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Man Ordered To Apologize To Wife On Facebook
New submitter Marillion writes "Photographer Mark Byron was so bothered by his pending divorce and child visitation issues that he blasted his soon-to-be ex-wife on his personal Facebook page. That touched off a battle that resulted in a Hamilton County judge ordering Byron jailed for his Facebook rant — and to post on his page an apology to his wife and all of his Facebook friends, something free speech experts found troubling."
It's about how men are shit on in pretty much any divorce case.
Wife alleges you hit her? Off to jail, guilty until proven innocent buddy.
Wife alleges you molested the kids? Say goodbye to your kids forever, pal. Maybe if you're lucky we'll let you see them for a few hours once a month with a supervisor present.
Wife wants child support? We don't care that she's spending all the money on her new ex-con boyfriend's meth lab, you'll pay it or it's jail for you, sparky!
Wife is a drug addict who neglects the kids? Tough luck pal, she's still getting full custody over you. That's what you get for showing up to court with a penis.
Wife won't let YOU have the kids during your court-appointed custody days? File this paperwork. We'll look into it in about a year, if you're lucky.
You won't let HER have the kids during her court-appointed custody days? Freeze, motherfucker! Get you're hands on your head NOW! ON THE GROUND, ASSHOLE! DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT YOU!
Welcome to the world of divorce court, Mark.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Don't they know men give up the first amendment right to free speech the second they get married, if not months or years ahead of time. Particularly when the mother-in-law is in town.
Forced public apologies are not standard punishment for contempt of court, even assuming you agree that he should have been convicted of it. Also: what about spamming his own page with an anti-apology following the required post?
IANAL
Misery loves company. Online misery loves unsuspecting random strangers.
I didn't know you can't bitch about someone on your personal page/blog... I wonder what the sex of the judge is.
Just because you are wrong and I called you out on it doesn't mean I am a Troll.
All I seem to read about is how governments/stalkers/employers/ex spouses/what-have-you use your profile against you.
I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
I was ordered to remove my outgoing message on my answering machine or risk "threatening civil negotiations... and be seen as adversarial...". I explained that it was in fact my phone line, my answering machine and people were calling me. If the ex didn't want to hear it, she in fact did not need to call. But, none-the-less, I had to take it down or all negotiations were off and she would be awarded everything by default.
The machine said that I was in a fugue since my ex had slept around with a number of people and was in fact a whore. Personally, I thought this was just stating fact.
The wife had a restraining order against the estranged husband barring being harassed. She was blocked by him on Facebook. Presumably someone else showed her the post, or she went looking for it. Therefore, the question is does this meet the standard of harassment prohibited by the court order? If so, then regardless of free speech rights he is guilty of violating the court order.
I won't delve into the questions regarding the sentence; I think it's more interesting to discuss whether a post like this should be construed as harassment.
The threats to "end" his wife's life would certainly seem to bear that out.
I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
That does not mean that the punishment is/was illegal - nay, unconstitutional. The guy could be a massive asshat for all I know or care, but that judge is the problem.
Misery loves company. Online misery loves unsuspecting random strangers.
The page is gone. /.'d?
"Sometimes the truth is stupid." - Lawrence, creator of Prime Intellect
I'm getting a story not found at the link. Anyone got another link?
Well, I remarried and things are pretty darn wonderful.
I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
If she did not have access to his profile (being blocked) and he rants about her, isn't this the exact same as getting drunk down at the pub with some mates and doing the whole "I never liked her anyway, she was a bitch" rant? This order seems to say that you aren't allowed to rant or complain about anyone; under penalty of the law.
You're right. I'm wrong. What can I do to make it better?
Apply to all situations, regardless of validity. Present present every 28 days, you'll learn the timing soon enough. Enjoy.
Imagination drew in bold strokes, instantly serving hopes and fears, while knowledge advanced by slow increments...
TFA appears to have been removed, all I can find are /. copiers, except for this on the TFA site. It is a scan of the protective order and includes domestic abuse allegations and some of the text from the facebook wall posts.
Silence is a state of mime.
Anyone notice anything related to family often has female lawyers, female judges, female social workers etc?
Talk about gender discrimination. It's not okay for there to be plenty of men in a place where a lot of control is, but it's fine if it's all women? I think not. It's proven time and time again that both sides equally discriminate and it needs to stop.
Virtual castration on Facebook.
"If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
Just make it as insincere as possible and write it in legalese ("Pursuant to court order 54522451A-L, requiring me to offer written apology...").
No one can force you to BE sorry, even if they force you to apologize.
Saw reference to Hamilton County, expected to read story about a clown operating as head of the court room.
I went to eat some animal crackers and the box said, "Do not eat if seal is broken." I opened the box and sure enough..
"I called the woman a bitch it's true and I'm sorry for it. She can place the punctuation where she pleases."
(With apologies to Richard Brinsley Sheridan, MP)
We have a system that intrinsically thinks of women as sub-adults who can't possibly be responsible for their own actions. If a women gets knocked up out of wedlock, then she must've been seduced by some filthy man. So, any random guy getting any random woman pregnant is responsible for paying X% of his salary to her for 18 years. I have a friend-of-a-friend who hooked up with some random guy in a one-nighter and got pregnant. She was ~30, so should have been smarter about the situation. All she knew was his name and that he was from NY, so she got her lawyer's advice to start cold-calling and sending out letters to every same-named man they found (about 10) trying to get child support. If she was ever able to find the guy, I have no doubt he'd have had to pay her.
I swear to God...I swear to God! That is NOT how you treat your human!
Ah yes, few things are more sincere than a forced apology, doubly so when it is a court that has mandated the apology. That's crazy, these people aren't children.
The story is missing (slashdotted?), so I can't read exactly what he said, but I can't imagine he could say anything jailworthy. What probably got him jailed was something he said to the judge, they've got a lot of leeway about when to apply Contempt of Court.
The link posted is no longer available and I don't see anything else in the news about it. Any other sources?
blindly antisocialist = antisocial
As my dad pointed out when he heard I was getting divorced, "50% of all marriages end in divorce", it makes me really wonder what the future of marriage is. For thousands of years marriage was an involuntary act for the majority of human society. Marriage and procreation were keys to successful survival for a human population, the majority of which was based in an agrarian society. Not so anymore. Marriage is a BIG gamble in so many ways, and when that gamble doesn't pay off, you're left with many "problems" to resolve, etc; that aren't easy to work out and affect you for the rest of your life. I have read about the benefits of marriage, whether they are financial, social, healthwise, etc;, But I really have to wonder, with the way the "First World" is going, technologically, socially, etc; how marriage will fare in the coming decades and centuries.
We play the game with the bravery of being out of range
Dear Wife,
This is my court-ordered apology to you for squandering all my free time on Slashdot when I should be spending it with you cuddling and talking about our feelings.
Sorry!
Ask me about my sig!
You want men to treated as kids instead? Why exactly in your example is the man NOT responsible?
Double standards I guess in favor of your own gender.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Public harassment is still a crime and not a right.
I'm married. 10 years. Completely happy.
There were a few awkward years... it is hard to be close when the kids are babies- but for the most part it's been wonderful. I've never regretted being married. Sure, when an attractive girl walks by I may temporarily think "ahhh- it'd be nice to be able to go after her" - but then you come to your senses 2 secs later and realise how wonderfull your wife is.
I would not go back to being single for a 100 million dollars.
"That's the way to do it" - Punch
A facebook page is intended to be more or less private. This is like having a judge order someone to amend entries in a personal diary. Inevitably that will be the next step if it hasn't happened already. This is going to be another slippery slope toward a police state. Mark my words. We are going to see a lot more of this sort of thing in the next decade. The problem with our dying republic is that the majority of citizens only want freedom for themselves.
Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave.
This is a more detailed view of divorce courts from a man who committed suicide outside of one:-
Last Statement by Tom Ball
A man walks up to the main door of the Keene N.H. County Courthouse, douses himself with gasoline and lights a match. And everyone wants to know why.
Apparently the old general was right. Death is not the worst of evil.
I am due in court the end of the month. The ex-wife lawyer wants me jailed for back child support. The amount ranges from $2,200. to $3,000. depending on who you ask. Not big money after being separated over ten years and unemployed for the last two. But I do owe it. If I show up for court without the money and the lawyer say jail, then the judge will have the bailiff take me into custody. There really are no surprises on how the system works once you know how it actually works. And it does not work anything like they taught you in high school history or civics class.
I could have made a phone call or two and borrowed the money. But I am done being bullied for being a man. I cannot believe these people in Washington are so stupid to think they can govern Americans with an iron fist. Twenty-five years ago, the federal government declared war on men. It is time now to see how committed they are to their cause. It is time, boys, to give them a taste of war.
There are two kinds of bureaucrats you need to know; the ones that say and the ones that do. The bridge between them is something I call The Second Set of Books. I have some figures of the success of their labors. You and I are in these numbers, as well as our spouses and children. But first let me tell you how I ended up in this rabbit hole.
My story starts with the infamous slapping incident of April 2001. While putting my four year old daughter to bed, she began licking my hand. After giving her three verbal warnings I slapped her. She got a cut lip. My wife asked me to leave to calm things down.
When I returned hours later, my wife said the police were by and said I could not stay there that night. The next day the police came by my work and arrested me, booked me, and then returned me to work. Later on Peter, the parts manager, asked me if I and the old lady would be able to work this out. I told him no. I could not figure out why she had called the police. And bail condition prevented me from asking her. So I no longer trusted her judgment.
After six months of me not lifting a finger to save this marriage, she filed for divorce. Almost two years after the incident, I was talking with her on the phone. She told me that night she had called a mental health provider we had for one of the kids. Wendy, the counselor told my then wife that if she did not call the police on me, then she too would be arrested.
Suddenly, everything made sense. She is the type that believes that people in authority actually know what they are talking about. If both she and I were arrested, what would happen to our three children, ages 7,4 and 1? They would end up in State custody. So my wife called the police on her husband to protect the children. And who was she protecting the kids from? Not her husband, the father of these children. She was protecting them from the State of New Hampshire.
This country is run by idiots.
The police sergeant Freyer screwed this up from the get go. When I got the Court Complaint form the box was checked that said Domestic Violence Related. I could not believe that slapping your child was domestic violence. So I looked up the law. Minor custodial children are exempted. Apparently, 93% of American parents still spank, slap or pinch their children. To this day I still wonder if Freyer would have made this arrest if it had been the mother that had slapped the child.
Labeling someone's action as domestic violence in American in the 21st century is akin to labeling someone a Jew in Germany in the 1930's. The entire legal weight of the state is coming down on him. But I consider myself lucky. My family was destroyed. But that poor bastard in Germany
Is if she slept around on him and he can prove it. Video evidence is usually best (no I'm not kidding) but pictures are usually ok. Having watch a number of friends (and myself on a not so contentious one) ride that ride the ONLY ones who didn't get completely screwed over where the ones who had evidence that their spouse cheated on them.
The one who found out by finding a video of his wife screwing the neighbor won the biggest. He got sole physical custody of the children and permission to move without regard for his ex. He also got child support etc...
I'll meet you at the intersection of "Should be" and "Reality"
Why is everything always different on the internet? If you rant somewhere else in public, do you then get dragged into *having* to apologize?
This is making me want to change my name to one of those Glyphs so that it screws with the data tracking software going everywhere.
My first Journal Entry ever, in 8 years! http://slashdot.org/journal/365947/aphelion-scifi-fantasy-horror-poetry-webzine
This sounds very familliar to another case a few months back. The thing to remember is that the guy has a restraining order in effect that he is restrained from doing anything to cause his wife “to suffer physical and/or mental abuse, harassment, annoyance, or bodily injury.” His wife does not have to directly read the posts on the site to be harrassed or annoyed. They probably have mutual friend who could forward the posts; indirect harassment and or annoyance.
As for requiring to post an apology, there are many cases where people and companies have been ordered to publically apologize for their conduct. Such apologies need to be done in the same venue as the damage. In this case the issue was caused on Facebook and needs to be addresses on Facebook.
"Freedom of speech" has never been completely free. There have always been limits including, as in this case, court orders. The main thing to remember is that when under a restraing order follow it and shut up.
Admit it, you just like being one of the few on /. that have gotten laid.
I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
For now...
Well... that is a definately a plus side. I certainly get a lot more as a married man than I did when I was single. It's nice to know I don't have to go more than a few days without relief if I don't want to.
"That's the way to do it" - Punch
I often lament the fact that I'm single.
This, along with the stories of all the bullshit my friends have to deal with in their relationships, makes me wonder why I lament it at all.
I should be happy I'm single and can direct my own life.
*brofist to all the other single Slashdotters*
Easy - exposure and duration.
Rant in public - the moment you shut up, unless someone happened to tape it, it's gone. Also, even if you're a loudmouth, only the people a block away can hear you.
Rant on the internet - well, now the whole world can read it, and people archive stuff all the time, so what you say can hang around for years and decades.
That's the difference. That childish rant on USENET you had 10 years ago? Probably shows up in a Google search today available to everyone. That childish tantrum you threw, only the few who heard it know.
Basically the internet, for better or worse, records down everything for posterity forever.
All right, all right, I apologize... I'm really really sorry... I apologize unreservedly... I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my remarks may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat such a slander at any time in the future.
Divorce sucks and the courts are SO biased against men/for women that it's pathetic
Well, if I were a gambling man (and I am), I would bet on us.
If you are bitter after a divorce, chances are you were the problem.
I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
Maybe so, but 9 years later it hasn't.
I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
Wife apologize to Facebook.
This sig is not paradoxical or ironic.
Bitter, I am not. Just realistic.
My ex went on to marry another shortly after we divorced and left him after 13 months. She is still technically married to him since she can't divorce him due to an underwater mortgage, but she is living with another man whom she is presently engaged to. I have full custody of our kids. I don't think the problem was me.
You can never, despite how close you are to another human being, predict how that person will be in the future. I would have never believed anyone who would have suggested my ex would change how she did.
Women marry men thinking they can change them. Men marry women thinking they will never change. They are both wrong.
Was the Judge in this case name "Constance Harm" by any chance?
"MIT betrayed all of its basic principles."
http://xkcd.com/327/
Seconded. Like you, there is 0% chance of me being mind and dollar fucked into oblivion. I own every toy and electronic I ever wanted. I go where I want, when I want. I work as much as I like (which is a lot), and I don't get guilt tripped. One day I will find a woman that is compatible with the above, and she will be goddamn amazing. Then I'll share everything I have with her. Until then, I carry on.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
I'm married. 10 years. Completely happy.
Only animals are completely happy, as they can't remember the past, or imagine the future.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
Agreed as well. I think its great news that more and more people are waiting until they are 30+ until getting married. Statistically, the chances of getting divorced decrease as your age approaches 30-35. By that time most of us have figured out what we want out of our careers and relationships. While I don't deny the court system is slanted towards women, it's sad to read all these hateful comments. I wonder how many of these failed marriages could have been avoided entirely if the couple hadn't rushed into marriage.
This case disturbs me. Although from reading about half the comments here the phrase "domestic violence" didn't come up, I wanted to share here a web site I run that offers information and social support to male victims of domestic violence: http://abusedmen.org/ I'm going to share a link to this page on that site. A woman who goes after a man for everything he's got in a divorce when he's done nothing to deserve that is, very strongly in my mind, a form of domestic violence. To all men out there who have ever been shafted in any way by a crazy lady backed by "the law" I say: we do need to fight this. Feminism was supposed to balance things out, not unbalance them in the other direction. Let's bring things back to a balance and make things equitable for both sexes (and all genders).
With a mantra like that, no one is surprised that you are single.