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Comments · 645

  1. Home Secretary Requests Fingerprint-Activated iPod on Home Secretary Requests Fingerprint-Activated iPods · · Score: 1

    Only if I can use both of my middle fingers to unlock it.
    I'm ambidexterous, you know.

  2. Re:C'mon on Jack Valenti, Dead at 85 · · Score: 1

    While I also think some of the comments on his death are a bit over the top or disgusting, there ARE some people that the world is better off without.

  3. Re:Next up in the news ... on Resolution To Impeach VP Cheney Submitted · · Score: 3, Funny

    Upon questioning the Vice President about the impeachment proceeding, this reporter was rebuked and told, "Be vewy, vewy quiet; I'm hunting the wascally Kucinich!"

  4. Re:It sounds like... on The Germs' Drummer Arrested For Carrying Soap · · Score: 4, Funny

    No need to worry; it'll all come out OK in the wash.

  5. Trying to identify birds via webcam... on Massively Multiplayer Online Birdwatching Game · · Score: 1

    is for the birds.

    Uh... wait a minute...

  6. Are the Mozilla developers... on The Coop, Social Networking For Mozilla · · Score: 0

    telling us to get the Flock out of here?

  7. Scientists Create Sheep That Are 15 Percent Human on Scientists Create Sheep That Are 15 Percent Human · · Score: 1

    Is that measured by volume or by weight?

  8. Re:Since Novell and Microsoft said this... on Novell Assents To "Windows Is Cheaper Than Linux" · · Score: 2, Funny

    Actually it should be:

    Since Microsoft AND Novell said this...

    No conflict of interest here; move along, citizens.

  9. Re:obligatory on Drug Selectively Removes Rats' Memory · · Score: 1

    Actually, a drug that could erase memories might be a very good thing for people who undergo traumatic surgeries. I spent a good portion of my life with untreated PTSD because doctors used to believe that children who had surgeries didn't remember the experience. Well, they recently found out that assumption was wrong.

    I, personally, would have preferred to "forget" the experience of undergoing three open-heart surgeries rather than being angry at everything when I was between the ages of 4 and 34.

  10. Sounds, Nerves and Migraines on Scientists Say Nerves Use Sound, Not Electricity · · Score: 1

    Well, if nerves really do communicate by sound that would explain why my head feels like someone is playing a thrash metal tune in it when I have a migraine.

  11. Minimum hassle? on Auto-Parallelizing Compiler From Codeplay · · Score: 1

    'What Sieve is is a C++ compiler that will take a section of code and parallelize it for you with a minimum hassle."

    What does the compiler do, taunt you with harsh language while it compiles your code?

  12. Has your VIP ever heard of a little company... on Samba Success in the Enterprise? · · Score: 5, Insightful

    called Google?

    Probably not.

  13. Obligatory Quote from a Scottish Engineer on Scotland Building Wave Power Farms · · Score: 5, Funny

    "We canna create any more power, Captain! They're wiggling as fast as they can!"

  14. No big deal if you don't update... on 'Daylight Savings Bugs' Loom · · Score: 3, Insightful

    You'll catch up to the rest of us in three weeks!

  15. Re:Wow on Earth's Constant Hum Explained · · Score: 1

    Actually, the Earth hums because it can't carry a tune while singing.

  16. Space garbage collection on Low Earth Orbit Junk Yard Nearly Full · · Score: 1

    Perhaps we should hire this guy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quark_(TV_series)

  17. Re:a bit far... on DNA to Test Theory of Roman Village in China · · Score: 1

    Not really, rather, this is what happens when the guy who can read the map gets killed and you just end up roman around looking for a place to eat.

  18. Find a college that takes life experience on Would a CS Degree Be Good for Someone Over 30? · · Score: 1

    I'm in the same boat as you: I never finished college because I was too busy working. The best college I've found is an on-line university that is an accredited institution and takes life experience into account. The college (Excelsior) is great for those of us that don't need to take introductory computer courses or even some of the higher-level classes. Helps get that piece of paper so people can see that someone else agrees that you know what you know.

  19. My sign would read... on Spamming Google Maps · · Score: 1

    Beam me up, Scotty! There's no intelligent life down here!

  20. Re:Iridium layer on Global Warming May Have Killed the Dinosaurs · · Score: 1

    Actually, the global warming they are referring to is the heat blast from the meteor impact.

  21. Re:It's because... on Global Warming Only a Theory, Says School Board · · Score: 1

    Latin is a language,
    As dead as can be;
    First it killed the Greeks,
    Now it's killing me!

    A little ditty I learned in Catholic High School.

    Post Simsum Sequiteur, Septuna Luna Subset

  22. Re:Nothing new to NSA... on Microsoft Gets Help From NSA for Vista Security · · Score: 1

    Leads one to wonder how much or how many features of SELinux ended up in Vista. I'm not trolling here, just wondering which security features SELinux and Vista now share.

  23. Re:COBOL is so old... on Modernizing the Common Language - COBOL · · Score: 1

    I learned COBOL in 1984 via a college course. I went on to use it at my first programming jobs (oil and gas company). COBOL is far from dead as it handles transactions, which banks deal with 24/7/365, very very well. Quite a few people I know who still do COBOL are in high demand and are paid extremely well for their services.

    COBOL, if you didn't know, means COmmon Business-Oriented Language and was originally developed by a group of large businesses that wanted to make applications easy to understand and portable. COBOL is very easy to understand (How difficult is "ADD ONE TO ONE GIVING RESULT." to understand?) and is porting from one platform to another is a breeze compared to the nightmare of porting C or C++.

    Now, pardon me, it's time for me to go back to the old folks home.

  24. Re:Dungeon radio on What Bizarre IT Setups Have You Seen? · · Score: 1
    One lady actually took a small clock, took the plastic front off and attached a piece of paper to the second hand, when she wasn't doing anything, she placed the mouse in front of the clock so that when the second hand went past, it moved the mouse slightly stopping it from locking.


    I had a user (let's call him "Frank") that did something similar: I was doing systems administration for a DoD contract and our office area was always notoriously hot despite being in a data center. We also had a draconianly short workstation lockout period (180 seconds!). "Frank" used a paper clip and string to attach his mouse to an oscellating fan on his desk when he had to run to the bathroom (frequently due to prostate problems), The fan would drag the mouse across the mouse pad and keep the workstation unlocked.
  25. Kicking a robot dog on Do Electric Sheep Dream of Civil Rights? · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I have three cats at home; two of them are smart enough to avoid me while I stumble around in the dark. The third cat occasionally gets his tail stepped on. The hideous screech he emits makes me walk on tip-toes for the rest of the day.

    My Roomba, on the other hand, emits a soft rrr-rrr-rrr when I step on it and doesn't hiss at me afterwards. Would I kick a robotic dog? Sure, and I wouldn't worrying about it crapping on my bed afterwards.