Slashdot Mirror


Wi-Fi Router's 'Pregnant Women' Setting Sparks Vendor Rivalry In China

colinneagle writes: When one Chinese technology vendor, Qihoo, launched a new Wi-Fi router with a safety setting for "pregnant women," a rival vendor took offense to the implication that their routers might be dangerous. Xiamo, which also sells Wi-Fi routers, took to its page on Chinese social media site Weibo to denounce Qihoo's pregnant women mode as a "marketing tactic," and clarify that "Wi-Fi usage is safe."

Zhou Hongyi, chief executive and president of Qihoo, acknowledged in a statement to the South China Morning Post that there is no evidence supporting claims that Wi-Fi routers pose a risk for birth defects. But he said the company is appealing to consumers' beliefs, whether they are supported by science or not.

"We are targeting people who are afraid of radiation," Hongyi said. "We aren't scientists. We haven't done many experiments to prove how much damage the radiation from Wi-Fi can cause. We leave the right of choice to our customers."

130 of 207 comments (clear)

  1. Illogical by MSG · · Score: 5, Insightful

    "We aren't scientists. We haven't done many experiments to prove how much damage the radiation from Wi-Fi can cause."

    If you haven't done any experiments to prove how much damage WiFi can cause, then how do you know that your APs are safe?

    1. Re:Illogical by ArcadeMan · · Score: 5, Funny

      He knows because their routers have a "pregnant women" setting. Didn't you read the article?

    2. Re:Illogical by erice · · Score: 4, Informative

      "We aren't scientists. We haven't done many experiments to prove how much damage the radiation from Wi-Fi can cause."

      If you haven't done any experiments to prove how much damage WiFi can cause, then how do you know that your APs are safe?

      More precisely: even if you accept that WiFi damages unborn children, how can you be sure that "pregnant women mode" reduces the danger in any meaningful way if you have not done any experiments?

    3. Re:Illogical by Drewdad · · Score: 4, Funny

      Insert obligatory dihydrogen monoxide reference.

    4. Re:Illogical by suutar · · Score: 4, Insightful

      He doesn't. He's appealing to beliefs, whether supported by science or not - first, the belief that wifi radiation can be dangerous, and second, the belief that his widget is safer than the competition.

    5. Re:Illogical by OrangeTide · · Score: 1

      Seems just as likely that non-ionizing radiation from a Wi-Fi router causes hyper-intelligent babies. I mean if nobody is going to do any experiments before they open their mouths there is really no limit to the amount of speculation.

      --
      “Common sense is not so common.” — Voltaire
    6. Re:Illogical by Austerity+Empowers · · Score: 1

      I've added checkbox (that can't be unchecked) that says "Disable Squirrel Grinder".

      I've done no research to prove how many other web pages grind squirrels, but as long as the checkbox on my webpage is checked, I can assure you that my webpage does not grind a single squirrel.

    7. Re:Illogical by drpimp · · Score: 1

      It's probably for marketing or CYA nonsense, but they failed. If they were smart they would have marketed it as "Pregnancy Mode". Enabling this mode will increase the chances of having a boy. In China I think this would be a genius marketing scheme.

      --
      -- Brought to you by Carl's JR
    8. Re:Illogical by Kythe · · Score: 1

      Actually, the word "fraud" came to mind. But yes, "illogical", too.

      --

      Kythe
    9. Re:Illogical by ThatsDrDangerToYou · · Score: 1

      That's odd. My router only has an "impregnate women" setting.

    10. Re:Illogical by bondsbw · · Score: 1

      Yes I did. I still don't see how it can tell whether the person using it is a pregnant woman.

      --
      All my liberal friends think I'm a conservative, all my conservative friends think I'm a liberal.
    11. Re:Illogical by sjames · · Score: 1

      More likely, it turns on a soothing green light.

    12. Re:Illogical by hambone142 · · Score: 1

      My router has electrolytes.

      Electrolytes are good.

    13. Re:Illogical by Krishnoid · · Score: 1

      They haven't done many experiments. The ones they performed, they did by ... decreasing the gain until a Raspberry Pi inside a cadaver lost connectivity? That sounds plausible, right?

    14. Re:Illogical by David_Hart · · Score: 1

      Browndo has electrolytes...

    15. Re:Illogical by msauve · · Score: 1

      1. Build cheap WiFi AP with poor output/range.
      2. Market as "pregnant woman mode."
      3. ???
      4. Profit!

      --
      "National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity." - Celine's First Law
    16. Re:Illogical by eulernet · · Score: 1

      If you haven't done any experiments to prove how much damage WiFi can cause, then how do you know that your APs are safe?

      It's easy: their routers are assembled by children.
      Since they have no health problems, it's obvious that the routers are also safe for pregnant women.

    17. Re:Illogical by tlhIngan · · Score: 2

      He doesn't. He's appealing to beliefs, whether supported by science or not - first, the belief that wifi radiation can be dangerous, and second, the belief that his widget is safer than the competition.

      I'd say the competitor has poor marketing.

      With that "pregnant woman" setting, I'd go and say "My router is much safer than theirs. Theirs emits dangerous wifi - so dangerous they have to put in a pregnant woman setting to prevent their wifi from hurting your unborn child. Our wifi doesn't need that setting as it's inherently safer and won't hurt your unborn child!"

      After all, it can go either way - either admit their setting is better. or trash their setting as evidence they need it, while yours doesn't.

    18. Re:Illogical by felixrising · · Score: 1

      Sounds like "Grounding" or "Earthing". Pseudoscience dressed up for marketing as real science to people who lack any understanding for a product that does nothing but earn some money.

    19. Re:Illogical by TsuruchiBrian · · Score: 1

      I don't think we want hyper-intelligent babies. They would probably talk back a lot and roll their eyes more often when you talk. Sass-mouth is already at epidemic proportions.

    20. Re:Illogical by TsuruchiBrian · · Score: 1

      Fraud implies a level of intelligence on the part of the perpetrator that I'm not convinced exists yet. It's quite possible this incident was intentionally deceptive, and therefore fraudulent, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility that the people working at this company aren't just really fucking stupid.

    21. Re:Illogical by Platinumrat · · Score: 1

      It's actually a brick, tastefully wrapped in gold foil.

    22. Re:Illogical by TsuruchiBrian · · Score: 1

      In fact, it actually seems as though the routers instill a strong work ethic...

    23. Re:Illogical by squiggleslash · · Score: 1

      Yeah well, I'm still not buying it, I must prefer the dual band one I have which is guaranteed not to radiate asbestos on the 2.4GHz frequency.

      --
      You are not alone. This is not normal. None of this is normal.
    24. Re:Illogical by idontgno · · Score: 1

      I'm going to go one step beyond.

      I'm going to market a homeopathic router. Radiated power measured in femtowatts, properly diluted with open air and succussed* correctly, will have an effective wifi range measured in light-years. I figure a good 30C dilution will work fine.

      (BTW, if the user doesn't get the proper range from the device in use, it'll be because they didn't hit the router correctly.)

      Problem, wifi router market?

      --
      Welcome to the Panopticon. Used to be a prison, now it's your home.
    25. Re:Illogical by jeffmflanagan · · Score: 1

      >If you haven't done any experiments to prove how much damage WiFi can cause, then how do you know that your APs are safe?

      Because they know that standard APs are safe..

      >. But he said the company is appealing to consumers' beliefs, whether they are supported by science or not.

      They know that they're marketing to delusional people. It'll probably improve their sales.

    26. Re:Illogical by garlicbready · · Score: 1

      But it goes all the way to 11 ...

    27. Re:Illogical by youngone · · Score: 1
      Yes, quite.

      We had to have this very conversation with several excitable mothers at my children's primary school a few years ago. There was a sudden demand that all Wi-Fi be turned off because it would turn the children into mutants, (or something).

      Fortunately at a meeting called to discuss the issue one of the fathers, who may have been a electrical engineer, explained the safety issues in such simple terms that even the homeopathic medicine users couldn't refute him, and they lost the vote about 50 - 3.

    28. Re: Illogical by oobayly · · Score: 1

      They're injecting the dog meat? That's horrific, I thought they were only eating it.

    29. Re:Illogical by camperdave · · Score: 1

      Sounds like Mythbuster methodology to me.

      --
      When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
    30. Re:Illogical by kmoser · · Score: 1

      That setting emits an extra strong dose of radiation to sterilize any fertile women standing nearby, thereby preventing them from getting pregnant. Problem solved!

  2. Safe Who Knows by ZombieBraintrust · · Score: 1, Insightful

    We are targeting stupid poor people. I'm not a doctor. I haven't done experiments to see if my elixir works. We leave the right of choice to our customers.

  3. Not What I Thought It Meant by ranton · · Score: 5, Funny

    I originally thought the warning meant pregnant women are dangerous.

    --
    -- All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. -- Edmund Burke
    1. Re:Not What I Thought It Meant by Pascoea · · Score: 1

      I was thinking it had a "pregnant woman" setting somehow related to the new Dash Button that orders ice cream and fried chicken at frequent random intervals.

    2. Re:Not What I Thought It Meant by arth1 · · Score: 1

      I thought it was a button that changed the SSID to "Pregnant Women".

    3. Re:Not What I Thought It Meant by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      I had the idea it made your sperm swim better and therefore increase the odds of pregnancy

    4. Re:Not What I Thought It Meant by Penguinisto · · Score: 1

      I originally thought the warning meant pregnant women are dangerous.

      Depends on which Trimester we're talking about...

      --
      Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
    5. Re:Not What I Thought It Meant by Coren22 · · Score: 1

      I do recall my Ex being pretty dangerous during the actual delivery.

      --
      APK likes to ask for responses to the same things over and over. Maybe he just likes the responses?
    6. Re:Not What I Thought It Meant by bobbied · · Score: 1

      Dill pickles... Don't forget them....

      --
      "File to fit, pound to insert, paint to match" - Aircraft Maintenance 101
  4. The blue LEDs on the front of the router emit... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative

    ...more and higher energy radiation than the wireless LAN antennas. Just FYI.

  5. Placebo effect? by valinor89 · · Score: 1

    Hongyi said. "We aren't scientists. We haven't done many experiments to prove how much damage the radiation from Wi-Fi can cause. We leave the right of choice to our customers."

    I guess the setting does absolutely nothing then.

    1. Re:Placebo effect? by Flavianoep · · Score: 2

      He is still waiting for the Q2 sales figures to assess the effects of 'Pregnant Women' mode.

      --
      Linux is for people who don't mind RTFM.
  6. It just makes the router worse. by jandrese · · Score: 3, Informative

    The description makes it sound like they just cut the Tx power on the router by two thirds when you enable the mode, which means it will just have a much shorter range. Even better: This would only help if the woman stayed near the router, she's going to get a lot more "radiation" from her laptop, since it has a similar radio and of course is much closer to her. Even if the science were sound, this wouldn't work. It's both dumb and pointless.

    --

    I read the internet for the articles.
    1. Re:It just makes the router worse. by rubycodez · · Score: 1

      Parting fools from money not pointless at all, I have a bigger demographic in mind with my idea, the "Testicular Safety Mode", because chicks love guys that can "cum like a porn star", I have spam proving it

    2. Re:It just makes the router worse. by Cochonou · · Score: 1

      You also have to take into account that the router is transmitting 24/7... whereas the laptop is closed when not used.

    3. Re:It just makes the router worse. by jandrese · · Score: 1

      Only if there is some other device on the network that needs data 24/7. For most people the router is going to go mostly idle once the laptop is closed because there's nothing for it to be talking to. The only thing it should be transmitting is the occasional beacon.

      --

      I read the internet for the articles.
  7. marketing by zlives · · Score: 2

    Xiamo should have just put an add that the "Pregnant setting" is for pussies.... o wait

  8. What about heat? by AndyKron · · Score: 1

    Where's the "warm up my coffee" mode? I need that sometimes.

  9. Me Chinese by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Me make router, make sure baby not look like flounder.

  10. What they didn't say... by Overzeetop · · Score: 1

    They're developing their own version with a switch that indicates full power, children present, and pregnant woman mode along with a power level LED. It will be wired completely independently of all wifi circuitry, thereby allowing you to reduce the power level LED without affecting the range or speed of the router.

    --
    Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
  11. Qihoo is dangerous! by penguinoid · · Score: 4, Informative

    The Qihoo router normally emits dangerous-sounding em radiation, by default. Best to avoid their routers, but if you're stuck with them be sure to enable the safe mode. Other companies' routers always run in safe mode, which is why they don't have that setting.

    --
    Don't waste your vote! Vote for whoever you want, unless you live in a swing state it won't matter anyways
  12. This router big rip off! by RevWaldo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hold up to wife's belly one full month! Still no baby!

    .

    1. Re:This router big rip off! by zlives · · Score: 4, Funny

      you are holding it wrong!!!

    2. Re:This router big rip off! by bobbied · · Score: 1

      I think he's holding the wrong thing myself if a baby is the desired destination...

      --
      "File to fit, pound to insert, paint to match" - Aircraft Maintenance 101
  13. Is this the one with the all-pink UI? by gweihir · · Score: 1

    Because that is frankly the only thing that could be done for pregnant women in a wireless router...

    Some understanding of the technology and science required though, as usual. Anybody that thinks in terms of "radiation" does not have that understanding.

    --
    Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
    1. Re:Is this the one with the all-pink UI? by rogoshen1 · · Score: 1

      Remember, this is China, so it would need to be a blue UI; a pink UI would be aborted before they even started UX testing.

  14. What about fan death? by LightStruk · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Stories like this make me wonder if anyone in Korea refuses to use a desktop or laptop because they have fans in them.

    1. Re:What about fan death? by CanHasDIY · · Score: 1

      You mean, like, Sudden In-fan Death Syndrome?

      I slay me.

      --
      An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in bacon and cheese
    2. Re:What about fan death? by Coren22 · · Score: 1

      They only refuse to sleep in an enclosed room with their fans running. It after all will suck all the oxygen out of an enclosed room....

      --
      APK likes to ask for responses to the same things over and over. Maybe he just likes the responses?
    3. Re:What about fan death? by Sardaukar86 · · Score: 1

      What amazes me are stories that Chinese medical practitioners routinely warn against 'fan death'. Not sure I'd want superstitious fools like that treating me for a health condition, regardless of their qualifications.

      --
      ..Mullah or Pope, Preacher or Poet, who was it wrote: "Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up"?
    4. Re:What about fan death? by weilawei · · Score: 1

      I thought it was fan usage in closed rooms.

      But I'm not Korean. I have no idea what their hangup is.

    5. Re:What about fan death? by bobbied · · Score: 1

      You mean, like, Sudden In-fan Death Syndrome?

      I slay me.

      Please do.. Only next time, before you hit send OK?

      --
      "File to fit, pound to insert, paint to match" - Aircraft Maintenance 101
    6. Re:What about fan death? by amRadioHed · · Score: 1

      I've never heard of anyone from China with that superstition. Do you mean Korean medical practitioners?

      --
      We hope your rules and wisdom choke you / Now we are one in everlasting peace
    7. Re:What about fan death? by Sardaukar86 · · Score: 1

      Ooops, you're quite right, my bad! Apologies to anyone I inadvertently offended. :(

      --
      ..Mullah or Pope, Preacher or Poet, who was it wrote: "Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up"?
    8. Re:What about fan death? by alvinrod · · Score: 1

      I bet you could make a killing selling fans advertised to not cause fan death there.

      There are probably a few people who fall for this nonsense that might even buy rocks that don't cause cancer.

    9. Re:What about fan death? by Zeroko · · Score: 1

      Rocks that do not cause cancer? You mean they removed all the radioactive isotopes? That would actually be pretty useful for some things.

  15. Re:three setings by stoned_ritual · · Score: 1

    I'm VERY aroused.

  16. Re:Wi-Fi is for Luddites. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    These "X is for Luddites" "Apping the apped appers" posts really make me long for the old days of "In Soviet Russia..." or "Does it run Linux". Hell, "OMG! Ponies!" was literary genius by comparison

  17. Re:Won't someone think of the children? by rogoshen1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    wish they'd make a router with 'epilepsy' mode, where it dims/disables all front lights. I mean short of the electrical tape option of course.

  18. Actually it increases the power by rhysweatherley · · Score: 2

    The power is actually increased, not decreased, by the pregnancy mode. This is to penetrate the womb and let the child surf the net to find a new set of parents to adopt them once born. New parents that aren't afraid of technology.

    1. Re:Actually it increases the power by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      The power is actually increased, not decreased, by the pregnancy mode. This is to penetrate the womb and let the child surf the net to find a new set of parents to adopt them once born. New parents that aren't afraid of technology.

      That'll be handy, because parents who are afraid of technology are really going to be freaked out by a kid who doesn't need a computer to pick up WiFi.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    2. Re:Actually it increases the power by david_thornley · · Score: 2

      I'm adding that to the list of superpowers I want.

      --
      "When you have eliminated the unacceptable, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truthiness" - Holmes
  19. For sale: Tiger-repelling rock by RyoShin · · Score: 1

    I think I'll take my business of Tiger-Repelling Rocks to China. And I even have data! I have carried my own Tiger-Repelling Rock for over 2000 hours without any encounter with a tiger. To my knowledge, no one I have given--er, sold one to has encountered a tiger.

    I'm sure I can find a priest who will bless my inventory as well, so people will be able to buy Holy Tiger-Repelling Rocks! Every person needs one, you never know when there will be a tiger!

    1. Re:For sale: Tiger-repelling rock by ZombieBraintrust · · Score: 1

      In fact everyone needs one for herd immunity.

    2. Re:For sale: Tiger-repelling rock by Actually,+I+do+RTFA · · Score: 3, Funny

      people will be able to buy Holy Tiger-Repelling Rocks!

      Buying holy items within a repressive communist government area? Check

      Making the "tiger rock" joke about a country that has at least two variants of tiger? Check

      --
      Your ad here. Ask me how!
    3. Re:For sale: Tiger-repelling rock by itsdapead · · Score: 1

      The ones that work best are made from real tiger testicles. If enough people buy them we'll never be bothered by tigers again...

      --
      In a survey of 100 programmers, 111111 thought that duck-typing was a good idea.
  20. Missed Opportunity by emorning · · Score: 1

    They should have also included a dial that goes to 11.

    1. Re:Missed Opportunity by MerlynEmrys67 · · Score: 1

      They did - Wall Buster mode.
      Wondering if Wall buster mode goes over the legal power settings for the router - would be interesting to see if they can import into the USA

      --
      I have mod points and I am not afraid to use them
  21. Asbestos by Cigaes · · Score: 2

    The real question is: is there asbestos in their router?

    1. Re:Asbestos by Swave+An+deBwoner · · Score: 1

      Uh oh. It's a repost, but a good one, please forgive me:

      "Granulated Sugar", "Naturally Fat-Free"
      http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/81FrZPL-AlL._SY679_.jpg

  22. Re:Wi-Fi is for Luddites. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    IN SOVIET RUSSIA, appers app YOU!

    I'm not a script, da.

  23. If they're really worried about radiation by satsuke · · Score: 4, Interesting

    If someone is really worried about radiation from wifi, they'd be well advised to not have _any_ wifi devices in the home, if not actually living some large distance from anyone else with same devices.

    They'd also want to avoid cell phones too..

    Actually, such a person would just become a hermit.

    1. Re:If they're really worried about radiation by Sardaukar86 · · Score: 1
      If I'm not mistaken, even the electrical cables in the walls of one's house broadcast EM radiation when in use. So with that in mind, electricity itself must be 'bad'.

      Let's go back to burning dung for cooking and lighting, the damage to our lungs from the fumes will be nothing compared to the health benefits we'll get from shutting off those goddamned commie electrons.

      --
      ..Mullah or Pope, Preacher or Poet, who was it wrote: "Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up"?
    2. Re:If they're really worried about radiation by bobbied · · Score: 1

      Naw, it's called a faraday cage, you can build one into your living room... Well, unless you are trying to get way from ALL radiation.... Then I'm not sure where you go for that... A lead lined room isn't going to work out well, under ground is not good.... Not to mention that it's going to get darn cold if you eliminate all thermal radiation....

      --
      "File to fit, pound to insert, paint to match" - Aircraft Maintenance 101
    3. Re:If they're really worried about radiation by Sardaukar86 · · Score: 1

      Thanks for the personal attack, it's always a nice way to ensure you are taken seriously.

      Thanks also for the science lesson; I am actually well aware there are different types of EM.

      My point was that people who fear EM don't know and don't care about the difference, so why would they take the 'risk' of the embedded wiring in their house any less seriously?

      Try not to make foolish assumptions so much in future, you might even manage to avoid coming across as a rude prick.

      --
      ..Mullah or Pope, Preacher or Poet, who was it wrote: "Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up"?
    4. Re:If they're really worried about radiation by Anonanonaon · · Score: 1

      Learning as much as one can about how living systems (like the cells and nerves in our bods), react to different influences allows us to make choices.

      Rather than the bullshit-yourself-for-comfort, head-in-the-sand (and fart loudly at everybody) approach, which is guaranteed to offer pretty much the worst level of protection, using applied knowledge is a pretty good, non-hysterical option.

      -Because, those who are loudly and belligerently opposed to the idea of electrosensitivity can be just as foolish and annoying as any hypochondriac.

      But when you do the work and collect the necessary knowledge, you can pick and choose the technologies to keep around your home, you can minimize their influences and keep your personal environment cleaner than it might otherwise be.

      I mean.., WD-40 might be toxic, but does that mean you live with rusty hinges? Or do you simply apply it with care and don't spray in on your dishware?

      In the instance of house wiring; you can get some unnecessary EM fields if you don't balance the cables correctly. This happens sometimes with improperly installed power outlets. A bit of knowledge applied and a pair of pliers can make a big difference without sending you back to the stone age.

      -Because despite the farting Thomases, there are compelling cases on record of adverse reactions resulting from doing things like sleeping in an unnecessary EM field.

      I understand why people get all religious about their materialism, and I know people get irrationally blindered when it comes to their addictions, and I know people would rather yell and holler when their egos feel slighted by any criticism they feel touches on their own choices. And I know all of that isn't going away any time soon.

      But I've done my homework and I think I'll follow my own nose on this stuff.

    5. Re:If they're really worried about radiation by Sardaukar86 · · Score: 1

      Please help me understand how castigating someone for their 'astounding stupidity' isn't a personal attack. Or do you simply prefer to bitterly snipe from obscurity?

      Were this a observation factual I think it unlikely I'd have the mental capacity to reply to you in this manner. Astoundingly stupid people don't tend to be able to string much of a sentence together in my (admittedly anecdotal) experience.

      I put it to you Mr. AC that you are just as likely to be Prune, butt-hurt about being called out for his or her unnecessary rudeness.

      Perhaps, if you disagree, you can provide some sort of explanation for why my original post still counts as 'astoundingly stupid'? It seems wilfully-ignorant of you to ignore the explanatory post I made in reply to Prune, suggesting you possess a degree of immunity to rational argument. Surprise me and prove me wrong, please.

      --
      ..Mullah or Pope, Preacher or Poet, who was it wrote: "Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up"?
  24. Is that router gluten free also? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    ( cause otherwise, I'm NOT buying. )

    1. Re:Is that router gluten free also? by bobbied · · Score: 1

      Why yes it is... And it's dairy free, fat free and low sodium. Oh, and the plastic is BPA free as well... No animals where harmed during testing... But if you want certified organic, we cannot help you there.

      --
      "File to fit, pound to insert, paint to match" - Aircraft Maintenance 101
  25. I own a qihoo router by nimbius · · Score: 5, Funny

    as a qihoo wireless model 32 router owner I can say this is being completely blown out of proportion. my router has 6 very clearly labeled settings besides 'pregnant woman' mode and the article mentions nothing about them. Qihoo users like myself typically prefer to keep the router in 'surly wombat' mode to ensure best communication with devices that may be situated between an agitated or unruly wombat (as mine typically can be.) When i have company over I might set the router on 'roger whittaker' mode, which enables it to automatically emit up to 44 different songs from mellow folk sensation Roger Wittaker. You can even control time of day with different settings...for example around dinnertime ill set the router to 'defrost-reheat' which increases power levels accordingly and allows me to thaw and cook up to 15 pounds of turkey in my living room. And i challenge anyone to find a better mode than 'depeche' mode, which activates both gloomy QoS and tortured soul packet conditioning.

    --
    Good people go to bed earlier.
    1. Re:I own a qihoo router by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Thanks for keepin' on truckin', nimbius, whoever you are.. Slashdot would be a poorer place without you & your ilk :-]

    2. Re:I own a qihoo router by Ormy · · Score: 1

      Congratulations, we have a winner.

  26. Technically all APs have a 'pregnant women' mode.. by kheldan · · Score: 3, Insightful

    ..and it's activated by turning the power switch to 'Off'.

    If it really worries you that much then unplug the damned thing from the wall, along with turning off your cellphone, and any other RF-enabled devices you may have. Toss your microwave oven into the trash. While you're at it line the walls, floors, and ceiling with aluminum foil (don't forget the door!) and ground it to a solid earth ground, forming a Faraday cage. Be sure to have 9 month supply of food and water on hand.

    --
    Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!
  27. Wi-Fi is for parenting apps. by tepples · · Score: 1

    Mothers of unborn babies use Wi-Fi to download apps related to pregnancy, such as My Pregnancy Today and I'm Expecting.

    Medical apps!

  28. Your little tadpoles by tepples · · Score: 1

    As if your little guys get out much.

  29. Call it "nice neighbor mode" by davidwr · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Or maybe "small apartment mode."

    If I could, I would configure my WiFi router to be smart about its transmit power:

    I would have a "low power" mode on the router so it could be "seen" within a relatively small radius, but it would increase power as needed to stay connected to a device once that device authenticated. Once all authenticated connections went out of range or disconnected, it would drop back to "low power" mode.

    --
    Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
    1. Re:Call it "nice neighbor mode" by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      If I could, I would configure my WiFi router to be smart about its transmit power:

      that seems like something you could do with a not so small shell script. does your router have shell access?

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    2. Re:Call it "nice neighbor mode" by gTsiros · · Score: 1

      don't they already do this? i suspect they do.

      --
      Looking for people to chat about multicopters, coding, music. skype: gtsiros
  30. As the saying goes in another culture by kanweg · · Score: 1

    A sucker is conceiving every second.

    Bert

  31. It's how the mode is worded by tepples · · Score: 1

    The problem is not the existence of a low power mode but the fact that it isn't called "Low power mode".

    [X] Low power mode
    Reduce the power of the gateway's Wi-Fi radio. This causes the radio to interfere less with other nearby devices and can limit ability to connect from outside a building or from a neighboring apartment. A weaker signal is also believed to reduce harm to an unborn child.

  32. Re:Won't someone think of the children? by omnichad · · Score: 1

    They do - It's a $300 router, but you can turn off activity lights with a button press:
    http://www.amazon.com/product-...

  33. Pregnant Women with Free Wifi sign? by Paco103 · · Score: 1

    This is the image that came to my mind when I read this heading.
    http://origin.funnymeme.com/wp...

  34. Basically WiFi with Sabbath mode then? by Anonymous+Psychopath · · Score: 2

    There's no scientific evidence to support that lighting a stove on Saturday for use on Sunday is better for the soul, or that having the light come on in the refrigerator when I open it Monday through Saturday is fine, but distracts me from god on Sunday. There are a lot of people that believe those things, so the manufacturer accommodates them.

    --

    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

    1. Re:Basically WiFi with Sabbath mode then? by weilawei · · Score: 1

      But God wants you to waste resources, create excess pollution, and hire labor to do trivial tasks for you (like pressing buttons), despite the fact that this will clearly bar them from receiving His grace.

      Yep, sounds about right for a religion.

      /I would think that a reasonable deity would prefer you be more efficient, not less. OTOH, a friend and I often have this discussion, and the conclusion is that very few people are so ultra-orthodox as to practice this sort of behavior.

    2. Re:Basically WiFi with Sabbath mode then? by macxcool · · Score: 1

      These are two very different things, aren't they? In the case of the routers we're talking about a claim that can be, and has been, tested scientifically. In the other case we're talking about something that science simply cannot speak to. Scientific knowledge is not the only type of knowledge. Science can only speak to a subset of reality.

    3. Re:Basically WiFi with Sabbath mode then? by vandamme · · Score: 1

      I think those people missed the update to their religion, which happened two millennia ago.

  35. Re:Baby Seal Friendly mode by Paco103 · · Score: 1

    You probably want a Sriracha mode on there too. It's my understanding that Sriracha makes everything better. Even Pizza Hut offers it as an option now.

  36. Re:If this were the UK.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    I'm sure there was a comment in there, but I'll be damned if I can find it in all the nonsensical text.

  37. There is another option by starkadder · · Score: 1

    You could move here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

  38. product safety labels by swell · · Score: 1

    Aren't you more comfortable knowing that your lettuce is 'gluten free'?
    You wouldn't want to drink beer without the 'lead free' label, would you?
    And your linens should definitely have the 'underwriters lab' approval.
    I surely hope your grapes have the 'no trans-fats' designation.

    Products have long had labels for consumer safety. Excessive use of similar terms, often for products that have no need of such claims, can undermine the usefulness of the labels that *are* important.

    --
    ...omphaloskepsis often...
  39. Re:Ximao has pregnancy setting all wrong by bobbied · · Score: 1

    it doesn't reduce the tx power - it firewalls pizza hut online ordering.

    No, no, it doesn't block them.. It prioritizes the traffic to the Pizza ordering sites higher... They are marketing to Women here....

    --
    "File to fit, pound to insert, paint to match" - Aircraft Maintenance 101
  40. Re:Amazing use of an unregulated market by bobbied · · Score: 1

    Tell that to the pigs..

    --
    "File to fit, pound to insert, paint to match" - Aircraft Maintenance 101
  41. Sitting on a goldmine by JBMcB · · Score: 1

    Submitting patent for "Male Enhancement" setting now...

    --
    My Other Computer Is A Data General Nova III.
  42. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  43. Wall Penetration mode by OldSoldier · · Score: 1

    Screw the pregnant women setting... tell me more about this "wall penetration" mode!

  44. "Granulated Sugar", "Naturally Fat-Free" by Swave+An+deBwoner · · Score: 1

    "Granulated Sugar", "Naturally Fat-Free": http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/81FrZPL-AlL._SY679_.jpg

  45. Re:Won't someone think of the children? by Swave+An+deBwoner · · Score: 1

    Or alternatively, cover them with a piece of electrical tape (nah, too sticky).

  46. Re:three setings by LordKronos · · Score: 1

    really if your router can truely penetrate walls then maybe “pregnant women” is actaully a useful setting... my router works the old fashioned way and bounces the signal off walls to get to the other rooms. very little penetration going on

    one of three possible things is true.
    1) your joke just whoooshed over my head
    2) the walls in your house are extremely dense
    3) you are extremely dense.

  47. Re:Try again by cfalcon · · Score: 1

    I mean, it's all files under unix. You just redirect your outputthere...

  48. Oh Crap! by Ol+Olsoc · · Score: 1

    Do NOT allow Jenny McCarthy to learn of this! This is probably the breakthrough in finding out what really causes autism! It's those damned routers!

    --
    The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
  49. Re:Won't someone think of the children? by omnichad · · Score: 1

    You mean like the person I was replying to already suggested? I think that option is well known.

  50. Dihydrogen monoxide is dangerous to children by drnb · · Score: 1

    Insert obligatory dihydrogen monoxide reference.

    Dihydrogen monoxide is dangerous to children. It is a leading cause of accidental death. Children should be supervised when immersed in it. And absolutely beware of electron flows when immersed, both children and adults.

  51. Re:Won't someone think of the children? by Swave+An+deBwoner · · Score: 1

    Yep, like that. My electrical tape must have been covering his comment and I didn't see it, sorry.

  52. uhh... by SuperDre · · Score: 1

    Actually, we still haven't got a clue as to what the longterm problems might be with Wifi.. There are studies which suggest it IS harmfull..
    Just think back, in the past they also said for decades, living under powerlines wasn't a problem, but now we do know it IS a problem...

    1. Re:uhh... by SuiteSisterMary · · Score: 1

      Actually, we still haven't got a clue as to what the longterm problems might be with Wifi.. There are studies which suggest it IS harmfull..

      Please link to peer-reviewed, reproducible tests and studies showing standard Wi-Fi routers produce harmful radiation.

      Take your time, we'll wait.

      --
      Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
  53. The Fairsley Difference! by TCiecka · · Score: 1

    This reminded me of a Mr. Show sketch:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
    (probably nsfw, ymmv)

  54. Re:Won't someone think of the children? by grep+-v+'.*'+* · · Score: 1

    It's not a router, but I've got a Onkyo amplifier that has lots of lights and doodads and of course an off switch. And an associated off LIGHT that turns on when the unit itself is turned off, and vice versa.

    It's among the stupidest things I've even seen. It does work correctly though, so I guess I'll give them that.

    --
    If the universe is someone's simulation -- does that mean the stars are just stuck pixels?
  55. Re:Wi-Fi is for Luddites. by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

    In Korea, only old people know those memes.

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  56. Doubtful it could be done via scripting by davidwr · · Score: 1

    What I had in mind was dynamic, real-time power adaptive power:

    The router starts in a user-defined low-power mode that was configured during the initial customer setup or manually re-configured at any later time.

    I get close enough to connect.

    It ramps up power just enough to give me maximum speed.

    As I move away from the router, it senses that it needs to increase power and does so.

    As I move closer to the router, it senses that and reduces power, but it doesn't drop it any lower than the pre-defined "low power mode."

    If more than one device is connected, it keeps the power as high as needed for the device with the weakest signal.

    To those saying "but if you move out of the range of the low-power signal and disconnect, you won't be able to re-connect unless another device is connected and by virtue of that connection, the router is still in a higher-than-low-power mode." This is true, and it is by design. As an option, the router could put a short delay in the power-reduction to account for short disconnections.

    --
    Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
  57. Monty Python's "Crunchy Frog" Skit Comes To Mind by Toad-san · · Score: 1

    And the competition would all advertise "Absolutely NO Frog or Larks Vomit In Our Product!"