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Kim Jong Un Claims To Have Cured AIDS, Ebola and Cancer
jones_supa writes: North Korea has created a wonder drug which not only cures AIDS, but also eradicates Ebola and cancer — at least, according to the latest proclamation from the country's news agency. Their announcement says the miracle cure consists of ginseng grown from fertilizer and rare earth elements. The drug's website cites a medical study in Africa where the product was tested on HIV-positive patients. It records that every single participant in the trial noted an improvement, with 56% being completely cured and 44% noting a considerable improvement in their condition. Among other benefits, the North Korean scientists also revealed that the drug is capable of curing a number of cancers, but did not provide details of the medical trials which support this claim. It's also good to remember that the state has previously claimed that Kim Jong Il invented the hamburger.
This should be the theme of the next direct-to-video film
Gently reply
Like a fly on shit!
Snake oil and Cyanide .
And nobody has ever filed a complaint after being treated with it.
He rocks! I take back everything I've said about him.
Believable
Unicorn blood is well know to stop a person from dying, no matter how sick or injured. Pretty convient that N. Korea just so happens to invent a miracle drug just three years after finding a unicorn.
...because Kim Jong Un is full of it.
The medicinal herb also cures diabetes and morbid obesity; just look at the chiselled energetic body of the leader!
You can get rid of all kinds of infectious diseases simply by starving your cities to the point where there aren't enough able-bodied people left to transmit the disease to each other.
And most cancer can be cured by lowering your country's life expectancy to under the age where those cancers start to form.
So look at the bright side, North Korea!
If I have to go to North Korea I think I'll take my chances without that drug. (That is assuming it works, And I don't think it's quite the right time for this broken clock to be right.)
Any insufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
I also cured AIDS, Ebola and Cancer. What are the chances?
Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
for the rest of the world
Actually being sold in NK. It's hard to believe they have said that and easy to picture a scam involving the three websites on the post. I give the guy no credibility, but if people continue dying after the miracle drug, how is he going to explain?
I wonder if his own propaganda department is trying to be insubordinate by making claims that are so fantastic and provably false. A claim like this is likely to be widely discredited within N. Korea, as everyone who dies of one of these diseases is proof against the claims. His PR people have to know that, so why make the claim in the first place? My suspicion is that they actually want The claims to be proven false, and for Kim Jong to be discredited. Active insubordination without having done anything they can, or will, be executed for.
I wish I had a good sig, but all the good ones are copyrighted
Many sit back and laugh at this. I merely find it a rather obvious parallel between the insanity that is North Korean science and the insanity that is painted as acceptable in the worlds most popular religions.
Both can be equally delusional, and for the same reason. Outlandish claims thrive in the absence of facts and evidence. I find the claims of Kim Jong Un no more ridiculous than a miracle healer acting on behalf of a deity.
Praise Jesus!
Here is how I would do it. First, load up several million thumb drives with movies and TV shows offering a view of life as it is lived today on the outside. Nothing American, just about how the other Koreans live in the free part of the country. The thumb drive is already established as an underground form of communication in NK, but up to now they are being smuggled a few at a time across the Chinese border.
Now drop them into North Korean cities from high-flying, undetectable B-2s. It won't take long for freedom to ring.
http://www.wired.com/2015/03/n...
At least put this story on idle or something. Some dictator claiming stupid shit is hardly new, and it's certainly not something anyone needs to concern themselves with.
I mean c'mon, most of the community know that the moron lie to his people all the time.
Eventually he won't be able to hide the truth when access to communication will be more and more easily available and his "realm" will eventually revolt and head straight into a civil war. But until then, he could blather he fucked the president dog to show dominance for all I care.
Elok
That would really be something if NK cured that.
Kim Jong Un is the Hamburgler!
Maybe Dice can hire Kim Jong Un to fix Slashdot.
He did "cure" them...with a bullet in your head...you no longer have, AIDS, cancer, TB, MERS, you name it...you no longer have it...you are DEAD!
$180,000 injected into the bloodstream.
Unfortunately for him, they still haven't cured gout.
... the cured the sick using acute lead poisoning of the multiple entry type.
Many people believe that carrot juice and fruit juice diets are a cure to cancer and other deadly illnesses.
Maybe he just spent a little too much time on the Internet!
And that is different than the US Congress declaring climate change doesn't exist?
You have AIDS? You know what the punishment is, right? WOW, I feel better now. Must have been the ginseng.
... just infect Kim with AIDS and Ebola, then cure him ... as for cancer, some additional radioactive contamination might do ... ... oh, right, they'll just spend it on their military instead ... after all, for what does Kim need a people?
I guess once they've proved it works, they'll be able to sell it to the whole world, finally taking care of their people's hunger problem
That will teach you imperialistic scum to doubt the brains of the Best Korea in the world. Our glorious leader has once again gone above and beyond to help the entire world out. Praise be unto him and his generosity. Next he shall resurrect dinosaurs and build a FTL drive for space travel!
They could execute somebody many times and he'd survive.
Here comes 5 times death by beheading!
Kim Jong has discovered that obesity is a gift from god!
Their announcement says the miracle cure consists of ginseng grown from fertilizer and rare earth elements.
They misspelled "bullet".
Don't waste your vote! Vote for whoever you want, unless you live in a swing state it won't matter anyways
You have to give North Korea credit. When the US government lies or distorts the truth it is never funny. When Russia, China, the UK, and all the rest of them (except that Iraqi Information Minister - that guy was 'the bomb') lie it is likewise tragic not comic. North Korea? Comedy gold! Those guys make up some of the funniest shit. Keep it coming DPRK.
.... now he should turn his attention to obesity.
Supreme Fearless Leader Mr. Big should be more careful who he parties with.
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
Crystal meth is widely given out (especilly in the bad years) to starving people in North Korea, often enough as a curte-all. It helps keep the hunger pangs at bay if nothing else.
If video games influenced behavior the Pac Man generation would be eating pills and running away from their problems.
Unfortunately the drug delivery system explodes half way to the patient... :P :P :P
I do not fail; I succeed at finding out what does not work.
Not drinking that KoolAid!
It won't be discredited anymore than any of the other miracles of religion are. For this kind of stuff to be discredited you need journalists with cameras and travel options.
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While these claims are probably ridiculous and with no merit, don't underestimate the speed at which medical research can progress under a regime which doesn't have morals holding the researchers back...
The nazis made significant progress.
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The way we felt.
-- A Brazilian in France flew the first heavier-than-air device!
-- Nope. We did first.
-- Yeah? Who did it?
-- Wright. Actually they are two brothers working together.
-- And where did these two brothers accomplished such an important feat?
-- Hmm, in the desert.
-- Ah,so? In the desert! Must be quite hard to get parts in the desert, uh?
-- They were, erm, very organized.
-- And why, if you don't mind me asking, didn't anyone know about that?
-- Because, erm, uh, it was a secret.
-- A secret?
-- Yeah, a military secret... you know, they were planning to invent bombs and the like.
-- Ah, yes, I suppose it's a natural next step...
-- Of course!
Maybe we discover next that the Wright brothers were taught by that Un guy...
Soon we'll hear how North Koreans can drive the cars they don't have on water without any external energy supply. Also, they'll produce, without any energy use, a form of air that's so nutritious that there will be no need for food thus traditional agriculture will be unnecessary.
I hate to give them any new ideas about productive research possibilities that might come from the curious US workers with garages and an advertising budget, but you never know.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. George Orwell
What the fuck have you done now? I was actually using that link at the end of each article to see comments and stuff.
Too bad they can't create a miracle drug for crazy dictators.
Conspicuously, Kim Jong-un offers no claim on how his Snake Oil affects vascular diseases leading to stroke (Kim Il-sung's demise) or cardiac arrest (Kim Jong-il's killer). If North Koreans (and the world) are lucky, he won't find a cure for those ailments.
Have gnu, will travel.
Well, to him personally at least.
They do seem to know the difference between the Rod of Asclepius and the Caduceus, so at least they have that over the Americans ;-)
people believe wrestling drama is actually for real. So let's give that some coverage as well.
No, not curing it...
-- "At Microsoft, quality is job 1.1" -- PC Magazine, Nov. 1994
Obama claims to have the most transparent US government in history, to have healed racial divides, and that after the election he'll let Russia do whatever the hell Putin wants. One out of three ain't bad.
I think this reaction is adequate... http://img.4plebs.org/boards/t...
I'm not so sure a lead injection into the skull qualifies as a cure, nor as an improvement in condition.
Try again, North Korea!
The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
I think you'll find his miracle cure more closely resembles a bullet.
"Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife
Congrats!
Try beat that David Cameron, you fucking assclown.
AS opposed to the united states of kleptocrats, of course.
The title is wrong: It seems that North Korea do not claim Kim Jong Un himself invented it.
This is a relevant point because propaganda previously presented Kim Jong Il as a scientist, a poet, an inventor, and whatever
president caused ebola.
Kin Shorty Yo Yo Pants can't be fixed. The boy not only slipped his anchor his brains obviously fell out his exit portal.
Enough said.
The hamburger, or a cure for AIDS can be done by anyone, but it will end up being the property of whoever has the most lawyers and lobbyists. So who's better off, us or them?
Why is Snark Required?
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I'm guessing that the ginseng was grown in the NK unicorn lair.
North Korea is exactly what I imagine happening if someone ever appointed Kayne West as leader of a country.
He cures them with a firing squad .... no less effective at eliminating people with the disease than a real cure but a little more final than you'd want.
Obligatory xkcd.
Its amazing how mass genocide can sure people of their ills.
I doubt it is enough to cope with certain San Luis Obispo 1990 or so pizza (via one place and driver in particular). This driver M that did what's related below later advanced to manager at the popular regional chain.
The driver in question was heard bragging off duty. Someone brought up cooks that spit in the soup, and he went on to explain that if someone gave him a hard time or a poor tip on a delivery, he'd make a excuse to run back to the truck, stick a finger in the back of his pants, and put something extra under the pepperoni. I was around in one case where it happened. One in a group of students had received ad inserts in a mailing with a two for one special. The ad didn't say only with coupon or anything like that, only an end date for the promotion. About a week later, the students ordered again and grumbled some at being charged twice what they'd expected, being asked for a coupon which they didn't have. But they didn't refuse the order, just as they paid, I heard the driver say he had to go get change. He took the pizza pouch with him. Later one of the students said there was sh*t under his pepperoni, and he wasn't going to eat any more pizza. None of the others believed him, in spite of he being quite insistent. It was about a year later that M the driver was heard talking about what he did. The town is small enough that the person that overheard the conversation not only knew who he was, but which place he worked for.
If this new miracle cure was also a truth serum....
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He explodes when he turns 60?
But it would kinda explain his ... size. He's not overweight. Just full of it.
He explodes when he turns 60?
But it would kinda explain his ... size. He's not overweight. Just full of it.
He explodes when he turns 60?
But it would kinda explain his ... size. He's not overweight. Just full of it.
He explodes when he turns 60?
But it would kinda explain his ... size. He's not overweight. Just full of it.
He explodes when he turns 60?
But it would kinda explain his ... size. He's not overweight. Just full of it.
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