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Vatican To Digitize Prohibited Archives
tiltowait writes "Hot on the heels of their successful iPhone app and drive-through confessional, the BBC News reports that the
Vatican
Voltron
Vulture
Decepticons
has announced plans to digitize their pornography collection and make it available online to
tithing
paying
horny
hungry
subscribers. Given what the church has planned for the project's
by-products
offspring
profits
moneez
, here's hoping they learn lessons from the the New York Times paywall loopholes. Is anyone in on the Indulgentia beta?"
n/t
Nice try though!
it's focking 1st of apr.... But I shouldn't comment, maybe Dan Brown reads it and believes it.
Boring
Why did I have to get mod points today? Useless.
Someone had to do it.
Every year ./ seems to get worse. Even the Aprils Fools joke are getting worse. Unfortunately there's a lack of decent alternatives.
English is not my first language. Corrections and suggestions are welcome.
not to be confused with a bunch of fools, the costchoosers have mentioned that much of the difficulty was due to an unnoticed, unproven, & unresolvable 'nick' in the head georgia stone, which was misinterpreted throughout fake history, as a decimal point. can you believe it? now we can comfortably survive with all 5 billion of us, instead of the previously maintained .5 billion? even theology evolves?
That would have been perfect this year, with the new MLP show. Oh, well.
Won't someone PLEASE think of the child... erh...
better not.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
April Fools Day is supposed to be able to trick "fools". This would not fool even the most extreme unthinking Pat Robertson types out there.
Does this also contain the DaVinci portraits of the nude popes?
What will Dan Brown write about now?
Floating in the black seas of infinity without a paddle.
Just check the URL I s'ppose... Hope there's no link to Malware in there
CmdrTaco let the users submit there own MadLibs .. er stories! We won't inject badly behaving scripts! Please, I'll do my homework and go to bed early.
Atlas Shrugged : Thematic Story
Someone smart, not me I'm an idiot, needs to create a browser plugin that makes April Fool story's disappear
This one's not even believable in the least bit. If you're going to do April Fools at least make me wonder if it's true or not.
Almost forgot, I don't read /. on April 1st.
sysadmins and parents of newborns get the same amount of sleep.
This has got to be right up there with P1nk P0n13s as one of my fav's.
Your friendly neighborhood AC - Lurking on Slashdot everyday since 1997!
Insanity! The internet is useless, I'm giving up on slacking off and resorting to actually working.
I wonder how many people will post today just for the Accomplishment
I'd like the original version to be real.
like majic. digitize is wize. now we, & our rulers & maintainers, know how much we have to owe every second, so we needn't have a concerned thought as to whether or not we're living up to our share of the eternal holycost. no card, no bard. it'll take bigger fools than us to be outspent again? unhibited?
This is offensive, tasteless and prejudiced.
Let's get the "man on the street" report at the Vatican about this shocking news:
A passer-by said this about Dan Brown, "Poor Dan is in a droop!" about this story
Another passer-by said about the Pope's fan boys about this news, "Won't lovers revolt now?"
I heard the Pope's cook said to the doctor, "Doc, note I dissent: a fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod.
The husband of Rowena, the Pope's fashion manager, said "A new order began, a more Roman age bred Rowena."
A Swiss Guard exclaimed "Draw, O coward!!!" due to a misunderstanding about my IPad.
The person that leaked this story told me, "Evil did I dwell; lewd I did live", as he was going to confession.
And a priest told me his secret to resisting temptation, "Lived on Decaf; faced no Devil!"
And that's the news, goodnight!
I guess they didn't look too close at some of the sculptures and painting the Vatican commissioned over the years.
Apple breasted Madonnas, naked cherubs, etc.
I guess the difference between pr0n and art is a few hundred years.
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
The timestamp on TFA is March 31. Screwy CMS?
Media that can be recorded and distributed can be recorded and distributed.
-kfg
I was wondering why my Slashdot RSS feed was reading like a grad thesis paper title.
I've been here long enough to remember when there were a few clever bits thrown in amongst the snark here on April 1.
But this... this... vatican porn... WTF? Tasteless AND Tedious, nice job. And a new low.
Taco, you guys make enough money on this site now, howzaboutmaybe you consider hiring some professional comedy writers once a year to script this site on April 1. Consider it a little give-back.
As it stands now, you're just driving readers away in hordes...
I love it. It's like a Vatican Fool's Day Mad Lib!
If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits
Yeah, this one is really offensive.
Ignore TFA -- the radiation levels around the Fukushima plant are nowhere near Chernobyl levels. This is now an effective rebuttal to any slashdot post or comment.
my apology for propagating a silly meme
Don't mess with The Phone Company. Piss them off and you'll be using two tin cans and a piece of string.
Seems reasonably funny...
Why?
http://www.acetonestudio.com
Godwin's law applies, unless it's April 1st.
Then people will state the obvious, thereby losing the discussion, way before Godwin's law can be applied.
Privacy is terrorism.
Does nothing happen in the news on the first of April?
They're catholic. It's only funny when it's someone else's religion.
Science is all about firing a drunk pig out of a cannon just to see what happens.
And make the choices the viewpoints of all directions of extreme viewpoints.
While the default stays the writer’s viewpoint.
Then let us set our viewpoint in the settings. ;)
And we call all happily live in our own egocentric world that we live in anyway.
(Bonus points for making the moderation’s effect relative to the relationship between your viewpoint and that of the moderator. :)
I must be some kind of leader... Since Slashdot is following me to the grave.
There's so much free pr0n on teh Innert00bs that the Vatican's stash won't be any big deal. Most slashdotters probably have copies already.
The Vulcan prohibited archives, on the other hand ... that could start a whole new TV series - ST:TPA (Star Trek: The Prohibited Archives).
And the cast wouldn't have to worry about one of the leads ... speaking ... every ... word ... like ... its ... a ... separate ... sentence!
It could rank right up there with Spaceballs II - The Search for More Money.
is when you mean one thing and you say your mother.
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." -- Albert Einstein
And this coming from poor wittle APK, also know as "Petey, the idiot HOPES file guy"? As in you HOPES that one of the 300,000+ constantly changing array of websites that are infected doesn't happen to be the one you visit today? Or that you HOPES that nobody notices after repeatedly being asked you have FAILED to show even the tiniest shred of mathematical proof that your magical woobie can scale? That you HOPES nobody notices your only "proof" is anecdotes, often by your own sock puppets like Kingsjester?
If there is ANYONE that should be LOLing it is me, for pointing out there are still morons that believe 16Mb HOPES files can do anything but block ads since ad servers are...what do you call it...oh yeah STATIC, just like your HOPES file, but really you are just kinda pathetic. You're like the idiot that just keeps hanging onto that three years out of date copy of Norton, because he is just so damned sure it still works, only the Norton guy is actually better protected than you are, since it did used to work in the past 5 years.
So please, keep posting APK, I do so enjoy pointing out the total uber fail of your magical woobie so. I also personally consider it a public service to point people to solutions that actually work instead of relying on magical woobies and anecdotes. And of course bitch slapping your retarded ass around is also quite fun, even if it is too easy!
ACs don't waste your time replying, your posts are never seen by me.
Well...I was brought up Catholic (not any more!) and would see that as all the more reason to find it funny. The problem is, it's not really funny. Maybe that is why it is really offensive. I am offended by lame humour!
http://www.acetonestudio.com
I heard they have fantastic statues by old masters of girls with fingers in each other.
It makes sense. Before TV and the printing press, the only way to create pornography was through artisans.
If this archive really existed it would be the one place that would definitively debunk Christianity as whole and in all its forms. Then of course, millions of people would voluntarily ignore anything that comes of it and life would go on unchanged, with people just as ignorant as before.
how is babby formed?
"oh yeah STATIC, just like your HOPES file, but really you are just kinda pathetic." - by hairyfeet (841228) on Friday April 01, @02:27PM (#35689938)
Let's have "Pwuffesuh HaiwyPheet" of the PRESTIGIOUS "ITT Tech" tell you ALL his lesson on "static vs. dynamic" address based ad banners (lol, put your mental seatbelts on folks - it's a wild-ride that will have you laughing your asses off):
http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=2061048&cid=35681060
LMAO!
---
I also don't put my "entire faith" in HOSTS files, so you can cut the lies already - though I *do* consider them to be a VALUABLE part of an arsenal of the MOST effective thing you can do for online security:
"LAYERED" security!
So - How can I speak of THAT & as an authority?
Ok - Well, I'm actually one of the main "sources"/authorities for it, for nearly 15 yrs. now online & unlike YOU? I can prove it!
To wit/E.G.:
I also created the 1st guide for securing Windows, highly rated @ NEOWIN (as far back as 1998-2001) here:
http://www.neowin.net/news/apk-a-to-z-internet-speedup--security-text
AND, more currently, the MOST viewed & highly rated one there is for years now since 2008 online:
http://www.bing.com/search?q=%22HOW+TO+SECURE+Windows+2000%2FXP%22&go=&form=QBRE
Which has well over 300,000++ views online (actually MORE, but 1 site with 75,000 views of it went offline/out-of-business) & it's been made either:
---
1.) An Essential Guide
2.) 5-5 star rated
3.) A "sticky-pinned" thread
4.) Most viewed in the category it's in (usually security)
5.) 2.) Got me PAID by winning a contest @ PCPitStop (quite unexpectedly - I was only posting it for the good of all, & yes, "the Lord works in mysterious ways", it even got me PAID -> http://techtalk.pcpitstop.com/2007/09/04/pc-pitstop-winners/ (see January 2008))
---
Across 15-20 or so sites I posted it on back in 2008... have YOU done better, troll?
No, obviously.
(So much for your attempts @ "discrediting me" with "std. troll disinformation protocol", because it falls apart in the light of FACTS... easily! Just "too, Too, TOO EASILY" in fact!)... apk
"I also personally consider it a public service to point people to solutions [superantispyware.com] that actually [comodo.com] work [malwarebytes.org] instead of relying on magical woobies and anecdotes" - by hairyfeet (841228) on Friday April 01, @02:27PM (#35689938)
The effectiveness of those solutions is FAR from perfect & everyone knows it... but, in case they do NOT? See here:
---
MULTIPLE EVIDENCES OF ANTIVIRUS &/or ANTISPYWARE PROGRAM FAILURES + SHORTCOMINGS:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/12/04/win_2000_virus_tests/
http://www.securityfocus.com/infocus/1839
http://it.slashdot.org/it/08/11/07/1545238.shtml
---
From COMPLETELY VALID & RESPECTED SOURCES no less, as is per my usual!
APK
P.S.=> No, single solutions (even HOSTS, which I have NEVER ONCE said is "the end all/be all" of security - just a great layered added part vs. known malicious sites &/or servers (botnet C&C ones etc.) for security, and SPEED (blockout adbanners & hardcode your favs for reliability vs. DNS poisoning, DNSBL, & DNS request logs etc.) too + more - it's VERY "versatile", free, & you can get them from reputable sources like this one -> http://www.mvps.org/winhelp2002/hosts.htm
As to my "know how" & experience in security for a PC (as well as in the real world where I was the manager for a couple years in THAT VERY CAPACITY)? Ok:
I also created the 1st guide for securing Windows, highly rated @ NEOWIN (as far back as 1998-2001) here:
http://www.neowin.net/news/apk-a-to-z-internet-speedup--security-text
AND, more currently, the MOST viewed & highly rated one there is for years now since 2008 online:
http://www.bing.com/search?q=%22HOW+TO+SECURE+Windows+2000%2FXP%22&go=&form=QBRE
Which has well over 300,000++ views online (actually MORE, but 1 site with 75,000 views of it went offline/out-of-business) & it's been made either:
---
1.) An Essential Guide
2.) 5-5 star rated
3.) A "sticky-pinned" thread
4.) Most viewed in the category it's in (usually security)
5.) 2.) Got me PAID by winning a contest @ PCPitStop (quite unexpectedly - I was only posting it for the good of all, & yes, "the Lord works in mysterious ways", it even got me PAID -> http://techtalk.pcpitstop.com/2007/09/04/pc-pitstop-winners/ (see January 2008))
---
Across 15-20 or so sites I posted it on back in 2008... have YOU done better, troll?
No, obviously.
(So much for your attempts @ "discrediting me" with "std. troll disinformation protocol", because it falls apart in the light of FACTS... easily! Just "too, Too, TOO EASILY" in fact!)... apk
"I do so enjoy pointing [paretologic.com] out [adoko.com] the total [dslreports.com] uber fail [ehow.com] of your magical woobie so" - by hairyfeet (841228) on Friday April 01, @02:27PM (#35689938)
There's YOUR sources, & then? There's mine (an actual security guru's in the mix, and HE read MY WORK back from the late 90's on it & is RECOMMENDING using them now, in the 21st century for added protection - so does mvps.org, highly respected themselves in this capacity):
How about Mr. Oliver Day & his article from 2009 called "A Return to the Killfile":
http://www.securityfocus.com/columnists/491
---
PERTINENT QUOTES/EXCERPTS from SecurityFocus (a division of Symantec):
"The host file on my day-to-day laptop is now over 16,000 lines long. Accessing the Internet â" particularly browsing the Web â" is actually faster now."
"From what I have seen in my research, major efforts to share lists of unwanted hosts began gaining serious momentum earlier this decade. The most popular appear to have started as a means to block advertising and as a way to avoid being tracked by sites that use cookies to gather data on the user across Web properties. More recently, projects like Spybot Search and Destroy offer lists of known malicious servers to add a layer of defense against trojans and other forms of malware."
---
(Thus, as you can see - SPEED and LAYERED SECURITY is the gain... it's huge on both, noticeable, & yes - EFFECTIVE!)
---
Folks can read that, & decide for themselves...
Oh, wait: Many /.'ers have (see below)
How about all the folks from this site that use them (since we're here):
PERTINENT QUOTES/EXCERPTS:
Amongst MANY others here, but I think that'll do with myself included to outnumber 9:1 for starters, vs. YOUR "mere opinion" (which is now, for shit, after the post you replied to shows only SOME of your many Sub - BestBuy Techie skillz level, lol!)
(So... go on, ask ANY of them how or WHY they use HOSTS files (which are free, you have one already, & to fill it there are PLENTY of reputable sources like mvps.org , they DO come here after all!)
(That again, in addition to the 1,000's using mvps' HOSTS file (highly esteemed & recognized/respected too -> http://www.mvps.org/winhelp2002/hosts.htm (which is FREE, current, & WORKS!):
APK
P.S.=> As to myself being a VALID & highly esteemed source on "things PC-security"? Ok, & for 15 yrs. now no less, to great acclaim:
I also created the 1st guide for secu
And this coming from poor wittle APK - by hairyfeet (841228) on Friday April 01, @02:27PM (#35689938)
You came into a thread where I posted pretty much what is in all the other replies I did to you here (blowing away your b.s. easily on every "so-called point" you tried to make & FAIL on)?
You stalked & trolled me to here:
http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=2061048&cid=35667576
THERE, right after that, I BLEW AWAY YOUR LIBEL OF MYSELF (along with arstechnica's who have stalked, libelled, & email harassed, & even made death threats to myself (Jay Little) and impersonated me (Jeremy Reimer) only to their OWN dismay - when their ISP/BSP's put them on tracking tickets, stopped their email harassment, & even the law in a Det. Felton of B.C. (where Reimer dwells) stopped that all, cold!)
In fact, Jeremy Reimer had to PUBLICLY ADMIT he impersonated me on his own personal forums as well. A quote:
"Anyway the "APK" registered here is just an affectionate clone of the original. In fact I prefer him to the original." - Jeremy Reimer - March 25, 2005
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22OSY%22+and+%22affectionate+clone%22+and+%22Reimer%22&btnG=Search
He's a "BattleFront" forums mod (or was, and wrote articles for them (spitting back what others already did which he plagiarized (e.g.-> On GUI history, Doug Englebart)))) but, not anymore - that DESTROYED him, badly.
If HE impersonated me... don't you THINK that the rest of ars did in YOUR "sources" too? Yes, they did.
---
THIS was where I put that ALL to rest:
http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=2061048&cid=35668740
APK
P.S.=> Easily... just "too, Too, TOO EASILY" in fact, lol... so much for your libel of myself, hairyfeet... my replies here are cooking your goose, badly, & simply because I use documented, provable facts! apk
With all the jokes about Catholics in the media, I ask: Why not more jokes about Jews? Like " Wikileaks reveals Sinagoges satanic rituals"
I hope you like it Petey, I did it just for you. Now on EVERY SINGLE POST I make I can not only insult you, I can show everyone how completely batshit you are! its a two for one baby yeah!
BTW You know it is usually considered good form to at least make a sock puppet, posting AC to plug your own AC posts? Kinda sad. And for the 400th time Correlation != Causation. I can build an XP Sp2 machine with NO patches, NO AV, and change the desktop to a LOLCat. Now if I only use this machine to check my email and go to my bank I will NEVER get a bug, but I don't think it was my magical LOLCat protecting it, do you?
The simple fact is this: no matter how many times trollie says "1+1 = 3" the math simply proves you wrong and THAT is why all you can do is throw insults. You have 190,000 to 340,000 infected websites at this very moment and that list will change by the thousands per minute as sites are cleaned, new sites are infected, new vulnerabilities found, etc. Now for your HOPES file to actually be a REAL protection and not just a woobie? It will have to dynamically scale and keep up with that ever changing list of infections. Now even if you had twenty fingers and subscribed to every security list on the planet your HOPES file will ALWAYS BE OUT OF DATE and behind the curve. Always.
Now if you have a mathematical proof that shows how a static .txt file dropped into system 32 can magically scale dynamically? Lets see it. Otherwise it is NOTHING more a magical LOLCat pic backed up by anecdotes. That is the nice thing about math, it doesn't lie or believe in anecdotes.So the ball is in your court Petey, lets see the math. put up or STFU. Oh and I fart in your general direction!
ACs don't waste your time replying, your posts are never seen by me.
I've read somewhere that commenting on an April's fool story gives an achievement.
There's a hidden treasure in Python 3.x: __prepare__()
Yeah. It's lame and a total cheap shot.
Hey, I have no problem with a humourous shot at the Vatican, or indeed the seat of any organized religion but when it's not funny...well, best not bother with it. Let's have some funny jokes. But thankfully April 1 is almost at an end and comedic efforts will now be resumed by people who are (supposed to be) better at it - and not on /. We can all breathe a sigh of relief and a good lungful of computer fan exhaust!
http://www.acetonestudio.com
See subject-line, & awesome... it DOES describe via analogy what the links in my "p.s." below did to you:
---
The defeat of hairyfeet by APK videos:
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=2064694&cid=35690536
---
(AND, as-per-usual? Well, you know - It was just "too, Too, TOO EASY - just '2EZ'")...
APK
P.S.=> Now, don't forget - There's these too in response to your "so-called points", of which they EASILY 'dismantle' each:
---
Only thing constantly changing's your "math":
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=2064694&cid=35690076
---
Static vs. Dynamic (lol, "according to hairyfeet"):
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=2064694&cid=35690188
---
Hairyfeet's single solutions FAILURES? See inside:
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=2064694&cid=35690260
---
Your sources vs. mine (AND myself, a source on it):
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=2064694&cid=35690328
---
Lastly, as to your LIBEL of myself (w/ arstech):
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=2064694&cid=35690372
apk