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Do Nerds Have Better Sperm?
mcgrew writes "The question of how we loveless nerds managed to not be bred out of the species genome may have been answered. According to New Scientist, we have better sperm. According to the article, men who scored high on a battery of intelligence tests boasted high counts of healthy sperm, while low scorers tended to have fewer and more sickly little guys. ... Though the connections between brains and sperm were 'not awesome, they're there and highly significant.' All things held equal, good sperm and good brains go together." Don't start gloating yet. Another recent study found that the gene that makes you good at Halo also makes you a premature ejaculator. A study of 200 Dutch men found that those with a premature ejaculation problem all had a version of a gene that controls the release of serotonin. These men seem to "have very quick reflexes. They may be excellent at playing tennis or computer games." Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
The taste test!
What good is this if nerds never get a chance to use sperm?
Nuclear engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Those are some funny statistics. Let's not forget that you might be smart, have a gene that gives quick response times (reflexes is popularly used incorrectly... that's only for stuff like how fast you blink when you are poked in the eye), and be good at a game much better than Halo. Let's go with Team Fortress 2, despite it not being the most "competitive" RTS around, it's still the most fun for 99% of players... human or not.
... while low scorers tended to have fewer and more sickly little guys
When I first read that, did anyone else read
... while low scorers tended to have fewer and more sticky little guys
Was right, Survival of the fittest. The Low IQers get low sperm, and we got more :D
The only thing conclusively proven is nerd sperm makes a great palm moisturizer.
The movie "Idiocracy". Admittedly it's not exactly like the movie, however I can see this as going in a much similar fashion (It does explain the current state of things a bit).
It's Natural Selection at it's finest.
The women, while trying to subconsciously pick the best mate, inadvertently shoot themselves in the foot, as Mr. Cage Fighter is packing sickly soldiers, with a mission to degrade the gene pool.
Meanwhile Mr. Physicist is in possession of a load that may one day help save humanity. But alas, it may never be used...
Oh, Irony.
Microsoft - The best ad campaign Apple ever had.
Okay seriously I read that as SPAM.
I'm all freaked out now. My freudian slips are working in reverse.
If you can read this, I forgot to post anonymously.
...that it was a bad thing that I sucked at Halo.
.... I really suck at Halo!
Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
...I've had sex two times. I have two kids. You tell me.
All right, look, ladies. There's been studies showing that nerds are better lovers, care more about you, we're rich, and now we've got better sperm and will get you better kids, plus we're really interesting to boot. Now would somebody finally go out with me already, damnit?!?
Demanding constant attention will only lead to attention.
Hehe, I first read "Do nerds have better spam?" and just had to see which spam could possibly be better.
While I usually refer to myself as a geek, rather than a nerd (geek = nerd + personality [IMHO]) this is one that hits home with me. I've been married 2 years now and been trying to conceive for 3+ with no luck. Testing has determined that I have an abnormally low count (healthy in all other respects) and no current cause has been identified.
So no, being a geek/nerd DOESN'T mean you have better sperm, you INSENSITIVE CLOD!
discussion on this topic could fill a small plastic jar.
If by "better" you mean having a chance to enter a vagina, then... No.
__ Someday, but not this morning, I'll finally learn to use the preview button.
Condensated and concentrated over years without a proper release, its insemination powers know no bounds!
They barely ever get to use it. They probably live longer too. The Taoists have a whole internal mind/body philosophy that involves holding onto the sperm and recycling the energy through the body to reach enlightenment.
Actually, it means you aren't using enough lube.
-Peter
Evolution to promote survivial of the "nerd race"....producing more sperm gives a higher chance of pregnancy from limited number of encounters. Jocks will take more encounters to impregnate a woman. Also, from the video's I've seen, premature ejaculation would seem to actually increase the chance of pregnancy.....when the woman reaches climax, the cervix dips into the pool of sperm that has been deposited (book link to keep it safe for work: http://books.google.com/books?id=GuFz4r64ETkC&pg=PA73&lpg=PA73&dq=woman+orgasm+video+cervix&source=web&ots=icV2hCJ5fk&sig=Nml-3YZGpQ4PZwSDB_jqmZLbPXY&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=9&ct=result#PPA74,M1 )....so, if you deposit prior to her orgasm, the chance of the sperm being taken up goes up.....as opposed to when she orgasms first. So really, it's all showing the evolutionary traits that has led to the survival of the nerd race.
Layne
Confucius say "Geeks have better sperm, and hourly samples to prove it."
Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
as long as the nerd gets at least an hour in the pasture every day.
Actually, the more you empty the tanks, the fresher the boys in the tanks are, so obviously this has always been true. Just most aren't emptying their tanks into any females...
"People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything."
they just practice more?
it doesn't matter, since new studies also show that carrying a cell phone in your pocket greatly reduces the fertility rate in men. so maybe nerds have higher quality sperm, but if they carry their cell phones anywhere near their boys it will reduce them back to average...
Mine do tricks, code, solve NP problems . . . hell it's not like they have anything *else* to do . . .
Pug
An Invisible Entity of Vast Power whose existence must be taken on faith alone: Liberal Media
That most of it ends up on the desk, a bit of cloth or tissue. So not only am I putting it where it should be but I may be wasting above average spunk.
I guess I'll just have to ensure it ends up in a jar to go in a freezer just in case. I'll just have to remember never to make home-made popcicles again.
I smell smoke, every once in an hour there might be somthing that comes to the ground that looks like a scratch of ash, and the wind has stopped. Yesterday, there were no less than 10 hours of 50 mph wind. How are the cholos doing over in Santy Annie?
It was written, explicitly, that he was born into a virgin. To relate this by alien autopsy measure, he was an implant! The beast puts the implant in the hand(nazis) and forehead(hindis and sauron budhists), while God sneaks up on you when you are married and perhaps asleep and sticks it in your womb -- gayyyrrrreeattt! Except rather than letting your husband beat you to death in accusations of sexual immorality, Anglos appear out of nowhere to reason why you should not abort the phoetus, and while three saxony-Fifth Avenue-macemen law merchants arrive at the Holiday Inn garage to give you some gifts of U.S. Government bonds, Woodford Reserve, Goji Berries, and about 10 pounds in Amero bank notes that obviously have no value.
Your mom has sampled all varieties, and has upheld the result of this study - saying nerd sperm really is best in terms of flavor, texture, temperature, and its aesthetic qualities when sprayed on her face and chest.
Bow-ties are cool.
Somewhat of a blend between masculine and feminine body build, yet that all is determined how I shave or grow my hair. I don't use any "make-up" and never had any bouts with the puberties that other one-gender people have fought with. My voice is neither masculine or feminine, which makes it easier to pronounce words without problem, etc.
Now, in terms of gender physiology that is odd and explainable:
I have a penis and under-developed testes, just off from a clitoris and vagina leading to a womb with fertile ovaries. This is a verry rare condition, where there are in-fact women born with two wombs, and men born with two or more testicles and pens. I am lucky however, because my testicles are inactive -- if they were, the chemical imbalance would have seriously hurt my young development. So to this day, I meditate and focus my mind, anticipating when if my testicles descend and become active in parallel with my ovaries and womb.
The doctors said that I have stunted gondads/male-testes that will only be fertile if corrective surgery allowed them to descend out of my body cavity. They are currently lodged in the walls of my vagina.
Don't laugh that I was born a woman first, because some people that have these extra organs may have had an incomplete twin attached to them. I was evaluated and found not to have overtaken a twin -- I'm a double hermaphrodite. I don't buy a Mac and Turtle-neck shirt, I don't watch Furry movies, and don't like your jests. I am lucky to be alive.
seeing as how I'm very bright (super sperm) and I'm awesome at halo (they'll be spread everywhere very quickly). Unfortunately my halo skillz aren't going to help me support all my illegitimate children. My brain would, but it's too busy making me feel depressed about my premature ejaculation to do me much good right now.
Hi.
You might know me from publications like Slashdot. I'm your average commenter.
I'm socially inept, whilst very smart. I justify my borderline autistic behaviour when it comes to social norms by postulating that men that are paired with good looking women must be stupid just because they're good looking, and by corollary the women with them are stupid as well.
My roommate freshman year in college was the biggest star wars nerd ever, and i've never seen him ONCE date an ugly girl. The difference is he showered, he was able to talk to people normally and didn't flash his nerd credentials trying to impress people, or to justify when a girl gave him a NO.
Grow up /.
After being gently broiled by a hot laptop for hour after hour, no, probably not.
This comment is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to real insight or information is purely coincidental.
The link between sperm quality and intelligence is statistical, so lots of nerds will shoot blanks and many, many, many idiots will get one through the crease. But on average, intelligence and good sperm go together -- at least among 425 Vietnam vets tested in the 1980s. In my opinion, this effect made more of a difference in Paleolithic humans than in MIT or Caltech undergrads. Although most modern cultures are effectively polygynous (they have fewer fathers than mothers, on average), cultures advanced enough to have nerds or geeks are are probably the most monogamous (think Silicon Valley). So in between World of Warcraft marathons and Star Trek episodes, even the most hard-up geek get lucky. Whereas 20,000 years ago, being smart meant being sexy. (Being dumb meant being dead).
But they ultimately die in the air. So what good?
Not only nerds are intelligent. It makes sense that intelligent people take better care of themselves, have better health, etc (as I said, I am _not_ limiting to nerds). Also, people who used to be intelligent but drank/smoked/shot their brains out will also be less healthy.
Unhealthy people are unhealthy, which includes their sperm.
...I like nerds. But I don't want children. They get in the way of all the game-playing and interweb-surfing...
10 FILL MUG WITH COFFEE
20 DRINK COFFEE
30 GOTO 10
I'm nerdy enough to be running LINUX on my Nintendo DS Lite, if you need a level of nerd-ness indicator.
My wife and I conceived the first time we had intercourse. Bear in mind we were using contraception (a condom) and she had been diagnosed with endometriosis and had been told by her doctor she would never be able to conceive without surgical intervention.
I find this study highly convincing based on personal experience.
Assuming that nature promotes "survival of the fittest", the fact that nerds don't get much sex just means today's intelligence tests are flawed/incomplete ways of identifying the fittest.
As for sperm health, remember correlation/causation. The nerd who prides himself on doing well in an intelligence test probably also avoids masturbation the week before (and sex, if he even has the choice) and eats in the weeks up to the test so as to improve virility, believing that one can "win" as a medical research subject; it's the kind of annoying reverence for authority (scientists) that you'd expect from a nerd, bringing to mind the spotty schoolkid who remembers to bring apple for teacher before she even asks.
Real life isn't about tightly controlled testing and experimentation.
Don't start gloating yet. Another recent study found that the gene that makes you good at Halo also makes you a premature ejaculator.
Well, premature ejaculation isn't counterevolutionary, but it does diminish the pleasure for nerd and nerdette.
However, modern science has come up with drugs. Viagra isn't just to get it up for your aging wrinkled wife who has become too fat and ugly to fuck without chemical help. It also allows you control. You can make sex last pretty much as long as you want it to.
Two of four women I've used viagra with had orgasms and fell in love with me. A third of the four hasn't afaik fallen in love but did say she had an orgasm (but of course she could be lying).
The fourth was a hooker. Don't waste your viagra on a hooker!
Free Martian Whores!
Seriously, if you need to mention that "a woman you had sex with had an orgasm", and if you think you need Viagra to achieve that, then you're kind of missing the point.
All women I've had sex with had several orgasms before I even took my pants off. If you have fingers and a tongue (and a clue), there's no excuse for not giving a woman pleasure. Otherwise you're just using her to masturbate.
And if you can't even tell if a woman had an orgasm or not, maybe the Viagra is affecting your brain.
With this kind of clueless caveman attitude (me make cock hard, women love me), no wonder american women think european men are such great lovers (they're not, they're just not _terrible_, and they realise they can do more than a motorized dildo).
Think of how many books were already written in attribute to somthing God was never linked to accomplishing. Just don't tell them God killed that NASCAR guy, what's his name Amelia Earlheart? I see the protestants arriving anytime soon after triangulating my remote mountain shack where this was poste...
*dux
Have you considered inviting me to watch you and that double hermaphrodite (a few posts above) get it on?
I found this joke when looking for genetics jokes for a departmental presentation - I never used it, but thought it was funny anyway. NEWS FLASH!!! Scientists have discovered intelligent DNA in some women. Unfortunately 95% of them spat it out! http://www.jokefile.co.uk/odds/dnajokes.html
Amenacier