Intel today announced its new 1024-bit (1 kilobit) microprocessor architecture technology. Named the Shiitakeum, Intel's new processor core boasts powerful new technologies which will enable content providers to deliver compelling enterprise solutions.
The Shiitakeum has the following new features:
SingleAtom technology squeezes the entire processor into a single atom which contains over a million protons with modified quark structure. The instability caused by the enormous number of protons causes the processor to decompose with a half-life of under.000000000000000000000001 microseconds. The processor takes full advantage of this characteristic of heavy atoms and uses an antigravity-like technology to push the protons into the proper configuration. The processor executes its instructions through constant realignment of its protons.
The processing pipeline has been broken down into 299,792,458 discreet steps, enabling Intel to remove the internal clock altogether and run the processor at the speed of light. One "cycle" represents the absolute cosmic measure unit of time, and all operations occur in one cycle.
24,856 new instructions have been added since the previous model, bringing the new total to over 72 trillion instructions. All SCO intellectual property can be programmed in one instruction, increasing SCO revenues due to legal action.
RAM has been depreciated. 4 exabytes of internal general-use registers allow software to make more efficient data access, providing a more compelling Internet experience.
Intel (r) AnswerNow (tm) Technology bends the space-time continuum, allowing the results of branch instructions and mathematical operations to be used before they are computed. The computations take place during idle cycles at some future time.
Intel (r) CodeSpirit (tm) Technology processes machine code by its spirit, rather than its letter, completely eliminating software bugs and preventing malicious code, such as a virus, from executing.
Intel (r) AlienCode (tm) Technology, based on CodeSpirit, allows users to execute programs written for any other processor, without previous knowledge of that processor's instruction set. The technology examines and "decyphers" the instructions and data in much the same way that scientists decypher written languages used by past civilizations. Via AnswerNow and CodeSpirit technologies, programs written for other processors actually run faster and better on Intel platforms than on their native processor. As a side effect, the processor now directly executes programs and scripts written in Java or any P-code or text-based language. In fact, even instructions spelled out in English are understood and executed by the processor.
Intel (r) BrainWaves (tm) Technology allows the processor to read and write information in the user's mind. The processor is given away for free, and based on the user's thoughts, targetted advertisements are inserted directly into the user's mind. The process is painless, and simply feels like a song stuck in your head. A nominal (i.e., expensive) fee can be paid daily to eliminate the advertisements.
Intel (r) NoPower (tm) Technology allows the processor to run by harnessing the energy present in the universe on a quantum scale. No electric current is required to operate the processor and since it consumes the energy present in the physical matter from which it is made, the processor absorbs all heat it might otherwise generate, operating as a perpetual energy source. This also causes the processor to run at 0 Kelvin, making it the coolest running processor ever released.
After several months of endless SCO stories, my ability to resist posting about Scumware Crotchless Operation has all but completely worn away.
Upon reading this post, one realizes that it closely resembles going to dinner with a buddy, asking, "How's business?" and writing it off as a business expense. Further, this post closely resembles a sandwich that appears large but, once eaten, proves unsatisfyingly small. A staid, steadfast comment, it resembles a pantomime of images.
Because this post is supposed to be about SCO, Darl McBribe / McBlackmail / McExtort / McThreaten / McLose / Mc-Go-To-Jail-Do-Not-Pass-Go-Do-Not-Collect-Two-Hu ndred-Billion-Dollars. But the meat of this post is decidedly unsatisfying: SCO is trying to play hard ball with the big boys when SCO, unfit even to be called a little boy, is barely a hole in some dead goat's ass. (See what I mean about "pantomime of images?" And that's a pretty gross image, if you ask me.)
This post constitutes gobbledygook. Like the unfulfilling sandwich, it first appears large but contains nothing of value. And what the author has done fits well within the aforementioned business dinner analogy, as the author has said about 2 words that were on topic, yet all that followed diverted from that original focus, nay, is completely off topic.
Just like SCO's business plan.
By the way, check out Verity Stob in the September, 2003 issue of Dr. Dobbs Journal... I've never liked Verity Stob before, but this month's column is almost as good as some of the Bastard Operator From Hell episodes.
The solution to this problem is surprisingly simple:
The companies that are dropping support for these games are doing so for a simple reason: They are no longer profitable and are therefore supporting them produces nothing but expense. The property rights remain but the game becomes a victim of bitrot and disappears forever.
The solution is to make these games profitable for the companies that own them. One way of doing this is to handle game rights the same way the Blender rights were handled: Get a bunch of people to donate a little bit of money and then make the company an offer to buy the rights, source code, schematics, and whatever other property makes up the games. To the companies, the choice is simple: Either throw away this game that nobody (they think) cares about, or let a bunch of geeks buy it off them for some money.
I think an organization of some sorts could be put together to accept donations and buy the rights to all kinds of old products, not just games. Anything "classic" or still useful. People donating money could specify all kinds of products they would like to preserve. Kind of like those, "We buy old houses!" or, "We buy old cars!" companies.
After several months of endless SCO stories, my ability to resist posting about Scumware Crotchless Operation has all but completely worn away.
Upon reading this post, one realizes that it closely resembles going to dinner with a buddy, asking, "How's business?" and writing it off as a business expense. Further, this post closely resembles a sandwich that appears large but, once eaten, proves unsatisfyingly small. A staid, steadfast comment, it resembles a pantomime of images.
Because this post is supposed to be about SCO, Darl McBribe / McBlackmail / McExtort / McThreaten / McLose / Mc-Go-To-Jail-Do-Not-Pass-Go-Do-Not-Collect-Two-Hu ndred-Billion-Dollars. But the meat of this post is decidedly unsatisfying: SCO is trying to play hard ball with the big boys when SCO, unfit even to be called a little boy, is barely a hole in some dead goat's ass. (See what I mean about "pantomime of images?" And that's a pretty gross image, if you ask me.)
This post constitutes gobbledygook. Like the unfulfilling sandwich, it first appears large but contains nothing of value. And what the author has done fits well within the aforementioned business dinner analogy, as the author has said about 2 words that were on topic, yet all that followed diverted from that original focus, nay, is completely off topic.
As the mastermind behind this innovative post, I feel as though it is my responsibility to inform you of something quite important: After getting quite a ways down this post, you'll come to realize that it's a lot like going to dinner with your buddy, saying, "How's business?" and writing it off as a business expense. A staid, steadfast comment, its life more closely resembles a pantomime of images, as opposed to a tame chapter of sounds. Because by leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions. As common sense would indicate, when one reads gobbledygook like this, one is bound to realize that what the author has done fits well within the aforementioned business dinner analogy, as the author has said about 2 words that were on topic, yet all that followed diverted from that original focus, nay, is completely off topic.
If MS fires me, can I do whatever I want with a Windows CVS, like develop it into another product?
Microsoft uses CVS to develop Windows? I always knew there was somethingfishy going on!
On a more serious note... for future reference: If you have something like CDs with source code that you know you are NOT supposed to have, just shut up and don't go telling the whole world about it. Otherwise you could get into all kinds of trouble.
Uh, yeah, we got 100 people, such as old geezers, home boys, veteranos and nomads from the African desert, none of whom have ever seen a computer before. We asked them to install Linux From Scratch on an as-yet-unsupported architecture, and build a complete desktop machine, using assembly language in place of any scripts that they may have to write.
Then, we got Bill Gates and asked him to copy a file using Windows XP.
The 100 people looked at a blank black screen and commented that they have no idea what to do and that Linux can only be appreciated by geeks.
Bill Gates said that Windows XP is great and that he will undoubtedly continue using it instead of switching to Linux.
In other words, 0% of the people who tested Linux liked it. 100% of the people who tested Windows liked it.
This is an exaggeration, of course, but when you put 65 people on Linux and 20 people on Windows, that is automatically unfair.
A more fair experiment would have been to get 100 people. 50 would start on Linux; 50 would start on Windows. After some elapsed time, each group would switch. This evens things out quite a bit.
But then again... What do you expect from a bunch of Germans? I mean, this is where Jagermeister comes from, people!
How and why in the "f" word did they get to patent this "invention?" I have a serious problem with this and here is what it is: The patent system exists in order that inventors can get a temporary monopoly on their invention as incentive to tell the world how it is done, so that humanity as a whole can benefit from it long after it is no longer a viable business for the inventor. By this definition, and yes, I know that the patent system is all screwed up, shouldn't inventors at least be required to demonstrate a working, functioning, real invention before they can secure a patent on it? It is obvious that this company did not actually get this friggen thing to work. By that logic, I should be able to patent about 100 ideas that I have every day, just because they would be cool if they ever worked, but won't, because I'm not actually going to build it, and nobody else will either, until the patent expires, because I am going to charge ridiculous fees for the use of my valuable intellectual property, which doesn't exist, not only because it is simply an idea that has no physical incarnation, but also because nobody has ever built the damn thing before.
And if, by some fscked up logic, you are allowed to patent ideas that have no implementation, what's stopping all the movie producers who portrayed things like this in their movies from patenting this or any other idea seen in a futuristic movie. Hey, I got one... How 'bout patenting cyborgs? Hmmm... Good deal.
Just like how one slow driver on the street causes a traffic jam that lasts hours, even on roads with many lanes. It should be allowed to beat the crap out of people like that. If you want to take your sweet time driving down the street, pull over and let the 10 billion people who actually need to get where they're going pass you, you dumb fuck.
Typing with cold hands? I don't think that would make things too difficult, although it would undoubtedly make your hands a little stiffer, so you'd get typos, but you can always 'backspace' over those.
I would be a lot more concerned about people who try to play the guitar (or any stringed instrument) with cold hands. This is extremely difficult to do, as your fingers don't bend just right, consequently hitting the wrong string or not hitting any string at all, missing it by a tiny distance. This degrades the quality of your performance. And there is no 'backspace' string on the guitar.
Buy one of those $500.00 computers that comes with Windows XP preinstalled. Drag them to small claims court over the $199.00 price of Windows. The computer has just cost you $301.00. Hmmm... Good deal!
I would set up a system of prerequisites, like they have in colleges or something, where the one main prerequisite to everything else is Computers 101: Assembly Programming with the Zilog z80 Microprocessor. After that, you can teach them how to use Windows XP; you know, things like how to move a mouse cursor, how to minimize and maximize windows on the display, etc.
I have a way they can keep kids in the class. Upon birth, the kids would be taken by government officials away from their parents, whom they will never see again. They are immediately placed in a special prison where children are educated until age 25, at which time, they are taken to a different prison where they will work until age 75, at which time, they are taken to another prison where they retire until age 85, after which, if they are still alive, they are shot.
This will have the following benefits: Everyone will be successful. Nobody will go hungry. Everybody will have health care. The government will take care of everything. And besides, people enjoy being locked up in a cold, damp, dirty prison. If you don't, then you are weird, strange, and a danger to the Party, so you must be shot.
Bill is thinking small. Why charge for upgrades? It is so difficult to convince people that they need updates when they're free. What makes Microsoft think that people will pay for something they won't bother to take for free?
What Bill needs to do is think fourth dimensionally. Updates continue to be free. Hell, Windows itself and all other Microsoft software should be completely free of charge as well. Microsoft will instead bring in ten times more profit by...
Charging for each software malfunction!
Microsoft will include special code in its kernels that will be backed up by a legally required instruction in the processor, along with a strong encryption path on the physical electronics that protect this particular instruction. This innovative technology will automatically detect software malfunctions and send a strongly encrypted packet to Microsoft. At that point, Microsoft will automatically bill the luser some set fee, like $20.00 for each occurance of a bug that causes an application to crash, $40.00 for a Windows BSOD, $60.00 for a complete crash requiring a cold boot, and, say, $100.00 for a crash that causes loss of data, including hard disk crashes unrelated to software.
This innovative technology would create tremendous value for Microsoft stockholders and employees of the company. Stockholders would make enormous profits on the millions upon millions of crashes that occur each day, compounded by the fact that Microsoft's software would inevitably get installed on more computers, being free of charge. Microsoft employees would not have to test or debug software as it is no longer a problem if the software malfunctions. This would shorten cycles, increase revenue and fulfill the enterprise integration strategy.
In short, Bill, stop thinking like a hungry beggar on the street trying to get a few more pennies for a beer and start thinking like a CEO of some powerful company.
"The good thing about the.zip file format was that you knew you could send it to everyone. Now that's getting broke."
BULLSHIT. PkWare gets this patent, and not two seconds will elapse before Aladdin Systems licenses it for use in their StuffIt program. That's because they will need to support the format in order to be relevant.
As for free software, you'll simply download a patch that says, "For educational purposes only, do not use without a license from PkWare." And guess what people will do.
On the other hand, how 'bout someone in the free software community invent a better compression algorithm that includes all kinds of encryption and other services that nobody's thought of yet, and distribute it everywhere...
I have an idea. How about, arrest everyone who lives in the same neighborhood as these world-threatening pirates. Heck, if your neighbor from two streets over is caught performing this crime against humanity, they should come and bulldoze all the houses in the neighborhood, starting with yours, even if you don't have any kind of electronics or devices in your home capable of reproducing sounds. And they should take you and your family away to slave labor camps in Siberia. Heck, they should do the same to people who have had the same IP address, if using DHCP, and to people who have the same first or last name, or a name that rhymes. As a matter of fact, this process will become the most efficient when they discover that people who don't have blonde hair and blue eyes are pirates, and line up everyone who violates this strictly defined code at the gates of death camps, where they put 10,000 people in a room, push a button, and a plasma gun goes off like in Doom-II and just pulverizes everyone. That would be the most efficient way to handle piracy. In my estimation, they would only have to kill 5,999,999,999 people, so this shouldn't be too difficult to implement. The poor, starving, dying-of-malaria-because-they-can't-afford-to-live -in-civilization artists would certainly be happy about it.
Sign up at the local 24 hour gym and go early in the morning before work. Don't forget to eat a good nutritious breakfast. Working out for an hour each morning will get all the parts moving, like the little gears and pullies and whatever else is in your body. Not to mention that your brain will work *much* better. You'll be tired and sore for the first few weeks, but stick with it and within a month you'll realize that you've never felt better in your whole life.
If reducing the amount of beer you drink by, say, 4% over the next six months is an option, I suggest you try that, too. But it's not mandatory. (I drink too much beer, too.)
This is an excellent idea. I would hope that I'd be able to read a few sentences or paragraphs from the text containing the search phrase, along with whatever pages I am able to preview before buying the book and I hope this will later be extended to fiction.
Just imagine if Amazon did some deal with the Library of Congress that allowed them to scan in nearly every book published in the United States. Once the information is digitally stored, it could be utilized in other ways as well:
Libraries around the country could offer consoles on which you could read any book through a secure connection of some type, preventing unauthorized copying, which would prevent book publishers from agreeing to this. You could essentially read any book, even if the library doesn't have it.
Bookstores, schools and other organizations might get in on this network and offer the same service.
This service doesn't even have to be free. I'd pay a subscription fee to have access to this information, as would the bookstores and whatnot.
The French are arrogant, stupid people. Their language, a direct outgrowth of their intellect, or lack thereof, is a pile of crap.
Ever wonder why all French words contain about 90% silent letters? It's simple. Back in the days when most people didn't know how to read or write, you'd have a scribe write down an important message and another scribe would read it to the recipient. Most people weren't very well educated, either, so words were rarely spelled "correctly," if a standard for spelling even existed. The Spanish scribes charged per word, which is why Spanish words are spelled exactly the way they sound. The French scribes, on the other hand, charged per letter, so they tacked a bunch of extra letters onto the end of each word, in order to increase the price. What do you expect from a bunch of stupid people like that?
Just a DISCLAIMER, folks: I have French people in my family and I speak French. Or rather, I know how, but try to avoid it whenever possible. It is a meaningless language.
German engineering my ass.
on
Pods Unite
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· Score: 0, Troll
Of course, I use a cassette adapter with my iPod, but I am not a German engineer. (Spelling correction of "cassette" mine.)
Don't overrate German engineers. They're not nearly as smart as popular belief would have you think. German products are crap, especially their cars and their beer. Jagermeister comes from Germany, and that's crap, too. What do you expect from people who use the Metric system?
I knew a German once. He was ok. But he wasn't an engineer.
Good! I'm sick of those lame advertisements! To be sure, I don't really mind banner ads. It's pop-ups that piss me off. But banner ads that are annoyingly animated or those that pretend to be lame computer messages are just plain tiring.
People who actually believe those are error messages are StupidPeople (tm). Like, you can't tell that it's part of a web page, stupid.
Just a little side note: It reminds me of all these stupid people on my cousin's street. I came to L.A. for a week (I live in Mexico City, if you must know) to visit my cousin and his buddies, and to go booze it up on the Sunset strip. So there's this stupid restaurant on the corner of his street, another one of those "trendy" restaurants with one-syllable names (because StupidPeople cannot remember names with more than one syllable--it overflows their stack), and it's always crowded. The StupidPeople who eat there always park their cars on my cousin's street, and as a result, my cousin and all his neighbors are at a loss to find parking spaces. During the weekend, it's especially bad. To make matters ironic, his street is permit-parking only. So he called the parking enforcement agency and they came by and ticketed at least 10 different cars. All these StupidPeople came back to their cars, saw the tickets, and started reading the parking signs, as if they didn't know that it's illegal to park there without a permit. What's even funnier? My cousin's roommate was outside when one such group of StupidPeople pulled up in their Stupid Ugly Vehicle (SUV) and he told them that they can't park there. They did anyway, got a ticket, and then acted all surprised when they did (I watched them gleefully from the window when they returned to their car).
I call them StupidPeople because they all look the same. They all have this Los Angeles accent and vocabulary that is different than in, say, Louisville. All the women have stupid, meaningless tattoos on their lower backs. All the men have a lame haircut. And you can tell by their speech that unlike the typical computer geek, they do not have a brain inside their head. They are simply StupidPeople. Their stupidity drives me up the wall.
Back to banner ads: People who fell for this trick should not be allowed to use a computer in the first place. And the people who made these stupid ads should be shot for lack of imagination.
So is this the way the search engine competition will be won? Through patents and lawsuits?
Why should this be won through something irrelevant, like, I don't know, technical merit? Nah. Search engines don't need to be technically superior or deliver good results. The important thing is that someone's bogus patent is protected.
What I tell everyone is this: Set up your computer exactly the way you like it, with whatever partitions and whatnot, install all the programs you want on there, and clean up whatever you don't want on there. It doesn't matter what OS it is.
Then, make your own "installation" CD that creates the partitions this way and copies all the files into the correct place. If anything goes wrong later on, back up your data, stick in your bootable CD, bata-bing, bata-boom, and you've got it exactly the way you want again.
Save all your files in a specific place on your hard disk (your home directory on an operating system, or wherever it is that Windows has you save files if that's what you use), so that you can easily copy them over to a "server" once in a while, that server being some old box in your closet with a huge hard drive. You could back up any and all computers that you have on this hard drive, so that at any given time, you have two copies of your data. Segregating your data from that of programs and whatnot will also allow you to make new bootable installation disks every so often if you decide to install more programs on your hard disk, so that recovery places everything exactly the way you want it, and you only have to copy stuff back over from your "server" to complete the procedure.
Slashdot Mirror
- SingleAtom technology squeezes the entire processor into a single atom which contains over a million protons with modified quark structure. The instability caused by the enormous number of protons causes the processor to decompose with a half-life of under
.000000000000000000000001 microseconds. The processor takes full advantage of this characteristic of heavy atoms and uses an antigravity-like technology to push the protons into the proper configuration. The processor executes its instructions through constant realignment of its protons.
- The processing pipeline has been broken down into 299,792,458 discreet steps, enabling Intel to remove the internal clock altogether and run the processor at the speed of light. One "cycle" represents the absolute cosmic measure unit of time, and all operations occur in one cycle.
- 24,856 new instructions have been added since the previous model, bringing the new total to over 72 trillion instructions. All SCO intellectual property can be programmed in one instruction, increasing SCO revenues due to legal action.
- RAM has been depreciated. 4 exabytes of internal general-use registers allow software to make more efficient data access, providing a more compelling Internet experience.
- Intel (r) AnswerNow (tm) Technology bends the space-time continuum, allowing the results of branch instructions and mathematical operations to be used before they are computed. The computations take place during idle cycles at some future time.
- Intel (r) CodeSpirit (tm) Technology processes machine code by its spirit, rather than its letter, completely eliminating software bugs and preventing malicious code, such as a virus, from executing.
- Intel (r) AlienCode (tm) Technology, based on CodeSpirit, allows users to execute programs written for any other processor, without previous knowledge of that processor's instruction set. The technology examines and "decyphers" the instructions and data in much the same way that scientists decypher written languages used by past civilizations. Via AnswerNow and CodeSpirit technologies, programs written for other processors actually run faster and better on Intel platforms than on their native processor. As a side effect, the processor now directly executes programs and scripts written in Java or any P-code or text-based language. In fact, even instructions spelled out in English are understood and executed by the processor.
- Intel (r) BrainWaves (tm) Technology allows the processor to read and write information in the user's mind. The processor is given away for free, and based on the user's thoughts, targetted advertisements are inserted directly into the user's mind. The process is painless, and simply feels like a song stuck in your head. A nominal (i.e., expensive) fee can be paid daily to eliminate the advertisements.
- Intel (r) NoPower (tm) Technology allows the processor to run by harnessing the energy present in the universe on a quantum scale. No electric current is required to operate the processor and since it consumes the energy present in the physical matter from which it is made, the processor absorbs all heat it might otherwise generate, operating as a perpetual energy source. This also causes the processor to run at 0 Kelvin, making it the coolest running processor ever released.
Buy one today!Upon reading this post, one realizes that it closely resembles going to dinner with a buddy, asking, "How's business?" and writing it off as a business expense. Further, this post closely resembles a sandwich that appears large but, once eaten, proves unsatisfyingly small. A staid, steadfast comment, it resembles a pantomime of images.
Because this post is supposed to be about SCO, Darl McBribe / McBlackmail / McExtort / McThreaten / McLose / Mc-Go-To-Jail-Do-Not-Pass-Go-Do-Not-Collect-Two-Hu ndred-Billion-Dollars. But the meat of this post is decidedly unsatisfying: SCO is trying to play hard ball with the big boys when SCO, unfit even to be called a little boy, is barely a hole in some dead goat's ass. (See what I mean about "pantomime of images?" And that's a pretty gross image, if you ask me.)
This post constitutes gobbledygook. Like the unfulfilling sandwich, it first appears large but contains nothing of value. And what the author has done fits well within the aforementioned business dinner analogy, as the author has said about 2 words that were on topic, yet all that followed diverted from that original focus, nay, is completely off topic.
Just like SCO's business plan.
By the way, check out Verity Stob in the September, 2003 issue of Dr. Dobbs Journal... I've never liked Verity Stob before, but this month's column is almost as good as some of the Bastard Operator From Hell episodes.
The companies that are dropping support for these games are doing so for a simple reason: They are no longer profitable and are therefore supporting them produces nothing but expense. The property rights remain but the game becomes a victim of bitrot and disappears forever.
The solution is to make these games profitable for the companies that own them. One way of doing this is to handle game rights the same way the Blender rights were handled: Get a bunch of people to donate a little bit of money and then make the company an offer to buy the rights, source code, schematics, and whatever other property makes up the games. To the companies, the choice is simple: Either throw away this game that nobody (they think) cares about, or let a bunch of geeks buy it off them for some money.
I think an organization of some sorts could be put together to accept donations and buy the rights to all kinds of old products, not just games. Anything "classic" or still useful. People donating money could specify all kinds of products they would like to preserve. Kind of like those, "We buy old houses!" or, "We buy old cars!" companies.
Upon reading this post, one realizes that it closely resembles going to dinner with a buddy, asking, "How's business?" and writing it off as a business expense. Further, this post closely resembles a sandwich that appears large but, once eaten, proves unsatisfyingly small. A staid, steadfast comment, it resembles a pantomime of images.
Because this post is supposed to be about SCO, Darl McBribe / McBlackmail / McExtort / McThreaten / McLose / Mc-Go-To-Jail-Do-Not-Pass-Go-Do-Not-Collect-Two-Hu ndred-Billion-Dollars. But the meat of this post is decidedly unsatisfying: SCO is trying to play hard ball with the big boys when SCO, unfit even to be called a little boy, is barely a hole in some dead goat's ass. (See what I mean about "pantomime of images?" And that's a pretty gross image, if you ask me.)
This post constitutes gobbledygook. Like the unfulfilling sandwich, it first appears large but contains nothing of value. And what the author has done fits well within the aforementioned business dinner analogy, as the author has said about 2 words that were on topic, yet all that followed diverted from that original focus, nay, is completely off topic.
Just like SCO's business plan.
As the mastermind behind this innovative post, I feel as though it is my responsibility to inform you of something quite important: After getting quite a ways down this post, you'll come to realize that it's a lot like going to dinner with your buddy, saying, "How's business?" and writing it off as a business expense. A staid, steadfast comment, its life more closely resembles a pantomime of images, as opposed to a tame chapter of sounds. Because by leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions. As common sense would indicate, when one reads gobbledygook like this, one is bound to realize that what the author has done fits well within the aforementioned business dinner analogy, as the author has said about 2 words that were on topic, yet all that followed diverted from that original focus, nay, is completely off topic.
Microsoft uses CVS to develop Windows? I always knew there was something fishy going on!
On a more serious note... for future reference: If you have something like CDs with source code that you know you are NOT supposed to have, just shut up and don't go telling the whole world about it. Otherwise you could get into all kinds of trouble.
Then, we got Bill Gates and asked him to copy a file using Windows XP.
The 100 people looked at a blank black screen and commented that they have no idea what to do and that Linux can only be appreciated by geeks.
Bill Gates said that Windows XP is great and that he will undoubtedly continue using it instead of switching to Linux.
In other words, 0% of the people who tested Linux liked it. 100% of the people who tested Windows liked it.
This is an exaggeration, of course, but when you put 65 people on Linux and 20 people on Windows, that is automatically unfair.
A more fair experiment would have been to get 100 people. 50 would start on Linux; 50 would start on Windows. After some elapsed time, each group would switch. This evens things out quite a bit.
But then again... What do you expect from a bunch of Germans? I mean, this is where Jagermeister comes from, people!
And if, by some fscked up logic, you are allowed to patent ideas that have no implementation, what's stopping all the movie producers who portrayed things like this in their movies from patenting this or any other idea seen in a futuristic movie. Hey, I got one... How 'bout patenting cyborgs? Hmmm... Good deal.
Just like how one slow driver on the street causes a traffic jam that lasts hours, even on roads with many lanes. It should be allowed to beat the crap out of people like that. If you want to take your sweet time driving down the street, pull over and let the 10 billion people who actually need to get where they're going pass you, you dumb fuck.
I would be a lot more concerned about people who try to play the guitar (or any stringed instrument) with cold hands. This is extremely difficult to do, as your fingers don't bend just right, consequently hitting the wrong string or not hitting any string at all, missing it by a tiny distance. This degrades the quality of your performance. And there is no 'backspace' string on the guitar.
Buy one of those $500.00 computers that comes with Windows XP preinstalled. Drag them to small claims court over the $199.00 price of Windows. The computer has just cost you $301.00. Hmmm... Good deal!
I would set up a system of prerequisites, like they have in colleges or something, where the one main prerequisite to everything else is Computers 101: Assembly Programming with the Zilog z80 Microprocessor. After that, you can teach them how to use Windows XP; you know, things like how to move a mouse cursor, how to minimize and maximize windows on the display, etc.
This will have the following benefits: Everyone will be successful. Nobody will go hungry. Everybody will have health care. The government will take care of everything. And besides, people enjoy being locked up in a cold, damp, dirty prison. If you don't, then you are weird, strange, and a danger to the Party, so you must be shot.
In other words, any music in MP3 format is pirated, and any music in Microsoft's format is legitimate.
Yeah. And you can earn $16.00 to $24.00 an hour by stuffing envelopes in your house.
What Bill needs to do is think fourth dimensionally. Updates continue to be free. Hell, Windows itself and all other Microsoft software should be completely free of charge as well. Microsoft will instead bring in ten times more profit by...
Charging for each software malfunction!
Microsoft will include special code in its kernels that will be backed up by a legally required instruction in the processor, along with a strong encryption path on the physical electronics that protect this particular instruction. This innovative technology will automatically detect software malfunctions and send a strongly encrypted packet to Microsoft. At that point, Microsoft will automatically bill the luser some set fee, like $20.00 for each occurance of a bug that causes an application to crash, $40.00 for a Windows BSOD, $60.00 for a complete crash requiring a cold boot, and, say, $100.00 for a crash that causes loss of data, including hard disk crashes unrelated to software.
This innovative technology would create tremendous value for Microsoft stockholders and employees of the company. Stockholders would make enormous profits on the millions upon millions of crashes that occur each day, compounded by the fact that Microsoft's software would inevitably get installed on more computers, being free of charge. Microsoft employees would not have to test or debug software as it is no longer a problem if the software malfunctions. This would shorten cycles, increase revenue and fulfill the enterprise integration strategy.
In short, Bill, stop thinking like a hungry beggar on the street trying to get a few more pennies for a beer and start thinking like a CEO of some powerful company.
BULLSHIT. PkWare gets this patent, and not two seconds will elapse before Aladdin Systems licenses it for use in their StuffIt program. That's because they will need to support the format in order to be relevant.
As for free software, you'll simply download a patch that says, "For educational purposes only, do not use without a license from PkWare." And guess what people will do.
On the other hand, how 'bout someone in the free software community invent a better compression algorithm that includes all kinds of encryption and other services that nobody's thought of yet, and distribute it everywhere...
I have an idea. How about, arrest everyone who lives in the same neighborhood as these world-threatening pirates. Heck, if your neighbor from two streets over is caught performing this crime against humanity, they should come and bulldoze all the houses in the neighborhood, starting with yours, even if you don't have any kind of electronics or devices in your home capable of reproducing sounds. And they should take you and your family away to slave labor camps in Siberia. Heck, they should do the same to people who have had the same IP address, if using DHCP, and to people who have the same first or last name, or a name that rhymes. As a matter of fact, this process will become the most efficient when they discover that people who don't have blonde hair and blue eyes are pirates, and line up everyone who violates this strictly defined code at the gates of death camps, where they put 10,000 people in a room, push a button, and a plasma gun goes off like in Doom-II and just pulverizes everyone. That would be the most efficient way to handle piracy. In my estimation, they would only have to kill 5,999,999,999 people, so this shouldn't be too difficult to implement. The poor, starving, dying-of-malaria-because-they-can't-afford-to-live -in-civilization artists would certainly be happy about it.
If reducing the amount of beer you drink by, say, 4% over the next six months is an option, I suggest you try that, too. But it's not mandatory. (I drink too much beer, too.)
Just imagine if Amazon did some deal with the Library of Congress that allowed them to scan in nearly every book published in the United States. Once the information is digitally stored, it could be utilized in other ways as well:
- Libraries around the country could offer consoles on which you could read any book through a secure connection of some type, preventing unauthorized copying, which would prevent book publishers from agreeing to this. You could essentially read any book, even if the library doesn't have it.
- Bookstores, schools and other organizations might get in on this network and offer the same service.
This service doesn't even have to be free. I'd pay a subscription fee to have access to this information, as would the bookstores and whatnot.Ever wonder why all French words contain about 90% silent letters? It's simple. Back in the days when most people didn't know how to read or write, you'd have a scribe write down an important message and another scribe would read it to the recipient. Most people weren't very well educated, either, so words were rarely spelled "correctly," if a standard for spelling even existed. The Spanish scribes charged per word, which is why Spanish words are spelled exactly the way they sound. The French scribes, on the other hand, charged per letter, so they tacked a bunch of extra letters onto the end of each word, in order to increase the price. What do you expect from a bunch of stupid people like that?
Just a DISCLAIMER, folks: I have French people in my family and I speak French. Or rather, I know how, but try to avoid it whenever possible. It is a meaningless language.
Don't overrate German engineers. They're not nearly as smart as popular belief would have you think. German products are crap, especially their cars and their beer. Jagermeister comes from Germany, and that's crap, too. What do you expect from people who use the Metric system?
I knew a German once. He was ok. But he wasn't an engineer.
People who actually believe those are error messages are StupidPeople (tm). Like, you can't tell that it's part of a web page, stupid.
Just a little side note: It reminds me of all these stupid people on my cousin's street. I came to L.A. for a week (I live in Mexico City, if you must know) to visit my cousin and his buddies, and to go booze it up on the Sunset strip. So there's this stupid restaurant on the corner of his street, another one of those "trendy" restaurants with one-syllable names (because StupidPeople cannot remember names with more than one syllable--it overflows their stack), and it's always crowded. The StupidPeople who eat there always park their cars on my cousin's street, and as a result, my cousin and all his neighbors are at a loss to find parking spaces. During the weekend, it's especially bad. To make matters ironic, his street is permit-parking only. So he called the parking enforcement agency and they came by and ticketed at least 10 different cars. All these StupidPeople came back to their cars, saw the tickets, and started reading the parking signs, as if they didn't know that it's illegal to park there without a permit. What's even funnier? My cousin's roommate was outside when one such group of StupidPeople pulled up in their Stupid Ugly Vehicle (SUV) and he told them that they can't park there. They did anyway, got a ticket, and then acted all surprised when they did (I watched them gleefully from the window when they returned to their car).
I call them StupidPeople because they all look the same. They all have this Los Angeles accent and vocabulary that is different than in, say, Louisville. All the women have stupid, meaningless tattoos on their lower backs. All the men have a lame haircut. And you can tell by their speech that unlike the typical computer geek, they do not have a brain inside their head. They are simply StupidPeople. Their stupidity drives me up the wall.
Back to banner ads: People who fell for this trick should not be allowed to use a computer in the first place. And the people who made these stupid ads should be shot for lack of imagination.
Why should this be won through something irrelevant, like, I don't know, technical merit? Nah. Search engines don't need to be technically superior or deliver good results. The important thing is that someone's bogus patent is protected.
Then, make your own "installation" CD that creates the partitions this way and copies all the files into the correct place. If anything goes wrong later on, back up your data, stick in your bootable CD, bata-bing, bata-boom, and you've got it exactly the way you want again.
Save all your files in a specific place on your hard disk (your home directory on an operating system, or wherever it is that Windows has you save files if that's what you use), so that you can easily copy them over to a "server" once in a while, that server being some old box in your closet with a huge hard drive. You could back up any and all computers that you have on this hard drive, so that at any given time, you have two copies of your data. Segregating your data from that of programs and whatnot will also allow you to make new bootable installation disks every so often if you decide to install more programs on your hard disk, so that recovery places everything exactly the way you want it, and you only have to copy stuff back over from your "server" to complete the procedure.