- The version with the automatic transmission would have 4 drive gears that all work differently, that way you can pick one from an individual that you like.
Be minimally dexterous, get a standard shift.
- Instead of intuitive buttons on the steering column to turn on windshield wipers and so on, you have a patch board complete with a very nice array of differing lengths of cable.
Better than buttons. You'll be able to tell if the cable is plugged in. The cables are also labelled with WORDS, not "guess-what-I-do" inkblots.
- The driver of the car has to understand how the internal combustion engine works before he can go anywhere in it.
Easier than understanding how you click START to shut down.
- More than one steering wheel can be added to the car, afterall it is a multi-user OS.
Sounds like a Drivers Ed car. They have multiple brake pedals, too.
- The gas door would be located underneath the car so that gas doesn't have to go as far to reach the tank. A bottleneck is removed that way.
Been there, done that. Under the plate, bottom of the bumper.
- The key to get into the door can only fit one right side up, afterall it is case sensitive.
As it should be. If you put it in upside down and try to turn it, it'll break.
- The 'ding ding' noise when you start the car without the seatbelt fastened won't go off because the sound drivers don't work.
Thank God!! Much easier than dicking with fuses and rewiring to shut that fucking beeper off.
- The car wouldn't come with headlights because only newbs need to be able to see where they're going.
Only people who can install the lights properly should be allowed to drive. If you can't plug a lightbulb in, you're too stupid to drive.
Outlook session on remote machine through Citrix (no idea about the costs)
If you have a Windows 2000 server set up as a Terminal server, you can use the remote frame-buffer package to connect using RDP. Mandrake includes rfbdrake, a GUI front-end for the program. Best part is, it lets you connect as a "Windows 2000" PC, using a Windows CAL. Saves paying for a Citrix Server.
On the subject of red staplers, why has the post WWII workplace insisted on mono-color conformity? It seems almost a conspiracy to ensure that office workers be isolated from as much visual stimulation as possible.
Skinner: "Uh, oh. Two Independent Thought Alarms in one day. The employees are overstimulated. Willie! Remove all the colored staplers from the cubicles." Willie: "I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya?! Those colored staplers were forged by Lucifer himself!"
It's about time, I was starting to think that we'd never blow stuff up with light.
My grandmother did that for a living at one point. She worked at a photo studio. Photo labs have been using light to blow stuff up for a long time now.
Someone opened up my lunch bag one day and took my roast beef/horseradish sandwich.
Place I used to work at, someone kept doing that to one of the machinists. He got even by making a dog-shit sandwich and bringing it in his lunchbag. He discovered it was one of the janitors when the janitor puked in his trashcan. The machinist had no further troubles.
Cue Mark Hamill: "Luke be a Jedi tonight! Just be a Jedi tonight!" Chorus: "Do it for Yoda, while we serve our guests a soda." Hamill: "Uh, and do it for Chewie and the Ewoks, and all the other puppets..."
Slashdot Mirror
"Was that you?"
"Uhhh, no. My laptop's cooler was burping again." *thump-thump* "goddamthing"
- The version with the automatic transmission would have 4 drive gears that all work differently, that way you can pick one from an individual that you like.
Be minimally dexterous, get a standard shift.
- Instead of intuitive buttons on the steering column to turn on windshield wipers and so on, you have a patch board complete with a very nice array of differing lengths of cable.
Better than buttons. You'll be able to tell if the cable is plugged in. The cables are also labelled with WORDS, not "guess-what-I-do" inkblots.
- The driver of the car has to understand how the internal combustion engine works before he can go anywhere in it.
Easier than understanding how you click START to shut down.
- More than one steering wheel can be added to the car, afterall it is a multi-user OS.
Sounds like a Drivers Ed car. They have multiple brake pedals, too.
- The gas door would be located underneath the car so that gas doesn't have to go as far to reach the tank. A bottleneck is removed that way.
Been there, done that. Under the plate, bottom of the bumper.
- The key to get into the door can only fit one right side up, afterall it is case sensitive.
As it should be. If you put it in upside down and try to turn it, it'll break.
- The 'ding ding' noise when you start the car without the seatbelt fastened won't go off because the sound drivers don't work.
Thank God!! Much easier than dicking with fuses and rewiring to shut that fucking beeper off.
- The car wouldn't come with headlights because only newbs need to be able to see where they're going.
Only people who can install the lights properly should be allowed to drive. If you can't plug a lightbulb in, you're too stupid to drive.
They are simply going to use the site to sell more virus protection software.
That's a very narrow view to take. I bet they'll be trying to find ways to flog pcAnywhere, Ghost and WinFax, too.
withoutaclocksignal,howcanyoutellwhenoneinstructio nstopsandanotherbegins?
When the Slashcode Lameness Injector inserts a space for you.
A hundred gigabits per second?
It needs to be fast. Those Xenon servers are a real gas.
"Am I on Candid Camera?"
"What a big Start Button you have, Grandma!"
"We work hard, and we play hard!"
May your hemerrhoids shrink without surgery.
I sit on the floor and pick my nose,
And think of dirty things.
Of deviant Dwarves who suck their toes,
And Elves who drub their dings.
1. [whisper] Cover for me.
2. Oooo, good idea, boss!
3. It was like that when I got here.
--Homer
Is this the Superman vs. Batman movie that has been rumored? Superman lives in Metropolis, right?
I half expected to see Tom's Hardware listed as a porn site.
Ad
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Whoring
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It
Why doesn't Bill Gates do something really cool for humanity...?
Checking...
.
.
Temperature of Hell: Off the charts.
.
.
Pigs: Still firmly on the ground.
Actually, peeing on your own feet kills athelete's foot fungus.
Supposedly, it helps after being stung by a jellyfish, too.
Outlook session on remote machine through Citrix (no idea about the costs)
If you have a Windows 2000 server set up as a Terminal server, you can use the remote frame-buffer package to connect using RDP. Mandrake includes rfbdrake, a GUI front-end for the program. Best part is, it lets you connect as a "Windows 2000" PC, using a Windows CAL. Saves paying for a Citrix Server.
At least you're not alone.
On the subject of red staplers, why has the post WWII workplace insisted on mono-color conformity? It seems almost a conspiracy to ensure that office workers be isolated from as much visual stimulation as possible.
Skinner: "Uh, oh. Two Independent Thought Alarms in one day. The employees are overstimulated. Willie! Remove all the colored staplers from the cubicles."
Willie: "I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya?! Those colored staplers were forged by Lucifer himself!"
It's about time, I was starting to think that we'd never blow stuff up with light.
My grandmother did that for a living at one point. She worked at a photo studio. Photo labs have been using light to blow stuff up for a long time now.
Better yet, the Hammurderer vs. Batman.
Someone opened up my lunch bag one day and took my roast beef/horseradish sandwich.
Place I used to work at, someone kept doing that to one of the machinists. He got even by making a dog-shit sandwich and bringing it in his lunchbag. He discovered it was one of the janitors when the janitor puked in his trashcan. The machinist had no further troubles.
I'd be happy if they had regular Dr. Pepper instead of just diet
But it's true, Diet Dr. Pepper DOES taste like regular Dr. Pepper. They BOTH taste like shit.
Ad-sponsored OS/Desktop?
Just let me know when Ad-aware runs on it, would you?
Maybe Lucas will turn EP III into a musical?
..."
Cue Mark Hamill: "Luke be a Jedi tonight! Just be a Jedi tonight!"
Chorus: "Do it for Yoda, while we serve our guests a soda."
Hamill: "Uh, and do it for Chewie and the Ewoks, and all the other puppets
"Homer... use the forks..."