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  1. Re:Ohhh the truth!!! on The Real Truth About Oracle's 'New' Kernel · · Score: 1

    Same here, in both smaller enterprises and my current rather large storage vendor; we are adding SPARC H/W just as fast as the x86 architectures, along with some Cisco UCS. There are tons of Solaris installations out there in the big data centers, kids. Not that Oracle is my friend, they are just another method for me to get paid at the moment, until they botch Solaris and I bail on it. I'm already moving into big VMware and more admin tool designing. Solaris can't last under the insane care of Larry. Profits first, innovation comes when someone buys a lot of their products, then starts complaining about the bugs. THEN they start the fixin'. Oracle is a dinosaur. Nothing less.

  2. Re:I don't think so on Designing Wireless Sensors To Be Dropped Into Volcanoes · · Score: 2, Funny

    Not with advanced oven-mitt technologies! The precious, and every so finicky, electronic components will be as cool as cucumbers in a summer salad!

  3. What about Sexual Harassment Panda!?! on Police Publish 'An Introduction To PEDO BEAR' · · Score: 2, Funny

    Is he now out of a job? Awww, people don't like Sexual Harassment Panda. That makes Panda sad. :(

  4. Re:Anecdotal Evidence on Video Games Lead To Quick Thinking Skills · · Score: 1

    I think that's a combo of good sense of direction and a good memory. I was able to do that stuff prior to my video game craze setting in. Although, GTAIII+ have all helped too. I seem to know just where a good shortcut is, even without the map. Repetition is also the key, as is much repetition.

    Personally, there's nothing like multitasking, driving, reading small print, keeping track of friends in a crowd, and navigating around town, all at the same time! Videogames, is there anything in life you don't make better?!

  5. Re:Not a black hole? on Astronomers Find Diamond Star 4,000 km Wide · · Score: 1

    No, our Sun is too small for a black hole. This (making "diamonds") should happen to our star, from the wiki:

    Helium fusion will begin when the core temperature reaches around 100,000,000 K and will produce carbon

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun#Life_cycle

    So, once it burns up all the hydrogen, then the helium will be consumed and produce the carbon, and the shiny shiny diamonds will come next, then ???, then profit!!1! Dibs!

  6. Re:What color? on Two Research Groups Create 'Electric Skin' · · Score: 1

    The future is now with every color available! Why just be one race, that's not just boring, it's racist. Plus; electroluminescent tattoos with themes. What could possibly go wrong?

  7. Re:Yay! on Court Says First Sale Doctrine Doesn't Apply To Licensed Software · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Well what about software delivered on a piece of hardware? Like a game cartridge.

    This just opens up the doors for companies like Nintendo and their ilk to disallow the used game market to exist. Hooray, one more way to fuck over consumers.

  8. Re:Is that an achievement for Google or Facebook? on Facebook Surpasses Google For Users' Online Time · · Score: 1

    Subscribe me to your newsletter post haste!

    I was thinking the same thing; I'm in two gmail accounts all day long and spend perhaps 5 minutes on farcebook each day, I spend more time on /. than at FB too. Perhaps these number reflect the millions of stupid people willing to not only reread their own inane postings but the droppings, er, postings of their alleged "friends"? It takes all of a minute to weed through the "oh, look at my sandwich!" and "my kid crapped a HUGE load in their diaper!" stuff and get on with RL. This too will pass. Like unto friendster, and unto myspace, so shall facebook go. It's nothing that can't be replaced with an email list of "friends". That and a ton of shitty webapps trying to be real grown-up software. So, facebook can be effectively replaced with an iPhone and a list of idiots. Problem solved!

  9. Re:would be nice on Mega-Volcanoes Might Be Detectable On Exoplanets · · Score: 1

    if we detect the presence of split-crotch panties and perhaps some hot stewardesses.

  10. Re:A limited # of digital copies? on Sony Breathes New Life Into Library Books · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Agreed! Plus, something the DRM friendly jokesters from a few threads above don't realize when they lay down their "oh, it's good for everyone with the DRM and the restrictions" logic is that this is a play by Sony to get their eBook readers into peoples hands and gain traction on Kindle/iPad/etc. It's nothing more. Save me your "it's just like the library" bullshit, people. It's about Sony making money and feeding you more DRMed content, even when it's freely available elsewhere without restrictions, other than physical. Let's all play the DRM game and say it's good for everyone when it's only good for one party. Sony sucks balls. Their products show this in the many restrictions and their lack of respect for their own customers. Fuck Sony.

  11. Re:Unlikely to work on Anti-Product Placement For Negative Branding · · Score: 1

    Unless they are complete shitheads and cannot get any free swag from ANY company no matter how infamous. Like those Jerky Shore dispshits. Nike will be sending them Adidas just to make sure. I would, to protect my brand. My brand? Nuts & Gum. I'm sending them a whole shitload of Planters Peanuts. Those fucks!

  12. Re:"just google it" on Microsoft Suspends Gamer For Being From Fort Gay · · Score: 1

    What?!

    Oh, I see; zing, er bing CORRECTLY ignores this obviously made up word and google only makes a reference to it as a joke. On us! Bad Google, stop doing the evils! Sheesh.

    Seriously, I'm suspending "Microsoft" for this. Enough with this gay stuff, it's like the frickin' Howard Stern Show in Redmond already! Make it stop.

  13. Re:Strangely drawn to this story... on Tractor Beams Come To Life · · Score: 1

    +1 attract force!

    These new tractor beams need to have more secure panels designed behind something a bit more daunting than a simple catwalk to the control lever that any old Jedi and get to, even when guarded by several weak-minded Storm Troopers.

    Let's learn from the Emperor's mistake here and improve that design for the future!

  14. Re:Respect? on GameStop Pulls Medal of Honor From Military Bases · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Actually, they signed away most rights when they joined. If the Col. sez "no one gets to do X" and X is something like a controversial game or the dangerous and useless facebook, then they might have to give that up. No lawyers will be assisting with that, I can assure you. I gave up mine too, but I got mines back, son!

    What's next though; playing PacMan as the Ghosts?! Surely not! Blasphemers! Game Stop, STOP them from gaming!

  15. This just in... on Cisco Planning To Acquire Skype · · Score: 3, Funny

    Reports are surfacing that Oracle and Cisco attempted to purchase each other this morning and were destroyed in the clash. A very perturbed Larry Ellison had this to say; "When I saw they tried to purchase US I fell over into my zen rock garden and bumped my head pretty bad on a large decorative boulder." A spokeswoman for Cisco remarked; "They got database software all up in my router!" to which Larry replied; "Well, you got router all over my new Sun hardware biz!" Film at 11... AM, then lunch.

  16. Re:this just in on Woman Wins Libel Suit By Suing Wrong Website · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Sarah Jones the ex Bengals Cheerleader who rapes goats with umbrellas and once blew The Prophet Mohammad until he screamed "Thank you, Jesus! Will you make me a ham sandwich?" And every word of it is true and verifiable by thedirtys.com

  17. Re:you sound bitter on Microsoft Patents OS Shutdown · · Score: 1

    Not mad really, I just I wish I had the nerve, and lawyers, to patent something so totally ridiculous. One could get the same output if you put 1000 monkeys into a room with some Win dev machines; 1000 monkeys all throwing chairs and their feces onto the keyboards will eventually come up with a patent to shut down a system. Good work!

    I would probably rather wish to be a televangelist; lots of money and no sense of playing fair or trying to using your own ideas, or using real skills, to make you money. Yeah, that's the life for me; fucking over people, taking their money, and having no remorse. Good work! Be proud, you assholes!

  18. Wait... on Resort Attracts Men With Virtual Girlfriends · · Score: 1

    Love Plus [something =] fish sausages

    Where have I seen this equation before? Oh yeah, in my pants! I love you, Japan! Keep up the weird work!

  19. Sit Longer, Die Sooner, and... on Sit Longer, Die Sooner · · Score: 1

    Leave a good looking corpse and/or zombie husk!

    You'll live longer if you ignore every stupid news story that's trying to get your attention by claiming you're going to die or live, depending on the content of said article. Not convincing enough. Sitting should just cause some interesting bowel cancer or some other less boring outcome. I want my 45 seconds back for reading that summary!

  20. Re:Where there's a USB port ... there's a way on Pentagon Confirms 2008 Computer Breach — 'Worst Ever' · · Score: 3, Funny

    That's a good work-around!

    So any unprotected [USB] port is, well, a potential source of a leak.

    Along with any camera, copier, cell phone, human with a memory, network accessible device, etc. Every kind of access restriction can be circumvented. *Every* kind.

    I would suggest mounting all laptops in cement, then chaining the cement block down to the cube frame structure. Close off all connectivity, embed in a Faraday Cage, then keep anyone, including the approved user, from accessing it, and you're all set! Bob's your uncle! Otherwise, expect your data to escape. Because it will. :) Have a nice day!

  21. Re:Sauce for the goose on GPS Tracking Without a Warrant Declared Legal · · Score: 1

    Don't forget to shut off your cell phones and other traceable devices. GPS does not worry me as much as say electronic insects invading my private airspace to monitor me for Der Kamizar without a warrent. When they start using drones and other flying mini-robots, then I start my capture and reprogram operations. Nothing much can be done about ever-increasing details in photo-satellites though. Except for a fake pool screen over your backyard.

    Give it a good shot though, Der Kamizar! Many of the technologies you'll employ are easily thwarted by every single /. reader and their 12 year old little sister. When Sgt. Stadenco [sp?] figures out RFID and micro-drones, it'll be too late because their tech will be the low-budget variety. I don't see a ton of spending for police tech, even here in the USA. I see many cutbacks and layoffs. Nothing to see here folks. These aren't the drones you're looking for. Move along.

  22. Follow along now... on Does the GOP Pay Friendly Bloggers? · · Score: 1

    Let's follow the money:

    1. Bob the Blogger has $100
    2. Bob buys $100 in pizzas from Large Conservative Pizza Corp owned by part-time abortion clinic bombers
    C. Large Conservative Pizza Corp pays Larry the Lobbyist for some much needed bribery, I mean influence consideration!
    4. Larry the Lobbyist pays Congressman Craig for said "influence"
    5. Congressman Craig pays Bob the Blogger for some much needed "good will of the American People"
    6. ???
    7. Profit!

    It's the Corporate American Way. Don't ask so surprised. Just put out your hand, and turn off you real thoughts, sheeple.

  23. Awesomes! on Foursquare-Style Checking In For Couch Potatoes · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Does this work with Friendster and myspace?

    This ushers in a whole new golden era of pointless web apps that makes me wonder how much information stupid people are willing to share without their knowledge. Incredibly there is no limit.

  24. Re:Not too surprising? on Microsoft Claims 'We Love Open Source' · · Score: 1

    Speaking of business, most are still loading up on Windows Server 2008, Microsoft SQL Server, IIS, Active Directory, etc., and the pace of change is not heading to Linux at an appreciable rate.

    Really? From my vantage point I see the best way to make very little money in IT is to be a Windows admin. And from the enterprise perspective Windows is just holding it's own, for now, while huge swaths of virtualization are coming in with very little in terms of an increased footprint for Windows. I've made a killing doing Solaris virtualization, and see only good things for the VMWare/Linux installations I'm managing now, and for the future. Windows is not a serious threat in any IT realm. Look at the recent product failures from Redmond; Vista, Zune, Kin, it never stops raining up there, huh? ;) Microsoft is out of touch with the way the enterprise will be moving in the next decade. They have lost focus on their core products. New Office is not that interesting, even with the "scary big button" of nonsense. Windows 7 is just trying to gain back the loss of Vista to XP. It's catch up time for MS, they are not about to take any lead in any industry. Except with an insecure operating environment for Symantec and McAfee to profit from.

    Oh, I do love my xbox though. That's a good product. And their mice. Good mice. That is all.

  25. Re:Bring on Johnny Fartpants! on 'Exploding Lake' Provides Electricity For Rwanda · · Score: 1

    NICE! I see your Johnny Fartpants and I raise you a Mr. Methane: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Methane

    Personally, the summary reminded me of a Frank Zappa lyric, which I will boldly use now without permissions:
    "There are three things that smell like fish. One of them, is fish. The other two..."

    And finally; HOLY SHIT!!1! They have a bomb in the lake! Won't someone please think of the fish?