CIA Launches WTF To Investigate Wikileaks
krou writes "In an effort to investigate the impact of the leaked diplomatic cables, the CIA have launched the Wikileaks Task Force, commonly referred to at CIA headquarters as 'WTF.' 'The Washington Post said the panel was being led by the CIA's counter-intelligence centre, although it has drawn in two dozen members from departments across the agency.' Although the agency has not seen much of its own information leaked in the cables, some revelations (such as spying at the UN) originated from direct requests by the CIA. The Guardian notes that, 'WTF is more commonly associated with the Facebook and Twitter profiles of teenagers than secret agency committees. Given that its expanded version is usually an expression of extreme disbelief, perhaps the term is apt for the CIA's investigation.'"
Personally I'm waiting for CIA to also launch an task force called NWO, just to have some fun with conspiracy theories.
first
"CIA's counter-intelligence centre"
I can't decide if this is redundant or an oxymoron.
FRA: STFU GTFO
Given that its expanded version is usually an expression of extreme disbelief, perhaps the term is apt for the CIA's investigation.
This really shouldn't surprise anybody. An organization aids a person in obtaining classified documents and the CIA investigates? Preposterous!
Welcome To Facebook, of course!
Let me be the first to say LOL
But seriously, this sounds like a much more sensible approach than many other US responses we've seen so far.
What the fuck?
I hope the WTF internal memos don't end up appearing on Wikileaks as it could cause the creation of a WTFTF: task force recursion.
First they give 3 million people access to this information and then they complain at a guy that has nothing to do with it. Given the way the US threats people I am sure that the poor soldier who has been in isolation for months has gotten 'an offer he can't refuse' to sign a fake testimony against Assange. The weirdest part about this all is that half the population seems to believe the threat of terrorism is coming from some Muslims living in the desert. Totally blind for the real terrorism we face everyday, put in place by the so called government. Don't believe? Start a blog, become a journalist or try to get on an airplane without having some dick take a look at your dick, or even worse, your 5-y/o dick. Terrorism from Muslims can be a threat, however, the only terrorism I actually witness everyday is from white guys in suits.
Will there also be a website where you can get Daily WTF updates? This could be interesting. Add some crappy user commenting software are you are all set for a fun time.
I am Slashdot. Are you Slashdot as well?
the buzzing! life isn't supposed to imitate art! I gotta keep moving west or my head will explode!
slashdot: where everyone yells sarcastic metaphors to themselves to understand the issue
NWO is small potatoes. Its the FML that I'm really concerned about
If this was April 1st I'd guess "yes". Who on earth thought it should be named WTF? How about LMFAO? Or like my last company:
"Safety Has Its Time" - one of the contractors won an award for that slogan; submitted it just after he received an offer to work for another company
My AC stalker: " I personally agree with your posts most of the time, but that won't keep me from modding you troll"
I'm waiting for Operation OMGWTFBBQ myself... Oh My, Government Wikileaks Task Force Better Be Quick!
Somebody please tell me it's April 1st.
fist
"Mr. President, here is the WTF report"
HTML is obsolete. It's time for a new, simpler and richer markup language.
Brought to you by the Federal Acronym Research Team ;)
Ridiculous you say. I wouldn't be surprised I say.
I could save them the effort. Nobody has been killed, no attacks carried out. The world is still pretty much the same. There are a few red faces where rich and powerful people have been shown to be the duplicitous, lying hypocrites we suspected them to be. That is what this task force is trying to prevent in future.
piss
It will be known as OMG WTF CIA
bad luck fist fuck
GBT - Google Background Task-force (to look into the background data from wifi snooping)
WANK - Wide Area Network Keeper (protect infrastructure from DDOS)
SHIT - Secure Homeland IT (initiative against cyber warfare)
If the group can't even decode the Acronym WTF, I have serious reservations about their ability to counter the efforts of the global geek community out to get them.
"Ok 4chan, we were going to use 256-bit AES to transmit our instructions but it has recently come to our attention that if we simply use an encrytion schema called "Leetspeak" the CIA will be completely mystified and far less likely to crack the code."
***3 months later***
President Obama: "Our Military leaders and Intelligence officials have asked that I request help from the American people in our time of need. We are in desperate need of translators. Specifically in the Swedish ethic language of "LeetSpeak." The also asked me to say 'U will pwn n00b haxors" and said you'd know what that means."
...the CIA's opinion of the rest of the government's computer security procedures.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
WTF, not another Wikileaks story! In the spirit of the upcoming holiday season, maybe we can just forgo any more Wikileaks stories until after the New Year.
We fade in on a low lit smoky government war room.
Many high ranking CIA operatives are seated around a circular table.
Task force chairman: Gentlemen, we have our network completely set. Operatives are in place and the funding is acquired. .a name.
All we need now is . .
[CIA Director walks in]
Director: Well Hey Howdy boys! What are we all up against this time?!
Task force chairman: Director, we just learned about the release of numerous secret diplomat cables from a website called Wikileaks.
Director: WHAT THE F@$K?!! NEOTHEONENSFWBBQ?!!
Task for chairman: Hmmmm. . . WTF. W. . .T . . .F . . .That's it! Gentlemen, we have our name! Congratulations, Director!
[Cheers go out. Scotch is poured and toasts are made.
Screen fades to black.]
[Fade in on Julian Assange sitting in a British pub. A CIA operative, a couple MI5 operatives with some British Bobbies come
walking in the door.]
MI5 Operative: Julian Assange?
Julian: Yes?
MI5: You are being held for extradition to Sweden under allegations of rape. Please come with us.
Julian: WTF?!
CIA Operative: [Takes off sunglasses] Exactly.
[Fade to black. Cue Credits. Roll End Theme]
before the American people hit the reset button on the country? The government is obviously completely out of control. We have the TSA fondling children and strip-searching innocent citizens who simply want to travel from point A to point B. We have a Congress and Whitehouse who simply can't be bothered to do anything to help the Middle Class, preferring instead to concentrate even more wealth and power in the hands of the ultra-rich, ultra-connected, unaccountable, and demonstrably incompetent (eg. tax breaks for the wealthy and net neutrality). And thanks to Wikileaks the illusion that the government knows what it's doing has been shattered.
It's almost like those in power are betting each other they can screw the American people indefinitely, unapologetically, right in front of them and no one will do anything. And amazingly, the most heavily armed populace in the world is letting them get away with it.
Is there no steel left in the American soul?
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
..some old fogey is working at the CIA who is 100% out of touch with modern slang came up with this name. ..or.. ..someone at the CIA has a great sense of humor. ..or... ..some 4channer is an insider at the CIA and thought they would do this for the ultimate lulz. It's not unlike Fight Club where you find out members of Tyler's gang work everyday jobs and can secretly add things to your meal.
lol!
FOXTROT UNIFORM CHARLIE KILO
People, is this really transparency? Or is this espionage? Frankly I think that all the wikileaks documents fall on the side of espionage. Allow me a minute to elaborate my position. The government, private industry, and even individuals. Have private things that they want to keep private. By law, everyone's privacy is protected. When documents that are supposed to be private are "stolen" that is espionage and theft. How would you guys like it if the content of your hard drives was stolen and then posted on the internet? How would you like it if they did it under the guise of keeping you honest? I am sure all would agree that even under this "explanation" you would still feel like and have the rights under the law that information was stolen. Yes I understand that our government has to be transparent. There are however, methods to get information in the properway. Using the law, one can subpena the governemet, private industry, and individuals. Using legal ways information can be forced to be released. So what is my point? Basically, the protections must be in place to protect everyone, lest they be excluded whimsically. Much like our right to free speech. Everyone, has the right to free speech in the US. Even people that speak with hate. Any lawyers care to chime in? 01110000 01100101 01100001 01100011 01100101
Look at the signatories on this page, and tell me with a straight face that none of them have held public office.
What The Fuck?
I'm just waiting until the WTF creates its sister agency, the Operational Management Governing Bureaucratic Branching Queue.
Am I missing something? I thought it was some other guy, not related to Wikileaks who stole the documents? Shouldn't that guy/security hole be the target of an investigation? What's there to investigate with Wikileaks? They publish leaked documents. There, end of mystery. *sigh*
Maybe the CIA used OpenBSD. Damn those FBI agents. Damn them, I say.
It was either the Liquidate Bradley Manning brigade or this.
Set your phasers on "funky"!
I actually like this reaction a lot more than the others.
Seems someone in the agency has had the guts to realize that the horse has left the barn, and instead of yet another attempt at closing the door, is trying to figure out what the damage is and how to react to it.
That's a lot more sense than most politicians make these days.
Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
"The Real WTF is the Forum Software."
Classic
-Woof woof woof!
So now, the CIA is inspecting Barn Doors after the horses have left and are running down mainstreet?
Well, apparently we now know the gov's more concerned about their image then about actually treating people decently.
Wikileaks is made to keep government's honest. No threat in that.
But the American Government? They don't want to be honest, shit, they don't even want to do anything for the people of the USA.
They rather the sheeple, i mean, people of the USA kept their heads in the sand, while they (the government) run around with the corporations, because all the matters is money. Not how you get it, who you step on to get it, but actually having it.
Should the CIA be investigating wikileaks? No. They need to get their lazy, over paid asses in line, and start doing shit for the people of the united states, instead of the corporations or government of the united states.
Ah, fuck it, who am I kidding? Most the people are too stupid to even realize when the government is stomping on their rights to even care. Glad I should be dead within 40 years, seriously sad fucking world we are turning into here.
Be seeing you...
They should have called it the Secrecy Task Force Unit.
They have no case yet, they think, it needs to be bigger. So they torture Bradley. See http://www.truthdig.com/eartotheground/item/accused_wikileaker_bradley_mannings_torture_by_isolation_20101215/ or even http://www.google.nl/#hl=nl&source=hp&q=bradley+manning+torture
According to Guardian's WikiLeaks and the first amendment, it doesn't matter what was the newspaper's (WikiLeaks') stake in the matter:
...how any news organisation can be said not to have colluded with a source when it receives leaked documents. Didn't the Times collude with Daniel Ellsberg when it received the Pentagon Papers from him? Yes, there are differences. Ellsberg had finished making copies long before he began working with the Times, whereas Assange may have goaded Manning. But does that really matter?
What matters is whether publishing leaked documents poses such a grave danger to national security that it warrants prosecution. The supreme court, in the 1931 case of Near v Minnesota, ruled that the standard for stopping publication – that is, for censorship – is whether the information is so sensitive that it would be akin to revealing the movement of troops during wartime. That standard was affirmed in the 1971 Pentagon Papers case...
To the question "were any troops endangered" U.S. already has posted an answer: Pentagon review: No troops endangered by Wikileaks documents. If Slashdot was a TV show you'd be hearing "I rest my case".
bad date ass rape
I want to be part of the WTF task force. ...dude, WTF?
Wikileaks responds by launching an equally appropriate FAIL committee. (Forcing Accountability In Leadership)
Think for a second on what Mr. Mannings goal was... informing the public. Now think of how easily it would be for a foreign security agency or even a terrorist sympathizer to achieve the same level of clearance.
Very difficult: Bradley Manning is a true patriot, that's how he cleared the security screening. If they test for possible traitors, he passed because he always intended to serve his country.
You can't take the sky from me...
Somebody is clearly writing this nonsense.
If their insight into the reality of what makes the human mind react is this thin, then I can only imagine that the punchline/plot-twist/grand-finale is going to be just as campy and groan-worthy.
If they hadn't already softened up (force-fed) their audience with twenty years of the most embarrassingly and increasingly low-brow circuses humanity is capable of viewing without actually drooling into their popcorn, I'd venture to guess that nobody would buy any of this farce.
-FL
All the attention is in the messenger, all the efforts are focused on Assagne, how to discredit, capture, torture and punish him. Not in the message itself. That means two things, they want to make the public to forget about the leaks themselves (that are bad, but not too bad), and that they want to ensure that Assagne, his organization or anyone else that would want to emulate him gets in touch with the real bad documents that exist but they already got sure that don't leaked yet.
bad ass date rape
Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
In this case, the Regional Transportation Financing Agency.
Man, I wish I had mod points right now...
Yule log.
"Should an accomplice in a murder go unpunished because he didn't KNOW that his partner would kill someone."
It depends. If he was a knowing accomplice in the commission of a crime, and then his parner killed someone while committing that crime, he is guilty of murder. This is long-settled law and precedent. By being involved in the crime he actively set up the situation in which the person was murdered.
If you're just walking down the street and your friend kills someone, not guilty.
"Wikileaks doesn't have to KNOW what they were receiving to be guilty of collusion."
If a WikiLeaks agent actively solicits a specific person to release specific information, the agent is likely guilty of a crime. I doubt this is the case with Manning.
If WikiLeaks says it'll publish any info given to it, and someone releases classified information to WikiLeaks, that is not a crime for WikiLeaks. The information has been released, it is a freedom of speech issue now. See Pentagon Papers. But the person who leaked it is screwed, especially if he's in the military.
I'm not sure that people who are actively trying to find information about this matter would not just put wikileaks task force in google. Or, if they only hear that there was something called WTF from the CIA they'd throw those 2 words together plus wikileaks and find something about them rather easily.
As they're not, you don't. There's no international consensus that helping someone use a website and giving someone priority status are crimes.
Hosting leaked documents that foreign governments don't want to be visible isn't even a crime. If it is, someone better arrest John Young for this outrage.
And that's the way you want it, unless you want international law to allow extradition ti China for hosting pages critical of the Chinese government?
There people in trenches and posts who are the only thing what separates the world from tyranny and darkness. Yes, Wikileaks are fun, but I do not want these people die because of it. Assange and co should be careful what they publish after all.
That's kinda disappointing, really. Hey you guys~~! Have a look here already.
Sheesh.
The CIA's WTF, named by FART, is mostly definitely SBD.
FML.
Killing wikileaks will prevent our secrets from being disclosed, the same way that killing Napster stopped P2P. Yay!!
Free unix account: freeshell.org
Given the amount of "tampering" that Wired did and the reluctance to make the full chat logs available back when Manning was first arrested, my confidence in the reliability of those chat logs is approximately 0.
They're going to need something more concrete than a confession from a man being tortured and a chat log that's been arbitrarily edited.
But strangely, not all records in police databases are ... watched.
People that are of public interest (tv/movie stars, politicians, etc) usually get police records flagged in such a way that any attempt to access material related to those records is logged/alerted. If you don't need to know/access that information, then it is in the interests of you continuing to work there that you don't.
The same flags/alters are rarely present on the records relating to "normal people."
Been there, worked on that.
Did you just said the US tortured the soldier who leaked this information? Amazing! First Americans let the US torture some brown "people" because, hey, they're brown and wear funny towels on their heads. Then, you let the US government torture this American soldier because hey, Benedict Arnold and all that. What's next? I am also amazed that Americans appears to be mostly nonchalant about the human right abuses that your government commits openly. Maybe because you think that it will not happen to you. Guess again. I have put the US on my no fly-there list, the same way people before had put South American or African tin pot dictatorship countries on their never go there list. You never now when you could end tied-up naked with water dripping on your face.
http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1916240&cid=34612834
and
http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1916240&cid=34647708
http://www.pdfernhout.net/recognizing-irony-is-a-key-to-transcending-militarism.html
"Likewise, even United States three-letter agencies like the NSA and the CIA, as well as their foreign counterparts, are becoming ironic institutions in many ways. Despite probably having more computing power per square foot than any other place in the world, they seem not to have thought much about the implications of all that computer power and organized information to transform the world into a place of abundance for all. Cheap computing makes possible just about cheap everything else, as does the ability to make better designs through shared computing. I discuss that at length here: http://www.pdfernhout.net/post-scarcity-princeton.html
There is a fundamental mismatch between 21st century reality and 20th century security thinking. Those "security" agencies are using those tools of abundance, cooperation, and sharing mainly from a mindset of scarcity, competition, and secrecy. Given the power of 21st century technology as an amplifier (including as weapons of mass destruction), a scarcity-based approach to using such technology ultimately is just making us all insecure. Such powerful technologies of abundance, designed, organized, and used from a mindset of scarcity could well ironically doom us all whether through military robots, nukes, plagues, propaganda, or whatever else... Or alternatively, as Bucky Fuller and others have suggested, we could use such technologies to build a world that is abundant and secure for all."
See also:
http://www.pdfernhout.net/on-dealing-with-social-hurricanes.html#On_dealing_with_the_social_hurricane_of_the_CIA
A 21st century issue: the irony of technologies of abundance in the hands of those still thinking in terms of scarcity.
Or how about powerful american politicians forming an organisation calling for US global dominion?
They already have: it is called the US government.
They just want to shoot the messenger. Everything else is a way of trying to look as if they are not. All the fake justification will be done ineptly becuase it's a thankless, futile and pointless task that will be delegated down the chain until it hits people without the authority to ask somebody else to do it.
At one time, I remember hearing soldiers commenting on an old helicopter that they were still required to fly. Everyone knew that it was old, and when talking to media, one soldier --quite rightly-- called it an old piece of kit. Now that phrase sounds like something else, but its not something else. And soldiers know how to curse better than you. (Trust me). So if the CIA folk think of the Wikileaks Task Force as WTF, they thought of the alternate meaning before you read it. Thats not officially what its called, and when called on the carpet, they will hotly deny it, but thats what they thought of, and think of it. The politicians seeing then name of the task force may not be amused, but everyone else is (ok, privately the politicians are amused too).
I hear that Wikileaks Task Force has been mandated to provide Frank, Unambiguous and Clear Knowledge of the situation.
Wait until the American Secret Systems Handling And Transport group at CIA hears about this.
http://soundcloud.com/penguinmusic/omgwtfbbq
insecurity asks the wrong question irritation gives the wrong answer