Slashdot Mirror
Japanese Scientist Creates Meat Substitute From Sewage
An anonymous reader writes "Hold on to your hamburgers — Japanese scientist Mitsyuki Ikeda at the Environmental Assessment Center in Okayama has invented an artificial meat substitute made from human feces. The unseemly meal is made by extracting protein and lipids from 'sewage mud.' The lipids are then combined with a reaction enhancer and whipped into 'meat' in an exploder. Ikeda makes the 'meat' more palatable by adding things like soy protein."
Hey, is that corn?!
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
Disgusting. I'd rather eat soylent green.
suddenly sounds reassuring
i'd rather be a cannibal than a shit eater
although we do have the basis of a plot here for "human centipede 3"
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Is it easier to digest the second time and will there be a beverage made from urine?
Soylent Green is People
It's called a dildo.
Try dericious shitty meat!
...the vegetables they are trying to pass off as Organic, grown on "bio solid", filled with toxic levels of lead and heavy metals that they are serving to kids in LA, and that all the celebs are raving about!
captcha: populous - as in, we won't have a healthy populous if we keep this crap up. Pardon the pun.
Politely, I invite Ikeda to die.
We're always seeing people eating strange things, whether it be fish that may or may not be lethal, to tasties like cow brains and pig testicles, this will be no different. There will be some that will eat it. If nothing else, ship it to people that would much prefer turdburgers to starvation. But the start will probably just be people eating it for the shock/novelty value.
The scientist says his goal is to make it the same price as regular meat... I think they're going to have to go a little better than that, make it cheaper. If you can drop the cost per calorie/nutrient down to at least that of say, grain, it'd be an ideal foodsource for places that need food relief. Right now they don't see meat because of cost - grain is still their cheapest alternative. This would be a lot higher in protein, so if they could at least match the cost, that'd be a hit.
I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
Eat shit and don't die!
This looks perfect for a Japanese gameshow.
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
Why does he need a pointer with a plastic hand to point at something clearly within his reach?
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
Another solution to the global food crisis is to stop having massive freakin steaming piles of babies. (*Gives various religious doctrines a condemning glare*).. Further developing the pwned world would probably go a long way too.. If everyone can afford an xbox, they'll be too busy getting killed playing Halo to go reproduce. AHh, forget it, let's just chow down on some shit-jerky and "go to town"..
Taco bell did this years ago.
They had the idea already: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RRDLzxFXjY
Happy some real scientifics picked the idea up.
The breath mint industry probably paid for this research.
As if we weren't already eating feces...
From the video: "Once the research is complete and it's put on the market we'll probably be able to price it at roughly the same level as normal meat." Hmm, should I buy the ribeye or the extruded soy-supplemented feces meat? At the same price, the choice is so difficult....
Like puzzle games? Warehouse51 for iOS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP_nNemsNT8
They even suggested a pipe line between the US and developping countries, to convey the "food".
They only thing they failed to predict was the state of the US economy, which may require to operate the pipeline in reverse.
Recycling nutrients for space travel is essential. Astronauts already drink water that is extracting from human urine. Extracting proteins and lipids from human waste could be just as important.
PETA can finally have their meat.
Once I think I've gotten used to the weirdness that comes out of Japan -- they go and top themselves.
I suppose they'll be coming out with Tentacle and Used Panty flavored Shit-Meat® in short order
That finger pointer is disturbing!
There are lots of strange things that can be made edible (snails, bugs, pond-scum, dogs, cats, etc).
Why choose what is probably the most disgusting choice, excrement? And if you have to choose excrement, why does it have to be "human" excrement?
TFA even shows the scientist with a bag labelled "shit burgers"! This sounds totally like an attempt at simply getting some hits on You Tube.
Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.
It was inevitable. (*sheds a tear*)
Wow, that's not the movie I saw. I could see eating people, but shit? Nah, this sequel will never work.
At least they have no qualms about what it actually is.
@1:33 in the video, the label on the fridge says 'Shit Burger'
That is certainly going to help people get over the mentioned 'psychological problem' of eating the stuff.
Be kind and peaceful to each other. Eat recycled food. It's good for the environment and okay for you.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113492/quotes
Then let them eat shit.
I can't wait for the corporate McShit burger that some board of CEO's takes 99 cents of every dollar purchased into their own pockets.
Googling the researcher's name and his institution only brings up this story. Looks like you someone successfully trolled slashdot.
So now with a bit of infrastructure investment, MacDonalds can hook their kitchens up to their bathrooms and voila : a perpetual motion machine.
My next sig will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush
McDonalds has been doing this for years.
Just no. If it comes down to me eating my own shit (reprocessed or not) or death... well, it would be a tough decision.
today is spelling optional day.
The WTO experimented with the McDung, Re-burger, and File-O-Feces sandwiches years ago!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379593/
Odd, I could have sworn there was something like this already...... AH! Right. "Tofu."
Procrastinating life a way at a rapid rate of speed.
Only in Japan..for real.
Just say no. NO!
This reminds me so much of elementary school recess.
"I'll give you my snack if you eat a bug, Timmy"
"No, I don't want to"
"What are you a wuss? It's just a bug"
(kids start chanting)
"Eat a bug!"
"Eat a bug!"
"EAT A BUG!"
Timmy eats the bug.
Timmy is still known as "that kid that ate the bug" at the 50'th anniversary high school reunion.
--
BMO
This was posted in 2009
http://www.greenkampong.com/food/scientists-makes-meat-from-poo/
and it says in the article that he invented this in 1993.
Still, proabably a fake.
What if the 'feces producer' was a vegetarian ?
Now that's the SHIT!
-- Brought to you by Carl's JR
The Chinese are already eating sewage oil actually http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/7971983/China-goes-organic-after-scandal-of-cooking-oil-from-sewers.html
The Yes Men beat them to it already
Still looks like shit.
Even at 10x the price of regular meat it is the ONLY meat, aside from human placenta, vegans could eat. That in itself could be a market, even if it is a terrible one.
There's meat in the shit!
If you try it and don't like it, you can always say "that burger was shit!" :-P
It was some years ago now, but i want everyone to know that i (*me*) devised a method for the reverse process. I'm still seeking my patent on the methodology.
I have to run and trademark that... :)
I guess if you put it on toast, it really will be Shit on a Shingle.
Introducing the HUMANCENTiPad2.
"You'll get nothing, and you'll like it!"
I believe they call it "hot dog".
As anybody who's an old hand at EVE probably realized: This stuff is Protein Delicacies!
Why stop there? We could be feasting on the shit of all creatures on earth! Mmm endangered tiger poo.
Soylent brown is made of... eww...
But the Slashdot crowd will continue doing just that.
I hope they only plan to feed this to animals that they hate.
I have a question. Why would anyone even *work* on this? I mean, were scientists sitting at lunch kicking around ideas, and one of them picked up his Pulled Pork sandwich, and said "Heyyyyyyy, I just got a thought..."
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
This is most certainly a joke, like the reBurger from Yes Men. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkTG6sGX-Ic
This must taste like Cuttlefish & Asparagus.
Well, this is simply soylent brown.
Are you sure? Normally when mammals are processed into food the crap is literally removed and is used elsewhere or discarded. The movie was kind of short on details, perhaps I'll read the book.
A few things to consider
1. The price of meat is more expensive in Japan then most countries. So saying they'll get the costs down that of japanese meat isn't really a draw card for most other western/american nations.
2. Compleating the food cycle? I thought we got mad-cow disease because we did this very thing with cows. We reduced the food chain and had cows eating cows, Rather then having intermedate agents inbetween.
Now we want to mimic that efficency with humans eating human shit...
To avoid criticism; Say nothing, Do nothing, Be nothing.
Eat recycled food. It's good for the environment, and OK for you!
if (it != oneThing) it = another;
I think I need one of those in my lab. But for now, I'll pass on the s**tburgers. I could get over the aesthetics, but TFA didn't convince me that viruses are eliminated from the raw materials.
Now, the next time I watch Full Metal Jacket, I will be reminded of this article when the line comes up, "It's a big shit sandwich, and everyone has to take a bite."
This space unintentionally left blank.
After visiting a high school cafeteria a Japanese scientist had an idea.....
Are you kidding me!!! I don't care if it's safe or not I'm not eating a shit burger. WOW, another failure for the Jap's.
"the major problem is the psychological barrier"
well, no shit!
"They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
I'm pretty sure my high school cafeteria was doing that in the 80's!
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Right now, we PAY farmers to NOT grow food. Our government does this with our tax money.
America ALONE can produce enough food to feed the world three times over.
The *ONLY* food crisis is economical. We don't want the bottom to drop out of the market. We want to keep the industry's profits maximized. That is *it*.
If you want to solve the global food crisis, adopt socialistic policies. There is plenty of food to go around, with a mountain of leftovers to rot when we are done.
This gives a whole new meaning to "Eat shit!!!"
That fridge definitely says "Shit Burger" on the front.
I can recycle my crap and eat it, but after its been eaten once could I recycle it again? Not saying I could ever bring myself to eat this if I knew what it was.
So that's what the girls in 2 girls 1 cup were doing?
The Yes Men presented the idea of recycled food in one of their videos. This is most definitely part of that idea. Besides, Japan is the country that discovered "night soil" is a terrible thing to introduce into the human food chain, even if only used to fertilize vegetables.
Japanese Scientists At EAC Caught in Insider Trading: Short German Shit-Eating Porn Stocks.
... at meat substitute.
This sig is not paradoxical or ironic.
Currently it costs roughly 10 to 20 times the normal cost of real meat (granted due to research), and once all is said and done, not only will it not be cheaper than regular meat, but it will be around the same price.
What incentive would there be for someone decide to eat turds over meat again? You can't play the vegetarian card, I doubt you could play the taste card, I mean if it were half the price of meat or lower then maybe I can see a market, but the only market I can see is those kind of people who like to crawl in mobile outhouses and just...wait.
What amazes me is they actually label it "poop burger" (unko baagaa) on the white board (when he uses the lady-finger pointer).
"Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life
The Yes Men did this with re-Burger long ago.
or does this hamburger taste like crap?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RRDLzxFXjY
PooFu?
Shit!
If this stuff saves just one whale...
Bear Grylls is gonna be thrilled.
Seems like the biological equivalent of a perpetual motion machine.
Your body already kicked out the contents of your shit once, surely it doesn't want those same nutrients it rejected before does it? Even if we assume the recovered nutrients are useful, and that the issue is simply that we're scavenging the inefficiency of the human digestive system (feeding back accidentally wasted, but useful, fuels), wouldn't this system bring itself quickly to a natural limit within a few cycles of one's digestive system? E.g. if the body accidentally wastes even 25% of the useful food mass, you'll be recovering only a fraction of a percent by the 3rd time through.
The existing meat industry has a huge problem fecal contamination of meat already without adding the more direct risk of actually making meat from it. We're eating traces of cow/chicken/pig shit all the time and don't realise it. The more processed the meat (ie sausage) the more fecal contamination.
(Faeces already being the primary source of E. Coli as food borne pathogen for example).
Now a good fraction of gastric poisoning cases are fecal-oral route of human to human transmission (Which is why you must always wash your freaking hands). If you've ever been part of a norovirus outbreak you'll know how easily it spreads, thats from traces of shit getting eaten.
If you or anyone you know has had food poisoning, norovirus, or the incredibly common rotavirus etc. they've most certainly ingested a trace of someone elses fecal matter, which we all must do indirectly quite often.
We're routinely literally eating shit anyway.
After logging in slashdot still does not take you back to the page you were on. It's been that way for 20 years.
my dog always eats any and all cat shit, bird shit, horse shit, deer shit, any shit except his own shit...his nose is like our eyes, sees everything. So shit apparently has a lot going for it, unless it's your OWN SHIT.
As far as I'm concerned, everything I use/consume has already been eaten and otherwise 'processed' by another human. Astronauts do it, just get over the fact that beef isn't created new just for you.
Sewage sludge is already used as fertilizer. It undergoes a chemical decomposition utilizing microorganisms and is reconstructed by plant life. This is doing the same thing in a laboratory. It could be useful for any self sufficient habitat, such as a space station or floating city.
-Josh Frazer
Posting to highlight parent's wit.
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
A shit sandwich?
How is this different from current meat substitutes?
Hey, I was on the testing panel for this product. Have to admit, it tastes like shite....
Anyone notice the sign on the refrigerator door?
Either this is a joke or some great Engrish.
"If you're gonna eat here, you've got to try the Shitty Soup. Everyone who comes here has the Shitty Soup."
"It doesn't sound that great!"
"It's not - it's awful. That's why they call it 'shitty'. So are you in?"
A couple of thoughts...
Presumably the "market" (as if there is one) for this would be (1) end of the world crowd when their is really no alternative (2) a replacement for tofurkey and the like. In option 1 I choose death. In option 2 I would just like to point out that I eat meat, if you take my "left overs" and turn that into "meat alternative" then you still have meat, albeit pre-digested.
Nothing good can come from this research. I don't care if it cures cancer, still not worth it.
$diff terrorists hippies
$
$rm -rf *terrorists *hippies
Weight loss secrets they don't want you to know about. Informative TV expose at 03:00 in the morning, featuring well known activist and health advisor (_____________), Get our new book for only 10.95 plus 30.00 shipping and handling as well as other offers, and access to our website...Where we will sell you samples of this meat, as well as colon cleansing products, and pills to fill you up and make you want to go more.. Keeps ya reglar.
I laughed because I thought you were making this up, but...
http://www.chacha.com/question/is-there-poop-in-mcdonalds-meat
It's canned as SPAM.
This is apparently an story that has resurface around the web. Only this time it's gotten more attention. Googling with various date range and looking for "Environmental Assessment Center, Okayama, Japan" - "Mitsuyuki Ikeda" gets the same story popping up all the way back to a L.A. Times article dated 1993, and shows an enormous absence fact checking since.
...
From News of the Weird | News of the Weird | Chicago Reader - Related web pages
www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/news-of-the ... "
..."
" 2007 Sep 27, 2007 - The Environmental Assessment Center in Okayama Japan announced in October that it had manufactured an experimental sausage by adding soybean protein and steak flavoring tosewage solids from TokyoSewage isnt really such a dangerous and dirty thing said a spokesman However he did not
Check this http://www.google.com/search?q=Environmental+Assessment+Center,+Okayama,+Japan&hl=en&biw=1062&bih=543&prmd=ivns&sa=X&ei=OoD5TbWtNcTTiALGx9DnBA&ved=0CDgQpQI&tbm=&tbs=tl:1,tlul:1990,tluh:2010
http://www.greenkampong.com/food/scientists-makes-meat-from-poo/
http://forum.prisonplanet.com/index.php?topic=119734.0 (2009)
http://absolutelyfobulous.com/2009/09/03/ooey-gooey-poop-burger/ (1993!!!!)
"Dec 30, 1993 - In October the Environmental Assessment Center in Okayama Japan announced that it had managed to make a sausage out of recycled Tokyo sewage by adding soybean protein and beef flavoring The company does not plan to market the product commercially however citing the main
So it is a genuine news story? Not sure, but smells very fake. Although both the alleged researcher and the organisation do have other mentions on the internet, only the organisation seems to be genuine.
After logging in slashdot still does not take you back to the page you were on. It's been that way for 20 years.
thats just freakin nasty .no way id eat that.note to self dont eat hambugers in japan
A new meat substitute to finally end the controversy of using corn meal, sand, and cow brains and intensives dyed with carmal to make it look like real ground beef.
Or Walmart will jump on it and sell it for DIRT CHEAP and of course people who are frugal will jump on it. LOL
Shudder
http://saveie6.com/
Why not just eat an actual steak?
Seriously. Shit burger? You've got to be kidding me.
It's not even like it's going to be cheaper. The professor believes that it will be the same price as real meat if he can bring it to market.
Wait, is this a delayed April 1 joke?
LK
"Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
Vegatarians Rejoice!
This takes ass to mouth to a whole new level
Skimming over the article tags my tired eyes momentarily interpreted "biotech" as "blech"; how appropriate.
We apologize for the inconvenience.
- "Poo: the other brown meat."
- "Shit's what's for dinner".
- "Just like mom used to make."
- Dr Anus: "respect the anus." (Burger King)
- "Ohh ahh oh ploppin' fresh dough"
- "D is for dookie and that's good enough for me."
- "It's like there's a potty in my mouth"
A man walks up to a table in the supermarket with a sign that says "FREE HORS D'OEUVRES"
"Can I try one?"
"Sure!" Attendant hands him a cracker covered with brown paste...
"This tastes like shit!"
"It is shit! Want to buy a toothbrush?"
Sensationalism, both from the article writer and the scientist.
The process described extract protein and other nutrients from bacteria. Some of the bacteria come from human intestines and some are added artificially to the sewage. In at least Northern Europe and Japan (but not most parts of USA, since USians flush anything (there is usually a garbage disposal unit under their sink to help them with that) down the drain, waste-water in USA is usually to complex to use easy, cheap and efficient cleaning processes), all waste-water coming from dwellings is treated by first mechanical filtering, then by growing bacteria in the sewage, making it a bacteria slur, then most of the water (which is now free from any pathogens or toxins) is extracted and either reused as tap water (e.g. this is done in most large cities in Germany), in agriculture (e.g. Japan) or simply flushed out in freshwater seas (e.g. Sweden). The mass of bacteria left is used as fertiliser in agriculture. This research have found a way to use that mass of bacteria as a source of food more directly.
If you think it is gross to eat bacteria that is present in human intestines, then I have news for you, you already do. That's how the bacteria came to your intestines in the first place. If you're healthy., you have more bacteria in your gut then human cells in your body. It is (mostly) a symbiotic relationship, if you don't have any bacteria in your intestines, you become very sick and malnourished.
Eat shit and live
...to the phrase shit sandwich.
'He who has to break a thing to find out what it is, has left the path of wisdom.' -- Gandalf to Saruman
Then I thought it was just misspelled. Now I'm starting to suspect this research has been going on longer than we give it credit for.
I wonder how many times this.. ehh... product? can be recycled before it turns in to heavy metal?
Yikes
Eww. Is this a perpetual mobile food solution for Mars? Count me out - I want my food to be at least a some plant and fauna cycles away from the waste products..
Insert
While, for the rest of us, it’s hard to believe that any consumers will take a bite out of a poop-sandwich, doing some googling , one will find that there is a long history of the Japanese eating shit (for heath!).
to your local fast food restaurant!
Mmmh... They call them "Shit Burgers". See minute 1:34 in the video.
There's a manga about this. In the future earth is overpopulated. Japanese scientists biongineer some organism that eats up garbage and they can use as a food source. Then it goes rogue, takes over the building and eats people. They bring in an american-developped biongineered waste-disposal-food-source-monster to eat it. Some people are in the building. I stopped reading after that.
This is old news : I remember having read this news at least some 20 years ago !
( in a scientific magazine, not on /. )
you can eat it, but it tastes like...
and their sausages.
If you take them up the anus, does real beef come out of your mouth?
Every year people put crap in their gardens, and, a few months later, edible plants magically appear!
Nonaggression works!
sewage->compost->plants->cow-> STEAK!
Who would eat this slop? What a waste of money and time
- I've got bad karma because I won't parrot everyone else's opinion
I..I like Engl^H^H^H^HJapan just fine... but I ain't eating any 'o that beef!
It's good for the environment, and OK for you!
Not a big deal, my university cafeteria was doing this years ago. Overall, a lot tastier than their Soylent Green burgers.
[Insert pithy quote here]
"Well, you can live on it, but it tastes like shit!"
...telling somebody to eat shit and die.
He who can destroy a thing controls a thing. And if someone WOULD not destroy a thing, it's the same as not being able to. Therefore those who control things will inevitably care less about those things than those who cede control over the things to prevent them from being destroyed.
Unfortunately there's no King Solomon to give the baby to the most caring mother in most cases.
Think about this: Who 'wears the pants' in most families ( especially ones where one does so more than the other )? Who ends up running most companies? What type of person, and what sort of behavior is most common in politics?
Assholes rule the world.
Looks like this guy is making burgers from garbage since 1993.
This is great news for Apple fans! Now they can really consume shit that costs $25 extra!
...of using grass and cows to accomplish the transformation?
Great pulp fiction ref =)
That's just disgusting, no matter how much processing is involved. Ugh. However, when you really think about it, it it all that terribly different from water treatment? The same water you drank today, brushed your teeth with, washed your dishes and clothes with, and showered in, is the essentially the same toilet water someone had diarrhea in two weeks ago. Still, I'll pass.
What would worry me though, is if 25 years from now the process is not only approved and being used in Japan but also underway in other countries such as mine as well, and that the FDA (and other organizations) allow it's use as "byproduct" to pad normal meat such as hamburger, where it could be mixed in; you might not even know it, or even have a choice, unless you got all your hamburger right from a butcher, which could get kinda pricey.
Look back up at my post, now look back down, you're on the Internet. Now look back up. I'm a signature.
I been workin on that one for years...
Wouldn't it have been easier to make soop insted of meat?
Consider the menu items....
Yeah, Ill have a bowl of soy poo special.tks.
Posted to News of the Weird in November of 1993 (as cached on the subgenius website:)
http://www.subgenius.com/subg-digest/v4/0247.html
How about a shake with that burger?
"This world's a great big ball of dirt with fifty billion souls
Who like to sit around and veg down in the dark like moles.
But me I'm just the kind of girl who loves the open air
And bits of unburned hydrocarbons blowing through my hair.
New Soylent Clear, at last it's here, with clearly better taste.
Less people too, like me and you, and less reprocessed waste.
More hearty crunch for snacks or lunch, it's crystal clear to see
New Soylent Clear's the last frontier for folks like you, and meeee!
New Soylent Clear. Clearly less people, clearly more taste!"
The porn industry is already way ahead. They've started making movies even - "two girls one cup".
You Japs are real fuckers, you know that?
Boredom is bliss.
Yuk.
In light of the recent calamity in Japan, I think their scientists should get back to solving real social problems in that country, that is, perfecting the female sex doll. They have made so much progress in recent years and I don't want to see this important work put on the back burner just to invent the ultimate shit sandwich.
Japan, please go back to making realistic sex dolls. We have a real chance here to create the ultimate female. Perfect body, never speaks, never asks for anything, and always in the mood. We're so close. With all the money men will save, we can afford better food than shit burgers.
This is horrible but I can't stop smiling. What is wrong with me?
"No good deed goes unpunished"
I thought that they had been serving this stuff in fast food joints for years!
...infinite poop?
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Austin: "This burger tastes like shit!"
Nigel: "Austin, it is shit!"
Austin: "Oh, so it's not just me, then. It's a bit nutty."
/* No Comment */
Waiter: Welcome to the Gastrointestinal Cafe, Might I recommend the crap-cakes, or perhaps our famous vegetarian scat-burger? – it’s wonderful! Customer: Can you tell me what district you get your sewage from, sir? Waiter: I can assure you it comes from a strictly upper-class community of people with good taste. Also.. Customer: Sounds fine. Does it come with freedom-fries? Waiter: [*smiles and winks*] It wouldn’t be a scat-burger if it didn’t! An extra larger portion actually, with our special dipping Customer: That’ll do. And I’ll have it medium-well too. I just don’t trust rare, no matter who it comes from. Waiter: [*all smiles*] I understand – that’s how I like it too. Customer: And how about your beer menu? Waiter: Oh, for imports we have carbonated urine from France, Belgium, Germany, and Switzerland, and our domestic list includes Milwaukee, Florid Customer: I prefer the real thing; just gimmie a Bud Light in the can. Florida right? Waiter: Yes, and an excellent choice sir; the foreign urine brewing process still hasn’t caught up with Bud. And would you like to try our frumunda-cheese and crackers? It is extracted from selected NFL football champions and is. Customer: ..No, I think that should do. Could you by any chance put in a request for the ass-machine to play the latest Justin Bieber song? I just can’t get it out of my head since arriving here at the port o’let resort. And it’s so catchy!
Waiter: [*smiles*] We’ll have a busboy gas it up right away, but it may take a while – we usually don’t get such shitty requests.
Customer: Thanks so much.
Waiter: If there’s anything else you need, just ask.
Customer: [*reclines in chair, thinks*] “this is the life”. [*fart noises fill the air, and he begins to sing along*]
Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. - Otto von Bismarck