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User: PolygamousRanchKid+

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  1. Can you program yourself out of a paper bag? on Why We Should Teach Our Kids To Code · · Score: 1

    If the answer is "no," then don't bother trying to learn computer programming.

    No amount of education, expensive tools and technology will solve that problem that most humans have.

  2. Re:How much is a political bribe in Canadian dolla on The Behind-the-Scenes Campaign To Bring SOPA To Canada · · Score: 2

    If you look at the global rankings, http://cpi.transparency.org/cpi2011/results/, Canada's politicians are rated higher than US ones, which means less corrupt, and therefore, more expensive.

    In Uzbekistan they are really cheap, but what would you do with your bought politicians there?

    Those Scandinavians will cost you a bundle . . .

  3. Just pick a religion from their list . . . on Indonesian Man Faces Five Years For Atheist Facebook Post · · Score: 5, Interesting

    FTFA:

    Indonesia, the world’s most populous Muslim nation, recognises the right to practice six religions in total: Islam, Protestant, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhism and Confucianism. Atheism is, however, illegal.

    I'd go with Confucianism. If nobody can understand what he said, nobody can understand if you are practicing it or not.

    If you live amongst a horde of unpredictable religious fanatics, it's best to keep your mouth shut.

    My God told me so.

  4. Re:60 cars on A Data Center That Looks Like a Mansion · · Score: 1

    ... 60 parking spaces ...

    3 parking spaces for the local staff.

    0 parking spaces for the outsourced remote staff in India, China, etc.

  5. Pay attention to compiler warnings! on Web Developer Sentenced To Death In Iran · · Score: 4, Insightful

    You know, it's easy to just glaze over things like, "conversion from int to long," "unused variable," or "insulting and desecrating the principles of Islam." But it's better to fix them . . . it may save your life!

  6. Re:Special lawyer rights on Lawyer Demands Pacemaker Vendor Supply Source Code · · Score: 1

    It she weren't a lawyer, we wouldn't even be speaking about it.

    Is she weren't no lawyer, she wouldn't be able to afford one to litigate for her . . . or maybe she is litigating for herself . . .

  7. Turn it into a Moldavian Bimbo Brothel . . . on What To Do With a 1,000 Foot Wrecked Cruise Ship? · · Score: 1

    . . . apparently, this process had already been started on the bridge of the ship before, during and after the accident . . .

    . . . "Bang a Moldavian Bimbo in the Brothel on the Bridge" . . . it would definitely sell . . .

  8. Increase Office Efficiency With "Cloud Window" on Samsung Reinvents Windows (Not the OS) With Touchscreen Display · · Score: 2

    These windows should look nice with this ceiling together: http://idle.slashdot.org/story/12/01/05/1517243/germans-increase-office-efficiency-with-cloud-ceiling

    Perpetual good weather outside! I feel great, and work better!

    I had to use a link to Slashdot, because Wikipedia Links are, like, so out, today.

    Now my only problem is that I have to replace my broken windows often. Rocks get hurled through them, flaming Native American arrows get shot through them, and even I manage to damage them when plinking with great-great-granddaddy's 'ole Gatling.

    Fix that for me, Samsung.

  9. Cool title for an executive . . . on Apple Intends To 'Digitally Destroy' Textbook Publishing · · Score: 1

    Interviewer: "So, Dr. Shiva, what are your responsibilities at Apple?"

    Executive: "Well, as 'Director of Digital Destruction' at Apple . . . "

    I'm surprised they didn't give it some schmaltzy name, like, "Re-birthing of New Education, for the Age of Aquarius Epoch" . . .

    "Digital Destruction" is bound to get the attention of the DHS, TSA and their pals . . . "Hey, they're planning to destroy our Homeland Industry!"

  10. Re:All those people... on China Internet Users Hit Half a Billion · · Score: 2

    Never mind the IP addresses, I wondered if they were running out of Chinese names, and found this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1554330/Too-many-Wangs-as-China-runs-out-of-names.html

    Is mistaken identity a problem on the Internet there . . . ?

  11. The only wireless communication you need in Church on Ask Slashdot: Setting Up a Wireless Catch-and-Release · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    . . . is between Him and yourself; during silent prayer. He doesn't charge outrageous rates for crappy service, and He doesn't throttle traffic either. There is no need for gadgets that do the Devil's work in a Sunday school class: God, the Book and the Rod is all you need.

    Seriously, is maybe one hour a week a little to long to go without our life's electric information and communication traveling symbiotic companions?

    What's God's twitter channel anyway, maybe I should listen in? Isn't Facebook problematic for Allah, because he doesn't like seeing pictures of himself and Mohammed?

  12. What do they do with the sheep organs . . . ? on Sweden Experiments With Public Twitter Takeover · · Score: 4, Funny

    Adam Arnesson, a 21-year-old organic sheep farmer

    So did he twit what he does with his harvested organs? Are they used for the stem cell fresh blood car washing therapy from yesterday?

    Prior Art: Doesn't London have a park where any wing-nut can stand up on a soapbox and spew nonsensical non sequiturs to a gullible crowd, who would rather be assimilated than think for themselves?

    I guess that really sums up the Internet today, actually.

    Democratic? Hardly. I never voted for him, and neither did any Swede. But I guess in this case, one twit is as good as the next.

    "Who's been sleeping in my brain . . . ?"

  13. The first one to claim email overtime . . . on Workers In Brazil Can Claim Overtime For Answering Email After Hours · · Score: 4, Funny

    . . . will be the last one to receive a promotion . . .

    Dynamically weight and sort promotion list based on willingness to do overtime email for free.

    Patent this.

  14. . . . and it won't just stop in the US . . . on How SOPA & PIPA Could Hurt Scientific Debate · · Score: 2

    ... it seems that the US is committed to bullying other countries into enacting these laws themselves . . . or else . . .

  15. Most drivers can't even deal with "reality" on Carmakers Prepare For Augmented Reality Driving · · Score: 2

    . . . "augmented reality" would be too much for them to handle.

    Unfortunately, they won't notice it until things go "crash!"

    And then claim that it was the car's fault.

  16. Re:Securty. on Passwords Not Going Away Any Time Soon · · Score: 1

    Still, some users will always find a way to muck things up.

    "Nothing can be made foolproof, because fools are so ingenious."

    care keys ( something you have)

    You'll lose it.

    thumb print ( something you are)

    Like, dead. "We have his key, but his thumb is decomposed, so we can't open it anymore."

    password/ pass phrase/ etc. ( something you know)

    You'll forget it.

    You want to have a truly secure system? Get rid of any humans in the system.

  17. Occupy Senate ... except, they wouldn't notice ... on Protect IP Act May Be Amended · · Score: 1

    . . . most Senators just show up to vote once in a while anyway . . .

    . . . the rest of their time they spend out somewhere else . . . um, . . . like doing Senate business . . .

  18. I think 12 atoms should be enough for everyone ... on IBM Shrinks Bit Size To 12 Atoms · · Score: 3, Informative

    . . . now as to shrinking that scanning tunneling microscope . . . that might take a while . . .

    Is anyone aware of how "big" they are . . . I'm not thinking that the word "small" is appropriate . . .

  19. Why do IBM employees patent? on IBM Tops "Most Patents List" For 19th Straight Year · · Score: 1

    Obviously, IBM is giving them some financial incentive to do so. Maybe they have "frequent patent-er points" . . . with 100, you get a mainframe or a Rational license. It also means that IBM values patents highly enough, that they give employees time to spend researching and writing them. It would seem that IBM's patent business strategy is financially successful for them.

    So any other company could do the same, and direct their employees to patent their work, or even ideas that haven't been implemented yet. It's just a business question if a company can make money off patents. This leads to the cranking out of questionably patentable ideas.

    I know that advocating patent factories is not particularly popular on Slashdot. I must be nude here.

    But it seems that, at the moment, it works well as a business model.

  20. Using that knife, MacGyver builds . . . on Victorinox Makes 1TB Swiss Army Knife · · Score: 1

    . . . a whole data center! . . . with some junk he finds lying around . . .

    . . . and creates a world wide social network . . . and all the members help him save the world and escape . . .

    Victorinox: "Yes, that was what we envisioned that could be done with our new knife . . ."

  21. Re:So, what am I going to do with all these rats? on Nanosensors Could Help Reduce Laboratory Animal Testing · · Score: 2

    4) The SOPA supporters whip out their lizard tongues, hang the rats over their gaping jaws, and slowly swallow them.

    . . . you did know that the Visitors are behind SOPA, didn't you . . . ?

  22. Due to subtle variations in the Earth's orbit ...? on Carbon Emissions 'Will Defer Ice Age' · · Score: 0

    Now, what did we do to cause that? Maybe if we all just sit down and be still, the Earth's orbit will stop variating?

    If the Earth's orbit is variating, it's because we did something bad, and we had better change our ways . . .

  23. 1 Kilowatt per child? on Kenya Seeks Nuclear Power Infrastructure · · Score: 2

    Maybe we should start sending folks in Africa electricity, instead of gadgets that use electricity?

  24. So the visiting politician asks, "What are GPUs?" on Chinese Lab Speeds Through Genome Processing With GPUs · · Score: 1

    "GPUs . . . ? . . . I was informed that this project was powered by GNUs . . . ?"

    ". . . now where is that Apple MAC chip that generates the GPL number that allows the PC to connect to the Internet . . . ?"

  25. Chump change for Richard Branson . . . on Chance To Snap Up Your Own Observatory · · Score: 2

    Why doesn't he rent the place and turn it into a publicity center for his pseudo-space flight program? You know, future passengers can sip champagne and chat and rub shoulders with other folks with too much money? Take a peek through a real telescope, that is looking at outer space!

    ". . . oh, space, yes . . . that's where we're going . . . yes . . . so that's what we'll see up there . . . ? . . . jolly good, yes . . ."

    Plus he could score some good PR points by letting the astronomers use it for free.

    "Virgin Promiscuous is committed to satisfying the needs of science . . . ", etc.