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  1. Next: Hot-Rodding Your 1899 Stanley Steamer! on Overclocking the Super Nintendo · · Score: 4, Funny
    Get that mechanical marvel up to blazing 9 MPH by modding your valves!

    Next up: Adding neon to your Whitney Cotton Gin.

  2. Now if only the Chinese Goverment would pledge... on Chinese Portals Pledge More Self-Policing · · Score: 4, Insightful
    ...never to commit genocide against its own people or against Tibetans, then maybe people would give their desires "to clean up" the Internet a little more credence. What China's Communist government wants to clean up the most is its own image, be it genocide, the Tienamen Square crackdown, it's owngoing repression of Falun Gong, or the horrific treatment of political prisoners in the Laogai (aka "China's Gulag"). I'm sure that pornorgraphy is a far lesser concern.

  3. Can I get Tiny Reflective Mudflap Women... on Tiny Biodiesel Reactors · · Score: 3, Funny
    ...to put on my tiny biodiesel engine? That way all the other miniature tiny biodiesel trucks will know to blow their tiny horns as I pass...

  4. What an original title for Japanese Gaming Topic! on Land of the Rising Fun · · Score: 2, Informative
  5. More likely than Apple dropping OS X for Windows on Cringely Predicts Apple to Ship OS X for Any PC · · Score: 4, Informative
  6. Anonymous...unidentified...anonymity on Microsoft turns to U.S. for EU Antitrust Help · · Score: 2, Insightful
    "An anonymous reader writes...a memo written by unidentified government officials...according to a person close to the commission who spoke on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the memo."

    Is there anything that could possibly be more relaible than a story submitted by an anonymous reader about unidentified officials relayed by some anonymous person? That's about as iron-clad and trustwrthy as you can possibly get...

    Seriously, I bash Microsoft about as much as any Mac user, but that summary was so free of content that it might as well have been penned by the bureaucrats of the Neutral Planet on Futurama.

  7. Apple Provides SOME Legacy Support on Why Windows is Slow · · Score: 2, Insightful
    They just don't carry it s far back as Windows. Moreover, when Apple releases an OS upgrade, your old machine gets faster, not slower.

    The issue is deeper: OS X was designed to make the best operating system possible for users. Windows was designed to be the best operating system possible for extending Microsoft's monopoly. And the horrific problems plaguing Windows (the Registry, gaping security holes, malware, etc.) are all a reflection of the resulting fundamental design flaws.

  8. Prediction: They will build 1, at most on Automating Future Aircraft Carriers · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Britain and France will jointly build three new huge aircraft carriers which will be delivered between 2012 and 2014."


    No, they won't. Here's what will happen:

    • Plans for three joint aircraft carriers are announced with much fanfair.
    • After much grumbling, both the French and UK parliments, not quite yet absorbed into the antidemocratic structure of the Brussels Bureaucracy, approve construction of three aircraft carriers.
    • A year or so later, the keel for the first aircraft carrier is laid down.
    • One year into the project, and the first carrier is already six months behind schedule and 10% over budget.
    • Two years into the project, and the project is already a year behind schedule. The construction start date for the last carrier are moved out another year.
    • Three years in, and France, in the middle of lingering recession with negative GDP growth and continuing muslim riots, falls behind in payments. Work tmporarily halted.
    • Following the replacement of Blair's government with hard left Labourites, military expenditures come under additional budget scrutiny, eventually being raided to prop up the ever-increasing cost of National Health Care. But mutual consent, the third carrier is cancelled altogether.
    • A shipbuilder's strike delays construction another three months.
    • Pressed for funds due to increasing UK involvement in the Pakistani Civil War, construction of the first carrier is slowed still further, and the second piushed out another two years.
    • Flaws in the automation system cause an upward revision the number of staffers required for
    • The carrier is now three years behind schedule, and costs are already more than 50% over projections.
    • Suicide attack by the Albion Martyrs of Allah Bridge breaches the forward hull of the unfinished carrier. Compartmentalization system prevents ship from sinking, but fire control system malfunctions, spewing flame retardent foam everywhere but,/i> where the explosion occured. Launch delayed another six months.
    • French giovernment falls after Islamofascist organization bombs Notre Dame, bringing right wing government of Sabine Herod to power. Military spending temporarily increases.
    • Mired in its own recession, UK government asks France to contribute more to carrier construction. Second carrier pushed out two more years.
    • After a mere nine months in power, Herod government resigns after fourth week of nationwide strike results in more than 1000 deaths. Socialist communist government cancels all funding for second carrier.
    • Excessive government spending by France, Italy, and half the the rest of the EU causes Euro to collapse. Germany refloats the Duetschmark. Work delayed still further by inabaility to figure iut what French half of carrier costs should be paid in.
    • It's now 2017, and the sole supercarrier is finally launched. A half day into first sea trials, catostrophic software failure leaves the Thatcher-Chirac carrier dead in the water. It has to be towed back to port. Carrier is still unavalable when China launches disasterous attempt to seize Taiwan.
    • Japan and South Korea announce existance of own nuclear arsanals three days after China's fleet is sent to the bottom of the Staits of Formosa.
    • Islamic Republic of France declared, falls. French half of crew pulled off for home security duty during attempts to supress the gorwing Islamic rebellion.
    • Citing rising world tensions, UK military announces joint deal with US to create new class of aircraft carrier....

  9. In related news... on Videogames Used to Treat ADHD · · Score: 2, Insightful
    ...doctors are now prescribing doses of Jack Daniels as a cure for alcoholism...

  10. I need a fuel cell powered laptop... on Laptop Fuel Cells Coming Soon · · Score: 4, Insightful
    ...to run my copy of Duke Nukem Forever. By my estimate, we've been hearing about the imminent arrival of each for about the same length of time...

  11. The Domino Theory Confirmed! on Jupiter Gets New Red Spot · · Score: 5, Funny
    First one communist spot appears. Now, 300 years later, another one! At this rate, all of Jupiter will be communist in less than 40,000 years.

    It's up to us to rescue them. Thinking of the millions of innocent Jovians rotting away in their oppressive gaseous Gulags...

  12. "Why pass what you know is flawed?" on Senate Passes Patriot Act Renewal · · Score: 2, Insightful
    Um, because we live an imperfect world where 99.9% of all legislation is flawed and the result of numerous comrpomises between different factions because we don't live in a one party state?

    It must be nice to live in a Utopia where all the laws passed are fair and just, and that everyone in the nation agrees with them 100%. Let me know when you find such a place. Our flawed Republic is not it--only better than all the other alternatives.

  13. Hieronymous machine? on Quantum Computer Works Better Shut Off · · Score: 1
    Am I the only one who read that headline and thought of John W. Campbell's infamous Hieronymous machine? Instead of a circuit board, the machine would have a diagram of a circuit board...and still work.

    Naturally, no one has ever been able to reproduce Campbell's results. Campbell was a great science fiction editor, but a real crank when it came to crackpot psuedoscience.

  14. I doubt that price; Sony invested in IBMs Cell fab on PlayStation 3 Delayed, Over $800? · · Score: 4, Informative
    Remember: Sony, unlike Microsoft, is a hardware company, and it still owns its own chip fabs. In fact, its a direct investor in the IBM East Fishkill Fab where the Playstation processor will be made. That would suggest that Sony will be getting their Cell processors at pretty cost to cost.

  15. "Taking Security to the Next Level" on Ten Reasons to Buy Windows Vista · · Score: 4, Funny
    1. Security, security, security: Windows XP Service Pack 2 patched a lot of holes, but Vista takes security to the next level.

    So, instead of a wide open door with a 'PLEASE ROB ME!!!" sign taped to it, they've half closed the door and put up a sign that says "ALL OTHER THINGS BEING EQUAL, I WOULD PREFER THAT YOU NOT STEAL ALL MY BELONGINGS, IF THAT'S OK WITH YOU."

    When your starting from the gutter, the "next level" is only the curb.

  16. Standardize on one Language: Klingon on Does Company-Wide Language "Standardization" Work? · · Score: 1
    Once your competitors know you have 47 different ways to say "I Disembowl My Enemies And Consume Their Still Beating Hearts," they'll leave the market segment all to your firm...

  17. Greg Benford's Suggestion on Using Barges to Fight Global Warming · · Score: 2, Interesting
    He suggested seeding the relatively dead waters of the Southwest Pacific with iron ore to encourage an algee bloom, which would then help absorb greenhouse emissions.

    Like his idea, this one will be shot down for the same reason: It might actually do something about the problem, doesn't funnel money to the climatologists pushing Global Warming as a means of securing ever-more funding, and it offends the the civil religion of environmentalism by allowing Western Civilization to escape suffering (in the form of a stagnant economy die to crushing greenhouse gas taxes) for its "environmental sins."

    "Today, one of the most powerful religions in the Western World is environmentalism. Environmentalism seems to be the religion of choice for urban atheists. Why do I say it's a religion? Well, just look at the beliefs. If you look carefully, you see that environmentalism is in fact a perfect 21st century remapping of traditional Judeo-Christian beliefs and myths. There's an initial Eden, a paradise, a state of grace and unity with nature, there's a fall from grace into a state of pollution as a result of eating from the tree of knowledge, and as a result of our actions there is a judgment day coming for us all. We are all energy sinners, doomed to die, unless we seek salvation, which is now called sustainability. Sustainability is salvation in the church of the environment. Just as organic food is its communion, that pesticide-free wafer that the right people with the right beliefs, imbibe. Eden, the fall of man, the loss of grace, the coming doomsday---these are deeply held mythic structures. They are profoundly conservative beliefs. They may even be hard-wired in the brain, for all I know. I certainly don't want to talk anybody out of them, as I don't want to talk anybody out of a belief that Jesus Christ is the son of God who rose from the dead. But the reason I don't want to talk anybody out of these beliefs is that I know that I can't talk anybody out of them. These are not facts that can be argued. These are issues of faith. And so it is, sadly, with environmentalism. Increasingly it seems facts aren't necessary, because the tenets of environmentalism are all about belief. It's about whether you are going to be a sinner, or saved. Whether you are going to be one of the people on the side of salvation, or on the side of doom. Whether you are going to be one of us, or one of them."

  18. "I kicked Bono's ass at Warcraft III!" on Tech Support to the Stars · · Score: 5, Funny
    "He kept building farms to feed the hungry, so my orcs just wiped him out!"

  19. Classic Examples: Fortunate Son & Arming Ameri on Publishers Say 'Fact-Checking Too Costly' · · Score: 4, Interesting
    This is nothing new. Two classic examples of recent vintage are James Hatfield's Fortunate Son and Michael Bellesiles' Arming America.

    Fortunate Son was withdrawn from the publisher because A.) The author was utterly unable to provide a single shred of proof for the only new, "bombshell" revelation in the book, i.e. that George W. Bush was once arrested for cocaine possession, and B.) The author turned out to be a liar and convicted felon. He was an ex-con on parole for attempted murder, had pleaded guilty to embezzling more than $34,000 in federal housing funds, none of which he happened to mention to St. Martin's while pitching the book. Plus he was caught making up stories about his background; as a science fiction writer, I especially liked the one about how he was recipient of "the prestigious international Isaac Asimov Foundation Literary Award for Outstanding Biography," which, oddly enough, doesn't exist.)

    Michael Bellesiles' Arming America was another demonstrable (although initially more believable and well-crafted) fraud that argued gun ownership in early America was rare. Researchers following up on his work found that some of his source material said the exact opposite of what he claimed. That eventually got Bellesiles fired from his university position, and even had the Bancroft prize committee not only rescind the prize it had awarded him, but ask for the prize money back!

  20. Ths artikle iz b0gus!!!!! on College Students Lack Literacy · · Score: 1
    D00dz! Ths artikle iz TOTALLY b0gus!!! R U kid'N me? Kidz w/poor litracy skillz????? UNPOSSIBLE! WTF? LOL!

  21. Democrats Received Payments From Abramoff... on Washington Post Shuts Down Blog · · Score: 1

    ...and his clients, a fact amply documented here. To wit:

    "National Democrat Party Affiliated Committees Received Over $1.2 Million from Lobbying Associates Of Jack Abramoff. (Campaign Finance Analysis Project Website, Accessed December 7, 2005;
    Political Money Line Website, , Accessed December 7, 2005; Internal Revenue Service Website, www.irs.gov, Accessed April 21, 2005)

    The Democrat Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC) Received Over -$430,000
    The Democrat Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) Received Over -$629,000
    The Democrat National Committee (DNC) Received Over - $177,000

    Incumbent Senate Democrat-Affiliated Campaign And Leadership Committees Received Over $729,000 From Indian Tribe Clients And Lobbying Associates Of Jack Abramoff*. (Campaign Finance Analysis Project Website, , Accessed December 7, 2005; Political Money Line Website, ,
    Accessed December 7, 2005; Internal Revenue Service Website, , Accessed April 21, 2005)

    40 Of The 45 Members Of The Senate Democrat Caucus:

    Senator Max Baucus (D-MT) Received At Least - $22,500
    Senator Evan Bayh (D-IN) Received At Least - $6,500
    Senator Joseph Biden (D-DE) Received At Least - $1,250
    Senator Jeff Bingaman (D-NM) Received At Least - $2,000
    Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA) Received At Least - $20,250
    Senator Maria Cantwell (D-WA) Received At Least - $21,765
    Senator Tom Carper (D-DE) Received At Least - $7,500
    Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) Received At Least - $12,950
    Senator Kent Conrad (D-ND) Received At Least - $8,000
    Senator Jon Corzine (D-NJ) Received At Least - $7,500
    Senator Chris Dodd (D-CT) Received At Least - $14,792
    Senator Byron Dorgan (D-ND) Received At Least - $79,300
    Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) Received At Least - $14,000
    Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) Received At Least - $2,000
    Senator Russ Feingold (D-WI) Received At Least - $1,250
    Senator Tom Harkin (D-IA) Received At Least - $45,750
    Senator Daniel Inouye (D-HI) Received At Least - $9,000
    Senator Jim Jeffords (I-VT) Received At Least - $2,000
    Senator Tim Johnson (D-SD) Received At Least - $14,250
    Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) Received At Least - $3,300
    Senator John Kerry (D-MA) Received At Least - $98,550
    Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA) Received At Least - $28,000
    Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT) Received At Least - $4,000
    Senator Carl Levin (D-MI) Received At Least - $6,000
    Senator Joe Lieberman (D-CT) Received At Least - $29,830
    Senator Blanche Lincoln (D-AR) Received At Least - $14,891
    Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) Received At Least - $10,550
    Senator Patty Murray (D-WA) Received At Least - $78,991
    Senator Bill Nelson (D-FL) Received At Least - $20,168
    Senator Ben Nelson (D-NE) Received At Least - $5,200
    Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) Received At Least - $7,500
    Senator Mark Pryor (D-AR) Received At Least - $2,300
    Senator Jack Reed (D-RI) Received At Least - $3,500
    Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) Received At Least - $68,941
    Senator John Rockefeller (D-WV) Received At Least - $4,000
    Senator Ken Salazar (D-CO) Received At Least - $4,500
    Senator Paul Sarbanes (D-MD) Received At Least - $4,300
    Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) Received At Least - $29,550
    Senator Debbie Stabenow (D-MI) Received At Least - $6,250
    Senator Ron Wyden (D-OR) Received At Least - $6,250"

    Since liberals have pinned all their hopes of regaining Congress in this year's election, the bipartisan nature of the Abramoff scandal is a truth which must be surpressed at all costs.

    The system that allows the federal government to pick winners and losers with your tax dollars is the real problem. You won't get the money out of politics until you get the politics out of money.

  22. "Noticeably Slower" on Solid State Memory on the Rise · · Score: 1
    it uses less power (but is noticeably slower)

    I'm curious: Why is Flash/NAND memory "noticeably slower" than a hard drive? I remember back when RAM drives were the rage at the ultra-high end because of blazing fast access times. It wouldn't surprise me that Flash is slower, but it would surprise me that it was so much slower as to be slower than a HD, which has seek and access overheads.

    Are you sure it just wasn't the way it was accessed (i.e., a USB drive)? I would think that a NAND drive on an equivalent bus (say FireWire or SCSI) would beat an HD hands-down. What am I missing?

  23. One Word: Google on National Archives' Digital Woes · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Really, either Internal or External. Take out anything that might injure National Security, then turn the rest over for Google to index. Hell, send a copy of everything to Google, for that matter; they've got room. Keep a record of searches and visits to documents by codeword and frequency and build index that way. Create a datasea, index it, and let citizens swim in it. As long as the e-mail is in at least a remotely standard format, what's the problem?

    (Note: Asserting a simple solution to a complex problem is the best way to elicit information, as it creates a burning desire in readers to prove you're wrong...)

  24. I Look Forward to Thread Posters Apologizing on Slashback: Little Red Hoax, Firefly, Google · · Score: 0, Flamebait
    ..for rushing to make such hasty and ill-informed comments in the original Little Red Book thread such as quoting Goering or the usual Orwell reference.

    Then again, this is the Bush-hating crowd, on Slashdot, so perhaps I shouldn't hold my breath.

  25. Big Problem: Transfer Power from Local to State on Challenge to Transfer IT Power in MA · · Score: 4, Insightful
    First the disclaimer: I don't live in Massachusetts (thank Ghod) and haven't actually read all the material involved. On the surface it just looks like the transfer of power from one set of non-elected bureaucrats to another set of non-elected bureaucrats. But this tidbit caught my eye
    I have previously noted that the amendment would not only take control of procurement and standards policy away from the State agencies directly involved in architecting, buying, deploying and training, but would also take the same power away from the heretofore autonomous municipalities of Massachusetts as well - exercising hegemony, in other words, over thousands of town halls, libraries, first responders, and much more.
    For me, if true, this is the deal-breaker and sufficient reason to oppose the transfer: it violates the principles of federalism and subsidiarity, i.e., that power should always devolve to the lowest level of government capable of carrying it out, or to the people themselves. Any transfer from local government, which tends to be more accesable to actual citizens, to higher echelons of non-elected bureaucratic elites, is Bad News. (Absolute centeralization of power corrupts absolutely. For more on that, see the UN Oil-for-Food scandal.) That is reason enough alone to oppose the measure, regardless of any other issues involved.