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User: DarkHelmet

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Comments · 1,013

  1. Guns. on Product Placement in Online Gaming · · Score: 5, Funny

    In the middle of fragging your friends in Doom3, a message appears in the console:

    This small show of violence was brought to you by the NRA. Without us, your dreams of actually owning your own mini-gun will never be realized.

    I love you Charlton Heston, you damn filthy ape!

  2. Ears, on Fighting Music Piracy with Glue · · Score: 2
    So, if I'm a reviewer and I let someone else listen to the CD, they are violating the DMCA.

    Therefore, their ears must be chopped off.

  3. Re:Bad Idea on Fighting Music Piracy with Glue · · Score: 2
    My above post should be modded back down, most likely due to it partly missing the point. (brainfart)

    But not entirely. The main point of my post was that this is a Brittle system. When it fails, it fails miserably.

    Having a CD that will work in ANY player being glued shut seems to be like having treasure in a treasure chest. When everyone knows where the treasure chest is, it's only a matter of time before it's picked open.

    That's why I think it'd be better having it kept on some kind of memory medium. When you crack open the device, how many of the journalists are going to pop the CD directly into a CDrom and start ripping. On the other hand, how many of them are going to try to hardwire the memory to another device to try and digitally extract it :).

    As funny as the thought of Music Journalists going to all those guys who rip ROMS might seem, the chances are pretty low.

    Yes, yes, yes, blah blah *cough* wire cutters, etc.

    Umm, umm, you could always make headphones with a chip on each earpiece that somehow modulate the receiving signal and feed it back to the player. Without the modulated feedback signal, it stops playing.

    Yeah, yeah, it's killing a fly with an atom bomb. But if you're going to attempt to solve a problem, do it RIGHT.

  4. Bad Idea on Fighting Music Piracy with Glue · · Score: -1, Insightful
    That is, by far, one of the worst ideas I've heard of in a long time.

    First of all, if you're going to make something *only* play out of a single player, do it RIGHT. Don't have the item on media that ANY CD player can use. Put it on something proprietary. Put it on something that can't be digitally extracted.

    It seems like a waste of money to have to buy an ENTIRE PLAYER just to listen to a CD, but if they're going to do it, why not just encode the music onto flash ram, or a rom or something? That way, the device could be the size of a keychain.

    The whole point of a CD is being able to play the same media on different devices. If they plan to limit that freedom, then at least take advantage of what you CAN do when you don't have that technical limitation.

    Idiots.

  5. Oh the sadness on USC To Students: No Sharing Files · · Score: 2
    It's times like this I demand karma for now being the target of sympathy and pity.

    Heh.

  6. I can see it now: on Keanu Reeves as Superman · · Score: 4, Funny
    When they decide to remake Superman 1:
    (For Reference)

    Wil "Wheaton" Reeves as Superman
    Patrick "Stewart" Brando as Jor-el
    Brent "Spiner" Hackman as Lex Luther
    Jonathan "Frakes" Beatty as Otis
    Margot "Marina Sirtis" Kidder as Lois Lane.

    Yes Mr. Reeves, most of us would pay to see that.

  7. Looks like on Wireless Wales · · Score: 2

    They went up a hill, and came down a WiFi tower.

  8. Excellent! on AMD Delays Hammer · · Score: 2
    I can wait another few months. That'll give me the extra time I needed to figure out how to get linux running on my 64-bit Atari Jaguar.

    Anything with 64-bit doom is good enough for me :)

  9. Something missing. on Open Source TV · · Score: 5, Funny
    From his article:

    Luckily this is the U.S. version, which lacks my big nude scene from the UK version. I am not making this up.

    Cringely, I'll be buying the "Special Edition" of your DVD when it comes out in another year.

    Do NOT disappoint me.

  10. What's wrong at paramount. on Star Trek: Pick A Plot · · Score: 2
    The paramount database has many, many ideas for Star Trek plots, but currently our TECH is failing. Our Computer Engineers have found a problem in the TECH and will quickly be doing a TECH to rectify the problem.

    Our repair android is having a TECH problem in his positronic brain, and our engineer's VISOR is growing out of fashion.

    Unfortunately, the problem with our TECH won't be in time for Star Trek 10. Since we have bad luck with odd movies, expect an entirely new script with Star Trek 12: Epsilon Quadrant*.

    * (For the ig'nant: How many quadrants are there in a whole? What letter of the greek alphabet is "epsilon"? Good lad!)

  11. Here's a use... on HP Labs Creates Densest Memory Chips To Date · · Score: 2
    With the amount of memory something like that could produce, I could finally ramdisk my pr0n collection.

    I'm sick of waiting for those images to load.

  12. Am I a member? on Ed Felten in the Economist · · Score: 1, Offtopic
    Are you a member of the EFF yet?

    I'm waiting until they start giving Wil Wheaton figurines with every 100 dollar or greater donation.

    I'm also waiting on getting an inflatable Love-Gnu for when I donate 100 or more dollars to the Free Software Foundation.

    I think I'll be waiting a while on those, so I might have to go commercial and purchase a Nullsoft Love Llama for the time being.

    Shame.

  13. Progress is good and all but... on Sites Rejecting Apache 2? · · Score: 3, Funny

    I won't switch over to Apache 2 until there's an amiga port of it!

  14. Quick Question on Microsoft to Hire Xbox Hackers? · · Score: 4, Funny
    A background in game hacking knowledge is listed as a preferred talent

    Can I take my Game Genie to the interview?

  15. 64k. on Houston, We Have a Software Problem · · Score: 1, Redundant
    It has 64k of memory and no room to repair any software bugs

    But 64k should be enough for everybody!

  16. so... on Physical and Network Security Merging? · · Score: 3, Funny

    So, instead of Rent-a-cops, are we going to have lots of Rent-an-admin positions available?

  17. What the hell did they write to the dots? on Individual Atom Memory Created · · Score: 0, Troll
    http://www.news.wisc.edu/newsphotos/images/Atomic_ memory_chip02.jpg

    What the hell did they write to it? I think I can see a naked lady in there...

    Oh, nevermind, my browser window is translucent, and the pr0n site from one of my other window was coming through..

    ...Closing Atomic Memory window... Moving on to images that are easier to "read."

  18. Bah! on Individual Atom Memory Created · · Score: 5, Funny
    University of Wisconsin-Madison Scientists have created "atomic scale" memory using individual atoms of Silicon." A cool photo can be found on the site as well.

    Single atom memory? How stable do they REALLY expect that to be?

    Ha! What's the name of the technology? Alzheimer's Access Memory?

  19. Maybe it's me... on First Commercial Moon Mission Approved · · Score: 3, Funny
    Maybe it's me... But wouldn't any company that has to get licensed by a government to confirm that the government isn't lying.... is really controlled by the government?

    I'd be happier if Carmack and Co could check for us.

  20. Slashdot Repeat Idea on Ogg Vorbis For Hardware Makers · · Score: 2
    A couple ideas to think over.
    • Instead of just having moderator points, assign Operator rating points based on karma. This way, the boneheadedness (or admirability) of the operator can be determined.
    • When a news story is submitted, change slash to have an "Are you Sure" page, which would do a fulltext search to try and find matches within the past few days. This'll give them one more chance to see if the story is a dupe. If it's done, Operators won't have to actually READ Slashdot. Fancy that! More time to work on Everything2 articles!
    • If an Operator submits too many duplicate posts (Hi CmdrTaco!), make him strip down naked, and run through the streets with only a Plush Tux Penguin to hide his/her genetalia.
    • Make the HREF for the poster point to goatse.cx for two days whenever they post a dupe.
    • Give karma points for being a troll when responding to a duplicate article... Fringe Benefit: The Trolls will only come out from under their bridge when the Ops pull a boner.

    I'd love to hear thoughts on this.

  21. Doom 3 on Xbox Runs X, KDE, Gnome, StarOffice and Tuxracer · · Score: 5, Funny
    This is awesome! Why is this awesome? Because now people who have an Xbox will be able to play Doom3 at the *same time* that it comes out for the PC.

    All this without the Anal Leakage (TM) that is the Xbox gamepad.

  22. Two Towers on 802.11 vs. 3G For Mobile Access · · Score: 2
    you could watch a live video webcast while waiting for the bus, email photos to your friends while sitting in the park, or download the MP3 of the song that's playing in the pub before it finishes.

    Or you could download the Two Towers before any of the Dialup or DSL bastards can get their hands on it.

    Your palmpilot gets a fatter pipe than my desktop.

    I hate you.

  23. Drunken Borg. on A Borg-like Artificial Intelligence For Lionhead's New Game · · Score: 4, Funny
    but unlike the Borg, the characters in the new game are already descending into bar brawls

    Have you ever seen an intoxicated borg? No. Does that exclude the fact that you'll ever see one?

    No! There's always seasons 2-7 of Enterprise. The borg will be so drunk or stoned off their ass that they'll focus on assimilating Archer's dog.

    *arf* *arf *arf*
    Translation: Resistance is futile.

  24. Tests. on Air Bags for Planetary Defense · · Score: 2
    Tests on Crash Dummies show that Airbags save lives.

    Therefore, an Airbag for the planet earth will save the lives of 6 billion dummies :)

  25. yoink. on Chimps, AIDS, And Immunity · · Score: 2

    50,000 monkeys at 50,000 typewriters can't be wrong.