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User: DarkHelmet

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Comments · 1,013

  1. HA! on If You Hack NBC, You Don't Get to Meet Tom Brokaw · · Score: 2
    Have you ever noticed that Tom is the drunkest sounding sober person you'll ever hear?

    I bet the hacker noticed that there's an IV going into him from under the desk, and electrodes attached to his nuts if he decides to do anything stupid.

  2. Issues on Netscape 7.0 is Out · · Score: 2
    I think I figured it out... This is why Netscape is not succeeding. They need a spokesperson...

    I mean, Microsoft has a jumping apeshit monkeyman CEO hawking their wares, what does Netscape have?

    Heh, I can't help but laugh at all the people saying "I can't believe how well Netscape's site is taking the slashdot effect.

    Are you people nuts? Don't you realize that the reason Netscape hasn't been slashdotted is because NO ONE FROM SLASHDOT CARES

    Nope, nobody... Not even a Beowolf Cluster of machines running Netscape turns anyone on around here.

    Netscape 6 was kicking a dead horse. 7 is grinding its testicles up and putting it in soup Enterprise style.

  3. wow... on P4 2.80GHz Overclocked to 3.917GHz · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's strange seeing a processor run at sub zero. I'm used to popping popcorn inside my Athlon's case whenever I wanna watch a movie.

  4. Yes, Sam and Max is Back... on LucasArts announces Sam & Max sequel · · Score: 2

    ... but does it use the Doom 3 Engine? :)

  5. even better. on Virtual Genetic Evolution · · Score: 2
    Even better, how long will it take to make a virtual geek woman?

    I want the specifications so I can sell them on slashdot for 50 mod points a pop.

  6. Re:Soggy Chips? on New AMD Athlon 2600 Processor Released · · Score: 2

    Wow, water cooling is built right into the chip... Sweet!

  7. Inconsistency on Doctor Phlox on Season 2 of Enterprise · · Score: 4, Insightful
    I really do love Enterprise, but it just makes things difficult when Star Trek has to write over itself to try and pretend that it's really our future yet to come.

    The Enterprise on the show was never featured in Star Trek 1 as "One of the ships that had the name Enterprise"

    There's an episode with the Ferengi in Enterprise. They hardly knew anything about the Ferengi on the first season of "The Next Generation". One of the ferengi (I believe played by Armin Shimmerman at the time) comments on how ugly the humans really are. Yet one of the Ferengi seem to obsess over a Vulcan.

    This show has equipment far more elaborate than the original series. The consoles on the original show were dials and knobs.

    Whatever happened to the Eugenics War of the 1990's? The one where Khan ruled 1/4 of the Earth, and ends up being ejected into space.

    And my personal favorite, The Royale from Star Trek:TNG, where Picard goes off for 2 minutes on how Fermat's Last Theorem goes unsolved. Yes, Star Trek could be in a universe where Fermat's Last Theorem is unsolved, but then in Star Trek DS9, Dax was commenting on how she created another proof for it.

    When I think of Star Trek, I always think of it as being in an alternate future, kind of like Command And Conquer: Red Alert where World War 2 never happened. Just I wish they'd keep things straight, and everything in the same universe. :)

    Then again, maybe Star Trek TNG, Star Trek Original and Star Trek: Enterprise belong in different Quantum Realities :)

    For their sake, I hope black holes do exist. It would suck if they had to go over all of the TNG/DS9 episodes and dub the word "Black Hole" with "Gravastar".

  8. Ideas. on Violence, Video Games And Donahue · · Score: 2
    I don't think video violence affects me!

    In fact, I think we should go over to Donahue right now and take a Rocket Launcher to his show and blow him up.

    No.... sorry... Ummmm.... shoot him down with an Uzi.

    No.... wait... Use my Sniper Rifle on him.

    Argh... He be sellin' spank to my women! Me and Luigi will go take a bat to his face!

    God damnit! No.... No... Must resist...

    Okay... How about me and Donahue just sit down and talk it out...

  9. Re:Little short on the creativity on Next-Generation Chip Fabs · · Score: 2
    Come on IBM, have some flair.

    Haven't you been watching those IBM commercials on TV?

    "Cool" costs them money.

  10. Morpheus goes Apeshit. on NYC Law Aims To Ban Cell Phones In Theatres · · Score: 4, Funny
    Wired mentions that actor Laurence Fishburne, in the middle of a Broadway performance, yelled to an audience member to "turn your f___ing phone off!"

    Cellular phone rings

    Morpheus: God damn motherf*cking people. Bwah, I need my pills, where are my pills?

    Neo: Red or Blue?

  11. Aww... on Crusher Crushed from Nemesis · · Score: 2

    I really did want to see Wil in Nemesis, but there's always a good side to this:

    At least we won't get to hear about Wes' journey with the Galactic Pedophile.

  12. Re:he's also on First Man To Mars? · · Score: 2
    Though anywhere he lands on Mars he'll be an alien.

    Wow, and I always wondered why all those aliens on scifi shows looked so humanoid...

  13. modern languages, antique methodology on Microsoft Invests in the University of Waterloo · · Score: 2
    Now if only they'd stop using NACHOS to teach operating system design...

    It doesn't matter how current your programming language is. If you're using a toy to demonstrate concepts when a full blown implementation is just as available, that's where things get ugly.

    Programming languages are not much of an issue to me nowadays. All of the languages that have seriously caught on (apart from Basic) have their structure ripped from C/C++. You can look at PERL and find bits of Bash and awk, but still.

    How long does it take to learn a new programming language, and its syntax? Not *incredibly* long. It takes longer to learn the syntax, and find out about all the specialized functions that each one has built into it.

    Being a compsci student, programming languages should be fairly simple to pick up (after C++, give a few weeks to learn how to do things equivalently). I wish we'd get more time learning how to do things (Makefiles etc) than focus on 10 different ways to say "Hello world"

    I'd much rather take two semesters of a class that does something real (like tweak with linux, or write a C compiler) than one semester of something that won't be useful in the real world (tweaking NACHOS, or a COOL compiler).

    It's times like that I wonder what *really* goes into getting a diploma.

  14. wonderful.. on Linux Kernel Module For Nintendo Powerglove · · Score: 5, Funny
    Great, so now whenever somebody writes something stupid on slashdot I can mod them down by punching the monitor and giving them the bird.

    I can then proceed to mod people up by virtually scratching my balls.

    Good slashdot posts inspire thought, and in the words of Maynard James Keenan, "Whenever I get an idea my balls itch."

  15. Re:Force Grip on Linux Kernel Module For Nintendo Powerglove · · Score: 2
    "Evil will always triumph because good is dumb." -- Dark Helmet

    You bastard! You stole my line :)

  16. Wondering... on India Plans Its Own Moon Shot · · Score: 2
    I wonder if the Chinese or Indians will have their own soundsets to fake a moon landing, or if they'll ask the US to use the same on in San Bernadino for authenticity.

    "Oh look, you can still see the US flag blowing in the lunar wind! Let's take it down!"

  17. RSA Wars on Distributed Security · · Score: 5, Funny
    During the 1990s Schneier was a field marshal in the disheveled army of computer geeks, mathematicians, civil-liberties activists, and libertarian wackos that--in a series of bitter lawsuits that came to be known as the Crypto Wars

    Luke: You were in the Crypto Wars?

    Schneier: I was once an RSA Knight like your father. He was the best Composite Factorer in the whole galaxy... I see you have written programs that factor large numbers yourself. He was a good friend. Before the Dark Times, before The Empire.

    Luke:What happened to my father?

    Schneier:A young RSA Knight by the name of Len Adleman betrayed and murdered your father. Adleman was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force

  18. Katz? Damnit! on Schneier et al Report PGP Vulnerability · · Score: 2
    The paper comes from Kahil Jallad, Jonathan Katz, and Bruce Schneier

    Damnit, I thought my filter on Slashdot was supposed to take his stuff out!

    CowboyNeal! Your stupid filter isn't working!

  19. Wrong Comparison on Is Linux or Windows Easier To Install? · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Windows 2000 Pro and Redhat 7.3? What kind of rigged game is this?

    I'm sure the Slashdot groupies would get a laugh if Microsoft compared Windows XP to Redhat 6.0.

    This is like comparing a 1.5 ghz Athlon and a 1.5 GHZ Pentium 4. You don't... There's no point. Stop comparing apples and oranges people.

    Flamebait, maybe. So what, reply. Prove me wrong.

  20. I couldn't help it. on Will CGI Collapse the Hollywood Economy? · · Score: 2
    1. Steal Actor's underwear.
    2. ...
    3. Profit!
  21. Easy solution. on Toilet Paper Algorithms · · Score: 2
    Why don't you just have a little LED on top of the two rolls that points to which roll you *should* use. When the TP on one roll goes low, you switch it to the other side.

    Oh, I'm sorry, that's for EE majors, not CS people.

  22. Re:Fun with lasers? RTFM for lasers... on Lasers for Fun and Profit · · Score: 2

    They should have the rest of the manual in braille for those who don't heed the caution.

  23. redundant. on Rat Mind Control · · Score: 2
    Man already has a device that can control what he does.

    That device is called woman.

  24. The part I'm most pleased about... on John Carmack, Rocket Boy · · Score: 3, Interesting
    Is not quite so much what he can achieve through this company, but what the project contributes to his first love: gaming.

    From a programming standpoint, Quake 3 is a marvel, but I wouldn't exactly call it a marvel in game physics. The game relies mostly on characters within bounding boxes. There isn't much interaction with the environment other than shooting at objects, jumping, or falling.

    From a physics standpoint, the most impressive things about the Quake series is most likely its lighting. Even though this is a pre-calculated lightmap, radiosity isn't really a simple thing.

    Trespasser was years ahead of Quake in this area. Boxes would shatter, and each pieces of wood would scatter everywhere. Too bad the game didn't do much else right.

    Doom 3 is supposed to be worlds better. Enemies are supposed to be able to fall down steps, more interaction, etc.

    Remember that the Graphics Engine for Doom was done a while back, around the time he started Armadillo Airspace. Think about what's left for him to explore. AI and Game Physics are two big regions.

    I'm expecting Doom 3 to be a lot of things that all other Id games weren't. AA plays a big part of my expectations.

  25. Candidates on ActiveState Founder Steps Aside · · Score: 2
    unless you count, "The company is looking to become a $100 million company, and they're looking for someone ... that [sic.] has that experience."

    Candidates include:

    • J. Clifford Baxter from Enron (ooops, he's dead, anyone from that company with experience will do).
    • CEO Bernie Ebbers from WorldCom (still alive)
    • Bill Simon, currently running for California Governor.

    Experience people, experience! We want to be either a 100 million dollar company, or at least a company that looks like one.