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User: PolygamousRanchKid+

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  1. . . . and in English, she told ISPs . . . on Germany Legislates For Mandatory Web Filters · · Score: 1

    Vee haf Vays, of making you block", and slapped them in the face with her black leather gloves, that matched perfectly with her black leather coat.

    Ilsa, she-wolf of the Internet.

    FTFA, she also stated: "Die meisten Menschen werden diese Stopp-Seite nie sehen." Which means something like, "Most people will never see this stop (block) page."

    ... until the BKA boys add heise.de, spiegel.de or bild.de to the list.

  2. Follow the pork, Luke on How Will Recent Financial Downturns Affect IT Jobs? · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Major hiring industries for the next few years, are going to be anyone, directly or indirectly, who receives a slice of the pork pie that the US government will be distributing.

    Follow the news, and prepare applications for any industry that is looking for government money. If the industry gets rebuffed by the government, oh well.

    If an industry gets some pork, send them your applications immediately.

    Good, healthy companies are just going to ride out the next couple of years with the folks that they have, and won't be hiring.

  3. Proof of Alien Apollo Missions on Chandrayaan Maps Apollo Missions · · Score: 1

    Well, this all seems pretty obvious to me. Chandrayaan found the landing sites of 6 Apollo missions, but only 5 of them came from the Earth (Apollo 11, 12, 14 15 and 17). So when they find the site of Apollo 16, that will leave them with a total of 7. But the NASA only did 6 missions to the moon! So who did the seventh?

    Obviously, aliens. We are not alone. And they have been *real* near us; on the Moon.

    Watch the sky tonight, and all nights from now on.

    You have been warned.

  4. Calm down, Chandrayaan is safe in Area 51 on Chandrayaan Maps Apollo Missions · · Score: 3, Funny

    The Indian Space Agency is just receiving data that it *thinks* is coming from the moon, and not from a desert in Nevada.

    The space shuttle caught Chandrayaan on its last mission, and brought it back to Earth. The space shuttle carried a giant baseball shortstop's glove fitted to the shuttle's robot arm to perform the catch. The Philadelphia Phillies advised on the project, and were paid in Jim's cheese steaks, as not to leave a financial paper trail.

    Once in Area 51, sinister scientists there had no problem to electronically feed it with bogus data, so Chandrayaan thinks that it has really reached to moon.

    Including, of course, photos of sites on the moon where the fake Apollo landings supposedly took place.

    It all seems pretty logical to me.

  5. Please don't give McBride any ideas . . . on SCO Proposes Sale of Assets To Continue Litigation · · Score: 1

    . . . he'd probably try anything.

    He'll have to stand in line behind the porn industry, of course.

    Although, maybe he already got some money from the bank bailout pot. Who knows, since the banks aren't telling the government where it is being spent.

  6. How about an artificial reef? on The Scope of US E-Waste · · Score: 2, Funny

    Let's just pick an appropriate spot in the worlds oceans, and build one of these with the E-Waste: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_reef

    Divers would love to see baby Moray eels popping out of the slot in old VCRs.

    I wouldn't worry about the hazardous material being toxic. Many of the oceans' species are millions of years old, they know how to deal with toxic waste.

    Probably.

  7. I'd add a Kung Fu program . . . on A Robotic Bartender, and How To Build One · · Score: 1

    it mixes it for them right there and hands it to them, then moves on.

    Instead of just moving on, it could give a demo of "Drunken Monkey Form" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drunken_Monkey_Kung-Fu).

    Encourage the guests to imitate the robot's moves, and stage competitions.

    Now *that* would be cool.

    Except that afterward, the location would probably be trashed, with all those fists smashing tables and chairs and stuff.

  8. Re:I don't get it on Windows 7 Beta Released To Public After Delay · · Score: 5, Funny

    Have you installed Windows 7 Beta?

    Did your computer grow a Charlie Chaplin mustache, and goose-around the room, ranting nonsense?

    Did your computer declare all non-Microsoft devices in your house to be "racially impure?"

    Did your computer invade Poland? France? Bomb England?

    Did Tom Cruise make a half-assed effort to assassinate your computer?

    Thank you, for participating in this Windows 7 early experiences survey.

  9. Re:This won't work on A Robotic Bartender, and How To Build One · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just keep on drinking . . . it will . . . eventually . . .

  10. I think Bender would say something like . . . on A Robotic Bartender, and How To Build One · · Score: 1

    . . . "imagine how much booze and cigars I could have bought with the money that was spent on building that robot!"

    Although, I think that Bender's favorite drink is, "that, for which someone else has paid for!"

  11. Is an A380 big enough? on USAF Seeks Air Force One Replacement · · Score: 4, Funny

    Presidents tend to have pretty big egos, so maybe the space is needed.

    On the other hand, the Senate scolded the American Big Three for their corporate jets. Maybe the Air Force should be a better role model, and go for something smaller.

    I was thinking of something like this: http://www.jamesbondmm.co.uk/vehicles/little-nellie?id=002

    The President could have some real fun with that, and it would add teeth to his domestic and foreign policy.

  12. "The Economist" on Polish Labor in Ireland on Dell Closes Ireland Plant; 2nd Largest Employer · · Score: 1

    "The Economist" had an interesting article relative to this a while back: http://www.economist.com/world/europe/displaystory.cfm?story_id=12676787

    Some interesting tidbits:

    "BY THE best guesses of Polish diplomats, a couple of thousand Poles lived in Ireland at the start of 2004, including 200 emigres left from the second world war. Three years later Ireland was home to more than a quarter of a million Poles, according to consular estimates."

    "A torrent of EU regional aid is about to hit the ex-communist countries: across eastern and central Europe there are plans for new airports, fast trains and motorways. Poland has stadiums to build for the European football championship in 2012. The Polish and Lithuanian governments are actively trawling for workers in Ireland."

  13. Cooking Instructions? on More Brains Needed · · Score: 2, Funny

    They seem to be missing.

  14. Re:Mmmm, Brains on More Brains Needed · · Score: 1

    I dunno. I kinda like the idea of my dead body parts causing a few laughs, after I am dead.

    Toe in a taco? Butt in a burger?

    I just hope that this doesn't increase medical students appetite for human flesh.

  15. What happened to Homer Simpson, with no TV? on Obama Recommends Delay In Digital TV Switch · · Score: 1

    I seem to remember that it was a parody of "The Shining".

    The US has enough problems right now. They don't need a bunch of TV-starved psychos running around, killing their families, as well.

  16. I'm not familiar with Lexus models . . . on Lexus To Start Spamming Car Buyers In Their Cars · · Score: 1

    . . . are they too big to shove up a Lexus executive's ass?

  17. Re:Slashdotism on Ballmer Sets Loose Windows 7 Public Beta At CES · · Score: 1

    Meanwhile, the enraged sister of Steve Ballmer is rampaging through Las Vegas, throwing chairs, and screaming: "Who called my brother loose!?!?"

  18. Other uses besides gaming? on NVIDIA Offers 3D Glasses For the Masses · · Score: 1

    I'm not a gamer, so I immediately began to think of other 3D exploration uses:

    • Flying around Mount Everest
    • Flying through Manhattan
    • Flying over the Hawaiian Islands

    But I *didn't* think of porn. I should go see a doctor, there must be something wrong with me.

  19. Give the disk to my girlfriend . . . on "Smash Your Hard Drive" To Fight Identity Theft · · Score: 4, Funny

    . . . and tell her to put it in a safe place, and that you might need it later.

    It's gone forever.

    There is no chance that anyone will ever have access to that disk again.

  20. Re:Fiat? on All of Vietnam's Government Computers To Use Linux, By Fiat · · Score: 2, Funny

    Fiat also means: decree: a legally binding command or decision entered on the court record (as if issued by a court or judge);

    Fiat also means:

    • Fix It Again, Tony.
    • Fucking Italian Automotive Trash.

    Ford means:

    • Found On Road Dead
    • Fix Or Repair Daily

    Vietnam has a population of 86 million, 4 million larger than that of Germany, and is one of the world's fastest-growing economies.

    So what the hell does that quote supposed to mean? Compared to the populations and economies of China or India, the rest of the world is chump change.

    Or will my next Porsche be a Viet-Porsche?

  21. Australian Rabbits on Russia's Mars Mission Raising Concerns · · Score: 2, Funny

    Let's send some Australian Rabbits (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbits_in_Australia) to Mars instead.

    The idea of importing rabbits into Australia seems to have worked out ok.

    And the soil of Australia is red, just like Mars.

    This should work.

  22. Re:No one lives for ever ... on Apple's Life After Steve Jobs · · Score: 5, Insightful

    But a less charismatic person could make different decisions that get Apple way more into the main stream.

    Like Dell or Gateway?

    No, like John Scully.

    No, thanks.

    More, like, NO THANKS! Scully's time at Apple was disastrous. While everyone at the time said that "mainstream" line was the best strategy for Apple.

  23. And Internet Porn? on Playing Tetris Is Good For You · · Score: 1

    As a control, the researchers should have given another test group access to an "Internet full of Porn" (IFOP).

    If you RTFA, the researchers showed "distressing pictures" to the subjects, and then they played Tetris. Afterward, they had little memory of the "distressing pictures".

    They should do this again, but instead of playing Tetris, let them surf the IFOP.

    Afterward, they will have NO memory of the "distressing pictures".

  24. Great: Paper Industry Bailout? on Dr. Dobb's Journal Going Web-Only · · Score: 1

    Yet Another Bailout (YAB)?

    Well, I hope that the paper industry executives have the common sense to fly to Washington, DC in paper planes, instead of corporate jets.

  25. Re:phone next? on Apple Introduces "MacBook Wheel" · · Score: 5, Interesting

    If this isn't on the iPhone AppStore already, it will be real soon. Enough folks would shell out a few bucks for the novetly of it.

    "Hey, look at me! I can dial my iPhone, just like in those old movies!"

    Mount your iPhone in a shoe, and you can play Maxwell Smart. Now that would really freak people out, when your shoe rings, and you take it off to answer it.