Slashdot Mirror
LHC, CERN Has Found the Hugs Boson
An anonymous reader writes "In a ground-breaking announcement issued today,
CERN
NASA
PETA
NAMBLA
, the European Organization of Nuclear Research (which hosts the enormous and
magnificent
glorious
orgasmic
catastrophic
Large Hadron Collider) has announced the discovery of the hugs boson, an unexpected gauge boson which was not
predicted
prognosticated
invented
baked
by the Standard Model. Unexpectedly, the discovery was made by a high-school
mascot
student
teacher
gymnasium
during his scholarship. Due to his
Tourette's
age
face
breath
, it is not clear whether he can be awarded the Nobel Prize. However, his teacher has generously agreed to be awarded in his name, in case of any
problems
reprisals
assassins
aliens
."
I don't know about you, but I love this new particle. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
hatin on AF, pardon :)
...in reading Slashdot today.
If you want news from today, you have to come back tomorrow.
I'm waiting for the April Fools...
How much does it weigh?
For justice, we must go to Don Corleone
the editing feature turning what i once enjoyed as a reputable information source into something of juvenile amusement.
He just copied result of 12-year old which predicted boson when he corrected Einsten`s theory of relativity
These summaries are much more informative when read via RSS
An anonymous reader writes "In a ground-breaking announcement issued today, CERN NASA PETA NAMBLA , the European Organization of Nuclear Research (which hosts the enormous and magnificent glorious orgasmic catastrophic Large Hadron Collider) has announced the discovery of the hugs boson, an unexpected gauge boson which was not predicted prognosticated invented baked by the Standard Model. Unexpectedly, the discovery was made by a high-school mascot student teacher gymnasium during his scholarship. Due to his Tourette's age face breath , it is not clear whether he can be awarded the Nobel Prize. However, his teacher has generously agreed to be awarded in his name, in case of any problems reprisals assassins aliens ."
Sierra Tango Foxtrot Uniform
... is NOT Goatse!
Or is it???
Have gnu, will travel.
Okay this one was close enough to a real headline to make me forget it was April 1st and click on the story.
Damn you /. for making me think we'd made a real scientific breakthrough.
Get over yourself, slashdot.
An average bison might weigh 2000 pounds, so I'd imagine a Huge Bison would weigh at least double that.
It can be embarrassing at times.
The CERN article is very, very funny
Religion: The greatest weapon of mass destruction of all time
Hugs Bosom.
April Fools....
When people with no sense of humor show their true colors. As if reading these stories causes any kind of problem.
An important change for education.
What about a Dyson Bison, a spherical-shell-shaped bison with a star in the center?
The enemies of Democracy are
new bible? offers for delays & modifications to our 'reward' have been met with less than enthusiastic responses from the flock, & the unproven sacrificial sheeps
I haven't giggled at /. in ages, but "Dyson Bison" did it for me. I love you.
Also, QOTD:
We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them. -- Thucydides
I guess doing them is one way.
If anything coming out of the LHC tries to hug me, I still have my crowbar.
I just about shat my pants when I read the headline, before I realized that 'higgs' was 'hugs' and it's the internet's most celebrated holiday.
What was William Shatner's reaction?
My first Journal Entry ever, in 8 years! http://slashdot.org/journal/365947/aphelion-scifi-fantasy-horror-poetry-webzine
...move on!
WHY CAN"T I CHOOSE THE FIRST WORD IN THE DROPDOWN LIST? TYPICAL BORKEN SLASHDOT FAILURE
don't use so many caps, it's like poo
don't use so many caps, it's like poo
don't use so many caps it's like poo
We're still.. WAITING.. for him to... complete.. his sentence.
Klaus Fuchs and Vladimir Fock welcome the news, though they still hope a deeper penetration into the data.
U+F8FF
What alien assassins want from an ordinary Tourettes suffering school mascot?
But.
He.
Doesn't.
Talk.
Like.
Every.
Word.
Is.
A.
Sentence.
http://www.pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF115-Hug_Bot.jpg
Then don't.
Is it a reflection of the generally crappy editing in Slashdot headlines or my excessive gullibility that my heart skipped a beat in excitement as I read "Hugs Boson"?
I'm hoping it's the former, because I could really use a Hugs Boson today...
For now, all we have is a Nivin Bison, a bison ring around a star, which has been infested by Microsoft drones, so it isn't safe to go there any more.
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
Reading Scientific American this month, I realised for the first time that the diameter of the Universe at the end of the proposed inflationary period was about 15mm. If someone put that in an April Fool, how many people would believe it, either way? "Early Universe expanded faster than the speed of light to the size of a grape".
From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
It is funny to try to sneak one article in. That would be "cute" and everyone would go about their day. Most of us have slashdot in an rss just for news in tech - why waste a day of not posting anything? Besides the joke articles are lame.
Is that how it works this year?
It used to be that deviant behavior in physics involved "dirty dicking the 0-1 rod".
Tisha Hayes
where do they put the horns?
When I collide my large hardon I sometimes get bosom hugs too.
Oh.... hadron...
I like mine better.
I have developed a truly marvelous proof of this comment, which this signature is too narrow to contain.
...that is as close as Cern will come to admitting uselessness.
who doesn't find April's Day joke articles all that funny anymore? They remind me of the Super Bowl ads......formerly funny, now just tired. The Thinkgeek.com fake products are good today. I totally want the Angry Birds pork rinds.
An anonymous reader writes "In a ground-breaking announcement issued today, CERN ."
NASA PETA NAMBLA , the European Organization of Nuclear Research (which hosts
the enormous and magnificent glorious orgasmic catastrophic Large Hadron
Collider) has announced the discovery of the hugs boson, an unexpected gauge
boson which was not predicted prognosticated invented baked by the Standard
Model. Unexpectedly, the discovery was made by a high-school mascot student
teacher gymnasium during his scholarship. Due to his Tourette's age face breath
, it is not clear whether he can be awarded the Nobel Prize. However, his
teacher has generously agreed to be awarded in his name, in case of any problems
reprisals assassins aliens
but somewhat repetitive. CERN NASA PETA NAMBLA got to be one of the most ambitious organizations on the planet.
I saw boson in my RSS feed and got excited.
Chewbacon
The Bible is like Wikipedia: written by a bunch of people and verifiable by questionable sources.
a Dyson Bison, a spherical-shell-shaped bison
But is it frictionless?
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Somewhere there's a silent voice
Personally I preferred it when they discovered the Higg's Bozo