Slashdot Mirror


Ask Slashdot: What Would a Constructed Language Have To Be To Replace English?

Loren Chorley writes: The idea of constructing a language capable of replacing English has fascinated me for a long time. I'd like to start a project with some of my own ideas and anyone who's interested, but I'd really like to hear what the Slashdot community thinks on the topic first. Taking for granted that actually replacing English is highly unlikely, what characteristics would the new language need? More specifically: How could the language be made as easy as possible to learn coming from any linguistic background? How could interest in the language be fostered in as many people as possible? What sort of grammar would you choose and why? How would you build words and how would you select meanings for them, and why? What sounds and letters (and script(s)) would you choose? How important is simplicity and brevity? How important are aesthetics (and what makes a language aesthetic)? What other factors could be important to consider, and what other things would you like to see in such a language?

626 comments

  1. Easy grammar by nospam007 · · Score: 4, Informative

    no irregular verbs, we could call it, let's say ^'Esperanto.

    1. Re:Easy grammar by Locke2005 · · Score: 2, Informative

      My thoughts exactly. A human-spoken language designed from scratch to be simple and easy to learn? It's been done, Esperanto. And, since my mother learned it in the '50s, it's been around for a while. How long have UN documents been available in Eperanto? Been there, done that... Why reinvent the wheel?

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    2. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Esperanto is a Frankenstein of a language, completely useless in order to make everyone feel cozy. If you want to create a good language, use something properly standardized like Spanish as base and remove all oddities kept by tradition (irregular verbs, accents, etc)

    3. Re:Easy grammar by dakotapearl · · Score: 3, Interesting

      The problem with Esperanto is that it isn't easy to learn. It's easier than French and English, but for anyone who grew up in Asia for example it's actually quite difficult because of it's European bias. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E...

    4. Re:Easy grammar by Jhon · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Forget Esperanto. There's a new language already being developed for the masses. Newspeak.

    5. Re:Easy grammar by Dr.+Evil · · Score: 0

      I have been told that it has more popularity in Japan because it's an easy gateway to learning European languages.

      By "popularity" I mean slightly less overwhelming disinterest. It would be interesting to hear from a Japanese-geek on it.

      Anyone interested in Esparanto should watch Incubus http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059311/. A must for Shatner fans too. Pre-trek. The mix of Spanish, Italian and French "accents" also shows a subtle problem with synthetic languages.

    6. Re:Easy grammar by ichabod801 · · Score: 3, Informative

      The problem with Esperanto is that it isn't easy to learn. It's easier than French and English, but for anyone who grew up in Asia for example it's actually quite difficult because of it's European bias. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E...

      Lojban tries to solve this problem. I don't know how well they succeed.

    7. Re: Easy grammar by Miamicanes · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Irregular verbs exist for a reason... they're the verbs that get used the most, and the irregularities are how people either eliminate redundancy or add additional shades of meaning that most normal verbs can live without.

      Ditto, for "silent letters" in English. They're how we disambiguate homonyms (ex: to/too/two).

      If English had official "tones" like Mandarin, we could distinguish between meanings of "fuck" used as a verb in writing, to visually indicate things like sarcasm. Actually, in a way, English *does* have an informal "system" of indicating the equivalent of _tones_ -- quotation marks, underlines, italics, boldface, and wikitext markup.

      Any conlang that *really* gets used by **real** people as their "real" language will quickly mutate and become as irregular as English or Spanish.

    8. Re:Easy grammar by myowntrueself · · Score: 0

      There are tons of natural languages, ie not Esperanto, which could easily replace English in terms of easy grammar and pronunciation. Theres no need to invent another one.

      The problem is that English, a true bastard of a language in every sense of the word, has become the 'Lingua Franca' of the modern age. Its really sad because English is so very very fucked up.

      --
      In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
    9. Re:Easy grammar by Tablizer · · Score: 2

      [Esperanto is] actually quite difficult because of it's European bias

      Is it possible to not be biased toward a region's patterns and style? For example, it could be made tone-based to be more compact, like many Asian languages, but Europeans would be more likely to be tripped up by tones.

    10. Re:Easy grammar by hawguy · · Score: 0

      I have been told that it has more popularity in Japan because it's an easy gateway to learning European languages.

      By "popularity" I mean slightly less overwhelming disinterest. It would be interesting to hear from a Japanese-geek on it.

      My wife is Japanese and never heard of 'Esperanto', when she learned English in school, they taught English. Though she's been away from Japan for about a decade... and out of school for 2 decades.

    11. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ah, you mentioned disabiguating homonyms. But we don't need to do that. Meaning is derived from context. In spoken language, they sound identical (well duh). In written language the difference is just to enable grammar nazis. No other reason.

    12. Re:Easy grammar by hcs_$reboot · · Score: 1

      no irregular verbs, we could call it, let's say ^'Esperanto.

      Or a ton of irregular verbs, we would call it French.

      --
      Slashdot, fix the reply notifications... You won't get away with it...
    13. Re: Easy grammar by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 1

      The thing about English, that most people don't quite realize, is that English is a constructed language, based on a whole bunch of other languages. Gaelic, German, Latin, Scandinavian .... and a smidgeon of others as well.

      It is why you can say things like "away put your weapon" (Irregular grammer) but still be understood perfectly.

      Yes, it is decidedly European in nature, and there is a bias (if you call it that). But bias is not a bad thing. It is difficult to learn and even more so to master.

      --
      Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
    14. Re:Easy grammar by Locke2005 · · Score: 5, Informative

      I hear it is double plus good!

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    15. Re:Easy grammar by k.a.f. · · Score: 3, Interesting

      That's a common and logical-seeming wish, but reality works differently. Every language spoken by humans contains some irregularity, to the point where there is clearly an underlying reason for why perfect regularity isn't optimal for human processing. (Note that you only have difficulty with irregular verbs in foreign languages; no one forgets forms in their mother tongue, and if you're uncertain, both forms usually work equally well for speaker and listener.)

      The phenomenon isn't understood completely, but it's too pervasive to be just accidental. Some aspects of it are quite well-understood. For instance, there is a reason why languages resist perfectly phonetic spelling: written text mediates between writers and readers, and while writers would prefer perfectly regular spelling, readers actually profit from a small amount of irregularity, because it allows them to use gestalt perception to recognize some words even faster than sounding them out would be. Note that the most frequent words in English tend to be those with the weirdest spelling, much like the most common verbs have the most irregular past forms.

      Clearly, a huge amount of optimization has been going on to shape the language for ever-greater efficiency, at a scale that laughs at any attempt to impose a "simpler" or "better" standard in a top-down way. That doesn't prevent purists and politicians from trying, but you know how well their efforts usually turn out. I'm certain that even Esperanto would acquire a certain amount of irregularity to the extent that it was actually used prominently as a native tongue.

    16. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I've heard Newspeak is double-plus ungood.

    17. Re:Easy grammar by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 3, Insightful

      A human-spoken language designed from scratch to be simple and easy to learn? It's been done, Esperanto.

      Esparanto has been around for more than a century, and has failed to catch on. Like it or not, English is the standard international language. So fixing the worst problems with English makes more sense than trying to start something from scratch. We could change the spelling of words like "through" and "tough" to "thru" and "tuff". Get rid of some of the irregular verbs and irregular plurals.

      Mark Twain made a very reasonable proposal, that could be a framework for reform.

    18. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Obligatory link: Learn Not to Speak Esperanto

      One of the more glaring problems with it is its use of Eastern European consonant values. A good constructed language should use only a few simple consonant and vowel sounds, such as in Spanish and Japanese.

    19. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There are tons of natural languages, ie not Esperanto, which could easily replace English in terms of easy grammar and pronunciation. Theres no need to invent another one.

      The problem is that English, a true bastard of a language in every sense of the word, has become the 'Lingua Franca' of the modern age. Its really sad because English is so very very fucked up.

      Dont be a dick. English is the most beautiful language, and it keeps getting better. It needs no fixing and iIts not going anywhere. So get used to it [if you haven't already].

    20. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      They still teach English in the English classes, and don't mention Esperanto at all, that hasn't changed in the least.

      What GP meant by "slightly less overwhelming disinterest" is more along the lines of "there are a few more people there who speak it" than "everybody and their dog are having parties and raving about it, and it's the new foreign language of choice in schools". There's still an overwhelming disinterest, just slightly less of it.

    21. Re:Easy grammar by gbjbaanb · · Score: 4, Interesting

      But that's because people are fucked up - and the language evolves to fill our needs of being weird and wonderful.

      I think what's proposed here is the same ilk as that of Swatch Time. Someone thought its better if we have a dull but efficient system that reflects how computers want to work and not how people do. They forget that we're not (yet) servants of the machines and we like the craziness, the nuances allow us to express our creativity.

      Now, I'm off for a pint, you can go and enjoy your 0.568261 litres of fizzy beverage while you sit in the corner with your po-faced mates and discuss base 10 maths :-)

    22. Re: Easy grammar by gstoddart · · Score: 3, Insightful

      English is NOT a "constructed" language, because that implies intent.

      English is more of a trash heap of things we borrowed from all those other languages that over time people have grafted rules onto to try to decode and standardize. :-P

      But (and I say this in the nicest possible way because it's my native language), English is a dog's breakfast of bits and pieces string together with loose rules and exceptions which require you to know from which language we stole the various bits and pieces.

      The more I know about the English language, and the longer I know people whose native language isn't English ... it's harder to justify some of the "rules" as being anything other than arbitrary, and I've discovered that the ways that non-native speakers "mangle" English actually often leads to a better expression for the context, but which is grammatically incorrect.

      Because it's hard to rely on knowing this came from French, and this came from German to know how you treat the words.

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    23. Re:Easy grammar by Defenestrar · · Score: 2

      You mean like Sindarin or Quenya? Tengwar is aesthetically pleasing and I think it has a Unicode section already reserved for it.

    24. Re:Easy grammar by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      I like it, I'll have a look. Thanks!

    25. Re:Easy grammar by AmiMoJo · · Score: 1

      Esperanto is too Euro-centric. It's based on how European languages, derived from Latin, work. It is thus totally unsuitable as a replacement for east Asian languages like Japanese, Chinese and Korean. It's probably unsuitable for many other cultures I'm not so familiar with.

      That's the real problem. To get people to use such a language you would have to get them to change the fundamental way they think. Would you accept switching to Chinese?

      --
      const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
      SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
    26. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Actually, irregular verbs generally don't come about as a deliberate means of eliminating redundancy and adding meaning. They come about because the majority of people are too stupid to get anything right, so they say it wrong, and they do this so often that the wrong usage eventually becomes the right usage.

      Constructed languages elegantly solve the problem of stupid people ruining them....and that same solution is a significant contributor to the fact that they don't catch on.

    27. Re:Easy grammar by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      It's certainly difficult to not be biased. The best that I can think of is taking the lowest common denominator of each main language in the world. So remove tones and the difference between r and l for example. You'd be left with only a fraction of the sounds and tones possible and they'd be more general. And so you'd have to extend the length of the words. In order to express the same idea you'd have to say more, but being as quick as possible to say something isn't really the goal nor is it totally necessary. Some brevity would be nice of course.

    28. Re:Easy grammar by Dr.+Evil · · Score: 1

      I didn't mean to imply that it wasn't niche.

      A good friend of mine attended a lot of Esparanto conventions. He met lots of Japanese people in the process.... but it's just one anecdote.

    29. Re:Easy grammar by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      I like the link, thanks! I agree wholeheartedly that a language like that would have to take close to the lowest common denominator of the sounds of all main languages

    30. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Id rather just stick right here and continue discussing englishes thank you.

    31. Re: Easy grammar by __aabppq7737 · · Score: 1

      Spanglish

    32. Re:Easy grammar by Rei · · Score: 5, Informative

      For fun. Why not humor the submitter?

      To the submitter: Okay, I'd start with saying, "don't reinvent the wheel more than necessary". So for example, consider IPA as the writing system. Or if you want to invent a writing system to be optimized by a given set of rules, at least consider using the IPA forms as your basis.

      Consider who your target learners are. Is it the whole world? Any particular weighting that you want to apply with certain native tongues? Check and see what phonemes and linguistic rules are common in the languages by whatever weighting you want to apply.

      When doing your weighting to decide what phonemes to use, don't only consider "whether the language has it", but also "how easy is ot for people to learn who don't know how to do it. For example, among the sounds in Icelandic that aren't in English there's the "ll" lateral plosive and the alveolar trill "r". The "ll" is nothing like anything found in English, yet given a simple description most English speakers can pronounce it perfectly. On the other hand, some people struggle for years and never manage to learn a trilled "r".

      That is, all to say, an ideal language takes research not just on what phonemes people use, but what phonemes are easy to learn.

      Then there's one of the biggest issues, which is intelligibility. You want the most diverse array of phonemes possible without being likely for the listener to confuse two similar ones together. Again, research would pay off big here.

      The exact same rule applies to vocabulary / grammar, and this is unfortunately one thing that constructed languages usually suffer from relative to evolved ones. If English had the word "dog" like it is now, but the word for cat was "dawg" with only a slightly different pronunciation, these two common everyday words would lead to a lot of confusion. This normally gets steadily selected out either with pronunciation shifts or the adoption of alternative words.

      If you really want to get into it, you could write an evolutionary algorithm to optimize your vocabulary and/or grammar to maximize the auditory difference between different common words and word phrases. The goal is to keep that signal to noise ratio up to maximize understandability. :)

      One I'd recommend is something that Icelandic does: having a simple, universal stress rule. That is, the first syllable of every word, and the first part of every compound with at least one syllable between them, is stressed. And when I say stressed I mean literally double the length of the others. What this does is make it so that even a beginner can tell exactly where one word or part of word ends and the next begins.

      A couple things that English speakers often attack about other languages you should think about instead of just readily dismissing them:

      1. Genders. It seems archaic, right? But there are practical reasons. For example, consider the sentence:

      "I used a backhoe to drag a box but it was ruined in the process"

      Which is ruined, the backhoe or the box? In Icelandic it's obvious because a backhoe is feminine but a box is masculine. Sorting words into differing groups adds some clarity to sentences. It comes at the cost of increasing the amount of knowledge needed for each word (this is usually done by breaking words into patterns, such as "if it ends with these letters, it's in this group"). You could, for example, have such a grouping (calling it something other than gender), but have the rules for determining whether a thing is in a particular group be really obvious. Taking a direct from English example, if we wanted many groups, one for each last phoneme in the word, the above could become:

      "I used a backhoe to drag a box but itoe was ruined in the process."

      Now it's obvious to a "native" speaker of our constructed language that the particular word for "it" refers to the backhoe.

      The other thing English speakers often complain about is declensions. But once again, they're another example of giving additional info

      --
      Trump's plan to get rid of Mueller appears to be 'be so guilty of so many things that Mueller works himself to death.'
    33. Re:Easy grammar by stephanruby · · Score: 2

      no irregular verbs, we could call it, let's say ^'Esperanto.

      I would vote for Klingon for boys. Thanks to Star Trek and mainstream television, Klingon already beat Esperanto by a wide margin. Then if we want to capture the teenage girls demographics, we would need to invent a special language for vampires (the good looking vampires and the gay vampires especially).

      These two languages don't even need to intersect, it's not like those two demographics will ever talk to each other.

    34. Re:Easy grammar by myowntrueself · · Score: 0

      There are tons of natural languages, ie not Esperanto, which could easily replace English in terms of easy grammar and pronunciation. Theres no need to invent another one.

      The problem is that English, a true bastard of a language in every sense of the word, has become the 'Lingua Franca' of the modern age. Its really sad because English is so very very fucked up.

      Dont be a dick. English is the most beautiful language, and it keeps getting better. It needs no fixing and iIts not going anywhere. So get used to it [if you haven't already].

      Yes, English is a special snowflake of a language.

      I'm glad I'm a native speaker because learning it as a second language would surely give anyone a headache.

      --
      In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
    35. Re:Easy grammar by fnj · · Score: 1

      Like it or not, English is the standard international language.

      Bullshit. Spanish has more native speakers than English. Mandarin has close to three times as many as English. Hindi and Arabic are each quite close behind English.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_languages_by_number_of_native_speakers

    36. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Right,. English combines the melody of German pronunciation and the ease of French grammar with the simplicity of Latin logic. A beautiful language, indeed.

    37. Re:Easy grammar by evenmoreconfused · · Score: 2

      Now, I'm off for a pint, you can go and enjoy your 0.568261 litres of fizzy beverage while you sit in the corner with your po-faced mates and discuss base 10 maths :-)

      I invoke the insensitive clod clause.

      Here we go off for a litre -- you can go and enjoy your 2.11338 pints of fizzy beverage (and btw, was that Imperial or US pints?). Also, discuss base 10 maths if you must, but base 16 may be more interesting and useful around here.

      Also, this way we get more beer.

      --
      No. Well...maybe. Actually, yes. It really just depends.
    38. Re:Easy grammar by friesofdoom · · Score: 1

      The only problem with Esperanto is that I can't decide whether I like it black or with milk and sugar.

    39. Re:Easy grammar by DuckDodgers · · Score: 1

      I read somewhere that the Hungarian language is extremely regular - i.e. once you learn the pronunciation rules, you know how to read any word in the language. But I can't find a source for that and the linguistic terminology about the language on Wikipedia makes smoke come out of my ears.

    40. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Esperanto is too Euro-centric. It's based on how European languages, derived from Latin, work. It is thus totally unsuitable as a replacement for east Asian languages like Japanese, Chinese and Korean.

      And yet many of the most vocal proponents of Esperanto are Asian, and from those countries. I suspect you are an American or European overcompensating for your own constructed guilt for a perceived history in which you played no part, and most likely not from or descended from any of the countries you list. I could be mistaken of course, but statistcially, probably not.

    41. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Nooooo!!!!

      Well, okay, through/thru isn't too horrible (many of us are already acclimated to that one), but 'tuff' is already an English word with a totally different meaning (it's a kind of rock from volcanic ash). That's the problem with most of these reforms (and why they don't catch on): they break things.

      Personally as someone who reads and writes a lot more than he listens or speaks, I like the extra information encoded into the spelling of a word, rather than just its pronunciation. The difference between their/there/they're or knight/night (vs say, nyt), or indeed tough/tuff helps convey information faster, we don't have to dig it out of context.

      Now if ewe'll excuse me, eye have to help a tough with a cough plough some dough. (Yes, the latter cribbed from Dr. Seuss.)

    42. Re:Easy grammar by ormico · · Score: 3, Informative

      He didn't say native speakers. He said international language.

    43. Re:Easy grammar by painandgreed · · Score: 1

      no irregular verbs, we could call it, let's say ^'Esperanto.

      I'd say you are exactly wrong. A regular language may be easy to learn, but that does not make it a successful language. Flexibility and adaption of new words make it a successful language and turn out to be the exact opposite of a strictly regular language as it leads to variations in spelling and irregular verbs.

    44. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Informative

      Pretty sure "standard international language" does not mean "most native speakers". English IS the standard international language. Ie. when two people of any two differing languages get together, what language do they speak most often ?

      Also, business.

    45. Re:Easy grammar by Tablizer · · Score: 1

      In order to express the same idea you'd have to say more, but being as quick as possible to say something isn't really the goal nor is it totally necessary.

      You must be a Java coder :-)

      Brevity is probably preferred for native languages. For a universal "commerce" language, though, ease-of-learning may trump brevity.

    46. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I speak only in italics.

    47. Re: Easy grammar by phantomfive · · Score: 1

      That's not a 'constructed language;' It's a pidgin that expanded to a creole then a full language.

      A constructed language is a language that was designed and built. No one designed English, it just happened organically.

      --
      "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
    48. Re:Easy grammar by ArmoredDragon · · Score: 3, Interesting

      I've been told by a lot of foreign people that they like the way English sounds, in spite of it being hard to learn.

      But its difficulty might be one of its strengths. The English language is somewhat remarkable at incorporating new words or foreign words into the mainstream vocabulary rather easily.

    49. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      the number of native speakers doesn't make it a standard. It is a standard due to its use in commerce, travel, etc. Example: international airline pilots need to know "aviation English" in order to do their jobs.

    50. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The same goes with Finnish. But as the language itself is very difficult, pronounciation alone does not help.

      And the latter goes with Hungarian as well.

      The biggest gripe I have with Esperanto is the use of accented characters. Why oh why??

    51. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      it's not a win for a language with a larger number of native speakers. the language most used in an --international-- context wins. which language is most used between a native and non-native speaker? and which among two non-native speakers?

    52. Re:Easy grammar by sconeu · · Score: 3, Informative

      Please report to Room 101 for training. The correct spelling is doubleplusgood

      --
      General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
    53. Re:Easy grammar by DuckDodgers · · Score: 1

      From what I understand - and I could be wrong - most international websites are in English. That may be the standard that ShanghaiBill was implicitly using.

    54. Re: Easy grammar by pr0t0 · · Score: 2

      Easy spelling!

      There are 26 letters in the English alphabet, but 44 phonemes. I'd start there. Expand the alphabet to 44 letters; one letter per sound and double le(tt)ers are not necessary. Thus no ambiguity on how to spell a word; you spell it like it sounds. It would be like a metric system for speaking/spelling...in that it makes sense. So "two" becomes "tu" or maybe just "2" (wi yuz tu karakters wen won wil du?), "too" becomes "also", and "to" becomes anything...maybe "tob".

      --
      I'm sorry, but your opinion seems to be wrong.
    55. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      umm...instead of using Spanish, why not go to what it is based on: Latin?

    56. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And yet, I know English and enough Spanish to say "no habla espanol". I don't bother with accent marks when typing because English doesn't use them. I can't even imagine the piano-sized monstrosity I assume a Chinese keyboard must be. Why, yes, I do live in the United States, and I don't actually give a shit what language you speak. And I can act this way because nuclear warheads can quickly wipe out 3x the English-speaking population in a heartbeat, and Spanish is for "brown people".

      It's not racism or xenophobia, it's just straight up oppression. And I happen to benefit from it, even though I don't personally approve of it or participate in it. Life can be weird like that.

    57. Re:Easy grammar by phantomfive · · Score: 1

      Grammar is relatively easy in every language. In your native language, you have the grammar mastered.

      Vocabulary is what kills you when learning a language. After decades of speaking English, I am still learning new vocabulary.

      No matter how you design the language, you're never going to avoid the difficulty of needing to learn 1,000-5,000 words. It's a huge memory load and it's what takes the most time when learning a language. If you can somehow make it easy to learn words, then your language will be a success.

      If it only takes three months to learn your language fluently, then people will want to learn it.

      --
      "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
    58. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Try traveling around the world and see what language you can functionally use in the most places.

      hint: it isn't Spanish, Mandarin, Hindi, Arabic, etc...

      English is the dominant international language by a long shot.

    59. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ..and when mandarin speakers need to talk to arabic speakers.. esparanto!

    60. Re:Easy grammar by srmalloy · · Score: 1

      A human-spoken language designed from scratch...

      ...with phonology, grammar, vocabulary, and semantics based on the Indo-European languages spoken in Europe. Thereby being completely foreign to individuals whose native languages do not have Indo-European roots.

    61. Re:Easy grammar by dbrueck · · Score: 2

      As others have noted, the number of native speakers of a language is different than the number of people that can speak a language, and that's where English pulls ahead.

      The most widely known language in the world is "broken English" - there are a lot of native English speakers, a ton more who know it very well as a second language with a good degree of proficiency, and then a huge, huge, huge number more that can get by in English passably well.

    62. Re: Easy grammar by xaxa · · Score: 2

      If English had official "tones" like Mandarin, we could distinguish between meanings of "fuck" used as a verb in writing, to visually indicate things like sarcasm. Actually, in a way, English *does* have an informal "system" of indicating the equivalent of _tones_ -- quotation marks, underlines, italics, boldface, and wikitext markup.

      This is not what tones are like in Mandarin. Different tones change the meaning of individual words completely.

      ma1 (high, level tone): mother

      ma2 (rising tone): hemp

      ma3 (falling then rising tone): horse

      ma4 (falling tone): to curse

      ma5 (no tone): makes a sentence into a question, a bit like adding "right?" (rising tone?) to a sentence in English.

      Sarcasm in English applies to the whole sentence, and the tone is applied to the whole sentence, not the individual words.

      (Also, a homonym is a word like "minute" (time, small). It's Latin for same-word. You described a same-sound, a homophone. This would be easy if English derived technical terms from smaller English words.)

    63. Re:Easy grammar by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      The same is true of many languages. Spanish and Russian have regular pronunciation. I've heard that French has finite pronunciation rules, though they are complex, but haven't learned it.

    64. Re: Easy grammar by pspahn · · Score: 1

      I remember as a kid, maybe 6 or 7, I had this toy that was one of those flying contraptions where you pulled a string on a handle that spun the flying thing really fast and it flew (mostly) straight up.

      On the handle bit where the string was and the flying thing attached to, there was a word and an arrow ... WIND =>

      Now, I remember this confusing me for a second, did it mean I should align the arrow with the direction the wind is blowing? Or did it mean that was the direction I should wind up the string so it spins in the right direction?

      It took me a second, I was pretty young after all, but I ultimately decided that they meant *both*, even though the latter, I'm sure in hindsight, was the intentional meaning. In this case, basing my definition of WIND on context increased confusion .

      --
      Someone flopped a steamer in the gene pool.
    65. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

      At least in English you don't have to worry about whether your silverware is male, female, or neuter (in German, spoons are masculine, forks are feminine, and knives are neuter, but in Spanish spoons are feminine and forks are masculine), since English retains only 'natural' gender -- boy, girl, etc. -- and avoids little quirks like the word for 'young lady' ('das Fräulein') being neuter, despite referring to a female individual. English lost the grammatical genders that were universal in Old English (for example, a bench was feminine, a stone was masculine and a ship was neuter -- and just to confuse matters, the natural gender of things didn’t always correspond to the grammatical gender of things; the word for woman – wfman – is actually masculine).

    66. Re:Easy grammar by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      International language isn't the language that someone speaks in their village when dealing with locals. Perhaps you should learn what "international" means before jumping into a conversation you obviously don't understand.

      In my travels, a French guy who walks into a room in Asia full of people he has never met will start the conversation in English. Perhaps a bit of French to see if anyone objects, perhaps the local language, but *never* Spanish, and almost always English only, unless told otherwise.

      When you travel the world someday, you'll find that signs in touristy areas are in local language and English, never Hindi, and only Arabic in some edge cases (areas of Europe and such where a large number of locals speak it, but then that meets the "local language" definition).

    67. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Here we go off for a litre -- you can go and enjoy your 2.11338 pints of fizzy beverage

      Around here, we call that a "40" (1.1829 liters), although only the worst beers are available in that size. I think it's because drinking that much beer before it goes warm largely implies you aren't very interested in the taste.

    68. Re:Easy grammar by bargainsale · · Score: 1

      Kenji Miyazawa, a very well known Japanese author of mainly children's stories, was very interested in Esperanto. The anime version of his "Midnight on the Galactic Railroad" has Esperanto in all the written materials you see in honour of this.

      This was in the early part of the twentieth century, when there was a lot more interest in Esperanto worldwide. It probably is the case that there was at any rate more interest in it in Japan than you might have expected.

      --
      Aberrations have appeared in my destiny prognostication engine!
    69. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Now if ewe'll excuse me, eye have to help a tough with a cough plough some dough.

      Just as long as that dough isn't being ploughed through a slough.

    70. Re:Easy grammar by Tuidjy · · Score: 1

      This is more of the rule than the exception in most languages that I know.

      English is my fourth language, and when I started getting serious about speaking it properly, I realized two things:
      - I had been pronouncing many words incorrectly, and to this day, 25 years later, I sometimes realize that I had the wrong pronunciation all along. Sometimes it is because I am familiar with the word in the original language, but it is pronounced differently in English, and sometimes it is because the pronunciation disobeys English rules.
      - Many native speakers have no idea how to pronounce words that they have never heard.

      But in Bulgarian, Russian, French, Spanish, Hungarian, Polish, German, there are very, very few words that you would mispronounce if you see them written down, as long as you know the applicable rules. Some of the languages above (not all) are also very easy to spell, because as long as you know the correct pronunciation, there is only one possible spelling.

      --
      No good deed goes unpunished...
    71. Re:Easy grammar by mrvan · · Score: 1

      Around here, we call that a "40" (1.1829 liters), although only the worst beers are available in that size. I think it's because drinking that much beer before it goes warm largely implies you aren't very interested in the taste.

      If you let it go warm you're not doing it right....

    72. Re:Easy grammar by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 3, Informative

      I'm glad I'm a native speaker because learning it as a second language would surely give anyone a headache.

      English is extremely easy to learn for Germans, Dutch, Danish (and other Skandinavians, except Fins) and even french ... why? Because it is a conglomerate of those languages. For plenty of "english" words you even have a germanic root AND a second latin variation, most of the time they can be used interchangeable.
      A simple list, left german, right english, and at many rows you could add danish or dutch (I don't speak both but can read them)
      Wind - wind
      Wasser - water
      Stein - stone
      Fisch - fish
      Rabe - Raven
      Kraehe - Crow
      Grass - grass
      Haus - house
      Stock - Stick
      Von - From
      unter - under
      Wolf - wolf
      Fuchs - fox
      Strom(as in river) - stream
      die See (not der See, that is a lake) - sea
      Auge - eye
      Ohr - ear
      Arm - arm
      Herz - heart
      Damm - dam

      If you know about the v to b and t to z "soundshifts" you can recognize plenty of words by context. If you know a bit of latin/french AND another germanic language you can learn english in a month ... unfortunately the school systems insist on teaching "grammar" and "spelling" first instead of reading and speaking.

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    73. Re:Easy grammar by edremy · · Score: 1
      Annoyingly it also dropped the you singular and you plural- no tu/vous distinction which makes it clear if you're talking to an individual or group.

      The best alternative I know if (even as a Northerner) is y'all, the only Southernism I picked up while living there.

      For large groups it's "all y'all"

      --
      "Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!"
    74. Re:Easy grammar by Tuidjy · · Score: 1

      Well, now that I posted, I am thinking about exceptions. For example, in Russian, you have to know where the accent falls, or you may mispronounce the letter 'o'. There are a few tricky things about Hungarian, as well. But in general, English is much harder to get right than any language I know. Hell, I've been told that I can read a Japanese paragraph and sound perfectly understandable, and I have never studied Japanese, I just picked up the phonetic alphabet because I ran out of reading materials on a long flight.

      As for Esperanto, I have found it an insanely easy language to understand, and I think it would be the case for every well-traveled European. But the rverse is not true - I would have no hope of speaking it correctly, because I have no idea how they decided which language to borrow from for specific words.

      --
      No good deed goes unpunished...
    75. Re: Easy grammar by TriCCer · · Score: 1

      Ditto, for "silent letters" in English. They're how we disambiguate homonyms (ex: to/too/two).

      See True Homonym http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L...

      --
      c0w goes moo.
    76. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      English is quite easy to learn compared to most European languages. French, Italian, Spanish and German I found considerably more difficult (although learning any one of the first 3 will make the other 2 a little easier to pick up). For Hungarian I couldn't even muster the courage to start, but that's probably partially because I don't know any languages that are related to it (i.e. Finnish). Most people cannot tell from my writing that I am not a native English speaker. For the other languages I mentioned, native speakers can spot me an obvious error within 3 sentences, if not sooner.

    77. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      water=vater
      vodka=wodka

    78. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      he said standard international language not most native speakers

    79. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      For a language to be considered international, you have to include both L1 and L2 speakers:
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_languages_by_total_number_of_speakers

      English has the most L1 + L2 speakers apart from Mandarin, distributed over a much wider geography.

    80. Re:Easy grammar by ralphsiegler · · Score: 1

      Esperanto was a failure; we already had a logical latinate language, Latin

    81. Re:Easy grammar by Cro+Magnon · · Score: 1

      There's also no third party gender-neutral pronoun. "Them" is fine for multiple people, but most people don't like being called "it".

      --
      Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
    82. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      but we aren't talking about what language has more speakers/users, we are talking about what language is a standard across countries, across users of different languages, etc. so if you grow up speaking spanish and you want to speak to a chinese person, you both end up learning english.

    83. Re: Easy grammar by smellsofbikes · · Score: 1

      Irregular verbs exist for a reason... they're the verbs that get used the most, and the irregularities are how people either eliminate redundancy or add additional shades of meaning that most normal verbs can live without.

      Ditto, for "silent letters" in English. They're how we disambiguate homonyms (ex: to/too/two).

      If English had official "tones" like Mandarin, we could distinguish between meanings of "fuck" used as a verb in writing, to visually indicate things like sarcasm. Actually, in a way, English *does* have an informal "system" of indicating the equivalent of _tones_ -- quotation marks, underlines, italics, boldface, and wikitext markup.

      Any conlang that *really* gets used by **real** people as their "real" language will quickly mutate and become as irregular as English or Spanish.

      Japanese only has two irregular verbs that are used often, and another eight or so that are used rarely, and it's an _old_ language spoken by a lot of people. Likewise, Finnish and Chinese both have under five irregular verbs, and Turkish (I'm told) has zero. There are lots of other ways to increase information density per unit of written information to reduce ambiguity. I think that's important for an actual used language, but it doesn't have to be accomplished via irregular verbs. Word location and order, for instance, does a great job of displaying subject/object relationships.
      I agree with your point that things like sarcasm, satire, humor, will be expressed by bending language rules, in any actual used language. I just don't think irregular verbs are a necessary emergent property of used languages.

      --
      Nostalgia's not what it used to be.
    84. Re: Easy grammar by Alioth · · Score: 1

      What is curious is that small children almost always regularise verbs. In English, I've heard children say "buyed" instead of "bought", for instance. The only other language I know is Spanish, and my Spanish friends have told me that the same thing happens there too - kids saying "sabo" instead of "sé" for example.

    85. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ditto, for "silent letters" in English. They're how we disambiguate homonyms (ex: to/too/two).

      Are they though? Leaving aside the argument about whether to/too/two are homonyms or homophones, are to, too and two really spelled with silent lettesr just so they can be distinguished? I mean is the spelling deliberate like that, or just happenstance? I can't just find anything to support silent letters being there so we can disambiguate homophones. Genuinely interested whether it's true in some cases. It is certainly not true in all cases. to and too seem to share an etymological root, but not with two as far as I can tell.

      A lot of silent letters are there because people decided to 'fix' English spelling. The silent b in debt is there because some people though it would be a good ideas to make spellings reminiscent of the Latin origin, in the case of debt, that's debitum. Maybe that works great if you read and write latin, which this group of reformers did, but most people didn't. At different times different groups of people have decided to 'fix' the spelling and that's part of the reason it's a mess. This programme on the subject http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b039c5cs is very interesting if you can find a copy somewhere.

    86. Re: Easy grammar by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      Nope. English was a full language before it became the trash heap. It absorbed thousands of words from French, Italian, Spanish, Latin, and others. It mixed Greek plurals on Latin roots, and vice versa. But before all that, it was a small regional language on a little island in Northern Europe.

      It's "constructed" in the sense that English speakers deliberately used foreign words when an English one didn't work to describe something, absorbing the words into English, and often changing the meanings to uniquely English meanings. That's one of the hardest things for non-natives to understand.

      "America" was initially Italian/Spanish for collective North and South America. When English took that term on, and put it in a 7-continent context, the meaning of "America" became unambiguously "related to the USA". But those who learned other languages first object. Because they don't understand English. Just because the word doesn't mean what its root means doesn't mean English is wrong. Just the learner who refuses to learn the English version of the cognate.

    87. Re:Easy grammar by jellomizer · · Score: 1

      But for it to replace English... We would need a bunch of radical nuts who only speak it take over the world in a military action.
      English is considered the common language of trade because those crazy brits a few hundred years ago expanded their empire around the world, and in general forced the population to speak their language, as a way to keep them in civilization. Sure the british empire had declined. But we have the Untied States of America (a former british colony) a Superpower which still pushes its influence and language.

      --
      If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
    88. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      As a native Hungarian speaker, I can tell you that while what you said is true, there are plenty of exceptions and special rules in Hungarian too. In addition it uses suffixes in its grammar which create a ton of different words, each and everyone for a special use.
      Hungarian is gender neutral and phonetic, but is a separate trunk next to the main linguistic tree, along with Finnish and a few others and is not related to most any other language.
      I know only a handful people who learned Hungarian as second language, and they all complained that it was difficult. With 39 letters in its alphabet, it for sure has some more than English has.

      Along with your thought, my suggestion for a language to replace English is to be phonetic (i.e. written and spoken the same way) and gender neutral (i.e. you can only infer the gender from meaning).

      Trivia: Which language has female gender grammar for the male genitalia (penis)?

       

    89. Re:Easy grammar by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      Grammar isn't easy in every language. One thing that makes English hard for Chinese speakers is tenses. There are more tenses in English than most other languages. And certainly more used regularly. In Chinese, there are no tenses. No genders. No modifications to words of any kind (plurals, conjugation, etc.).

      There are plenty of languages with more gender use than English, but none that has as many commonly used tenses.

      Grammar in Chinese is much less rigid. You throw words at a wall and the general meaning is all that's left. English is the most descriptive language in the world because if there isn't an English word for it, use the German or French or whatever word for the same thing, and it'll become English. What's the English word for Kabuki theater? Oh yeah, Kabuki.

    90. Re:Easy grammar by StikyPad · · Score: 1

      I'd wager that much of the irregularity comes from errors in vocal communication. The "telephone game" is the classic example -- a phrase almost never makes it further than 4 or 5 people before being modified. As people learn from people with imperfect memory and/or pronunciation, they will propagate those errors. Errors become accents, accents can become dialects, and new or evolved words may or may not make it back into the "trunk." For example, people tend to elide a lot in American english. "Gonna" has essentially become its own word, as a contraction of "going to." But a lot of people actually go even further and say "ommona" instead of "I am going to." It's basically four words contracted into one.

      Perhaps with technology, it will be possible to have a single source of learning, so that people are not Nth degree removed from the original, reducing the ability for errors to propagate. But people make up words as well, and repurpose existing words. Emiggens. Fauxhawk. Sick. And it's rarely "cool" to follow a predetermined template for adding a new word. Eventually the new or alternative versions of words can make it back into the main or "standard" lexicon. It's very difficult (and a bit authoritarian) to prevent people from adding to language in "unapproved" ways. Ask L'Academie Francaise how well that's working for them these days.

    91. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      "AdvertisingSpeak" is worse than Newspeak by a long-shot. Some of my favorites;
        "Partial zero emissions vehicle" - The shifter knob in my V8 pickup doesn't emit fumes, so I guess the F150 qualifies.
        "Save up to 15% or more on car insurance" - So, I'll save 15%, or less, or maybe more, that narrows it down to.....well....every possibility. This one is actually true if you do absolutely nothing!
        "Inventory Reduction Sale" - That narrows it down to every sale ever.
        "Don't fall for FIOS" - Sure Comcast, I won't fall for the speed of light and science. Tell me again how your copper is faster........
        "Milk, it does a body good" - .....As long as that body belongs to a young calf, with the goal of gaining 500-600 pounds over the next 18 months.
        "100% Cotton" - Which, of course, in the US is permitted to contain 5% non-cotton fibers, provided it was NOT made in the US.

    92. Re:Easy grammar by phantomfive · · Score: 1

      Grammar isn't easy in every language.

      It's relatively easy. Long after Chinese people understand tenses, they will still be learning vocabulary. Your English grammar is excellent, fluent, and native-level; but I'll bet you are still learning new words in English.

      --
      "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
    93. Re: Easy grammar by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      Double consonants can not be avoided.

      'Letter' has two syllables: "let" and "ter", obvious if you have to hyphenate a word at the end of a line.

      If you remove one of the double consonants some words even might change meaning.

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    94. Re:Easy grammar by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      There are plenty of languages that have perfectly phonetic spelling like Italian, Japanese and Finish or Greek. German is somewhat close to it but has to many exceptions.

      Bottom line it is a question of which alphabet you use, english simply is not easy to write correctly with a latin/roman alphabet. Hence scandinavian languages e.g. invented special vowels or diphtongues

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    95. Re:Easy grammar by Martin+Blank · · Score: 1

      Worked for me for the most part in Switzerland and Italy.

      The only odd exception was a tech store clerk in Zurich who didn't speak English. I speak a smattering of Spanish and my wife conversational French, but he only knew German, Dutch, Italian, and Portuguese. Between seven languages, we couldn't find a common one (and for those that were similar to Spanish, I don't know enough Spanish for the overlap to be meaningful). Eventually, our Swiss friend found us and was able to help us find what we needed.

      --
      You can never go home again... but I guess you can shop there.
    96. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Wouldn't http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_languages_by_total_number_of_speakers be the better measure of a "standard international language"?

    97. Re:Easy grammar by blue9steel · · Score: 1

      Number of native speakers is irrelevant. Cap weighted number of speakers is the relevant metric if you want to determine the dominant language.

    98. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      romanian

    99. Re:Easy grammar by BasilBrush · · Score: 1

      Right. So why didn't we stop with Fortran and COBOL when it comes to computer languages? Because there are new uses for languages, and new ideas for how to do them better and for some people it's fun.

      After more than 100 years, I think we could do a lot with a new human language that wasn't done in Esperanto. We know more than we did then, and computers can help us to analyse and optimise.

      e.g. What are the common phonemes in existing languages. How frequent are words? Use short easy to say words for common uses, and longer more difficult words for less frequent uses. etc.

    100. Re:Easy grammar by blue9steel · · Score: 1

      That's the real problem. To get people to use such a language you would have to get them to change the fundamental way they think.

      Which if you're going to bother designing a new language should be a primary objective.

    101. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      English is very easy if you aren't trying to be fluent. There's only one verb form required - the present participle - and it's uniform across conjugations, so "I is walking" "You will be walking" "They was eating" "We will be being" etc. You need to learn some tense prefixes - "will be" "is" etc. Obviously a bit wrong and limited, but it works adequately.

      There are no special sentence forms that matter. The only special noun form is plurals, and you can make that work universally by sticking 's' on the end. Not much difficult pronunciation: 'Z' works for 'th'.

      Of course, speaking it like a native is a whole different thing, but it pretty much is in any language.

    102. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Quote: Any conlang that *really* gets used by **real** people as their "real" language will quickly mutate and become as irregular as English or Spanish.

      Except that every new word that gets added to the English language, as in "just Google it", invariably comes in as regular. If your theory is correct, why don't these new words mutate and become irregular?

    103. Re:Easy grammar by UnknownSoldier · · Score: 1

      > English is the most beautiful language, and it keeps getting better. It needs no fixing and iIts not going anywhere. So get used to it [if you haven't already].

      I see someone forgot the sarcasm tag.

      English is a pretty fucked up language simply due to its inconsistency

      * When the same word can both be a noun and verb, this is a problem.
      This IS a valid sentence: Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
      http://mentalfloss.com/article...

      * words containing "ough" are inconsistent
      http://www.say-it-in-english.c...

      * Stupid homonyms

      How is 'read' pronounced? I read the book -- like red? Did you read the book ? like reed? Why does tense change the pronunciation?

      Which witch? Whether Weather?

      * In some cases we *transform* "ay" to "aid"

      Lay -> laid
      Overlay -> overlaid
      Pay -> paid
      Say -> said

      * In other cases we *add* "ed" to "ay"

      belay -> belayed
      delay -> delayed
      inlay -> inlaid
      relay -> relayed

      * J wasn't invented until after the 1611 King James Bible. Is J pronounced like Y or not??

        Hallelujah -- like y

      Why the hell would you invent a new glyph for the same bloody sound when you _already_ have one??

      * Is G is hard or soft?

      Is gib pronounced like gib or jib ?

      * Stupid plurality

      We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
      Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
      You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice, But the plural of house is houses, not hice.

      If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be pen?
      The cow in the plural may be cows or kine, But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
      And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet, But I give a boot⦠would a pair be beet?
      If one is a tooth, and a whole set is teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?

      If the singular is this, and the plural is these, Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be kese?
      Then one may be that, and three be those, Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
      We speak of a brother, and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

      The masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim.
      So our English, I think you will agree, Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

      I take it you already know of tough, and bough and cough and dough?
      Others may stumble, but not you on hiccough, through, slough and though.
      Well done! And now you wish, perhaps To learn of less familiar traps?
      Beware of heard, a dreadful word That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
      And dead; it's said like bed, not bead! For goodness sake, don't call it deed!

      Watch out for meat and great and threat, (They rhyme with suite and straight and debt)
      A moth is not a moth in mother, Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
      And here is not a match for there, Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
      And then there's dose and rose and lose - Just look them up - and goose and choose,
      And cork and work and card and ward. And font and front and word and sword.

      And do and go, then thwart and cart. Come, come, I've hardly made a start.
      A dreadful language: Why, man alive, I'd learned to talk when I was five.
      And yet to write it, the more I tried, I hadn't learned it at fifty-five.

      * I before E except after C
        beige, cleidoic, codeine, conscience, deify, deity, deign, dreidel, eider, eight, either, feign, feint, feisty, foreign, forfeit, freight, gleization, gneiss, greige, greisen, heifer, heigh-ho, height, heinous, heir, heist, leitmotiv, neigh, neighbor, neither, peignoir, prescient, rein, science, seiche, seidel, seine, seismic, seize, sheik, society, sovereign, surfeit, teiid, veil, vein, weight, weir, weird ??????

    104. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Who the hell cares how many speakers there are? That's not what defines the international language. If you're a pilot, a traveller, in business, trading, exploring, navigating, publishing, patenting, programming, employing .... then English is your first stop. Every other language is local.

    105. Re:Easy grammar by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      Words are being created (and not just the token 10 a year that they make a big deal of putting in the dictionary) at a large rate. Grammar doesn't change (on a micro level).

      Native-level grammar in Chinese is hard, words have associations. You can put words in any order, but a native-speaker would group them in certain ways, without clear rules or order. Basic communication is easy, but passing as a native-speaker is nearly impossible for a foreigner. For English, the accent and word choice is the easy tip off. As basic grammar is easy for common things.

      "I will have finished", or "I will have been done" both have the same meaning, and different tenses. Selection between the two becomes impossible for the non-native, and subconscious for the native. The native will make more errors, but they will be common and understandable errors.

      Nothing helped me understand poor English speakers from China like learning Chinese. The errors are understandable and predictable.

      But as for the original question, the answer is easy. Fix English, and kill the French. The French are still at war with English, for reasons only they know. The International System of Units (called such in almost all languages) is abbreviated SI for the French wording. Almost every standards body gets its abbreviation for the English name from the French name that nobody uses. IF not for the French fighting English at every turn, the question would have been answered 50 years ago.

    106. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > Try to have as many regular "forming patterns" as possible

      I find sticking "double plus" in front of things helps give emphasis...

    107. Re:Easy grammar by euroq · · Score: 1

      Like it or not, English is the standard international language.

      Bullshit. Spanish has more native speakers than English. Mandarin has close to three times as many as English. Hindi and Arabic are each quite close behind English.

      Is that some tribal instinct in you invoking emotion instead of logic? English is by far and away the standard international language. Pilots from Russia landing in Taiwan speak English to the radio towers. Travellers between Spain and France in Barcelona (3 languages there) speak English to communicate.

      Just because there are more native speakers of Mandarin does not make it the standard international language. And btw, native speakers is a piss poor statistic for a standard international language.

      --
      Just because the U.S. is a republic does not mean it is not a democracy. Democracy/republic are not mutually exclusive.
    108. Re:Easy grammar by buchner.johannes · · Score: 1

      If you want to go for avoiding ambiguity, go for https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lojban

      --
      NB: The message above might reflect my opinion right now, but not necessarily tomorrow or next year.
    109. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How about getting rid of useless letters. K and q and x are gone.
      Also, no more spelling things how you want. A town called reading will be pronounced as reading, not redding.

    110. Re:Easy grammar by phantomfive · · Score: 1

      ok.......you don't seem to understand the issue. If you do learn Chinese, you'll spend much, much more time learning vocabulary than you will grammar. Furthermore, the vocabulary load is effectively doubled because the writing system is mostly unrelated to the pronunciation system.

      And you can't put words in any order in Chinese, that's idiotic.

      --
      "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
    111. Re:Easy grammar by Carewolf · · Score: 1

      This is more of the rule than the exception in most languages that I know.

      English is my fourth language, and when I started getting serious about speaking it properly, I realized two things:
      - I had been pronouncing many words incorrectly, and to this day, 25 years later, I sometimes realize that I had the wrong pronunciation all along. Sometimes it is because I am familiar with the word in the original language, but it is pronounced differently in English, and sometimes it is because the pronunciation disobeys English rules.
      - Many native speakers have no idea how to pronounce words that they have never heard.

      But in Bulgarian, Russian, French, Spanish, Hungarian, Polish, German, there are very, very few words that you would mispronounce if you see them written down, as long as you know the applicable rules. Some of the languages above (not all) are also very easy to spell, because as long as you know the correct pronunciation, there is only one possible spelling.

      Most of the languages have rythm and emphesis rules that you have to know, and are not written down. Getting that wrong is as confusing to a native speaker as choosing the wrong vowel sound in English.

      Btw. The quick way to figuring out how close the writen and spoken languages are, is to check how old the written language is. If the written language is several hundred years old, then it is going to be rather different from the spoken language that has evolved faster in the meantime.

    112. Re:Easy grammar by Anne+Thwacks · · Score: 2

      I have tried writing in India Pale Ale, but I assure you - drinking it is more fun.

      --
      Sent from my ASR33 using ASCII
    113. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Honestly, although inventing a language would be fun, if you wanted to accomplish the goals as stated, I think your first step would be to *learn* a couple of languages. I highly recommend Japanese because:

      1) It is very different than English
      2) It has a ridiculously simple grammar (as long as you start with plain rather than polite forms)
      3) It has a unique writing system which is actually very convenient to read once you have learned it.

      I'm not saying that an invented international language should look like Japanese, but learning it has completely challenged my assumptions about what "easy to use" means for a language. Even though it is not my native language, I prefer speaking and reading Japanese because it is considerably easier than English. I'm sure there are other, even easier to use languages in the world (I have heard that Tagalog is quite easy to use, for instance).

      Spending 10 or 20 years becoming both proficient and fluent in 1 or 2 other languages will prepare the person for creating a realistic language (and answer the questions that were asked). I can't imagine another approach that would work.

      I suspect that is not the answer the OP was looking for, though...

    114. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Finally a fellow linguist. You've raises all the how's that I would have prioritized but the "why should I"s are the key to developing a useful/used language. A useful language has culture that attracts people to it (movies, music, and books). It has commerce inextricably tied to it (banks and financial systems). It is ties to transportation (air traffic controllers). More modernly, it needs to be the language of technology. Perhaps not finally, but but my last point, it needs a critical mass of speakers and especially native speakers. These are the reasons that English has become the de facto world language. History has favored the ingenuity, hard work and yes, expansionism of English speaking peoples. One day there might be a shift away from English, but it will because of a need to do so. Without a need, no one will ever adopt a new language in sufficient numbers to overcome English. Perhaps if we meet an extraterrestrial race, a pidgin of our two languages could become a new standard, but barring that, it would take massive world war or a similar catastrophe to shift things away from English.

    115. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      with loose rules and exceptions which require you to know from which language we stole the various bits and pieces

      I'm pretty sure most proficient English users don't know or care which languages the various bits come from.

    116. Re:Easy grammar by jawtheshark · · Score: 1

      but he only knew German, Dutch, Italian, and Portuguese.

      "only"

      --
      Ahhh...the great dumpster continuum. Many a free computer will be found there. -- sowth (748135)
    117. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Some good points similar to the ones I raised, but I disagree with native speakers being vital. Native speakers are the ones who experiment with language and create with language. They are the next generation who will see to it that the language continues when we're all gone. Otherwise why continue? Esperanto has too few native speakers and so no one uses it. They may not be a metric, but they are an essential feature.

    118. Re: Easy grammar by mcrbids · · Score: 1

      Irregular verbs exist because English is a hack job of a language mashed together from several sources.

      Silent letters don't exist to disambiguate homonyms, EG: lead. They exist because the words came from different sources. Compare the derivations of right and rite.

      I'd wager that a properly constructed language (if adopted) would probably mutate fairly slowly, about as fast as normal language does.

      --
      I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.
    119. Re:Easy grammar by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      And you can't put words in any order in Chinese, that's idiotic.

      http://101books.net/2014/09/17...

      So, in English, you can put the word "only" anywhere in a specially crafted sentence, and it will remain valid. The same happens in Chinese, with greater frequency. One of my go-to examples of Chinese grammar is that you'd say "I went to the store" as "I go to the store ago" in Chinese, because there are no verb tenses or such. But, as to my point of putting words in any order, "Ago I go to the store" would be just as valid, as would "I go ago to the store". You can shuffle the ago. It wouldn't necessarily sound as native, but "to the store ago I go" would be a valid sentence construction. Much like (when conjugated) most of those are valid in English. You can put the words in any order (with the exception that "I go" and "to the store" are must be treated as single words).

    120. Re:Easy grammar by Altrag · · Score: 1

      Japanese is very "simple" in two ways:
      - Their phonetic alphabets have, for the most part, exactly one pronunciation per character (/character pair.) There's a few small quirks like minimizing the 'u' sound at the end of a word and the 'i' sound in a few places, but even if you pronounce them fully you won't sound too terribly bad as long as you know the general readings of the characters.

      - Their grammar rules are fairly consistent. They do have exceptions of course, but there's not a whole lot of them (at least compared to English..)

      Where Japanese gets horribly confusing, and why it has such a bad rap in terms of language learning (not as bad as English but getting up there) is also mostly two factors:
      - Kanji. Just. Kanji. They took an already fairly complex (but structured) system from Chinese and decided to replace that "structured" bit with even more complexity in order to mash it into their (completely different) spoken language. This of course happened hundreds of years ago and has gone through some revisions since then but its still quite a massive disaster to learn.

      - The fact that they only have somewhere around 50 phonemes means that there is a LOT of homonyms. That makes it a lot harder to just "pick up" from context because you need to know the context in order to pick it up and you get a bit of a circular logic problem there. Kanji actually helps this greatly as for the most part, different words get different Kanji even if (and especially if) they sound the same. But that only helps with written language, and is still subject to the previous point of Kanji being a disaster in its own right.

      Obviously none of those are show-stoppers.. there's 130+ million people proving the system works just fine if you can get past that initial learning step but hot damn is it a big step!

    121. Re:Easy grammar by rtb61 · · Score: 1

      So basically English is a constructed question. So the question is, what constructed language would you replace a constructed language with. The obvious answer to that is English will replace itself as it has done over the years and will continue to do so. It has proven to be a very adaptable malleable language and will continue to gain and loose, elements, even the letters might change over the years. Especially as we have to adapt to our idiot computer keyboard overlords who demand QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM as the new correct alphabetical order (this even on touch screens where they still refuse to provide an alphabetic alternative), so we can teach tomorrows children exactly how stubbornly stupid today's adults truly are/were.

      --
      Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
    122. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If you think it's bad you should think again.

    123. Re:Easy grammar by Blaskowicz · · Score: 1

      French has male gender for the male genitalia in formal speech and writing, but you'll find out everyone uses one of the many female terms (or refer to it with the pronoun for "she" or "her")

    124. Re:Easy grammar by Blaskowicz · · Score: 1

      darth vader = dark Vater

    125. Re:Easy grammar by phantomfive · · Score: 1

      OK, Slashdot doesn't allow Chinese characters, but I'm having trouble figuring out what you are referring to. I can figure out some of them:

      "I went to the store" - wo qu shang dian (or alternately: wo qu guo shang dian le)
      "I go to the store ago" - Wo qu shang dian le

      I can't figure out what you mean by "Ago I go to the store," that isn't valid in either language as far as I can tell.

      Consider in English the following sentence: "I saw him." Because of the noun declination, you can put the words in any order: "him I saw" "him saw I" "saw him I" or even "saw I him." In Spanish and Latin the word orders are even more flexible because more information is encoded in the noun/verb inflections. In Chinese, word order is almost all you have. You don't have much flexibility in ordering.

      Which is still beside the point that if Chinese only had 500 words, learning the language would be easier than Spanish.

      --
      "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
    126. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It needs to have an unambiguous parse, with easy audio to text, to make the tech/intel world's lives easier. Seriously, if anything causes major reform, it will be related to automation and interacting with machines.

    127. Re:Easy grammar by DuckDodgers · · Score: 1

      Thanks for the information. Interesting.

    128. Re:Easy grammar by DuckDodgers · · Score: 1

      Thanks.

    129. Re:Easy grammar by DuckDodgers · · Score: 1

      Thank you. It seems to me, then, that whatever this universal language should be, it shouldn't draw from English. And maybe an existing language would suffice.

    130. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Too bad that has never been tried: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simplified_Spelling_Board

    131. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I could be wrong, but I think the only Latin in English is the French. (England was a dual language country for a time)

    132. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      All he said was English is the standard international language. And he was right.

      How many billion Chinese people are studying Spanish?

    133. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Languages's inconsistency repeats nature's. Hence natural languages are more expressive than formal languages, which simply ban statements such as "This statement is a lie."

    134. Re:Easy grammar by Livius · · Score: 1

      There are plenty of languages that have perfectly phonetic spelling

      In part that's because those languages got lucky, and the pronunciation has been more or less stable since printing became widespread. In other languages, people started using slightly different pronunciations interchangeably, and it made sense to keep the older and more familiar spelling rather than use two spellings for what everyone agreed was the same word just with two equivalent pronunciations. Then the old pronunciation died out and that left the pronunciation and spelling inconsistent. In some languages the spelling could keep up but English in particular had massive pronunciation changes and the spelling were left behind, and now there isn't even an expectation that the written and spoken forms would be related.

    135. Re:Easy grammar by tjanke · · Score: 1

      The problem is that English, a true bastard of a language in every sense of the word ...

      I agree with you that written English is fucked up. But it is precisely that bastard nature that makes spoken English among the richest, most flexible and most expressive of languages. Nouns can be verbs can be adjectives, which give enormous flexibility to the speaker to make themselves understood; you can use existing words in new ways, even coin new ones (a great many the words we think of as standard English today were coined by Shakespeare). We have so many synonyms, with overlapping, subtle differences of meaning, you can find just - exactly - the right one to express what you're thinking. A Bulgarian comp sci professor of mine spoke 4 languages fluently: English, German, Russian, and of course Bulgarian. I asked him which was his favorite. "English", he replied, without hesitation. "Anything you can think of, any idea you wish to express, you can find a way to say it in English. That's not true of most other languages."

      --
      Cheers, Tim -- Tim Janke Part mad scientist, part lion tamer: sr. software engineer, global team leader, project mana
    136. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      English works *because* of its complexity. People have an intrinsic need to argue, and English provides the flexibility and variety needed to do so at length.

    137. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're highlighting the bits that make English so beautiful.

    138. Re: Easy grammar by wvmarle · · Score: 1

      Easy spelling!

      There are 26 letters in the English alphabet, but 44 phonemes. I'd start there. Expand the alphabet to 44 letters; one letter per sound and double le(tt)ers are not necessary. Thus no ambiguity on how to spell a word; you spell it like it sounds. It would be like a metric system for speaking/spelling...in that it makes sense. So "two" becomes "tu" or maybe just "2" (wi yuz tu karakters wen won wil du?), "too" becomes "also", and "to" becomes anything...maybe "tob".

      You nicely illustrate how incredibly hard this is to do correctly.

      The word "to" would have to become "tu" (certainly not "tob" as it would sound more like "tahb" - the "ah" sound as in the "won" you use for "one") to keep in line with your previous examples, as it's pronounced exactly the same as "too" and "two". Furthermore you shouldn't use "also" without pointing out that the "o" in that word has to become a new letter, as you have used the letter "o" already in "won" (as phonetic spelling of the number "one").

      This is also ignoring the constant spelling updates you'd have to perform to keep track with changes in pronunciation of different words over time (which, in part, is why we have so many spellings in English that do not fully match current pronunciation), or regional differences in pronunciation of various words: which version of English would be the standard? You won't even be able to say "British" or "American" as neither has a standard pronunciation but comes with huge regional differences. Those spelling updates will seriously mess up reading as a large part of reading is done by recognising the word as a whole, rather than looking at and parsing individual letters.

      On the other hand, some languages like Latvian have settled down on their spelling only quite recently, and it's possible for a non-speaker like me to read out Latvian text and have native speakers understand what I say, while I have no idea of the meaning of the words, just reproducing the sounds. The same supposedly works in Hungarian, and probably some more languages.

    139. Re:Easy grammar by LordLimecat · · Score: 1

      If you know about the v to b and t to z "soundshifts"

      Fun fact about those soundshifts. Any first year student of German is aware of the W->V and V->F sound shift when going from English to German. What you may NOT know is that there is a software glitch in the brains of all beginner and intermediate Germans students of the English language. The glitch is such that it makes them (most of the time) pronounce the word "vegetable" as "wedgetable"; if they were applying the rules correctly, they would know that they letter they normally pronounce as "f" is instead pronounced "v". Instead, they do a mental double-shift or perhaps a backwards conversion, and go from "v" to "w".

      Try it; any time you suspect someone may be an undercover German learning english, get them to pronounce "vegetable".

    140. Re:Easy grammar by stephenmac7 · · Score: 1

      The Kanji isn't that bad, once you learn it. Sometimes, I have a hard time reading a word that isn't written in kanji when it's one that usually is (where the person who wrote it forgot to convert it in their IME or was lazy if it's hand-written). Also, it really does help with distinguishing homophones.

      --
      "No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session." -- Judge Gideon J. Tucker
    141. Re: Easy grammar by mjwx · · Score: 1

      English is NOT a "constructed" language, because that implies intent.

      English is more of a trash heap of things we borrowed from all those other languages that over time people have grafted rules onto to try to decode and standardize. :-P

      But (and I say this in the nicest possible way because it's my native language), English is a dog's breakfast of bits and pieces string together with loose rules and exceptions which require you to know from which language we stole the various bits and pieces.

      That was his point.

      Languages evolve. Every single language has idiosyncrasies like English, dialects, slang and so on so forth. No language is pure.

      Words and definitions change over time because their usage and the requirements of them change over time. Fantastic used to literally mean "out of a fantasy" as in it cannot be real, not simply "really, really good" as it does now. If an ordered, constructed language like Esperanto caught on, within a generation or four it too will have irregularities due to colloquial usage, slang, misunderstandings and people who haven't learned the language properly (especially children and infants).

      Also, its not just English that adopts words from other languages, you'll find whole English words inserted into other languages.

      In fact, it's English's ability to survive being mangled that leads to its popularity. Get an American, Indian and Cockney in the same room and they can still communicate despite using radically different dialects and styles. English is a very fault tolerant language.

      --
      Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.
    142. Re:Easy grammar by Zeroko · · Score: 1

      "They" has historically been used as such, & some still use it that way. But of course, that has the same problems as "you" not distinguishing number does.

    143. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      wanker

    144. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Additional issue you would have with Russian & all Slavic languages: nouns have different suffixes that correpond to usage. Often the whole word changes, not just suffix.

    145. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The Italians around my part of the US solved that with "Yous." It sounds fictional but it's not. "What's up with yous?" to a group. Makes my brain hurt, but I get it.

    146. Re:Easy grammar by crolix · · Score: 1

      This reminds me...

      The New EC Regulations:

      The European Commision have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that will be known as "Euro-English":

      In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"... Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

      There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

      In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the languag is disgracful, and they should go away.

      By the 4th yar, peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

      After ziz fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sesibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezy tu understand ech ozer.

      ZE DREM VIL FINALI KOM TRU ! ! !

      --
      Read the rest of this comment...
    147. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A couple of points. First of all, a new form of International English is emerging that non-native speakers use with each other. It's not 'broken English' though, it's simplified English. You'll never hear it, because when people speak to you they will use the most sophisticated English they can manage, which is only natural. Secondly, although these and other forms of English are very widely spoken, there are still billions of people who don't speak English and one of the key reasons is the sheer difficulty of learning a completely illogical and inconsistent language. English is taking over for historical/financial reasons, not because it 'deserves' it. This suggests there is a limit to how far English will eventually extend.

    148. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Simplified spelling only works with people who pronounce English words the same way. This is difficult or impossible to achieve within England itself, let alone the rest of the world. When the whole world has an American accent, them we will see.

    149. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What I've found is that learning a couple of romance languages has stuffed up my already-average spelling in English. I've gotten used to a bit more regularity and logic in spelling than exists in English, and now realise how much of the language I just 'knew'. As for rules, I see that " 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' " has hit the skids owing to there being so many exceptions as to make it useless for learning.

    150. Re:Easy grammar by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      Wow am I transparent! By training, yes, but not for a long time.

      I'm glad that someone else could concede the same idea. It is likely that brevity would again become an issue once it starts to be spoken quite a lot. Shortcuts would be taken especially by English speakers since we love to make things shorter to say

    151. Re:Easy grammar by GerryHattrick · · Score: 1

      Not forgetting Volapuk - a gift from God? Or Interlingua? First, research why other efforts have failed. Second, note that text-speak and pidgin are getting closer all the time.

    152. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the languag is disgracful, and they should go away.

      By the 4th yar, peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

      Dubl leters somtims represent distinkt sunds so just droping zem doesn't quit vork. Also, I zink you didn't really zink ze replasement for "th" al ze vay zrugh.

    153. Re:Easy grammar by ellep · · Score: 1

      Added Dutch

      Wind - wind - wind
      Wasser - water - water
      Stein - stone - steen
      Fisch - fish - vis
      Rabe - Raven - raaf
      Kraehe - Crow - kraai
      Grass - grass - gras
      Haus - house - huis
      Stock - Stick - stok
      Von - From - van
      unter - under - onder
      Wolf - wolf - wolf
      Fuchs - fox - vos
      Strom(as in river) - stream - stroom
      die See (not der See, that is a lake) - sea - zee
      Auge - eye - oog
      Ohr - ear - oor
      Arm - arm - arm
      Herz - heart - hart
      Damm - dam - dam

    154. Re:Easy grammar by ellep · · Score: 1

      Also the confusion of "die See" and "das Meer" is brilliant:

      In the languages I know:
      English: sea - lake
      French: mer - lac
      German: Meer - See
      Dutch: zee - meer

      so a [lak] is always freshwater, but a [see] or a [meer] depends on where you are

    155. Re:Easy grammar by dbrueck · · Score: 1

      Yeah, "broken English" is more of a tongue in cheek term, although what's interesting to me is that a non-native person is the one who referred to it that way to me (a tour guide in Hong Kong FWIW). His point - and I agree and I think you do too, to some extent - is that while the use of English-as-spoken-by-a-native-English-speaker is growing, it is still relatively small, but a form of simplified English as a kind of universal common tongue is pretty widespread.

      And while I agree that English is taking over for historical/financial (and technical) reasons, IMO a lot of the drive *currently* is because English is whatever "everybody else" is learning too - it has momentum to become the go-to lingua franca all over the place.

      Because English isn't /completely/ illogical nor /completely/ inconsistent (yes there are many exceptions and special cases you just have to memorize, but there is also a decent amount of regularity and predictability) and because the simplified version non-natives use cancels out a lot of that, it doesn't seem like the language's quirks will necessarily put any sort of limits on how widespread it will be used.

    156. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I elect to drink 0.33 litre doses of Belgian Tripels, Imperial Stouts and perhaps Double IPAs. And others, but please, no king sized glasses of macro lagers. I pity the fools who prefer large dosages of yellow water that only get marketed in pints in order to sell 10 per cent more in each serving and increase the profit of the macroscreweries. Spoken like a true hipster, I know, but that's the only logical reason why the Imperial pint continues to exist (and even spread to countries that never used to use the measuring system before).

    157. Re:Easy grammar by Coisiche · · Score: 1

      there are a lot of native English speakers, a ton more who know it very well as a second language with a good degree of proficiency

      In my experience many Europeans who have it as a second language use it more adeptly than alleged native speakers. On first hearing a Swede on TeamSpeak, I was convinced he was English because there wasn't a hint of accent.

    158. Re:Easy grammar by dunkelfalke · · Score: 1

      Russian doesn't have regular pronunciation because of the fucked up stress system. Even native speakers can get confused when they try to read a multisyllable word they haven't heard yet. Czech would be a much better example of a Slavic language with regular (but difficult in its own way) pronunciation.

      --
      "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever" -- David St. Hubbins, Spinal Tap
    159. Re:Easy grammar by dbrueck · · Score: 1

      Yeah, this might be too broad of a generalization, but it seems common that when a person learns an additional language really well they tend to avoid at least some of the common grammar mistakes that native speakers make (which makes sense, because in learning the language they have to commit to memory actual rules of some sort, while a native speaker just sort of knows the language intuitively and often has trouble articulating the specifics of e.g. conjugation patterns).

      IMO what's cool is that learning an additional language gives you insight into your native language's eccentricities and can help you improve your use of your native language.

    160. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Did you mean to say 'mierda de toro'? Anyway demography says that Spanish will have a lot of speakers, even if you are wrong.

    161. Re:Easy grammar by putaro · · Score: 1

      Well, you could say that about Japanese as well, at least with regards to hiragana, the phonetic alphabet. Doesn't make the language a lot easier to learn, though.

    162. Re:Easy grammar by hackertourist · · Score: 1

      But Esperanto hasn't succeeded, so we'd need a new language loosely based on it. Let's call it....
      Esperanto++

    163. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      but it's too pervasive to be just accidental.

      It's not pervasive, it's simply disordered, and there are many more disordered than ordered forms. With something with as many elements (eg. words etc.) as language the chance that it would be systematic is vanishingly small. It's got little to do with there being a "reason" it's unsystematic, simply history.

      In particular things like language gender, arbirtrary verb forms and stupid spelling have no rational basis, simply history and peoples investment in that history.

    164. Re:Easy grammar by stealth_finger · · Score: 1

      We could change the spelling of words like "through" and "tough" to "thru" and "tuff".

      Fuck that, people just need to learn to spell :P The other good thing about English is even if words are spelt wrong as long as the letters make the right sounds it's decipherable.

      --
      Wanna buy a shirt?
      https://www.redbubble.com/people/stealthfinger/shop?asc=u
    165. Re:Easy grammar by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      The problem is not that.
      You picked a particular bad or good example, depending from which point you look at it.
      Most words in german, that start with veg... (even all perhaps?) are spoken 'weg...' in german. So Vegetarier aka vegetarian is spoken Wegetarier.
      In german, the V is spoken like an F e.g. in 'viele' (many) but spoken as a W in many other words like Vase.
      Actually I never noticed that english speakers pronounce the V in vegetarian different than germans do. The V as either F or W is widespread 'confusing' in many european languages.
      I guess the problem is that we use a roman alphabet which only once fitted perfectly to latin. In latin the V is 95% pronounced as a W (they had no letter W)
      The V sound is very different whether it is at the beginning of a word, or in the middle. At the beginning it is either W or F in the middle it is nearly always a mixture between f, b and w, like in travel (eng.) ... don't have a good german example, as most such words that come to mind have an F in the middle. (Taverna or Taverne are still 'foreign' words in german so must be considered an exception anyway)

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    166. Re: Easy grammar by stealth_finger · · Score: 1

      (wi yuz tu karakters wen won wil du?)

      Is yuz supposed to be just? I can only assume so. Y makes a y sounds though. If you want the J use a J and then you're missing the end sound of the word. So you need to spell it juzt which then changes the sound so swop the z to a s and away you go. And what's the point of changing one to won when won is already a different word meaning a different thing? Wun is free I guess but why better than one? Leave it as it is in it's naturally progressed and progressing manor, any changes that need to be made will make themselves.

      --
      Wanna buy a shirt?
      https://www.redbubble.com/people/stealthfinger/shop?asc=u
    167. Re:Easy grammar by gbjbaanb · · Score: 1

      correct - that's because once your fizzy drink that is designed to be drunk cold warms up you start to taste it....

      real ales should be drunk at room temperature so you can appreciate all their complex flavours

    168. Re:Easy grammar by sabbede · · Score: 1
      Yes, but Mandarin (and Cantonese) are analytic tonal languages. Radically different at the most basic level, such languages are unique to China and SE Asia. Not only are they incredibly difficult for speakers of other languages to learn, 4-17% of the rest of the world is tone deaf and can't learn them.

      Spanish, English and Hindi are Indo-European languages so transitioning between them is considerably easier than languages from other families.

    169. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The backhoe that I used to drag a box was ruined in the process
      The backhoe that I used to drag a box ruined it.

      You can write English unambiguously without forcing every speaker (and learner!) to assign imaginary sexes to backhoes and boxes.

    170. Re:Easy grammar by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      Like it or not, English is the standard international language.

      Bullshit. Spanish has more native speakers than English. Mandarin has close to three times as many as English. Hindi and Arabic are each quite close behind English.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_languages_by_number_of_native_speakers

      If you're going to reply with your first word as "bullshit" it would be wise to ensure you know what you are talking about.

      It is pretty much the definition of a "standard international language" that you measure it by the number of people who use it who SPECIFICALLY ARE NOT native speakers.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    171. Re:Easy grammar by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      The most widely known language in the world is "broken English"

      Or, to give it its more formal title, US English.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    172. Re:Easy grammar by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      On the other hand, some people struggle for years and never manage to learn a trilled "r"

      I can't roll my r's you insensitive clod! Mind you, as someone from the south of England, this isn't uncommon.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    173. Re:Easy grammar by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      1. Genders. It seems archaic, right? But there are practical reasons. For example, consider the sentence:

      "I used a backhoe to drag a box but it was ruined in the process"

      Which is ruined, the backhoe or the box? In Icelandic it's obvious because a backhoe is feminine but a box is masculine.

      Yes, but if you ruined another feminine noun, or used a masculine tool to ruin the box, you still wouldn't know. Any language has some ambiguities, most of which can be avoided if you really have to by re-phrasing.

      "I used a backhoe to drag a box, but the latter was ruined in the process."

      "I used a backhoe to drag a box, unfortunately ruining the backhoe in the process."

      Or whatever.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    174. Re:Easy grammar by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      The same is true of many languages. Spanish and Russian have regular pronunciation. I've heard that French has finite pronunciation rules, though they are complex, but haven't learned it.

      French is certainly regular, and the rules are no more complicated than Spanish. Same with Italian and German.

      I think that probably most European languages other than English have regular pronunciation.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    175. Re:Easy grammar by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      Annoyingly it also dropped the you singular and you plural- no tu/vous distinction which makes it clear if you're talking to an individual or group.

      The best alternative I know if (even as a Northerner) is y'all, the only Southernism I picked up while living there.

      For large groups it's "all y'all"

      In real life, it's always pretty obvious whether you're speaking to an individual or a group.

      If there is a group of people in front of me and I want to insult them all, I just say "you lot are a bunch of snot-guzzelling gazebos", if it's just one "you, yes you Mr Twatwaffle, you are an utter shower of sick."

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    176. Re:Easy grammar by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      This IS a valid sentence: Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

      That is such an extreme case as to be meaningless. Even as a native English speaker, I need that explained to me every time I see it, as none of the uses of "buffalo" are ones I have ever written or said myself (as I'm not from the US I need to be reminded that Buffalo is also a place).

      It's a bit like saying that English has stupidly long words like "antidisestablishmentarianism" or "floccinaucinihilipilification." Yes, they're in the dictionary, but no one ever uses them except as a joke.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    177. Re: Easy grammar by Catbeller · · Score: 1

      yuz = use.

      We can't recognize our own words if spelled phonetically!

      Ben Franklin had a crack at this during his own lifetime, trying out a phonetic alphabet. He corresponded with his son that way, for a bit.
      In the 70's, there was Unifon, I believe, one letter for each unique sound. And there are so many more.

      I have to say, learning English spelling would take about two days instead of seven years. We really do waste a hell of a lot of our kids' time with idiotic adherence to learning past mistakes. And no, I have no idea if it could ever be corrected.

      However, we *could* adopt phonetic spelling as an alternative, secondary spelling, the way the Japanese language can be spelled using three different sets of characters. But using real time translation apps will kill such needs, I guess.

    178. Re: Easy grammar by Catbeller · · Score: 1

      And the correct pronunciation of "buyed" is "bawt". Today. Four hundred years ago? "Bawgkt", as it is spelled. Fight was "figkt. The English language spells out exact how stubborn and irrational the main British culture (that would be Planet America, too) is, when you strip the paint off and stare at it for a while.

      English usage froze almost solid the day they started printing dictionaries. It won't change much - the past is no longer prologue when it comes to pronunciation drift. We also have audio recordings, so pronunciation is pretty much what is was a hundred years ago.

    179. Re:Easy grammar by Catbeller · · Score: 1

      The words were pronounced differently in different parts of the English speaking world, so the spellings matched the different ways. Dictionary writers nailed down their own preferences, so we're stuck with it.

    180. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The accented characters were the easiest way to represent each of those sounds with a single character while retaining its otherwise familiar orthography and being easy for then-contemporary printing presses to reproduce.

      In light of the modern age, it probably would have been better to substitute some existing letters in unusual ways to make typing easier, but who could have imagined how the computer age would turn out?

    181. Re: Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What? How do irregular verbs add shades of meaning?

      "silent letters" are not how we disambiguate homonyms (plenty of homonyms have identical spellings), rather they are mostly just an unfortunate consequence of English sucking in words from various source languages without adapting the words' orthography to be consistent.

      BTW plenty of "real" people DO use Esperanto every day, and it has not become as irregular as English or Spanish.

    182. Re:Easy grammar by Cthulhu's+Physicist · · Score: 1

      Klingon!

      Disclaimer, I've actually taught English as a second language to scientists and technical personnel...

    183. Re:Easy grammar by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      French is certainly regular, and the rules are no more complicated than Spanish.

      In Spanish, you pronounce every letter every time. Accents do not change the pronunciation of the letters, but change the stresses on the syllables.

      In French, Angers is pronounced An-zhe[mumble]. Not every letter is pronounced, and the rules as to which are "dropped" are unclear to someone who casually picked up some French without formal lessons.

    184. Re:Easy grammar by aminorex · · Score: 1

      Mostly, but there is a significant Latin influence in Germanic languages, and Gaelic languages as well, and thus the Latin influence comes from pretty much every side. Much of the distinctively Greek influence is from Gaelic.

      --
      -I like my women like I like my tea: green-
    185. Re:Easy grammar by aminorex · · Score: 1

      "The Kanji isn't that bad, once you learn it."

      Aye, there's the rub.

      --
      -I like my women like I like my tea: green-
    186. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      First, woosh.

      Second, as an non-native English speaker -- sorry to say that -- normal English is not much better than the crippled one the joke purports.

      Actually, I think English is the Pluto of languages: we should recognize it is not a true language but a patchwork and downgrade it accordingly.

    187. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      French are not all fluent in English. I speak Portuguese which is a quite distant cousin of French.

      If I speak English, both parties are inconvenienced by the use of an alien, inadequate(*) language. As an international language, English is a POS.

      (*) inadequate here means French and Portuguese have a lot in common, even pertaining to Catholic countries and the like. English is from a different reality, all concepts are alien and one has to seriously distort the message to compensate deviations arising from using English, even when the speakers are fluent.

    188. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > The biggest gripe I have with Esperanto is the use of accented characters. Why oh why??

      Accented chars allow easier representation of pronunciation so that one has not to do what is necessary to do in English: to know each and every word pronunciation by rote. These days people are reconstructing Old English pronunciation and we see Shakespeare plays were actually even more beautiful when words rhymed.

      For an image of what us foreigners face when dealing with the "beautiful" English, read this: http://ncf.idallen.com/english.html

      Actually, don't read that, but instead see the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1edPxKqiptw

      Simply put, English is wrong. Friends don't let friends speak English.

      If I write anything in Esperanto, any guy in the world can pronounce it -- even if he cannot understand the meaning. This after just a month learning it. It's that good.

    189. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > As for Esperanto, I have found it an insanely easy language to understand, and I think it would be the case for every well-traveled European.

      That's the basic idea: being easy.

      > But the reverse is not true - I would have no hope of speaking it correctly, because I have no idea how they decided which language to borrow from for specific words.

      No, you would speak it correctly and in no time, because the way you're thinking does not apply to Esperanto, only to English.

      See, there's "caught" and "laughter" and you have to hear them once to know how to speak them.

      In Esperanto, all that is written the same way is spoken the same way -- phonetic language == written language (but intonation can vary).

      That means you can learn very few words (or rather syllables) and then by extension you'll know how to speak every word.

    190. Re:Easy grammar by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      So you speak Portugese to people who don't speak it, and they speak French back, and you know no French. More likely you are lying to make a point. And the only point you made is that you are a liar. In practice, those living in border areas will learn the other language, even if they have never studied it. And English is better for an idea to be conveyed than any other language on the planet (because it incorporates any and all words for common ideas that aren't otherwise articulable).

    191. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Very poor text, if you allow me. Plenty of fallacies, some illogical thinking and in certain places the author even criticizes Esperanto citing some of its qualities!

    192. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > Esperanto is too Euro-centric. It's based on how European languages, derived from Latin, work. It is thus totally unsuitable as a replacement for east Asian languages like Japanese, Chinese and Korean.

      Actually, the Chinese are among the best Esperanto speakers in the world.

      You can read a famous Chinese Esperanto magazine on the net: El Popola Cinio (actually it's written inio, but this is Slashdot...). That means "From People's China" or "From Popular China".

      Obviously a Chinese magazine will sport Chinese point-of-views. I can see their site in my country, but if you're in the US, that would be a sure sign for future increased surveillance.

      You have been warned.

    193. Re:Easy grammar by Rei · · Score: 1

      With three genders in Icelandic, the odds of a collision between an arbitrary two is only one in three. As you might say, "good enough for government work". Languages are never, and can never be "perfect", there's always tradeoffs on how you allocate space. But I have to say, your example of how to do it in English was a pretty bad tradeoff (having to repeat "the backhoe")

      --
      Trump's plan to get rid of Mueller appears to be 'be so guilty of so many things that Mueller works himself to death.'
    194. Re:Easy grammar by Rei · · Score: 1

      Your first example sounds weird, and the second is unambiguously not valid English. Neither express exactly the same sense of action as the example. And the sentence I gave was just one example out of countless. Word genders are just word groupings which help reduce sentence ambiguity. You can detach them from the concept of a human gender; you could call them wizzlewozzles, it makes no difference. They just reuse the pronouns from actual gendered beings, which saves some linguistic space.

      Also, the concept that one has to learn a gender for each word... first off, in most languages with genders, there's patterns for recognizing what words are what gender. They're not always universal, of course (in an ideal language they would be simple and universal), but they're important. Secondly, there's all sorts of data a person has to learn about each word to be able to speak properly as it is. Even if you have to learn a gender for each word, patterns aside, it's just a tiny piece in a much larger puzzle - that puzzle being reliably and concisely transmitting information across a noisy connection.
       

      --
      Trump's plan to get rid of Mueller appears to be 'be so guilty of so many things that Mueller works himself to death.'
    195. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I suggest a word for this language: "diversity". It shall refer to superficial characteristics, but it will be used to prevent discrimination on the basis of essential characteristics, while justifying the prohibition by claiming "diversity" is necessary to optimize those essential characteristics. We'll get a lot of mileage out of this one, I assure you.

    196. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > So you speak Portugese to people who don't speak it, and they speak French back, and you know no French. More likely you are lying to make a point. And the only point you made is that you are a liar.

      Well, that is one possible (though simplistic) view of the world. I suppose telling you I'm not a liar would be self-defeating, uh? Like in all criminals claiming to be innocent...

      > In practice, those living in border areas will learn the other language, even if they have never studied it.

      That's not what I said. And Portugal is not near France. Spain is. But I'm Brazilian. There's an entire ocean between me and France. And France was cited as being too hard for me to understand -- not easy. And yet English manages to be worse than that. Talk about being lousy... you can call me a liar until you lose your voice, as there's no sound in /. yet... :-P

      > And English is better for an idea to be conveyed than any other language on the planet (because it incorporates any and all words for common ideas that aren't otherwise articulable).

      You gotta be kidding. Or your universe of ideas is very limited.

      There's a lot of concepts I've encountered throughout my life that were most difficult to translate (maybe in part due to my incompetence). For instance, did you know the expression "indian chief" does not make sense? (I'm talking about the indians we got in Brazil). Yet everybody uses that expression in English, mostly because of ancient feudal concepts linked to a master and serfs.

      English has not all of the words for all ideas that are in the world. Did you know it's extremely hard to translate terms and concepts in Law, because the realities of countries as close as France and Germany are very different?

      Since English has got all the words for an International language, how do I use it to talk about a jabuticaba with a Japanese?

    197. Re:Easy grammar by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      There's a lot of concepts I've encountered throughout my life that were most difficult to translate (maybe in part due to my incompetence). For instance, did you know the expression "indian chief" does not make sense? (I'm talking about the indians we got in Brazil). Yet everybody uses that expression in English, mostly because of ancient feudal concepts linked to a master and serfs.

      How does "Indian Chief" not make sense? Was the Chief not the head of the tribe? IF you don't like that connotation, pick another. Village Elder is another valid way to express a similar idea. The point I was making about English is that there are 10,000 ways to say most things, so if you don't like "Indian Chief" don't use it. Use another term with a meaning closer to what you mean. And when there is no word that means it, use a foreign word. The English word for Kabuki is Kabuki.

      And, in your idiocy talking about French and such, you do realize that Chief is French (even retains the original French spelling), from the same root as cabeca (no unicode, and I can't be arsed to make the "c" with a tail). Head, head. And in English, "chief" can mean "most important among equals", which may be closer to the idea you are looking for. Such as "red is the chief color of fast cars" Red is no "better" or "worse" than any other color, but somehow first.

      And, if there isn't a word to express the idea, there is no limit to the number of words you may use. I never claimed English was the most brief language, but that it was the most verbose. Chief, like thousands of other words, came from French (which came from Latin and others before that). Sometimes the words come straight from Latin. But the words at there, and in greater number than other languages.

      Since English has got all the words for an International language, how do I use it to talk about a jabuticaba with a Japanese?

      What does "Japanese" have to do with it? If you want to talk about jabuticaba, talk about it. It has a word in English for it. "jabuticaba". Like I said, English is inclusive. Not a linguistic bigot like you. If you don't believe me, look up the English Wikipedia page, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J...

    198. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      it would be hard to replace english. That why there are a lot like me learning english native speaking. I learn at http://preply.com/en/skype/eng... to improve my chances in landing a better job.

    199. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > The English word for Kabuki is Kabuki.
      > If you want to talk about jabuticaba, talk about it. It has a word in English for it. "jabuticaba".

      You should have a good time watching Frankenstein (and my spelling checker disagrees with you and signals it as non-English).

      Also, when you incorporate a word from other language into English, you cannot be sure it comes with all the meanings it had in the original language. That's one way how we end up with false cognates: when people use the same word but each one understand it differently.

      Congrats, when I said English was inefficient I forgot that dimension. Thanks for adding it to this discussion as supporting my point-of-view.

      And for the record, I never said I speak with French people; I said they would understand me better if I spoke Portuguese instead of English. I maybe wrong about that, this is a too wide generalization; some French might prefer English.

      I'm saying leaving a Latin language, going through a Germanic one (like English) and then returning to another Latin-derived one is a recipe for problems.

      It seems to me a reasonable assessment.

      Think about translating from a German talking an English in Portuguese. Think about the loss in meaning...

    200. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sorry, but I'm a very well-educated native English speaker and I can assure you that both of those are perfectly grammatical, unambiguous and colloquial English sentences that carry the exact same meaning as your original one, but are better-written.

      Having studied German, French and Spanish (as well as Japanese and Korean), I can tell you flat out that gender doubles the amount of learning that you have to do and enormously complicates the grammar. It*s not enough to learn that "wagen" and "auto" both mean "car". I also have to remember which is masculine and which is neuter (which I can't at the moment). And of course, articles and case endings will all have to change to match these imaginary genders. You may think that there is a pattern or logic to language genders, but in real languages, that's rarely the case "Madchen" (young girl) is neuter because it's a diminutive. An actual girl has no gender, but a car does...

      I'm sure that people in languages with gender think that it adds value, Just like people think that odd spellings and irregular verbs add value in English. They're both wrong. I can assure you that English and Japanese speakers have no problem constructing unambiguous, gender-free sentences. Besides, the ability to construct an ambiguous sentence--if you want to--is a feature, not a bug. A thousand jokes prove this.

      If you really want to clarify parts of speech in a sentence you can do what Japanese does and mark them explicitly. For example:
      backhoe ga hiita nagara hakko wo kaborimashita
      backhoe (Subj) while pulling broke the box (obj)

      hakko wa hiita nagara backhow ga kaborimashita
      as for the box (topic), while being pulled it broke the backhoe (subj).

      Using grammatical markers also allows a great deal more flexibility in word order than most European languages, while adding very little in additional learning or grammatical complexity.

      Gender is a stupid idea.

    201. Re:Easy grammar by otavio.pereira · · Score: 1

      ver are my mod points?! mod parent +1 komik

    202. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What's wrong with "yous", as in:

      Come on then, I'll have all of yous!

      ( Capcha: boorish :) )

    203. Re:Easy grammar by houghi · · Score: 1
      --
      Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
    204. Re:Easy grammar by houghi · · Score: 1

      "I used a backhoe to drag a box but itoe was ruined in the process."

      This will lead to confusion as well and makes thing rather difficult to pronounce:
      "I used a backhoe to drag a wooden toe but itoe was ruined in the process."
      or
      "I used am ilk to drag a box but itlk was ruined in the process." So people will sart using exceptions.

      You could try to use what number it is in the line, something like it1, it2, it3, but that will be confusing as hell. So what would be better is to forbit the use of 'it' so it becomes:
      "I used a backhoe to drag a box but the backhoe was ruined in the process."

      It could bedcomew interesting with:
      "I used a wooden backhoe to drag a silver backhoe but the backhoe was ruined in the process." Mmm, doen't work either. Or even:

      "I used a backhoe to drag a backhoe but the backhoe was ruined in the process."

      --
      Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
    205. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      you can thank the grammar nazi's for that. those odd things would disappear from the language if they didn't run around vehemently "correcting" people any time they got some obscure rule wrong on an internet forum.

    206. Re:Easy grammar by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      You should have a good time watching Frankenstein (and my spelling checker disagrees with you and signals it as non-English).

      My spell checker signals a large number of my words as "non-English" as well. The abridged dictionary used for spell checkers doesn't define a language.

      And for the record, I never said I speak with French people; I said they would understand me better if I spoke Portuguese instead of English. I maybe wrong about that, this is a too wide generalization; some French might prefer English.

      Having been to France and Portugal (not Brazil, closest I've been there is Argentina), I'll assert that the French speak to the Portuguese in English. The finer points of nuance are irrelevant if the language doesn't match.

      The one time we got very lost was the only time were weren't surrounded by people that spoke English. So I tried Spanish, Russian, and Chinese (the only languages I'm conversant in). Given that Spanish didn't work for anything useful, I doubt Portuguese would have. A quick check of Google Translate seems to indicate that Spanish is closer to French than Portuguese is, at least for the directions we were looking for.

      I'm saying leaving a Latin language, going through a Germanic one (like English) and then returning to another Latin-derived one is a recipe for problems.

      I'm saying that, with some effort, one can have a discussion solely in Latin-derived English (for the complex words). Then, by your standards, English would be no worse than anything else.

    207. Re:Easy grammar by LordLimecat · · Score: 1

      Ah I did not know that. Interesting to hear-- I had always heard it explained as a faulty double-shift due to over-zealous application of a common rule. I was not aware that "V" was pronounced as a "w" in german at times-- but then I've only done a very introductory study of the language.

      In latin the V is 95% pronounced as a W (they had no letter W)

      Yes, which is quite funny when you consider that when Julius Caesar said "vini vidi vici", it was not proclaimed in a loud manly voice as "VANEY VIDI VICHI", but rather "waney widi wiki" (as V is "w" and c is "k"-- ie, cerberus -->kerberos).

    208. Re:Easy grammar by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      Haha, it is not that easy.

      First of all, it is: veni vidi vici.

      Jumping to the end, Kerboros is a greek word. So writing it in latin implies you still use the greek pronounciation (but americans are extremely bad in figuring the correct pronounciation and invent 'stupid' rules how to pronounce ancient greek or latin words. When I hear 'Zeus' evoced by an american I clearly know why the ancient gods left earth)

      It was not pronounced "waney widi wiki", it was simply pronounced as it is written. Hint: roman/latin alphabet, roman/latin language. Why should 'veni' be pronounced 'waney'? Well, perhaps my reading skills regarding your attempt to make a 'sounding' word lack. After rereading it a few times and making variations of the sound, I wonder if you got it right.

      Anyway, Vici ... the C is is spoken like the ch in chasm, or in the word 'witch'. So perhaps Wichi. Vidi would be 'weedee' imho, if I had to transmogrify into american english.

      Veni, is a bit tough for me to transcript into a well sounding english word :)

      'C' is not k. It depends on the vocal after it. Either it is like k, as in kErberos and kAleidoscope, or like a 'tz' as in 'ciao!'.

      Meanwhile it is accepted that old latin was spoken/pronounced very similar to modern italian.

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    209. Re:Easy grammar by LordLimecat · · Score: 1

      Just to clarify; Kerberos is a network specification related to authentication and commonly used with Windows; its name is an obvious reference to the greek / roman mythology. I simply used it because its pronounciation is well known (at least to IT guys), and is almost exactly how cerberus is pronounced (at least, as I recall my latin teacher pronouncing it all those years ago).

      Anyway, Vici ... the C is is spoken like the ch in chasm, or in the word 'witch'.

      That is in Italian. Classical latin does not use "c" for soft "tch" sounds; so an Italian would indeed say "vitchi", but Caesar would have said "Wiki". So "AFFICIÓ" would be pronounced "AFIKIO", not "AFITCHIO" (/af.fi.ki.o/).

      I am seeing claims that there is an Ecclesiastical Latin (presumably used in the church) which WOULD have the pronounciations you say-- but that is not Classical Latin.

      In fact, wikipedia seems to corroborate this:
      "Veni, vidi, vici" (Classical Latin: [weni widi wiki]; Ecclesiastical Latin: [vni vidi viti]; "

      It sounds like you studied "Ecclesiastical Latin", which I was not aware was a thing until just now. But as I said, in Classical Latin there is no "v" sound; "video" is always "wideo", and C is always hard:

      grapheme . . .English examples
      c, k . . . . . . . .Always hard as k in sky, never soft as in Caesar, cello, or social
      u . . . . . . . . . Sometimes at the beginning of a syllable, or after g and s, as w in wine, never as v in vine

      Sources:
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L...
      http://www.orbilat.com/Languag...

    210. Re:Easy grammar by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      Well, does not make much sense to argue with one who does not really know what Kerberos is in the computing world.

      Your assumption what it is, is wrong.

      Your assumption how the C is pronounced in classic latin is wrong, too.

      As a matter of fact, I studied latin for 8 years in school.

      Your 'grapheme examples' make no sense to me.
      The c,k example is plain wrong.
      The V example I don't grasp. What do you exactly want to say with it?
      The 'u' example I don't get at all :)

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    211. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      'C' is not k. It depends on the vocal after it. Either it is like k, as in kErberos and kAleidoscope, or like a 'tz' as in 'ciao!'.
      Meanwhile it is accepted that old latin was spoken/pronounced very similar to modern italian.

      No, in Caesar's time, the classical Latin 'c' would always sounded like 'k'. I don't know who 'accepts' that old Latin (how old?) was spoken/pronounced similarly to modern Italian, but they are wrong.

    212. Re: Easy grammar by Whiteox · · Score: 1

      Read this http://www.uhmc.sunysb.edu/sur...
      A nice bit of research on the origins of the naming of 'America'. Even the Hungarians get a say on this as well as the Welsh. :)

      --
      Don't be apathetic. Procrastinate!
    213. Re:Easy grammar by LordLimecat · · Score: 1

      Those examples of graphemes arent mine, theyre direct from that wikipedia link at the bottom of my post which I suggest you check out. My statements are backed by several sources in my post, and they all agree: for classical (NOT church) latin, "v" is pronounced as a "w". If you want to argue, argue with my sources-- not me. Alternatively, show alternate sources that support your stance.

      Im also not clear what you think kerberos is, but is most certainly used in authentication to generate a session token, and is core to the Windows Active Directory protocol. Again: Dont argue with me, argue with my source:
      Kerberos is a network authentication protocol. It is designed to provide strong authentication for client/server applications by using secret-key cryptography.

      But perhaps you can provide sources, if you wish to contradict either the classical latin or the kerberos statements; so far you've said Im wrong but not provided any support for that claim.

    214. Re:Easy grammar by lanswitch · · Score: 1

      I vote for Indo-European.

    215. Re:Easy grammar by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      Erm, do you answer to the wrong post?

      I argued 3 or 4 times that a latin V is pronounced mostly as a W.

      No idea what you are no reffering to.

      Im also not clear what you think kerberos is, but is most certainly used in authentication to generate a session token
      No, it is not. hint: read wikipedia what kerberos is. And: it has nothing to do with windows at all.

      It is an add on to the TCP/IP protocol stack, where every single "package" of network data is encrypted/authenticated with a new key from a kerberos authority.

      So it has nothing to do with a session or what ever, has nothing to do with log on (active directory) or what ever ... either your network uses Kerberos, or it does not. If it does: EVERYTHING is encrypted/authenitificated ... does not matter if it is a web request or an email or what ever ... a WhatsApp session via WLAN/WiFi.

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    216. Re:Easy grammar by LordLimecat · · Score: 1

      Regarding the latin, I had understood you were contradicting me saying "Veni Vidi Vici" was pronounced with a "w" (english) and a hard "k". If you're agreeing with that then we're agreed, in any case Im basing it on the links I provided.

      No, it is not. hint: read wikipedia what kerberos is. And: it has nothing to do with windows at all.

      Windows' primary selling point is its integration with Active Directory. The primary components of Active Directory are LDAP, Kerberos, and DNS.

      It is an add on to the TCP/IP protocol stack, where every single "package" of network data is encrypted/authenticated with a new key from a kerberos authority.

      Id argue that its not part of the TCP/IP "stack", as its "application layer" but in any case I dont disagree with THAT.

      So it has nothing to do with a session or what ever, has nothing to do with log on (active directory) or what ever

      Active directory is the most widespread use of Kerberos. It is used to secure traffic to / from the domain controller, establish logon credentials, authenticate CIFS traffic, and so forth. Obviously Windows does not have a monopoly on it, but in an enterprise environment (or even small business), when you refer to something supporting kerberos, its usually because you're integrating with Active directory.

      Thats why if you look up what Intel says regarding kerberos, their second page starts talking about Windows AD.

      Im not sure we're disagreeing, really, but you're saying "im wrong" when windows logon is a strong example of what you said (encrypting / authenticating data-- that is how Windows logon sessions authenticate to a domain).

    217. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I vote for Proto-Indo-European. :)

    218. Re: Easy grammar by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      Sometimes the history determines the .meaning, especially when taking the words directly from other languages, but the current usage wins, when talking about the current definition. Even more so when the history is under dispute.

    219. Re:Easy grammar by The_Dougster · · Score: 1

      Try Interlingua https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

      It is sort of a constructed modern vulgar Latin and is at least somewhat intelligible to romance language speakers, unlike Esperanto.

      Bon fortuna!

      --
      Clickety Click ...
    220. Re:Easy grammar by TapeCutter · · Score: 1

      I saw a short doco about a guy who taught his toddler to speak Klingon. The kid loved playing the Klingon "game" up until the age of 3, then suddenly refused to play the Klingon game with dad. Turns out that Klingon is great for describing life aboard a star ship but was useless to the toddler because there were too many everyday things that did not have a Klingon word ( eg: no word for "cookie" ). At 3 years old the kid had already worked out what many geeks (and the submitter) still struggle with, English is useful, Klingon is not.

      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
    221. Re:Easy grammar by TapeCutter · · Score: 1

      4-17% of the rest of the world is tone deaf and can't learn them.

      Nothing to do with tone deafness. If you weren't exposed to an Asian language as a child then your brain simply won't hear some of the sounds in Asian languages, in fact your brain actively filters out the unfamiliar sounds as "noise". The same is true for Asian children, which is why virtually ALL Asians have trouble with "R" and "L" sounds. It's all about how your neurons are wired in the first few years of life, it's why a 2yo can become fluent in a new language in a matter of months while an adult may take years or even decades to achieve "native" fluency.

      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
    222. Re:Easy grammar by sabbede · · Score: 1

      That's definitely a major factor, but tone deafness isn't a problem with recognizing a sound, rather a variation in the pitch of a recognized sound. The morpheme "su" is common in many languages, as are it's two component phonemes. Recognizing and reproducing it isn't a problem, but distinguishing between it's three tonal forms is simply not possible for the tone-deaf.

    223. Re:Easy grammar by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      Not sure if we are contradicting each other.

      Veni, vidi, vici, is pronouned all three times with a W and the C is pronounced Chi. Not with an hard K but similar as in 'chilling'.

      Originally Kerberos was developed on Unix, for
      Unix. The level where it is is a bit tricky, as it is certainly not application level. As soon as you have Kerberos active (pronounced with a hard K btw. ;) ) every TCP/IP package, regardless of 'application' should benefit from it.

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    224. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > the C is pronounced Chi. Not with an hard K but similar as in 'chilling'

      Not in Classical Latin as spoken in Julius Caesar's time. The 'chi' pronunciation of 'ci' came much later.

    225. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      (and other Skandinavians, except Fins)

      Finns are not Scandinavians in the first place you insensitive clod. Try Nordic Countries instead ;)

    226. Re:Easy grammar by dpidcoe · · Score: 1

      English to Spanish is very similar. I knew a guy who worked as a cook with all hispanic kitchen staff. He knew no spanish and they knew zero english, but they were able to understand each other well enough by him speaking english with a strong spanish accent and them speaking spanish with as much english accent as they could muster.

    227. Re:Easy grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Modern Turkish has no irregular verbs. It's not taking over the world.

  2. Esperanto by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Already done.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esperanto

    1. Re:Esperanto by siddesu · · Score: 5, Funny

      But Perl is still easier to learn and with a significantly larger user base.

    2. Re:Esperanto by hcs_$reboot · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yes but esperanto is certainly easier to read.

      --
      Slashdot, fix the reply notifications... You won't get away with it...
    3. Re:Esperanto by tool462 · · Score: 1

      I was going to make a joke about a CPAN module for Esperanto, but lo and behold:
      http://search.cpan.org/~patch/...

    4. Re:Esperanto by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "There's more than one was to say it [sm]."

    5. Re:Esperanto by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Any joke you make about CPAN is on you.

    6. Re:Esperanto by Eythian · · Score: 1

      That's just a stemmer.

      Try this: http://search.cpan.org/~dconwa...

  3. Not a linguist, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...a gender-neutral third person pronoun would be nice to have.

    1. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Locke2005 · · Score: 1

      Don't Chinese languages already have that?

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    2. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Nope. The characters start with male or female radical, depending on, you know, gender. This is China, man, Confucius showed the proper place for the woman long ago.

    3. Re:Not a linguist, but... by invid · · Score: 2

      I know it bothers some people, but I use the singular "they" for a gender neutral third person pronoun. I think once a person gets used to it they will prefer it to "he or she".

      --
      The Moore-Murphy Law: The number of things that will go wrong will double every 2 years.
    4. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      the kitchen.

    5. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      we already have it: He, She, It.

    6. Re:Not a linguist, but... by ezakimak · · Score: 1

      In the preface to the book "What Color is Your Parachute" (2003,2009 editions) the author addresses this, cites some other grammar analysis authors, which also agree. He points out that this is again common usage in the current vernacular (just as it has been in previous periods in history).
      View the page here: https://books.google.com/books...

    7. Re:Not a linguist, but... by dakotapearl · · Score: 2

      I definitely prefer it. Shorter and easier. No need to mention what might be in someones pants when you're trying to talk about something serious.

    8. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Gavagai80 · · Score: 1

      Besides making people mad, you lose information with "it"... I don't know whether you're talking about a salt shaker or a human without more context.

      --
      This space intentionally left blank
    9. Re:Not a linguist, but... by lister+king+of+smeg · · Score: 1

      I know it bothers some people, but I use the singular "they" for a gender neutral third person pronoun. I think once a person gets used to it they will prefer it to "he or she".

      No because 'they' is plural those leading to more ambiguity. If you want a neuter third person use 'It' as it is the neuter second person in English.

      --
      ---Saying gnome 3 is better than windows 8 not so much a compliment as it is damning with light praise.
    10. Re: Not a linguist, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Then go for Finnish!

    11. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Tim+the+Gecko · · Score: 1

      That link doesn't seem to work for me.

      Mignon Fogarty ("Grammar Girl") is in favor of moving to singular "they", and it is perfectly acceptable in British English.

    12. Re:Not a linguist, but... by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 1

      Nope. The characters start with male or female radical, depending on, you know, gender.

      The Chinese third person "ta", is gender neutral when spoken. When written, it can be written in feminine form, but doesn't have to be, even when referring to a female. Chinese names also don't make gender clear. In English, there are a few given names, like "Chris" or "Pat" that are gender neutral, but in Chinese most names are, especially if you only hear them spoken and aren't sure about the characters. When speaking Mandarin, a conversation about a third person can progress for quite a while, until someone asks "Is this person we are talking about a man or a woman?"

    13. Re:Not a linguist, but... by invid · · Score: 1

      No because 'they' is plural those leading to more ambiguity. If you want a neuter third person use 'It' as it is the neuter second person in English.

      Is "you" singular or plural?

      --
      The Moore-Murphy Law: The number of things that will go wrong will double every 2 years.
    14. Re:Not a linguist, but... by i.r.id10t · · Score: 1

      Who cares? Embrace your inner redneck and use y'all and all y'all

      --
      Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos
    15. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Get's used to it? Most people use it without even realizing it, including the idiots who rail against it. Whenever gender is ambiguous or unknown, and you need to quickly formulate an answer or description so that you don't have time to be self-conscious about the construction, using "they" or "they're" comes naturally to most people. Detractors claim that in most of those cases the number is also ambiguous. And that may be, but in a substantial number it's not ambiguous. They're just nit-picking.

      Expanding the usage to be more general, rather than in just a handful of common phrases, just makes sense.

    16. Re:Not a linguist, but... by lister+king+of+smeg · · Score: 1

      No because 'they' is plural those leading to more ambiguity. If you want a neuter third person use 'It' as it is the neuter second person in English.

      Is "you" singular or plural?

      Modern usage 'you' is both singular and plural, but historically 'you' was plural second person and 'thou' was singular second person pronoun.

      --
      ---Saying gnome 3 is better than windows 8 not so much a compliment as it is damning with light praise.
    17. Re:Not a linguist, but... by wonkey_monkey · · Score: 1

      No because 'they' is plural those leading to more ambiguity. If you want a neuter third person use 'It' as it is the neuter second person in English.

      Seems to me that using "it" is going to cause more ambiguity and confusion because people won't be expecting you to use it to refer to a person. And it sounds rude.

      "This/that/the person" seems to work nicely enough, doesn't?

      --
      systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
    18. Re: Not a linguist, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      +1000

    19. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Cheer+Up+Queefy+Jean · · Score: 1

      We should get rid of him, his, and she, and just go with he, her, hers.

    20. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      but in Chinese most names are

      Load o'crap. The Chinese names (as opposed to the surnames, which are, indeed, gender-neutral) are very definitely feminine or masculine. You can't tell them for a while if your Chinese is a second language, learned while you teach English, but spend a few years at the MTC doing just a bit more than the Korean chicks, who waste their parents' money there, and you'll start telling 'em apart easily.

    21. Re:Not a linguist, but... by epyT-R · · Score: 1

      No we don't. What we need is to abolish identity politics and tell the crybabies who bitch over pronoun use to get lives.

    22. Re:Not a linguist, but... by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      English has that. "They". "Where did they go last night?" is ambiguous between plural and singular, both gender neutral.

      Technically "he" is gender neutral, as it is the proper singular form when talking about an unknown-gender person. "What gender is he?" is the proper pronoun for asking the sex of a baby. Though it's not used as much because the gender-neutral pronoun is also the male-gender pronoun. Much like "bark" can mean tree covering or dog sound. But "he" is refused as the proper gender-neutral pronoun because people object to the "unrelated" second definition as non-gender neutral.

    23. Re:Not a linguist, but... by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      "It drove it's car to the store last night, and bought some oranges which it ate on the way home."

      No information is lost with "it" but "they" sounds much better, which is the definition of language, not whether it has the most information.

    24. Re:Not a linguist, but... by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      it is not neuter. It is impersonal. It is used to refer to things that have no gender, not for when there is a gender, but it is unknown. "They" is much more accurate. It confers the personal state, and doesn't lose anything.

    25. Re:Not a linguist, but... by ezakimak · · Score: 1

      Dunno what's wrong with the link.
      The relevant part is:

      ...I often use the apparently plural pronouns "they," "them," and "their" after singular antecedents--such as, "You must approach someone for a job and tell them what you can do." This sounds strange and even wrong to those who know English well. To be sure, we all know there is another pronoun--"you"--that may be either singular or plural, but few of us realize that the pronouns "they," "them," and "their" were also once treated as both plural and singular in the English language. This changed, at a time in English history when agreement in number became more important than agreement as to sexual gender. Today, however, our priorities have shifted once again. Now, the distinguishing of sexual gender is considered by many to be more important than agreement in number.
              The common artifices used for this new priority, such as "s/he," or "he and she," are--to my mind--tortured and inelegant. Casey Miller and Kate Swift, in their classic, "The Handbook of Nonsexist Writing," agree, and argue that it is time to bring back the earlier usage of "they," "them," and "their" as both singular and plural--just as "you" is/are. They further argue that this return to the earlier historical usage has already become quite common out on the street--witness a typical sign by the ocean that reads, "Anyone using this beach after 5 p.m. does so at their own risk....

    26. Re:Not a linguist, but... by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      Actually it is plural.

      The singular form is no longer used and is "thou".

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    27. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Tim+the+Gecko · · Score: 1

      Thanks! I hope this usage comes back in American English.

    28. Re: Not a linguist, but... by Archwyrm · · Score: 1

      Speak for thyself, thou insensitive clod!

      --
      Fascism should more properly be called corporatism because it is the merger of state and corporate power. -- Mussolini
    29. Re:Not a linguist, but... by jmccue · · Score: 1

      Who cares? Embrace your inner redneck and use y'all and all y'all

      or where I live (native English region) we say 'yous' :)

    30. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Livius · · Score: 1

      This seems to be pretty common in spoken English and even informal written English.

    31. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Livius · · Score: 1

      No, 'they' used to be plural but now it's indeterminate. Or plural. Or sometimes singular.

      The point is that singular and plural aren't the only options.

    32. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Actually, Confucius' Chinese didn't employ gender at all, because Confucius was not concerned with females, except occasionally mentioning how stupid, vile and generally unpleasant and harmful to the scholar and the prince they are. The females have their proper place in history and it is to be where they aren't visible.

      Hence, the language isn't 'gender-neutral', but, rather, female-excluding.

      And that's true of all Chinese dialects except where conditioned by the various 'revolutionaries' and 'modernizators' that sprang up in the beginning of the 20th century after translations of Western books became available and the Chinese political thought 'borrowed' its first evolution since Confucius from those. Kinda like today they 'borrow' ideas for scientific publications.

    33. Re:Not a linguist, but... by dave420 · · Score: 1

      Says the white guy.

    34. Re:Not a linguist, but... by Gryle · · Score: 1

      "Says the white guy" is not actually a valid counter-argument. You do realize that, correct?

      --
      Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not entirely sure about the universe - Einstein
  4. Use phonetic spelling by ITRambo · · Score: 2

    That wud B GR8.

    1. Re:Use phonetic spelling by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      Agreed!

    2. Re:Use phonetic spelling by invid · · Score: 1

      I like the flexibility of English spelling. It is actually useful. Since there are many ways to spell the same sounds, you can spell different words that sound the same differently. That way you don't have to rely on contexts exclusively. For instance: "He went to room number five two." vs "He went to room number five too."

      --
      The Moore-Murphy Law: The number of things that will go wrong will double every 2 years.
    3. Re:Use phonetic spelling by Mini-Geek · · Score: 1

      I would argue that the fact that we have homophones in the first place is a bad thing. Ideally: One sound, one spelling, one meaning (except possibly allowing for metaphorical meanings derived from that).

      --
      do {print "Mini-Geek Rules!\n";}
      until ($TheEndOfTheWorld);
    4. Re:Use phonetic spelling by Cro+Magnon · · Score: 1

      Homophones are bad if you're trying to get to the right room (was it five two or five too), but good if you're a smartass, poking fun at linguistic problems and someone else getting lost.

      --
      Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
    5. Re:Use phonetic spelling by invid · · Score: 1

      I would argue that the fact that we have homophones in the first place is a bad thing. Ideally: One sound, one spelling, one meaning (except possibly allowing for metaphorical meanings derived from that).

      You do realize that by doing so you would kill the pun, thus depriving many people of the only humor they understand.

      --
      The Moore-Murphy Law: The number of things that will go wrong will double every 2 years.
    6. Re:Use phonetic spelling by Mini-Geek · · Score: 1

      Judging from some list of 10 puns I found, only about half of puns rely on homophones. Fear not, humor-deprived people of the world, you'll still have your puns! (though more limited)

      --
      do {print "Mini-Geek Rules!\n";}
      until ($TheEndOfTheWorld);
    7. Re:Use phonetic spelling by TeknoHog · · Score: 1

      That wud B GR8.

      I wonder if you're trying to be sarcastic -- spelling out letters like B as 'be' is not exactly phonetic. I once tried explaining to a Briton how Finnish is a phonetic language, and you just read anything by pronouncing each letter as they are, which she mistook as spelling out.

      Of course, while I'm being pedantic, you'd also need a thorn/theta for the 'th' sound...

      --
      Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
    8. Re:Use phonetic spelling by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Cue the first female governor of Texas quote about homophones being an affront to Jesus Christ....

    9. Re:Use phonetic spelling by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      "He went too, room number five too/two" would also work. Jack went to a hematologist also, who is in room 5 [2|as well].

    10. Re:Use phonetic spelling by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      How do you make a tree quiet? You take away it's bark!

      I could make up one for every homophone, but they get worse from there.

  5. Already been done muthafucka. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It's called Ebonics.

  6. See Esperanto by Rinikusu · · Score: 1

    No thanks.

    --
    If you were me, you'd be good lookin'. - six string samurai
  7. Backwards compatibility by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    It would have to be backwards compatible with English. Then you could say that everyone who speaks English is also speaking your constructed language.

    1. Re:Backwards compatibility by pragma_x · · Score: 2

      Then that's technically the existing corpus of law in any English speaking country, today.

      Over time, the legal system has accrued terminology, jargon, and definition as each case has helped clarify or reinforce the written law. So we have things like "malice aforethought" or "work for hire" that have relatively exact meanings when compared with the use of those phrases in passing.

      Yet we know that it's not exact *enough*. It fails as a specification over, and over again.

    2. Re:Backwards compatibility by dakotapearl · · Score: 2

      It's true that compatibility would be a big issue. The only options I see are to either use the English term or make a translation. If you use the English term is a concession that the language isn't adequate. If you make a translation, you have to make sure that the language is at least as comprehensive as the original language. But maybe it's a good opportunity to try to make a language more powerful in it's ability to express things like that.

    3. Re:Backwards compatibility by msauve · · Score: 1

      "It would have to be backwards compatible with English. Then you could say that everyone who speaks English is also speaking your constructed language."

      Atsthay away oodgay ideaway. Itway eemssay ikelay away implesay ingthay otay oday.

      --
      "National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity." - Celine's First Law
    4. Re:Backwards compatibility by mc6809e · · Score: 1

      It would have to be backwards compatible with English. Then you could say that everyone who speaks English is also speaking your constructed language.

      Are we going to call it English++ or English# ?

    5. Re:Backwards compatibility by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      English Prime

    6. Re:Backwards compatibility by stealth_finger · · Score: 1

      It would have to be backwards compatible with English. Then you could say that everyone who speaks English is also speaking your constructed language.

      Are we going to call it English++ or English# ?

      English doublegood

      --
      Wanna buy a shirt?
      https://www.redbubble.com/people/stealthfinger/shop?asc=u
  8. why? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Why bother?

  9. 'Murica, FUCK YEAH! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    speak English, just like Jesus did. /discussion

    1. Re:'Murica, FUCK YEAH! by halivar · · Score: 5, Funny

      As Miriam Ferguson, first female governor of Texas, said, "If the King's English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for the children of Texas!"

    2. Re:'Murica, FUCK YEAH! by johanneswilm · · Score: 1

      As Miriam Ferguson, first female governor of Texas, said, "If the King's English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for the children of Texas!"

      Apparently that is an urban myth. http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/M...

    3. Re:'Murica, FUCK YEAH! by JonWan · · Score: 2

      This is why we now encourage our governers to run for president of the US. It gets them out of the state for a while.

    4. Re:'Murica, FUCK YEAH! by gewalker · · Score: 1

      Of course, it is a funny quote, but it almost certainly never happened.

      Her history is actually kind of interesting. Her husband was previously governor of Texas but was convicted of a number of charges. Despite this, she able to overcome this and win the governorship defeating the Republican opponent in a landslide in the 1924 election.

      Policywise, perhaps the most interesting thing was that she issued thousands of pardons to reduce prison overcrowding. Mostly those convicted for violation of prohibition laws.

    5. Re:'Murica, FUCK YEAH! by westlake · · Score: 1

      As Miriam Ferguson, first female governor of Texas, said, "If the King's English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for the children of Texas!"

      You're joking, of course, but the King James Bible can be read with pleasure after 400 years.

      If you have ever tried to slog your way through one of Project Guttenberg's impenetrable nineteeth century translations of classical works, you how extraordinary an achievement that is.

  10. Bad idea by halivar · · Score: 4, Interesting

    One of the beauties of English is its elasticity. Without a single authority governing its rules, English is truly a democratic, utilitarian language, and it becomes what it needs to be to fit the situation. It's a kludgey, ad hoc mess, yes, and its inconsistencies are truly maddening. And yet when another language needs to borrow a word for a new use, English is ready to provide it. We loot and barter vocabulary easily, stealing words from France and trading them over to China because we don't give two shits about the cultural sanctity of language. We are the Swiss army knife of linguistics.

    To take that away; to smooth out the inconsistencies and impose a logical order on it would be to rob English of its greatest use to other languages; to be the unstable alpha branch, readily accepting commits from whoever ares to contribute, and letting the best features rise to the top for adoption by other, more stable branches.

    1. Re:Bad idea by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      Beautifully put. I love the plentiful etymological history of English and the torture we've imposed on just about every word. I don't think English will ever go away, but perhaps there's an easier way for some people who just want to communicate something exact.

    2. Re:Bad idea by Twinbee · · Score: 1

      What do you think about the advantages of a unified universal language (whether English, Esperanto, Spanish, Korean, or some other language)? Wouldn't that help everyone communicate more easily with each other?

      --
      Why OpalCalc is the best Windows calc
    3. Re:Bad idea by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 3, Interesting

      If you want to be exact, use a dead language. There is a reason why many dead languages are dead, they failed to evolve over time, which makes them suitable for being exacting.

      --
      Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
    4. Re:Bad idea by Mini-Geek · · Score: 1

      ... to be the unstable alpha branch, readily accepting commits from whoever ares to contribute, and letting the best features rise to the top for adoption by other, more stable branches.

      The alpha branch should not be a widely used branch. English is. Something wrong with this picture?

      --
      do {print "Mini-Geek Rules!\n";}
      until ($TheEndOfTheWorld);
    5. Re:Bad idea by Cro+Magnon · · Score: 1

      I'm not sure. It might help prevent a few wars if more people could understand each other. OTOH, it would also probably cause a few wars.

      --
      Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
    6. Re:Bad idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You are talking about words in english, not the language itself. There is no reason a universal artificial language can do the same. The advantages of english are due to the ubiquity of it, not anything inherently superior to the language itself.

    7. Re:Bad idea by gbjbaanb · · Score: 1

      that, and the fact that the people using it got a kicking from some other group. We don't speak much Latin anymore, we speak a bastardised Germanic-y language called English even if we have kept a few words for specialists.

      And I'd say we only speak English nowadays, not because how the sun never once set on a salmon-pink part of the map, but because the Americans chose to speak it. If the USA had chosen German as their national language years ago, perl would probably be quite different!!

      Now that happened, and we add the previous corpus of English-speaking people, I think its reached a critical mass to make it a de-facto standard (like how Windows and not anything really good is our most common OS, or javascript is the only browser-based language worth knowing :-)

      Maybe one day we'll replace it with Marain, but we'll need either a Utopia or Dictator to arrange that for us!

    8. Re:Bad idea by gstoddart · · Score: 1

      Indeed, if it was rigidly defined you couldn't have it evolve the way it has ... the cromulency of new words is not defined in advance, but by how much people feel embiggened by them.

      You would not have vernacular, you would have a boring, lifeless, rigid language ... Latin already did that.

      I agree that some of the greatest weaknesses of English (lack of rigid structure and syntax) are also some of its greatest strengths. Because it's a fluid, evolving language which has plenty of room to be played with.

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    9. Re:Bad idea by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      What do you mean by unified?

    10. Re:Bad idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think it is apparent how helpful this would be. The problem is that language is usually entwined with culture and/or ethnicity. Good luck with getting everyone to learn it.

    11. Re:Bad idea by Cro+Magnon · · Score: 1

      English is the MS Windows of languages?

      --
      Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
    12. Re:Bad idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Marain is a very complex language, it just so happens that it is constructed in a manner that allows the use of subsets of the language for those who have have lesser capabilities than Minds do.

      We could do the same with English by effectively shrinking and simplifying the vocabulary down to words that actually follow a coherent subset of English rules. We lose nuance, but improve simplicity. Someone already posited a language like this. We call it Newspeak.

    13. Re:Bad idea by apraetor · · Score: 1

      “The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.” -- James D. Nichols

    14. Re:Bad idea by Locke2005 · · Score: 1

      We already have a de facto Lingua Franca: Broken English. Prior to that, French and German came close to being "universal" languages. Not sure what the chances are of Mandarin become the Lingua Franca of the future. The problem with languages is, they evolve. Force everyone to use the same language, it would quickly devolve into regional dialects anyway. Eventually you'd get the problem you have with Hindi in India: Everybody speaks it, but the dialects are so diverse that every uses English when they need to converse with someone from a different region.

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    15. Re:Bad idea by tnk1 · · Score: 1

      Well, yes and no.

      English is not an easy language to learn and has a lot of irregular uses, but it is much easier for adult second language learners to learn than say, Chinese.

      It would be difficult to say English is "superior", but it is better than some for certain specific requirements.

      English is also backed up by Latin, which still survives in certain applications and is a complete language with some more regularity.

    16. Re:Bad idea by Parker+Lewis · · Score: 2

      Nice try, but English got widely used after World War II, due the economical influence of USA over the globe. Like all the previous widely used languages. It's all about economics. Not being "that cool".

    17. Re:Bad idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      OTOH, it would also probably cause a few wars.

      when the people of the free world band together to fight the Grammar Nazis?

    18. Re:Bad idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You are making the assumption that all languages accomplish the same thing the same way. To create a unified language that can express everything that every language is capable of, you would have to create a far more complex language than English already is.

    19. Re:Bad idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It already exists, and the planetary language is English, like it or not. Want to be a programmer in nearly any programming language? You must use APIs written in English. Want to read science papers done in UK, USA, etc.? You'll need to know Engilsh or pay an interpreter. Want to communicate with the space station or mission control? English. Randomy pick two bilinguals and they'll probably be able to communicate in Engilsh. There's a reason why so many countries teach Engilsh as a second language, and why native English speakers don't tend to have as many bilinguals: English is the de-facto common language of Earth. First, due to its wide colonization efforts, second thanks to English being firmly planted in technology, third thanks to critical mass.

      We don't have to standardize English to make it a common language, we just have to standardize on English -- a process which is already underway.

    20. Re:Bad idea by gdshaw · · Score: 1

      Now that happened, and we add the previous corpus of English-speaking people, I think its reached a critical mass to make it a de-facto standard (like how Windows and not anything really good is our most common OS

      Er, you do realise that it is several years since Windows was the most common OS (longer if you include embedded systems). It's a great example of the network effect at work, but shows how it can both give and take away.

    21. Re:Bad idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm an ESL teacher, and I printed this post out and tacked it up on our notice board. Preach on, brother.

    22. Re:Bad idea by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      We have it. It's called English. When a Russian businessman goes to China or Korea to do business. Usually, the discussions will be in English. Depending on the level and type, the two sides will greet and depart with phrases from the other's language, but not do the main discussion in either language. Of those who know multiple languages, with at least one non-local, the number one second language is English. I added in qualifiers because Mandarin is a second language to many in China, and Hindi is a second language to many in India. But, when you exclude the local languages from areas with multiple local languages, English becomes the overwhelming winner in the second-language contest.

    23. Re:Bad idea by Alioth · · Score: 1

      And before that due to the British Empire which covered a third of the planet.

    24. Re:Bad idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      More even than that.

      Most people who want to "invent a new language" or reform the old ones, are motivated by impulses like:

      - let's make this language easier to learn;
      - let's make this language symmetrical and regular;
      - let's dispense with all the language artifacts "we" don't like.

      This is a fool's errand because it elevates lesser imperatives above greater ones. While the above goals have some merit, they aren't actually the most important things to optimize for.

      Have you ever noticed how there's always an exact right word for everything? And if English doesn't have it yet we borrow it from another language. This is the imperative of expressivity.

      Have you ever noticed that there are usually several words for the same thing? This adds nuance, character, and variety.

      Have you ever noticed that there are lots of words that sound alike but mean different things (homonyms)? This is a rich source of humour, rhyme, and layered meaning.

      Artists, poets, writers, lyricists, all use the vast range and sublety of language in order to produce better art, better expression, better work. These abilities are much more important than issues like "I before E except after C only works about 70% of the time."

    25. Re:Bad idea by Twinbee · · Score: 1

      It doesn't have to be an amalgamation of existing languages, but yeah, me saying 'unified' may indicate it takes the best elements from each one, which is an interesting idea, but not completely necessary.

      --
      Why OpalCalc is the best Windows calc
    26. Re:Bad idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The reason the human race survived this long is not because we all think alike and speak the same language... It is because we are different, we think and speak differently. Diversity is key to survival. Therefore we shouldn't consider a language to replace any other...

    27. Re:Bad idea by LQ · · Score: 1

      If you want to be exact, use a dead language. There is a reason why many dead languages are dead, they failed to evolve over time, which makes them suitable for being exacting.

      Then you have the problem of neologisms cf Lexicon Recentis Latinitatis

    28. Re:Bad idea by gbjbaanb · · Score: 1

      it was just an example.. its been years since Latin was the most common language too.

    29. Re:Bad idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      OK. But can we please at least kill off the "quotative like"?

  11. Be machine translatable from english by Swistak · · Score: 2

    I think that'd have to be one of the main characteristic. If you could provide a machine translation of english wikipedia into your new language that would preserve the meaning and at the same time would be easier to understand learn and pronounce then that'd be enough reason to learn it.

    1. Re:Be machine translatable from english by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      I really like that idea. Thanks for your input!

    2. Re:Be machine translatable from english by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
  12. profanity by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    One of the major faults of constructed languages in the past, such as Esperanto. has been the lack of profanity. So much of English and a good many other languages include good old fashioned ways of insulting someone else, calling their parentage or intelligence into question or simply questioning whether or not they are smart enough to actually be classed as a thinking being or even human.

    Create anything you like, form and conjugate verbs as regularly as you can, limit sentence structure to extremely simple forms by limiting or eliminating conjunctions as much as you want but the language will be a complete failure if you cannot call someone names in it as easily as you would in your native language.

    verification word: disrupts I like that.

    1. Re:profanity by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I've learned that the harshest swear words in any language are English profanities.

    2. Re:profanity by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > One of the major faults of constructed languages in the past, such as Esperanto. has been the lack of profanity.

      My favorite Esperanto swear word is 'Zamenfek!' :)

    3. Re:profanity by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What about this? http://mindprod.com/esperanto/dirty.html

  13. There are people with free time... by xxxJonBoyxxx · · Score: 0

    There are people with free time...

    >> ...constructing a language capable of replacing English has fascinated me for a long time. I'd like to start a project with some of my own ideas and anyone who's interested... ....and then there are people with SERIOUS free time. My free advice: get a Linguistics degree and/or a girlfriend/boyfriend: itch scratched.

  14. Lolcats by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Lolcat speak will replox English in the next 10 yearz

  15. 1984 or 42 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Double Plus Good. Remove the endless choice of adverbs and adjectives. Or, make it fully accepted English to say "floating in a way that bricks don't".

    1. Re:1984 or 42 by meerling · · Score: 1

      That wasn't so much a new language, as a dialect based on massive simplification of a language.

  16. Wa Da Tah by jmcwork · · Score: 1

    so says Pootie Tang

    1. Re: Wa Da Tah by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sine yo piddy on the runny kine.

      Leepa chai!

    2. Re:Wa Da Tah by turp182 · · Score: 1

      The first 15 minutes of that movie were solid Gold (I loved the belt).

      I don't think the concept was flexible or deep enough for anything over short skits, certainly not a full length movie (A Night at the Roxbury is also in this category).

      I thought Zoolander would also fall into this category and avoided it for a couple of years. But once I saw it and realized the comic genius that it is, it became one of my favorite movies.

      --
      BlameBillCosby.com
  17. Language is not a construction by fustakrakich · · Score: 1

    It's an evolutionary emergence, arising from the muck of screams, grunts and groans.

    --
    “He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”
    1. Re:Language is not a construction by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's an evolutionary emergence, arising from the muck of screams, grunts and groans.

      Oh! So, language is like children.

  18. Ranto by tepples · · Score: 1

    Esperanto is plenty irregular according to Justin B. Rye's "Ranto".

    1. Re:Ranto by gman003 · · Score: 1

      That rant is a pretty fair (if harsh) criticism of Esperanto, but it doesn't really point out any irregularities in Esperanto itself. Many of the flaws it points out are actually cases where the language is too regular, where it mandates something everywhere instead of making it optional where possible.

      The only grammatical irregularity in Esperanto I can think of is how -A affix can be used for female names, instead of the -O used for all other nouns. Other than that, everything is regular and self-consistent.

    2. Re:Ranto by tepples · · Score: 1

      So what are the rules for whether an epenthetic -o- gets placed between elements of a compound?

    3. Re:Ranto by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't think that -a thing is an inconsistency; people's proper names often don't obey a language's rules.

    4. Re:Ranto by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Rye is/was a notorious troll on the soc.culture.esperanto newsgroup.

      The general consensus is that while he has some good points, they are mostly irrelevant to the usability of Esperanto.

      That's probably the chief criticism you see of Esperanto: it's not perfect. People have an expectation that a constructed language should have no flaws, no biases, and be completely consistent in order to succeed. Esperanto has shown that a conlang can be usable without being perfect.

      Of course, many people who notice the flaws in Esperanto immediately think they should be "fixed," and it seems an almost irrepressible itch they have to scratch. 'Riismo' is probably the most popular reform cause, and it hasn't managed to convince everyone, so what hope does your reform idea have?

  19. English, but Better by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just start with English as the base then normalize some of the weirder irregularities, like the seven different pronunciations for 'ough'. No other option has any hope of ever replacing English.

  20. Other considerations? by dbarron · · Score: 1

    Should it be a beautiful language to the ear to hear, but should it also take a long time to say anything worth saying (elvish, entish references)?

    In all seriousness, if it was easy to learn, quick to speak what's on your mind, and also delighted the ear, it might have a good chance of catching on.

    1. Re:Other considerations? by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      Nice, thanks!

  21. Think about the economics of the language by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Currently it takes 14 years of your life to learn English to American standards.
    Elementary, Middle School, High School, some college.

    Id like to see a language that is able to be taught to all students in 6 months to 1 year, instead of the 12-14 years for English.
    That should include written, and Spoken, and Computers / Typing.
    It should be a language that makes you smarter because of how you think when you speak.
    It should be a language that a computer can directly parse and extract the meaning of.
    It should be a language without exceptions to spellings, and pronunciation.

    1. Re:Think about the economics of the language by Locke2005 · · Score: 1

      I've seen Europeans pick it up in less, although they were extremely bright people and were "helped" by having English speakers constantly correct them. In general, if forced to use a specific language for conversation, you should be able to pick it up in about 2 years and be fluent enough in conversational use to be understood. It helps if you already know a language that comes from common roots (e.g. Latin). The biggest problem is moving to a language that contains phonemes your ear isn't trained to hear and you mouth isn't trained to generate.

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    2. Re: Think about the economics of the language by davidwr · · Score: 1

      More like 14 years - most things that are targeted for general adult audiences (other than things written in legalese) is written for an 8th-grade (age 14 or so) reading level.

      --
      Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
  22. Pointless exercise by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Languages are what they are because they are what people need them to be. Any attempt to "create" a language is going to fail. People will learn a language because it is useful to them, not because of how the language is constructed. A language is useful when it allows two people who need to communicate to be able to do so. Historically, this has typically been driven by economic issues (which is why English has become the dominant world language (meaning even if it is not one's first language, it is the most commonly learned second language). A constructed language will simply not be useful to anyone and will therefore most people will not bother to learn it.

    The need for uti8lity is also why every language mutates over time. This is a natural response to a language tuning itself to continue to be useful for communication.

  23. It would need to be compatible with English by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    So something like: English++

  24. Hmmmm... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Perhaps you could make it based on a romance language so it is easier for Westerners to learn (*coughEsperanto*).

    I suggest eiliminating irregular verbs (*coughEsperanto*).

    Perhaps typing words by consistent conjugation instead of arbitrary irregular placement rules (*coughEsperanto*)

    Include as many existing words and word roots as possible that are widely used by many languages (*coughEsperanto*).

    But looking at population alone for deciding what languages to emulate or mirror would be interesting.

    If you were to do this, purely based on number of speakers, it would be a weird hybrid of English, Hindi, Mandarin and Arabic, but that wouldn't flow very well.

    Seeing that Manarin and Hindi both don't translate well to electronic communication (it's hard to type traditional script), and the westernized versions of them are bad approximations of the language. Arabic is ok, but the scripts write right-to-left instead of left-to-right, making it also hard to merge with other scripts, you may just end up with a western (latin) alphabet anyway, perhaps with some additions.

    I do suggest avoiding the hard to pronounce letters such as "L" and "R", as well as consonant blends like "th" and "tr". This is a place where Espepranto might not do as well.

    Interesting, even if there is a bit of "really? why?" to it.

  25. Easy script by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Something that writes well left- and righthanded, like with a fountain pen. Not just block letters, but italics as well. Preferrably no accents as that means lifting the pen.

    Since we're all digital and things, that probably means limiting to basic latin script and arabic numerals. I'd try and make it work without relying on capitals. While something like tengwar looks nice it's not available everywhere. Basic latin script is.

  26. i ran into the same issues... by DarrinJWard · · Score: 1

    when i tried to make chatbutton.com inject viruses into users' computers, i had to write my own language to get around anti-virus products... but it's all working now.

    --
    Please use SEOChat.com and ChatButton.com so i can install viruses on your users' computers
  27. My vote by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I vote for Pig Latin. Kids have no problem understanding and speaking it!

  28. Sound is more important than Syntax and Grammar by dowens81625 · · Score: 1

    Something to consider that would be more important than Syntax and Grammar. How would it sound make it universal and eliminate accents.

    How would be accents speaking this language sound if some one from South Carolina spoke it, vs. New Jersey vs. California vs. Mexico vs. Asia vs. Germany vs. Where ever.

    Lots of places try to teach English and non-English speakers claim to know it, however rarely can you understand them fluently.

    I would recommend a standard rate of speaking with delays after words depending on the type of word, Name, Noun, Verb, Adjective, etc.

    ADJECTIVE + 0.25 seconds
    NOUN + 0.5 seconds
    VERB + 0.75 seconds
    NAME + 1.0 Seconds
    SENTENCE + 2.0 Seconds.

    1. Re:Sound is more important than Syntax and Grammar by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      For someone growing up in Japan for example the difference between a normal length sound and a double length sound is pretty easy to distinguish, but something like that might be a bit harder to teach someone coming from English for example where pauses are anyone's own responsibility.

      My thought on accents was that you'd have to use vowels and consonants that are as distinct as possible for everyone. No difference between l and r for example because of most of Asia, but maybe the Spanish rolled r. The French a e i o u/ou might also work for vowels but you'd have to make a choice between u or ou because English speaker have trouble with that difference for a while too.

    2. Re:Sound is more important than Syntax and Grammar by dowens81625 · · Score: 1

      I agree on the similar sounding letters, D E V T Should all be combined into 1 character.

      Perhaps base it off of Phonics to start with a limited set of distinct sounds different enough from each other that they can not be confused or made to sound different. No Inflections, no double character changes from O = O to OO = U nonsense.

    3. Re:Sound is more important than Syntax and Grammar by Locke2005 · · Score: 1

      Can't be done. Languages evolve over time, and regional dialects will inevitably creep in. Also, people frequently live in proximity to speakers of other languages, and tend to "borrow" words and pronunciation. Most languages are a pidgin of 2 or more languages; even if you created a "pure" language, it would evolve into pidgins over time. For example, I tend to use swear words from non-English languages to avoid offending the naive.

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
  29. Lojban by gregor-e · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Lojban would be a good place to start.

    1. Re:Lojban by naff89 · · Score: 1

      Obligatory:
      https://xkcd.com/191/

    2. Re:Lojban by Qwertie · · Score: 1

      No. Lojban is not designed to be a normal human language. It is intended to be syntactically unambiguous, but it is not designed to be easy to learn, or a substitute for other human languages, or even necessarily compatible with how the human brain works. As far as I've been able to tell, it is mainly an aphrodisiac to help logicians masturbate.

    3. Re:Lojban by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How do you define "easy to learn language for a speaker of an arbitrary language"?

      Being culturally neutral means every person has an equally hard time of learning lojban. Being completely regular means whenever you learn one rule, there are no exceptions to the rule. It is easy to learn a basic few rules and become highly expressive in Lojban.

  30. Klingon by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Already been done: Klingon

  31. Requirements by pragma_x · · Score: 2

    We need more requirements. I'd like to submit the following as a starting point:

    * Must be usable with respect to the correct chronological context. Consider how the first 10 amendments to the US Constitution have been hashed over, in the last 200+ years. We need to be able to reference the exact version of the language, as used, in any legal script. This will keep lawyers from interpreting version 1.0 laws using version 2.0 rules and definitions. Alternatively, the task is monumental: create a language that will stand as valid speech, *forever.*

    * Must be amendable. Amendments to the language must not be permitted to collide with existing definitions. I would go as far as to say that synonyms and homonyms must be strictly prohibited; a side effect here is a relatively pun-free language.

    * The definition of anything must be readily quantifiable, without ambiguity, right down to the planck constant if need be. Recommending the strict use of SI measurements for both space and time.

    * An improved version of these requirements must be penned in version 1.0 of the language, to be followed immediately by version 2.0

    1. Re:Requirements by Sowelu · · Score: 1

      You want a dead language that's also amendable...sounds like you'll need a central authority that decides what concepts are worthy of becoming words, and we all read that book in school. Concepts have emotional baggage, and there's some interesting research showing that words for an apparently identical concept in multiple languages has very different emotions attached to it, and that's probably true across different regional dialects as well.

      Consider the word "marriage", and legal battles all over the place about whether it's defined as one man-one woman or not. Either you can force that precise interpretation on all users of the language, which is only possible if you alter the way people think, or your language is not static and the meaning will shift over time for different people, so...failure.

      I guess it might be possible to version a language, so you can label a document or sentence or a single object as being the 2000-2009 interpretation. That could work for historical legal documents, but for a living language, people aren't going to keep up with new definitions all the time...and again, some people will disagree whether should have a changed meaning or not, so when you're in the pacific northwest when people say "marriage" it's locally assumed they mean the 2010 build, and when people in North Carolina say it, it's locally assumed that they mean the 1980 build. That, and you still have the problem where one central authority defines words. Maybe if you allow language forks that anyone can publish as an authority, as long as they are precisely defined, and all legal documents need to be tagged with what fork and build they're using?

    2. Re:Requirements by westlake · · Score: 1

      Consider how the first 10 amendments to the US Constitution have been hashed over, in the last 200+ years. We need to be able to reference the exact version of the language, as used, in any legal script. This will keep lawyers from interpreting version 1.0 laws using version 2.0 rules and definitions.

      That would be an unmitigated disaster and wholly alien to the Founders' way of thinking. which explicitly rejected trying to impose an 18th century world-view on the future.

      At 340,136 words ...the Constitution of Alabama, adopted in 1901 ... is 12 times longer than the average state constitution, 40 times longer than the U.S. Constitution, and is the longest still-operative constitution anywhere in the world.
      The English version of the Constitution of India, the longest national constitution, is about 117,369 words long, a third of the length of Alabama's.

      Constitution of Alabama

      Efforts to reform the Alabama Constitution lead nowhere.

      The exact meaning of a word or phrase is notoriously elusive --- and never more so when dealing with the words of men who flat-out refused to be pinned down.

    3. Re:Requirements by CAPSLOCK2000 · · Score: 1

      v1.0 That's easy. v1.4 Just prefix every sentence with a version number. v2.4 Software has been doing this for ages. >= v1.7 How hard can it be?

    4. Re:Requirements by AthanasiusKircher · · Score: 1

      We need more requirements. I'd like to submit the following as a starting point:

      I'm assuming you mean this post to be modded funny (i.e., ironic)? Otherwise, I think you're overlooking some major problems in how language actually works.

      * Must be usable with respect to the correct chronological context. Consider how the first 10 amendments to the US Constitution have been hashed over, in the last 200+ years. We need to be able to reference the exact version of the language, as used, in any legal script. This will keep lawyers from interpreting version 1.0 laws using version 2.0 rules and definitions. Alternatively, the task is monumental: create a language that will stand as valid speech, *forever.*

      Exactly how do you define this language other than referencing its own terms? And if you do so, don't you think the lawyers will start arguing over the meanings of the definitions, or the meanings of the definitions of the definitions, or the [insert infinite recursion here].

      For a practical historical example of this process, see Jewish law and rabbinical interpretations of the Torah. There's the original text, and then there are commentaries that explain the text, and then there are commentaries that explain the commentaries. And the process is never-ending.

      And the problem with the Constitution is NOT that we don't know what what the Founding Fathers meant. Sure, there are some places where there's ambiguity or where we could argue about how a particular 18-century principle would apply to a 21st-century context that couldn't exist in the 18th century. But, with a few exceptions, we actually have a pretty good idea of what the terms used in the Bill of Rights meant at the time. If you object to change, the problem isn't the language -- it's our legal system, which draws its authority not only from written law but from court precedent for interpretation. Some parts of the Constitution simply don't mean what they originally did -- not because we lack understanding of what they originally meant but because legal precedents have gradually shifted the meaning. And overturning those precedents would in some cases essentially require trashing a century or more of jurisprudence and all of the precedents built on top of it.

      In sum -- interpretation is always an inexact science. And no matter how exact your laws are, new situations will crop up or social values will change, and interpretations will adapt, no matter how much the language authorities try to crack down on meaning shifts. It's a systemic and social problem, not a purely linguistic one.

      * Must be amendable. Amendments to the language must not be permitted to collide with existing definitions. I would go as far as to say that synonyms and homonyms must be strictly prohibited; a side effect here is a relatively pun-free language.

      Sounds incredibly boring to me. Anyone who reads fiction (let alone poetry) would find this language completely ridiculous and lacking any useful expression. Real people would likely abandon it immediately or at least come up with their own puns or synonyms or whatever.

      * The definition of anything must be readily quantifiable, without ambiguity, right down to the planck constant if need be. Recommending the strict use of SI measurements for both space and time.

      Okay, for a start -- please define a basic common word in your "readily quantifiable, without ambiguity" style.

      For example, please define "chair." I'll even make it simpler and not insist that you define metaphorical uses -- just come up with a "readily quantifiable, without ambiguity" definition that precisely defines the kind of "chair" that people sit in.

      I'll wait.

      And then after you're done, I'll build something that doesn't fit your definition exactly, and I'll sit it in -- and then I'll sell it as a "chair" to people. Guess what? Your precise language is overridde

    5. Re:Requirements by dave420 · · Score: 1

      There are plenty of longer operating constitutions in the world, though those may not be written down in a single document.

    6. Re:Requirements by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "create a language that will stand as valid speech, *forever.*"

      it can be easier than that. what we need is a form of basic language that all legal documents are written in.we can strip out of this basic form all slang and maybe even things like tense.

    7. Re:Requirements by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Main requirement:
      0) Popular

      It's not as if English got its position mainly by its technical merits. Take the spelling vs pronunciation of the first few numbers you learn for instance. Someone might think you're bullshitting them. Yes "wahn" is indeed spelled "one". And tu is two, no it's not pronounced twoh. Enjoy.

      It's like computer languages in the real world. In most cases the number of usable high quality libraries are more important than the merits of the language ;).

      After all, the advantage is not really about the words/code you write/say. It's all the huge amounts of words/code you don't have to write/say.

      Say you create your wonderful perfect language. Guess who's going to write all the books and poetry? Has to be you at first right?

  32. Much of this is already being done by Tony+Isaac · · Score: 4, Informative

    SIL (http://www.sil.org/language-development) is an organization devoted to language development in remote populations with little or no education or language definition. Although they don't create languages entirely from scratch, they do clarify the boundaries of tribal languages, create alphabets for them, and teach them to read. Because of this, many of your questions are well-researched; SIL is considered something of an authority on linguistics around the world.

    1. Re:Much of this is already being done by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      Oh that's really cool. Thank you!

  33. A few by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Phonetic alphabet
    Remove singular/plural distinction irregularities
    Have all verbs follow the same conjugation rules (no irregular verbs, etc)
    Remove unneeded articles
    Keep nouns genderless

    1. Re:A few by jfdavis668 · · Score: 1

      With no accents, tildes, or whatever over the letters.

  34. Vulcan insults by tepples · · Score: 1

    Even in a language without profanity per se, you can resort to Vulcan insults: "child of unwed parents" (bxstxrd), "you ought to be a slave" (nxggxr), "your intellectual disability is slowing the team down" (rxtxrd), "you deserve to be ignored for refusing offers of tutoring in the majority language" (spxc), "your sexuality puts me at risk of disease" (slxt, fxggxt), "your sexuality puts your children at risk of disease" (mxthxrfxckxr) and the like. Or something like "your logic is that of a squirrel crossing a street".

    1. Re:Vulcan insults by Jason+Levine · · Score: 1

      Yiddish has some great curses without resorting to profanity: http://yiddishradioproject.org/exhibits/stutchkoff/curses.php3

      Some of my favorites:

      A young child should be named after him. (Which makes sense if you know that, in Judaism, you don't name after the living.)
      God should bless him with three people: one should grab him, the second should stab him and the third should hide him.
      As many years as he’s walked on his feet, let him walk on his hands, and for the rest of the time he should crawl along on his ass.
      A hundred houses shall he have, in every house a hundred rooms and in every room twenty beds, and a delirious fever should drive him from bed to bed.
      All his teeth should fall out except one to make him suffer.
      God should bestow him with everything his heart desires, but he should be a quadriplegic and not be able to use his tongue.
      He should be transformed into a chandelier, to hang by day and to burn by night.
      He should have Pharaoh’s plagues sprinkled with Job’s scabies.

      You don't need to resort to profanity to curse people out. You just need to get creative.

      --
      My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
    2. Re:Vulcan insults by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I could resort to a lot of verbiage, similes, metaphors and all that other stuff you refer to from other languages, both constructed and natural, but it's easier, shorter and more to the point to just say.

      Balls.

    3. Re:Vulcan insults by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What the... are you 8 years old tepples? Grow a pair and say what you mean or don't say it at all.

      In case you were wondering, the words tepples pussied out on: bastard, nigger, retard, spic, slut, faggot, motherfucker, tepples.

      See? They posted just fine.

  35. Recommended reading by hey! · · Score: 2

    I highly recommend Anita Okrent's In the Land of Invented Languages, which is interesting to a sci-fi fan because it covers not only the obvious cases like Klingon, but serious attempts to create "philosophical" languages which are alluded to in Neal Stephenson's Baroque Cycle.

    It was interesting to me as a long time database and system designer because the seriously undermines the impulse that arises once in every generation of system designers that systems can be integrated "merely" by adopting a common, standardized ontological model.

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  36. Isn't it a bit obvious? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    A: Widely adopted.

  37. Unspell it! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Some dude created a phonetic system of English writing called Unspell. Your new language will need a new writing system, and it would make sense to use one that doesn't have the baggage of being used for other sounds or sound combinations.

  38. english has problems, just use a better language by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    English has inconsistent pronounciations, from foreign words it took on (kids have trouble learning 'spaghetti'), silent letters, and some other weird stuff. But a new human language from scratch? Good luck with that. Noah Webster spent a large part of his life making a dictionary for English around 1800. Making a new language would be a much bigger feat. It would be easiest to just use some other language, maybe Spanish, French, German, Russian, or Japanese with only hiragana and katakana.

  39. Ze drem vil finali kum tru by johnrpenner · · Score: 4, Funny

    The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
    been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
    communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that
    English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
    five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for
    short).

    In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
    Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the
    hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up
    konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
    troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
    "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
    expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
    possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
    which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
    agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
    disgrasful, and they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
    "th" by z" and "w" by " v".

    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
    kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
    kombinations of leters.

    After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
    no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
    ech ozer.

    Den, Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

    1. Re:Ze drem vil finali kum tru by hpa · · Score: 1

      A number of languages have successfully enacted spelling reforms, so this is nowhere as ridiculous as they make it sound. However, the vast spread of English makes it harder.

    2. Re:Ze drem vil finali kum tru by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Since no one else said it - I find this hilarious....

    3. Re:Ze drem vil finali kum tru by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I realize this is a joke, but most of it is actually practical, other than the problems of all the legacy reading material and people being resistant to change.

      1 and 2 and 5 are perfectly logical -- people would get used to the new spelling and pronounciation would be unchanged.

      3. Some double letters should be removed, but some act like the silent e changing the vowel and some produce different sound than the single letter (vowels). For silent E to be removed, we need to add some additional symbols to the language to represent long vowels (accent marks?)

      4. Unlike the previous ones, this does not make sense because it changes the word sounds.

      Other practical changes:
      * G should never make J sound
      * Silent GH should be dropped as it is useless

    4. Re:Ze drem vil finali kum tru by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      brilyint

    5. Re:Ze drem vil finali kum tru by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You blew it with capital D on the last line.

    6. Re:Ze drem vil finali kum tru by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The dream will only really come true after all the spaces are removed. zenitmidasvelbgrman

    7. Re:Ze drem vil finali kum tru by dave420 · · Score: 1

      And the fact there is no entity "in control" of the language means it's practically impossible to enact.

    8. Re:Ze drem vil finali kum tru by Dishwasha · · Score: 1

      This post almost blew my mind as much as the transition from Gaelic to English at the beginning of the 13th Warrior. Your understanding of the differences between English and German is so fantastic that I think the *WHOOSH* sound went above most everybody's head on the joke you set up from the very beginning. You are much appreciated good sir/madam.

  40. This is why they reinvent the wheel by Zontar_Thing_From_Ve · · Score: 5, Insightful

    My thoughts exactly. A human-spoken language designed from scratch to be simple and easy to learn? It's been done, Esperanto. And, since my mother learned it in the '50s, it's been around for a while. How long have UN documents been available in Eperanto? Been there, done that... Why reinvent the wheel?

    I can't say this without sounding like an old man, so you kids stay off my lawn. There.

    One of the problems I see with younger IT people, like presumably the poster who asked about this, is that there are always the following assumptions.
    1) Everybody older than me is an idiot.
    2) I've had some kind of genius insight that nobody before has had, because, well, see #1.

    Perl is just horrifically bad? Then let's invent Python which is just so much better in every way possible. Oh wait. Python sucks bad, so let's invent Ruby. There's probably something out there now that will replace Ruby because Ruby just sucks too. The people like the original poster never ask these kinds of questions:
    1) Has this been tried before and failed for a really good reason? Really good reasons might include it being really difficult to do this, being able to do it but not well, being able to do it well but nobody wants to use it, etc.
    2) If there's been no big push in the past to get this done, is there really some kind of true demand for this?

    I don't go around insulting people who start topics here, but this does seem rather pointless.

    1. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Locke2005 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I started programming in the '80s, when many companies thought it was a good idea to roll their own scripting languages rather than simply extending BASIC or some existing language. (Hint: creating a new language is a LOT more work than you think it is!) Flash forward to 2012, where are VP of engineering decided to have our QA guy create a new language for writing test scripts "Hey, just use Yacc/Bison and lex/flex... how hard could it be?" Surprise, suprise... they never got it working. Just had a conversation with a recruiter Monday, who told me that had a client working on a mesh network. "Which one, Zigbee of Zwave?" I asked. "Neither. They are inventing their own." was his reply. You are correct, NIH (Not Invented Here) syndrome is still running strong in engineering. On the bright side, the majority of new products are now based on Linux, which significantly reduces development time.

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    2. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's not just IT, that's pretty universal. Part of growing up I suppose.

      And Perl does suck, (Unix greybeard here) it's just that most other things suck harder.

    3. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Daniel+Hoffmann · · Score: 1

      Well there are always some people no matter the age that just go for Lisp.

    4. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by DuckDodgers · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I emphatically disagree with your reasoning.

      1. Often times, you can't appreciate the existing solution until after you tried to make something better. An awful lot of the people who love Perl love it even more after they spent some time working with Python, Ruby, PHP, or for that matter Java, C#, or Haskell. If a kid - or an old fogey like us - wants to try to make the next Perl? Go for it.

      2. Some times, you genuinely do make something that's an evolutionary step forward. What if, 30 years ago, people thinking like you convinced Larry Wall that C + sed + awk was good enough? It's rare, but it does happen.

      3. The whole process of trying to understand what came before and trying to do better is an excellent learning method. If I write my own text editor, even if it's awful I'll probably become a better developer.

      Now, basing a business model on trumping what came before is like gambling only more stupid. I wouldn't try to get rich inventing the next Perl, the next Facebook, or the next Docker. But trying to make one for fun.... why not?

    5. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Do you really think you are the first person to have this insight? Don't you think others have tried to address this before and failed?

    6. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by jjn1056 · · Score: 4, Interesting

      "Perl is just horrifically bad? Then let's invent Python "

      Perl was first released in the late 80's and was stable is its version 5 form mostly by 1993-1994. Python was also started in the late 80s. So the languages are from the same time; Python was not built as a reaction to Perl or an attempt to make a better Perl. People tend to think that because Perl had an unnatural popularity surge in the early days of the internet since some of the basic tools for stuff like CGI programming and database interfacing hit Perl very early and everyone just used that. Python caught on in popularity later. So people just assume it came later.

      Ruby you could sorta say that. Its from the mid 1990s and intentionally looked at Perl5 and decided to take a spin on it that was supposed to be more simple. Like they dropped the sigils and make everything an object (probably was looking at a mix of Perl and Smalltalk, which was also popular at the time for a certain group).

      I

      --
      Peace, or Not?
    7. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by phantomfive · · Score: 1

      FWIW I've seen a few custom languages work very successfully. They were special-purpose languages though, not general scripting languages (which I would only write for fun, or if I somehow had an amazing idea for design, which I don't).

      If you have skilled engineers, they can roll their own stuff. If they are skilled, they will also be able to recognize when it is better to use already-built stuff.

      --
      "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
    8. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      For every itch, a scratch. How do you think Perl was invented. It's called progress buddy, you're just set in your ways.

    9. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by HiThere · · Score: 1

      Python and Ruby became popular at essentially the same time, and were focused on different areas. Yes, both are complete languages and *can* do anything any other computable language can do, but the same is true of binary code. (It took awhile for assembler to catch on. Longer for Fortran and Cobol.)

      FWIW, both Ruby and Python are better than Perl WRT intelligibility...but the same is true of APL.

      That said, what a language would need to be to replace English is popular. Nothing else. So Chinese has a good chance, but it's sufficiently difficult to learn (especially to read/write) that the most likely language to supplant English is ... English. That's not quite a paradox, as English comes in multiple flavors, and the dialect that I'm proposing is the one in common use in South-East Asia to talk between people whose native languages are mutually unintelligible. It's a development from Pigin English, but in the direction of being a complete language. (OTOH, I haven't heard that anybody uses it as their first language, so that may knock it out of the running.)

      --

      I think we've pushed this "anyone can grow up to be president" thing too far.
    10. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by realkiwi · · Score: 1

      Can I just add to the list:

      3) If you are from the US learn English first before trying to replace it

      --
      realkiwi
    11. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Python has been around almost as long as Perl, in fact it was around before hardly anyone heard of Perl. Ruby was a few years later in the mid '90s. I actually learned about Python years after knowing Ruby.

    12. Re: This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Had the same argument a few years back with the MDA crowd (model driven architecture). The claim was that any programming language is far too expressive to express the core of a software design, so there has to be a more abstract language: UML models. Just add a few stereotypes and build a code generator, voila any idiot can write aophisticated software at the click of a few mouse buttons. Never could convince them their vision was the equivalent of creating a new programming language with a custom compiler that takes an input construct i.e. "visual" models, and outputs code in another language. Na, they would say, you are making this too complicated, it is just a simple code generator, no need to build a new language. Needless to say, it all failed, or should I rather say it died out. In one system they used this concept heavily, I hear they have now a maintenance problem because obviously the guy who knew the "simple" generator has long moved on.... at least the generated code is maintainable like nothing before it (i.e. it is a pile of crap)

    13. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by jareth-0205 · · Score: 1

      Yes and no. The 'new' generation (for any given time) is never as clever or inventive as they think they are, but they generally *are* a little bit inventive and have some level of new perspective to bring. Maybe believing that you're God's gift to knowledge is the fiction we need for progress...

    14. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Thomas+Miconi · · Score: 1

      Esperanto has the drawback of being a European language. Its grammar and vocabulary are overwhelmingly inspired by European languages, especially Romance languages. That's why your typical Frenchman or Spaniard can more or less decipher Esperanto, and so can highly literate English speakers (because the more complex English vocabulary is often Latin-based).

      Sure, replacing English with Esperanto would be super-cool for French or Italian speakers. But why would a Chinese or Vietnamese speaker promote Esperanto rather than just learning English? To them, it's just a different form of Euro-speak, minus the enormous existing corpus (both technical and artistic) of English.

      To have a snowball's chance in Hell of displacing English, a constructed language would need to be roughly neutral towards all people, or at least between Europe and, say, China. I know of no proposal that fits this criterion without being klunky, unnatural and just plain butt-ugly.

    15. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by NostalgiaForInfinity · · Score: 1

      Your assumptions are bullshit and hence your conclusions are bullshit too. For example, Python wasn't invented to replace Perl, and Ruby wasn't invented to replace Python. The people coming up with those languages had good reasons for doing so and they did ask the questions you mention, plus lots more. And the reason why half-wits like you know about any of those languages is not because "people invented them", but because there actually was "true demand" for all of them: they ended up with millions of users.

      Free software operates like a free market: people come up with stuff they believe is needed, and if they were right, it succeeds. Perl, Python, and Ruby all ended up being successful, so they actually were needed. But even the many languages that failed, people generally believed they had good reasons for coming up with them, that's why they took the risks and made the investments to try to make their visions a reality. And they don't deserve your Monday morning quarterbacking.

    16. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Python was practically rewritten with the new version released in 2000, and that is when it started to gain popularity. Perl stayed practically unchanged from 1983, and while it was a tremendous achievement, it is dated and not usable medium and large projects.

    17. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ruby was in a way an attempt to do Python, but more "OO clean" [0].

      In light of Python's state at the time it might have made sense (I would not know since it was a decade or so before I touched Python), but today the differences seem really petty and superficial (like using a object.length method directly in Ruby instead of the function call len(object) in Python, which in fact looks at the implementation of the __len__ method of the object). I see no real redeeming quality in Ruby that is not present in Python, except for when a certain library exists for one but not the other.

      [0]: The Ruby Language FAQ (see section 1.4)

    18. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      1) Everybody older than me is an idiot.

      1) Everybody other than me is an idiot.

      There, now the list is complete and accurate.

    19. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Python was not built as a reaction to Perl" - agreed, but by the time Python 1 was released in 1994, its raison d'etre was to be a perl replacement. GVR threw a lot of shade on Perl, and the whole "batteries included" mindset is probably why packaging in Python sucked for so long.

    20. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by sfsp · · Score: 1

      No doubt that is why some of the most active Esperanto organizations in the world are in China, Korea, and Japan.

      Bonan tagon!

    21. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Facebook was a me-too product. The iPod was a me-too product. The iPhone was a me-too product. Shall I continue?

    22. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by DuckDodgers · · Score: 1

      But they improved on the original. Are you really calling Facebook, iPod, and iPhone market failures?

    23. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Your point is a good one but you've backed it up with terrible examples.

    24. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm not an Anonymous Coward - honest.

      I see Esperanto as a remarkable success story by far the most successful auxiliary language. It has survived wars and revolutions and economic crises and continues to attract people to learn and speak it. Esperanto works. I’ve used it in about seventeen countries over recent years. I recommend it to anyone, as a way of making friendly local contacts in other countries.

      Not many people know that Esperanto has native speakers too. See:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzDS2WyemBI It was never planned that way, but it happened, and I have met about a dozen native speakers over the years.

    25. Re:This is why they reinvent the wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Often times, you can't appreciate the existing solution until after you tried to make something better.

      Often times, you can hate the existing solution until even more after you tried to use it for some time.

  41. Pictorial by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I'm interested to know what code looks like in pictorial languages like chinese. I have always held that encapsulating a word in a character to be highly efficient.

  42. English is a class system by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Usually you can determine an individual's social class status by their mastery of English.

  43. One Word by meerling · · Score: 1

    Popular.

    Ok, there are a lot of synthetic or constructed languages. Many people here have already pointed out Esperanto.
    Too bad there are significantly more people that speak Klingon than Esperanto. Esperanto is a failure.

    What would it take other than being popular? Making it common, useful, or even important. Require it to be taught for school children and free classes available for adults. Then make things people want or need only available in that language. Some options include government services, others might be 2/3s of a media stations programming, get creative. Preferably, do it in many countries, especially 1st world nations, at the same time.
    Would people rebel against that? Oh hell yes! Just look at metrics in the US. Most people still have no freaking clue how many centimeters are in a meter (here's a hint, the metric system is based on 10s, with decimeter being between centimeter and meter) and they were teaching that thing to school kids since the 60s that I know of! Most of the world, and all of the other 1st world nations, have already officially switched to metrics, even the UK. In fact most sources are only listing 3 countries that haven't officially switched yet.
    To put some perspective on that, the metric system is reported to have been created in 1799... That's around TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN YEARS! And that's only a measuring system, not something even vaguely as significant and large as a language.

    So yes, the only way to get a new language adopted is either find some way to make it so totally popular everyone wants to know it so bad they'd skip their own birthdays and sex to take even one class. Or to force everyone to learn and use it while giving it some modicum of popularity and usefulness.

    So anyhow, good bloody luck with that.

    1. Re:One Word by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > Too bad there are significantly more people that speak Klingon than Esperanto. Esperanto is a failure.

      I find that VERY hard to believe. Maybe in the USA, but worldwide there are at least 500,000 fluent Esperanto speakers and maybe 2-3 million who are somewhat familiar with it.

      I'd be surprised if you can find more than 5000 people in the world who speak Klingon fluently enough to converse for more than 5 minutes.

  44. Standards by jfdavis668 · · Score: 2, Insightful
  45. That's a feature by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    The fucked-up-ness of English makes easy to absorb other languages and overcome them. Sort of like US foreign policy.

  46. What? by gstoddart · · Score: 1

    More specifically: How could the language be made as easy as possible to learn coming from any linguistic background? How could interest in the language be fostered in as many people as possible?

    So, I've known a few people who were learning Esperanto on this premise ... but, seriously, who the hell do you think is interested in replacing the English language? Do you think Esperanto has stormed the world yet?

    Humans don't have a whole lot of interest in swapping out their language with some constructed thing because someone on the internet thinks it's a cool idea.

    Like it or not, languages evolve over time, and aren't something you just whip up and design and expect people to use them.

    Honestly, if you like the idea of this, have fun with it. But you might as well try to teach Klingon to yak herders for all the actual results you'll get out of it.

    On behalf of native speakers of English, we don't want a replacement.

    With all of its warts, borrowed syntax, and aggregation from half a dozen other languages which creates even more exceptions and borrowed syntax which can't be explained to non-native speakers -- English is a workable, expressive, and useful language.

    What you're proposing is a kinda neat thing in an abstract, nerdy, and not very useful sense of the words. But outside of you and your BFF talking in secret code at the local pub and looking like smug wankers ... nobody else will give a damn.

    --
    Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    1. Re:What? by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      The title wasn't long enough. I really want to say ...to replace English as the lingua franca
      I probably should have tried harder to make that fit

    2. Re:What? by gstoddart · · Score: 1

      English is the lingua franca because it already exists, has a lot of inertia behind it, and due to historical quirks of how it spread around the world.

      I rank your chances of making up a new language, trying to convince people to use it, and actually getting anywhere with that as essentially zero.

      People in general aren't interested in new made up languages.

      If you construct a new language with strict rules and elegant syntax ... nobody will give a crap.

      You will end up with a purely academic exercise of how you make up a language ... and you'll probably end up with a language which is very antiseptic, formalized, and boring as hell. And quite possibly woefully incomplete and highly constrained. How do you define in advance things like nuance and double entendres?

      There's simply no motivation for anybody to be interested in your new language, because nobody else knows it, and it serves no actual pressing need.

      Human languages are not a construct you sit down and write the rules for and expect people to use. They're much more organic than that.

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    3. Re:What? by Yaztromo · · Score: 1

      So, I've known a few people who were learning Esperanto on this premise ... but, seriously, who the hell do you think is interested in replacing the English language? Do you think Esperanto has stormed the world yet?

      Let's face it -- the very vast majority of people on this planet really aren't all that interested in learning any language other than the one they were brought up with.

      Esperanto suffers from the same challenge every other language in the world suffers from: the need to memorize a massive vocabulary to be proficient. There really isn't any way around it either -- as humans, we like to categorize and name things, and there is no naming of anything that can be considered universal.

      This is what has always tripped me up in the world of spoken languages. While I have some proficiency in four languages, I've always been hampered by the need to memorize the words themselves for all but the language I was raised in (English). Esperanto was my third language, and while the grammatical rules are easy, and the language encoding of grammar makes many things very obvious, you still have to memorize the vocabulary. Rote memorization unfortunately isn't my forte, and the vocabulary size need to be useful in a language is always my stalling point.

      Yaz

    4. Re:What? by AK+Marc · · Score: 1
      Esparanto was pushed by people who wanted an English replacement. The stated goal was a neutral international language. But the actual goal was to get an international language France didn't whine about daily.

      exceptions and borrowed syntax which can't be explained to non-native speakers

      I am outside the US. I work for a company with more foriegn-born people than locals. The exclusive language in the workplace is English. There are a few that consider themselves learners. Sadly, some of the worst at English claim expertise. But I'm helping one of the guys that wants to learn better English. He's never come up with a question I couldn't easily answer. I've looked up "official" answers to help him, but I've never had to consult one to answer a question. The syntax is easily explained to non-native speakers, even if it's inconsistent and confusing. My favorite is http://grammarist.com/usage/hi... the rule is clear, consistent, and optional. Though, my answer if he were to ask for the proper plural of "hippopotamus" would be "hippos".

  47. Leave It by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just call English "Basic" and have done with it. Someone posted a very good reason that English is sort of the defacto default language. Of course I am biased not wanting or really caring to learn a new one.

  48. why ask us? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This sounds like something you (the poster) are personally passionate about and wish to do. It is often thought that a good project has many voices and this creates a soup from which the best rise, this is not the case and it can injure a project by dimming the will power necessary to see such a task to completion. You are the one passionate, I would suggest that you cease requesting guidance from people who are not specialists or even necessarily interested. I would advise that you follow your path, create, and like that stupid movie if you build it they will come (its true, people build stuff, some sucks some doesn't, but not as many build as you imagine so it has a fantastic chance of living on).

  49. Ambiguous question: But let's assume written only by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Do you mean from start to finish: Esperanto is a constructed language through-and-through, but it's not suitable as a replacement for English. Simplified Chinese is a written language that's constructed (to some degree), but again it's not a suitable replacement for English.

    But let's assume OP meant written: Consistence phonics & spelling using the existing English spoken would be a fantastic start. My spelling is extremely good, but having to teach my kids shows me just how awful our spelling rules are compared to, say, Spanish.

    Some samplings:
    Gnarl
    Knife
    Right vs. Laugh
    Read (past tense) vs. Read (present tense)
    Placate vs. Plastic

    Non-native speakers have, I'm sure, have a more comprehensive list of awful words.

  50. English++ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What it would take to replace English is for a language to be more widely used than English. Language adoption isn't about ease of use - it's about use of use (sic). Language is about communication, and if you can't use it to communicate, it's worthless. So as long as your conlang is only ever used by several dozen people - or even several thousand but just when they're at the language con - you're never going to get anywhere. Usage drives usage. People speak English because there are English-speaking people to talk to, and English language films/books/music to watch/read/listen to.

    At this point, English has pretty much won the lingua franca war, mainly because it was the language you used either to talk to your British conquerors, to speak with your American/English international bankers, to watch American movies, or to read up on American technical developments. You're not going to overcome that with some rinky-dink conlang, no matter what the technical superiority.

    You see this in the programming language field as well. It really doesn't matter that Scheme or Haskell or Erlang or Modula or (insert programming language darling of the month here) has definite technical superiority over C. C, that ugly bastard child of assembly, has *huge* institutional inertia. A large number of programs are written in C because everyone uses it, because a large number of programs have already been written in C, because everyone else uses it .... all because C happened to be the programming language of Unix, and it was Unix which took off.

    The only thing that really has challenged C has been C++, and that's in large part because it tried really hard to be "C, but with classes". Everyone who knew C was able to program in C++ after they learned some of the quirky new rules that C++ introduced. (Even the other programming languages which have become substantial are in large part "C/C++, but with these differences".)

    So that's my recommendation. If adoption is your primary goal, don't attempt to create a completely new language. Instead, try your hand at creating English++ or rather "English with(out) X", where X is what you feel is important in a conlang. Certainly look to other languages as inspiration as to features, but you probably want to base it primarily off of English.

    Some strengths of English is probably the relative simplicity of the grammer. English has dispensed with much of the grammatical genders, conjugation, declension, etc. that many of the other languages have. It still has others (e.g. singular/plural agreement), and there are still some hangers-on (e.g. who/whom, irregular verbs) so you'll have to decide if you want to regularize those, or if you want to "bring back" certain features. There are a number of situations where the English phrasing is ambiguous, but grammatical constructs other languages require make it unambiguous (e.g. "you" can be both singular and plural).

    My suggested course of action? Figure out what you think is important in a language, draw up the rules to "correct" English, and then "translate" various works into your new dialect of English. Once you have things working to your satisfaction, you can go about recruiting your army and navy.

  51. Good luck with that by Ecuador · · Score: 1

    I mean, for centuries there has been a movement to reform the spelling of English itself, to make it sort of consistent and thus easier to learn. Even though the movement was backed by important people and it was certainly not nearly a "departure" as a whole new language would be, it never gained any traction.
    So, even forgetting about the unfeasibility and just starting to tackle your questions we do come to some moot points. E.g. "what characteristics would a new language need?" The main one is usefulness - what you will gain by learning it. So, a brand new language is the least useful. Then, other questions like "How could the language be made as easy as possible to learn coming from any linguistic background?" have no real answer, unless you optimize at least for some linguistic background. Do you want to make it a bit easier to East Asians, or you'd rather aim westerners better?

    --
    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Polar Scope Align for iOS
    1. Re:Good luck with that by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "How could the language be made as easy as possible to learn coming from any linguistic background?"

      I think making it simple to learn is at odds with making it useful. We use language to communicate complex concepts. Does saying I am "double plus mad" communicate the same concept as angry, irate, furious, or annoyed?

    2. Re:Good luck with that by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well Mr Webster certainly managed to screw up the language to a large extent by "reforming" the spelling of a subset of the native speakers and thus causing endless grief.
      Just look how my browser underlines colour instead of his favourite color. Oh, look it underlined favourite too.

  52. Replace English with English! by gestalt_n_pepper · · Score: 2

    But spelled phonetically (funetikle?) and restricted to a basic vocabulary of 1000 or 2000 of the most frequently used words. Probably more than enough. More complex thoughts could be constructed out of those components.

    --
    Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
    1. Re:Replace English with English! by Dwedit · · Score: 2

      Sounds doubleplusgood to me.

    2. Re:Replace English with English! by gestalt_n_pepper · · Score: 1

      You're dang tootin!

      --
      Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
    3. Re:Replace English with English! by ZigMonty · · Score: 1

      The core problem with spelling english phonetically is that english has multiple dialects and we all pronounce the same words differently. What is phonetic for one accent is not phonetic for all the others. And before you say "screw you, only America matters", the same holds *within* the US.

  53. Stop Now by melchoir55 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    TL;DR: Attempting to artificially create a human language is a complete waste of time. It's almost as wasteful as learning a natural human language you will never actually use practically.

    The ops question stems from a deep misunderstanding of what human language is. Humans use language to communicate meaning. The important part here is the meaning, not the language. Language itself is practically arbitrary. Sure, there are similarities across human languages. Like, the English R sound is pretty uncommon and comes late in language acquisition. This doesn't mean that English is "hard". English isn't hard. Neither is Chinese, nor is French, nor vietnemese, nor any other natural human languages.

    Different languages do not take different lengths of time to learn. Native language acquisition occurs at approximately the same rate overall across languages. Different people acquire language at different rates, but there are clear statistical trends, and there tend to be only a few commonly used learning strategies for any given problem in language space (like making the English R sound). You might think certain languages are harder to learn because they are harder for YOU to learn, but this isn't the case. Secondary language acquistion occurs as a bootstraping on an existing scaffold (your native language). That means the base language significantly affects the ease at which a secondary language will be acquired.

    Language is organic. People creatively use language in order to communicate meaning, as we said above. There isn't actually a thing called "English". There is a group of people who understand each other. They play a language game, but they don't all do it the same way. You've heard of something called "dialects"? It turns out that people who can understand each other don't necessarily always play by the same rules. Rules vary, and that varience tends to corrolate with geographic distance. Now, even though they vary, people tend to still understand one another pretty well across dialects. You get to the point eventually where people no longer understand one another, even though the languages are still recently historically related (Spanish and French). At this point, we say they speak different languages. The point of this "language is organic" line is that language CHANGES. Sometimes it changes slowly, sometimes it changes rapidly. It is an absolutely critical feature of language that it can change.

    Humans adapt language to serve their needs. It evolves over time, morphing into mutually unintelligible versions of itself across speakers. Now, language change does work acording to some rules. There are syntax and grammar features which human brains appear reluctant to violate, and there are common strategies which are usually followed (though there are exceptions to pretty much anything). What does language change mean? It means that if you go designing a language(an artificial language), your carefully designed language will change into something else over time (a natural human language), People will change the rules you have prescribed to suit their needs. They will invent new words. They will stop using old words and use different ones, sometimes for reasons as trivial as that they like the way the new ones sound. They will alter syntax creatively in order to express themselves, but insodoing they will make those changes acceptable over time. What, then, is the point of designing an artifical language if it is desitined to quickly change into something essentially identical than what you started out with?

    The only artificial languages which persist are computer languages. They persist only because a computer is very unlike a human in that it will not attempt to parse your expression for layers of meaning. Computers demand all expressions have only one possible interpretation. This is vastly different than human language processing. If you would like an example of the utter failure of humans attempting to create artificial languages then go look up Esperanto.

    IAAL and IAAPoL (I am a linguist and a philosopher of language)

    1. Re:Stop Now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I disagree. I created a rudimentary artificial language in High School, and while it had little to no practical use (aside from talking about girls with my friends so nobody else would understand), it taught me how language works, what some of the limitations are, the trade-offs between clarity and terseness. the exercise taught me about what sounds are "easy" and "hard" to put together.
      it taught me a ton about linguistics. In fact, I learned more linguistics in that year of creating an artificial language on my own, than I did in any half-dozen linguistics courses.

    2. Re:Stop Now by nuckfuts · · Score: 1

      I wish I had mod points today, because you nailed this. Well said!

    3. Re:Stop Now by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      The title wasn't long enough. I really want to say ...to replace English as the lingua franca. I definitely should have tried harder to make that fit. But regardless I think a lot of your arguments still hold. I would be interested in your take on that question as well if you feel like responding.

      I'm well aware that the idea is naive and next to impossible, but it doesn't stop me from wondering. I'm not a linguist or a philosopher of language, and yes I am a programmer and a mathematician by training. So I do look the structure of language in a more rigid way. Do you see there being a way to define a language to resist or to bend to change in a more sustainable way given the force of human desire to change and play with their modes of communication?

    4. Re:Stop Now by dargaud · · Score: 1

      TL;DR: Attempting to artificially create a human language is a complete waste of time.

      Right on the money. The only artificial language I did find interesting is one whose premise that you could use any word that exists in at least 4 European languages. I think it was Interlingua, but I can't find its specs right now. I did find it very easy to read. But then a chinese or bantu wouldn't understand a word anyway, so why bother ?

      --
      Non-Linux Penguins ?
    5. Re:Stop Now by steelfood · · Score: 1

      Thank you.

      We here at slashdot, being technologically oriented, tend to forget that humans are not computers and don't act in the way that computers might act.

      It's a matter of organic vs mechanical, and so many people mistake one for the other, or fail to differentiate between the two, or try to "bridge" the two together, usually with disastrous results (see C++14 and Esperanto).

      --
      "If a nation expects to be ignorant and free in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be."
    6. Re:Stop Now by argStyopa · · Score: 2

      "The ops question stems from a deep misunderstanding of what human language is."
      Perhaps.

      Personally, what I read in the OP was a very slashdottian, 'utilitarian' approach to the use of language, thinking that it was simply a tool somehow chosen for use based on need/function, like a computer language. He/she didn't seem to recognize it as an organic, dynamic thing by which our brains (involuntarily and uncontrollably, in most cases) understand the world and communicate this understanding to others.

      --
      -Styopa
    7. Re:Stop Now by realkiwi · · Score: 1

      You rock sir! If I may say so

      --
      realkiwi
    8. Re:Stop Now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Interesting. I've been under the impression that a lot of the changes to languages (other than inventing new concepts) have been in order to erect barriers. Slang is often used to divide one group from other groups that aren't tight with the latest phrases.

    9. Re:Stop Now by Kjella · · Score: 1

      Texting and it's roots in IRC talk like LOL, BRB and emoticons has greatly influenced informal communication, but if want to write a paper formal English hasn't changed nearly as much and that's without a governing body. My native language has been formally regulated for 100+ years, meaning there's a formal guide to what words and grammar are "correct" and that schools formally and universities, public institutions and many other informally defer to as correct Norwegian. It has been revised three times since WWII (1959, 1981, 2005) though the revisions of course incorporate and adapt to how people use it I still think it's fairly possible to have strong control over an artificial language.

      What will kill any "simple" universal language is the verbosity, we say "I'm in" instead of "I agree to your proposal" even though it is grammatically gibberish, in what? And "I am" describes a state you're in, not a change of state like making a decision but it's effective assuming your counterpart also understands you. I believe some have worked on such a form of "intermediate language" as the basis of universal translators where everything is rigorously defined and only the mappings to human languages are ambiguous, but it's not a language anyone would speak.

      And what we need changes over time, 150 years ago nobody knew a "car" so if we optimized for the 1800s there'd be nothing shorter than automobile free. Other words go out of need, when did you last use a quill? Today we'd happily relinquish it to be called a featherpen and leave the shorter word for something useful. Or the way people in Africa don't need many words for snow and ice, which obviously take up short combos in English. Which is also why we "steal" words like gay or tweet, that used to have entirely different meanings - it's not like homosexual has ceased to exist but it's way too many syllables for everyday use.

      That's also why we need different layers of terminology, a doctor might talk to a three year old about how his tummy hurts, he might talk to you about how you have an ulcer and he might talk to another doctor about a venticular inflammation of the gasteroperiax interor or some other semi-Latin gibberish. We have different needs and a universal language often acts like there's one way we could speak to each other when that's clearly not the case no matter what language we speak in now. And it's probably more important that the doctors are able to quickly and exactly pass information between them than whether it's understandable for everyone else. Same with game developers talking about voxels and tesselation and so on, after all we are mostly not talking to people totally ignorant of the subject and we adapt.

      --
      Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
    10. Re:Stop Now by melchoir55 · · Score: 1

      I'm a software developer by trade now, myself. If you would call a CTO that. Humanities doesn't pay well. So I understand the value you see in making expressions elegent, encoding best practices in the language itself, and etc. That being said, I think we can make a stronger assertion than "next to impossible" with regard to replacing English with an artificial language. I am willing to assert that it is literally, mathematically, impossible to replace English with an artificial language. If you succeeded, it would mean that the speakers aren't what we think of as humans. I'm not saying that human cognitive processing can't change alot in a trans-humanist kind of way to make this possible someday. However, the lifeform wouldn't be recognizable to humans today as a human.

      Like I said in my first post, the structure and form of the language is arbitrary. Nearly irrelevant. Humans don't necessarily even need speech sounds. They use writing (like we are). Orthographies tend to be based on spoken languages, but this is because it is easier to bootstrap in a learning sense, not because it has to be that way. Sign languages, for example, don't use sound. They use symbols represented with hands instead. My point here is that the language itself doesn't matter. We would be gaining nothing by making an artificial language (especially since it would change instantly into a natural language as soon as people start using it).

      Languages become more static when the human environment is static. They become more dynamic when the environment does. Language change is mostly a pragmatic event (though changes due to the accumulation of minor copy inconsistencies do become significant over time, especially in speech sounds). Humans mostly don't simply want to play around with their language for fun, though they do that too. Even if you managed to create a language which an individual human is capable of internalizing that was of such complexity it could express all possible expressions (I believe this not to be possible), some humans would change it for reasons not related to the need to convey raw data. They would change it to show their class. Or they would change it to express group identity. Or they would change it because they are rebellious and want to change anything they see as commonly accepted just for the sake of it. The list goes on.

      I have expressed and implied a ton of stuff in these posts. The most important take-aways related to your questions are:
      - Making an artificial language serves no purpose. It will not be easier to learn for all humans, it will not be better at conveying meaning, it will not contribute to humanity in any useful way
      - Making a language resist change is impossble. But, even if it were possible, it would be pointless. The fact that language changes is not a weakness of language. It is a critical strength. Think of language like an organism. An organism which cannot adapt will become extinct, eventually.

    11. Re:Stop Now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Fellow linguist responding here. The reason why no IAL (international auxiliary language -- a language constructed to be as easy for someone to learn as a L2 [second language]) has caught on is because of social linguistics. Simple: There is not the prestige in speaking Esperanto that there is in speaking English. For a language to catch on has nothing to do with how hard it is to learn as a L2, and everything to do with the perceived value of learning the language.

      I think Esperanto was a good idea. It was developed before Chomsky linguistics, so it has a number of serious design flaws, and there have been a number of post-Esperanto and even post-Chomsky attempts to create a viable IAL, but they all suffer from not having Esperanto's novelty. There's a reason the Esperanto Wikipedia has more articles than the Wiki for any other constructed language. Esperanto has one positive trait that many pidgin languages do not have: It does not significantly alter when creolized (Linguistic term: creolization is when a constructed or pidgin language is learned by little children, who then alter the language when making it a native language)

      As a former professional ESL teacher, I have seen people struggle with learning English. The immigrant family who is teaching my child a foreign language has a child who wishes to academically excel but is hampered because they were not exposed to more written English as a kid; we linguistics concentrate so much on spoken language that we often times forget the struggles of learning the written form of a language, a skill immigrants need.

      Sure, English can be learned as easily as any other language by a child, but stating that fact ignores those put in the position of learning English as an adult, or those who did not learn written English as a small child. If the dominant language for international communication were an IAL (which would require giving said IAL a lot of prestige and linguistic capital, something that may be impossible to do), a lot of the struggles of immigrants and people trying to perform international business would be eliminated.

    12. Re:Stop Now by Livius · · Score: 1

      It depends what you mean by replacing English. There's a big difference between everyone who speaks English abandoning it, and a new language dislocating the use of English as the default medium of communication between non English speakers.

      Esperanto, for example, was never intended to replace people's maternal language, only second languages.

    13. Re:Stop Now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Reading your post it strikes me that the primary value of English 'grammar' (ha ha) is that it is useful for helping English speakers learn other languages.

    14. Re:Stop Now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Two comments:

      1. The fact that anyone can become a native speaker in an equal amount of time does not prove that all languages are equally difficult. A better question is "how difficult is this language to learn as your second language?" And there are clear differences there. Compare Cantonese and Spanish for example.

      2. Not all writing systems are equally easy to learn. I think Japanese is easier to learn than Korean. But Japanese reading and writing is an order of magnitude harder than learning Hangul.

    15. Re:Stop Now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How is Esperanto an "utter failure"? It works, and many people use it. Unless you're defining a language as an "utter failure" if it isn't spoken by zillions of people, in which case most languages are "utter failures", which would probably come as a surprise to their speakers.

    16. Re:Stop Now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "They persist only because a computer is very unlike a human in that it will not attempt to parse your expression for layers of meaning. Computers demand all expressions have only one possible interpretation."

      As someone who has recently been attempting to write C++ code that runs identically on both g++ and Visual C++, on Windows and Linux, , I think that you are unfortunately quite incorrect on this point. :-(

    17. Re:Stop Now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Thanks Mr. Professor, but I've done both these things —learning bits of languages that I will most likely never user practically, and creating the rudiments of a fictional language—, and thoroughly enjoyed both.

      For the first there can easily be actual benefits; genereally speaking learning any language opens your mind to different ways of organizing words, meanings and thoughts, and even more so if the language is genetically far removed from the ones you already know. Plus you can never know for sure you will never come across an occasion where to use it directly, or where it helps you make sense of something written in another language related to it.

      As for constructed languages, they make a pretty fascinating field in an of themselves; just from the tradition of philosophical languages you can learn a lot about how people thought about language, clarity, ontology and thought itself at different times. And there's something inspiring even in the failed attempts for "scientific" conlangs like Esperanto and its ilk to take the world.

      The main things I'd advise to anyone thinking of working on a conlang at this point are:

      1. It's not the early 20th century anymore. Don't pretend you're going to make the "universal world language" of the future; that ship sailed long ago. Same goes for "rationalizing human thought" and the like. Recognize your hobby for the purely artistic / creative endevour that it is.

      2. Which also means that you gain a huge lot of freedom to choose your goals for the language, which don't necessarily have to be realistic, practical or serious. World reform is as boring as it gets; instead you get to have as much fun as you want!

      3. Join the conlang community on the net. All sorts of things have already been attempted, you'll probably enjoy reading about them too.

    18. Re:Stop Now by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      Exactly, it was never my intention to replace English as in make every English speaker convert to a new langauge. It's the one thing that I really needed to say in the question that I didn't. Maybe that's a reason that I shouldn't be making a language :P

      What I want is an intermediary. A language that can be rapidly learned and is highly expressive such that people with very different maternal languages can communicate with precision.

      If it were done correctly (For a given definition of correctly. For me I'd say, if it works it's done correctly, but that's not really a useful definition) does anyone think that there is a need for a such a thing? Me I would argue that given the difficulty of learning English with a non-Latin-based background in languages, it could be useful.

      The trick would be to make something that is actually easier for everyone and is at the same time still easy to learn and is in some regard complete with regards to expression

    19. Re:Stop Now by melchoir55 · · Score: 1

      I understood the intention was not to replace English, but to create another viable secondary language. Nonetheless, there is no value in doing this. Whatever you create will be just as difficult to learn for a human as English is. You can make something that is easier for a Chinese person to learn, or easier for an English person to learn, but you cannot make something that is easier for ALL humans to learn.

      If your goal is to make something which is easier to learn *in general*, you will not succeed, because your language will be just as arbitrary as a natural language.

      If your goal is to make something easier to learn for a specific language group like Chinese, or French, or Spanish, then it isn't clear why you don't just pick one of the native languages already in that language group. That language will be as easy to learn for others in that group as your artificial language, and it will be just as hard to pick up for people outside the language group as your artificial language will be.

      Nothing is accomplished by creating a new language, except the expenditure of cognitive energy. It is similar to changing the characters for the logical operators in math to something else because you think that will make math easier to learn.

    20. Re:Stop Now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I actually cited a South Park episode ( "Starvin' Marvin in Space", Season 3, Episode 13 ), the scene where Stan gives his usual soliloquy near the end of the episode, to the alien Marklars, who only have one word for everything. Marklar: "Here on Marklar, we refer to all people, places, and things as 'marklar.'"

      Stan adapts to their language, and it's still intelligible.

      It took a while for me to figure out that the word don't carry the meaning. There's an old joke about when Michelangelo was asked about the difficulties that he must have encountered in sculpting his masterpiece David. But he replied with "... It is easy. You just chip away the stone that doesn’t look like David.". Sometimes it seems words do just that, highly efficient at reducing ambiguity just enough for meaning to be transmitted. It's interesting watching kids invent language on the fly.

  54. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  55. Flexibility, rich literature, deep culture by Simon+Brooke · · Score: 1

    The reason English is is widely spoken around the world is not just that England had a long period of aggressive expansionism. It's also because English is an extremely flexible and expressive language, with a rich literature - literally millions of texts, many tens of thousands of which are fine works of art. Of course, this is true of many other well-established natural languages, from Farsi to Mandarin. But it isn't, and cannot be, true of any new artificial language.

    I'd guess it would take any artificial language at least a thousand years of hard use by millions of people before it could become a contender to supplant a natural language, and by that time it would have mutated into a natural language.

    --
    I'm old enough to remember when discussions on Slashdot were well informed.
  56. popular by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Thats it. English is a terrible language. But lots of people use it, its sort of a hang over from the british empire.
    The actual features of the language are almost irrelevant, the purpose of a language is to comminicate. The more people speak it, the more useful it is to learn.
    Adoption is everything, its why it is so hard to replace ip4 with ip6 depite the heavy backing of big hitters like google.

  57. Consistency by Voyager529 · · Score: 2

    The single simplest answer I can come up with is "no exceptions". English is dumb like that: "i before e, except after 'c'...or when you run a feisty heist on a weird, caffeinated, foreign, beige, Atheist neighbor". We make a word plural by adding an 's' at the end...except for womans, childs, mans, oxs, mouses, mooses, gooses, and about 1,001 other 'exceptions'. Verb conjugation is a mess, typically using "helping verbs" to establish tense, except when you don't. Then, there are vowels. Spanish has this right "a" (ah), "e" (eh), "i" (ee), "o" (oh), "u" (oo), no exceptions. English has a "short" and "long" sound for each, and then there's the "schwa" sound, because apparently simply using a "short u" when you need one is too complicated for English. And then, there's this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/annane....

    Trying to find a common denominator between Mandarin, Hungarian, Creole, and English is highly unlikely to happen. So, from my experience with languages, which is "English, with a high school understanding of Spanish and a handful of core phrases in other European languages (i.e. I can ask for a bathroom throughout Europe), my core answer would be consistency. This letter makes this sound, no exceptions. This word ending means that the word is in this tense, no exceptions.

    Finally, minimize the "through context" words-with-multiple-meanings situation; "love" being a great example. If you love your mother, your super-fast computer, bacon, and your spouse the same way, then the language is the least of your problems....

    1. Re:Consistency by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In Europe, and indeed most of the world with the exception of the US, it's probably a toilet you want to be asking for - unless you just really love having baths.

      Fucking Yanks.

  58. Esperanto by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Is a commie language, fostered by Kardecist fags. Its a terrible motherfucker idea.

  59. If u cn rd ths sntns by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If u cn rd ths sntns u cn lrn to spd rd.
    --Evelyn Wood.

  60. One thing... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    One thing you would have to do (and it would be impossible to enforce!), in order to make it easier as a second language, is abolish idioms. Idioms - figures of speech that mean something other than what the words do - is the part of learning a second language that's the hardest. And you would never be able to abolish them outside of a "1984"-style dictatorship.

  61. First you need a reason by omfglearntoplay · · Score: 2

    Zamenhof's reasons for making Esperanto strike a chord with me. A quote of a quote, from wikipedia:

    Esperanto was created in the late 1870s and early 1880s by L. L. Zamenhof, a Polish-Jewish ophthalmologist from Biaystok, then part of the Russian Empire. According to Zamenhof, he created the language to foster harmony between people from different countries. His feelings and the situation in Biaystok may be gleaned from an extract from his letter to Nikolai Borovko:[16]

            "The place where I was born and spent my childhood gave direction to all my future struggles. In Biaystok the inhabitants were divided into four distinct elements: Russians, Poles, Germans and Jews; each of these spoke their own language and looked on all the others as enemies. In such a town a sensitive nature feels more acutely than elsewhere the misery caused by language division and sees at every step that the diversity of languages is the first, or at least the most influential, basis for the separation of the human family into groups of enemies. I was brought up as an idealist; I was taught that all people were brothers, while outside in the street at every step I felt that there were no people, only Russians, Poles, Germans, Jews and so on. This was always a great torment to my infant mind, although many people may smile at such an 'anguish for the world' in a child. Since at that time I thought that 'grown-ups' were omnipotent, so I often said to myself that when I grew up I would certainly destroy this evil."
            —L. L. Zamenhof, in a letter to Nikolai Borovko, ca. 1895

    1. Re:First you need a reason by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "I've dreamed the European Dream. I dreamt that every country in Europe spoke a different language, and they all hated each otheroh, that’s true, isn’t it? Yes!"
        - Eddie Izzard (as Dr. Heimlich), Dress to Kill

      "Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation."
        - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  62. Pre-Babel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Probably whatever universal language was spoken prior to the events of the Tower of Babel.

  63. Wish list by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    * Correspondence between pronunciation and writing: one sound for letter, one letter for each sound.
    * Regular grammar
        - regular verbs
        - new words should be formed based on old words following simple rules

    About the other questions, why don't support the decisions with data? You can find out which sounds every language has (at least for a subset of your target market for the language), what are the most common, the easiest to learn for the non-native speakers, and weight all that to make the selection.

    Random comments:

    - Good thing about English: small set of characters, simple conjugation. Bad things: a lot of vowels, any similitude between hoe the word is pronounced and written is purely coincidental.
    - You may be limited by your own language. In Spanish we have a verb conjugation for hypothetical scenarios (the subjunctive: if I were president...). I miss it in English, but English speakers seem to be happy without it.
    - If a character can't be easily generated in a keyboard, it shouldn't go in a language.

  64. We already have one - Jive by trevc · · Score: 0

    De idea uh constructin' some language capable uh replacin' English gotss'ta fascinated me fo' some long time. What it is, Mama. Right On! I'd likes t'start some project wid some uh mah' own ideas and anyone who's interested, but I'd really likes t'hear whut da damn Slashdot community dinks on de topic fust. Takin' fo' granted dat actually replacin' English be highly unlikesly, whut characteristics would da damn new language need? Mo'e specifically, dig dis: How could da damn language be made as easy as possible t'learn comin' fum any lin'uistic background? How could interest in de language be fostered in as many sucka's as possible? What so't uh grammar would ya' choose and why? How would ya' build wo'ds and how would ya' select meanin's fo' dem, and why? What sounds and letters (and script(s)) would ya' choose? How impo'tant be simplicity and brevity? How impo'tant are aesdetics (and whut makes some language aesdetic)? What oda' facto's could be impo'tant t'consider, and whut oda' wahtahmelluns would ya' likes t'see in such some language?

  65. Please don't by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    If somebody answers with "NodeJS", I'll personally install Windows on your Linux server.

    1. Re:Please don't by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      NodeJS.

    2. Re:Please don't by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I came here to answer "Brainf***". I suppose I am in the clear ?

    3. Re:Please don't by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      how about grunt instead, then?

    4. Re:Please don't by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "If somebody answers with "NodeJS", I'll personally install Windows on your Linux server."

      That's ok; I was about to replace the hard drive anyway.
      Esta bien; estaba a punto de cambiar el disco.
      Das guut. Ichi men pataq lie gudamnit "hard drive"
      Tis Bat. Moin HardOn colaider ist kaput.

    5. Re:Please don't by Tablizer · · Score: 1

      Vista for you

    6. Re:Please don't by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Will it be a legally licensed version?

  66. Look at this by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esperanto

  67. Have a billion speakers by dwheeler · · Score: 1

    At one time a number of constructed languages were created and got some speakers (including Esperanto). But relatively few people learn a language just for fun (yes, I know about Klingon and Elvish, but they will not be replacing English). Most people will only learn a language if they have a strong need to USE that language to communicate with some large group of people. Esperanto is actually much easier to learn than English; it's a reasonable constructed language. I spent a little time learning some of it, and I appreciate its clever approaches to making it easier to learn (e.g., the "mal-" prefix). The problem is that you can only speak with other Esperanto speakers in it. English is a mess of complications, like all natural languages. In some ways English is easier; in others it is harder. But when you learn English, you can talk to the other 1 billion people who can speak English as a first or second language. For most people, THAT is what makes English worth learning. Again, you normally learn a language specifically so you can communicate with others. Chinese actually has more speakers than English, but they are concentrated in China; worldwide, it's easier to find an English speaker than any other specific language. If you want an easier-to-learn language than standard English, you might consider an English-based controlled language like "Basic English" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... or the "Special English" used by Voice of America https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... ; these are more complicated than Esperanto, but you can talk with many more speakers. I can imagine "mostly compatible with existing English" could be a necessary criteria for "new" constructed language, if you need to create one at all.

    --
    - David A. Wheeler (see my Secure Programming HOWTO)
  68. Sounds Awful 1984 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Have you never heard of NewSpeak?

  69. Need to have a reason to change by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    French was the international language before English. In much of the world Chinese has been dominant. What makes people learn a language is the need to use it to communicate to achieve other goals not to learn a language as an end in itself. English will go by the wayside when economic and political realities change so to achieve goals are better achieved in another language.

  70. Universality by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You want your constructed language to be able to connect the whole human race into an economic extravaganza of truly global common markets with clear, universal communication and the resulting building of trust. You want your language to be taught to every children in every country as a second language. If you manage this, you get accused as being an anti-Christ, the great Satan, the destroyer of cultures and so on, and will have to fend of few attempts against your life per year. Sounds familiar?

  71. Culture by rgmoore · · Score: 4, Insightful

    One thing that any language needs is a reason for people to want to learn and use it. Some people are willing to learn a new language for commercial or professional reasons, but having an actual culture built around the language is very important. People still learn dead languages like Latin, Classical Greek, and Biblical Hebrew because they want to read the important works of literature written in them. People learn Italian because they want to understand opera and Japanese so they can watch Anime. And they learn English at least in part so they can read Shakespeare and watch Hollywood movies in their original language. If your constructed language lacks that kind of culture, it's going to be at an inevitable disadvantage.

    --

    There's no point in questioning authority if you aren't going to listen to the answers.

  72. Complexity is a feature, not a bug by nine-times · · Score: 4, Insightful

    How could the language be made as easy as possible to learn coming from any linguistic background? How could interest in the language be fostered in as many people as possible?

    Part of the problem is, these two things are working at cross purposes. Contrary to your instinct, making a language easy to learn will also probably harm the cause of fostering interest.

    The problem is, from a sort of detached, scientific, logical point of view, it sounds like a great idea to have a language that is simple, easy to learn, containing definite rules, with no irregularity, and leaving little room for ambiguity. The problem is, people don't want language to work that way. It's not specifically that they want it to be hard to learn, but they want a language with nuance and ambiguity. We like puns and plays on words. People often enjoy and appreciate slang, or unusual word choice. And beyond that, people don't particularly like being told how to use language. It's something we learn culturally, and it's difficult to lose those habits. Picking up a language that no one actually speaks is difficult, since it has no purpose.

    So if you really want to develop a clean, simple, clear, concise language, you should probably plan to abduct a lot of babies and raise them yourself in order to force them to learn it. And then, prepare yourself, because they'll start developing slang, and using the language in ways that you didn't expect and might not approve of.

    1. Re:Complexity is a feature, not a bug by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

      Alright, I'll be ready with the whips for when the babies start to try to change it!

    2. Re:Complexity is a feature, not a bug by Princeofcups · · Score: 2

      Part of the problem is, these two things are working at cross purposes. Contrary to your instinct, making a language easy to learn will also probably harm the cause of fostering interest.

      The problem is, from a sort of detached, scientific, logical point of view, it sounds like a great idea to have a language that is simple, easy to learn, containing definite rules, with no irregularity, and leaving little room for ambiguity. The problem is, people don't want language to work that way. It's not specifically that they want it to be hard to learn, but they want a language with nuance and ambiguity. We like puns and plays on words. People often enjoy and appreciate slang, or unusual word choice.

      I am an American English speaker who has taken the first step to learning Japanese. One of the first things that confuses westerners about Japanese is the four alphabets, two phonetic (hiragana and katakana), one symbols borrowed from Chinese (kanji), as well as the English alphabet. Why not standardize the whole thing on English, and get rid of the rest? Well, then I discovered Kanji puns. There are different pronunciations and meanings for each Kanji, and they can be used in various ways to create double and triple meanings. The Japanese love to use Kanji puns. So, yeah, no one is looking for the optimally simple language. People want a language that the average people can communicate in, and the clever people can be funny and interesting in.

      --
      The only thing worse than a Democrat is a Republican.
    3. Re:Complexity is a feature, not a bug by smellsofbikes · · Score: 2

      How could the language be made as easy as possible to learn coming from any linguistic background? How could interest in the language be fostered in as many people as possible?

      The problem is, people don't want language to work that way. It's not specifically that they want it to be hard to learn, but they want a language with nuance and ambiguity. We like puns and plays on words.

      There's also an argument made by some rhetoricians that ambiguity in language (and other places) allows people to break prisoner's dilemma-type games, and we do so constantly as lubrication for our interactions. A simple example: you get a speeding ticket. You can pay the ticket, you can attempt to bribe the officer to not give you a ticket, at tremendous risk if it fails, or you can make an ambiguous statement like "is there some way I can just pay the fine right now and get on my way?" that an honest cop will answer 'no' and you end up having to pay the ticket, but there isn't sufficient information there to successfully accuse you of bribery, whereas a dishonest cop will take the offer. You reduce your risk/reward ratio through ambiguity. The same strategy when applied to relationships is even more successful because they're iterative.
      Our communication is inextricably interwoven with ambiguity, so we will invent it out of need if we don't have it.

      --
      Nostalgia's not what it used to be.
  73. Modifications from Esperanto's Ideas by LionKimbro · · Score: 1

    I have taught myself limited Esperanto, and can tell you: It actually DOES have a lot of unnecessary exceptions.

    So I would take the basic ideas of :

    Keep:
    * the correlatives -- in fact, make it COMPLETE (i tiam for "now", rather than "nun")
    * the agglutination system -- in fact, use it MORE, and think through, carefully, the ontology of each word region -- make it as plane and ordinary as possible: this may take several decades from a team of collaborating resesarchers, but might result in a dramatically easier learning curve
    * NO irregular verbs

    Toss:
    * the future tense (-os)
    * the conditional tense (-us)
    * basically, anything that comes from Latin
    * EXCEPTIONS
    * , or anything else that doesn't appear on a querty keyboard
    * irregular nouns
    * the Esperanto dictionary -- some overlap would be fine, but don't just import it (because we want a clean model of agglutinated nouns)

    Add:
    * limited vowel sounds -- constrain vowel sounds to Japanese's "a", "i", "u", "e", and "o" -- and NO syllable emphasis

    Irrelevant:
    * European vs. Asian basis -- I really don't think this is the obstacle people think it is.

  74. Basic English as Auxiliary Lang by shoor · · Score: 1

    If you're looking for something as an auxiliary language that allows people everywhere to communicate, and want to leverage what's already out there (English as a widely known lingua franca,) then it's already been tried http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basic_English/ and there's even a version of the wikipedia in it. http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

    The same sort of thing has been tried with Latin, Latino Sine Flexione (Latin without inflexions, since the main PITA with Latin was learning all the inflexions of 5 Declensions of nouns with 5 cases, 3 genders, singular and plural, 4 conjugations of verbs, not counting deponent and semi-deponent, then there's all the pronouns....) Latin is what they call an inflected language. Whatever you do, DON'T create one of those.

    If you want something different from the Indo-European style of languages, I was stationed in Japan for a couple of years and, while I never got good at it, and at first it seemed really weird, I eventually came to feel that Japanese grammatical structure is rather neat, so you might take a look at that. I've read about ergative languages. Modern English has picked some ergative features. I think employee from the verb employ is supposed to be an example. If I were designing a language, I think I'd want to have that.

    --
    In theory, theory and practice are the same; in practice they're different. (Yogi Berra & A. Einstein)
  75. Its called math by spacepimp · · Score: 1

    Take out the ambiguities of linguistics and you need to remove the ability for it to evolve. The perfect language you seek is math. The issue is the limit of what it can honestly convey.

    Look at Esperanto and the wide adoption it has amassed over the last 50 years. Follow their successfukl formula and you should have something less universal than pig latin. With universal translators, the need of a universal language is falling out of necessity more rapidly than adopting a new one for the world will be able to outpace.

    1. Re:Its called math by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Take out the ambiguities of linguistics and you need to remove the ability for it to evolve. The perfect language you seek is math. The issue is the limit of what it can honestly convey.

      Look at Esperanto and the wide adoption it has amassed over the last 50 years. Follow their successfukl formula and you should have something less universal than pig latin. With universal translators, the need of a universal language is falling out of necessity more rapidly than adopting a new one for the world will be able to outpace.

      The language evolve because we try to remove ambiguities. Every time there is a ambiguity, that means we need to rephrase or discover a new concept to remove the ambiguity.

  76. What would it have to be? by digital+photo · · Score: 1

    Q: What would a language need to have to be able to replace English?

    A: English. It would have to have English.

  77. As long as I don't have to press #1 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    To get my native language, which is the native language of this country (USA). Personally, it should be a requirement to learn English if you want to live here.

    1. Re:As long as I don't have to press #1 by ChunderDownunder · · Score: 1

      Wait 'til "Canadian Ted" Cruz becomes your president, overthrows the Castro regime and sends a twentieth of the island's population to the mainland as language teachers.

      2017: USA officially bilingual in English and Spanish - thence a compulsory subject! :)

  78. Not trivial by XB-70 · · Score: 1
    First of all, make a list of all phonemes - from easiest to hardest.

    Create an alphabet that mimics each phoneme that is also simple to reproduce using seven segment displays (as a guideline).

    Create a structure for nomenclature based on two things:

    1. Analysis of commonality of common usage (example: words for mother/father vs duodenum)

    2. Analysis of nomenclature structure: If it's a noun, how does it relate to other nouns and what it describes? Is there logic to the method of description?

    Build a model of the language and test it using voice recognition. The higher the level of understanding/comprehensibility the better.

    Put it out there and watch as the public completely ignores it.

    --
    *** Don't be dull.***
  79. No Upper/Lower Case Bullshit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I work with some non-native-English-speaking software engineers and they really, really fucked up the case-sensitivity stuff. ToUpper, ToLower (regardless of programming language) are irreversible transformations that lose information. Since their languages don't have that, they abused them, and they have made me furious. And yes, my emotional state should be the paramount consideration in designing a new language...

  80. It's called New Speak. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    New Speak - look it up noob.

  81. language determines thought patterns by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Given that spoken and written language shape and even determine thought patterns why would we trust you hacking our brains with your made up language?

    And as much as everyone complains about English please consider that one of the common factors amongst the majority of worlds greatest scientists, inventors and innovators for the past several centuries has been knowledge and use of English (whether as primary or a secondary language and regardless of genetic or cultural heritage).

    Maybe, just maybe, the very things that people whine about in the English language gives it's speakers the mental flexibility to more easily conceive new ideas...

  82. Yoda by PPH · · Score: 1

    Replace English you will. Confused you then will become.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  83. The killer feature is: history by swillden · · Score: 1

    Want your language to become the next lingua franca? The first thing you need is a time machine. You have to go back in time and find some culture that is going to become extremely influential and somehow get them to adopt your language.

    Features of grammar, spelling, etc. are irrelevant. There can be no better proof than the current widespread dominance of English.

    --
    Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
  84. Re:english has problems, just use a better languag by Locke2005 · · Score: 1

    On the bright side, English is a GREAT language for puns due to having a large number of homophones!

    --
    I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
  85. Widely Employed. by Dartz-IRL · · Score: 1

    Widely Employed by a brutal Imperialist power as it cuts a swathe across the world.
     

    --
    So there I was, scribbling down some notes off the PC screen by hand, when I reached for the keyboard and Ctrl-S'd.
  86. Rules for an ideal language by fnj · · Score: 1

    1) No irregular verb conjugations. Period. None.

    2) No irregular pronunciations. All words should be pronounceable by rules dependent solely on spelling.

    3) Severely limited number of phonemes. You just don't need a huge number of them. Certainly less than English has, and much less than the worst offenders have.

    4) No accented characters. They are completely unnecessary.

    5) No meaning dependent on intonation.

    5) Complete absence of phonemes that require lingual or other extremely difficult to master gymnastics. Nothing like the horror of the trilled R in many/most languages, or the ch sound in German.

    1. Re:Rules for an ideal language by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      4) No accented characters. They are completely unnecessary.

      In languages that don't have/use accents, obviously.
      Languages who have them, obviously need them, like frech.
      Sorry, but that was a rather dumb suggestion.
      Ah, well if we talk about a new artificial language we can consider this ofc.

      Nothing like the horror of the trilled R in many/most languages, or the ch sound in German.
      Why not simply accepting both R's as valid, and why not getting used to the fact that a lot of languages, especially the semitic ones, also have that german "ch" sound?

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
  87. It would have to be English by T.E.D. · · Score: 1

    What Would a Constructed Language Have To Be To Replace English?

    English

    To misquote Tony Hoare: I don't know what the language of the future will look like, but I know it will be called English.

  88. Orphans develop own sign language by davidwr · · Score: 1

    This sign language developed by orphans in Nicaragua my be relevant.

    --
    Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
  89. Jokes and Poetry by pubwvj · · Score: 2

    It's going to need words that mean multiple things and multiple words to say the same thing or we won't be able to tell such great jokes and poetry.

  90. Easy.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Step 1: Goto college to become a linguist.
    Step 2: After 4-years of intense study.. you *begin* to understand how patently stupid your idea is.

    If such notable folks such as Noam Chomsky, J.R.R. Tolkien, among others (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_linguists) understand the futility of this how do you think you will be much better? I'm not saying that you cannot - but the effort is right up there with Foundation's Seldon. An effort that makes the solution to Fermat's Last Theorem as easy as 1+1=2 (standard arithmetic using real numbers).

    Read Douglas Hofstadter's Godel, Escher, Bach, and take a course in symbolic logic. If your head hasn't exploded yet... you understand the beginnings on how to synthesize a grammar... work forward from there. Check back in over the next 50 years and let us know how it's going.

    How does one eat an elephant? One forkful at a time.
    Corollary: If you think that the solution is quick and/or easy most likely indicates that you don't quite understand the problem.

    Fred in IT.

  91. Replacing Language? How about UOMs in US? by Carcass666 · · Score: 1

    We are unable to convince citizens in the USA to convert from imperial to metric measurements, despite the numerous benefits including easier conversion, scalability, etc. If you cannot convince a populace that it's easier to divide by 10 than 12, then there is little hope you can convince them to switch languages so they can avoid using irregular verbs.

    1. Re:Replacing Language? How about UOMs in US? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Base 12 is actually is actually quite nice, and has many advantages. The problem with the imperial system is the lack of uniformity, not the base. The idea behind metric could be implemented using any base.

      Unfortunately, our ancestors made the wrong choice and that ship has sailed long ago. It is still interesting to read about though...

    2. Re:Replacing Language? How about UOMs in US? by dave420 · · Score: 1

      Base 12 means converting from one unit to another is far more complicated than base 10. Base 12 sucks for anything more complicated than measuring a single piece of wood.

  92. Re:The main ingredient: by dakotapearl · · Score: 1

    That's very true. Thanks for the input

  93. No Exceptions or duplications by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Get rid of all the stupid exceptions that make learning the language difficult

    Flammable vs. inflammable, i before e except after c, that kinda BS is just stupid and typically is completely baseless

    And get rid of all the duplication of sound vs different meaning (I can't even think of a good example, but I know there are words that sound identical but have completely different meaning). The spoken language is at least as important as the written, maybe more so.

  94. Hahahaha - But it will be replaced by Etherwalk · · Score: 1

    Right,. English combines the melody of German pronunciation and the ease of French grammar with the simplicity of Latin logic. A beautiful language, indeed.

    Exactly so.

    English can be a beautiful language when used by a master or a wise fool. It can equally be a terrible language when used by a proclaimed master or a person who thinks himself wise.

    English will be replaced like Latin was. It will just take a while. The elite just stopped learning Latin, for the most part, a few decades ago. They existed side-by-side for a long time.

    1. Re:Hahahaha - But it will be replaced by Gr8Apes · · Score: 1

      English will be replaced by ....
      English (2020)
      Most of what's spoken today will be halfway unintelligible garbage to someone 200 years ago, and the change is accelerating.

      --
      The cesspool just got a check and balance.
  95. some thoughts by Tumbleweed · · Score: 1

    FYI: My native language is English, and I have studied Spanish, French, and am currently studying Japanese.

    As already mentioned, no irregular verbs

    No verb conjugation

    Japanese has the concept of particles, which is brilliant, and can solve a great many problems that are present in most natural languages

    The problems with Japanese (being a natural language, it has problems like any other) could be solved by more extensive use of particles. Verb conjugation particles could be added; counters could be replaced by a counter particle, etc. Verb particles could also let you put the verb anywhere in the sentence you want, making for a very flexible language. Particles for various levels of politeness could make that very easy for those societies where that is a thing.

    re: sounds

    I would evaluate the major languages of the world and see if there is a sizable enough set of sounds they have in common that would be sufficient for the new language. One of the problems learners of second languages have is their new language often has sounds that simply do not exist in their native language. If you don't start learning your new language before puberty, the chances of you being able to make native-level sounds in your target language (when those sounds don't exist in your native language) become very unlikely. Some people are able to, but most are not, especially if they don't have the opportunity to immerse themselves in that language every day, which will never happen in a new constructed language.

    re: writing

    I'm learning Japanese, and the no spaces between words is VERY difficult to adapt to. I would recommend against no spaces. :)

    Logographs like Chinese characters (which are also used in Japanese) are VERY efficient for a native language (and I can read those far faster than the Japanese words which do not use them), but learning them is a total pain in the ass, and takes far longer than I would think a good idea for a secondary, universal language. For this reason, I would use an alphabet system that is already in widespread use, and well-understood by more people than any other - the Latin character set used by English and the Romanesque/Romance languages. I would avoid the use of diacritical marks, if possible, due to being harder to type.

    1. Re:some thoughts by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      It is allowed to write Japanese with spaces and many news papers e.g. do that. At least in their web version.

      I believe most of my jap. Cartoons do use spaces.

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    2. Re:some thoughts by Tumbleweed · · Score: 1

      It is allowed to write Japanese with spaces and many news papers e.g. do that. At least in their web version.

      I believe most of my jap. Cartoons do use spaces.

      They do that in cartoons for kids. That's how they learn, since they don't have a full grasp of the kanji characters until around high school. Without knowing a good chuck of Kanji, it's very difficult to tell where one word stops and another starts. It's not how adults typically read, though.

      As far as news sites, I'm not good enough to read those in Japanese yet, but the ones I've seen only have spaces after punctuation, like commas or at the end of sentences, not between words.

    3. Re:some thoughts by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      In theory right, but in practice not :D

      http://www.asahi.com/

      The front page alone already has plenty of spaces between words in head lines (not at punctations)

      However the same front page also has many head lines (on the right side) without spaces.

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
  96. QWERTY vs. Dvorak by Theovon · · Score: 1

    There are a lot of proponents that will tell you that you should learn the Dvorak keyboard. Why don't people learn it? Doing so is a big investment, without assurance of a big payoff. In fact, it's been shown that Dvorak is only marginally better than Qwerty. The theory is (and it's questionable) that Dvorak leads to faster typing because it's carefully optimized to speed typing. Qwerty isn't much worse than optimal because it's random, and random asymptotically approaches optimal in many cases. Consider random vs. LRU cache replacement policies. Also, the main reason people believe Dvorak is better is not because it's been shown to be the case objectively but because people have believed the marketing materials that came from the inventors of the Dvorak keyboard layout.

    Ok, so going back to this investment idea, you have a choice between English, which sucks to learn but half the world knows, and some new language you just invented that nobody knows but which MAY (but you don't have proof) be easier to learn. Where are you going to spend your energy? Marginally higher learning effort with a clearly huge payoff or a marginally lower learning effort but a huge risk that you'll never find another speaker of the language?

    I'm a conlang enthusiast. I've invented a few myself. But I did it as a means to tinker with ideas, explore, and learn about language. I never had any expectation that people would use them with any regularity. Actually, two of them I named "Ferengi" and "Cardassian," so you can see that it was driven in part by my interest in science fiction, which is FICTION.

    So, invent your new language. Talk to people on the internet about it who are also interested in conlangs. It's a fun hobby. But be realistic about it. Most people don't give a crap about learning ANY second language (especially in the US, while elsewhere people get multiple languages because people are forced by circumstances or live in multilingual communities), and they're certainly not interested in languages for their own sake. This is why "free and open source software" is hard for politicians to grasp as being of any value (at least on an ethical level) because most people don't get it and really just don't care.

    BTW, some others here have made some good points about irregularity and redundancy. Redundancy is vital to a language. We need it to maintain a high signal to noise ratio. If you eliminate the irregularities (which have been positively selected for because of their redundancy value), then you'll make the language perhaps easier to learn but harder to understand. Esperanto's regularity is not an asset, and native speakers have naturally introduced new irregularities to compensate for the drawbacks. So your ideal universal language would in fact be intentionally harder to learn so that as to minimize ambiguity in communication.

    1. Re:QWERTY vs. Dvorak by Qwertie · · Score: 1

      You're partially right - while Dvorak is unequivocally better than Qwerty, it's not really "better enough" to justify learning in a world covered in Qwerty keyboards. However there are other designs, most notably Colemak, which are better contenders. Colemak is slightly superior to Dvorak while simultaneously being designed to fit into a Qwerty world. Because Colemak is somewhat similar to Qwerty, it's easier to learn for Qwerty users, and it's easier to switch between Colemak and Qwerty when you have to. Oh and Qwerty isn't random, either. Many of the most common letters are on the top row and many of the least common letters are on the bottom row. It is no coincidence that the word "typewriter" consists only of letters on the top row. Not. Random. "ABC"s keyboards ARE effectively random, since the alphabetic order is nearly random and unrelated to keyboard design. The ABC keyboards I've seen are substantially LESS efficient than Qwerty.

      Redundancy does not require irregularity. Zamenhof didn't put enough value on redundancy and created similar forms like sep & sek, mi & ni, kiel/kie/kia/kiam (in which only an unstressed syllable differs). Such problems can be avoided without making the language irregular.

      Throughout history, language has been molded and folded by war and conquest, clashes & meetings between different cultures, and by games played staying off boredom while working in the fields. Many, many people on this thread are giving ignorant and simplistic views, assuming that there are simple and/or sensible reasons for the irregularities and other features of their language, assuming that language will evolve in modern civilization the same way it did before the year 1800, assuming that a planned language automatically has all the same properties as "natural" languages, etc. All your assumptions are nonsense, folks. We won't actually know how well a planned inter-language will work in practice, or how it will evolve, until we put one into practice. Why are people so eager to put down ideas they've never seen in action?

  97. Just like the metric system by Skynyrd · · Score: 1

    Just like the metric system, this would be simpler than what we use now. And it will never happen.

  98. How to unify sound, symbol, sign language. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    A language that could replace English is a language that have a grammar that could be apply in many different situation. These situation are sign language, visual language, sound language. One item could have many sound, symbol or sign associated with it, but only have one grammar to link many item together to form a semantic.

    Can current grammar be able to apply in all three situation without increasing strutural complexity of a language?

  99. Why not look at Afrikaans? by KruiserX · · Score: 1

    Afrikaans is the youngest official language in the world, granted, it shares a lot of similarity to dutch, it has evolved quite a bit and still is. It does have a few nice things, if you spell a word in Afrikaans you'll get it right most of the times by just spelling it as you say it. No silent sounds, no weird rules. It does have some eccentricities, double negatives ie. "Hy kan nie swem nie." "He can not swim not". I must admit than I am a first language Afrikaans speaker so I might be biased. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A...

  100. Migration issue by wren337 · · Score: 1

    There are candidate languages already like Esperanto as has been pointed out. I think what you're looking for is a path to get from here to there. Artificially, I think you'd want education, books, newscasters etc. to start deliberately moving what we see as "proper" language towards the new language. Start introducing borrow-words that are easy to infer meaning of from usage. Begin tweaking word order in subtle ways towards the target. Let people pick it up over generations. Over the course of 100, 200 years with concerted effort the entire planet could be speaking one language. Maybe shorter. But the coordination it would take would be unprecedented.

    1. Re:Migration issue by cfalcon · · Score: 1

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P...

      Do you WANT to "get there from here"? This isn't a language building group, it's a group wanting to use language to change society. I'd be interested in a language if I was using it to sculpt my mind, not be brainwashed. Our natural languages do more than enough of that, but at least they've been through the evolutionary wringer.

  101. i18n by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    English is very poor language to be a master language for i18n files because the same word may be translated as a different part of speech. For example, search. Is it a noun or a verb? On a button we can't tell the difference. There are natural languages (especially, fusional ones, consult wikipedia), which make that clear syntactically (I think, even Esperanto may do that). Apart from that, language should have a proper balance between being well-defined and "uncertain", otherwise you get too formal language, which will not be able to absorb new ideas easily. When language is balanced, it will be "beautiful".

  102. Leverage Existing Language by Bruce2u2 · · Score: 1

    In constructing a language easily learnable by the most people, you'd want to leverage as much existing knowledge as possible. Rather than starting from scratch, it would be more efficient to revise and regularize a popular existing language so that its speakers could adapt and new users could learn easily. The two obvious candidate languages are English and Spanish. Chinese and Arabic are ruled out by the difficulty of learning. The argument for English is that it is the largest language for first and second use and is a popular foreign language for students. The argument for Spanish is that it has more regular spelling and grammar and is easier to learn. If you chose English, you would want to regularize its grammar and spelling while attempting to retain as much vocabulary as possible and bring in useful new words from other languages. Fortunately these changes are already happening through evolution. It’s possible to imagine an official regularization authorized by English-speaking governments and performed by scholars, but the required political steps are unlikely. We’re probably stuck with evolution, which is not all bad.

  103. Language is created by instinct, not fiat by KeithH · · Score: 1

    I strongly recommend Steven Pinker's The Language Instinct. It will shed a lot of light on the nature of language and help you understand that it cannot be constructed by fiat.

    To summarize Pinker's thesis succinctly, language is created by each individual by instinct and at a young age . There are a couple of fascinating examples from recent history that demonstrate the process. One is in a deaf community in Nicaragua: after the Sandinista war when a semblence of calm returned to the country, the authorities were able to create schools for the deaf. Initially, the students were teenagers collected from various villages. They had lived in isolation with their families and no education in sign language. "Instinctively", each had created their own sign language. When they were brought together, the students merged their separate sign languages into a pidgin. The interesting bit is what happened when younger children subsequently joined the school: since their language instinct was still creating language, they were able to adapt the nascent pidgin into a more more coherent sign language complete with grammatical rules; the result was much more expressive and coherent - and completely independent of other established sign languages. Today, it is a recognized sign language.

    It is constructive to think of language as something created by each individual; everybody has their own language and they evolve separately and over time, driven by social imperatives.

    On the topic of redundancy: it is a necessary part of all languages. It would be a huge mistake to try to design a more efficientlanguage. This is in part because languages must be able to evolve. They are never static.

    Regarding rules: one of the reasons that English has been so successful is its forgiving nature and its willingness to absorb shamelessly from other languages.

    In short, I think you will find it more enjoyable and fruitful to channel your interest into other aspects of language. Over the past decade there have been huge advances in language recognition and translation; you might like to start with those fields since they are current, topical, and valuable.

    You might also wish to check out another one of my favourite books: The Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson. Both of these books are targeted at the layman and are very enjoyable reads.

  104. See what I did there by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Easier said than done.

  105. Why? by alvieboy · · Score: 1

    Why ?

    English just works.

    There's no such thing as an Universal Language. That language would not be able to capture the people's culture and beliefs. English, however, has been able to, and despite all variants, be understood worldwide. Same does not happen with Spanish, Portuguese, Slavic languages, and Chinese.

    If it ain't broken, why fix it (or replace it) ?

  106. Whoa, really nice topic by cfalcon · · Score: 4, Interesting

    "Taking for granted that actually replacing English is highly unlikely, what characteristics would the new language need?"

    1- It would need to be designed with an attitude like this. Language is a tool, a functional one. I'll say this again: if the goals of the language are like, "political unity", "avoid sexism", "reduce regional pride", "language rights", or "diversity", then it isn't a useful tool, it's ultimately newspeak.

    2- Needs to offer an advantage to the speaker. Some languages seem to likely impart an advantage to most speakers based on the inclusion or absence of certain forms. A native thinker in this hypothetical language needs to actually have some tricks that help them think faster or more accurately. This is VERY distinct from political goals above- this is functional.

    3- Needs to be extensible and compatible with emotion. Constructed languages seem to really lack on this, likely because the lived experience of the constructors just don't add up to anything close to the human experience. If your language can't express the opinions of your enemies, if they can't say what they want to tear you down, then you're trying to create a world where they can't express their thoughts. I can't find any good racial slurs in Esperanto or Lojban, likely because the people who use these languages aren't the sort to use them- but lacking expressivity means the language is crap. If you make a utopian language, they'll use it in utopia- so, nowhere at all.

    4- Needs some study done to show that the actual things it does are helpful. For instance, there's a study going around that hints that languages with a future tense feature people who think of "future them" as different than "present them"- this is presented as a negative (save less, eat more, make some poorer short term decisions), but given the HUGE number of tenses and modes that ancestral languages had (and mostly lost), it seems likely that any of these things could be advantages or disadvantages at different times.

    Summary: The language should be designed to help the INDIVIDUAL, first and foremost. It shouldn't be about some redesign society goal.

    I think that such a language can't really exist- I think that, if languages are worth creating and discussing and learning, that it's obvious that they have shaped their societies at the same time as they have been shaped by them. If society A and society B both have a language that, say, has a future tense (supposing that this one is a real finding), and society A loses it, will members of society A become more fulfilled and wary of tomorrow, as the study seems to hint, while society B stays stagnant, or will society B be more likely to be aggressive about resources, more able to defend itself from society E coming in and kicking their asses? Given that in the real world we have both (and from root languages that DID have it, meaning some lost it), it's not even possible to call one "better" under all circumstances.

    I think that languages meant with a specific goal will appeal to people who want that. Lojban seems like it should be appealing to people who want to think in some rational fashion, but I don't think any study shows that in any way. Esperanto is popular among people who want to bring down national borders and unify humanity. So if you make a language that makes the individual learning it more powerful and effective (versus "everyone in society would need to have this language drilled into them for the test to happen"), then you'll get a core group, and if it is successful, then the language will spread naturally for the reason all language does- beneficial for the user.

  107. Dubya by ThatsNotPudding · · Score: 1

    "The French don't have a word for Entrepreneur." -- Village Idiot

  108. A big army and an empire by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Obviously, one needs a big army and a lasting empire. This is why I hope the Chinese don't win, their language (especially the writing) is impossible...

  109. Onomatopoeia by Lightbeard · · Score: 1

    A very wonderful characteristic of ancient languages such as Aramaic is their words intuitively sound like their meaning. This is something we have pretty much lost in the English language. This is known as Onomatopoeia.

    For example, the word "Odin" to me seems to have good Onomatopoeia, it sounds like the name of someone important. However, his wife's name "Frigg" does not have good Onomatopoeia - in my opinion it doesn't sound queenly or goddess-like.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O...

    1. Re:Onomatopoeia by Livius · · Score: 1

      The catch is that everyone's concept of 'intuitively' is different.

  110. Mod parent up! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    My sentiments exactly.

    My initial thought was "what a stupid thing to waste time and resources on."

  111. Culture first, then language by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The language should represent the underlying culture. That includes concepts of space, time, family and relations, ownership and sharing, and ultimately my self and place in things.

    Gotta think seriously about what you want to communicate. Very different needs for city dwellers, agriculturalists, and hunter gatherers.

  112. For the love of ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Why yet another language? There is nothing wrong with the current natural evolution of a global language.

  113. Don't re-invent the wheel by Martin+Spamer · · Score: 1
  114. Context free grammar. Huffman encoding by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Context free grammar with word definitions derived from Huffman encoding of common phonemes based on use frequency.

    i.e. Klingon

  115. Does It Have to be Useful? by mx+b · · Score: 1

    I would think as a philosopher you would understand the need for the human mind to create (which seems to be most of your argument, actually, that people create changes to languages very naturally).

    So, if this person wants a hobby of messing around with language and seeing where that takes him, why not? Why not follow his passions, even if not for the rest of his life, just for a year or so to learn more about languages and history of them? I'm very disappointed to see so much negativity amounting to an academic subject; why not encouragement? It's one thing to say "don't expect to create the world's main language in the year 2050", but why such negativity about it?

    After all, what use is anything we all do? Sports, mathematics, science, philosophy, arts. Culture changes on a whim, sometimes culture never accepts your work, and in a few billion years when the sun explodes perhaps all evidence of human kind will be extinguished anyway.

    So why the hell can't a man dream? Why can't we encourage him? Even if his language never gets used by anyone ever, the process of creating will forever alter the submitter's brain in a way that lets him see the world (or at least, subset of the world) differently than before, and that's something I encourage.

    I guess my tl;dr is : if he enjoys it, how is it a problem to want to tinker?

    If you would like an example of the utter failure of humans attempting to create artificial languages then go look up Esperanto.

    I looked into Esperanto and find it a very fun language. As you state, at least as far as I understand your argument, language needs to be adaptable. Esperanto is quite adaptable, as it only has a few essential rules. Subject-verb-object order can be strewn about without loss of understanding, adjectives and nouns can be built up using interesting prefixes and suffixes to get across a point (being only a beginner, I had already noticed there were several concepts I could express in a couple of words that take a sentence or two in English -- I imagine with better vocabulary and maturity one could communicate some very interesting concepts succinctly that perhaps cannot be done at all in English). Really it is a fantastic language, one that has indeed grown since it was first developed over 100 years ago, but the developments have kept in line with that minimalist set of rules.

    If nothing else, just the consistent sounds of letters makes me happy. It drives me nuts trying to spell in English. If we had the consistency of Esperanto, it would be much easier to communicate in written word without confusion (or at least, easier to become proficient at writing).

    I would encourage the original submitter to look into Esperanto and the design decisions of the language. It really did well in the early 1900s. I do not offhand have the link, but I believe I have read before that it likely would have become a more world-wide trading language (it was growing very fast) if it had not been the world wars that catapulted the U.S. into world power status and therefore English as a major language (prior to then, French had been the dominant international language -- in fact, I believe it said the U.S. supported the switch from French to Esperanto until it looked likely that English would take over). Pretty decent for a constructed language, and would probably be fascinating research for a person interested in languages. I admit my own interest but never the time to fully verify (isn't that everyone's problem though?)

  116. this. is. slashdot. by Hevel-Varik · · Score: 1

    Slashdot has finally decended into Kafka land, the comment section having been there for some time. English wasn't made. No comparable entity has ever been made. Man was created a speaker of language which facilitated expression of his soul. And Man made a tower which resulted in several languages which evolved into many, many more, or all languages just evolved along with the speakers from nothingness over a looooong amount of time. Depending on your religion.

  117. E-Prime by gatkinso · · Score: 1
    --
    I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
    1. Re:E-Prime by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why would anyone opt into this? You lose a great deal of persuasiveness. It sounds like an E-Prime speaker is choosing ideology over efficacy and brevity.

  118. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  119. how about... American English variant by swschrad · · Score: 1

    well-known, widely recognized, drawn from basically every other language so everybody has something to like. and I already know it, so there!

    --
    if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
  120. Your question has already been answered. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Not sure if you've ever been around people who born in the 90's, but they DO NOT speak english, as far as I can tell.

  121. In the Land of Invented Languages by Dainutehvs · · Score: 1

    I'd urge you to read that peace by Arika Okrent. Apart from reading stories about miscelenious freaks, geniuses and villains you will understanding why you will most likely fail. According to Okrent there are 2 main reasons why folks invent language
    1- remove ambiguity and find universal tool for describing everything (Lojban being last interesting attempt)
    2- easy-to learn communications tool (Esperanto, Ido and similar)
    3- pure fun (creations by Tolkien and authors of Star Wars (sorry do not remember language names anymore)
    And you will fail in any of those categories because .. well I'll not spoil it :)

  122. Ebonics by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It would need to be easily adoptable by the urban community in the inner city.

  123. Beer SHOULD be warm. by presidenteloco · · Score: 1

    A good ale should be consumed at room temperature. That is, 10-14C : typical room temperature in the early evening in a medieval roadside inn.

    --

    Where are we going and why are we in a handbasket?
  124. Solresol by smugfunt · · Score: 1

    Solresol has some fun features.

    Also dump verb conjugation.

    Alfred Korzybski made some important observations I think.

    And finally, to replace English your language will need to become the official language of a World-spanning empire like those of Britain and America.

  125. the only way to replace english.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Is to conquer much of the world and enforce a new language. That's how english got to where it is. Short of that, good luck, you'll need it.

  126. Back to 1963 by JimSadler · · Score: 1

    Among others the US military took an interest in new or efficient languages back in the 1960 era. Colleges sometimes were used to try out various language experiments without the transparency the English majors should have had as they thought it was simply an educational project. For example try to create a working language with 50 words leaps to mind. If you could get a language with fifty words up and running and the encrypt the language it would offer a very secure language with a built in resistance to being cracked. Keep in mind that you could also create the fifty words yourself. Others might be asked to create languages with 100 or 200 new words. Keep in mind that there are people among us who have a fifty word vocabulary and they somehow get through life. One of the easy things to observe is the slow and difficult flow of formal languages such as mathematics, chemistry or physics. Imagine if Einstein had delivered the E = MC squared equation without telling anyone what E, M or C represented. How many years would have passed before someone understood that equation at all? As far as the beauty and utility of English is concerned it may very well be the best language ever conceived. Some would argue that French would be better and many realize that German is highly suited for science and engineering. The one negative for English is for new learners coming from non English speaking nations. Yet English continues to spread around the world as more and more nations find it essential to do business.

  127. I wouldn't learn your language by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I wouldn't learn your language because it's made-up. Languages are a reflection of their history and lineage. They change over time according to need and simplification - e.g. creoles (which started as over-simplistic "made-up" dialects) though geographically distinct showed a convergent evolution as they acquired features that were initially missing (which brought linguists to thinking this showed a universal process in the way human language emerges) ; French on the other hand has been consistently simplified overtime - or so have its phonetics, many hard features naturally flattened themselves out, though the syntax mostly remained (which made it worse).

    Languages are a reflection of their usage, and to the large extent a reflection of their people. It conveys an identity of sort. And here's my issue: English is naturally spoken as a first language by many people worldwide, and there exists many resources of an international scale already. Which makes it a likely candidate.

    Your language on the other hand would be mostly learned by people who are well-educated (and have enough interest, which is not my situation as your language doesn't have any usage nor history). Although I understand the ideal I believe your language would essentially make a new Latin - and help in dividing people further.

  128. A bit of perspective by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Everyone is quick to say "But ENGLISH is the international language!"

    This is a relatively recent phenomenon. A hundred years ago, French was the international language- signs of which still persist today- just look at a post office customs declaration or the inside cover of even a US passport: the text is in English and French.

    What happened? Well, the rise to superpower status of the USA and 2 world wars among a host of other reasons led to English dominance. And it was an unofficial, rather organic process. People learn a language if they see a benefit to it, preferably an economic one. So, if all the people with money speak a certain language, that's the language you learn, if you want to do business with them. I think we are seeing that with China today- Chinese is, arguably, the second most popular language to learn for business purposes. I can easily foresee a future that is a bit like the TV series "Serenity", where people are expected to know both languages, and freely mix the two.

    Yet, there is a wild card: Esperanto is very popular right now in China. It is studied because it provides an easy "primer language" to learning more difficult languages such as English, Russian, French, etc. There have been some studies which show the benefit learning Esperanto first has on future language learning. It is still possible that the Chinese government could say "Let's teach Esperanto for a couple of years to school children, to give them a quick-and-easy-to-learn lingua franca for use both inside China (so a Cantonese speaker can communicate easily with a Uigher or Tibetan for example) and outside the country, as well as being something that isn't the language of our biggest rival." Today, Chinese parents want their kids to learn English for the economic benefits- Esperanto, at a young age, can be an easy sell to those millions of Chinese parents for helping to improve their kids English ability in the future.

    If that happens, you could see a slow, organic growth of Esperanto as a second lingua franca. Let's say you have 100 million Chinese who took a couple of years in school. The rest of the world can either 1)Learn Chinese, which is bastard hard or 2)Learn Esperanto which takes about 150 hours to be able to communicate at a reasonable level. The economic incentive to learn Esperanto is obvious, and no one in their right mind (well, except language nerds like myself) want to struggle through learning Chinese if there is an alternative. It wouldn't replace English, but it might become a popular language to learn for Asian-oriented businesses, to the point where we see Esperanto a bit like we see French today.

  129. I don't want a "better" language... by reiserifick · · Score: 1

    The English language has so much character and personality, largely because of its "flaws". I wouldn't want it any other way. Most every language that people have used has character as a result of being used by humans and evolving over many, many years.

  130. Or.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Investigate the changes that have happened to normal and customary use of English in the last 50-100-250 years to see a fiat set of rules to drive answers to your question. Speakers have already "voted" on all of these points by changing the way the language is used over the years -- why prompt speculative answers to these questions instead of just learning from fact. God knows bike-shedding a new language will lead to a better result.

  131. No-one who speaks Spanish matters, even in Spain by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You are obviously a MORON with zero reading comprehension skills. "English is the standard international language" isn't about simple, highly irrelevant numbers.

    English won a long time ago. Spanish wasn't even in the competition (which given the sick depraved history of the Spanish Empire is neither surprising nor sad). A 'local' language from China matters no more than 'local' languages in India.

    English dominates our planet because English is NOT controlled or regulated. Unlike inferior languages, English does NOT carry a chip on its shoulder, but embraces input from any who dare to step up at a cultural level. English is the opposite to 'NEWSPEAK'. Languages that try and fail to compete were created by their authorities precisely to be regional 'Newspeak', so elites could better control their populations. English is the true language of the people- the ONLY reason it is attacked periodically by dribblers and ner-do-wells with the most evil intentions.

  132. Number of speakers is not important. by zenaida_valdez · · Score: 2

    Money talks. Counting the US, UK, Canada, and Australia, fully 30% of the world's GDP is produced in English. Mandarin (70% of Chinese, China produces 13% of the world's GDP) is a distant second at about 9%. We live in an interconnected world, and it speaks English.

  133. Expressive Esperanto by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    So all this Esperanto talk reminds me of an old "National Lampoon" magazine article from November
    1972. "How to talk dirty in Esperanto" (can't keep them away even if it wasn't designed for it).

  134. Esperanto, by bdubSOv1iKIJ403M · · Score: 1

    I tried learning esperanto, several years ago, from the argument of efficiency.
    - esperanto is supposed to be 4x easier to learn than most other languages
    - therefore, if I want to communicate with any single person who doesn't already speak english, it would be only 1/2 the effort, for BOTH of us to learn esperanto, than for either of us, to learn the other's native language.
    ---
    Mi komencis lerni esperanton, antaux multaj jaroj, de la motivo de facileco.
    Esperanto estas kvar-obla pli facile konigi, ol multaj alia lingvoj.
    Do, se mi volas korespondi kun tiu kiu ne kompreneblas anglo, estus nur du-ona laboro, por ni ambauxe lernus esperanton, ol oni de ni lernus la alia pralingvon.
    ---
    But in practice, everyone I've ever met, either has english 10x better than my esperanto, or knows absolutely zero esperanto whatsoever, and "ne habla espanol" is the only phrase I've needed.
    ---
    Sed en vero, cxiu kiu ke mi rekontis, havas anglo dek-obla bona ol mia esperanto, aux konas nulo esperanto, kaj "ne habla espanol" estas la nur vortoj mia bezonis.

  135. Ithkuil: A Hypothetical Language by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I believe the Ithkuil language may meet your requirements.

    http://www.ithkuil.net/index.htm

    I've been meaning to learn it for years now. Never really found the motivation.

  136. Lidepla by Pseudonymus+Bosch · · Score: 1

    If, for some reason, you don't like Esperanto, you can check Lingwa de planeta. The designing committee has already made the main decisions, but you can find something to contribute or to avoid.

    --
    __
    Men with no respect for life must never be allowed to control the ultimate instruments of death.
    GW Bu
  137. It's been done by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Klingon, Esperanto. Elvish, Dwarvish, Entish, Orcish, etc. (Tolkien was a masterful linguist).

  138. Re:Yiddish insults by muridae · · Score: 1

    Not being Jewish, but coming from a religion with very strange rules, I like this idea. Picking a name before the baby was born was a sure-fire way to piss off god and get a dead baby; insults come from there. And then there is always the southern "Bless your heart."

  139. universal translator by General+Anders · · Score: 1

    Sorry, I just don't see a constructed language taking over, unless you count a universal translator. The only way I see English going out is if the US or an English-speaking country goes Nazi and English gets shunned (similar to what happened to German) for whatever the big good-guy country speaks.

  140. It would have to be Chinese. (NT) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It would have to be Chinese.

  141. babylon is fusing back together by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I've talked to my foreign friends about this in the past. Their response has always been that English is really easy to learn. And, they say it's usually easier than their own language. It actually makes a great common tongue internationally because of that. Most youtube video tutorials are recorded in English. Most books are written in English. Almost all business is conducted in English. Webcam girls always speak in English even when they aren't from an English speaking country. The poster submitted his question in English and all of Slashdot is having this conversation in English. If you take all of that into consideration, English has been a great success as a language for bringing cultures together. Why fix what isn't broken.

  142. The key is to change English slowly by counterplex · · Score: 1

    Consider how the language has changed from Shakespearean times to now. It's taken about 400 years for the language to evolve to the point where it's practically a different language altogether. The change happened slowly in every aspect including constructs and vocabulary. I'd imagine instead of creating a language from scratch, adjusting English by slowly introducing artificial constructs and vocabulary would be the way to go. Not sure if it will remain anything more than a niche dialect of English but it's worth a try.

    --
    $x = ($x * 10) % 10 >= 5 ? 1 + int $x : int $x
  143. Critical mass by Livius · · Score: 1

    To respond seriously (heck, why not?), what a constructed language really needs is not particular grammatical or word-building features, but a ready-made collection of material, such as science books, engineering and medical textbooks, plays, novels, biographies, histories, etc. Plus have one of the larger versions of Wikipedia.

    One thing that Zamenhof did right with Esperanto was to use it for translation thereby allowing him to trouble-shoot the language and confirm that it actually worked, and to create a body of language examples which is a necessity if people are going to learn it.

    The weakness of English is the 500+ year divorce between the spoken and written languages. Though it does help that there are (essentially) only two versions of English spelling (correct spellings, and US spellings) even though English in Britain, South Africa, India, Australia, Barbados, Canada, etc. sound different enough to make a mess of any attempt at strictly phonetic spelling.

  144. The constructed language use in song by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It must meet the key criteria of being melodic when being sung and or yodelled.

  145. Esperanto already failed by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Good luck tho

  146. a new Greek by HughJazz · · Score: 0

    The only way a language will be used if it offers something the other languages don't offer. Esparanto failed because it really didn't offer much value over existing languages. In the modern era we learn English because English is the language of trade and culture. There is really nothing special about English other than self-reinforcing popularity but why change when we already have a language right? One of the few exceptions to this rule of popularity was the Greek language. During Hellenistic times, and well past it, people learned Greek because the language it had many concepts that other language simply didn't have words for. Greek only fell out of use in academic a couple of centuries ago because other languages adopted so many Greek words they didn't need Greek anymore (around 15 percent of English is actually Greek) So my suggestion for a useful language... a language optimized for scientific discourse just like Greek once was. The language should be far more coherent than current spoken language but not quite as precise as math. Get rid of annoyances like abuse of analogy. (everyone is analogized to Hitler as some point of their life). Get rid of duplicate words that mean same thing (like we don't have enough things to remember). Get rid of words like "much" and "largely" and "somewhat". Strict grammar and spelling rules with no exceptions (rather than i before e..sometimes). Make in mnemonic friendly and make it metric. (i.e. optimized for remembering and/or extrapolating meaning). Might even be a language one sings (since we know it can re-enforce memory) . If it was concise and useful enough that scientists started using it..., it would eventually trickle down to everyone else.

  147. Prune, prune, prune by mykro76 · · Score: 1

    Eliminate homophones and heteronyms. Strip back the synonyms. Make antonyms consistent. Remove homophenes that cause confusion for lipreaders.

    Re-establish phonetic spelling. Nation and national, ration and rational should NOT have a different sound for their first syllable.

    In short, undertake behaviour like Edward Scissorhands on this pile of faeces.

  148. Upgrade Path FTW by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This is the answer. The only way a new language will get any traction is if there is a fairly straightforward, attractive upgrade path from common English (or some other wide-spread language).

    Probably more useful than a simple language would be a world-wide common language. As in Bullworth, the answer is for us to all interbreed until we're brown...

  149. Marklar Marklar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Marklar

  150. English Sub-set by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Why not a simplified version of English for foreigners to learn and use? Why not let them have no exceptions for their version of English? Like for spelling and speaking. Who cares if they say "mooses" instead of "moose". Who cares if they conjugate their verbs correctly. (run runs runned) That would be perfectly easy to teach and learn.

    They would sound uneducated, but could communicate out to us, maybe their understanding would be poor, but they could at least learn to speak to us.

    Same with their writing, don't teach any of the exceptions. Just teach any good solid consistent rules, and leave the rest out.

    I am not sure how this would work, but call it International English, or Traveler's English.

  151. The Most Important Thing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The most important thing you'll need is a staggering misunderstanding of what human languages are and why people speak them. That's a prerequisite for any addle-headed project like this.

  152. Random thoughts by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    One property of many languages that I find interesting is the natural error correction. Words like their, there and they're violate this because they are easily mistaken. But most words are distinct enough in both spelling and pronunciation to survive mispronunciation and garbling on many levels. Consider the high degree of readability of words that have had all but the first and last letter shuffled. Both spoken and written language are very robust in terms of surviving errors.

    Ambiguity is a strength. Language must be fun. If you make a new language that has no ambiguity I think that it would not be widely adopted. It would be more like a programming language. There must of course been a limit. It would be interesting to measure the degree to which english and other languages are ambiguous. Without ambiguity, comedy, poetry and artistic expression would suffer.

    Each language is better at expressing some thoughts than others. French is often called the language of love. I consider English to be the language of commerce and war. I think that is one reason it has been so successful. I read recently how one language was better at describing the journey and another better at describing the destination. Find the strengths of existing languages and incorporate them into the new language. This is probably a task for people who are fluent in second languages, because it is hard to recognize the gaps in your native language.

    People love to change, combine and split apart words. If the language has some natural mechanism for creating new words from building blocks, or expressing many variations on simple base words, I think that would be a strength. It could easily go to far and make the language unwieldy. I think latin does this better than german, for example.

    In summary, keep ambiguity and keep low information density.

  153. Walk on your hands and curses fall flat by tepples · · Score: 1

    As many years as he’s walked on his feet, let him walk on his hands, and for the rest of the time he should crawl along on his ass.

    The problem with curses like this is that they would fall flat to people who actually do walk like that, such as Jeanie Tomaini or Spencer West or Jennifer Bricker or Rose Siggins. See also videos about housekeeping and Red Riding Hood and Wrecking Ball Boy. And compare Mark 9:45 in the Christian Bible, where Jesus gives a tip to BIID sufferers: "If your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off. It's better to enter everlasting life crippled than to have your two feet drag you to Gehenna."

    He should be transformed into a chandelier, to hang by day and to burn by night.

    Says the Beauty and the Beast fetishist: "I'm so turned on."

  154. proto conlang bowling shoe by epine · · Score: 1

    The layout of paths will seem right and comfortable only when it is compatible with the process of walking. And the process of walking is far more subtle than one might imagine.

    More at 120 Paths and Goals.

    This is basically the famous "make the buildings first, then add the paths later" meme, as told by the architect Christopher Alexander.

    A human language must comfortably accommodate the natural cognitive arcs of the human thought process. Ideally, it should fit habits of thought as comfortably as a hand fits a well oiled leather baseball glove, one that your forefather gave to his son (or your foremother gave to her daughter), stretching in an unbroken chain all the way back to human prehistory.

    What we need, then, is a good proto conlang that we can throw into a cultural stew pot to steep for a thousand years, accommodating to the human mind however it will. If by then it still seems rough, throw it back into the pot for another thousand years.

    The figure of merit, therefore, for a proto conlang is that it accommodates its future evolution gracefully, blooming like a rose quite unexpectedly, making everyone blush (2000 years from now) over how we ever got along without it.

    Instead, what most people busy themselves inventing is a proto conlang bowling shoe, a neat (but sweaty) communal object which fits anyone who happens to drop by to drop some pins, with no possibly confusion about which foot goes into which shoe, or how the lacing pattern goes if one the laces should happen to break—pouring over in their righteous zeal the following menu (among others) to divine the one true ineluctable escape from all things arbitrary:

    43 Different Ways To Lace Shoes

    What English already does: Riding Boot Lacing

    This method is for riding boots (motorbike or equestrian) whose sides are joined at the top and loosen near the ankle. The laces zig-zag from both ends and are tied in the middle.

    English knows from feet on the ground where the pressure goes.

    What weedy conlingers tend to moot: Hidden Knot Lacing

    By hiding the knot underneath, the result is an uninterrupted series of straight "bars" that looks particularly distinctive on dress shoes or sneakers alike.

    Conglingers know from eyes in the face that irregular knots and loose ends of human cognition are better spoked than spoken.

  155. Ook by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Ook, ook ook ook. Ook. ook. Ook!

  156. I could maybe help you design a language. by Qwertie · · Score: 1
    How to replace English? What an audacious question; English is fantastically well established. I think what we need to figure out first is how to make a constructed language succeed. As you can see from many of the comments here, that's really hard for one simple reason: most people don't believe one can succeed, not even geeks. Nor do very many people get excited about the prospect of replacing English. I think many people don't even want one to succeed. And when it comes to something like language, whose success is built upon network effects, that's a huge problem. (Also a problem is all the preconceived notions people have about language, like "all languages must be [highly] irregular" or "interlanguages can't succeed because they don't evolve" or "constructed languages can't be easy to learn because any popularity will cause them to instantly devolve into a mess like English" or "English is easy, so we don't need a constructed language" or "I don't like constructed languages because they are devoid of culture and soul" or "Different languages do not take different lengths of time to learn" or "Picking up a language that no one actually speaks is difficult, since it has no purpose." There is just so much BS to push against!)

    For a little while I started designing a language tentatively called Lengwish, the idea of which was to be an interlanguage for the Americas, that would use English and Spanish, and French and Portuguese to a lesser extent, as vocabulary sources, with other languages used in cases when the available vocabulary from these languages doesn't work well enough to due ambiguity or other issues. (Why "for the Americas"? Simple, it's just that I've studied Spanish for five years and would like to learn French.) I planned four purposes for it to serve:
    1. 1. To teach the basic grammar and vocabulary of English or Spanish. Learning a natural language is very hard work, especially at the beginning when you have no hope of being fluent until years later. In contrast, you can be fluent in Lengwish in less than a year. That means it's more fun, because you can feel yourself making progress quickly. Since its vocabulary is derived mainly from English and Spanish, it's a useful "stepping stone", especially for those that don't speak any European languages, to help learn one of the languages of the Americas. Since English is more popular than Spanish, the most common words tend to be derived from English rather than Spanish. In rare cases, a word is taken from other sources (Mandarin, Novial) when there is no simple English or Spanish word for a simple concept.

      Lengwish is designed to be very software-friendly, so that automated tools can help you learn it, through underlining of errors, instant translations, and "syntax highlighting".
    2. 2. To learn to learn languages. It is fairly well-known that a person can learn a third language more quickly if they already learned a second language, even if the second and third languages are not related to each other. Learning Lengwish can teach you some of the skills you will use to learn other languages, such as understanding grammar, and the ability to translate meaning rather than word-for-word.
    3. 3. To be a translation medium. Unlike English, Spanish or any other language with two thousand years of complicated baggage, Lengwish is clear and relatively unambiguous. There are thousands of English words and phrases that have more than one meaning. Consider this: what does the English term "free software" mean? "free" has two meanings, "free as in freedom" or "given without a charge" ("charge" itself has several meanings, but in this case I'm talking about a price or a fee). In some technical circles, "free software" specifically refers to "free as in freedom": freedom to see the source code, freedom to redistribute, freedom to modify; free software can be obtained "for free", but freedom is just as important. "freeware", in contrast, i
  157. No its EU english by labnet · · Score: 1

    -not my original work-
    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German (which was the other possibility). As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English."

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be> replaced with "f." This will make words like fotograf 20 per cent shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, alwil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the fourth yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no> mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    --
    46137
  158. Valar morghulis by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How about Dothraki? Just trolling.. :)

  159. English is already fragmented by hughbar · · Score: 1

    My ex is from Singapore, where they speak 'Singlish': http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S... The rhythm is different and the grammar is something like bits of Mandarin, loan words from Hokkien the most famous being kiasu: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K.... For example 'eat already?', 'don't want', it tends to sound a little harsh because it's very abbreviated.

    I think this is probably the future of English, that is it will win and lose at the same time. However, for a while, most of these variations should be roughly comprehensible. It's also a reason to try and keep some kind of 'standard core' as a fallback. In Singapore, once they hear my Brit accent, they slow down and use fewer local words.

    BTW Perl does suck, but the useful vacuum created is 'awesome', to quote the kids.

    --
    On y va, qui mal y pense!
    1. Re:English is already fragmented by sabbede · · Score: 1

      You're probably right, though American media exports have a powerful normative effect.

  160. Language for thinking by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I wonder what criteria there are that make a language a good tool to use for thinking about science or art or philosophy. Is it grammar, size of the vocabulary, or another factor? That would be interesting to explore, and to design a new artificial language based on that research. A new lingua franca for thinking about and communicating concepts of a specific mental discipline!

  161. What you are looking for is Sanskrit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What you are looking for is Sanskrit.

    But you all many not find it fashionable.

  162. Same writing as pronunicacion by mo0n_sniper · · Score: 1

    What I like about Romanian (my mother tongue), and I find really elegant, is that it has nearly the same writing as the pronunciation. We have 5 additional characters ,, and â,î which are the same sound but are different in writing. î is used at the beginning of the word and â inside. Other than that you basically write the word as you hear it.

  163. Late to the Party by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    My main tongue is Croatian. Even though I never went to a Croatian school, I can still read and write in my own language.

    How does this benefit anyone? Well I technically need no formal education to be literate. All I really need to know is how to pronounce each letter individually in a alphabet, after which, I'm ready to read and write within perhaps an hour or two.

  164. Maybe fun, but ultimately useless by sabbede · · Score: 1
    Constructing languages is nice as a hobby, but don't expect anyone to use them.

    If you really want to though, don't bother including features from non-Indo-European families. China and parts of SE Asia speak tonal-analytic languages that are so fundamentally different from the rest of the world that you can't mix features. Afro-Asiatic languages (including Arabic and Hebrew) contain sounds not present in any others, whereas Polynesian languages have very, very few (12 letter alphabets).

  165. Avoid ambiguity by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Make a language easy to parse by a compute.

    Avoid multiple usage of punctuation,
              for example
                      using : for enumeration or for date
                      using . for abbréviation or end of sentence
                      using - for minus, compound word, Hyphenation, or to link two names together.
                      using ' for quote, ellison or second.

    Avoid double usage of casing, for example for as first caracter of a sentence or for proper name;

    Be able to know easily if a word is
                  a proper name, city, ...
                  the name of a chemical compound (a way to create name from a normalize formula, or to find back the formula from the name)
                  a living organism
                  an abbreviation
                  a measuring unit (international or not)
                  a serial number (for example AB-123-XXX)
                  numbers (a way to create name from number and number from name)
    because no dictionary will contains all those words.

  166. Start With a New Writing System by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I have had the same thought on again off again for years. The first step would be to replace our current writing system of letters-words with a phonemes-glyphs type system were the legacy of English's origins is not so painful for reading-writing, Basically were sounds could be compounded into syllables.

  167. Language Requirements per Dijkstra by braindrainbahrain · · Score: 1
    "... natural language is wonderful for the purposes it was created for, such as to be rude in, to tell jokes in, to cheat or to make love in (and Theorists of Literary Criticism can even be content-free in it), but it is hopelessly inadequate when we have to deal unambiguously with situations of great intricacy, situations which unavoidably arise in such activities as legislation, arbitration, mathematics or programming. "

    Edsger Dijkstra - 1966

  168. keep English by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    it took me for ever to learn English, no one is replacing it with anything.

  169. Research some of the linguistic discussions by oldestgeek · · Score: 1

    James Cameron director of Avatar, Aliens, Terminator, Titanic et al is a (perhaps mad) genius. He created an artificial language for Avatar. There is an interesting article of a discussion he had on this subject. He knows a lot about artificial languages and languages in general. The discussion covered what makes a language "live"; a pool of active users interacting in real life, ambiguity... (I think) he considers Klingon an active language but not Esperanto. See if you can find the article. It's worth while given your interest.

    Pidgin is a language form that arise when many diverse workers are thrown together. Cajun is the form that arises amongst the children. Each has its own grammar that arises no matter what the mix of languages. Read about those before you try to invent your own. Computer languages are not the same as human languages although I attended a meeting of sysadmins on regular expressions and the discussion of examples sounded like s Gilbert and Sullivan song! :-)

    Finally, an old language joke: there was an international meeting of academics where they all spoke a common language, Yiddish! :-)

    1. Re:Research some of the linguistic discussions by oldestgeek · · Score: 1

      Old language joke error; the meeting was on Esperanto!

  170. Failed to catch on? by Scotland · · Score: 1

    100 000 to 2 000 000 speakers would disagree with you. Some/many schools use it (e.g. in China, Australia, the UK) as their 1st second language instruction because it's by far the easiest language to learn, which accelerates future language learning. If more schools/regions can be convinced of its scientifically-measured benefits to language learning, it could take off as purely a learning language. Google Translate even has it as one of its languages (and no, Klingon is not in that list).

    True, it's not currently the international auxiliary language of choice, but it's definitely *an* international auxiliary language of choice:
    - 32nd on the list of Wikipedias by article count (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Wikipedias)
    - stay for free in 90 countries with 1000+ hosts if you speak Esperanto (http://pasportaservo.org/)
    - yearly world congress with thousands of attendees, and yearly youth world congress with hundreds of attendees (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Congress_of_Esperanto)

    I'm still hopeful...

  171. Is english good enough... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    to convey thoughts and ideas without looking to another language to do the same thing? Why must there be a need for another language to replace english? No one seems to explain that.

  172. fix english by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Each character of the alphabet has it's own meaning...stack them in a line from left to right and each character changes the meaning of it's closest and most distant characters placed together in a sequence. There is a meaning that can be found behind, in front of, above or below every character. The alphabet follows the laws of physics...and it's a better ideology to head towards a continuation of English than making up a whole new language.
    The vowels and consonants work well...even in a computerized language that turns the alphabet characters into a dot, amount of time between dots sequence from the same hexadecimal 26 character alphabet and 0-9. That means you can build a alphabetical molecule...giving explanation for the molecule’s unique structure.

  173. Klingon by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    yIDoghQo'

  174. Not so easy by iMactheKnife · · Score: 1

    Easy to invent a language, hard to invent a real and useful language. Language is tied to the structure of the brain and its speech, visual and motive centers. Learning a useful language involves touching, experiencing and moving. Unless the parties to a verbal exchange share these fundamental experiences, communication is ambiguous. That's why languages evolve slowly over time along with populations, and they stagnate in isolated communities.

    There may be a hardwired language-based operating system in the human brain, something like "Snowcrash". Esperanto follows most of those rules. Klingon does not.

    As an interesting tidbit, new words and expressions tend to be invented and spread primarily by young teen females. Youwzah!

  175. Three letter words by bakey · · Score: 1

    I have been looking into an idea like this but I was thinking about reducing language to three letter words. Most languages use about 3,000 words to make usable language. My thought was take the shortest words from every language and reduce the language to the least words needed. French is an interesting language to look at as it uses less than a 1,000 words to be usable. Maybe a basic language with 600 words could be made workable.

  176. Constructed Language to replace English by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Personally I prefer Gaeilge (Irish), but I am biased. It is supposed to be a difficult language to learn, but there are only a few irregular verbs and because of its structure, it does not need so many different particles as English does because of initial mutation in its words. For example, the word 'an' depending on context can denote a question or can mean 'very' or 'the.' Another example is 'a' which depending on context can mean 'to' 'his' 'her' or 'their.' You do not even have a yes or no in Irish since all you do is repeat the verb in a negative or positive form in order to give a positive or negative answer. Also it is very clear if you are talking about someone or to someone because of the vocative case.

    Examples:

    Tá Peadar ansin. Peter is there. Dia Dhuit a Pheadair! Hello (lit God to you) Peter.

    An gcreidim é sin? Do you believe that? Creidim yes, I believe; Ni chreidim No, I do not believe; an madra the dog; an-lan very full.

    a bhia his food; a bia her food; a mbia their food; a dhéanamh to do.

    The spelling is very regular unlike English but it does have some problems. For example, the verbal nouns are pretty irregular and the adjectives are confusing (or at least they are to me) and you really have to know how to know the declension of your nouns.

    So, for me a good constructed language would have a lot of features of Gaeilge, such as regular spelling, in the Latin script, few particles, few irregular verbs and initial mutation of words. It would be improved by regular verbal nouns, simplified declension of adjectives and simplified declension of nouns. I would also get rid of genders.

    My apologies to the Irish language and any linguists if I got anything wrong.

    Hope this helps.

    Cheers,

    Peter Dempsey

  177. 2014 scholarly book on language by labreuer · · Score: 1

    Read David Braine's Language and Human Understanding: The Roots of Creativity in Speech and Thought[1]. Unless you think programming languages have anything to do with creativity and especially, in breaking wholes into parts (fun quotations of Bertrand Russell and Aristotle in the first two pages of de Koninck's "The Unity and Diversity of Natural Science"[2]), you need a whole different kind of language. The difference is between a structurally closed language which is 'dead' (Interpretive Social Science: A Second Look[3], 12; Conflict of Interpretations: Essays in Hermeneutics[4], 79), and a structurally open language, which has that critical informality that allows one to explore new territory that the language was not 'designed' to address. Finally, from Jacques Ellul's The Humiliation of the Word[5]:

    Meaning is uncertain; therefore I must constantly fine-tune my language and work at reinterpreting the words I hear. I try to understand what the other person says to me. All language is more or less a riddle to be figured out; it is like interpreting a text that has many possible meanings. In my effort at understanding and interpretation, I establish definitions, and finally, a meaning. The thick haze of discourse produces meaning.

    All of intellectual life (and I use the word "all" advisedly), even that of specialists in the most exact sciences, is based on these instabilities, failures to understand, and errors in interpretation, which we must find a way to go beyond and overcome. Mistaking a person's language keeps me from "taking" the person—from taking him prisoner. (19)

    Anyone who tries to circumvent the above (eliminating all ambiguity everywhere) is doing violence to creativity and humanity.

    [1] http://www.amazon.com/Language...
    [2] http://www.u.arizona.edu/~aver...
    [3] http://www.amazon.com/Interpre...
    [4] http://www.amazon.com/Interpre...
    [5] http://www.amazon.com/The-Humi...

  178. English by tverbeek · · Score: 1

    Only %1% can replace %1%.

    --
    http://alternatives.rzero.com/
  179. Simplified Technical English by reynols · · Score: 1

    English being a de facto international language, as has been thoroughly pointed out, might be something to start with. Simplified Technical English, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S..., is used by various government agencies to remove some of the ambiguity of English. While it and similar efforts may or may not be sufficient as an everyday language, it is an idea to consider.

    You should also include these sites as a source of ideas and to see some of what has already been done, http://conlang.org/, http://omniglot.com/

  180. Start by looking at common second languages. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If you have to learn a language, why not learn a real one that already exists, and is used by peoples where the food is great and weather is nice?

    Barry Farber has a book called "How to Learn Any Language" - he describes Indonesian as the easiest language to learn since it was used by Malay traders for centuries, and became the primary second language for people in what is now Malaysia and Indonesia - Malaysian being Malay with English, and Indonesian being Malay with Dutch words. Unlike some other Asian languages, it has no tones, and uses the latin alphabet. Like other Asian languages, it is not very inflected, so there are less verb forms and declensions like we might find in Romance, Slavic, German, or Latin type languages.

    Since it is the second language of so many, it might be less prone to evolutionary variances.

    It is easy and fun to learn, and sounds exotic to the English ear since it has basically nothing in common with English.

  181. Before you try to invent a universal language by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    1. Study linguistics -- there is a huge body of research out there on linguistic universals which you would need to learn about before starting an engineering/ programming effort like this. Would you try to come up with a new programming language without first learning any of the principles involved?

      2. Start with syntax: over half of the world's languages use the order Subject - Object - Verb. English uses Subject - Verb - Object, but speakers over a millennium ago used Subject - Object - Verb. Spanish often uses Verb - Object -Subject. Which order would you choose? -- as this question just showed, when English speakers ask a WH-question, they mess up the whole syntax by moving the WH-phrase to the beginning of the sentence, in this instance producing the order Object - Auxiliary-verb - Subject - Main Verb. Chinese and lots of other languages don't do this: they just put a WH-word in the place being queried. The inventor of Esperanto used European languages as his base, but such a Eurocentric effort leaves everyone else out in the cold.

    3. Vocabulary: There is no universal lexicon. Speakers of all languages use/invent words for thing/actions/qualities that are culturally relevant to them. The world is not (yet -- thankfully!) culturally homogeneous, so there is no way to have a uniform vocabulary (maybe when 1984 finally rolls around, we can). The father of modern Hebrew tried to determine what the vocabulary would be by compiling a dictionary, but half of the words in it were never used.

    4. Just wait a few years -- Chinese will replace English as the dominant world language by 2035, and eventually even English will be written in Chinese characters, just as Japanese and Korean have been for centuries (and they are not even related to Chinese).

    1. Re:Before you try to invent a universal language by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The inventor of Esperanto used European languages as his base, but such a Eurocentric effort leaves everyone else out in the cold.

      The situation is not so bad, since the alternative seems to be English, or, failing that, French or Spanish, all of which are "Eurocentric" languages. If you make absolute cultural and linguistic neutrality a firm requirement, then no natural language is suitable. You have to go with an a priori conlang that absolutely nobody will find familiar. I don't think that's a practical solution.

      Also, if you want to talk word order, Esperanto is very flexible in that regard thanks to Zamenhof's decision to include an accusative case. You can use SOV, SVO, VOS, OVS, whatever you like, and while it may sound odd to another Esperantist, it's perfectly comprehensible.

      Eventually even English will be written in Chinese characters, just as Japanese and Korean have been for centuries (and they are not even related to Chinese).

      Frankly, I don't see that happening, since latin-based alphabets are so much easier to work with on computers, and computers will very likely be our standard means of translation into the foreseeable future. Trying to write English in Chinese characters would only serve to confuse both English speakers and Chinese speakers with little practical benefit. Most people would probably just learn the other language instead of trying to mash them together.

      Korean is mostly written in Hangul, BTW, and the remaining Chinese characters will probably fade in influence rather than increase.