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Disney to Acquire Lucasfilm, Star Wars Episode 7 Due In 2015

Jason Levine writes "Disney will acquire Lucasfilm, including the Star Wars trilogy. Additionally, Star Wars: Episode 7 is due to be released in 2015, with more feature films on the way. George Lucas said, 'For the past 35 years, one of my greatest pleasures has been to see Star Wars passed from one generation to the next. It's now time for me to pass Star Wars on to a new generation of filmmakers. I've always believed that Star Wars could live beyond me, and I thought it was important to set up the transition during my lifetime. I'm confident that with Lucasfilm under the leadership of Kathleen Kennedy, and having a new home within the Disney organization, Star Wars will certainly live on and flourish for many generations to come.'"

78 of 816 comments (clear)

  1. Huh? by greenguy · · Score: 5, Funny

    *checks date* ...Still October..

    --
    What if I do the same thing, and I do get different results?
    1. Re:Huh? by toriver · · Score: 4, Funny

      I think it's a Halloween thing, they try to scare us...

    2. Re:Huh? by niado · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Seconded, I literally glanced at the calendar after reading this summary.

    3. Re:Huh? by vlm · · Score: 4, Funny

      *checks date* ...Still October..

      Its the traditional "october surprise" we have toward the end of a presidential election cycle.

      I'm not sure who is supposed to benefit by this one. Easily the weirdest one in history.

      --
      "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
    4. Re:Huh? by Melkman · · Score: 4, Funny

      Darth Mickey?

      How long before we see a T-shirt with Mickey holding a light saber and the text below it:
      Minnie, I am your father.....

    5. Re:Huh? by yotto · · Score: 4, Funny

      How long before we see a T-shirt with Mickey holding a light saber and the text below it:
      Minnie, I am your father.....

      Never, unless you happen upon it in the 10 seconds between when it's posted, and when Disney sues the everloving fuck out of the creator.

    6. Re:Huh? by mrsquid0 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Sith MacFarlane? It would have been interesting.

      --
      Just because you are paranoid does not mean that no-one is out to get you.
    7. Re:Huh? by mrsquid0 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Just imagine Leia and Amidala as Disney princesses...

      --
      Just because you are paranoid does not mean that no-one is out to get you.
    8. Re:Huh? by Zephyn · · Score: 5, Funny

      Minnie must be his sister, then. Donald would be a better choice behind the breathing mask, anyway. Anger leads to the Duck Side.

    9. Re:Huh? by readin · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I love it. I can totally imagine Scrooge McDuck as Obi-wan Kenobi. Old, wise, tough as nails. Huey, Duey and Louie as the new generation of Jedi bringing back the old ways of hard work and honor!

      --
      I often don't like the choices people make, but I like the fact that people make choices. That's why I'm a conservative.
    10. Re:Huh? by Mabhatter · · Score: 4, Informative

      I really prefer that Seth Green guy better. The Robot Chicken sendup was funnier.

    11. Re:Huh? by MathFox · · Score: 4, Informative

      There already is a picture of Mickey crossing light-sabers: http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/63819000/jpg/_63819199_starwars.jpg (Minnie is in the picture too. *sigh*)

      --
      extern warranty;
      main()
      {
      (void)warranty;
      }
  2. I felt a great disturbance in the Force by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

    1. Re:I felt a great disturbance in the Force by i+kan+reed · · Score: 4, Funny

      It took that long for the force to tell you about Episode 1? Jedi should maybe invest in cell phones.

    2. Re:I felt a great disturbance in the Force by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 4, Informative

      as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly...

      It ain't no trick to get rich quick
      If you dig dig dig with a shovel or a pick
      In a mine! In a mine! In a mine! In a mine!
      Where a million diamonds shine!
      Heigh ho, heigh ho, we'll rape your memories you know.

    3. Re:I felt a great disturbance in the Force by Splab · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I've really hated how so many movies lately has been redone, but I'd be hard pressed to come up with anything that deserves a proper reboot more than the Star Wars episode 1 to 3.

    4. Re:I felt a great disturbance in the Force by Fallingcow · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Are you kidding? Great news!

      Now there's a small chance that we'll at least get transfers of the film reels from the early '90s THX-enhanced theater releases to BluRay, if not an even better cleaned-up version of the originals.

      Thank God George "we destroyed all the pre-Special Edition copies in the course of making it" Lucas' lying ass is finally out of the way. Bring on the hi-def, unmolested (well, mostly unmolested, at least) original trilogy!

      Disney loves money. Doing this will make them truckloads of money and cost very little.

    5. Re:I felt a great disturbance in the Force by jythie · · Score: 4, Informative

      That is part of the enthusiasm that is perplexing me.. have people forgotten about Disney's behavior when it comes to releases... they are no stranger to locking away movies for decades or releasing edited versions... Lucas, while somewhat misguided, at least believed he was making things better and wanted people watching his stuff. Disney is too politically entangled when it comes to content and is into the 'artificial scarcity' model of releasing older works.

    6. Re:I felt a great disturbance in the Force by LanMan04 · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Starship Troopers? NO WAY.

      That movie is a masterpiece, dripping with satire. A PERFECT tribute to Heinlein and his crazy jingoistic views.

      Directed by the same guy who did RoboCop, ALSO dripping with satire.

      --
      With the first link, the chain is forged.
  3. It is October by jgtg32a · · Score: 4, Informative

    Not April

  4. Obligatory by albeit+unknown · · Score: 5, Funny

    Noooooo!!!!

    1. Re:Obligatory by dgatwood · · Score: 4, Funny

      Obligatory links:

      http://nooooooooooooooo.com (seems to be down at the moment)

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWaLxFIVX1s

      --

      Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.

  5. Joss Whedon's Star Wars by Sez+Zero · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Disney/Marvel have Joss Whedon under contract through 2015. Just sayin'.

    1. Re:Joss Whedon's Star Wars by morcego · · Score: 4, Interesting

      You know, if Joss Whedon takes over writing AND directing, it might actually work.

      --
      morcego
    2. Re:Joss Whedon's Star Wars by Ghostworks · · Score: 4, Funny

      Careful, they might just jump ahead to directly buying Joss Whedon.

    3. Re:Joss Whedon's Star Wars by Herkum01 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Reports have confirmed Joss Whedon is going to harvest Yellow Stone National Park of all lumber. When confronted with this information Joss replied,

      I am going to create the best and largest set of (wooden) actors that you will ever find. It will be a seamless transition from episodes 1 to 3. Even Lucas himself will not believe that he did not direct it.

    4. Re:Joss Whedon's Star Wars by Zinho · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Back in '06 Disney basically payed Pixar to come and fix the problems in their animation department, too. Disney's turned a corner since Michael Eisner left, and doesn't scare me as much as it used to.

      --
      "Space Exploration is not endless circles in low earth orbit." -Buzz Aldrin
    5. Re:Joss Whedon's Star Wars by ottothecow · · Score: 5, Insightful
      Let him rewrite the Zahn trilogy for screen and it might have a chance (but I doubt it will appeal to the kind of audience Disney wants...)

      There is so much star wars content (that has been blessed by way of licensing agreements) that takes place after the original trilogy that it seems like there would be no room to write anything original and not make it suck.

      --
      Bottles.
    6. Re:Joss Whedon's Star Wars by lymond01 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Joss Whedon's Star Wars would be a bigger disaster than three episodes about Jar Jar.

      I disagree. Serenity made me feel like Star Wars all over again: fun, smart, adventurous, light-hearted, but also thoughtful. Joss aces that kind of stuff. See Avengers for details.

    7. Re:Joss Whedon's Star Wars by morcego · · Score: 5, Informative

      No, Joss Whedon is the same as George Lucas: they both work well with supervision. Compare the Firefly comics with the series, so many things are just out of character and wrong in the comics, because Joss was unsupervised.

      I will have to dispute that, and submit Dr. Horrible and Much Ado as evidence. Joss Whedon was 100% unsupervised when doing those.

      --
      morcego
    8. Re:Joss Whedon's Star Wars by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Are you sure you're not confusing Serenity (the movie) with Firefly (the series)?

      The series was great. The movie was one of those great disappointments, where you feel like some studio exec said, "OK, we know we aren't getting a sequel, so let's ignore the entire back story and personality of our characters, throw in loads of gratuitous SFX and action scenes, and focus on only one or two characters out of a great ensemble cast while reducing the others to supporting roles or tragic-fate-fodder."

      Whedon's done some good work in his time, but IMHO Serenity was a low point.

      --
      If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
  6. Really ? by Ziest · · Score: 4, Funny

    Can't wait for "Star Wars on Ice"

    --
    Another day closer to redwood heaven
  7. Episode V by Russ1642 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    He passed on the role of director to Irvin Kershner for the second film. He should have never returned to directing. Or casting. Or screenwriting.

  8. ILM/PIXAR/DISNEY by Holi · · Score: 4, Informative

    Seems fitting as Disney has already picked up a few of the older ILM guys when they acquired Pixar.

    --
    Sorry, teleporters just kill you and then make a copy. A perfect, soul-less copy.
  9. Because it worked so well before by Hatta · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Disney's acquisition of Pixar, Marvel, and the Muppets just worked out so well before. Although, they could hardly do worse than Lucas has.

    --
    Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
    1. Re:Because it worked so well before by i+kan+reed · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Your post reads as intensely sardonic and sarcastic, but I've seen only one failing from post-disney pixar(cars 2), and the marvel productions have been pretty good. Am I misreading sarcasm?

    2. Re:Because it worked so well before by DontScotty · · Score: 5, Informative

      Yeah - Marvel was SUCH a bad buy for Disney, and horrible for Marvel...

      5/7/2010 Disney Iron Man 2 $128,122,480
      5/4/2012 Disney Marvel's The Avengers $207,438,708

    3. Re:Because it worked so well before by spire3661 · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Pixar bought Disney, not the other way around. Steve Jobs' estate is the single largest Disney shareholder which he acquired by 'selling' Pixar.

      --
      Good-bye
    4. Re:Because it worked so well before by David_Hart · · Score: 4, Informative

      No, for PIXAR to have "bought" Disney, Jobs would have to have ended up with over 50% of Disney holdings. Instead, he received approximately 7% of Disney stock as part of the stock swap. While this did make him the single largest shareholder of Disney, he did not end up with enough stock to control the company. Two of the top institutional holders together (4% each) could easily outvote him (and now his estate).

      Then again, why let facts get in the way of a good story...

    5. Re:Because it worked so well before by houghi · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Are those the losses the Hollywood accountants came up with?

      --
      Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
  10. Pixar + ILM by ScentCone · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Two shops full of the best brains working under the same virtual roof. Might be interesting. Especially if we get writing/direction from someone other than George. Love ya, George, but hopefully the only wooden acting we'll see from now on will by Woody The Cowboy.

    --
    Don't disappoint your bird dog. Go to the range.
    1. Re:Pixar + ILM by rritterson · · Score: 4, Interesting

      In a little bit of irony, Pixar was originally part of ILM -- 1/3 of the Computer Graphics division. 26 years later, the two companies are back under the same umbrella.

      --
      -Ryan
      AUWYHSTOT (Acronyms are Useless When You Have to Spell Them Out Too)
  11. Best hope now Mayan end of world event by RichMan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ok I just flipped my opinion from "so what the Mayans are just issuing a calendar for the next year" to "oh noos signs of the apocalypse".

  12. Lucas also said: by dreamchaser · · Score: 4, Funny

    "It's not my fault!"

    Personally, I have a bad feeling about this.

  13. Could be worse.. by spiffmastercow · · Score: 5, Insightful

    At least Lucas won't be in charge anymore.

  14. Re:Star Wars: Episode 7... by mschaffer · · Score: 4, Funny

    Star Wars VII: A New New Hope

  15. "Starting from -infinity, got nothing to lose" by DontScotty · · Score: 4, Funny

    It couldn't get any worse -

    Holy Conception for Anakin?

    Jedi's who are ruling the muther-phkin galaxy not realizing that one who will "bring balance to the force" would knock them down because at that time - it was out of balance - the GOOD side was winning!

    And, Greedo shooting first?

    These three things are a quick list to explain why an infant in a diaper scrawling on a wall with their own excrement could form a better Star Wars narrative than Lucas.

  16. Irony by Dan+East · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Back in 1979 Disney produced a film called "The Black Hole". As a 10 year old I actually really liked the movie when I saw it back in the early 80s (on the newly-created Disney Channel of course), but it was considered one of Disney's biggest movie flops. It was pretty much a blatant rip-off of Star Wars, and was certainly an attempt to try and cash in on the huge popularity of Star Wars. The film had all the basic pieces - spaceships, laser guns, "ESP" kind of extrasensory stuff going on (aka The Force), and of course Robots.

    So now, 33 years later, it looks like Disney finally got the real thing. The actual Star Wars franchise.

    On a different note, I can't help but wonder if Lucas is in poor health. He always hated Hollywood, and despised studios having any control over his creative process. So for him to sell his own film company, which he built from scratch, to a major studio goes against everything he's said and done for decades.

    --
    Better known as 318230.
    1. Re:Irony by darronb · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I have "The Black Hole", and watched as a kid too. To qualify as a blatant rip-off, I'd think the movies would have to be at least somewhat similar.

      While technically the common items you mention are present in both... they are extremely different in presentation. There MAY be points where running away from stormtroopers in the death star could be similar to running away from Max in that huge ship... I don't really see much in common here.

      Could "The Black Hole" be an attempt to capitalize on the interest in space Star Wars, etc created? Sure, it's possible. That doesn't make it a rip off. They're not remotely similar in feel at all.

      The Black Hole gave me nightmares as a little kid (Max's spinning blades killing that guy). I've always seen it as really dark almost-horror film. It's a crazy mad scientist makes killer robots and turns people into freakish automatons. That's a little different than a rough group of rebels fighting a galactic empire.

      Heck, Phantasm feels more like "The Black Hole" to me than Star Wars does. That may be the scarred little kid in me talking, though. ;)

  17. I'm Optimistic by seepho · · Score: 5, Insightful

    How can anyone not be pleased by this news? Any nerd I've ever interacted with had already written off any new Star Wars movies coming out of Lucasfilm. Even if the new movies are somehow worse than the prequel trilogy, it's not like we were expecting anything good. The only thing that could change my view of the franchise would be if Disney could breath some new life into it and make something worth watching.

    1. Re:I'm Optimistic by jigamo · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Disney has confirmed plans for a new trilogy (Episodes 7-9), and the movies are currently in "early stage development." They're looking to release a movie every other year, with 2015, 2017, and 2019 as the current target dates.

      I'm personally rooting for expanding into some of Timothy Zahn's books as they move beyond those. I wonder how they'll treat the Extended Universe?

      --
      Save money on your cell phone bill: Republic Wireless
    2. Re:I'm Optimistic by ackthpt · · Score: 4, Funny

      Disney has confirmed plans for a new trilogy (Episodes 7-9), and the movies are currently in "early stage development." They're looking to release a movie every other year, with 2015, 2017, and 2019 as the current target dates.

      I'm personally rooting for expanding into some of Timothy Zahn's books as they move beyond those. I wonder how they'll treat the Extended Universe?

      Pirates of Coruscant

      Johnny Depp as Luke Skywalker - you heard it here first.

      First Sandy as a disaster, now this.

      --

      A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
    3. Re:I'm Optimistic by asdf7890 · · Score: 5, Informative

      There are a couple of people/groups out there who are trying to take the highest quality versions and mix out all the changes. "Harmy's STAR WARS Despecialized Edition" is said to be the best by far at the moment - available on most moderately disreputable trackers.

    4. Re:I'm Optimistic by YukariHirai · · Score: 5, Informative

      Oh, yes there are. Or were, at least. They were "bonus discs" with one of the Special Edition DVD releases, but they were officially sanctioned DVDs of the original theatrical cuts. Episode IV was even just plain Star Wars in the opening text.

    5. Re:I'm Optimistic by MightyMartian · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I think it more likely that the villains that run Disney will shut the whole expanded universe down. Lucas didn't mind it, because it kept Star Wars going while he was busy with other things. But Disney, they're going to capitalize the living fuck out of the whole thing, and that means anyone writing expanded universe material is likely going to meet a nice new gatekeeper, and watch out all you fanfic guys, Disney will tip you upside and down and shake you for whatever loose change you have.

      --
      The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
    6. Re:I'm Optimistic by Doctor_Jest · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Because it's fucking DISNEY. The reason the copyright extension act was called (more appropriately) the Mickey Mouse Protection Act. Disney puts their stupid movies in "the vault" after a short run on shelves. (Saving them for "a generation" or some other marketspeak nonsense)... They pretty much emptied the Public Domain like a hemophiliac hooker in Queens. They also have been one of the largest herpe-stained-pricks when it comes to copyright tomfoolery and outright thievery. They love DRM. The kind of DRM that makes Yoda say "shit, this is."

      Truth be told, we didn't NEED another Star Wars movie (not Indiana Jones either), and with a few glaring exceptions the Clone Wars TV series has been pretty good... I mean, they reboot Star Trek every few decades, why not let Disney yank their collective puds and splooge out some new restarted Star Wars "adventure" with fuzzy bunnies and fucking MUSICAL NUMBERS. They put fucking musical numbers in ALL their animation. Hell, they do it to live action!

      Mark my words.... Episode 7 will be all goddamned Ewoks. And Chewbacca will have a perm and PTSD from the final battle. Then we have to have the token black guy/chick... forget Billy Dee Williams. We're getting Will Smith or his bratty little kid. C3P0 will finally come out of the closet and admit he's been taking it up the exhaust pipe from IG-88 for years. R2D2 will be turned into a karaoke machine.... Luke will become a homeless religious nut while Han Solo and Leia will have 6 kids on galactic welfare... and the evil Ritt Momney will threaten to close the youth center Han and Leia run unless the duo can field a tiddlywinks team in time for the big tournament on Yaavin IV. Meanwhile, the Emperor's clones will become the universe's ugliest choir.

      Now I know the franchise is truly dead. Thank goodness I got it on Blu Ray before Disney got their slimy dickskinners on the franchise. Disney fucked the Muppets... (I believe they killed Henson because he was having second thoughts on the sale... ok, so I made that up... but Disney's fucking evil!)

      --
      It's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
    7. Re:I'm Optimistic by TWX · · Score: 5, Informative

      But they're matted widescreen Laserdisc rips. They're literally 4:3 ratio with the black bars at the top and bottom as part of the image itself. If you show them on a 16:9 screen you have to use the zoom feature to get the film to fit the width of the screen, which means that you are only using a very small portion of the 480 rows available in DVD format, as most of the image is spent on those useless black bars.

      --
      Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
    8. Re:I'm Optimistic by Doctor_Jest · · Score: 4, Funny

      I forgot to add...

      "Disney's JEDIS on ICE", "A Very Jedi Christmas", "Zack and Cody's Jedi Adventures", "Luke Skywalker: Jedi detective", "A Very Muppet Star Wars"... "Jabba's sweatin' to the Cantina Band"..... and my personal favorite... "Star Wars Holiday Special 2: Electric Boogaloo."

      This has disaster written all over it. Lucas' new squeeze must want more money. :)

      --
      It's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
    9. Re:I'm Optimistic by Keen+Anthony · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hmm. Does this mean Princess Leia is now a Disney princess?

  18. Re:What's the plot? by Mike+Buddha · · Score: 5, Funny

    Emperor is dead. Vader comes back from the Dark Side and also dies. Luke & Leia know they're siblings.

    Seriously, what's the plot going to be?

    Jar-Jar becomes a Jedi!

    --
    by Mike Buddha -- Someday the mountain might get him, but the law never will.
  19. Possibility of original edition Blu-rays? by JDG1980 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    So does this mean we might finally get high-definition releases of the original Star Wars films without all of Lucas's later alterations?

    1. Re:Possibility of original edition Blu-rays? by Pontiac · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Yes but only for a limited time before they go back into the Disney vault for a generation or until a new format comes out.! Buy the DVD/Blu-Ray/Digital copy super double Platinum edition today before it's gone!

      --
      If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur. --Red Adair
  20. Mickey Mouse and Luke Skywalker... by N0Man74 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Mickey Mouse and Luke Skywalker will both never leave copyright now. Ever.

  21. Copyright by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I think the biggest problem with Disney getting their hands on Star Wars is the copyright issue. Lucas Film has always been really good about letting people parody Star Wars. There have been endless books, spoofs, homages and fan creations based around Star Wars. Disney is notorious for being dicks about, well everything, but definitely about copyright. If they take over Star Wars then I'm worried fan creations, spoofs and other expanded universe material will disappear under threat of legal action.

  22. THRAWN! by raaum · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Now that he's selling it, who cares what his original "vision" was for episodes 7 and beyond? Grand Admiral Thrawn is the obvious direction to take.

  23. Re:Seriously? by MrFlibbs · · Score: 5, Funny

    Let the wailing and gnashing of teeth begin! Then again, it couldn't be worse than episodes 1 and 2.

    Oh yeah? Picture this: Luke Skywalker's son flying off to be trained in the ways of the force by an aging Jar-Jar Binks. After stopping on the way to pick up Chewbacca's son. On Life Day.

    Bet that's the scariest thought you'll have this Halloween.

  24. I know the subtitle... by dkf · · Score: 5, Funny

    Star Wars 7: The Search for More Money!

    --
    "Little does he know, but there is no 'I' in 'Idiot'!"
  25. I'm pessimistic! by plover · · Score: 5, Insightful

    For 35 years, George Lucas has permitted derivative fan-based works to thrive. He's a kid at heart who gains great personal pleasure from seeing so many people embrace his movies and characters.

    Disney, on the other hand, is one of the ringleaders of the MPAA, pushing for crap like the DMCA and most noticeably the insane copyright extensions. They're infamous for cracking down on anyone who so much as fingerpaints mouse-ears on a poster of Obama without first licensing said use of mouse-ears. Under a Disney regime, I expect to see any post that so much as mentions a "light saber" as takedown fodder.

    As far as extending the franchise, do you really want to watch "The Littlest Sith" or "Sleeping Jedi", or some other straight-to-DVD animated dreck?

    --
    John
    1. Re:I'm pessimistic! by MrNiceguy_KS · · Score: 5, Funny

      I have a bad feeling about this.

      --
      Redundancy is good And also good.
    2. Re:I'm pessimistic! by Applekid · · Score: 5, Funny

      The next trailer:

      Scene filled with mist, lamentful orchestration of A New Hope

      Narrator: A long time ago in a galaxy far away...

      Mist parts and slow zoom in towards a small hut village

      Narrator: It's just as hard being a kid as ever

      Scene changes to inside a dark, wooden hut. You see the back of a woman wearing a long dress, but not her arms or the back of her head.

      Mom: You had better eat all those vegitables!

      Scene changes to a shot of a table with an 8 year old furry kid sitting at it, trying to feed his space broccoli to his pet alien dog thing.

      Kid: Aw man!

      Mom: Corbin! How will you ever become a big strong Ewok?

      Narrator: Sometimes the world lines up against you...

      Scene set in a schoolhouse. Music stops

      Bully Ewok: You'll never amount to anything Corbutt!

      Narrator: And tries to FORCE it's will upon you

      Scene shot goes wider, and bully Ewok knocks the books out of Corbin's hand and all his fellow classmates point and laugh.

      Scene changes to a shot of Corbin on his bed playing with his pet alien.

      Corbin: I wish I could be a hero like uncle Skywalker...

      Pans to a framed picture portrait on his desk showing a pregnant Ewok standing and smiling next to Luke and Leia.

      Narrator: Until the littlest Ewok found his place in the universe

      Song changes to Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic

      Scene changes to the forest, and a smaller, pinker version of Jar Jar Binks shows her head out from behind a tree.

      Car Car: Hi, meesah Car Car!

      Laughing while they run through the trees, splash in rivers, meet Chewbacca's kid, etc etc etc

      --
      More Twoson than Cupertino
  26. Re:I hereby tag this event: by craigminah · · Score: 4, Funny

    Love the tag "noooooooo". I keep this URL handy at work, for emergencies: http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/

    Always makes me grin.

  27. Re:buncha depraved mammon worshippers by Belial6 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    In the same way that people who copy movies are 'Pirates', Disney is a 'child molester'.

  28. Re:What's the plot? by CaptainStumpy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Phantom's visual effects supervisor Rob Coleman recently told a seminar that he brought his concerns to George Lucas, who told him that he had designed Jar Jar to appeal to small children. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0171197/news?year=1999 Now with the disney ties, jar jar will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!

    --
    It will be better to purchase from an owner who is a good farmer and a good builder.
  29. How about a re-boot of Episodes I through III? by Slutticus · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Screw the later ones. Redo!
    Episode I: Directed by J.J. Abrams
    Episode II: Directed by Christopher Nolan
    Episode III: Directed by Guillermo del Toro

  30. comics licensees lose out... again by tverbeek · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Now watch Dark Horse Comics, which has had the Star Wars comics license for ages, producing some of the best "extended universe" material in the franchise, helping to maintain the fanbase during the dark time between RotJ and TPM... get screwed out of it, because Disney has its own comics publisher (Marvel). That's what happened with Boom Comics, which was developing a rather good line of comics featuring Disney-owned characters, but lost it when Disney bought Marvel. In both cases, good small independent publishers got screwed by The Mouse.

    --
    http://alternatives.rzero.com/
  31. May the Open Force be with you by Tablizer · · Score: 4, Funny

    How about we form an open-source space drama with open-source characters? Open-source projects usually have StarWars-like names anyhow. I was certain "Ogg Vorbis" was a StarWars character when I first heard it.

    Try this one out: R2buntu. Or Darth Vi-der vs. the Emoks.

  32. 2.000.000.000 in CASH!? by allcoolnameswheretak · · Score: 4, Funny

    2 BILLION in cash? That must be a Calamari Cruiser full of bills! Don't these people have bank accounts? Whats the point of paying such a huge amount of money in cash? Does George intend to fill his house with money and perform some weirdo Scrooge McDuck impersonation?

  33. I like where this is going by shiftless · · Score: 5, Funny

    Episode IV: Directed by Quentin Tarantino.

    "That's not a moon....that's a mother fuckin space station!"