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User: PolygamousRanchKid+

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  1. Re:The Future on Russia Proposes Banning Foul Language On the Internet · · Score: 1

    Because then it puts any opponents to the ban in the position of seeming to say, "I don't want to protect children."

    Well, I'd just answer, "Why don't you protect your own children, instead of outsourcing your parental responsibilities to the rest of society?"

    "Charity begins in the home."

  2. Shopping for clothes . . . on Retail Stores Plan Elaborate Ways To Track You · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Are you looking for something in particular, sir . . . ?"

    "Yeah, you got any tinfoil clothes . . . ?"

  3. Re:need biochemists on The Physics of the World's Fastest Man · · Score: 1

    The real competition, is who can take the most drugs . . . and not get caught. So sports are actually a very nerdy business. You need an excellent medical team to push the level of drugs just right to the line . . . without going over it. There is probably a lot of interesting biochemical technology behind all that.

    Tour de France? More like, Tour de Drugs.

  4. Re:Good luck .. on Nokia: Microsoft Must Evolve To Make Windows Phone a Success · · Score: 0

    This is my favorite Ballmer story: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Team_OS/2

    Team OS/2 went external that spring, when the first Team OS/2 Party was held in Chicago. The IBM Marketing Office in Chicago created a huge banner visible from the streets. Microsoft reacted when Steve Ballmer roamed the floor with an application on diskette that had been specially programmed to crash OS/2;[3] and OS/2 enthusiasts gathered for an evening of excitement at the first Team OS/2 party.

    [3] Dvorak, John C. "Microsoft Should Apologize" PC Magazine, October 20, 1998, p. 87

    The CEO is the public face a company, and I personally find Mr. Ballmer extremely unctuous and repulsive. I have to use Windows on my PC for business. I have no other choice. But with a phone, I do have other choices, and one of the factors I evaluate in how I view the company that makes the phone. So I use an Android.

    Which is actually very "profiling" of me, in the "crazy ass cracker" sense of the word. I have never personally met anyone who works for Microsoft. I keep imagining that there are some really nice and brilliant folks who work there. But then I think of Ballmer, and I think of him sending out internal memos all day, saying, "Try to do something even more nasty today!"

    I'll probably meet someone from Microsoft someday, and that will probably convince me that Microsoft is not a "Nation of Ballmers", in the "Napoleonic" sense of the word. But maybe having a CEO who at least pretends to be "kinder and gentler" could do Microsoft a world of good.

  5. Re:Good luck .. on Nokia: Microsoft Must Evolve To Make Windows Phone a Success · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    The new Lumia and its camera is a very attractive phone for me.

    Be careful. Nokia uses other cameras to take the pictures for their ads, and then claims that they were taken with the phone camera. Someone caught them on the street doing this . . . and took a picture with a phone camera, of course.

    I am the owner of a Nokia N90, N800, N96 and N9. But I don't trust Nokia any more, now that Microsoft is running the company.

  6. Re:The Matrix on Researchers Implant False Memories In Mice · · Score: 2

    Oh, philosophers have been bantering about this ever since the first one got his PhD and was unemployed for the rest of his life, and had nothing else better to do: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_in_a_vat

    In philosophy, the brain in a vat is an element used in a variety of thought experiments intended to draw out certain features of our ideas of knowledge, reality, truth, mind, and meaning. It is based on an idea, common to many science fiction stories, that a mad scientist, machine, or other entity might remove a person's brain from the body, suspend it in a vat of life-sustaining liquid, and connect its neurons by wires to a supercomputer which would provide it with electrical impulses identical to those the brain normally receives. According to such stories, the computer would then be simulating reality (including appropriate responses to the brain's own output) and the person with the "disembodied" brain would continue to have perfectly normal conscious experiences without these being related to objects or events in the real world.

    The brain in a vat is a contemporary version of the argument given in Hindu Maya illusion, Plato's Allegory of the Cave, Zhuangzi's "Zhuangzi dreamed he was a butterfly", and the evil demon in René Descartes' Meditations on First Philosophy.

  7. Re:And the memory said... on Researchers Implant False Memories In Mice · · Score: 1

    "More mouse than mouse" is our motto.

    But how will a mouse say, "I want more life, fucker!" . . . ?

  8. Re:Americans no better than foreigners on NSA Still Funded To Spy On US Phone Records · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's watchers . . . all the way down.

    Sadly, this isn't even funny, but rather the reality.

  9. Re:"Hey, can I cut into your lane?" on NTSB Calls For Wireless Tech To Enable Vehicles To Talk To Each Other · · Score: 1

    Hey, wireless assisted Road Rage!

    This will be a hoot and a half, when Lord Wez and his Road Warrior boys start raging around, one hand on the crossbow, one hand on the wireless gadget.

  10. Re:But now people in the US try to avoid it on US Gained a Decade of Flynn-Effect IQ Points After Adding Iodine To Salt · · Score: 2

    . . . so don't use the salt, and just take iodine . . . straight up, or on the rocks . . .

  11. Claymore mines work on Ask Slashdot: Setting Up Non-Obnoxious Outdoor Lighting? · · Score: 2

    Why not try using Claymore mines: http://www.amazon.com/Airsoft-Claymore-Wireless-Remote-Spring/dp/B0037MH646 ?

    They scare the living Bejesus out of wiggin' meth-heads.

  12. Re:You can't fix stupid on Fifteen Years After Autism Panic, a Plague of Measles Erupts · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I prefer, "some people are educated way beyond their intelligence."

  13. Legitimate order or not . . . ? on When the NSA Shows Up At Your Internet Company · · Score: 4, Interesting

    So, in TFA he said he was not allowed to make a copy of the order, but just take some notes about it. His attorney said it was legitimate . . . how?

    I mean, you can't take a copy yourself to a secret court to ask them if they authorized it. You could call up a number that they give you, but what does that prove? And the whole damn thing is supposed to be secret, so that nobody knows nothing anyway.

    Does anyone know how this works?

  14. Re:Whacko Fringe View on The Man Who Convinced Us We Needed Vitamin Supplements · · Score: 1

    There are always studies supporting an opposing view of anything and everything.

    Pharma companies wouldn't fund any vitamin C studies. Even if they found a new use for it . . . they can't patent vitamin C, and thus can't make any big profits from it.

    Maybe Monsanto will come along and create a genetically modified version of vitamin C . . . then they would fund studies proving that it can cure baldness, smelly feet, tooth decay, near-sightedness, high blood pressure, schizophrenia, ear aches, . . .

  15. Re:Core market decline + fail to launch in new one on Microsoft Stock Drops 11% In a Day · · Score: 1

    Gee, let's just replace Microsoft with IBM, PC with mainframe, and smartphones/tables with PCs. Class, that gives us:

    The traditional mainframe market has had 5 consequential quarters of decline. This is IBM's core market, where it makes much of its money.

    On top of that IBM has essentially failed to gain any traction in the the new growth markets of PCs

    So it is understandable that like the mainframe market, which is adjusting to some new smaller number of annual sales, IBM which makes it's income from those sales will adjust down to some new lower level of earnings, and a correspondingly lower stock price.

    Viola! It's just like twenty years ago. Maybe some of those stock trading boys are old enough to remember way back then . . .

  16. Re:Metro UI on Microsoft Stock Drops 11% In a Day · · Score: 5, Informative

    I do a lot of business traveling in Europe on trains, and just about all the passengers are fiddling with some electronic gadget or another. Business folks? Lenovo ThinkPads. Cooler business folks? MacBooks. Regular folks? Andriod tablets and iPads. Folks not wanting to be left out of the gadget party? Samsung Galaxy phones.

    I have never seen a Microsoft Surface of any breed or color.

    Of course, your mileage may vary. But I would have expected to have seen at least one. The only one I have ever seen, has been in a store.

  17. Re:Screw them on Alan Turing Likely To Be Given Posthumous Pardon · · Score: 4, Interesting

    In the UK, it's all about "who you know". Anthony Blunt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Blunt) was openly gay around the same time as Alan Turing. And he spied for Russia.

    But because he was the " Surveyor of the Queen’s Pictures", nothing ever happened to him.

    One rule of law for the elite, another for the commoners.

  18. Re:Nothing new here. on Gut Microbes Can Split a Species · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I hate your guts" is just a polite way of saying, "You have extraordinarily odorous flatulence."

    That's why dogs sniff each others' butts, to see if they are compatible as mates. Humans could learn from dogs, and instead of a quick chat during speed dating, just take a quick whiff of each others' butts.

    That's why evolution placed the sexual organs so close to the anal orifice. You're forced to check gut bacteria compatibility, before you mate.

    Unless you're prude, and just do missionary in the dark, with your clothes on.

  19. Re:NSA Datacenter on Collision Between Water and Energy Is Underway, and Worsening · · Score: 4, Funny

    the NSA surveillance center requires 1.7M gallons of water daily to operate.

    How else do expect them to get all that water-boarding done . . . ?

    Tip the veal, try the waitress . . .

  20. Re:Fire water? on Study Finds Fracking Chemicals Didn't Pollute Water · · Score: 3, Funny

    And suppose the fracking chemicals themselves don't migrate.

    . . . they could be carried by a swallow . . .

  21. Re:GPU programming is pain on Ask Slashdot: What Is the Most Painless Intro To GPU Programming? · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yeah, it would be like S&M without the pain . . . cute, but something essential is missing from the experience.

    Heidi Klum has a TV show call "Germany's Next Top Model". She basically gets all "Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS" on a bunch of neurotic, anorexic, pubescent girls, teaching them how a top model needs to suffer.

    Heidi Klum would make a good GPU programming instructor.

    . . . and even non-geeks would watch the show. A win-win for everyone.

  22. Re:One Million ... on Microsoft Has 1 Million Servers. So What? · · Score: 0

    They have one million servers,

    . . . and two million hands to deal with the Metro interface . . .

    but how many are running Linux?

    They won't tell you that. Otherwise, they would owe SCO and Darl McBride a lot of money for the license fees . . .

  23. Re:rule #1 on Comcast May Put Wi-Fi Transceivers On Cars, Buses, Humans · · Score: 1

    High speed trains offer WiFi access in Germany. I assume it works, but I never use it. I use a flat rate 3G for 20€ a month, and am fine with that.

    Of course, our friendly neighborhood NSA and DHS might find some uses for it At the customs check:

    "Good new, sir, we won't be taking your photograph and thumbprint! However, as a foreigner, you will be required to carry this WiFi transceiver at all times. Enjoy your stay! We'll be interested in seeing where you choose to visit."

  24. Re:Well, I guess that answers the question... on The CIA Wants To Know How To Control the Climate · · Score: 2

    Global warming is real.

    . . . if it's not real, the CIA will now be able to make it real for us . . .

  25. Maybe it was just an old German V-1 . . . ? on German Drone Darts Off and Hits Transport Plane On Ground · · Score: 1

    You know, like, they just forgot to update the firmware about who the allies and enemies are? And so it just did its old job of hitting an American air base . . . ?

    Seems plausible to me.

    Maybe.