issue has arisen. All parties are working towards a solution. Countdown on hold.
T-30min(cont). Countdown reinstated. All issues successfully negotiated.
T-10min. Terminal count started. All preconditions and hurdles have been cleared. Systems on automatic, external communications have been severed.
T-60sec Final check. Hydraulic pressure rising within normal levels. We are go.
T-20sec. Retracting all covers and hold-downs.
T-5sec. All systems primed and positioned.
T-0sec. We have ignition. Maximum thrust.
T+4sec. All obstacles cleared. Thrust reduced. Systems nominal.
T+1:00. Approaching maximum dynamic pressure. High stress could result premature ending of the mission.
T+1:08. Max Q. All systems still nominal.
T+2:00. Velocity nominal. External guidance terminated.
T+2:30. Thrust terminated. We have separation. Undergoing reconfiguration.
T+2:40. Second stage initiated. Maximum thrust.
T+8:00. Approaching thrust termination. Velocity increasing quicker then any previous point.
T+8:21. Powering down. Minor thrust transients as pressure decays. Entering coast phase.
T+8:30. Communications established. Data being collected on all parameters.
T+9:00. All parties agree optimal insertion was achieved. Coast phase continues.
T+1hr. Primary mission complete. Systems reconfiguring for trip home.
T+1:10:00 Heat levels rising. Concern expressed for status of protection systems. Failure could result in excessive burning of key systems.
T+1:11:00 Communications black-out
T+1:30:00 Communications reestablished. All parties appear ok, but physicians will perform thorough checks to be safe.
T+2:00:00 Minor issues discovered. Improvements to protection systems recommended for all future missions.
[[That was money we had to refuse, I'm afraid.]]
I don't like this sentence: they chose to refuse this money (afraid of the bad publicity in the US probably), nobody forced them to refuse!
The Uranus Experiment
Private Media Group filmed a brief scene for the space-themed pornographic film The Uranus Experiment in a Russian aircraft flying a parabolic track (similar to NASA's Vomit Comet). The Uranus Experiment features around 20 seconds of actors Sylvia Saint and Nick Lang (who portray astronauts living on a space station) having sex in freefall. The scene was controversially nominated for a Nebula Award, but did not win. [12]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_in_space#The_Uranus_Experiment
http://xkcd.com/305/
The flight will last 2 hours including boosting and reentry/landing. Weightlessness will last 5 to 15 minutes. Hardly enough time for much more than the money shot, and then you've got to worry about stuff (!) floating around and getting into things (other than the intended docking port).
Add to that the fact that it'll be very difficult for a ground pounder to learn and carry out docking procedures, it's likely the result would be so clumsy as to be comedic. Of course the client in this case doesn't care if the result sucks, they just want to be able to slap "Made In Orbit" on the box to make money.
"I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
Prepare to buy LOTS of velcro.and glue it to the walls.
Just wait until the japanese make their space-bukkakke-productions.
If you quote this signature there'll be 72 copies of Windows ME waiting for you in Heaven.
$man woman
No manual entry for woman
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
Weightlessness lasts only 30 seconds on Zero-G plane. After that gravity is up to 2g.
Then it will sell even more to some people. You can't overestimate the depravity of humanity.
I love the new story posters. The're so cute when they still have faith in humanity.
It smells like chlorine in here!
Why, without your clothes, you're naked, Miss Dudley!
smooth wombat writes:
"And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?"
That's called "niche market."
My
Limekiller
Think about this:
The video industry was a niche market until Porn started getting involved. Now we have Blockbuster.
The internet was a home for geeks and scientists. Porn took an interest. Now it's our primary source of everything but food and water
The space industry is a niche for the very rich entrepreneur...
See where I'm going with this? SPACE NEEDS PORN!
The Uranus Experiment series was filmed using the Vomit Comet, and even had music from members of the Prodigy and Massive Attack.
-mkb
Virgin rejected - they would have to change the name first
A group of friends was sitting around talking about fantasies - the girls were all saying bear skin rugs in a cabin in the snowy mountains with a fire in the fireplace blah blah blah. The guys were talking about stuff like against the window of a room in a tall building looking over the city. And other such standard fantasies.
I said space. They all thought I was crazy. But mine is the best. And we all know I'm right.
No sig for you. YOU GET NO SIG!
YSOSRS?
Hey, that alien looks like a hot guy.
Yeah, we better have sex with it.
"And what if one or more of the actors gets sick? "
That really hits on some more specific targeted markets, I think a bonus features section is in order.
but we all saw what porn did for VHS... imagine what it can do for space flight!
And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?
You mean, like herpes?
Hi, I Boris. Hear fix bear, yes?
While not, strictly speaking, *space* (it was filmed on a vomit comet), microgravity porn HAS been produced already:
http://www.space.com/sciencefiction/movies/uranus_experiment_000516.html
Life would be easier if I had the source code.
this is what happens, everything goes to space. remember Jason X . thats pretty much the end of unscripted pr0n as we know it, it can only go downhill from there....
"And what if one or more of the actors gets sick? " There's a market for that...